CHAPTER 36: THE PAIN OF LOVING

"Uhm..his name is Henry, Henry Haddock? He was rushed in here over a week ago." Astrid tapped her fingers nervously on the reception counter of the hospital that Regina had told her about. It was where Henry had been rushed to after his accident. After a whole dreaded week of waiting in pain, she finally decided it was the perfect timing to pay him a visit, hoping she wouldn't get caught his father or crazy fiancee.

"Are you family or a relative?"

"Yes? Uhm...no no, not really."

"Oh I am sorry, Only family and relatives are allowed for visitations at this point."

"Yes I know, I know but...I just thought I could..."

"I am really sorry ma'am, I really can't let you in..his father had given strict orders to..."

"He's my boyfriend...I mean...he was, but please, I really need to see him. He's been in there for a week and I'm losing my mind, please ma'am."

"I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do. I really want to help you, but my hands are tied here. I can call in his father to let you in, I'm sure he would..."

"He wouldn't. Believe me, I'm the last person he wants around his son right now."

"Well...It's clear you don't have any bad intentions, so why wouldn't he let you in?"

Astrid ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "You know what? Just forget about it, I wouldn't get in after that phone call anyway."

"Why don't you just try? I mean, you do love him, right?"

"Yes, I really do...but his father isn't a fan of that, okay?"

The nurse went through his files in silence, dialing in Gerald Haddock's number. Astrid rolled her eyes, burying her face in her palm. This lady clearly didn't understand her situation with Henry and his father and calling in Gerald, would only put her in much bigger trouble.

"Hello, Sir? Yeah, there's a lady requesting to see your son for a while...she isn't family so we decided to inform you about it...Uhm...she is Miss Astrid Hofferson? Yes, sir...I should let her in?" Astrid jolted in shock, gaping at the lady who watched her smiling. "Alright, we'll let her in, Thank you, Sir."

"There's no way that was his father on the line, are you sure you..."

"I did tell you to give it a try, didn't I?"

Astrid was dumbfounded. Gerald Haddock, the very same guy who'd blackmailed her into breaking off her relationship with Henry and fired her from his company was the very same guy who let her visit his son? It didn't make sense that he would suddenly have a change of heart on her relationship with his son, would it? especially when she was the main reason behind their fight and this accident. Why? why would suddenly think that...

"Uhm...ma'am? You still want to see him, right?"

"Oh, yes, yes...definitely," Astrid muttered, breaking out from her thoughts and the shock. She followed the nurse assigned to accompany her to Henry's ward in silence.

His room was on a higher floor that Regina said held more reserved VIP rooms. Of course, Gerald Haddock wouldn't want his son in a regular hospital ward. The walk was much longer than she'd expected and was really impressed at her arrival.

There was a whole sitting area at the entrance of the room, much larger than her previous apartment, the armed chairs of much better quality than hers, and the tv? for a patient who wasn't even conscious yet? It just reflected how miles apart, their worlds really were and that insecurity that she could never be good enough for him. Her surprise faded into devastation when she saw Henry. He was half buried in pipes, bandages that it was difficult to see his face from a distance. Her hand flew over her mouth as she watched blood go through the pipes, oxygen pump through the mask, his heartbeat reflected on the machine and his leg...it was just too much.

Astrid broke down in tears, shaking her head as the nurse placed her hand around her shoulders.

No one had told her that his situation was this bad, no one told her that his condition seemed almost hopeless, the only light of hope being his heartbeat still going on...without an assurance of how long. Henry just had one simple thing to do...stay away from her, get on with his life, and be just as happy as he was before she walked in. How hard could that have been? even if it was hard, it couldn't be worth being in this situation right now.

He found out about his dad's scheme to keep them apart, but so what? It was for a good cause anyway and picking up that fight wasn't worth it...it wasn't worth putting his life on the line. They'd even agreed to make the sacrifice to avoid hurting the people around them, so why couldn't he just stick to that?!

"How long is he going to be in this condition?"

"We are not sure about that yet, he needs to start responding to the treatment, but he hasn't so we're just waiting for now."

"Is it okay if I get closer?"

"Of course...you could also talk to him, believe me...it can make a difference."

