Chapter Thirty Five

"So how's it going on the new guy front?"

Newt lifted his head and threw her a suspicious glance, but her sapphire eyes weren't glittering the way they did when she teased. If anything she looked a little… down.

"He's… nice." he admitted uncomfortably, looking away and busying himself with the little silver screws on his mouthpiece.

Teresa gave a quiet little sigh. Newt looked at her again, taking in her quiet disposition, and determined to find out what was wrong.

"You look like you've had bad news, Tee. What's got ya so blue?"

She frowned a little, meeting his concerned gaze before looking away again and fidgeting with one of the pads on her Flute. After a moment she simply shrugged, and Newt was starting to believe she was truly too uncomfortable with whatever it was she was feeling to share it. He turned his eyes back to his instrument but made no move to complete the task of setting it up. Teresa's head stayed down and he pretended not to see the way she fiddled with her thumbnail.

But then she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth before sighing again.

"I know Soulmates are… well, Soulmates. And I know I can't really talk because I've found Minho. But I just… I guess I just believed you and Tom would somehow work out, despite not being Soulmates. I just… I think you two are perfect and I just… I dunno."

He looked at her and she looked back at him. Her blue eyes were uncharacteristically nervous, a rare reminder that Teresa wasn't made of steel the way she would have them think. Sometimes, sometimes like this, he realised just how… vulnerable she could be.

"Is that awful of me?"

Newt shook his head, reaching out hesitantly to touch her arm.

"I don't think so." he told her quietly, fighting the urge to just draw away and change the subject. "You're not…" he swallowed. "You're not the only one."

She blinked, looking at him steadily, and he could almost feel that she was reading his face. She didn't look surprised as it dawned in her eyes what he was telling her.

"You finally admitted it." she said, hushed.

That time he did draw back, digging his fingers into the pockets of his hoody instead.

"Too little too late." he answered, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling. "I coulda… All this time. But I thought that… That it would only feel worse when…" he cleared his throat as his eyes began to prick. "This happened."

Teresa shifted beside him, and from the corner of his eye he could see the concern bared on his face, untainted by her usual brand of sarcasm and fun. It made it harder to see it, somehow.

"And would it?" she asked him slowly, "Feel worse than this?"

Newt closed his eyes.

"I don't think anything could feel worse the this."

She didn't say anything, instead placing one cool hand on his knee. Their practice forgotten, they sat there for a moment, Newt trying to keep the urge to cry at bay.

"I feel so guilty." he told her eventually, finally looking at her, glancing away. "I shouldn't love Tommy the way…" he stopped himself, the words he'd spoken out loud truly hitting home.

"Oh Newt." Teresa moved her chair closer, slid an arm around his shoulder to pull him into an awkward, soothing hug. "I know. We all know." She placed a soft kiss on his temple and squeezed him tight. "If Thomas is what you want, why not go for him? Stuff the Soulmate thing." she whispered in an almost hissed, her voice growing firm, "If you're not going to be happy with someone else then don't go for someone else. Thomas loves you too, y'know. Anybody can see it."

"Teresa…" he tried, feeling the first tears prepare to truly fall.

She sighed.

"I know. I know. I just wish you could. I wish you could just be happy with Thomas instead. I- Oh, Newt I hate the stupid names on our wrists so much for this."

"Teresa."

She sighed again, a little louder, more exasperated.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. There's nobody else here, calm down."

She held him until he drew away, wiped his face with one sleeve. Her dark eyes were heavy and unhappy and Newt felt so terrible that her unhappiness was his fault.

"Sorry." he said, and she rolled her eyes as she picked her Flute back up.

"Clarinetists are so mushy." she said, twisting her mouthpiece round until she was satisfied with it. "Bloody Reedies."

Newt chuckled, her comfortable smirk toying with the corner of her mouth as she raised the silver instrument and blew a Middle C. He readied his own instrument, testing the A before glancing her way again.

"Thanks."

In return Teresa merely rolled her eyes and played her first note, taking him with her as they began. When Aris finally showed up to help out he'd barely said Tomás's name before Teresa had snapped at him, launching into a lecture about how maybe it wasn't such a great idea to get so wound up when Newt obviously wasn't all that interested and that maybe he should be more sensitive about the fact that Newt felt torn between the two and-

"Teresa." Newt interrupted her, "That's enough."

She stopped, and just like that her scowl disappeared and she bit her lip a little before smoothing her face out with what must have been a considerable effort.

"Sorry." she said, looking back at her music. "Cramps."

Newt rolled his eyes at Aris, almost sniggering at the way the younger boy scrunched his nose up and mouthed "Eew."

Of course he didn't dare let Teresa see for fear she'd give him another lecture on natural functions and how she didn't exactly choose it so shut the shuck up. He gave Newt an apologetic smile as he readied his Oboe.

"I know eight girls with my wrist-name, and that's just in my year. I've probably been a bit excited about the whole Tomás situation because Teresa's found Minho and I just want you to have your Soulmate too. I…" he fidgeted, glancing away uncomfortably. "Sometimes it really sucks not having mine and so maybe I projected a little. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Newt assured him as he brought his Clarinet back to his lips, even though he knew himself that his situation wasn't exactly ideal.