Sorry for the delay. Won't keep you waiting for the next chapter.

Chapter 34

I went to college as normal. Classes were winding down for the break and I stopped looking for Jasper. I was far more concerned by Edward's newfound aloofness. Even though I could understand why he didn't want me to reconcile with Jasper, I couldn't figure out a way to get him to talk about it.

I couldn't help missing Jasper, but I couldn't do anything about it and I couldn't tell Edward because I didn't want us to fight over it. He hadn't resorted to sleeping in his own room but he had simply wrapped his arms around me each night and gone to sleep. I was even wearing pajamas again. I was too scared to touch him intimately; I didn't think I could bear it if he pushed me away. I contented myself with simply feeling his arms around me.

Charlie called briefly on Wednesday night to let me know he'd be home on Friday. I tried to argue that I had classes but he made it clear he wanted me there and I meekly agreed to be there early. The weeks where I'd felt I was growing as a person maturing and finding myself were slowly slipping through my fingers, and all the old self-doubts were coming back. The irony was that even though he'd caused this, the part of me that was re-emerging made me need Jasper more than ever.

After Charlie's call I sat down heavily on the sofa and listened to the dull drone of the traffic outside. I pulled out my cell phone and thumbed the keys, flicked through the menu to Jasper's name, and sat staring at the screen. I sat for a long time debating on whether to call him, but then I thought about Edward and I couldn't do it.

It was still relatively early when Edward came home and I was delighted to see Alice behind him. I stood up and moved towards them, Edward smiled at me and it was the first genuine smile he'd offered me in days. His lips brushed mine briefly and he touched my cheek.

"Get your glad rags on," he said. "There's an open mike gig on tonight. I thought we could all go." He raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Jacob's meeting us there."

I almost felt boneless my relief was so intense. It would be so nice to have some fun with Edward and our friends. I turned to Alice.

"Will you help me pick something to wear?" I asked tentatively. I didn't really need her help but it was good an excuse as any to break the ice.

She nodded and followed me into my room. "You seem tense," she remarked as I closed the door. "Is everything alright?"

I would have loved to confide in her, but she had her own problems and I couldn't in all conscience burden her with mine. So I sucked it up and lied.

"I'm fine. I'm just worried about seeing Charlie this weekend."

She nodded while she rooted around in my closet and pulled out a pair of tight, black pants that I'd bought in a sale but never had the nerve to wear. "Edward mentioned that you would be going to Forks this weekend. I'm really proud of him for offering to explain things to your dad in person. These will look nice with a bright top." She threw me the pants and delved back into the closet.

She found me a red top to wear that I didn't know I had. I stood behind the closet door and changed while Alice sat on the bed and waited in silence. She offered to do my make up and I sat on the piano stool trying not to make eye contact. There was a tension between us that only time would alleviate, but it was good to know that we were making a start.

When she went to the bathroom Edward stepped into my room. He was wearing a slightly misshapen white v necked shirt, but still managed to look stunning in it. He insisted I looked beautiful and then he immediately hauled me into his arms and pressed a desperate kiss to my lips. I clutched at him and couldn't fight the long relieved sigh that gave away my immense relief.

"I'm sorry if I've been a little distant," he whispered, punctuating each word with a peck on my lips. "This whole thing with Alice is affecting me more than I realised." He cupped my cheek, his eyes shining with affection. "I know we should really talk about this, but I feel like I don't even want to think about it anymore." He kissed me deeply, sliding his tongue into my mouth. I groaned in protest when he finally pulled back. "Let's just have fun tonight?"

It didn't escape me that he'd referred to the situation being about Alice and not Jasper, but I pushed the thought away and relaxed into his embrace. "I wish we didn't have to go out now." I whispered running my hands over his chest.

His chuckle was strained. "Any more of that and I'll be wishing the same."

Even though it was Wednesday night, the bar was surprisingly busy. Edward received a text from Jacob and went outside to help him bring in the guitars. I was excited at the prospect of seeing them both sing. Alice was a little quiet and I couldn't help but wonder if she was remembering the last time we'd been here.

"Shall we go to the bar?" I suggested, not really wanting to, but desperate to try anything to distract her.

While we were waiting at the bar, I felt a pair of large hands encircling my waist and jumped in fright.

"Hey, dancer." Emmett grinned as I turned around. "Wow! You look smokin' hot tonight." He looked at Alice. "This your work?"

I swatted his arm playfully, but quickly dropped my hand when Rosalie stepped up beside him.

"Hi," I said nervously, though I wasn't exactly sure what I had to be nervous about. There was just something about her that put me on edge.

