UNTOUCHED

A story by Anette S

Author's note: I really owe a world of gratitude to my Beta Chris. :) She always makes this so much better! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Jo is the boss here; I, a faithful subject, am here only to entertain you.

Chapter 35

The Unsinkable Molly

"What are your plans for the day?" he asked, as they were finishing breakfast.

"I think I'll go to the market and then stop by the bakery to get a cake for tea. I believe Molly and Arthur are coming this afternoon for a visit," she said, smiling at his bewildered expression.

"I completely forgot," he admitted, flabbergasted.

She laughed. "What, the fact that you could forget something shocks you to silence?"

"Yes, honestly. It never happened to me before," he said, shaking his head.

"I think it's a good thing. Your mind has finally accepted that it's not in mortal peril; it's giving you subtle clues to relax."

He couldn't accept it as gracefully as she. "Perhaps I'm getting old, and you'll soon be having breakfast with a demented old wizard in purple pyjamas," he said, the image of Dumbledore popping into his mind uninvited.

"When you're old and demented, I'll change all your pyjamas into red and gold, and you won't even know why," she played with his idea, making him growl in disapproval.

"Wicked witch," he grumbled, and finished his toast.

It hadn't escaped their attention that they were discussing the details of their life many years in the future—and that they were a part of each other's future in that vision of a distant time. They chose to remain silent regarding that observation, both knowing what it meant.

She sent him off to work with a smile and a kiss like a dutiful little wife, and knew it would not be long before he asked her. They suited each other, their life together had fallen into a comfortable routine, and the respect and love they shared for each other was slowly becoming a thing of legend... much as that angered both of them. Today's Prophet, currently lying discarded in the corner next to the rubbish bin, was quick to cover their visit to Hogwarts with the lavish headline:

THE HEROES RETURN

Hermione Granger and Severus Snape, the wizarding world's most famous couple,
visit Hogwarts

She fished it out from its banishment and poured herself a second cup of coffee, opening the paper. The article that followed this bombast tentatively sang their praises, the editorial staff being much more inclined to write the truth about them nowadays. It described them as "well suited, quite obviously in love and eliciting respect with each step." Well, they got that right, she smiled. The article went on about Severus being "every witch's dark hero". She shook her head. No wonder he threw away the paper before she could even read it properly.

"...The unexpected romance won over even the most doubting of hearts." Apparently Mathilda, a 7th year Ravenclaw, described them as 'incredibly in tune and made for each other'. Hermione chuckled. The only thing this article lacked was an unnamed source at the Ministry claiming they'd secretly married. Oh, wait... there it was. Well, you could always count on the Prophet to deliver some entertaining fiction.

She got dressed and spent her morning as planned, enjoying the pleasures of their ever-growing personal library until the clock chimed twice When the Weasleys came later that afternoon, more laughter was shared at the expense of today's dribble from the Prophet.

Although the young witch enjoyed their time together with their guests, what she really hoped for was a heart-to-heart with Molly. There were some things she'd recently found out, courtesy of the Amortentia fiasco, and she was intensely curious to know more of Severus' and Molly's relationship. Despite her lover's private nature, Hermione was aware this was a connection equally as precious as the one had with Minerva, although probably different in nature, given their closeness in age.

The opportunity offered itself when Severus and Arthur left them to go inspect the magic modifications Severus had made to the house to render it television and internet-friendly. Arthur was, expectedly, enthusiastic about it, and Hermione beamed to find herself alone with Molly and a nice pot of tea to keep them company.

"Oh, it is such a joy to spend time with you two," Molly said with a smile. "The boy is looking younger every time I see him," she added, obviously talking about Severus.

"He would disagree. Only this morning we had a heated discussion about senility and purple pyjamas," Hermione answered, chuckling.

They shared an unexpected camaraderie with the Weasley couple. Taking into consideration that Severus was almost twenty years Hermione's senior, paired with her own inclination to behave older than her years, it was well-suited company every time they met.

"Severus? Purple pyjamas?" Molly shook her head. "Not the Severus I know. I'm sure he'd refuse to wear them, even in dementia!"

Hermione placed her cup on the coffee table, noticing a slight opening in the conversation. Molly smiled knowingly. After all, she'd known this girl since she was eleven.

"Molly," Hermione started "I..." she paused, unsure how to approach this without seeming intrusive.

"Ask your questions. I can see you are as curious as can be... without bursting at the seams," she said without reproach.

Hermione lowered her eyes, a pink tinge in her cheeks. "I am not trying to be nosy, but I wonder how close you are with Severus. I wasn't aware of it, before."

