And that has been Kiko's life for a good while. Spend some time in the simulation room each day to keep her spirits up despite the soul-crushing reality around her. Only half the week gives a good amount of quality time, but what can she do? While Kiko was angry over this intrusion, it wasn't really that big a deal to her once she got her wits about her. The robots might have interrupted her at a really bad time with their scheduled maintenance, but that's just to be expected when the arrangement is under the table to begin with. Hopefully, just like her cheating at the hedge maze, the robots won't report her intrusion in the simulation rooms either. It's already been a day and nothing has come of it, so she's probably in the clear. Regardless, the script could use a little work. The program is really good at generating dialogue, but it needs some more personal touches. In retrospect, the song might be from her favorite band, but it's not really meshing too well with the celestial approach. While the 'fool' could be metaphorical, it still suggests something of a master-slave relationship and that isn't how Kiko views Riku. If only she could remember something else they did that fits better. Maybe 'Little Sister', but she can barely remember the chorus of that one. Something with 'show you all my love', but it's escaping her at the moment. No matter. Plenty of time to work on the script in Tactical Awareness, with the lax teaching of none other than Professor Uina providing an easy bypass.
"...and that's the scenario," Uina finishes, the overhead projector settling on some building schematics, "Perhaps someone that hasn't answered a question yet can give this one a whirl. Someone whose mouth has probably sealed itself shut from lack of use. Kiko?"
"That one's simple," Kiko starts in a passive tone, not even bothering to look up, "You don't give us enough credit if you think we need a full team for that. We don't even need anything special."
"Excuse me?" Uina asks, sounding a bit insulted.
"There are five terrorists and six hostages," Kiko resumes, pointing at the screen with her pencil as she keeps staring down into her notebook, "Building access logs show seven official entries, the last with four guests. The timing shows that there was a sixteen minute gap between that last access and the police setting up a stake out, during which, they scanned no magic in use outside of a single type one Heartless summoner. It is extremely unlikely that any terrorist group would have people wait outside while they are rounding up potentially armed and dangerous security guards and subverting the security, especially when they're outnumbered. Terrorists that work like this are cowards by default and also don't care that much about subtlety. Then you look at the timing. The video making demands shows a clock in the background that confirms it started filming at the fourteen minute mark, with the leader and at least one camera operator in the room showcasing the six hostages. Assuming they run at an athletic speed and there weren't any guards to get in the way, it would take about five minutes to run through the hallways and get to any of the four corners of the basement with a security node. Regardless how optimistic you are, you need at least two minutes to subvert a node if it has anything close to a corporate level defense to it. If they sent four people to the basement in perfect harmony, they could have the system shut down in seven minutes without the police catching on."
"However," Kiko continues, waving her pencil from side to side, "That video was taken on the fourth floor. Since the elevator system would be shut down in the process of subverting the nodes, that means that the run from one of the corner rooms to the central basement access, up the stairs, to a main stairwell, up to the fourth floor, and to the room in question would be about six minutes. The camera would have to be set up on its tripod within one minute. During this time, the one person not subverting the nodes would have to find all the security guards, subdue them, and bring them all to that fourth floor room. With the guards spread out as they are if they follow their shifts, it would take that one man about twenty five minutes minimum. That dismisses the four person in the basement theory. Two people going for guards would take about fifteen minutes while three people would take about ten. The two people in the basement would, at best, need another six minutes to successfully subvert the system. Four minutes to run to another side and two minutes to subvert that node. This is, of course, assuming that they are perfect and have enough confidence in their ability to cut it so close in their simultaneous shutdown. An extra group would be able to enter around the thirteen minute mark, but by that point, the police have already started to show up for the stake-out and would have seen them outside."
"But how does this information matter?" Uina asks, "You ramble about something so ancillary to the situation."
"Knowing that there are five people," Kiko continues, pointing at a part of the map as she flips a page of her notebook over, "And at least one is guarding the hostages and managing the communication with the police, that leaves only one person to watch each side of the building. It's unlikely they'll even bother to post anybody to watch the front due to police procedure and the wide open space for sniping that would divert any attempt of entry. However, you can never be too sure when you deal with paranoid people like hostage taking terrorists. That's why you set up two sniper rifles on remote and arm them with low caliber rounds. Set them at the maximum accurate range and have them each target the arm of a Heartless. They should be able to non-lethally hit them, giving away the position and drawing them in. Aim for ones at the two front corners so that the whole front courtyard will be cleared out as they run for the sides."
