Title: Bonne Foi

Author: Amethyst Jackson

Category: Drama, Romance

Rating: M

Summary: AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.

Disclaimer: A writer is like a goddess in her universe…but only one writer is making the money off Twilight, and that's Stephenie Meyer. These are her characters, and I'm just having fun with them.

Chapter Thirty-Six

"Can we stop at the police station?" Bella asked when we passed the Forks city limits. "I need to say goodbye to my dad."

I glanced over to her ashen face and felt, as I had since yesterday, completely helpless. "Of course."

There were only police vehicles in the parking lot when we pulled in.

"Let me help you inside," I said, eyeing the steps. There was a ramp, but it was around the side of the building.

Bella nodded, and we got out of the car. Inside the police station, things were quiet. A desk jockey glanced up at us, gave Bella a smile of recognition, and went back to the crossword puzzle he was working.

"I'll wait here," I murmured. This wasn't about me, after all, and as much as I wanted to stay near Bella, my presence would change how Charlie interacted with his daughter.

Bella looked at me for a quiet moment and then clomped her way back to her father's office, where he was, as far as I could tell, signing off on case reports.

"Hi, Dad." It was impossible to see the scene through Charlie's mind, cloudy as it was to me, so I merely listened.

"Bella! That was quite a disappearance you made."

"I know, I'm sorry. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision."

"So I gathered. How is Renee?"

"Fine. Her usual self."

"Good, good." An awkward pause followed. "So what did you come to Forks for? Don't you need to be back at school?"

"Um, yeah," Bella floundered. "But I forgot something at the house. A book I need for class. So Edward drove me out here to get it."

"That's nice of him." Charlie paused, and I heard papers rustling. "He's good to you. I'm glad."

"He really is."

Another pause. "Heading back then?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, we need to get going. I just wanted to come and say goodbye."

"All right, then." I heard a chair scrape across the tile floor as Charlie stood. They were hugging, I guessed.

"I love you, Dad," Bella said in a whisper.

"Love you, too, sweetheart," Charlie said gruffly, emotional for reasons he couldn't explain. They separated; Bella's breath hitched. "Tell that boy of yours to be careful driving back."

"Sure, Dad. I'll talk to you soon."

"Take care, Bells."

I heard Bella begin to move, and I crossed the room to meet her, ignoring the glance of the officer in the room and his bland thoughts. When Bella came out of the office, she wore an expression that would seem calm to a casual onlooker, but I could see the tension around her eyes and mouth.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Bella nodded and moved toward the exit, leaving me to follow.

In the car again, I examined her. She wasn't crying, but she looked like she wanted to.

"Is there anything you wanted to get from your house?" I asked. We didn't have much time, and if there were any personal effects she wanted to keep, it was time to get them.

She swallowed hard. "Yes. My photo albums are there. And a quilt my mom made for me."

"We'll stop there, then."

"There are still some things in my dorm room, too. I only had you bring to your apartment the things I needed."

"I'm sure one of the Cullens would be happy to go and get them."

"No, they've done too much already. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter," I insisted. "We all want you to have as few regrets as possible. None of us had any chance to prepare for this life. You're giving them the opportunity to fix that – vicariously, at any rate."

Bella remained in the car while I went inside the house to gather her things. I was surprised she didn't want to go in, but I didn't press the issue. After I gathered the items she requested, plus a few more I thought she might want, we returned to the Cullen home, and I began to consider the task awaiting me. Bella wanted me to be the one to change her, and I knew she believed I could do it. What I wasn't sure of was whether I believed I could do it. Though I had learned to ignore it, the scent of Bella's blood still burned in the back of my throat. The thought of it alone made the ache flare higher. How would I stop myself when confronted with the taste of her?

We reached the end of the long drive. I turned to Bella, who was already watching me.

"Last chance to run away together," I said.

Bella shook her head. "No, I'm not running. Why fight the inevitable? We can run away once I'm a vampire – I'll be able to keep up then."

I smiled at her fondly, sadly, knowing she wanted to be brave for me. "Let's go see what's next, then."

As soon as I opened the car door, the stench of wolf hit me. I helped Bella inside, where the odor only grew stronger.

"Alice wasn't kidding," I complained.

Bella shot me a quizzical glance.

"It reeks of wolf in here," I explained.

"Are they all still around?"

