Chapter 37- Thanksgiving or Slapsgiving?

A/N: I tried. I really did. I planned on working on this on Friday, but being American, shopping got in the way. I love that so many of you want updates! So better late than never! Happy Thanksgiving, Slapsgiving, Blitzgiving, and Hanukkah!

"I can't find anything to wear. Why can't I find anything to wear?" Robin shouts from the closet.

"Because you are panicking," Barney answers calmly. "You don't have a reason to panic. We are just going to Lily and Marshall's. It's like every other Thanksgiving ever. We go, we hang out, we eat, we watch some football."

"We eat Jell-O shots on occasion and you get slapped," she continues.

"Yes, thank god the slapbet is over."

"Our wedding day was not my favorite idea of how to end it, but it is good it is finally over," she says. "Now what should I wear? I don't know what to wear?"

"Something comfortable."

"But I want to wear something nice!" she whines. "It's been so long since I've been out of the house for anything other than a doctor appointment.

"Then wear something nice," Barney moans. "But you will look amazing in whatever you wear. You always do. Just wear something that shows off Brianna and you'll be the highlight of the party."

"Really?"

"Yes. How many times do I have to tell you the bump is sexy as hell?"

"Come on. It can't be that good."

"It is," he stresses. "Now we've got to go. I don't want to be late."

"It's 23 minutes to their apartment, why do we need to leave so early?" she questions.

"Because it takes you ten minutes to get to the car," he complains. "No offense, but she's slowing you down. You're not the nimble laser tag partner you once were."

She stares at him in anger. Did he really just call her fat?

"It's nothing against you," he tries to back out of. "You literally don't walk anymore. You aren't used to walking. You are going to be slow." She continues to give him the evilest of glances. "Look, what really matters right now is that we are leaving the apartment and going out to Marshall and Lily's, so let's get a move on."

"Fine," she murmurs with a huff, grabbing a black cotton maxi dress. "I guess I'll wear this."

"Marvin! Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin are here!" Lily shouts from the kitchen.

"YAY!" Marvin exclaims, tearing out of his room in an effort to hug them as hard as possible.

"Careful Marvin," Marshall explains. "Auntie Robin needs to sit down before you hug her. The baby needs to sit."

"Kay daddy. Uncle Wobin are you sitting now?"

"Uncle Robin?" she asks Marvin, trying not to giggle at his nickname. He has instantly cheered her up. "Why am I uncle Robin?"

"Because I don't want to step on you. Ants are little things you step on. I don't want to kill you when I step on you."

"Come here Marvin," she tells him, pulling him into her lap from where he is sitting next to her on the couch. "There is something you should know."

"What's dat?"

"I'm a different kind of aunt. You can't step on me and kill me," Robin explains. "I promise."

"So I can call you auntie again?"

"Yes Marvin," she giggles.

"Yay!" he shouts as he runs to his bedroom.

"Sorry about that Robin. I tried to explain it to him earlier," Lily apologizes, stepping out of the kitchen.

"It's ok Lily. I think he got it," she laughs. "Is there anything I can do to help from the couch?"

"Not really," Lily answers. "Just stay away from Marshall's gouda this time. I don't know if it's pasteurized or not."

"Thanks for the heads up."

It had been one of her favorite American Thanksgivings so far. Lily's food was amazing as always, and for once in her pregnancy, she was actually starving when it was time for dinner. But so far, being back in the old apartment has been the best part if the day. Getting to sit somewhere else that isn't the fortress or the doctor's office is amazing. Barney spent the day so far playing with Marvin, and she can't help but be excited about how much he is going to awesome up parenthood. The entire day had been amazing, until they sat down for the scrumptious baked goods.

"Teddy Westside is definitely going to have a boy!" Barney declares with his challenge accepted tone. Robin can't help but roll her eyes. That tone is almost never a good thing.

"Uhh, I don't know Barney. I have a feeling it's a girl," Marshall challenges.

Robin can't help but think that the last time Marshall and Barney talked like this, it ended in the slap bet.

"Wanna bet?" Barney ensues.

"Of course," Marshall agrees.

"Ten thousand dollars."

Robin rolls her eyes. Leave it to his gambling problem to bet way too much, too fast.

"I don't have that kind of money."

"Fifteen thousand!" Barney continues, ignoring everyone else for the sake of the challenge. Robin knows she has to shut this down now.

"Barney," she demands. "You are not betting any more than one hundred on this. Are we clear?"

"Fine. One hundred!" He declares.

"No," he pauses for dramatic effect. "Two slaps."

Everyone in the room gasps at once. As much as Robin hates the slapbet because she hates seeing him hurt, she almost thinks Barney deserves it today. It's what he gets for implying she's fat.

