Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just playing.

Many, many thanks to RandomCran for her fantastic Beta skills. You are very much appreciated and loved. Please check last chapter's rec's for a link to her new fic – Restless - now 4 chapters in. It's great! And check her hubby's fic's out as well – Morgan Locklear.

"What?"

Didn't he know that this was going to totally change everything? EVERYTHING!

I suddenly started gasping for air again. The doctor grabbed the paper bag, which was left on the coffee table from the previous episode. This was happening far too often.

"I happen to have a sample bottle with me. Why don't you go to the bathroom and fill it?" Again, he spoke matter-of-factly.

I was stunned. This couldn't really be happening, could it? Not again. I tried not to panic. To wait until there was a reason to panic. Why waste all that panic on a maybe?

The doctor left with the results of my life in his bag.

Once at home, thoroughly exhausted, I went right back to bed.

Edward returned early that day and found me sleeping in the early evening.

"Baby, what's happening? Are you sick? What did the doctor say?" He was beginning to panic himself now, not understanding my withdrawal.

"He'll call later, I think. Just tired. Sorry, didn't know you'd be back so soon." I buried my face into the pillow, facing away from him.

He left me alone, sensing it would do no good to keep badgering me with questions. He could tell I was keeping something from him. I began to cry into my pillow.

I had to stop. It was agony waiting for the results of the test. It could make the difference between going through with the wedding or not. I wasn't brave enough to face the scrutiny. This made me cry again. Then Edward walked in silently, stopping halfway inside the door. He watched as I sobbed.

"Tracy, what the hell did the doctor say? Please tell me. I deserve to know, don't I?"

"No, you don't deserve this," I answered and began sobbing anew.

He stood there and I could see him trying to think about possible reasons for my actions. I think he must have figured it out, because I heard a gasp as he staggered and fell back into the easy chair beside him.

"Oh, no…Tracy. Do you think…? Oh…" He was floored. The colour had drained from his face.

I couldn't respond. I didn't want to make it any more of a real possibility than it already was. I just shook my head, praying he wouldn't say any more. I pleaded with my eyes for him not to go there. I put my finger to my lips, shaking my head.

Edward finally came over to hold me. He rubbed my back gently.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" It was all I could to say to him.

X~X

I had somehow fallen asleep again. Edward was lying beside me, holding me in his warm embrace. When I woke, I slowly turned onto my back. He relaxed his hold on me slightly. He was awake. I couldn't look at him yet. He stroked my face with his fingers. I kissed his fingertips as they passed over my lips. Then I finally lifted my eyes to his. Edward had a gentle smile on his face, his eyes full of love. He pressed his lips to mine. I almost felt like crying again, but I had nothing left inside.

"It'll be okay, love, it really will. Don't worry." He was consoling me.

Just then my cell phone buzzed. Panic rose up into my throat. I couldn't answer it. Edward took the phone from my hands.

"Hello. Yes, hello, Doctor. Yes, she's here right beside me, but she can't talk right now… yes… uh huh… thank you. We'll come to the office tomorrow, then. Good-bye."

"What?" I asked with a crackly voice.

"He was calling with the test results. They're… positive. Don't panic. We'll go see him tomorrow."

"Don't panic? How is that even possible? Edward… I don't know if I can do this again." I was panicking - big time.

"Tracy, stop. We'll talk to the doctor and I'm sure there are tests he can do to prevent anything bad from happening this time. We'll be prepared."

He was so unusually calm that it was helping to settle me down. How was he doing that? How would we prepare? What exactly did he mean by that? Was he hoping that I'd carry this baby to term? Of course he was. He'd said before, that it was the only other thing in the world he wanted, besides me. Oh. That thought just paralyzed me to my core.

"I'm scared." It was all I could say and it summed up all my anxieties. I couldn't even think beyond that. I couldn't think of the possibility of actually being pregnant for nine months and actually giving birth to a baby. That was too far down the road to think about. The fear was too intense.

"Me too, babe. Me too. You will not be alone. I won't allow that to happen again. Please know that. Don't keep anything from me again. Okay?" Edward was holding my head up with his fingers, facing each other, to make sure I was really listening to his vows.

"Okay, I will. I know you know me and the thoughts in my head right now. I do trust you with my life."

"If you feel too anxious the doctor said you're allowed to take the medication again tonight. But let's go for a walk on the beach first. Maybe that'll calm you down."

"Okay, I'll try." My knees were feeling a little wobbly when I got up. Edward was right beside me and helped me steady myself. I grabbed a sweater and slipped into my flats. He made sure to give me support on the way down the steps, too.

The walk was a good idea. The fresh air cleared my head. Just looking at the water and the moon and the stars was so peaceful; it all diluted the angst inside of me.

When we returned home, we sat on the sofa. I curled into him and watched the flames dancing around the logs. Edward put on some relaxing music and sang into my ear softly.

It was heaven on earth. I was happy. Everything would turn out fine. Edward would take care of me and I would never be alone again. I knew that I could return his promise by giving him the gift that his heart desired. A baby - God willing.

I could not sleep that night, my mind racing with the what if's, should have's, and the maybe's. I was uncoordinated in the morning as I tried to get ready for the doctor's appointment. My brain wouldn't work right, and I jabbed myself with my toothbrush and made my gums bleed. I couldn't get my hair into any decent shape either.

Edward tried to ease my anxiety by kissing me, which only worked while he was kissing me. If only we could kiss non-stop until we got there. Maybe we could? After all he didn't need to drive, Jasper could. Despite my nervousness, I liked that idea and when I suggested it, he was all for it, too. He'd make the sacrifice if it would help me. Funny guy.