"And the point of that is...?" Uina asks.
"Regardless who the Heartless controller is," Kiko continues, "They will have to recall the person watching the front. They need to keep the other four positions covered and the controller will have to go to both sides of the building at some point. Since they're terrorists, they'll be paranoid and want to regain control as soon as possible, so they should be busy within at most thirty seconds. One operative on our end enters through the front courtyard wearing urban camouflage and armed with a silenced tranquilizer gun, a smoke grenade, and a tear gas grenade. It should take about twenty seconds to run from the last available hiding place to the front door. There is no way that the controller can regain the Heartless by then and have somebody back on watch. The terrorists will have no reason to think that this is anything more than just the Heartless being their usual unreliable selves and will be none the wiser about the involvement of external forces."
"The operative will go to the elevator and access the maintenance shaft," Kiko continues, still not looking up, "According to the plans, it should be possible to get inside the hostage room through ventilation after climbing the shaft up three and a half levels. The ventilation ducts are wide enough for a person to fit and padded enough to not make any sound along the way. The grate leading into the room should give an accurate assessment of the targets inside, which should only be two at the most. Once the operative has a bearing, they will burst the grate open and hit the one or two hostage takers, starting with the one closest to the hostages. It should only take maybe half a second after hitting the first to get the second. Much faster than any untrained terrorist could stand to get a shot off, much less even figure out what is happening. When the leader hits the ground wearing their communication system, the other terrorists should become aware of the intrusion at this point, but they will have to spend about a minute to get back to the room. If the terrorists are smart, they will not try to enter the room until they are all gathered outside. The operative will get the hostages underneath the thick board room table and detonate both of the grenades right by the door as they wait out of range. When the terrorists burst in, they will run right into a cloud that both obstructs their vision and irritates their breathing. The operative will pick them off from there."
"Dart, dart, dart," Kiko says, making a flicking motion with her pencil with each word, "Terrorists disabled, hostages safe. One necessary person, three pieces of mundane equipment. No magic, no high technology, no million to one chance, nothing but good old fashioned training. If the Heartless don't go away, radio the police and tell them to open fire. They might just be sitting ducks for a while without a controller, but you can never be too careful when dealing with soul killing monstrosities."
"Kiko," Uina starts in a proud tone, "That is certainly an extravagant and creative way to go about this situation. Your idea plays on the weaknesses of terrorists in general and would be an absolutely stellar plan, but it has one major flaw."
"It has no flaws," Kiko responds arrogantly, starting to write something in her notebook. Uina gives an annoyed sigh and snatches it away from her with a quick snap. Kiko's focus is broken immediately, a bit of panic starting to set in as she starts to try and regain her orientation. What was she doing?
"Your plan fails to take into account the police," Uina explains, going back to the front of the classroom with the notebook in hand, "As finicky as terrorists are in maintaining hostage situations, the police are way more so in their protection of themselves and innocent civilians. It's why hostage situations always come to these standstills in the first place. The Heartless will start rushing the line after those shots hit them, prompting the police to open fire out of a perceived self-defense. It doesn't matter if you tell them what you intend to do. At least a couple of the members of the barricade are going to fire and it will escalate from there. This will lead to an assumption that negotiations have failed and the terrorists are attempting to overpower the police as part of an escape plan, prompting the snipers to take out anybody they can find watching out the windows as they send in their infiltration teams that have been on standby since the beginning. It's a guarantee that at least one of the terrorists will get killed during this, perhaps even the leader if he's the Heartless controller and does try to calm the Heartless down. At this point, the terrorists will start executing hostages to try to regain control of the situation, especially if the leader is dead. In fact, if the leader is dead, they will execute all of them at once. Terrorists without a leader are consigned to death, spiteful at the world and taking it out on everybody within their reach. They might have even brought explosives with them to detonate, destroying the building in the process. No matter how slow the reactions of anybody involved or how fast the operative works, innocent people are going to die. Mission failed."
"But... but..." Kiko starts, trying to figure out what she was saying. She hates when this happens. It's scary beyond belief to think that without any conscious effort, she'll talk with people about sensitive issues like this.
"Since you've obviously been taking notes this whole time," Uina starts, flipping through the pages, "Let's see what insight they hold... my, this is different than I expected."