She walked towards the large bed where Henry laid unconscious and knelt down beside him. She finally saw his face and heart dropped, more tears streaming down her eyes. He looked so pale and a lot more skinny, than he used to be and it seemed like he was in so much pain and she wished she could share a fraction of it, just to make him feel a little bit better...to at least make him wake up. "Henry..." She started, but choke on her words, sobbing softly, she took her hand in his, giving it a soft squeeze.

"It's me...It's Astrid...the girl you gave your heart to, but ripped it right in front of you." She buried her face in his hands and went on. "The girl you were willing to fight for but chose to...walk away. You understand why I had to that, right? It doesn't mean I stopped loving you, It doesn't mean I ever will."

"I am sorry. I'm sorry for doing this to you, and I promise to stay away for good this time, but please...you need to wake up, okay? Your father needs you...I need you...not to be with me, but I just need you to be okay. I could go on about how much you've changed my life these past months...but, I guess you already know that."

She stroked his hair softly, still holding on dearly to his hand with her other hand. "You're honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I'm not ready to lose that. I know, I didn't tell you about your father and I broke my promise to you...I wanted to fight with you..for us, but that would have been a selfish decision."

"You were loosing so much Henry." She glanced at his leg, hung up on the rail. "and you are loosing, even more, so...I couldn't keep fighting a war that we both couldn't win without getting hurt or hurting other people and I hoped you would understand that...but even with the pain, you kept holding on."

"You were willing to stand up for me to your dad and as much as I want to thank you for it...I just can't, because it also put you in this condition, so I wish you hadn't done that." She kissed the back of his palm and his forehead. "I love you, Henry...I love you so much, and I can't stand seeing you like this so please...come back to me. It doesn't matter how long it takes, I'll be waiting until I'm sure that you're really okay."

"You should...visit him more often. I'm sure if he were awake, he'd want you to be here always." The nurse spoke up behind her, making Astrid shocked to see she'd still been standing there the whole time, and quite embarrassed that she'd just poured out her heart to Henry, with an audience.

"I wish I could...but it's...not that easy."

"Why not? I mean, It's clear how much you love him."

Astrid gave a slight, forced smile. "Let's just say, I'm not exactly the best choice for a girlfriend."

"I don't believe that...you love him, so put him first. He needs love and support from all the people he loves and that includes you. If you want your visits to be private and anonymous, considering we already have permission from his father, I could call you and let you know when he's alone...that way you can spend more time with him."

"Really? You would do that?"

"Yeah, well...I'm pretty sure it's against the rules, but I know it would help him get better."

"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."

"I think I do...and I've been in your situation once, so I totally get it."

"Thank you."

"And uhm...one more advice if you don't mind?" Astrid turned towards her direction again, still holding onto Henry's hand. "When he wakes up...don't leave...cause that's when he'll need you the most."

"Yeah, uhm...I'll think about it."

"Hey...Heather, how are you doing?" Gerald Haddock walked into the room, towards Heather, who was sitting next to Henry's bed.

"Hi Dad, I'm okay, it's Henry we should be worried about now. How was work, today?"

"It wasn't a successful day." he sat down on the chair next to her and sighed. "This past week hasn't been successful with Henry being here. It's been really hard getting my head off worrying about him. I can't wait for him to get out here."

"He would Dad, don't worry. He'll be out of here in no time and join you soon."

"Oh, no no no, he's not coming back to the board, I'm no longer for that. Haddock aviation is my responsibility, not his. Once he gets out of here, he's going to live his life the way he wants to."

Heather smiled, placing her hand on the back of his palm. "That's all Henry's ever wanted from you, and I'm sure he'll be so happy to hear it."

"So...how was he today? Any improvements?"

"He was a lot better than he's ever been. You wouldn't believe it, Dad. I just stepped out to get some food, and when I got back, I noticed his fingers move and I was..."

"What?! Oh my gosh, did you tell the doctors about that?!"

"Calm down, Dad. I already did. They said it's a good sign because he's responding to the treatment now and if he keeps it up at this rate, he'll be out of here before the estimated time."

"That's news worth coming back to...I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so glad he's fighting so hard for us."

