Broken Fragments

Chapter 36: Back to December

Two weeks had passed since Yuuhi met Subaru. During those two weeks, Yuuhi had been more diligent and busy with her career, since she launched two new singles that she had been working on during the movie's filming. She was also rehearsing for the concert they were going to hold in two weeks for her birthday on August 15th. Hiroto was also more careful and protective of Yuuhi, hoping the 'unknown man' wouldn't come again. Of course, Subaru hadn't come to see Yuuhi since that day.

"I'm going out to eat, Kazama-san," Yuuhi announced, getting her things ready.

The sun had set and Hiroto was finishing up the emails he had to send to broadcasting studios for Yuuhi's concert. He also had just approved the posters they were going to publish for Yuuhi's concert.

"Okay. Where do you want to go? It's my treat tonight," Hiroto smiled as he kept his eyes on the computer while his fingers typed on the keyboard.

"No. I'm eating out with Cloudy."

Hiroto stopped what he was doing as soon as he heard Cloudy's name slip out of Yuuhi's mouth. Silence lingered between the two of them with Yuuhi getting ready to open the door to walk out. Yuuhi held the doorknob and turned it, but she was interrupted before she could pull the door open.

"Didn't I tell you to break up with him?" Hiroto clenched his fists in anger.

"I didn't. We're still together."

"Break up with him. Now."

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that," Yuuhi replied as she pulled the door open.

"Yes, you can! And you're going to! Now!" Hiroto roared, slamming his hands on his desk as he stood up.

Kirari's framed picture fell face-down on the desk. The jar that held Hiroto's pens, pencils, and markers also shook when Hiroto's hands hit his table. Yuuhi let go of the doorknob as it closed by itself. As soon as the door's latch bolt clicked, Hiroto's office felt isolated from the world. Yuuhi didn't turn around to face Hiroto because her anger was already peeking out of her face.

"I'm going to stay with Cloudy…whether you like it or not," Yuuhi boldly stated.

"No, you're not. I'm not letting you."

"And why is that?" Yuuhi finally turned around after she lost her temper.

"Because I'm your manager."

Yuuhi began to nod her head with a sarcastic smile on her face. She let out a quick sigh and turned her eyes back to Hiroto, showing him how fierce she was.

"Is that why you don't want me to be with Cloudy?"

"That's not all."

"Then what?" Yuuhi yelled in anger.

"He hurt you, Yuuhi! He took advantage of you! Why would you stay with a person like him?"

"Maybe because I have feelings for him!"

"No, you don't!"

"Will you stop that?! Stop telling me what to do!"

Hiroto didn't counter what Yuuhi said because she was right. He had been yelling at her and telling her what to do, though he, himself, didn't know why he wanted her to do those things.

"How about you?! If I told you what to do, would you follow me?!" Yuuhi continued to angrily yell at Hiroto.

Hiroto didn't answer her with a 'yes' or a 'no.' He didn't know why he couldn't reply to her, but he used the excuse of fear to cover the truth that was trying to get out of his heart. Yuuhi assumed his answer to be a 'yes,' so she didn't restrain herself and stepped over the line.

"Forget about Kirari," Yuuhi said, noticing Kirari's framed picture that fell face-down.

"What? What's Kirari got to do with this?"

"Forget about her!"

"No!"

"Why?! She's dead! She's been gone!"

"Stop!"

Yuuhi was aware that her point had reached Hiroto. She wanted to continue and let out the feelings she had, but Yuuhi wanted to be the better person in the argument and left Hiroto.

"Exactly," Yuuhi calmly said, turning back to the door.

"Why should I follow you and leave my boyfriend, who's alive…when you can't even forget about her…who's long gone?"

Yuuhi walked out of Hiroto's office, gently shutting the door. Hiroto was left with an angry, fast-beating heart and chaotic thoughts in his head. He noticed Kirari's framed picture and placed it back up properly. Staring at it, he remembered what Yuuhi said.

"I can't simply forget about you," Hiroto said to Kirari's picture, as if she could hear him.

"You were my first love."

"How long do you plan to keep on doing this?" Cloudy asked, slicing the piece of meat he had on his plate.

"Until I'm completely broken," Yuuhi honestly replied as if it was nothing to her.

"You're a crazy woman," Cloudy smirked as he placed the meat he had cut into a smaller piece in his mouth.

"Am I really?" Yuuhi sinisterly smiled back, sipping some of the red wine in her glass.

