M for MATURE!
We held ourselves up in that cave until the dawn came, and then she slept peacefully in my arms while we waited for the blinding sun to leave. When she had brought up if I felt the same love for her, I felt I couldn't answer. Something in me told me to lie. To tell her it just to please her so I could go back to pleasing myself.
I didn't answer, preferring to shower her in soft kisses until she begged me to stop. But, in that begging, there was no real plead. I could read her movements, and I knew she wanted it worse than me.
Which was saying a great deal.
Thus, I knew she took my kisses as a 'yes', and I didn't have to lie to her. I couldn't bring myself to do that, not right after she just confessed.
And certainly not after I discovered this new pleasure.
With Rema, the week passed by quickly, and I couldn't but feel more and more curious about this divine sin I had discovered.
I could feel my blood start to boil as I lifted myself up the bar again, raising my chin high above the metal pole before lowering myself back down, only to repeat the process. I thought not of Rema, or Naki, or even keeping my training a secret anymore, as that would be pointless; everyone knew I was out for Syuki. Instead of these distracting thoughts of people, I focused in on my strategies.
How to conquer a country in hours. How to break a man in seconds.
How to bring a dying country under my grasp in the limited sources I was given.
And limited sources didn't even begin to describe just how crippled our small country of shadows had become. The fish had stopped biting. Period. Without the meat from the fish, the men were getting weak. There was nobody to harvest the crops, and winter was fast approaching. Our people were starting to hunt: and this was new for us. Never had we been pushed to the limit of staying out past dawn. Never.
There were some reports of blindness from the sun, and others chose to wrap themselves in garbs similar to that which the women were for their annual trip in order to stay out all day hunting. But these trips were trivial at best: even our most skilled with a pike in the water could hardly bring back any amount of meat- and rarely did they dabble in the accounts of berries and the like.
We were creatures of the darkness, born and bred to be. To be in the sun is not of our nature- it weakens us greatly.
A knock on the door interrupted me halfway through my assessment of just how long we could go on like this.
"Enter." I grit, pulling myself up one last time before dropping myself to the floor. Rolling my shoulders back in their sockets, a satisfying pop sounded throughout the room as the door opened in the slightest.
"Dinner will be soon, m'lady." A servant spoke, head bowed as he faced through the crack of the door.
"I'll be right there." Another set of cracks came from my neck, and with a content sigh, I headed over to the rack in which I kept a few towels and a bowl of water. A small mirror hung from the wall, held up by a recent human development we traded for: a nail. The sound of a shutting door let me note that the servant had gone, and I was left to wash up in peace.
With a few small tugs, my filthy clothes were dropped to the floor, and as I mentally planned out what to wear to dinner, I splashed myself in the face a few times with the water. I sighed in irritation as I spotted my reflection in the mirror.
I, like everyone else, appeared more gaunt than usual. We had all lost weight, and as I sat at the table in my small orange kimono, the reason was apparent. Even we, as the head family of the compound, and the rulers of this small country, had little to eat.
In fact, I'm pretty sure the servants have begun taking turns on skipping meals to feed us.
And the result of such niceties?
A five by two centimeter piece of fish in our stomach with a half a bowl of rice each. Leader didn't get much better.
In fact, the one who ate the best out of us was Naki, if it was any shock.
It was found out a week or so after the trip that she had become pregnant shortly before my first blood. That explained her depression from before my blood perfectly: it was irrational to have a child of your own when you are raising the Clan Leader's daughter.
The baby was an accident, and that much was apparent. Yet after I had become a woman and had started to take care of my own things, it was much more acceptable to have a child. Every time Tak looked at her he seemed to start glowing with pride.
It almost reached disgusting on my scale of nauseating things in the world.
"Would you like to go to the market with me tomorrow, Ryo-sama?" Spoke up the subject of my thoughts. I looked to Naki, politely placing down my chopsticks before speaking.
"I would be happy to, Naki." She smiled at me, going back to her meal, and I followed suit.
"Oi! Rema-chan!" A familiar voice called out above the usual rush in the market. I turned my head, shifting Naki's basket to the other arm to catch sight of whoever was yelling. My eyes soon locked on the only running figure in the street.
It was none other than Matsukune. I followed his eyes, tracing them back to a frail looking girl leaning on a wall a little ways off: out of the flow of traffic on the street. A frown tugged on my face, that was, without a doubt, Rema.
She had lost some serious weight. The girl looked to be malnourished, on the brink of starvation. Hollow cheeks and bags beneath her eyes shadowed the natural light of her features. The only thing about her that had not shrunk was her breasts, and they appeared to be fuller and larger, even out of comparison with her scrawny body.