Heather glanced at Henry for a while in silence and sighed. "It is great news, but I'm not sure he's fighting because of us, Dad. I think...there's another reason why he's fighting for his life."

He gazed blankly at her, before raising his brows in the realization of the message she was trying to get across. "Uhm...I got a call earlier today, that Astrid had requested to see Henry for a while. I'm sorry I..."

"It's alright, Dad. I saw her leave...but she didn't know I did." Heather cleaned the tears that already trailed down the corners of her eyes." She has to visit him more often because I know Henry would want her to be here too."

"You think...he wasn't sincere about his decision to marry you?"

"Henry is selfless, Dad. He was willing to sacrifice his happiness for the both of us. Being a part of the board was a mile off his dream, but he became a part of it to make you happy. He's in love with her, but distanced himself from her, just to make sure that I don't get hurt. He's made a lot of sacrifices for us dad...It's time we do the same."

"But...you love him, Heather. What about your happiness?"

"Exactly...I love him...and my happiness is his happiness...even if it's not with me."

"Don't walk away from him if he still chooses to spend the rest of his life with you, okay? You both need to talk before making any decisions on your relationship."

"I'm not going to leave his dad. He needs me, and I'll be right here beside him. I don't care about my feelings right now, it's just him...then we'll decide things from there. I hope you understand that I can't go on with this marriage...not even after he gets better. If I'm going to marry him, I need to be the same person I was to him...ten years ago."

"Heather...I..."

"It's alright Dad." Heather kept struggling with the effort to wipe off the tears that just kept coming. "Worry about Henry...I will be alright."

Gerald stood up, walking towards Heather. He knelt on one knee in front of her and wiped her tears with both hands, pulling her into a warm long embrace.

She broke down, sobbing into his shoulders. "If Henry isn't the right person for you, it doesn't make you any less. You are a beautiful woman inside out and the right man is still out there, and if you keep holding onto Henry, you would never find him...and you'd just keep getting hurt."

She gave a soft laugh in the midst of her tears. "Your son is one of a kind Dad. It would take a miracle to find someone like him."

"Well...miracles do happen, don't they?"

"Yeah...I had Henry in my life for ten years...that alone was a miracle."

"You mean Gerald Haddock...the Gerald Haddock, the guy who threatened and kicked you out of his company, let you see his son?!"

"I know right? I just can't get my head around it, Regina. It was like instant permission without hesitation, I was shocked." Astrid sneaked in her index finger into the bowl of brownie mix that Regina was making up, to get a taste, nodding in approval.

"Wow...talk about change. "Regina shoved her hand jokingly at her second attempt to get another taste of the mix. "Henry's accident probably made him realize his actions and mistakes, and he's probably trying to resolve it."

"Whatever it is, I'm just so glad that I can see Henry more often now, I mean, the nurse offered to call me whenever he's alone and I had given her my number for it. I can now visit him without Heather or his father knowing about it."

"That's great. I'm just glad you got to see him."

Astrid pulled out the pan from one of the drawers for baking. "You didn't tell me his situation was that bad Regina."

"Sorry, I'm not exactly the exaggerating type and besides...you were hurting this week, I didn't want to make you feel worse."

"But still, I needed to know his exact state. I was so devastated, it's like I couldn't recognize him...It was just heartbreaking watching him that way."

"But that's how people in a coma look like, but he'll get better...don't worry about it."

"The nurse said he wasn't responding to the treatment for a week now."

"Well, who knows? Your constant visits could make a difference."

Astrid raised her eyebrow. "How?"

"I don't know...that's what I was told about my mother when she was in a coma years ago...she died anyway."

"Wow...that's...helpful."

"But...Henry is different, he would wake up soon."

"How are you so sure of this?"

"I don't know, I'm just assured he would...probably because of you."

Astrid greased the pan gently. "I have to pay him another visit soon, I'm just waiting for a call and then it'll be clear and safe to go."

"I still don't understand why you need to wait for a call, I mean, so what if Heather sees you? You're not doing anything wrong by visiting, are you?"

"There's just something about being around her that I really can't stand. I don't know..."

"Guilt? Well, you did still her fiancee after all."

"What?"