I nodded. "The area is swarming with them. They're on high alert now that they know more vampires are coming to town. They feel duty-bound to protect Forks."

"I'm glad. I know the Volturi aren't coming to hurt anyone in the town, but if they get hungry...someone needs to protect the people."

Carlisle and Esme came into the room then, ready to guide us through the process of changing a human into a vampire.

"Welcome back," Esme said before she embraced us each in turn. "The cottage is ready – we thought you'd want some privacy for this. The rest of the family would like to wish you well before you go, if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't mind," Bella said with a tone that spoke of astonishment, and I knew she still didn't understand that the Cullens already considered her a part of the family.

Slowly they trickled in. To my surprise, Rosalie was the first to approach.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for you, Bella," Rosalie told her, carefully touching her arm. "You deserve better."

Bella shifted her weight awkwardly. "Thank you, Rosalie." Rose turned away, but cast a glare at me. Thisisyourfault.

I ignored her. Bella wanted this, if not in this manner. She needed my help to get through this, not my guilt.

"When you've finished the change, we'll go hunting," Emmett said, stepping forward from behind Rosalie. He enveloped her in a hug, dwarfing her tiny figure, and Bella's eyes went wide at the action. "I'll show you how to bag a grizzly."

"Grizzly. Grizzly as in bear?"

Jasper walked into the room from the kitchen at that moment. "It's not as bad as it sounds," he said. Jasper also hugged Bella, but this was intentional. We could all feel the sense of calm, laced with a hint of excitement, that Jasper sent Bella's way, but she alone seemed oblivious to it.

"I think I'd rather start small," Bella said worriedly, looking between the two vampires.

"Small," Emmett scoffed. "You'll see – it's the big game that's really satisfying."

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Do you really think she's interested, Emmett?"

"Why wouldn't she be?" he asked obliviously. "Grizzlies are the best. The only thing better is polar bear, but I always feel guilty after eating one of those..."

"Okay, enough," Esme interrupted. "You're going to make the poor girl nauseous."

"Are you nauseous, Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Um...getting there," Bella said, glancing to me. "You won't let me eat a polar bear, will you?"

"Never," I chuckled.

"Time to give someone else a turn," Rosalie sighed, and she carted Emmett off to a chair in the corner. By the stairs, Tanya and Jacob were waiting, not touching, but standing in close proximity. They came forward, eerily in tandem.

"I still don't believe it," Bella said to them. "Are you really going to attempt this?"

"Well, the smell will take some getting used to, but he can be quite sweet," Tanya replied. "Not all of us can have your good fortune in love."

"Please," Jacob scoffed. "Bella knows what she's missing out on." He punctuated this statement with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Oh, please, Jake. You're just jealous that I found my vampire first."

Jacob shrugged, giving up the contest. "You sure you want to do this, Bells? The pack will totally take on these Italian leeches for you. Hell, they've been itching for a fight."

Bella shuddered. "No, I don't want anyone else in harm's way because of me. This is what I want."

"If you say so." He seemed skeptical but indisposed to argue with her.

Kate and Irina interrupted the exchange, greeting Bella with bright smiles.

"We're going to have so much fun when you're not breakable anymore," Kate gushed.

"You must go hunting with us. The boys think they're the masters, but they know nothing about the chase," Irina quipped. "That's the best part."

"Are we still talking about food?" Bella asked, picking up on the hint of innuendo in Irina's voice.

The vampire just laughed. "You'll see when you wake up. I have a feeling the first thing on your mind won't be a grizzly bear."

Bella laughed. "I never thought it would be."

The moment of levity ended when Alice came for her turn with Bella. She'd been deliberately hanging back, waiting for the others to finish, knowing she would want to monopolize Bella's attention.

Alice tried to be sedate, but Bella rolled her eyes and waved her over. "Come on and hug me, Alice. I know you want to."

At that, Alice rushed forward and drew Bella into a tight hug. "Everything will be fine. I see a smooth transition for you. You'll be sobeautiful."

"Thanks, Alice."

"And your parents are going to be fine, truly."

"Will the Volturi be satisfied?" Bella asked while she worried at her lip.

"As things are now, yes. I don't know how that will change when they get here. The wolves are hard to see around."

"Okay." Bella didn't look satisfied. She hesitated. "One more thing?"

I saw as soon as Alice did what Bella intended to ask. Alice just smiled. "Yes, Bella, he will."

