Chapter 1

Chapter 36

"Fucking jackass." The voice was distorted by the small recording device, but Olivia knew it was Jack's. "I give him shelter, teach him how to kill without getting caught, and what does the fucker do? Goes out and offs some mental case in the dumbest way possible. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do? We don't have enough money to bolt, and we sure as hell can't stay around here." A loud sigh that crackled through the small device. "Fucking idiot."

There was a pause and a sort of click that signified a new recording. Jack's voice continued, "Might as well have been a rookie; she opened the door without even asking for a badge. Not that it mattered, I'm not stupid enough to go in unprepared." So even if she had asked for a badge, he still would have ended up in the apartment. Olivia wasn't sure what to think of that. She'd still screwed up, regardless of what would have happened if she'd done it right. "I don't see this thing going down easy. She's a decorated detective, not someone they're gonna give up on easy. No problem, I know how to deal with cops. But still, it's got me on edge. What the fuck are we gonna do with her if it doesn't go down?" Another loud, distorted sigh, another click, another new recording.

"Shit. I knew they'd fake us out. 50 grand and the rest impressive forgeries. Not must use now, with all the technology they have now to check bills. Now I've got her to deal with. Can I risk letting her go? She saw my face, but whatever, one more unit on my tail doesn't matter. Still…Shit, why the hell did I grab her? I can't just let her go, what the hell are Chris and Jeff gonna think? If I lose control of Jeff I'm fucked." Yet another sigh. Apparently Jack turned to his voice recorder in times of confusion. "I'm too old for this shit."

Olivia almost laughed. The tape seemed to having nothing more on it, so she took it out and slipped the second one in. Jack's voice came on yet again. "Got spunk, that's for sure. Took the damn beer cap off with her teeth." He laughed, and Olivia wondered if it was really pride she heard in his voice or if she was hearing things. It was probably exactly what she suspected, but it just seemed so out of place she found it hard to believe. "I wonder if she's any good at poker? What the hell else am I supposed to do here while I wait for the new car? Fuck, I hate this place." There was a pause so long Olivia wondered if the recorder had stopped working and was just about to hit play when Jack's voice came through again.

"Why did I threaten her? Could I really do that to her? Give everyone a go on her, humiliate her like that? It would ruin her life, and what the hell good is that gonna do for me? Maybe it's the only way to let her live. Jeff's leash is already getting to tight for him, if I let her go he's not gonna come back to me. She's an SVU detective, it'll ruin her. Or maybe she'll be able to deal with it better than anyone, who knows? If she's just gonna eat her gun later why let her go and risk pissing Jeff off? I should just off Jeff and get this shit over with. Chris is just a dumb puppy, he'll do whatever the hell I tell him. It has it's appeal…who the fuck am I kidding, I'm not gonna off Jeff. You're losin' it, Jacko. Fucking loony toons." This time Olivia did laugh. She had expected Jack's voice filling her apartment to be chilling, but it filled her with nothing more than curiosity and some amusement. She slipped in the third tape, and suddenly the ice she had expected to fill her came full force. But not at all the way she had expected.

"I can't let her go, not while Jeff's around. He's gonna off her himself if I don't deal with him. Dammit, Jeff! I almost wish she'd choose, tell me she'd rather eat her gun than be raped, this would be over by now." He'd wanted her to make the decision for him? She wasn't sure what to think of that. "That's it, I'm sick of this shit. Jeff's gotta go." A long pause, a click, a new recording.

"Fuck! Jeff's on the loose, what the fuck are we supposed to do now?! If I let her go he'll probably hunt her down. Perfect. Just fucking perfect. She had to have heard the shot. Is she freaking out? If she thinks someone's dead is she gonna try something stupid? This has to end. It has to end. Chris is already on edge, the thought of having a witness, I don't know what he thinks about that. I finally convinced him to take of that fucking mask, so does that mean he trusts me or he's scared of me because I tried to kill Jeff?" Wait, Chris had taken the mask off because Jack told him to? The first ice cube slid into her stomach. "Fuck it, we've got the money, my contact came through, let her find her way back to New York. Her face is all over the news, she'll be back there in no time. Let her go?" A sigh. "Yeah. Yeah, it has to end. Just take some time to get Chris on board. Time for a washroom break, I guess. I'll talk to Chris once she's back downstairs."

Now the chill set in, the numbness. Jack was going to let her go. He had intended to let her go and just before he could tell her, she had killed him. Why had he fought back? Simple: she was trying to kill him and he didn't want to die. She hadn't attacked him in self defence. He had attacked her in self defence. Olivia went to the bathroom and was sick until there was nothing left in her stomach. 'I'm a murderer. They're gonna lock me up for life.'

Olivia went back into the living room and reached for her cell phone with trembling hands.