Emmett threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. The bright grin she gave him knocked me sideways. I'd never seen her smile so genuinely. It dimmed a little when she turned her gaze on Alice and me and said hello.

After we'd bought the drinks, we found a table near the stage and Emmett dragged some more chairs over while Alice placed the tray of drinks on it. Alice sat down on one side of me and somewhat alarmingly, Rosalie sat at the other. Thankfully, she sat turned away from slightly while she spoke with Emmett.

It wasn't long before Edward and Jacob joined us. Jacob took the first available seat but Edward stood for a second looking a little perplexed. I realised I should have saved him a seat beside me and mouthed sorry. He shrugged it off with a wink and took the seat beside Jacob.

"I got the parts for your truck." Jacob said, leaning forward. "You should bring it over this week and I'll change them for you."

To my intense surprise Rosalie turned towards us and spoke to Jacob. "You fix cars?"

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, I'm trying to start up my own business. At the moment I'm renting a garage a couple of blocks away from my house. I get a decent amount of work."

Turning fully in her chair she looked at me. "What kind of truck do you have?" Her eyes were the clearest blue I'd ever seen, and seeing her without her perma-scowl was really breathtaking. She was quite simply beautiful. Her interest in my truck confused and intrigued me in equal measure.

"It's a chevy," I said, blushing before glancing at Jacob for help. "I think?"

He chuckled and turned his full attention on Rosalie. "Get this, it's a 1953 Chevy."

Rosalie's grin widened. "Wow! How did you manage to get parts for it?"

Jacob beamed with a proud glint in his eye. "I have my sources."

"You know I wouldn't mind coming down to your workshop," Rosalie said. "I know my way around an engine."

My mouth was probably hanging open as I watched Jacob and Rosalie hurtle deeper into a conversation they were clearly both enjoying immensely. Who would have guessed Rosalie liked cars? I turned and said as much to Alice.

She laughed softly. "I'm sure Emmett said something about her father and brothers being motor heads, I guess it runs in the family."

I sipped my drink and tried desperately to think of something else to say but the moment was gone and we slipped back into a polite silence while our problems pressed on us once more. We sat watching as other people got up to sing and I was just beginning to relax when a rather voluptuous redhead approached our table and zeroed in on Edward.

"Edward," she crooned in an annoying sing-song voice. "I haven't seen you in ages, where have you been hiding?"

"Victoria," he acknowledged stiffly without answering her question.

She turned a chair around from the table behind and slithered into it, entirely too close to Edward for my liking. Jacob and Rosalie were still deep in conversation and Alice had gone with Emmett to the bar, leaving me with no diversion at all as I watched Victoria simper over Edward.

"You know," she said, grinning lasciviously as her fingers did a strange walk up his chest which made me want to chop them off. "Tanya and Kate are here. Maybe you should come over and say hello."

Her hand fluttered at the opening in his shirt and just as it looked like she might slip it inside, Edward grabbed her wrist and lightly drew it away. "I don't think so," he said firmly and his eyes flicked to mine. "I'm with my–"

Before he could finish the sentence, Victoria stood up and moved around him. My jaw clenched as I watched her fingers trace the line of his jaw as she smiled down at him.

"Some other time then."

Every nerve ending in my body froze in horror when she stooped and brazenly kissed him on the mouth. Even though Edward pulled away, painful jealousy bloomed in my chest. She faked a pout, keeping her hand on his cheek and leaned in again.

Sickened, I shot out of my seat and headed straight for the restroom.

I locked myself in a cubicle, closed the lid on the toilet seat and sat down heavily. My knees were bouncing as I tried to calm myself down. It was ridiculous to get so jealous so quickly when it wasn't even Edward who had initiated it. Perhaps if he hadn't been so distant these past few days it wouldn't have affected me so badly, but I almost felt like I didn't want to go back out there. I couldn't bear to watch her touch him like that, even though he was doing nothing to encourage her. The image of her blood red lips pressed to his almost made me retch.

My blood ran cold when a realisation hit me. This must be how Edward had been feeling over the whole Jasper situation, and that was so much worse than what had happened with Victoria. I groaned as I finally realised the enormity of the situation in Edward's eyes. If I'd reacted this badly to one woman flirting with him and attempting to kiss him, then how much worse must it have been for Edward when I'd been locked in a room with the person whom I'd been closest to in my adult life while he'd tried to do more than kiss me?