"Yes," Cloudy smiled back.

"You're already broken, after all," he thought to himself about Yuuhi.

After dinner, Yuuhi and Cloudy stormed into her apartment, exchanging deep kisses. Cloudy carried her in to her room, her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck. She continued to roughly grasp Cloudy's hair, feeling the pleasuring surge of repeatedly kissing him.

Cloudy dropped her down on the bed and took off his shirt, revealing his chiseled abs and chest and muscular arms. He continued kissing Yuuhi's soft and seductive lips, moving onto her neck afterwards. She could feel his lips touching her neck, which sent chills up and down her spine as it arched when she raised her chest in ecstasy.

Yuuhi's lust looked like happiness, but Cloudy knew that she was already broken. Though he wanted to break her even more, Cloudy was aware that there was only one person who could do that, and he knew it wasn't him. Despite this, they enjoyed each other's company, their night full of sweat and moans as their bodies made contact once again.

The next morning, Yuuhi woke up with only a thin, white blanket covering her body. She wore her underwear, but she kept her bra off. She looked over to her side to find only a note in replacement for Cloudy.

"I had to leave early. I'll see you later," the note said.

Yuuhi knew, from the very beginning, that she and Cloudy were never in love, which was made apparent by the emotionless letter that Cloudy left after their sleeping with each other. The only reason why they were still together, in spite of the fact that Cloudy took advantage of Yuuhi, was because Cloudy was also aware of their dry relationship. Cloudy was attracted to Yuuhi, yes, but he never felt love for her. He knew the truth of her cold-hearted nature because of her eyes, and what she was doing to herself because he also tried to do it.

After she placed the note back to where it was, Yuuhi thought about their relationship. She and Cloudy had been together for only a month, and she had already slept with him. Yuuhi had always known that Cloudy was just like her. That was why she was drawn to him.

Their feelings for each other were mutual: attracted to each other, but not in love. They knew that they were the same, one way or another, but they also knew that being the same wasn't a reason they can use to 'fall in love' with each other.

Yuuhi's train of thoughts were interrupted when she heard knocks on her bedroom door.

"I thought he already left," Yuuhi thought, rolling her eyes to think that Cloudy was actually still at her house.

Yuuhi got up, letting go of the blanket that covered her top. After all, what more can she hide from Cloudy when he had seen her everything, body and even mind. Groggily scratching her head, Yuuhi reached for the door knob.

"Did you forget something, Clou—"

Yuuhi screamed right away to find that it wasn't Cloudy that knocked on the door. She dropped to the ground to hide her bare chest with her knees and arms after she realized that the person from the other side of the door stared at her in shock.

"How'd you get in here, Subaru?!" Yuuhi screamed.

Subaru took off his jacket and placed it on Yuuhi, turning his head to the ceiling as she got up to put it on.

"Your door was unlocked," Subaru said, blushing though he was composed.

"That's a bad habit of his," after Yuuhi zipped the jacket up, she clicked her tongue in frustration of Cloudy's always forgetting to lock the door.

Yuuhi walked out of the bedroom and closed her door to keep the smell of their sweat, perfume, and cologne in her room. She made her way to her refrigerator and grabbed a cold bottle of water.

"What are you doing here? No, actually…how did you find me here?" Yuuhi asked, gulping the water down.

"I asked a friend of mine that works at MEC," Subaru replied as he took an apple from the bowl of fruits on Yuuhi's kitchen counter.

Yuuhi didn't really care about how Subaru found her, so she returned to her bedroom to get ready for work. Subaru stayed in her living room, watching TV. While changing the channel multiple times to find a good show, Subaru came upon a channel that broadcasted Yuuhi's debut concert from four months ago.

'Yuuhi, The Fallen Angel' became her name after her performance of Meikyuu Butterfly. To Subaru, she looked radiant and beautiful, even though her song was dark and mysterious. Subaru could tell that the audience were immediately captured by Yuuhi's voice and charisma.

"This is completely different from her debut concert," Subaru told himself, his jaws still hanging from fascination.

Yuuhi came out of the bedroom, ready to leave. Subaru turned the TV off and escorted her out. Subaru offered to take Yuuhi to the MEC building, which she took right away. On their way there, the silence was their only company. Subaru thought that Yuuhi would ask questions about their past, but she never did. She hadn't even asked where he went to or why he left. He wanted it to be that way because he wouldn't really want to answer her questions, but he was a little worried, too.