"Not again," Kiko says, ducking into her desk to avoid the stares of the other classmates. Chou is watching, looking sympathetic instead of critical. Somehow, alien-girl's sympathy just makes the situation even worse. What does she understand about this? For all Kiko knows, she wants to hurt her for interrupting good class time. Uina just quietly reads the document in his hands, giving a sigh after a minute and closing the book. He saw what he needed to see.
"Well," Uina starts, his tone a mixture of annoyance and bemusement, "Everybody here except Miss Daydream Believer is far ahead of the curriculum. I'm honestly impressed with all of you. As a reward, I'm dismissing class now. Go spend the next twenty minutes reading up on your other assignments or whatever." Kiko just sits there as everybody leaves, unsure of what to do. He didn't say for her to stay, but it's usually just an assumption when a teacher acts like this. Uina starts reading his notes as he sits down on the table, not saying anything. He doesn't seem to really be searching for anything, just reading his documents for the sake of reading them. Kiko eventually decides that he probably did mean her as well if he's just going to sit there, standing up and starting to head to the door.
"I didn't say you could go," Uina calls out, stopping Kiko in her tracks, "I have something important to discuss with you."
"What?" Kiko asks, turning around to face him. He's standing back up, the notebook by his side.
"Is there anything you want to talk about?" Uina asks, his voice expecting a specific answer. Kiko hates when people do this. So much.
"No," Kiko responds. What could he understand about her problems?
"Bull," Uina starts, "There's something you want to talk about."
"There's nothing I want to talk about," Kiko responds, really not wanting to have to tell him anything about her current life, "Leave me alone."
"Then there is something I want to talk about," Uina counters, his tone getting a bit snippy, "It's about your performance."
"What about it?" Kiko starts, "Of course I suck. I'm not made for this crap. You told me yourself that I never would have got in were it not for the involvement of sector nine. I would have never lasted past the screening, much less even be asked to join in the first place."
"It is true that you've fallen behind the rest of the class," Uina continues, "I won't deny that. By any objective measure, you're a bad student. You shrug off your class work, you ignore our lectures, you're not even trying to learn how to put up a fight. The other students find you just a little creepy and outside of Sora, Riku, and Kairi, you haven't tried to socialize with anybody. Greg even came to me, of all people, when he wanted to ask you out because he thought that maybe I knew what was up with you. Also, you sleep way too much. After your only three friends go off on their own, you just go straight to bed and sleep until the morning. You didn't even leave your bedroom last Saturday except to go to the water closet."
"Am I going to be kicked out?" Kiko asks, unsure if she should really care or not. Maybe the Radiant Garden police no longer care about her. It has been quite a while, after all, and there's no reason to believe they'd keep tabs on some little girl like her.
"Of course not," Uina responds, "You put us in a hard place. Sora has been adamant about not kicking you. He might not be management, but he has the king's ear and this isn't exactly a democracy running the school. I can't say I approve of the fifteen year old having this much sway, but he did sort of save the universe a few times. Anyway, I see potential in you. Your problem is that you're applying some sort of external logic to everything. You went through the celestial system and you were given a set of skills. Why are you ignoring them in favor of your skewed videogame logic?"
"Excuse me?" Kiko asks, "I'm only good if I panic. I-"
"That's just the point," Uina interrupts, "You think too much. Your brain tries to rationalize what goes into an action. You think about the placement of your gun. You think about how much pull you have, how much the wind is going to affect your bullet, about the best place to hit the enemy. That's why you fail."
"Why is-" Kiko starts.
"You don't think about fighting," Uina continues, "You just do it. Maybe you think about the greater tactics, but your only thought when you want to shoot something is 'I want that thing to die'. Don't hesitate, just do it. This is why you practice, practice, practice."
"But-" Kiko tries to interject.
"You even proved me right earlier," Uina starts, "Buried in your fantasies about Riku, you actually answered that question exceedingly well. It might have missed a really obvious point, but your solution not only came the closest to fixing that dilemma, it also didn't involve any magic at all. You didn't even seem to recognize that it's technically supposed to be unwinnable by any measure."
"Wait, what?" Kiko asks, "That's kind of scary."
"Moving on," Uina continues, "I have some other stuff to talk with you about. First, this." Uina holds up the notebook, using his thumb and index finger on a corner to keep it far away from him. It almost seems like he finds it reprehensible to the touch.
