Author's Note: Thank you, Unnamed Guest and vausesandspanishharlem, for the lovely reviews on the last chapter. I really appreciate that. Anyway, here's the next one. Pretty much just spent the past six+ hours writing it...determined to get it done tonight and I did. It's mostly comfort...probably a shit chapter, I'm sorry. Feel free to review and let me know your thoughts. Really appreciate those. Especially on this one, since I'm note sure what I think. Thanks. Enjoy.
Chapter Thirty-Six
It isn't long before Lorna's sent home from the hospital with instructions to rest and hold an icepack to her head every couple of hours. The whole drive she rests her slightly aching head on the rim of the window. Eyes gaze out at the passing surroundings. Exhaustion sets in. She sighs, placing her hands onto her rather small baby-bump. Still in disarray on what to do about him. What to do about attempting to visit her family again.
Stopped at a red light, not far from their home, Nicky slightly turns her head to take a long look over the silent brunette. She sucks in a deep breath of air and slowly exhales. Her hand gently reaches over to cover overtop of her fiancée's. "Feelin' okay? Is your head in any pain, doll?" Fingers brush feathery around pale knuckles underneath.
Oh, her head's in pain alright…mentally, the younger woman thinks to herself. So much is running through her mind that it physically ails her. She lifts her head somewhat to meet the other's gaze. Forces a smile to take form on her face. It's easier to lie than to submit to her emotions, she quietly says to herself. "Just wanna get back home and have a cuppa coffee. That'll help."
"We'll be home in a few," Nicky tells her with a small sigh. Certainly not believing the smile that she wears. She lovingly lifts the hand she holds up to her lips, letting them stroke tenderly over each of her knuckles. "A cup of coffee and some cuddles is the perfect cure for your head pain, don't ya think kid?"
Nodding her head slowly, Lorna gives another small smile in direction of her lover. This one that doesn't need to be forced, she realizes. "I like the sound a that—with a movie?"
"Sure kid…as long as it's not too cheesy," the redhead mentions with a light-hearted chuckle, patting her hand softly over the one that rests underneath it.
A small laugh tumbles from the younger woman's throat at such a comment. She nods while turning her head to gaze across at her red-haired lover. A thoughtful expression forms on her porcelain face. "Would it be okay to stop at the bakery for a coffee? I haven't been there in a couple a weeks now," she points out, rearranging their hands so that hers is on top.
"Of course," Nicky murmurs, smiling warmly over at the Italian before focusing back on the road. She drives down it, past their apartment complex, and makes a right turn a few blocks away. "Anything to make you happy, my doll. Red will be happy to see ya."
The sound of the bell's ringing above the entrance door quickly gains the attention of a busy Russian baker. Immediately she pauses what she's doing and lifts her head to meet gaze with Nicky and Lorna. Rather promptly a smile takes form on her face. She walks over to greet them, opening her arms to encircle around the pair eagerly.
"My girls," she gleefully exclaims, embracing them snugly in her arms. A soft kiss is pressed to the top of each of their heads. "What a lovely surprise this is. You want two coffees? I just put a fresh batch in before you stopped."
Lorna nods her head enthusiastically. Oh how her body craves the taste of a fresh cup of coffee. She shuts her eyes at the delightful thought of that first, heavenly, sip. "I would certainly love one, Red. I haven't had coffee since yesterday morning…I need a cup," she honestly responds, eyes dreamily following the scent of freshly brewed coffee.
Releasing the two from her arms, Red smiles as she heads back on the other side of the counter to prepare cups of the bold beverage. Her eyes look out towards Nicky. "You want one too, I assume?"
"Do I ever say no to coffee?" Nicky throws a playful smirk at her mother and wraps a protective arm around her fiancée's shoulder, leading her closer the front of the sales counter.
Taking two ceramic mugs from the cabinet above where the coffee pot sits, Red shakes her head with a small chuckle. She fills one with two packets of Splenda and some creamer while leaving the other bare. "Never have. I don't see how you drink it the way you do, Nicky. At least Lorna mixes hers to make it somewhat drinkable," she states with a warm laugh.
Lorna lightly laughs at the comment, grabbing a hold of Nicky's hand in the process.