"Matsukune-kun." She greeted, pushing off the wall a bit as he stopped in front of her. He smiled, something of a blush coming to his face before he pushed it away and held out his hand. In it lay a small rabbit, nothing more than a baby when it was killed. Its brown fur caught Rema off guard, and with a gasp she stared at the deceased creature. "Matsukune-kun! You shouldn't! Take that back to your family!" She whispered in a harsh voice, pushing his hand away.
His grin fell, and he shook his head, "We all know how difficult it is on your family ever since Dile gave birth, and we wanted to help out. I caught this myself- nobody's going to object if it's your family that get's to eat it."
I blinked; eyes wide. No wonder Rema was so skinny- she was probably giving her meals to her mother. On top of that, she was probably helping with the breast feeding, if it was any indication to her chest size. I couldn't help the small frown tug upon my face.
"Ryo-sama? Is something the matter?" Naki's voice brought me back to the market, and the scene between Matsukune and Rema was once again hidden from the world by the crowds.
"Nothing, Naki." I answered, turning to face her. She paused, hesitant to except my answer, but eventually she just nodded. A forced smile made its way to her face.
"Then let's go ahead and get back to the main house, okay? All of this walking around is starting to hurt me." She looked away from me, placing a few coins on the wooden counter of the stall, and the woman behind the counter pulled out the handmade blanket they had been bartering over and traded it off for the money. Wordlessly, I took the folded blanket and pressed it into the basket so Naki wouldn't have to carry it. She nodded her thanks, and we set off back to the main house.
I swallowed, looking at the diminished meal in front of me. Rema's hollowed face played upon it, haunting me with its deathly look. I pushed my eyes shut- squinting them as to get the image out of my head; I reached for the chopsticks. As I opened my eyes, I hastily snatched up a small bite of my rice and shoved it down my throat, determined to get something eaten as to not disrespect the chef. My lips curled as I gulped it down- it was practically sour to the taste.
"Dayborn." My attention was drawn to Leader, who seemed to be the only one to notice my discontent. When we locked eyes, he glanced at the food before looking back at me with a questioning, but still degrading, look. "Are you not grateful for your meal?"
"I am, sir." Came my immediate response. Our conversation had drawn the eyes of everyone at the table, and the chef who sat in the corner grew both hesitant and condemning. My eyes flowed back to my meal, and I lifted my chopsticks, intent on taking a bite of the tiny piece of fish that lay on the plate.
The chopsticks waivered in there course just above the meat.
I swallowed, mouth going dry as the image of Rema and her family played through my mind again. They had to be starving. Without a doubt, they had all gone too long without a meal. I could see Dile, attempting to nurse a deformed newborn that cried because it didn't know that the pains in its stomach were something everyone in the house was experiencing.
The chopsticks were set down on the table as I folded my hands in my lap, attempting to still them from the jitters they were getting.
"Dayborn." Came leader's warning. His eyes were still upon me.
"Don't bother with her, father. She doesn't know any better, as a dayborn and all." Syuki commented, jabbing at me with a calm look on his face. He hadn't put his chopsticks down while talking, I noticed with a bitter distaste. His hypocrisy was idiotic.
"I am sure that if ya aren't hungry, Ryo, Naki would appreciate the extra food." Tak suggested, turning his own anger into an attempt to help his mate. Naki sent a grateful smile to him, but turned to look back at me with a questioning gaze: she was more concerned for me than actually hopeful for the food.
"Sorry, Naki." I apologized in advance for letting her down. She'd be disgraced at was I was about to do, no doubt. Just as she was about to question, I grabbed my plate and stood, heading for the door.
A gasp echoed throughout the room as everyone, save leader, sat in a state of shock. I reached the door just as the emotion had ran its cycle, and tossed it open, about to head out.
"You will sit down if you wish to remain a part of this house, dayborn." Leader's deep voice cut through the air like a blow to the chest. For a second I was torn.
Continue to live here, let Rema and her family starve, allow this cycle of starvation run its course throughout our country while being guaranteed meals and wait for the right time to take over the throne; or feed Rema and her family, potentially be kicked out of the house, and find an alternative way to take the throne.
The house waited as I debated on what to say for my answer. Silence engulfed the room, suffocating everyone inside it.
The door slammed behind me as I made my mind up.
PHEW! There it is y'all :D I'm so relieved they could get my memory, aren't you? I, quite literally, screamed and jumped for joy xD
Thank you sooo much for sticking with the story after this mess, my dear, beloved readers! Everyday I asked whether or not they could do anything and I got an 'I don't know' it killed me :/ But at least its back up and running! Updates will continue every Wednesday, just like this whole thing never happened! Even better, since now Guard season is over and I can get back to writing :]
Also, just to make sure you guys don't throw a fit or nothin, Rema isn't the one for Ryo ;) I think most of you have figured it out already, smarties :P Hahaha, be expecting another update Wednesday! Much much love huns!
Please Review! See you Wednesday!