Oh my gosh, I did it again. This chapter was supposed to be half a chaoter and it ended up being way way longer, so it became its own chapter. Also BTW the poll is on my profile at the top of the page (some people have been asking). And I'm pretty sure you have to be logged on to your account. Anyhoot, let's get to the good stuff. Enjoy!

Chapter 34: His Confession

Lucy

My hands shook in my lap when we were all back in the court room. My legs were fidgeting and Levy had to grasp my hand to keep me from hyperventilating. I took a breath as the judge walked back in and sat on his pedestal. Gildarts and the defense attorney both stood up to continue the trial.

"Your honor, the prosecution would like to introduce a new plead to the jury. As most of us know, Zeref of the Dragon Slayer Gang is without a doubt, the worst human being in this room. However, the prosecution would like to further this accusation as well as defend some of the people involved in Zeref's inner circle." I took a deep breath. This was it. The judge leaned forward curiously and rubbed his chin.

"Do explain." He said calmly. Gildarts took a breath and straightened his back.

"For both the prosecution of Zeref Dragneel and the defense of his closest accomplice, the prosecution would like to call up to the chair, Natsu Dragneel, son of Zeref and heir to the Dragon Slayer Gang." Gildarts exclaimed, brandishing his arm toward Natsu's row.

My eyes widened as low murmurs rang through the hall. I wasn't the only one who looked surprised. Erza's head whipped around and Levy's hand tightened against mine. I turned my head slightly to see that most of Natsu's advisors were staring at him in shock as he stood up and was escorted to the floor by a police officer. He did not look at all surprised. His eyes were dark and his lips pursed, and he refused to look in my direction. Was this planned? Was this spontaneous? Did he know he was going to do this?

My thoughts drifted back to our conversation. His eyes had been so empty then. He had already accepted his fate then. And even though he had given me his love, he immediately rejected mine. He told me he couldn't, that I couldn't that we couldn't. And maybe at the time, he was right. But maybe, just maybe, what I had said had gotten through to him. Maybe he was finally going to fight for his freedom.

He started to vow with his right hand raised to tell the whole truth, no matter what. He did his vows and sat down on the witness chair. He looked straight ahead, and I tried to catch his eye, to see if he would give me anything to help me figure out how to feel. Should I be worried? Should I be relieved? I wouldn't know, because Natsu never gave me even a fleeting glance. Gildarts stood and paced in front of him as though he were trying to come up with a good question.

"You are Natsu Dragneel? Son and heir to Zeref's Dragon Slayer Gang?" Gildarts asked, rubbing his chin. Natsu lifted his own and looked Gildarts directly in the eye.

"Yes." He said curtly.

"You've been raised in the gang environment?"

"Yes."

"Did you ever have a choice to leave that life?"

"No." I saw Zeref shift. My eyes focused on him and I realized that he was no longer smiling. His eyes were calm, but there was a tightness in his jaw that told me he did not know Natsu was going to be called to the floor. I realized then that Zeref was getting apprehensive because Natsu was no longer loyal to him. Not after he relinquished his power to Mard Geer.

"How old are you?" Gildarts continued, turning y head back to the scene. Realized that I didn't actually know Natsu's age, I assumed he was two or three years older than me.

"I'm eighteen." I raised my eyebrows. He was barely a year older than me. I had assumed he was at least twenty.

"Barely an adult." This is was not a question. It was a point. Gildarts faced the jury and raised his arms. "From what I have gathered, this boy had no choice to be in a gang and is barely old enough to make decisions for himself." He was trying to sway the jury. This wasn't supposed to be allowed.

"Objection!" I anticipated the defense attorney raising his hand. The judge glared at Gildarts and nodded.

"Sustained." He said, giving the attorney a pointed look. Gildarts shrugged and turned back to Natsu.

"So is Zeref your biological father?"

"No." Natsu replied almost instantly. It was like he was waiting for that question. Zeref straightened and I looked over to see his eyes had darkened lightly. He didn't like where this was going.

"Then do you know who your real parents are?" Natsu closed his eyes for a second before lifting his chin and giving one slow nod. I shifted in my seat, tilting my head. This was the first I heard about this. He had never talked about his parents because I assumed he didn't even know who they were. "What are their names?" I looked over at Zeref whose eyes were narrowed to slits.