"Of course I will," I added, amused at her silliness. She wanted to know if I'd find her beautiful as a vampire, and how could I not? The vision Alice had was breathtaking all on its own. The real thing would bowl me over, I was sure.

Bella blushed and looked away. "I suppose it's time, then."

She turned toward the door and found Carlisle blocking her path.

"There's one last thing to attend to first, actually," he chuckled.

Bella looked back at me in confusion, then to Carlisle. "What?"

The doctor simply pointed at her leg, still encased in plaster.

"Oh! That."

"I've got everything set up in the dining room, if you're ready."

Bella snorted. "Are you kidding? I've been ready to get this cast off since you put it on me."

"Well, let's not waste any time," Carlisle said, and he took Bella to the dining room. Alice mentally advised me not to follow. Carlislecanhelpherprepareinwaystherestofuscan't.

I nodded to show I understood. "Am I going to be able to do this, Alice?"

Alice perched herself on the arm of one of the sofas. "Yes. And do you know why?"

I shook my head.

"Because she needs you to be the one to do it. You can't let her down, not now."

But what if I couldn't help letting her down?

Alice huffed. "Enough, Edward. You will stop. I love her too, you know. Believe me when I say I wouldn't let you do this if I wasn't sure you could."

"Of course, Alice. I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"As you should be," she said tartly.

A saw began to whir in the dining room, and Esme hurried in to offer her support. Taking that as a cue, I started to move toward the door, but Alice stopped me.

"Not yet. Let them have a bonding moment, okay?"

"They'll have plenty of time to bond later," I complained.

Alice just smiled, as though humoring a small child. "Yes, but she already trusts you. It's important that Bella goes into the next life with confidence in all of us."

"I don't understand," I admitted, and her disconnected thoughts and visions were doing little to enlighten me.

"Bella's not used to being taken care of, but she's putting herself in our power by doing this. She's going to depend on us – you mainly, but she's still going to be a newborn, and it will require all of us to keep her from doing any harm."

"All right," I grumbled, accepting her rationale, though it gave me an odd, prickly feeling. I wanted Bella to rely on me alone – ridiculous, but how I felt nonetheless.

While Carlisle worked, he and Esme talked to Bella about the change, what she could expect during and after, and why there was really nothing of which to be afraid. She seemed to take their word better than mine; I wasn't sure whether to be grateful or offended.

When they'd finished, Bella walked out without crutches and came straight to me.

Does it hurt to walk on it?" I asked her.

"A little," she admitted.

"It's a trifle too soon to have the cast off, but your venom will do the rest of the work," Carlisle said to me.

We stood silent for a moment, all of us. No one wanted to be the first to suggest what had to happen next.

Bella sensed the tension too. "Let's go to the cottage now, Edward."

I nodded and looked to Carlisle. "Maybe someone else should be there, in case I lose control."

"That would be wise," Carlisle agreed. "It's very difficult, especially the first time."

Alice was glaring at us, but I ignored her. Bella didn't look very happy about the conversation, either.

"Can I have some time alone with Edward first?" she asked, looking up at me. "Just an hour?"

"Take two," Alice suggested. Apparently, she knew something she'd managed to keep from me.

"Two hours," I agreed.

"I'll be there when you're ready," Carlisle promised.

After saying goodbye to everyone, Bella and I walked out side by side until we reached the river. I scooped her up to get her across the river, and I carried her the rest of the way. The cottage had been finished literally overnight, now completely furnished and ready for us. I sat Bella down in the living room, and then followed as she wandered down the short hall. There were two bedrooms. The larger was completely furnished, I discovered. The smaller bedroom held only a medical table with straps attached. Bella blanched at the sight.

"Is that for me?" she asked with alarm.

"I believe so. What bothers you about it?" I asked, mostly teasing, but also concerned. We might have to strap her down during the change to keep her from hurting herself.

"It's so...clinical. It's not the way I imagined it would happen."

"How did you imagine it?"

"For some reason, I assumed it would be in a bed," Bella admitted. She turned to me, smiling sheepishly. The way her hair fell around her face made her look so young in that moment. "I guess I thought it would be more...romantic."

If only there were a way to turn this into something good for her – if not something romantic, at least something painless. I didn't want to steal the youth and innocence that was still so evident in her eyes.