"I prefer the bitter taste of plain coffee. It reminds me of the cigarettes I used to smoke and I miss that. At least this stuff is not harming my lungs, yeah?"
"Thank God for that," Red admits, pouring the dark liquid into both mugs. She carefully carries them over, handing them across to both young women. "Don't even think about getting out your wallets, either of you. I can't charge my family." She fixes herself a cup of tea and follows them out to a table.
Sitting in the chair across from the couple, she lets her eyes search over them meticulously. Her hand brings the mug to her lips for a long sip. "So, what have the pair of you been up to? Lorna, how's the pregnancy treating you?"
The girls exchange glances before focusing back on the Russian matron. Lorna sucks in a breath, not keen on the idea of bringing up the happenings of the last evening. Knowing she doesn't want to relive that anguish just yet. She holds on fiercely to her mug and lifts it to her face, sipping it longingly. "It's okay…I guess. I really have no idea what I wanna do anymore."
"About what?" Red questions with arched eyebrows. She takes another slow sip of her tea.
Lorna sighs. "About the baby. I-I don't know if I wanna keep him anymore. I don't—I don't think I can. I'm sorry, Red…I know you were kinda excited about being a babushka and everything," the words jumble from her mouth; she bows her head, not sure she can look the middle-aged woman in the eyes. Not wanting to see the disappointment. The disapproval.
Hearing that instantly has Nicky's arm tighten around her waist. She looks over at her mother on the other side, trying to decipher her expression.
"Oh, honey, that's nothing to be sorry for," Red softly assures, her features much gentler than usual. She reaches a hand over to place soothingly on top of Lorna's faintly tremoring one. Her eyes peer strongly ahead into darker ones. To see the slight fear that seems to be lurking inside of the younger woman's all but breaks her heart. She brushes her thumb softly over her knuckles. "You don't have to worry about that. What's important is what you want to do. This is your baby, your decision to make. Are you looking to put him up for adoption?"
The words are reassuring and should ease the pang in her chest, Lorna knows. But none of that makes this any easier. Any less demanding. "I know…I just—when Nicky told ya the baby's gender…you were real happy and excited. Now, I'm ruining that by choosing to not be his mom. I feel like shit. I'm ruining so much by making this choice—it hurts. I wish I woulda never got pregnant in the first place," she truthfully admits. Life would be so much easier if she didn't have this baby in her womb, she thinks.
"Lorna, what matters is what you want. You can't raise a baby you don't truly want…and that's okay. That's why there is adoption. Someone out there will want to raise this little boy and you will give them that gift. Stop with this ruining kinda talk—you didn't ruin anything, sweetheart. You didn't choose to end up in this situation. Remember that. By choosing to give him up for adoption….that means you're putting your baby first. You should be proud of your decision."
The brunette stares down into her mug, watching the tiny beads of liquid drip down along the sides. She wants so bad to believe those words. To know that she didn't choose to be where she is at this point in time. She didn't choose to be impregnated by her abuser…to have his son growing inside her womb.
"Why couldn't that idiot justa used a condom at least? Did he want to end up with a baby? I don't understand the logic."
Nicky places a hand soothingly overtop of the smaller woman's, caressing it softly with her thumb. She peers intently down at her, loathing to see her inwardly suffering the way she seems to be. "He's an evil piece a shit, doll. He deliberately didn't use one because he wanted you to end up carrying his baby…to keep this hold over you. Like the asshole he really is. He wants to watch you suffer. But he's not getting that satisfaction. You're stronger than he thinks."
Red nods her head to her daughter's words. Eyes never once looking away from Lorna. She takes her mug and has another sip of the warm tea. "My daughter speaks words of wisdom. You are a very strong young lady, Lorna. You're making a choice that will benefit both you and the baby. It's a hard decision, yes, but you know in your heart what will work best for you."
"I wish I was able to believe you guys. But if I was as strong as you say…I wouldn't have the mental illness I do, would I?"
Both women give a firm stare. Each shaking their heads in correspondence to her words. "Not even close, kid. Having a mental illness does not take away from how strong you are. Please stop thinking that way, Lorna baby. It's not good for you. You did not get this illness from being weak…ya got this because of all the fucking trauma and abuse you've endured. No one—no matter how damn strong—can handle what you did without some kinda coping mechanism. Yours just happened to be creating separate identities."