"You could not have been. He made sure to protect me and my family by never disclosing our friendship," the older witch spoke lovingly. "I suppose Severus told you about it," she commented, to which Hermione nodded.

"It makes me very happy to know that he was not as alone as I thought he was in his younger years," Hermione said softly, the love for the man obvious in her voice.

Molly sighed. "He was a very peculiar boy. Talented, and so powerful, but sadly unaware of his power until it was turned against him."

A long silence followed. Molly placed her cup next to Hermione's and turned to face the young woman she'd once thought of as a daughter, and recently begun to accept as a friend.

"Hermione, in many ways he is still that peculiar boy I met when he was fourteen. I am very protective of him, although I don't show it. I see him with you now and hope that he's finally found his match. I believe so," she added with a soft smile.

"You are very protective of him."

Molly smiled. "Everyone who's had the privilege of seeing Severus's true face is fiercely protective of him. You are, too."

Hermione blushed, lowering her eyes. "I love him."

"I am most happy to hear that. And it makes me even happier to witness you coming into your own with him by your side."

Hermione sighed. "I..." Steeling herself, she continued. "I have no one to talk to about our relationship, really. I mean, I do have Dora, but not in a way I would hope to," she said, her voice frail.

Molly gave her a loving smile, understanding her unspoken request. She took her hands in hers and spoke gently. "Darling girl, although you have been made aware of my friendship with Severus, I don't want you to think it changes our relationship in any way. I will always consider you one of my own children."

Both women had tears threatening to spill from their eyes at this welcome reminder that things had not changed, at least in that aspect.

"I know you had different ideas about me... before everything happened," Hermione said, alluding to her budding relationship with Ron before the end of the war.

Molly was quick to reassure her. "Hermione, listen to me. We all had different ideas about everything before this bloody war happened. After it was over, we were all lucky to have come out of it alive. War is a nasty business. It changes people in many ways and on many levels. To delude oneself that everything could continue as it was before would be quite childish."

Hermione wiped her eyes, the tears having escaped by now. "It makes me happy to know you think that," she spoke softly. "Because I really need a mother, and I've needed her for a long time. My own mother is lost to me, although she lives and breathes..." she choked on her words, remembering her parents' obliviation.

Molly pulled the girl into her arms. "What you did for them was an incredible act of bravery. It saved their lives." She tilted up Hermione's chin, and looked reassuringly into her eyes. "And although they don't know that in this world there is an incredible young woman who tore her heart to pieces to save them, they most surely feel your love. You loved them so much as to kill a part of yourself so that they could live—and I should be honoured to step into your mother's role, whenever you need one. Never doubt that," she added, as Hermione sniffled into her shoulder.

"Thank you," Hermione murmured, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. She'd long ago made peace with the obliviation of her parents, but the memory of that precise moment would always hurt. "There is so much going on in my life right now, with Severus and everything else, and I do feel lost most of the time," she admitted.

"You are handling everything remarkably well," Molly said, caressing her hair soothingly.

"I am trying to live, and to figure out how to live now, like this," the younger woman said, not needing to elaborate.

"Aaand... how do you feel?" Molly asked cautiously.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders. "I am well most of the time. My strength varies from day to day, but it is coming back. I am able to live a comfortable muggle life, thanks to Severus and Bill. Do you know, they installed protection charms that activate around me whenever I leave the house?" she asked rhetorically, a fond smile stretching her lips.

"I didn't. It's incredibly thoughtful of him," Molly commented.

"He fusses sometimes around me, you know. Worries too much and mollycoddles me..." she paused, and the two giggled quietly over the use of molly. "...whenever I have a bad day, but I don't really mind. I am so lucky to have found him." Her voice shook.

"I am sure he would say the same," Molly assured her.

"We'll probably marry soon... I mean, it's heading that way, and I fear that..." Hermione trailed off, not sure whether this was the right time and place to broach the subject.

Sensing where this was going, Molly in a flash cast a spell. "They are still in the library, and I've put up a privacy shield. They can't overhear us," she whispered, satisfied to notice Hermione relax somewhat.

The younger woman lifted her eyes and looked at Molly. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable with this conversation..." she began cautiously.

Molly laughed. "HO, boy. Dear girl, I've had seven children. There's nothing you could say that would make me uncomfortable."

Hermione's eyebrows jumped. "Oh, I don't mean... well, that is..." Squeezing shut her eyes, she took a deep breath. "It's just that I fear I would always carry a shadow with me, and I don't want to do that to him. He deserves a woman who can be his completely.

"And you fear you could not be? Have you already..." she hesitated, and Hermione, understanding, blushed a little despite herself.

