UNEXPECTED
A/N: Took your comments int0 consideration – wanting a bad Bella. We'll have to wait and see where the story take us. Just remember that Bella is still a new-born; erratic emotions and still confused about what they are. She still needs time to adjust.
Being alone only sent my thoughts into a whirlwind spiral and I watched as the night continued to flash into my mind, reminding me of my regrettable actions.
Releasing a shaky sigh, I reached forwards and wrapped my nimble fingers around the silver handle to turn off the hot spray. I, then stepped out of the glass cubicle and reached for the fluffy white robe before slipping into it. The instant warmth was short lived when the memories didn't fail to cease.
I used one hand to run my fingers through the wet tendrils that stuck to my face while using the other to wipe away the condensation fogging up the mirror. The brush of my palm then revealed a clearer reflection but it still remained blurred and distorted and I couldn't recognise the person staring back at me anymore.
I was not me anymore.
The Bella that I knew wouldn't have killed anyone or lied or threatened anyone. She wouldn't stand up for herself or fought back against anyone.
Each day I felt myself draw further away from the life that I had once known and the person that I was.
…And even though this new life made me feel strong, powerful and finally in control of my life, I knew there were one thing that did own me.
Just the mere thought of it, easily had the veins emerging and hardening the exterior under my now bloodshot eyes. Dark pupils dilated as a wild storm raged within them, brightening the scarlet that had engulfed the normal and human chocolate brown orbs.
With a trembling hand, I reached up to brush my fingers across the veins, a gasp trembling through my quivering lips, which involuntarily parted, giving me a peek at the lengthening incisors. Opening my mouth further, I released the fangs from the closed confinement and winced with them dull ache jolting through them and my gums.
I sucked in a deep breath to calm my erratic nerves and to help bring myself back.
Once that worked, I took a hair tie from the cabinet and pulled my damp darkened locks into a limp ponytail. Cold water drops were now trailing down my neck and then down my back.
When dropping my arms again, my shoulders slumped as I breathed out another fatigued sigh and with one last look at the reflection, I switched off the light. I, then left the darkness and welcomed the bright bedroom, grabbing the cocoa butter lotion on my way to the bedroom.
Falling back on the bed, I quickly lathered up my body and then mechanically slipped into the grey Charlie Brown sleep tee with black cotton shorts.
When I was done, I realised that I wasn't feeling so tired and I was in desperate need for a distraction so I picked up Stefan's copy of Steinbeck's, East of Eden, crossed my legs on the bed and flipped to the page that I had folded. My head then fell back onto the headboard as my mind was easily engulfed by the descriptive tale of Mr. Samuel Hamilton.
Just as I was starting the part where Samuel begins to talk to the twins, I was interrupted with the brush of footsteps approaching the room. "You're back early, no more people to kill?" I questioned in a sarcastic tone but kept my eyes trained on the page before me.
He sank onto the bed, making me bounce which made me lose the sentence so I turned to glare at him. He ignored the daggers I was sending him and propped up his elbow, resting his head on his palm as he looked up at me and cockily smirked, "No, covered my hit list for today"
Scoffing at his candid attitude, I flickered my gaze back to my book but he snapped it close. "Damon…" I breathed through flared nostrils, "I am tired and don't really feel like fighting"
"I know" he nodded and I watched as he straightened up and moved next to me, pushing himself up to rest his back on the headboard and stretching his legs out. "I came to talk" he announced with an unexpected wariness.
I laughed at that, "That doesn't seem to get us anywhere either"
He brought to my attention, the glass bottle on the bedside table that I hadn't noticed until he reached over me to pick it up. "Brought the vodka" he offered, shaking it in emphasis.
I stared up at him for a few seconds, searching his marble features and it was when I read into the vulnerability cracking in his icy blue eyes that I came to realise he was serious.
Without another word, I sighed and placed the book back on the bedside table and resting my hands on my lap as I waited for his next move. He simply nodded in encouragement so I took the bait with an eager nod, "Fine" I snatched the bottle from his hands and opened it so I could draw in a large gulp of the burning taste, much to his amusement.
"Can I start?"
"Sure" he nodded, wearing an amused smirk but his apprehensive eyes told a different story. The anxiety radiating off him, made me second-guess my actions but my curious nature didn't want to let this go.
I began to feel somewhat excited in being able to figure him out and learning more about the man that he was. "How did Katherine come into your lives?" I finally asked what had prominently burned a hole in my thoughts, ever since I found out about Katherine.
At first, I expected some hesitation but his reply with quipped and almost rehearsed. "She came to us in 1864, claimed she was an orphan and needed a place to stay. My father had invited her to stay with us" he paused and ran his fingers through his wispy locks when adding, "She first met Stefan, I was at war at the time"
"Who dated her first?"
He smirked, "I don't think so" he wagged his finger at me disapprovingly, "It's my turn" he offered a complacent smile which quickly fell as he grew solemn when taking advantage of his turn. "How did you meet the Cold Ones?"
Of course, I had expected this to be one of his questions but I suppose I hadn't mentally prepared myself for it. This explained why I needed a little liquor encouragement before replying, "I moved back to Forks to live with my dad and I met the Cullens at High School"
He was taken back with this confession as he wondered aloud, "High school?"
It was my turn to mock him as I mirrored his actions of wagging my finger patronisingly at him, "I don't think so. My turn" my reply was met with him rolling his eyes but still didn't stop me, "Who dated her first?" I repeated my previous question which had been rudely interrupted.
He reached for the bottle but answered before drinking, "Can't be sure. I'm sure both of our answers differ" he shrugged and before I could say anything else, he turned the tables back to me, "How long were you and Edmund together?" he mused with a raised brow and took his waylaid sip, sighing at the after taste.