"It's not going to be like the sexy vampire cliché you'd see on TV," I told her reluctantly. "We can accomplish it anywhere you like, but it's going to hurt. You're not going to look back on it fondly, no matter what we do."

"Then I want what comes before it to be special, at least," she said, and she stepped forward to wrap her arms around my neck. I brushed the hair away from her face, the better to look into her earnest eyes.

"We can do anything you want."

"Then let's go into the bedroom," she said.

"The bedroom?" I thought I knew what she was hinting at, and I would hardly refuse her, but I was surprised.

"Everything I've heard about newborns makes me worry that I might not be myself for a long time. I want to make sure I remember what it's like to be with you. I can't lose that."

"Bella, I won't let you lose that," I promised, and it was impossible to keep from kissing her when her face was so sweet and wistful. She responded with eager lips.

Though we'd made love just days ago, it felt like years had passed, and my body responded to Bella with all the fervor of the long denied. She seemed to feel the same.

I carried her into the bedroom. Standing at the foot of the bed, I slowly took her clothes off. She tugged at mine more urgently, but I was going to make this last. Although this would not be our last time - God knows I wouldn't let it be - it was the last time I'd have with her as a human.

I wasn't worried about the loss of her human softness. If anything, I craved the time - perhaps not long in the making, I noted with excitement - when Bella would be unbreakable in my arms, and I could make love to her without reservations. But the human side of her had drawn me in from the start, and the feel of her this way deserved to be preserved eternally in my memory, as it would be.

"My leg looks ridiculous," she complained when she stood naked before me. Indeed, the healing leg was quite skinny after its month of confinement.

"It's cute," I chuckled. "Besides, it won't be that way for long."

"Are you sure it won't stay this way forever? Dr. Cullen said it would go back to normal during the change, but..."

"It will, but even if it doesn't, you'll still be perfect to me," I promised.

"I suppose I shouldn't worry," she said, laying a hand on my bare chest. "You turned out pretty perfect."

"And I was dying of the Spanish flu," I pointed out. "I could have been scrawny and bed-headed for all eternity."

"You'd be cute with bedhead," she grinned, apparently reassured. "Have I told you today that I really, really love you?"

"Not today, no. But I know anyway," I said and pulled her into a tight hug. "I love you, my brave girl."

She kissed my chest. "Show me?"

"I'll never be able to show you enough, but I'll try."

I pulled back the covers and placed her on the smooth, white sheets. I crawled in with her and pulled the blankets up to our heads.

"Cold?" she teased, amused by my antics.

I would not be deterred. "This is our own little world for now, here in this bed. Nothing else exists."

"Okay," she whispered, understanding my seriousness. "Just you and me."

She cupped my face in her hands, and I kissed her slowly. There would never be enough time to fully appreciate the hot brush of her tongue or the delicate plumpness of her lips. Every sensation with her was so rich, so complex. I hoped she would feel the same range of pleasures once she too had the senses of a vampire.

We lay on our sides kissing until my impatience overcame me, and I rolled her onto her back, careful of her still frail leg.

Her thighs parted easily for me, and as much as I wanted to do everything with her, just one last time, we only had a few hours. I looked down into her eyes, so dark and somber, an expression that rarely showed itself when we were together like this. Bella lifted her hand and grazed her fingers over my cheek, seeing something in my expression that worried her. "Edward...are you sure it won't matter to you when I'm not human anymore?"

"I am sure," I promised. I was surprised she could even think such a thing. "Bella, I'm not worried."

She looked uncertain, and it pained me. "Have faith in me, Bella. Have faith in my love." I pressed my nose to the tip of hers. "I will never want you less, or love you less than I do right now. I wouldn't lie about that."

"I know you wouldn't." Her eyelashes were damp from unshed tears.

"Then don't be afraid," I murmured against her lips. And then I slid slowly inside her. She gasped but made no objection to the intrusion. "It will always be like this. Always."

She wound her arms around me as tightly as she could and pressed her lips back to mine as I loved her the best that I could. Her petite body seemed even more fragile than usual somehow, and I was careful to be slow and delicate in my kisses and touches. I'd thought, when we entered the bedroom, that we'd have one frantic final time, but now all I wanted was to make it last as long as possible. Everything about her was so very precious: every blush, every soft place, every breath. It was hard to believe that I would really be able to remember all these little things forever - I felt like I had to memorize them all once more.