"Igneel and Kasai Dragneel." Zeref's eyes flashed and I snapped my head back to Natsu who was looked directly at his adoptive father. "Kasai, my mother, was the daughter of Alvarez Dragneel, founder of the Dragon Slayer Gang. They were murdered when I was a child because they loved each other." Natsu's eyes burned as he stared at Zeref hard. I felt my heart clench. Why had he never told me?

"Who killed them?" Gildarts asked.

"Objection!" This from the defense attorney. Before the judge could sustain or overrule it, Natsu stood up and pointed directly at Zeref.

"Zeref killed them!" He yelled. "He murdered them because he was jealous and hurt that he was unworthy of my mother's love. He manipulated his way into the gang, and he manipulated me!" Natsu then realized what he was doing and sat down, still fuming. Murmurs erupted through the entire hall and the judge had to bang his gavel. I glanced toward Zeref's row as Levi gripped my hand in fear. Zeref's head dropped, so I couldn't see his eyes, and I realized he was probably doing that on purpose. If he had to hide his face, I knew he was either showing too much emotion, or showing too little. Either way, it would hurt him in the court.

"I see you're distressed by this. If you are able, can you explain your experience with Zeref as you know him?" Gildarts asked, as soon as the intense murmuring in the courtroom had finally died down.

"Objection!"

"Overruled." The judge's dismissal was almost instant. The defense attorney let out a frustrated sigh and sat down. The judge was looking at Natsu curiously, like he was trying to decide if Natsu was telling the truth. I glanced at the jury. Everyone had varying levels of interest and excitement.

Me? I was terrified. This was when I found out the truth about Natsu, whether I wanted to or not. This was when I discovered who he was, truly and whether it was right for me to trust him. This was when I found out if Natsu deserved my love, or if I had just given it to him blindly. It would be now when I found out if Natsu was being honest when he told me that he'd done things even I didn't know about. That he was a bad person and he deserved prison. I couldn't bring myself to accept it then, but now I may be forced to.

"I didn't know my parents." Natsu began, clenching his hands to fists. "My father was murdered before I was born and my mother died in front of me. I was too young when she died to remember who it was. Then Zeref took me in. He raised me to be his son and the heir to the Dragon Slayer Gang. At the tender age of eight, I was learning to fight and to kill. At the age of twelve I'd been sent on my first missions. And at the age of fourteen, I began to assemble my own team of advisors to help me once it was my turn to become gang lord." Natsu paused, looking down at his hands.

"Can you describe your missions?" Gldarts asked. Natsu's head jerked up as he stared at him in surprise. Then suddenly, his gaze connected with mine. I felt a jolt of electricity and had to force myself not to flinch. I understood when he looked back at Gildarts. Natsu had never told me about this part of his life. He'd never told anyone. Now, he'd be forced to tell the entire court.

"They varied. Sometimes it was just an intelligence mission where I needed to hide and listen, or a retrieval when I just had to fetch something, like an errand." Natsu's eyes darkened as he lowered his head. "And sometimes, they were kill orders." Murmurs rang through the court room as the judge stared at Natsu in shock. I wrung my hands in my shirt. I'd been expecting him to say that. I knew that he had killed before, I just had not idea he'd been so young.

"What you're saying is that Zeref sent a twelve year old boy to kill people he didn't like?" Gildarts asked. I took a breath and marveled at how Gildarts was able to spin it. even though Natsu was the one who performed the deeds, it was Zeref who called the order and therefore, it was not Natsu's fault. Not entirely anyway.

"Marian Lawson, George Johnson, Dylan Muse, Petra Kahn." Natsu said suddenly. The court room was silent as they stared at Natsu to continue his explanation. Who were the names he'd just listed?

"The people I killed." Natsu explained. Almost instantly, phones were pulled out, computers, tablets, everything was yanked out. People were looking up the names. They were looking to see if Natsu was telling the truth.

"You never forgot them." Gildarts said. It wasn't a question, but Natsu nodded anyway. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I was angry and get so sad. I was angry at Natsu for never telling me about his life. I was angry at the court for forcing it out of him. I was angry at the jury for judging him when they had no idea. But I was most angry at the man sitting on the other side of the court room, his dark eyes shining red and his usually calm, amused face, white yet emotionless.

When the murmuring finally died down, Gildarts took a breath and began asking Natsu questions again.