A tear slid down my cheek. I'd have to choose, even though there really was no choice. I couldn't see a way back from this for Jasper. I loved him, of that I was sure, but not in the way I loved Edward. I wanted and needed Edward, and if that meant I couldn't see Jasper any more then I was prepared to let him go. He was the one who had ruined everything and I couldn't let it ruin what I had with Edward too.

I dabbed at my eyes and blew my nose when I heard the door open.

"Bella?"

"I'll be right out." I answered Alice as brightly as I could, but failing to mask the emotion in my voice.

She tapped lightly on the door and I opened it intending to step out, but Alice had other plans and stepped into the cubicle. Her eyes were filled with concern and fresh tears sprung to my eyes. "I'm sorry Alice, did Edward send you in? He shouldn't have done that."

She shook her head. "I saw Victoria fawning all over him and then he followed you here. He's standing outside waiting for you. He looked like he was going to right in after you, so I thought it would be best if I came in instead." She tilted my chin and looked into my eyes. "You okay?"

I sighed as a fresh wave of guilt rushed through me. "I just realised what a monumentally selfish fool I've been."

Confusion flickered in her eyes.

"All this time I've been trying to defend Jasper, but now I'm beginning to realise how badly he hurt you and Edward." My eyes dropped to the floor, unable to withstand her gaze. "I've been so wrapped up in missing him that I couldn't see things clearly. There's no way back from this–"

"Really?" Her gasp brought my eyes up to hers, was it possible that she thought there was?

"What did he say to you when you spoke?" I asked.

She paused as if deciding whether to answer or not. Eventually, she did. "We talked about lots of things. Like how we moved in together too soon. How he hadn't been entirely honest with me about his feelings for you, and how he was very confused." Her voice was quiet, regretful ."He begged me to give him another chance, but I can't." She hissed and shook her head sadly. "Not when he still can't accept you and Edward. That tells me more than his words ever will."

Her sadness was palpable, and I felt my heart constrict with the mere sight of the haunted look that swept over her beautiful features. She looked up at me with eyes that were two shimmering pools of pain. "He said he won't see you again if that's what it takes."

"That's the conclusion I've just come to. I can't be without Edward, and if it means cutting Jasper out of my life then I'm prepared to do it."

"Even though you don't want to," she said sadly. "Neither of you does." Suddenly, she gripped my arms with unnerving force. "That's what's so fucked up about the whole thing. If there was nothing there, you wouldn't have to stay away from each other."

"Alice, there is something there, of course there is, but for me it's like the way I feel about Charlie. It's like I'm losing my brother, there is absolutely nothing sexual in it. I promise you."

"I believe you. But can't you see, Edward and I are family, if you are with Edward and I was with..." She hesitated. "Jasper, then you couldn't avoid each other. It just can't be done." Her shoulders sagged. "So you're right; there is no way back from this."

There was a harsh knock on the door reminding me that Edward was still out there. I called out to him that we'd be right out.

I turned back to Alice, everything she'd just said indicated that she still loved Jasper and I didn't want to be the one to extinguish her last flicker of hope.

"Look, Jasper hasn't tried to contact me." I shook my head. "Except for one text to say sorry. I guess he really is trying to stay away for your sake."

"He owes you and Edward a massive apology." She sniffed.

"I guess he sees you as the priority, and that's the way it should be." I handed her a tissue "Edward and I are going down to Forks this weekend to see Charlie. I want to speak to Jasper just to hear him out but I won't if you or Edward don't want me to."

"No, you have to talk to him, both of you. If nothing else it will give us all some closure." The door knocked again and her eyes darted to it. "You better put him out of his misery."

I pulled her to me and hugged her. "I'm so sorry Alice, I've missed you so much and–"

Her arms tightened around me. "We'll get there," she said quietly.

I unlocked the door and checked my reflection in the mirror before opening the outer door to face Edward.

"You okay?" he asked anxiously, stepping towards me and curving his fingers around my arm. "I didn't know she would do that," he raked his fingers through his hair. "Try to kiss me like that in front of you."

"I'm sort of glad she did," I said and his eyes widened in shock.

Before I could explain Alice stepped out behind me.

"I'm just gonna get a cab," she said, jerking her thumb in the direction of the exit. "I'm a little tired tonight."

"We can all go," Edward offered, but Alice shook her head.

"No, please, stay. Don't let me ruin your night." There was no question of that but I knew she'd only feel worse if we did insist on leaving.

"Walk her out," I said to Edward , touching his hand. "We can talk later."

I returned to the table to find Jacob sitting alone. Emmett and Rosalie were swaying to a slow song on the dance floor.

"Is everything alright?" Jacob asked when I sat down opposite him.

"Yes, it will be."