Shaking her head, Lorna exhales a disgruntled breath. She grabs onto her temples and massages them furiously, in a way that almost leaves red marks on her flesh.
"Stop it, baby—you're gonna hurt yourself," Nicky sternly commands, covering the other's hands with her own and softly pulling them away from her head.
"I can't. All of this shit is making my headache worse," Lorna cries out, her face red with both a bubbling rage and agony. She picks her mug up and lifts it towards her mouth for a furious sip. Her skin boils with an untamable anger it feels like. All she wants is to scream until her lungs fall out. Until the entire building crumbles to the ground from such a loud and piercing decibel.
Fully encircling the petite brunette into her strong arms, Nicky lets out a sigh. She should have just driven them home, she realizes. After the ordeal of last evening, what her lover truly needs is to rest in the security of their apartment. To not have to think about anything but taking care of herself. "Maybe it was not such a good idea to stop here then. Shoulda just listened to Gloria and taken ya home to rest, yeah? Now you're in worse shape. Finish your coffee and we'll head out, yeah? We need to get some ice for your head, doll."
The comment immediately causes concern to grow on Red's face. She folds her arms over her chest, arches her eyebrows puzzlingly over both of her eyes. "Where'd you girls see Gloria? Were you at the hospital? And you didn't mention this to me? What happened?"
"Nothing," Lorna quickly responds.
Nicky tilts her head slightly, staring down at her with a sternness seeping through her brown orbs. "It's not nothing, kid," she mutters before turning her head to look across at her mother. "Lorna hit her head on the car yesterday…and so I took her to the hospital to be safe. Turns out she has a small concussion. Gloria said the best thing for her is to go home and rest with some ice. But here we are," she moves her arms around to prove her point.
"Oh, no, you poor thing Lorna. I'm sorry to hear that. In that case, it's best you two get going. Here, I'll put your coffees in to-go cups," Red comments, quickly taking both of their mugs and carrying them to the back with her.
It isn't long before she's bringing them back their plastic travel cups of coffee. She hands them to both girls. Her arms wrap around the pair of them, giving a fast embrace and a maternal kiss atop each of their heads before releasing them. "One of these days the two of you need to come over for dinner again. I miss visiting with my girls," she suggests, watching as the couple slowly makes their way nearer the door. "For now, go home and rest up. Nicky, I'm sure, you'll be taking great care of Lorna. If you two need anything, don't hesitate to call me."
"Don't worry, ma, we won't. And you bet I'll be taking good care a her. I love her more than anything," Nicky assures with a soft smile. She waves her hand at Red. "I love you, ma. Maybe in a few days we'll call about coming for dinner or something, yeah?"
The minute they enter inside their home, Nicky lovingly orders Lorna to go rest on the living room sofa. She watches her leave through the archway before going to the freezer to grab a handful of ice that she places in a zip-block-bag. She retrieves a towel from the drawer beside the sink and wraps it around the bag of ice. Quickly, she makes her way into the living room. Her eyes find Lorna lying against the cushions, head buried under a mountain of blankets and pillows.
She goes over, kneeling on the floor beside her and gently lifting the blankets from her face. "I have some ice for ya," she informs her, holding up the very bag. "Is the pain getting worse? Is that why you're hiding under all a this, doll?" Bending down, she pecks her lips tenderly over Lorna's cheek. Stroking the tips of her fingers lovingly along its flesh.
"I don't know what is, Nicky. I-I feel like death—it's throbbing so bad, nothing helps," the brunette cries out. Her eyes not opening in fear of the bright light strengthening her pain.
Without a second thought, Nicky lays down on the couch beside her and scoops Lorna onto her chest. She places the ice-pack gently on top of the small bump that sits on the right side of her head. "I'm sorry, my baby," her voice murmurs softly into her ear as she rests her head soothingly over top of the younger woman's. She lets her fingers comb delicately through dark waves of hair. "You're stressed out, pregnant, and have a concussion…not the best combination, sweetie. What ya need most right now is to let me give you some love, yeah? Just shut your eyes and don't think about a thing. Let me do the stressing, okay?"
