A/N: So, so very sorry for abandoning this story for such a long period of time. I'm going to double update, also going to update Waking Up and start some other fan fictions non-Gorillaz ones, but some different things. Seriously though sorry about the lull, hopefully people still remember this story.

For me it wasn't really that hard to tell my parents I'm gay. Okay yeah that was fucking hard, I mean two birds with one stone sort of conversation. 'Guess what mom and dad I'm gay and I'm dating that bloke you both fucking hate.'

Yeah not, not a great conversation you know. I mean my parents aren't extremely closed minded, but people sort of surprise you sometimes and not in a great way. I had to take about five or six pain killers just to make the stupid call to begin with, yeah it's dumb calling but I'm not going all that way just to tell them I'm gay and that I'm dating a guy they hate and then see that disappointment and see my mom cry and hear my dad call me an idiot and them asking questions that are dumb even by my standards. So yeah calling them was the better option, you know?

I still don't know who you are, hell maybe Murdoc will go behind my back and read this stuff.

Right back to what I was talking about. I called them yesterday, mom answered which I'm sort of happy about in a way. I stalled as much as I could, because it's a weird conversation to have especially when you're a grown man and it's over the phone and it's weird how nervous you can be over something so stupid. Even being a little stoned I still felt nervous as Hell.

When I told her I'm gay she went sort of silent then first thing she asked was if I were sure about that. Can you believe that?

Am I sure?

She sounded nervous like I just told her I have some disease or something like that and I told her I'm sure and I've been pretty sure for awhile now. She asked if it was because of Paula and Rachel then rambled on about other girls and how I can do better than them and that there are plenty of nice women out there that I can date and that if I hang around different people then I'll be better off and not think such things. I told her again that I'm gay and it has nothing to do with Rachel, Paula, or women in general. I like women and yeah I got with a lot of women, but I was usually drunk and the ones I was really with treated me like shit to my face or behind my back and I was so fucking scared of being single and lonely that I just put up with it until they left me.

By that time she put me speaker phone so her and my dad could listen to me, well they called it listening to me. Mostly though it was them interrupting to ask me what was going through my head and ask why I was giving up on girls. I finally told them I'm not single and I don't care about girls because I'm dating Murdoc.

This time they went quiet for a lot longer than when I said I was gay, like a really long time.

Weird how saying I like blokes mildly bothered and mostly confused them, but saying I'm with Murdoc just sent them into a state of shock.

Of course after that two minutes of tension filled silence my dad asked what the hell I meant I was with that thing then mom asked if Murdoc was the reason I think I'm gay. Basically mom thinks it's peer pressure and get this; my father thinks I'm an idiot because I'm with some guy like that who isn't only older than I am, but put me in the hospital twice, has made my life a living hell, stolen several of my past girlfriends, and is just generally disgusting. He doesn't get why I would be so stupid as to give up a normal life to be with some prick like Murdoc.

I told them he's been really nice to me ever since we got together, they seemed more so pissed when I told them I've been dating Murdoc for a good while now. They'd been hoping it was only a short period of time so they could shrug it off and hope he'd grow bored of me within a week or I'd come to my senses. The whole phone call was stupid and frustrating, but at least I did it. The thing that fucking hurt the most was the part where my dad told me he was disappointed in me, he never really said why. I sort of just hung up after that, I was getting sick of mom crying and asking me just stupid questions and then dad yelling at me then talking down to me like I'm too stupid to actually run my own life. They never gave that much of a shit when I dated girls who hit me or bullied me or just made me feel horrible and act weird. Is it cause it's a bloke or is it because it's this certain bloke?

I sat in my room for awhile after that was over with. Ended up tossing my phone, still need to go and look for the stupid thing later. I felt sick as hell from those stupid pills then stressing out so I went to take more, like about six or eight more. I wasn't exactly keeping count at the time, before I could take them though Murdoc came in; he fucking hates when I take too many of my pills then when he found out I'd just taken about five before hand he took them from me and said he won't give them back until I learn to use them like I should. Really dumb how somebody who is always drunk or just messed up can get so upset with me for over doing it on my pain killers. I got mad at him and told him to just fuck off, not like I really wanted him to leave, and it's not like he actually listened to me and left. He asked me what the hell was going on and I told him about the phone call with my parents and how basically they were disappointed and pissed at me because I'm giving up on women and because I'm with something like him.

He told me it took balls to do that, to tell them I'm gay.

Yeah he's right, I figured he'd be angry at me. He doesn't want anyone knowing about us, not like my parents are going to gloating to everyone they know about it.

He asked me how I was feeling. I told him I was okay, sort of; I wanted to lie and smile and tell him I was okay. I don't know why, I never really lie to Muds but I wanted to this time for whatever reason. Except when I smiled it looked awkward and when I said I was okay I couldn't look him in the eye; he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulled me against him, and kissed the top of my head. Told me I'm a horrible liar; he didn't get upset about me telling them about us, he didn't question me further, or make any types of comments. We sat there and he held me, we kissed, and I nuzzled against his neck telling him how much I love him.

I felt like complete crap until he came into my room and held me like that. It's weird how some people can do that for you, just hold you and everything goes away.