"Hold me," she whispered, placing her hands on my face. I slid my arms beneath her, cradling her close, and we stayed pressed together that way, rocking slowly, until she came in slow, burning waves. I followed quietly after, releasing everything I had into her as I floated off to the place only she could take me.

The smell of tears drew me back down. I kissed them away, but they kept falling.

"Bella - Bella, love, don't cry."

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "I can't help it."

I raised myself up enough to look into her eyes. I'd rarely seen Bella afraid, and never of something I couldn't fight.

"Talk to me," I begged.

She ran her fingers distractedly over my shoulder. "This is the hardest part, that's all. I knew it would be, but I still wasn't prepared."

I nudged her chin to get her to look at me properly. "Bella, I know you've had to say a lot of goodbyes, but this isn't one of them. You're not saying goodbye to me. You'll never have to – never."

"What if I can't remember you when I'm a vampire?" she worried, digging her fingers into my skin. "What if I don't remember how I feel about you? I don't want to forget this."

"If that happens, I'll remind you, Bella. I won't give up until you remember everything."

"Do you promise?"

I pressed a kiss to her temple, then her cheek, then her lips. "I swear it."

For a long time, I held her curled tightly in my arms. We didn't speak; what could be left to say? But I couldn't bring myself to call for Carlisle, either.

In the end, as usual, Bella proved the braver of us.

"I think it's time, don't you?"

"We could wait a little longer," I offered. "The Volturi aren't even on a plane yet. As long as you're changing when they get here -"

"There's no reason to wait now. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I want it to be over."

"We'll do it now then." I got up and dressed quickly, then helped Bella back into her clothes.

"I want to do it in here," she said. "I'm sorry, but that gurney in there is just too creepy."

"Okay," I agreed, smiling at her assessment. "We'll do it here."

A knock sounded on the cottage door. It was Carlisle, and I read from his thoughts that Alice had sent him.

"Come in," I murmured. Carlisle slipped quietly into the room.

Are you ready? He asked me privately.

"I believe so."

I've found that the transformation is more efficient if the venom is injected at multiple points - the neck and wrists, at the very least, but other points as well, if you can manage it. I'll stay just outside - I'll monitor Bella's heart rate for you and let you know if you're taking too much. It's best if you try to simply close your throat off during the whole process. Ingesting the venom seems to trigger a psychological response akin to a release of endorphins in humans. The taste will make you want to feed, but it's manageable by itself.

I nodded. "Thank you, Carlisle."

Carlisle turned to Bella, who had been watching our mostly silent exchange.

"I'll be near if you need any help, but I think you should both be fine."

"Thank you," she said. "I really appreciate all that you've done for us, Dr. Cullen."

"I think it's time to start calling me Carlisle, don't you?" he replied and offered her a paternal smile. "I must say, it will be good to have some youth around again. I hope you're comfortable staying with us for a while."

"I'd love that," Bella said sincerely.

Carlisle excused himself, and Bella went to the bed without prompting.

I joined her, sitting next to where she lay. "I'm going to do my best at this, Bella, but it will hurt. A lot."

"I know. I won't hold it against you."

One by one, I catalogued the places I would be biting, pushing up her sleeves and moving her hair away from her neck. I listed each vein for her so she would know what to expect.

"I should do the femoral artery, too," I said, glancing down at her thighs.

"I'll just take them off, then," Bella murmured, scooting out of her jeans. "Will you make sure I'm covered up after? I don't want the whole family seeing my underwear for the next three days."

"Of course. I'd never leave you exposed."

"Okay." Bella took a deep breath. "Let's do it, then."

She turned her head, baring her neck to me. Gently, I guided her face back to me and met her eyes as I kissed her warm lips for the last time. Though it killed me to pull away, I dropped my lips to her neck, and for the first time, I sank my teeth into her skin.

A/N: The cliffy is cruel, I know. I promise I won't make you wait months for the next one. You may have also noticed, if you're following my other stories, that I haven't followed my usual pattern of updating one, then the others. I'm trying to get this finished for you all. It's been forever since I started, and it does deserve to reach its conclusion. Recently, I received a review accusing me of hoarding chapters until I got so many reviews or what have you - I just want to assure you all that I'd never do such a thing. I'm slow, but I'm not a tease. Thanks to those of you that are still hanging in there.