Lorna shakes her head. If only it was that easy, she thinks. If only she could just lay there and wipe herself of all thoughts. What a treat that would be. But that's all it is…a hopeful, wistful, thought. No matter how hard she tries to relax herself, she can't. The stress never leaves—it only gets stronger and stronger.
"I wish it was that easy."
"It is, baby. Just focus your thoughts on something different. Something that makes you feel at peace."
Grabbing onto her shoulders, Lorna opens her eyes to stare up at her widely. "Like what? I can't think about anything other than all this shit. The baby, seeing my family…and Mikey. God. It won't fucking stop, Nicky."
Brushing her lips softly over her temple, Nicky gazes down with soft eyes. She cups her hand tenderly around her cheek; fingers caress lightly around its flesh. "That's because you won't let it stop. You're too consumed in it. And you shouldn't be. You need to think about something else," she whispers warmly, hoping to soothe the obvious anger. "You don't need this stress right now, Lorna. It's not helping…it's hurting you."
"Ya don't think I fucking know that? I'm ready to fucking explode! I can't handle any of this shit. I wanna end it all," Lorna yells. Her hands rigorously rub at her temples, the rage continuing to grow in intensity. The stronger the headache…the angrier she feels.
"Calm down, baby. I know this isn't easy on ya…I know and I'm sorry. I wish I could do something more—"
"Beat me until I'm not here anymore. Kill me, please."
The comment immediately has alarm bells going off in Nicky's head. Her arms tighten tremendously around Lorna's small waist, pulling her even closer against her own body. She rests her forehead lovingly against the other's. Eyes stare fiercely into rage-filled ones. "Absolutely not, Lorna. Why the hell would ya even say that? What's going on in that precious head a yours, huh? Talk to me, sweetheart."
Hands tremble as they grip unsteadily onto the cotton shirt underneath her. Lorna peers up at her with bewildered eyes and a heavily red face. "If I die, the baby dies. It's a win-win, isn't it?"
Nicky shakes her head furiously. Her eyes search the brunette's intensely. Trying to understand where all these thoughts are coming from. She thought they worked past this. But now sees how wrong such an assumption was. "On what world? I don't want you to die, Lorna. I love you more than anything on this fucking planet…how can ya even say something like that? Please…help me understand what's going on. Why are you talking this way, baby? What happened?"
"I can't handle any of this anymore—that's the fucking problem. I can't do this. It's too much!" Lorna hisses, forcing herself out of her arms and running down the hall towards the bathroom.
She frisks her way into the room, shutting and locking the door behind her. Her heart pounds heavily in her chest. It feels as though her entire life is crumbling right in front of her and there's nothing she can do but watch. Nothing she can do to stop herself from sabotaging her own life it seems like. She searches the room for some sort of sharp object.
Terrified at her fiancée's outburst and actions, Nicky runs after her and stops in front of the shut bathroom door. She can feel her heart-rate rise dramatically at such a sight. The situation only seems to be getting worse, she realizes. Immediately, she starts pounding her fist on the door once she notices that it's locked. "Lorna…open this damn door right now! I will fucking break it down if ya don't let me in," she commands firmly. Afraid for what the petite Italian might try to do to herself.
The demand only brings terror over Lorna. Brings her back to the times she hid away from Vinny. Hearing him scream at her through the door. Telling her to let him in or he'd beat her. "Go away, Vinny," she screams back without even thinking.
Go away Vinny? The words repeat in Nicky's mind. And then it hits her. She covers her mouth in disbelief of herself. Her demeanor quickly softens as she knocks a little quieter on the door. "Baby, I'm not Vinny… I'm Nicky," her voice merely a murmur against the wooden object that separates the two of them. "I didn't mean to scare ya—I just, I need you to open the door. Please. Let me in, doll. I wanna help you."
"No," she whispers, grabbing a hold of a pair of scissors she finds in one of the drawers. "Leave me alone. Please. I'm fine."
Nicky shakes her head. An empty laugh squeaks out of her throat at such a comment. A comment that couldn't be farther from the truth. Lorna isn't fine—not even close, she knows. "Doll baby, if you were fine you wouldn't be begging me to kill you," she soothingly points out, resting her head against the door. A sigh escapes from her lungs. She wants nothing more than to throw open the door and pull her lover into her arms. To never let her out of them again.