When they arrived, Subaru accompanied Yuuhi all the way to the floor where Hiroto's office was located. She didn't ask questions on why Subaru kept following her either, keeping the peace and quiet between them. However, before she could reach Hiroto's office, Subaru and Yuuhi had already parted ways without even her knowing.

"I'm here," Yuuhi announced after walking in.

"Good morning," Hiroto said as he continued pressing the keys on the keyboard.

Hiroto typed up more emails when he heard the door close. He was a little surprised that Yuuhi came in early, despite the argument they had yesterday. He continued typing away while Yuuhi read a magazine, waiting for Hiroto to finish with what he was doing. After a few minutes, Hiroto finished and was prepared to leave when suddenly, he received an email from the Chairman.

"Hey, Yuuhi. The Chairman wants me to go to his office. Do you want to wait here or come along with me?" Hiroto asked, getting all his things together.

"Sure, I'll come."

The two made their way to the top floor of the building where the Chairman's office was located. The mood between the two in the elevator were a little heavy, but they tried not to make it obvious. When they made it to his office, Hiroto knocked on the door before he came in. After given permission, he and Yuuhi walked in to the Chairman wiping his tears with a huge smile of celebration on his face.

"Hiroto-kun, he's alive!" the Chairman greeted, puzzling Hiroto and confusing Yuuhi.

"Alive? Who is?"

"Yo, Hiroto."

Subaru raised his hand to casually greet Hiroto with a wave. Hiroto's eyes quickly widened to see Subaru, a person they thought was long gone. Yuuhi was still confused of what was going on, but she decided to observe and keep quiet.

"Subaru-san!" Hiroto ran to Subaru and hugged the golden-haired boy like his big brother.

"You're alive!"

"Well, it's a long story," Subaru awkwardly laughed.

"By the way, Subaru-kun, this is Yuuhi Tsubasa. Yuuhi-chan debuted in March, so you could say she's pretty new, but she's been a big hit lately," Chairman Muranishi introduced Yuuhi, who quietly stood by the door.

Chairman Muranishi motioned Yuuhi to come together with them so that she could meet Subaru. Still as clueless as when she walked into the room, Yuuhi stood by the Chairman and waited for him to finish what he was saying.

"Yuuhi-chan, this is Subaru Tsukishima. Subaru-kun is Kirari's big brother," the Chairman continued.

As soon the Chairman said Kirari's name, Yuuhi's face turned a sickly color. Her eyes had widen in shock and she felt her body begin to tremble. The Chairman asked her to introduce herself to Subaru, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. After all, she had known Subaru since they were in junior high school.

"You're…I," Yuuhi muttered, her hands shaking.

Subaru's reaction wasn't alike Yuuhi's. His face showed agony and apology, which Yuuhi noticed right away. He tried to reach out to her, but Subaru had known that someday, something like that was going to happen.

"Yuuhi, I—"

Before Subaru could take her hand, Yuuhi ran out of Chairman Muranishi's office as fast as she could. Hiroto and the Chairman looked at each other as Subaru ran after her. They, like how Yuuhi was confused in the beginning, were mixed up with what was going on, too.

"I'll follow them," Hiroto declared to the Chairman as he also ran after Subaru and Yuuhi.

Since Yuuhi had taken the only elevator, Subaru had to run down the stairs to a floor that had two elevators. He was able to reach the first floor of the building just in time to see where Yuuhi turned to. He kept running, not even noticing that Hiroto had caught up to them.

Midway, Subaru realized that Yuuhi was going to the same place that he dragged her to, during that one day he bumped onto her. Since he had planned to take her there, he knew where the other shortcuts were. So, without any hesitation, Subaru took these shortcuts without even having the assurance that Yuuhi was really heading for the alley he was going to. Hiroto didn't fall far back from Subaru, but Hiroto had to take more careful measures for there might be paparazzi lurking.

Finally, Subaru grabbed Yuuhi from behind when she reached the alley, not knowing that Subaru got there first.

"Let me go!" Yuuhi screamed with Subaru holding onto her from behind.

"Yuuhi, I can explain!"

"No!" Yuuhi roared as she got away from Subaru.

Hiroto arrived to the alley to see that Subaru and Yuuhi were snarling at each other. Not wanting to get in between, Hiroto hid near the wall by a trash can. He kept quiet and listened to what was going on, though he knew that eavesdropping was bad manners.

"Yuuhi, listen—"

"I don't want to listen to you anymore! I've had enough!"