"No. Not yet, anyway," she admitted. "And that's what I fear. What if I am never able to relax completely with him? I know he would never hurt me, and I know the love we feel for each other is strong, but there is still the fear, and... I can't shake it." Her sigh spoke of her profound frustration.

"Hermione, when a couple is committed to each other, then it is never a question of will it be, but of when it will be. Making love to the man you love and trust is something very precious. It is healing, on many levels. Looking at you both, I'm confident you will be able to reach that. You have been down a tremendous road, and your recovery is nothing short of a miracle. But remember: His recovery is equally miraculous. I look at you now, today, and it is hard not to weep with joy. I've known both of you for a long time, and I could not have believed it if someone had told me before that you two would be each other's happy ending. But you are—and it's a wonderful sight to behold."

"He has healed me. More than anything, it was him. We are trying to... do things, and it's been a tug-of-war sometimes, but we are trying."

Molly grinned at the metaphor. "That is important. The connection of the bodies while making love is its own kind of magic, with its inherent powers that come along to be harvested when one knows to recognize them."

"I have not heard of it before, not like this."

"You couldn't have. The muggles have forgotten the ancient sources of power, but we are still honing the knowledge. It is why everyone was so particularly devastated at your abuse, and sadly, the very reason those creatures chose rape as a tool to break you."

"How do you mean that?"

"Although horrendous in itself, it was the sacrilege of the ancient powers that come with passion and deep physical love that was the worst part of the abuse you suffered." Molly looked at her resolutely. "Know that, with every loving touch and tenderness you exchange with the man you love, you are not only chasing away the memories of the past, but gaining back the means to accept the powers that will come forth when you make love. You are a witch, and the powers will be shown to you, regardless of your loss of ability to activate your magic."

"What are those powers?"

Molly's smile was a knowing one. "They vary—from stronger intuition to clearer legilimency and overall increase of your magic. There is also the deepening of connection between the couple; the transformation of their mutual magic."

Hermione sighed. "I'm just not sure any of that would apply to me anymore. And I don't care, really. I just want to be as close to him as any woman could be to the man she loves."

"In time, your body will be confident enough and will trust the other body giving you pleasure enough to let go. Then you will be free to accept your lover into your body, but know that you are already on the way there. I am sure of it," she said.

Hermione was surprised. "How can you be so sure?" She knew better than to think Severus had shared anything of their private life with anyone else.

"I have eyes, and they see a couple well on their way to claiming each other completely. Heart, body, and soul. It is yet another thing turned into a cliché within the muggle culture, but we take it very seriously. Remember: heart, body, and soul. One cannot claim any part of it from another witch or wizard if it's not given freely, but you've already given him all of your heart, as well as all of the soul you have at your disposal to give, and I guess quite a lot of your body." Her lips quirked. "I should probably be right if I said the same for him."

Hermione blushed a deep crimson. "You would be right."

Molly smiled, tipping the girl's face up again. "Never be ashamed of it. You are a woman, not a silly little girl biting off more than she can chew. It is honourable to feel as you feel... and to love as you love."

"But I'm..." Hermione broke off, her voice sounding insecure again. "...I was hurt, and I cannot erase that. I will always know that there were men I didn't want, and they already did to me every imaginable thing—things I might even desire, had they not been forced upon me by... I'll know those men had me first..."

"You are wrong. Those creatures were not men; they don't deserve the title. Their acts were not the same acts, as you said yourself, although they bear the physical similarity. You never asked to be treated like that. They used acts designed by nature to make you feel loved, desired, wanted and treasured—but turned them into weapons. But they aren't inherently weapons, Hermione, for it is only the intention that makes them thus. You know that your lover would never use an act as sacred as making love as a weapon against you."

"I do know that..." Hermione said ruminatively.

"Then it is only a matter of time, and a healthy dose of loving attention in the bedroom, until your body realizes that as well."

Hermione's smile was broad through her tears. "I never thought I could have a conversation about it with anyone. I've never spoken about it before. Thank you for reassuring me, Molly. I do hope you are right."

Molly hugged the younger woman warmly. "I am! You will see."

Hermione stood up, taking the teapot into her hands. "You can lower the wards, and send Severus the patronus that it's OK to return now. They've given us a lot of time alone. They deserve a reward for their patience."

She lifted the teapot, as well as an eyebrow, at Molly's shocked expression. "I believe we need more tea," she said by way of explanation, "and seriously, did you think I didn't realize you'd told him to leave us alone a while back, when you put those wards up? They didn't call me the brightest witch of my age for nothing, y'know."

Molly laughed, shaking her head incredulously. She should have known. She proceeded to lower the wards, and then laughed even harder. It was invitation enough for their men to rejoin them. All would be well—she was sure of it.