Ted and Tracy stare at each other. Tracy knows about the slap bet, but she never witnessed it, because Marshall used all his slaps by the time that she joined the group. She is ecstatic about it coming back.

"Deal!" Barney wholeheartedly agrees, shaking Marshall's hand across the table. Robin and Lily can't help but roll their eyes. Lily really thought this was all over.

"Well, lucky for you, it's going to be a very happy Slapsgiving for one of you," Ted announces.

Barney and Marshall both grin evilly, highly anticipating what Ted is going to say next.

"I call slap bet commissioner!" Tracy shouts eagerly, interrupting the warring men.

"Thank god," Lily groans. "You can have it. I'm retired." Tracy grins happily.

"Barney, Marshall, as the new slap bet commissioner," Tracy announces in the best neutral party voice she can pull off. "I believe that you have placed a two slap wager on the sex of the baby in my uterus. Is that correct?"

"Yes," Barney and Marshall concur simultaneously.

"Will this be two immediate slaps or two at the winners choosing?"

"Choosing," Barney says.

"Choosing," Marshall agrees.

"Alright. Then with no further ado," Tracy announces, "please shake hands and prepare for Slapsgiving 4!"

"Wait you know?" Barney screeches.

"Yep. We were going to tell you after dessert, but this is much more fun!" Ted giggles.

"I'm gonna slap you so hard," Barney spits at Marshall.

"I'm gonna slap YOU so hard," Marshall spats back.

"Can I ask you two to go behind the couch with your trash talk? I don't want to ruin my wedding china by Barney falling on the table," Lily chides.

"Hey!" Robin interjects. "How do you know it's not going to be Marshall getting slapped?"

"Cause it's a girl, I just know it's a girl," Lily insists.

"Just to be clear, no one really knows, Tracy adds. "I didn't tell anyone. Did you Ted?"

"Nope."

"Ok boys. Get up and move," Lily demands. "I gotsta know."

"Alright Marshall," Barney trash talks yet again. "Prepare for my hand on your face."

Tracy starts, "And it's..." before she's interrupted by Ted.

"Marshall, slap him!" He shouts.

Whack!

As soon as Marshall's hand connects with Barney face, Robin feels Brianna jump. She doesn't know what caused her to jump, the connection to her father, or the loud sound wave that reverberated through the room. Regardless, it is a new feeling for robin to feel her move that much.

"Damn it!" Barney screams, holding his face.

"One slap remaining!" Tracy announces.

"And I'm back!" Marshall shouts. "And you're having a girl!" he changes tones and coos. "We have another girl!"

"You totally knew!" Barney accuses.

"I did not. I swear," Marshall says. "I didn't know that they knew either!" "You have to watch what you bet on Barney," Robin reminds him. "We've been over this."

"You thought it was funny," he accuses.

"Of course. She didn't though," Robin shares, pointing at her stomach. I wish you could have felt her jump."

"Awwww! She jumped?" Lily squeals. "Isn't that so adorable!" She reaches a hand towards Robin's stomach.

"Hands off the bump Lily," Robin growls. "I'm not in the mood."

"Sorry, sorry. Happy Slapsgiving everyone!"

"Happy Slapsgiving!" Everyone cheers except Barney, who has climbed on the couch next to Robin, still nursing his cheek and ego.

"Now for a verse of our favorite Slapsgiving day ditty!"

11/28/14

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope everyone had a great day yesterday. I know I did. I got the opportunity to leave the fortress that I've been stuck in for months now, and head to my friends for the holiday. It was amazing! After eating way too much of my friend's amazing gourmet cooking and baking, we reincarnated a tradition in our little family. It's called Slapsgiving.

It started eight years ago over a disagreement about my past. My husband, who was just a friend at the time, and another friend made a bet about whatever it was they were having a disagreement about. It wasn't your average bet though. It was a slap bet.

In a slap bet, whoever wins gets to slap the loser in the face. It doesn't sound like much, but what started out as a simple one-slap bet, turned into an eight slap bet, that dragged out over six years, the concluding slap being on our wedding day.

The friend enjoyed torturing him with the idea that he could slap him at any moment. One such occasion was one year on Thanksgiving. He told him months ahead of time that he would be slapping him in a certain number of days. It fell on Thanksgiving. The slap almost didn't occur that day, but it eventually did, and a tradition began. We had one other true Slapsgiving, but we've always referred to Thanksgiving as Slapsgiving since.

This matters, because yesterday, a new slapbet began. The two were arguing over the sex of a mutual friend's baby. They decided to bet on it, not expecting anything to happen, but our friends decided to share their news with us that night. Surprise, surprise, my husband lost yet again. He at least only has one slap still hanging over his head this time.

Really, I'm glad he lost, because our friends are having a girl! Our baby girl will have an instant playmate for life! Happy Slapsgiving Day everyone, and watch out for all those flying hands!