"What about it?" Kiko asks. Uina pulls out a thirty centimeter long brass baton type thing and holds it right up to the notebook, clockwork gears all over it and some type of white glowing thing barely visible inside. Its purpose is completely beyond Kiko; it could be an automatic comb for all she knows. With a loud fwoosh, an unusually tinted orange flame jets out, completely consuming the all of the notebook but the tiny corner that Uina is holding. He drops the small piece before the flame touches his fingers.
"Hey!" Kiko shouts, enraged at this callous action. She has been working on this script for weeks since she discovered a program dedicated to romance instead of mindless sex. The program gave her some really good ideas and now they're gone.
"I'm putting your blue program privileges on indefinite suspension," Uina starts in an official sounding tone, "Your obsession with the Daydream Believer program is detrimental to your studies as well as both your physical and mental health. You won't be able to check out any programs, though you can accompany other people. Be social for a change. You don't exist in a vacuum, after all."
"You can't do that," Kiko says, astonished. How dare he just burn her notebook like that. There were lots of story ideas and drawings and stuff in it.
"Not only can I do that," Uina retorts, vindictive, "I am doing that. It's for your own good."
"But..." Kiko says, disappointed, "I'm just feeling so bad about myself."
"You're only going to make yourself feel worse if you keep doing this," Uina continues, "I won't let you spend your life in a simulation. I'm already seeing neuroses starting to pop up based on all your data. That last simulation alone made me want to gag."
"You've been watching?!" Kiko shouts, enraged at this invasion of privacy, "You pervert!"
"Yes, I've been watching," Uina continues, "Ever since Professor Kern started letting you have six and three quarter hours of free simulation time a week, I took it upon myself to make sure you weren't abusing the system. I already know that she's pretty corrupt, but at least she's just doing this out of survival. Ten person rule and all that with no home world to go to. Also, I find it ironic that you call me a pervert when you're the one seducing yourself as a man."
"But..." Kiko says, going red with embarrassment. She never really thought of it like that before.
"God," Uina starts, "Freud would have a field day with you. That Anna O. girl wouldn't even be a footnote compared to the insights you'd give. The field of psychology would be forever talking about you like you were World War II. They'd be constantly posing questions to figure out your psyche. Was it envy of men? Hatred of yourself? Maybe you're a lesbian in denial? Maybe it isn't self-denial, but your stalking of Riku is supposed to be your beard by proxy? Maybe you think you suck so much that even a simulation of Riku would run away from you?"
"Argh!" Kiko shouts, losing control at this unfair berating. She lunges at Uina, balling up a fist and pulling her arm back. Uina effortlessly dodges to the side as Kiko throws an amateurish punch, shoving his baton right at the base of her skull as she stumbles in front of him. A slight feeling of electricity causes Kiko to freeze up, unable to move. Something about the baton is blocking her motor movements, preventing her from doing much of anything but staring forward and breathing. All this sensory deprivation is starting to get to her.
"Please calm down," Uina starts in a partially condescending tone as he solidifies his position, "I'm sorry if you're so bent out of shape about this. Honestly, I thought you'd be more mature given how you put up with asshole Williams on a daily basis, but whatever. Not my problem. You should know by now that attacking a professor is pretty far on the deep end of the chart of unacceptable behavior. If I really wanted to, I could get you expelled and put in prison for this without even King Mickey being able to intervene, but I won't. I'm not going to hold a grudge because you can't hold your feelings. Also, I obviously hit a really big sore spot and I apologize. It was inconsiderate of me to comment on what must be a very intimate topic that agitates you a great deal. Now, if I let you free, are we going to be cool?"
"Nnnnnngh," Kiko responds.
"I'll take that as a yes," Uina says, taking his baton away from her skull with a quick flick. Kiko's stance stutters a little, her body instinctively correcting itself before she falls flat on her face. Uina grabs a desk and spins it around to face another, sitting down with a certain kind of grace that one is not used to seeing. Kiko takes the position opposite of him, doing her best to calm down. He caught her off-guard with those comments, but she's ready now. Bring on the vitriol. "So, anything you want to talk about?" Uina asks, his tone now completely neutral.
"I'm just feeling really depressed," Kiko starts, "I feel like my Asperger's syndrome is get-"
"Stop," Uina interrupts.
"But-"
"No," Uina starts, "You do not have Asperger's syndrome. Don't even try to convince me otherwise."