Eyeing the scissors with searing intensity, Lorna slowly moves it closer to her flesh. Lets the sharp blade press against her skin. Not enough to cut it but enough for her to know it's there. "I'm fine," she repeats, yet even she doesn't believe it at this point. No sane person would contemplate sticking a sharp object into her skin the way she's doing. No sane person would wish death on herself.
"No, baby, you aren't. Let me in so I can take you to bed. Come on, come here please."
Hearing that alarms the brunette highly. She climbs into the empty bath tub and sits on the ground, pulling her knees up to her chest. Scissors still held tightly in her hands. "Why? So ya can have your way with me? Ya wanna touch me and hurt me?"
"No, no, of course not—sweetie, I would never ever do anything to hurt you," Nicky huskily assures, drawing a circle around the wood that makes up the frame of the door. "I meant so I can take you to bed to get some sleep, yeah? You're not thinking clearly, Lorna baby…exactly why ya needa open this door and come with me. A good night's rest is what ya need. Please?"
Lorna shakes her head as if the other can see her. The sharp edge of the scissors finally makes a deep cut through the skin of her arm. Such a sensation somewhat calms her frantic mind. Takes an edge off all the stress and anguish. "I'm mental. That's what ya mean, huh? I'm losing it, Nicky. I'm gonna fuck up this baby—my whole family has. He's cursed."
Cheeks moistening, Nicky realizes tears are falling from her eyes. A rare occasion. She swallows thickly. Unsure of what she can do to get Lorna to open that god forsaken door. What she can do to take all of this away from her…to make things better. It hurts worse than anything to know how bad the woman she loves is hurting. "No, that's not what I mean. I mean you're not thinking clearly because ya still have a concussion and need to be resting. Please open this door," she pleads.
"No. Go. Let me be. I'm fine, Nicky."
"What're ya doing in there? Are you hurting yourself?"
Moving the scissors down to her trembling legs, Lorna rests her head over top of her knees. "No," she lies, digging the sharp end into the flesh of her right leg. "I'm fine."
"Listen, Lorna, if ya don't let me in, I'm calling Alex and telling her to come over to help me get ya out. Ya understand? I don't trust you in there by yourself. Not the way you're talking. You are far from fine. You need to open this damn door so I can get you outta there and give you the comfort you need."
"All I need is myself right now. I'm meditating. Now go, please. Let me have my peace. Everything hurts and I need it to stop."
Nicky grits her teeth in agony. She wipes furiously at her own tears. Hearing the brokenness that makes up the majority of her lover's voice shatters her heart more than she ever imagined. "I know, baby doll…I know you're hurting so bad—that's why I need you to let me in. So I can hold you and snuggle you, yeah? Isn't that better than suffering in there alone? Don't ya wanna be cuddled, my sweetheart?"
Tears quickly begin to flow from the petite brunette's eyes. She buries her head deeper into her arms and legs, still holding the scissors against her skin. "I don't deserve any a that, hon," her voice muffled by her sniffles and clothing.
The ache in her chest only worsens at such a heartrending comment. "Of course ya do, Lorna. You deserve everything good in the world. Especially to be in cuddled in my arms—where you're safe from every evil thing. You deserve to be loved, sweetie. Is that why ya locked yourself in here? You think you're not worthy of being cuddled by me?"
"I don't think…I know," Lorna mumbles through her cries.
"Baby…" Nicky cries, hands gripping onto the doorknob and shaking it violently. "That is the biggest lie in the world. You are the worthiest human being ever to be given cuddles. You have endured the most evil acts a person can endure…you deserve all the love and affection there is. Come on now, let me in. Let me take care a you. You need me, you're hurting."
The brunette doesn't move from her spot. Albeit longing for the physical contact, she knows she doesn't deserve that kind of love. No one should have to settle for someone like her, she tells herself. No one should have to be stuck with a mentally broken person.
Becoming antsier by the second, Nicky knocks loudly on the door. "You have five seconds to open this door. If ya don't, I'm calling Alex and telling her to come over. Ya hear me? This is becoming a problem, doll. You can't do this kinda shit. It makes me worry for you. You need help, my sweet baby. It's so obvious there are deeper roots to your problems, yeah?"