"Relax, okay… I'm trying, I'm trying. Let's go then." I really was trying; trying to be casual. Just going to my doctor, with my very young fiancé, pregnant with our baby… Or, was I going to have the worst day of my life, doctor lowering the boom on my pregnancy, fiancé leaving me? I didn't want to go, afraid of what the verdict was going to be. Maybe it would be too dangerous for me to proceed with it, or maybe I'd have to undergo surgery.

If Edward had not been with me, holding me firmly with his arm around my shoulders, I might have bolted out of the clinic. Once inside the doctor's office, I became increasingly edgy and twitchy. Edward held my hand and rubbed the back of it soothingly with his thumb.

The doctor finally came in and my heart jumped to my throat. He flipped open my file. I couldn't tell by his face what he was thinking. I looked at Edward, who suddenly looked very nervous. He tried to smile at me, but it ended up being a half-hearted attempt. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. He squeezed my hand and continued to hold it tightly.

"All right, you two. I wanted to discuss strategy regarding this pregnancy with you from the start. I don't want to wait at all to do the proper tests. Due to your history of ectopic pregnancy, we'll do an ultrasound to check things out first. Then once we know the results, we'll talk about what will come next. I don't really want to get into too much regarding the what if's. Just one question I have for you which is of importance. Would you be considering abortion if it is not an ectopic?"

The question was like a bombshell. I wasn't sure if I'd really been thinking in that direction before this moment and I certainly didn't know if Edward was either. We couldn't look at each other in that instant, not wanting to see what expression the other had on their face. The doctor took in our faces and sighed. He wrote something down in my file then looked up at us, waiting.

I finally looked at Edward. I had never seen his face in such a distorted expression before. It looked pained and scared at the same time. I squeezed his hand, so that he would look at me. He did, but slowly, anguish in his eyes. Instinct told me that he had never even considered that thought.

"No, doctor, we will not consider abortion," I answered confidently for both of us, keeping my gaze on Edward. I squeezed his hand again. I was smiling. He squeezed my hand back and then he took his other hand and wrapped it around both of ours.

"Ok. Then we'll do the ultrasound right now. Come back here to my office after." The doctor walked out, leaving us stunned and alone in his office.

Edward stood and pulled me up, wrapping his arms around my waist so tightly I could hardly breathe. I felt safe. There was still a hurdle to jump over – the ultrasound. We walked out of the office to the secretary's desk and she gave us the form to take to the ultrasound technician on the second floor, Room 202, where they'd be waiting for us. We walked slowly hand in hand, still numb.

The test took only ten minutes and the technician didn't want to reveal too much, but she said there was no ectopic that she could see. It was way too early to actually see the fetus in the womb with any clarity. The doctor confirmed her diagnosis when we returned to his office. He wanted to monitor me every week for a while, just to make sure I was physically up to this pregnancy. He said he wanted to be extra vigilant and catch any problem at the onset and deal with it quickly. And that was the end of our appointment. Edward thanked him and shook his hand. I could tell there was relief in his voice.

We got into the car and Jasper started driving. I suddenly started shaking and it sounded like there was a freight train in my ears. I was having a panic attack.

Oh god! Not here! Please!

Edward just put his arms around me and rubbed my back.

"It's all right, babe. It's all right. I'll take care of you. I love you." He didn't freak out or anything. He could handle it. I had underestimated him all along. He had such strength; enough for both of us. I just buried my head into his neck and silently cried. We stayed in that embrace for the entire ride home.

I went to lie down on the sofa and turned the TV on. I didn't even change the channel, not caring what I was absently staring at. We seemed to watch the TV like that a lot lately.

Edward came to sit at my feet, which I then put on his lap, and turned his attention briefly to his iPhone. He was done with that quickly and turned to me. He rubbed my legs and feet, which took some of the tension away. I was calming down.

I think we both felt sort of lost. We didn't know what we should do next. Edward looked at his iPhone and said it was time for lunch. He wondered if we should order something in, or have some fruit and cheese with crackers. That'd be fine, I answered. I got up with him to help. I couldn't just sit there, doing nothing. We took our platter out onto the deck, out of routine in silence. We ate in silence as well. I hesitated looking over to him. I hadn't thought of the correct thing to say yet. I guess he felt the same way because he said nothing.

I coughed after a little bit of water went down the wrong way.

"Are you okay?" Edward sputtered, clearly panicking. He jumped to my side, patting my back.

"Relax, I'm fine. Just something went down the wrong way. I'll be okay, really. I guess we should talk, Edward." I coughed again in an attempt to further clear my throat. Then I sat back in my chair, crossed my legs and then my arms. I gazed at him as he slowly calmed himself.

He wasn't smiling. "I'm calm. I don't know what to say. Are you sure you want to do this? It's your decision. I know you know your capabilities, I will trust them. Can your nerves handle the strain?"

"I know what to expect and that helps, I guess. I'm usually pretty attuned to my body, so I'll feel it if something is too much. I guess the wedding will be a lot of pressure. Thank goodness your mother has already done most of the hard preparations. When my sisters and Amy come, they'll be able to pick up any slack. I'm not going to regret this decision, Edward. I want you to be happy."

I dropped my eyes down to my hand wrapped in Edward's capable one and smiled, lifting my gaze up to meet his. He lifted our hands up to press his lips onto the back of my hand. He closed his eyes, as his lips lingered a few moments and then slowly opened them, tears welling up. I couldn't help myself and got up to sit on his lap, ready to wipe any escaped tears. I placed a kiss on the top of his head and tousled his thick curls.

I hoped our baby would have his hair, his eyes, his mouth… everything, the same. He would be the most beautiful baby.

A/N: We are in the home stretch, people… the end is nigh.

Please…the Drill!

Psst… it's safe… I won't bite you.