Hiroto noticed from Yuuhi's voice that she was physically tired from running. However, he could also tell that Yuuhi was emotionally and mentally tired from the trembling of her voice and the faint sob behind it. Hiroto was beginning to get more and more concerned, but he knew that jumping into the mouse trap right away can kill a mouse.

"All this time…I hoped and prayed…that you two weren't related," Yuuhi cried.

Subaru couldn't say anything, though he wanted to just scream everything with hopes that it will solve all the problems that were surfacing.

"I fell for you, Subaru! I fell in love with you…I…I loved you!"

"I loved you, too, Yuu—"

"Then tell me everything! From the beginning! From the lies you told me to whatever went wrong with us! I don't care! I don't care anymore!"

All of Yuuhi's anger, misery, and sorrow rushed out of her and flowed towards Subaru. Hiroto could feel Yuuhi's feelings, but he was too shocked and muddled of what he was hearing.

"It was all true, Yuuhi. I chose the countryside because of the meteors, but later on, I became happy that I chose that place because I got to meet you. They were all true, Yuuhi. All the things I told you, all the memories we made, and all the feelings I had for you…they were all true," Subaru, too, began to cry.

"Then tell me…did you fall in love with me…because I look like her?"

Hiroto's eyes widened again. Even if he had heard Yuuhi say the same lines many times before, Hiroto felt the difference with how she said it this time. Before, the tone of her voice were nonchalant, and she didn't really care if the people she asked said that she did look like the late idol. However this time, Hiroto could sense all her feelings and resentment that she had always kept.

"That's not true!" Subaru protested.

"Then tell me everything! Tell me the truth!"

Subaru wasn't ready to tell Yuuhi everything, but he knew he brought this situation onto himself. Hurting Yuuhi was something Subaru couldn't do, but everything was too late, and there was no escape for him.

"The characters for my last name…were a lie," Subaru started off.

"My mother was able to make a deal with the school to keep my last name's characters different from the real one because it would reveal my identity as the son of Luna, a famous actress in Hollywood," he continued.

"After she left to go back to America, I lived alone in the countryside in a small apartment complex. I was still lonely, even though many people admired me, but after I met you, all the loneliness faded away."

Subaru briefly smiled when he reminisced the times he had with Yuuhi. Every memory he made with her was a treasure that was dearly important to him.

"When we began to date, I felt like I was the happiest man in the world. I didn't want to leave you, or do anything to make you leave me. I wanted us to stay that way forever," Subaru continued.

"But two weeks before Christmas, the night I bought the long and thick muffler for us, was the night I never wanted to happen."

Subaru went back to that December to recall and narrate everything that was hidden from Yuuhi, from merrily buying something for her to their final moments together, also unknown to her.

Subaru went downtown with his friend, Takashi, to help him out in buying a present for his girlfriend. Takashi didn't know that Subaru was also buying a gift for Yuuhi. Their relationship was still a secret from everyone because Yuuhi didn't want to get bullied anymore.

There were two more weeks before December 25th and the town was full of Christmas decorations, every store having Christmas lights, Christmas trees, or Santa images. The atmosphere was light and warm, and everyone was happy to get into the holiday spirit.

Takashi had already found the perfect present for his girlfriend, but Subaru was still having a harder time because he didn't know what to get for Yuuhi. He couldn't ask for Takashi's opinion because Subaru lied and said that he was buying a gift for his mother. Subaru began to lose faith in himself when out of nowhere, Subaru remembered the nights he'd been sharing with Yuuhi out on the hill by the shrine.

Subaru recalled how Yuuhi would always get cold because her scarf wasn't thick enough. They always had to cuddle, too. Subaru wasn't complaining about the latter, but he thought it would be nice if they were warm and cuddled.

The golden-haired gentleman was able to find the perfect muffler, both long and thick, for them to share. After he bought it, he looked at his phone's wallpaper, which was a cute stolen shot of Yuuhi. Subaru walked out of the shop with a soft smile on his face, something Takashi didn't notice.

"I have to run an errand for my mom, so I'll go now. My bad, Su," Takashi ran away from Subaru towards the market as he waved his hand.

On his way to the station, Subaru thought about what to tell Yuuhi when he was going to meet her later that night.

"I'll protect you no matter what," Subaru thought as he looked at Yuuhi's picture on his phone once more.

"So we won't have to hide anymore."