"Help will never fix me. I'm too fucked up, Nicky. I'm worthless now. There's nothing left. Just go, okay?"
Nicky reaches in her pocket for her phone. "I'm not going anywhere, baby doll. I'm staying right here with you because I love you with every cell, bone, fiber in my body. You need me more than ever…my poor baby. I'm calling Alex, and we're gonna take care of you. We're gonna help ya through whatever this is, yeah?"
An hour passes before the door to the bathroom is finally removed to reveal a seemingly empty room. Nicky and Alex quickly enter inside, following the faint sniffles that lead to the tub. The redhead reaches a hand in front of her to pull back the curtain. What she sees has a fresh batch of tears come pouring down her cheeks. She yanks the pair of scissors roughly out of Lorna's shaky grasp.
To see what her best friend has done to herself is enough to leave Alex momentarily speechless. Her hand covers her gaping mouth to see the blood spattered beneath the brunette's legs, stained against the bottom of the empty tub. She shakes her head heart-brokenly. "Oh, Lorna," she whispers, "why would ya do this?"
Lorna doesn't budge from her spot, keeping her eyes focused straight ahead of her.
To see her in this state causes a lump to form in Nicky's throat. She swallows uncomfortably. Her hand gently rests on Lorna's forehead. "What were ya doing with those scissors, baby? Tell us what ya did, pretty girl."
Rubbing her own temples, Alex stares down at her friend with an overpowering empathy. She rests a hand comfortingly against one of her flushed cheeks. To see her like this, it's one of the most painful sensations. Rips her heart to know how much Lorna's hurting. "We're here for you…whatever ya say, neither of us will judge you. Just—just talk to us, baby. What made you do this?"
The youngest woman opens her mouth and closes it. Lips tremble as she tries to piece together some sort of a response.
"Hey, hey," Nicky soothes, placing a hand on the tip of Lorna's chin. She lifts it slightly so that their eyes lock together. "It's okay. Don't be scared. You can tell us what you did. We both wanna help. We love you and just wanna do whatever we can to take care a you, doll baby."
Lorna doesn't say anything but slightly turns her head to look fearfully up at the black-haired woman. The last thing she wants is for her best friend to see her this way. For her to see her in a suicidal state like this. She knows this will only cause her pain and that's the last thing she wants to do to a person who's been more like family to her than her own.
Seeing those brown eyes filled with terror only pulls harder on Alex's heartstrings. She caresses her palm soothingly along the flesh of her friend's cheek. "Nicky's right, kid. You don't need to be scared. We're both here for ya. What…what were ya doing with the scissors?"
"Cut…cut the skin," the Italian mumbles, eyes gazing down at the bottom of the vacant tub.
"You cut the skin? On your legs?" Nicky softly inquiries, letting her lips stroke over Lorna's forehead with a radiating warmth.
Lorna nods slowly, not moving her eyes away from where they stare.
Swallowing thickly, Alex shares a horrified glance with Nicky. Not sure how to comprehend such a gut-wrenching confession from her best friend. To realize that the pains so intense that she's resorted to physically causing it herself now. Her fingers wipe at the tears that fall along the porcelain cheek she cups.
Nicky lets out a sigh. Not knowing how to comprehend the news herself. Sure, she's had other patients who used cutting as a coping mechanism…but this—this is her fiancée. Her soul-mate. She can't fathom how Lorna can turn to something like this. It feels like the worlds turning in on her. She inhales a sharp breath.
"Why, Lorna, why'd ya do this? What made you wanna hurt yourself like this?"
"I told ya, Nicky. I can't handle this anymore. Everything hurts. The only thing that'll help is for me to die."
Alex bites the side of her mouth. Hearing her friend talk like this…it hurts worse than anything. She grabs onto Lorna's shoulders and peers intensely down into her dark orbs. "Dying isn't the solution, Lorna. You can hurt but you can't fucking try some shit like this. You have too many people who love and care about you for you to think about taking your life. Not again will ya try that," she assures her fiercely, tears slowly forming in her eyes at even the mere thought.
"Baby, when you hurt this bad—please talk to Nicky or call me. Don't fucking let it sit inside of ya like ya do. You know this is not good for you. What will help you is letting the people who love you comfort you."