"Edward" I corrected with a resounding gulp, "And it was a bit over two years" I added nonchalantly but then quickly focused back onto him. "Did you know that Katherine was seeing Stefan?"
"I know what you're thinking" he read into the judgemental look, I unintentionally sent him and shot back his own grimace when replying. "...but part of me always thought maybe she'd realise that she didn't need him and that it was real for me. I didn't need to be compelled like she did with Stefan" he had a faraway look when his glazed gaze trailed off. "It was real for me" he whispered, looking the most vulnerable I had ever seen him. Each of those five words seemed to crumble more of the walls that he continuously fought to hold up.
I'd been so deep in thought, scrutinising how each feature fell that I almost jumped when he whipped his stare back onto me. "How come Edmu-ward didn't turn you?"
…and just like that, the most real part of him was shadowed behind his mask.
"He didn't want that life for me" I murmured, still worried about him.
My words seemed to strike a pang of guilt sparking in his eyes but that too was glazed over as he broke out, "That's a load of-"
"Why did Katherine leave?" I cut him off, not wanting or needing to hear his opinions on the matter.
He was silent for a moment but kept to his promise when painfully admitting, "I've wondered the same thing for the past 140 years" he then began to voice his ideas on the situation, "Maybe she doesn't know where I am? Maybe she's looking for me…?" Damon sounded almost wistful.
"You can't keep doing that to yourself" I placed a comforting hand on his, wanting to take away the anguish that battled within him.
He pretended not to notice my touch. Instead, he continued on with his part of the interrogation, "Why did Edward leave?" he retorted.
"He decided I wasn't good enough so I moved on" I replied truthfully.
Damon's scoff had me pulling away from him. He also ignored my hurt expression and sneered at me, "I found you drinking yourself to oblivion. I took you to the hotel. You found out I was a vampire and you were ready to die" he released another humourless chuckle. "You call that moving on?"
"It's better than what you're doing" I responded, blinking away the angry tears brimming in my eyes.
He lifted his back off the headboard and leaned towards me so that he could cast his menacing glare onto me, probably with the intention of scaring me into being quiet as he taunted, "And what am I doing exactly?"
Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of thinking he could scare me, I found the words finally breaking through, "You will stop at nothing until you find her! You don't think about who you hurt in the process! And now…" I stopped myself and stared at him with my breath quickening and my heart racing.
"Now what?" he snarled at me.
"Katherine and Elena look exactly the same!" I exclaimed, shooting up from the bed and placing my hands on my hips to glare at him, "How can think that it's okay?"
"Why is it so bad?" his octave was raised defensively but he didn't give me a chance to answer when masking his frustration with a mischievous expression and a small smirk, "Are you jealous?"
"NO!" I shouted but then lowered my voice, "No, Damon" I shook my head, still panting heavily as I tried to gather my thoughts. I could feel his eyes on me as I continued to even out my breaths and sure enough when looking up at him, I found that he was staring back. Locking eyes with him again, I whispered my reply, "It's wrong because you're falling for Elena"
This didn't sit too well with him because he jumped off the bed, landing on the other side as he cried out his frustration, "Never mind, we're done here!"
"Yeah" I nodded and picked up the book and called back to him, "Yeah we are"
He slammed the door behind him and I listened to his heavy steps trail down the staircase. Another door slam and then another door slam before I heard the revving of the engine and the squeal of his tires as he drove away.
I quickly wiped away the stray tears that dampened my cheeks.
The book that was in my hands was then flung across the room when releasing a frustrated groan and then falling back on the bed. I simply laid there, staring up at the ceiling as I tried to get a grip on myself but it felt like each emotion was now gripping me and closing into me.
Apparently, I couldn't get a minute of peace because the silence was broken with the shrill sound of my ringtone.
Fumbling around, I picked up the phone from the top drawer and subconsciously pressed the answer button before lifting it to my ear, "Hello?" I winced at how gruff the greeting was as it scraped against my sore throat.
"What exactly is your definition of later?"
A sob left with the sound of his voice. "Jake" I sobbed again which sounded like a mixture of a cry and an amused laugh. I didn't realize how much I had actually missed him. "Urgh, I'm sorry, I forgot" I wiped away the tears again and gave him a vague explanation, "I've just had a lot on my plate recently"
Three was a newfound urgency in his tone when he heard the stress underlying mine. "What's wrong?"
I pushed myself up with one hand and copied Damon's previous position by resting my back on the headboard and allowing my head to fall back. "Are you sure you want to know?" I laughed sourly, fighting against the threatening tears.
Damn these emotions!
"Bells, you can tell me anything" he pleaded.
I exhaled, considering the idea of telling him everything but now didn't seem like the right time. "I'm not sure this is a conversation to have on the phone"
"Fine" he sounded defeated and when I thought that the conversation would be drawing to an end, Jacob surprised me with his following words. "Then open the window" he ordered with a smile in his voice.
Stunned, I whipped my head around and raced toward the window to part the velvet curtains. I felt excitement overwhelm my sadness when gasping at the dark figure looming outside. Without wasting another second, my fingers had grasped the lock and had turned it so I could hastily push the window open.
"You're here" I grinned but then moved a step to the left, allowing him to fling himself through, landing into the room with a small sigh.
Once he found his balance, he stretched up to meet my gaze. He cocked his head to the side and flashed me the warm grin that I knew too well and grown to love. "Hey Bells" he finally greeted me.
"Jake", this time it was a low strangled sob. Salty tears stung my eyes when I flashed forwards and wrapped my arms around him, desperately clinging to the life that I had known.
A/N: Yay! Bella's past is catching up to her – will Damon appreciate the half-naked muscled werewolf living under his roof? What do you think? Review for more.