Subaru smiled once again just as the giant Christmas tree in the center of the shopping district lit up. His face, heart, and feelings for Yuuhi were as bright, maybe even brighter, than the Christmas lights that radiantly shone from the tall tree.

After he got off the train, Subaru made walked from the train station to his home, when out of the blue, his phone began to ring. He didn't know who the caller was since the ID was 'Unknown,' so Subaru had to be polite, in case it was someone older.

"Hello?"

"Subaru, how have you been?" a ladies voice answered from the other side of the call.

"Mom?"

"How's Japan? Do you like it?"

"Yeah. Why are you calling all of a sudden?"

"Oh, I was just going to tell you that you're returning here soon."

"What?! How soon?!"

"Hmm? Well, I bought a ticket for Christmas Eve so you can get here for Christmas and celebrate with me," Subaru's mom cheerfully announced.

"What?! Why?! That soon?!"

"Why not? Oh! You met your sister, didn't you?" teased the lady.

"Huh? No, I haven't. I don't even remember how she looks like," Subaru said with one of his eyebrows up in a little annoyance.

"Eh?" his mother exclaimed.

He opened his apartment room's door while he tucked the phone between his ear and his shoulder. When he got in, Subaru carefully placed the muffler on his dining table and made his way to his room.

"She has waist-length, light brown hair and blue eyes," described Subaru's mother.

"Mom, I know someone else that has those features. Oh, but she has hip-length hair," Subaru said, voicing out his thoughts.

"Oh! And she's a new idol."

"Huh? My little sister's an idol?" Subaru asked in disbelief as he put his phone on speaker and got on his computer.

"Look for her name on the search engine and you should see her pictures. Kirari has become quite the lady, you know. Don't fall in love with her, Subaru. It's forbidden," Subaru's playful mother teased, even giggling.

"Jeez, Mom, I know. Besides, I already have a girlfriend," Subaru revealed as he waited for his computer to load.

"Really? What does she look like?" the excitement from Subaru's mother was obvious from the tone of her voice.

"Well, she has hip-length…" just as Subaru was to happily continue describing Yuuhi to his mother, the website finally loaded and showed the pictures of his sister that Subaru searched for.

"…light…brown hair…and…blue eyes…" Subaru's voice began to faint as soon as he saw Kirari's pictures online.

The newly-debuted idol, Kirari, who was also Subaru's younger sister, looked just like Yuuhi, Subaru's girlfriend. Their hair length and hairstyle were a little different, and Kirari's light brown hair was a little darker, but there was no mistaking it.

Subaru was looking at his little sister, who looked like an exact copy of his girlfriend.

Subaru began to tremble when he thought of the only explanation he could think of. His mother could no longer hear his voice, worrying her.

"Subaru? Are you still there? Subaru?"

Subaru was still shocked at what he was looking at. However, right away, he already knew what he thought was the right thing to do.

"Mom…you said my flight is on Christmas Eve…right?" Subaru asked, his face still horrified and his heart hurt.

"Yeah, why?"

"Okay."

Subaru hung up right away and turned his computer off. His mind went blank and his heart was slowly shattering as he went to bed. He tried to forget about it, hoping it was a dream.

The night of Christmas Eve, Subaru found Yuuhi wearing the muffler he left her on the Friday he took a picture with her. Since his flight wasn't until later at night, he was able to follow Yuuhi around before he left for the airport. Though he could see her and was in the same place as her, Subaru felt so far away from Yuuhi, that it was hurting him more than just leaving her.

"Yuuhi," Subaru miserably thought, wanting to hug her.

Before he finally decided to leave, his last glimpse of Yuuhi was of her holding the picture that she had developed from that day he left her.

"I love you, Yuuhi," Subaru thought, clenching his fist in agony.

"I'm sorry."

"I left…without saying anything…because I didn't want to face the reality…" Subaru continued after his pause when he finished narrating what happened years ago.

"…that you're also my younger sister!"

Hiroto was taken aback when Subaru finally revealed the truth that Yuuhi had been desperately trying to change and hide from everyone else. As he tried to escape, Hiroto accidentally stepped on a soda can to reveal his hiding spot. Yuuhi and Subaru turned to where the noise came from and found Hiroto standing there, his expression easy to read for he looked stunned and wounded.

Yuuhi ran away once again as more tears streamed out of her face. Subaru followed after her, but Hiroto stood behind and dropped to his knees, still trying to accept the situation.

"Yuuhi's…Kirari's…twin?"