"I'm just kidding! Henry fell in love with you on an unplanned cause. It's not like you threw yourself at him or something...you shouldn't be blamed or feel guilty for it."

"Uhm...I guess you're..."

"But hey! If you want to go on waiting for some phone call that might never come, go ahead. For all you know, the lady might have even forgotten about you, she's a nurse... and Henry isn't the only patient."

"So I should just walk in there and into another dehumanizing conversation with Heather again?"

Regina scoffed. "She has no right to bring up your past. She has no idea what you've been through and besides...that isn't your life anymore."

"Do you think she cares about that?"

"You know...I don't think that Gerald Haddock is the only person who decided to make things right. Remember I met up with her the day Henry was rushed here?"

"Yeah?"

"She kept blaming herself for keeping you both apart and holding back his happiness."

"It doesn't mean anything...they are pretty much already married, she can't just change that...not for me."

"Maybe you two should have to talk then and she does owe you an apology."

"No Regina...I think it's the other way around. I took the love of the person she loves the most from her...I do owe her a huge apology."

"You're quite late, I'd given you a call about an hour ago, right?"

"I'm really sorry, I saw your missed call pretty late and got stuck in the rain, but I'm here now, even if it's a few minutes, it's fine." Astrid followed the nurse down the hallway towards Henry's ward.

"Alright, but if you still want your visit to remain unknown, you'd need to hurry. I'm not sure when she'll be back."

"Thanks for the effort."

"My pleasure, go on, he's still in here."

Astrid walked into the room again, noticing the indifference in the setup of the machines or his position even after a couple of days. She immediately rushed to his side to take a look at his face, hoping to notice some kind of hopeful change or improvement, but she found none. Her heart dropped as she stroked his face in silence.

"Hey Henry...I'm sorry it took it so long, but I had to wait for a chance to be with you alone."

"I miss you, Henry." She picked the two ends of hair at the base of his head and twisted it into a braid, smiling. "I missed doing this...I missed being around you and I know we had to make a decision to be apart, but so far...it's killing me. I know we chose not to be selfish, but it's hard to...It's really hard."

She braided his hair which seemed a lot longer than the last time she did this, right down to the tip. "Don't you want to get back to your life? I mean, I know it was tough choking in all the pressures and expectations, but your dad loves you...Heather loves you...I love you and we want nothing but to see you out of this place and back to the Henry we know."

"I know you've lost your leg, but I hope you haven't lost your dream. I'm still hoping that you can be the pilot, you've always wanted to be."

"For me, my life has been so much better since you'd cleared my debt to Eric, but I just wish...I could spend it with you. I wish we could be together...atleast as friends, but I know we can't."

"I can't watch your life get messed up and watch you lose the people you love or watch them lose you. I might not be here when you wake up, but I just hope that you really move on this time...Don't pick fights with your dad and...love Heather. She loves you so much and hasn't taken a break since you got here. She's been here, taking care of you and she deserves your love."

"Don't think of it as a sacrifice...because it's the only way that you'd be happy...and maybe...we might meet again in the future and be glad that we chose to let go."

She planted a long kiss on his forehead. "I love you...and I would never stop loving you...I could at least promise you that."

"Astrid?"

Astrid froze, her heart stopping for a dangerous amount of seconds in response to the very familiar and taunting voice that immediately sprang up deep fear and regret within her. The voice of the person she desperately hoped to never meet up with...especially not in this position and situation. She inhaled deeply, shaking in fear, but ready to take whatever was thrown at her for being here and shamelessly coming back into Henry's life, even after all the trouble she'd caused.

She turned to see the face of the person she could spend the rest of her life apologizing to, but would never be enough...Heather.

To Silvolde: Yes it is, thanks for your consistency in reading! I appreciate it!

To CajunBear73: I would never understand how you dedicate your time in writing reviews. I appreciate every single one of them and learn new words...lol. Yes! They did sneak her in, didn't they?

To Sup8duct: Thank you! Keep reading!

To Crimson Dragon VIRUS: Thank you so much! I love your reviews so much I'm sorry about the suspense, especially in this chapter...lol.

To goldentiger98: Did you read all the chapters between your previous and latest comment? Whoa...I'm impressed. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy till the end. I love your story 'King of berk' too!