37. Last Resort

When I was around five years old and Jacoby was seven, he brought home a caterpie without telling Mom and Dad. We actually had a joint effort in caring for the bug pokémon, but Jacoby had always made it clear that the caterpie was his and no one else's. I knew this because he declared this several times a day and slept with the creepy crawler in his room, keeping it out of reach of everyone else. Since Trevor was still sleeping in our parents' room, the space was dedicated completely to the baby caterpie.

After a week, my father walked into Jacoby's room without knocking and managed to crush the baby caterpie into the wall. Jacoby was more devastated than I was, but for the longest time he was in denial that any of it had happened. There were times, even several weeks after the accident happened, that he searched his room for the caterpie, despite being able to see the few faint red streaks marked across his wall.

I was always baffled by how—despite seeing the accident and its aftermath—Jacoby couldn't seem to grasp that the caterpie was gone. I was younger than him, but I understood what had happened long before he did. Even when I saw Ms. Faraday was dead, I hadn't denied it or lied to myself with the misguided belief that she was still somehow alive.

Right now I felt like Jacoby from all those years ago—when he saw all the signs and still denied it.

"Sophie isn't dead," I said simply, yet my voice sounded so jagged, as if I had to climb over the words to actually say them. This was Sophie we were talking about. No one was immortal, but Sophie was pretty damn close to it.

Henrietta slowly recovered from her earlier drooping by pulling her shoulders back. "You don't have to believe me. I didn't expect you to, anyway. I just thought you should know. I know you always looked up to Sophie in a way—"

"Shut up." The words were unexpected and fell like hail, but the real impact was in my shove, which caused her to stagger backward. That was my first warning.

Henrietta's face was starting to look pink, but I wasn't sure if she was blushing or if my vision was starting to redden. I was getting sucked back into my thoughts by wondering how could she talk about her like that? I wasn't the only one that looked up to Sophie. Henrietta respected her more than she had ever respected me, and I didn't mind that because it was Sophie. Sophie, the girl who did whatever she wanted because she didn't seem to care either way. Sophie, the girl who spoke her mind regardless of how she thought it would be taken.

Sophie wasn't dead. There was no way.

"Oh, so now you want me to shut up?" This time she shoved me. I almost stumbled back, but I caught myself, braving a stance that held me in place. She glared at me with this harsh glint in her eyes. I mirrored it, but I knew my gaze was sharper, as if I was wielding a steak knife while she had a butter knife. That didn't make her back down, though.

"I told you I was stronger, Chelle. I know you don't believe that either. Go ahead and think of me as a liar because I know that's the only thing you'll ever see me as."

"You are a liar. Know why? Because Sophie isn't dead. You and I knew Sophie better than anyone. Nothing could stop her!" I yelled. "All you're doing is trying to scare me. You might have seen her, but you didn't actually see her dead, did you?"

I thought I had actually won with my question since she fell into a silence as heavy as lead, but all too soon she started talking again. "I can't tell you—"

"Then you are a liar and you have never been a friend to me or Sophie!" Henrietta had visited so that she could reunite with me and talk to me again, but we weren't actually talking. The one question that she did answer involved Sophie's death, and that was as much of a lie as her wrong number was. If she couldn't tell me even an ounce of the truth, then her statements carried no weight to them.

Henrietta gritted her teeth. "I am still your friend! I know you don't think I am, but I have been for years! Yeah, I made a mistake, but it was the right one. At least one of my friends is still alive!"

"Shut up! Sophie is alive!" That was my second warning.

"You are so stupid, Rochelle! And if you don't believe me and don't think that I've been protecting you and Sophie and Lillian and my family for all of these years, then go join her!" she snapped.

I was out of warnings. My arm swung in an effortless curve, and for a brief moment the movement was surprisingly graceful.

Then it ended when my fist pummeled Henrietta's cheek.

Any pain that Henrietta might have inflicted as we tumbled to the ground was overwhelmed by the adrenaline gushing through my body. It was the only thing that seemed to be powering my rage, besides the red suddenly coloring my vision. Henrietta had started screaming, but she was fighting back just as hard. Her glasses had fallen off in the midst of the attack, and we both thrashed and punched blindly. For the most part, we avoided each other's faces, but we also hit without thinking about it, aiming only to cause more pain. Each hit I received was another bruise, and if I hadn't been so focused on hitting my best friend, I might have admired a little bit of her strength.

But then, in a forceful end, I was immobilized, staring at Henrietta's frozen stature. One fist was raised above her head, ready to fly. I didn't hear Keane, but I knew he was there, waiting. Time seemed as frozen as I was, and the only evidence I got of its passing was the red fading from my eyesight. I blinked once the psychic bird released me, watching Henrietta, who was equally in shock, as she lowered her fist and stared in disbelief.

Neither of us said anything as Keane swooped over us, landing on the floor.

"Henrietta cannot hear me due to the psychic shield and won't be able to understand me if I speak aloud, so you must translate what I am saying," Keane instructed. I thought it was pretty rude since he didn't say 'please,' but whatever. "Please," he added. Smartass. It wasn't going to change my mind.

"I don't have to do this."

"Yes, but if everything Henrietta is saying is true, then her words must be taken into consideration."

"But she's lying—"

"Oh my god, I am not lying!"

"Whether or not she is lying, the threat is still present. I sense that the Tamers will be coming for us soon. Tell her that now."

I pouted while crossing my arms. If the Tamers were coming for us, that meant that Henrietta's words did hold some kind of truth. But then that would mean…

I didn't look at her as I spoke. "…The Tamers are coming."

Henrietta's eyes widened and she looked between us with a dire uncertainty. "…What? Right now?"

"Yes."

"Yup. But Sophie's alive. Just saying."

Henrietta was on her feet so fast that I almost didn't see her move. "…I've told you everything I needed to tell you. You need to get out of here as soon as you can, okay?"

Before I could open my mouth, Henrietta was running out of the door.

"Hey!"

Keane fluttered in the doorway.

"I suggest you start packing your things. Meredith and Corwin shall be informed of the circumstances. We must hurry."

"Yeah, okay, we can run away from these stalkers, but we have to find Sophie. And weren't we going to talk to Kurt?"

"If we were to speak with Kurt, I fear the Tamers would be able to trace our movements. It is best if we leave unannounced. Please kind in mind that you have a responsibility to uphold, Rochelle, if you wish to rid yourself of the curse."

It always came back to the curse. I couldn't catch pokemon because of the curse. I couldn't keep Poona because of the curse. I couldn't look for Sophie because of the curse. Why couldn't I do something that deviated from the curse for once?

"Yeah, but—"

"Let me finish." Keane straightened, holding his wings in front of him gravely. "You did not choose this path, it is true, but you can choose where you wind up. You can choose to be a selfish, cursed girl who had the opportunity to save the world from turmoil but couldn't beat her own temptations and agendas. Or you can choose to become a woman who, despite what she wanted, decided to better herself and take every chance she could to help change the world. What we are facing and what we will face is your decision and your choice in the matter, but, unfortunately, your decisions do affect everyone. This curse is precisely what it is: a curse. A burden. And it shall continue to be your burden until you decide to do something about it.

"I have said everything I needed to say about it. I never said you could not search for Sophie, but you must take your actions into consideration. We cannot forget our responsibilities for an indulgence that may or may not be successful."

If I said no, was I a villain? Even if I agreed, I wouldn't be a hero. I wouldn't feel like one. I would just be a girl with obligations—responsibilities that affected everyone. I didn't choose this. Hell, I didn't even want this.

I said nothing and started packing.