"But I-"
"Look," Uina starts, "I am a certified professional with a doctorate in psychiatry. Or at least I was back in the old world. No difference in either event. Just because you read about Asperger's syndrome in a magazine and thought that it sounds just like you doesn't mean you have it. Honestly, I'm sick and tired of you kids and your self-diagnosed psychological problems that you use as excuses for your ineptitude. No. Just no. You aren't failing your classes because you have dyslexia. You wouldn't be writing scripts where you bag yourself as your unrequited love if you have dyslexia. Just because you can't keep up with the reading material doesn't mean you have a condition of any kind. And just because you are too scared to just go up to Riku and ask him for a date on your own doesn't mean you have Asperger's syndrome. You are a geek because you grew up isolating yourself from other people and living your life in books or TV or whatever. Not because you have a medical condition."
"But..." Kiko starts, feeling a bit mad that he's not even listening to her, "A doctor told-"
"You were given Ritalin, weren't you?" Uina asks.
"Yes," Kiko responds. Now that was a bad time of her life she wishes she could forget.
"If there was ever a real definition for Asperger's syndrome," Uina continues, "Or autism, or attention deficit disorder, or whatever the new medical buzzword going around the soccer mom population is, it got killed by the executives over at Novartis Pharmaceuticals in their strive to get every kid hooked on their legalized amphetamines. God, I hate those bastards. They're just lowly drug dealers giving a huge paycheck to the corrupt doctors across America to hand out ritalin like lollipops to people who aren't able to argue against it. Hell, they may as well start manufacturing them on sticks and handing them out after every physical."
"...Professor..." Kiko starts. She thought of an idea that might get him on her side. Not a very good idea, but an idea. Desperate times call for desperate measures, after all.
"What?" Uina responds, sounding a bit irritated by the interruption to his rant.
"I wish you were at my school," Kiko starts, "All the school psychologist did for me was tell me I have to take Ritalin. He just gave me a prescription and sent me out without listening to me. But you're different. You're not like them."
"You mean it?" Uina asks, "I never had a student ever compliment me before. Or a parent. Or a faculty member, for that matter."
"You're against the system," Kiko continues, drawing from her memories of old TV shows, "Instead of helping to buy another BMW for those assholes sitting in their board rooms and chomping their cigars, you're actually going for the root of the problem and-"
"Now, now," Uina interrupts, chuckling, "Flattery will get you everywhere, my dear, but it's not why we're here. Anyway, tell me, what else has got you down?"
"I have no good music to listen to," Kiko starts, "Are you sure that's all you have?"
"You don't like Nirvana?" Uina starts, "I thought they were really popular amongst high school students like you."
"I hate Nirvana," Kiko starts, "Bunch of whiny emo guys that can't play their instruments. I hate what Kurt Cobain did to music. He made it into all this whiny crap. I don't care that he blew out his brains with a shotgun. That doesn't make him special. Anyway, the only song on any of these CDs that's any good is 'Plush'. Are you sure you don't have anything by Queens of the Stone Age?"
"I don't know who they are," Uina responds in a matter of fact tone.
"You don't know who the Queens of the Stone Age are?" Kiko responds in disbelief, "They're only the best band ever. They make awesome songs like 'No One Knows', 'Little Sister', 'Go With The Flow'... are you sure you don't know them?"
"They were probably after I got dragged here," Uina continues, "You do remember that I come from 1998, don't you? Not the day before you did."
"Are you sure you don't have any other CDs?" Kiko asks, "Because whoever owned these ones sucks."
"I'd never give up my CD collection for anything," Uina continues, "Listening to my favorite childhood bands such as Blue Oyster Cult, Deep Purple, Aerosmith, and Boston are what keep me focused on my goal. I can't lose my identity to this universe, no matter how hard it claws at me. I doubt you'd appreciate any of these bands, anyway."
"Aerosmith is okay," Kiko starts, "I like 'Beyond Beautiful', but their other stuff isn't that good. I don't know who those other guys are."
"Well, back on topic," Uina starts, "I want you to go to lunch. Obviously, you can't skip meals if you want to stay in this school. Fitness is your top priority. Find Sora and Riku and tell them we have to talk during dinner. I'll have some food brought to my office."
"Well... okay," Kiko says, deflated. She really wanted to listen to something new. Maybe nothing can ever compare to Queens of the Stone Age, but at least something besides the whiny crap would be nice.
"I'll see you later," Uina starts, getting out of his chair, "Cheer up a bit. Your life doesn't suck near as much as you think it does. I'll see you later."
"See you later," Kiko responds as Uina walks out of the room.