"Who are your advisors and why did you choose them?" Natsu listed off their names and all of their skills. He added how loyal they were to him and that he did not choose them as much as they chose him. They were more than just advisors, they were his siblings and he knew they would follow him anywhere, even against his gang lord if they had to.

"You said that your advisors are loyal to you and only you. Can you explain why they are not loyal to Zeref, their gang lord?" Natsu sighed and turned his attention to his row of advisors. I turned my head in their direction and saw that most of them were smiling. They knew that this was it for them and they knew that Natsu was giving it his all to get them out. And they loved him for that.

"They are my friends. I've known them for four years, some for even longer. They know me and everything that I am capable of. They didn't join my legion because I was Zeref's heir. They joined me because I was Zeref's heir. If it had been anyone else, they wouldn't have joined. They believe in what I can do. For a long time, I didn't believe, and sometimes I still don't. But over the past few months, I've learned what I am truly capable of, and what I want from life thanks to them." I looked over at them and saw that Wendy was crying slightly. Levy's hand squeezed mine tighter and I realized that Gajeel had glanced over to us, his eyes shifting from mine to hers.

"You keep saying that you were Zeref's heir and that is confusing me. Aren't you still?" Natsu's eyes narrowed and he looked straight at Zeref who was now looking back at him. The electric tension between the two men was almost visual as I could almost see sparks flying between their gazes.

"No. not anymore. But, because of my heritage, I suppose I am still blood heir. No, Zeref rejected my adoption papers quite recently, actually. I am no longer heir to the Dragon Slayer Gang. No, that position now falls to the First Advisor, Mard Geer." Natsu raised his hand and pointed at a man sitting right next to Zeref. I'd seen him before, but I couldn't remember where. He had long, thick black hair that was pulled into a half ponytail behind him. He looked almost even more terrifying than Zeref. Almost.

"How did that occur?"

Natsu's eyes narrowed and he looked away, before looking back up and taking a deep breath. I felt my cheeks turning crimson as Natsu's yellow eyes flickered to mine for a split-second.

"I started acting out. I was messing up my missions and screwing up deals. Most of them were on accident, but later they stopped being mistakes. I started going bluntly against his orders and defying his authority. Finally, he told me I needed to choose. I needed to decide if I really wanted to become gang lord. And I decided that I didn't. I rejected the title and in turn, he rejected me as his son."

"Why did you turn on him?"

Natsu took a breath and glanced up at me. His cheeks tinged pink and I could feel my heart pound. This was it, this was when he revealed it to the world.

"I met a girl." He said simply, ducking his head in shame. I heard a chuckle, coming from the man known as Mard Geer. The room was dead silent except for his chuckle and Gildarts placed his hands behind his back, waiting for Natsu to explain.

"About two months ago, I went to a slave auction with my father. I normally never takes slaves, but this time I was intrigued. I picked a slave. She was stubborn and defiant and everything unwanted in a slave and yet I kept her. She fought me and argued with me and never made it easy for me to keep her out of harm. At first, I didn't care. I wanted to leave her to the dogs, but something stopped me. She was strong willed and free. She didn't belong in chains and yet that's exactly where I put her. I hurt her again and again and then sometime, I'd save her.

"But in turn, she saved me. She showed me what it could be like to care for others and to fight for yourself. For so long, I'd tried to win my battles through offense. She taught me to step back and play defense. She taught me how to care again, how to show compassion… how to love…" He trailed off, looking away. His eyes were moist and I felt my own eyes watering. Hearing him talk about me like that was something I never thought I'd see. I wanted to run to him. I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him like he deserved.

"Who was this girl?"

Natsu looked up and his gaze connected with mine, sending a smooth jolt down my spine. "Lucy Heartfilia." All eyes turned to me and I felt my cheeks turn crimson.

"You love this girl?" Gildarts asked. That wasn't an objective question, and I was expecting the defense attorney to object, but he didn't. Everyone was staring at the two of us, even though we were in our own world. It was almost like we were back in Natsu's room and he was holding my hand, smirking at me, the way he had when he'd kissed me for the first time.

"Yes." He said briefly, causing my whole body to shudder. The one word send my body into a frenzy and suddenly felt restless. I needed to get out of there. I needed to run away. This was a private moment that everyone was sharing and I didn't like it.

"No more questions." Natsu looked away as he was escorted back to his seat.

My hand was numb from squeezing so hard and my chest ached. Levy tried to whisper soothing words, but I couldn't hear her. All I could see was red.

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