Nodding her agreement, Nicky turns her head to look at the teary-eyed Alex. "Oh, I told her that. But guess what? Lorna here says she doesn't think she's worthy of being cuddled and loved. Thinks all she deserves is pain." Her head shakes solemnly at the thought.
The tears only multiply in number after hearing such. Blue eyes stare down over her best friend in nothing but compassion for her. She throws her arms instinctively around the girl's petite waist. "You are more than worthy of being held and snuggled, kid. You are the sweetest person on this entire planet…how—how can ya ever think that you deserve any ounce of pain? What's going on with you today? What's the matter? You haven't had a bad day like this in quite a while…did something happen?" She pulls Lorna to her, letting her head rest against her chest. Her eyes glance over the brunette at Nicky with an inquisitive eyebrow.
"I don't know. She has a small concussion but I don't think that's capable of this…maybe it's the mix of pregnancy hormones, that, and her mental illness?"
"Concussion? What the fuck? That's news to me… How'd that happen?"
Lorna shifts uneasily in her friend's arms, trying to free herself. "I'm fine," she interjects.
Alex shakes her head and pulls her closer. She gives a maternal kiss atop her head while brushing her hands soothingly through her dark waves of hair. "You're not fine. Just relax. Let me give you comfort. Close your eyes and calm down. We need to get you cleaned up and then you're gonna go lay down, yeah?"
Nicky goes over to the medicine cabinet to get a bottle of disinfectant spray and a box of bandages. She carries both back over to where Lorna rests in her best friend's arms. Kneeling down in front of her, she carefully gets to work at cleaning out the bleeding cuts on her legs. "Poor baby," she murmurs, eyes looking sadly over the self-inflicted bruises that make-up her lover's pale flesh.
"I hate hurting you, baby, but I have to clean these cuts. I'm so sorry if it stings."
Smothering the top of Lorna's head in soothing kisses, Alex hopes it distracts her from such an unpleasant situation. She combs a hand delicately through her dark waves of hair.
Once they are all cleaned out and bandaged up, the two older women cautiously help Lorna into her bedroom. Alex gently lays her against the mattress, resting her hand soothingly over forehead and stroking it with the tips of her fingers. "Get some sleep, Lorn. You need it. You've had a rough evening, honey."
Nicky watches the tender moment between best friends with admiration. She can't stop the small, sad, smile that sits on her face at such a precious sight. It gives her comfort to know that her lover will always have Alex by her side. Someone who can help her in times when she might not be able to.
Sitting on the other side of Lorna, she lifts the comforter and brings it up to gently wrap around her small body. Her face bends down so that she can give a loving kiss onto her cheek. "We're right here. Anything you need, my baby, you just tell us. We'll take care of you. Close your precious eyes and sleep. You'll feel better after a good rest. I promise, sweetie."
"Please, please, don-don't leave me," the brunette sniffles. Eyes looking tearfully up at the two older girls. The two people who mean more to her than anything. The people who are always there to get her through the pain and anguish, it seems.
Rubbing her thumb slowly along her forehead, Alex peers down at her in compassion. "We're not leaving. We just want ya to get some sleep. I promise we'll be right here when ya wake up, yeah? It's okay. You're safe here. You're safe, Lorna."
Lying down next to her, on her side, Nicky reaches out to frame her hands softly around each of her cheeks. She rests her forehead lovingly over Lorna's and takes a minute to just peer intently into her brown orbs. To take in every inch of her face. Everything that makes Lorna…Lorna. A beauty that's hard to come by, she knows.
"Close your eyes," she soothingly murmurs. Thumb stroking over and over around her porcelain face. "You're safe, doll. You're surrounded by two people who will never do a thing to cause ya harm. Two people who will always be here to give you love and comfort. Now, let's close those beautiful brown eyes and get to sleep, yeah? You're exhausted, doll baby. You need sleep. Alex and I aren't going anywhere. We'll be right here all night."
Situating herself on the other side, Alex brushes a delicate hand through her friend's dark brown waves. Combing through it over and over to help induce sleep. "Everything's okay," she whispers, "let yourself rest now. Nicky's right…you'll feel much better in the morning. Go off to sleep, honey."