He shrugged and glanced at Emmett and Rosalie. "She's coming down to my workshop tomorrow," he said with a fake grimace. "Can you believe that?"

I laughed at his apprehensive expression. "Whatever you do, don't let Leah anywhere near her."

He eyed Rosalie and laughed. "Can you imagine those two getting in a fight?" He shuddered theatrically. "There would be blood."

"How is Leah?" I asked seriously.

"What did you say to her last week?" There was no hint of malice or accusation in his tone.

"Why?" I asked, wanting to check the lay of the land.

"She's been different. She came to see me the following day to apologise for being so rude to you." He glanced over my shoulder and I guessed that Edward was on his way back to the table. "She's even talking about getting a job, since Paul has some independence back."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but there was something else." He shook his head a little. "I don't know, like she's a little more hopeful or something. It sounds silly but whatever it is, it's making me feel more hopeful too."

"I'm glad," I said raising my glass to touch his bottle.

He smiled and said nothing more.

I felt Edward's warm hand on my shoulder and looked up at him. "Do you wanna move around in circles with me?" He asked, grinning at me. "Seeing as you can't dance."

I took his hand and let him lead me onto the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I said as soon as he pulled me into his arms. I relaxed into his embrace

"What do you have to be sorry about?" he asked, lifting our hands and kissing my fingers.

"Everything," I said. "All this stuff with Jasper."

He stiffened. "Let's not talk about it here."

"But I–"

"Please Bella," he begged, pressing his lips to my head. "I've been an ass the last couple of days, but tonight I just want to forget it all and be with you."

He kissed me long and hard and when I finally rested my head on his chest again, I took some pleasure from the envious glare of the three girls staring at us from the other side of the room.

Later, he made love to me so passionately all that mattered was that I loved him. Nothing mattered more than that. Nothing.

It was just before noon when we arrived in Forks. Edward had been tense all during the drive, rebuffing my attempts to strike up a conversation about my realisation last night. Every time I broached the subject, he simply patted my knee or my hand on the wheel and started talking about something else.

Frustrated, I pulled the truck to a stop at the end of the street, just as I had done the last time we were here.

"Look Edward," I said, turning in the seat to face him. "I really want to talk to you about something before we go and see Charlie."

"Bella, I already know that it's not just Charlie you've come to see." He scrubbed his hand down his face, exhaling slowly. "I want to be supportive. I know this isn't easy for you, but..." His voice trailed off. "Let's just talk to your dad first and then we'll go see Jasper together, okay?"

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry for not realising how difficult this has been for you."

"Don't apologise to me, Bella. You didn't do anything wrong." He kissed me gently before pulling back and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His eyes were tender as he gazed at me thoughtfully. "I want to get away for a couple of days." I froze instantly but he reassured me with a smile. "With you. This weekend, maybe. We could go out of town for a couple of nights. Just to get away from it all, somewhere quiet." He pulled me across the seat and held me close. "I want to spend a whole day just making love with you."

I closed my eyes, overcome with pleasure at the mere thought of it.

With a final squeeze, he dropped a kiss onto my forehead and released me. "Let's get this over with."

Everything I had wanted to discuss with him had evaporated on the pleasure of his kisses. As I re-started the engine, I felt a sharp pang of regret that I hadn't forced him to talk things through with me last night. I wanted to reassure him that I just wanted to make my peace with Jasper and then move on.

I drove slowly to Charlie's and parked in the driveway. With great effort, I didn't look at Jasper's house at all as we walked from the truck. Charlie had left the door open for us and taking Edward's hand I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Charlie was standing in the front room facing the window. He turned as soon as we walked into the room and the first thing that registered was how tanned and relaxed he looked. I hadn't seen him look this good in, well, never. I knew he was alone and wondered where Sue might be but I didn't ask. Now didn't seem the time for pleasantries.

His eyes narrowed slightly as he regarded Edward. I half expected him to react angrily but Edward spoke first.

"Chief Swan," Edward began stepping forward. "I came down here with Bella today to apologise to you for my behaviour at your wedding. It was unforgiveable, and I hope you and your wife will accept my apology."

Charlie's eyes flicked to me and then back to Edward. "I really wanted to see my daughter today so that we could discuss all this privately." He said stiffly. "But I appreciate you coming down here to accept responsibility in person. But I'm still not happy with Bella living in the same apartment as you."

"Dad," I said, stepping forward. "Edward didn't come down to accept responsibility. He's apologising for causing a scene, but if you'll let me explain what happened, maybe you'll understand his actions that day."

Charlie all but ignored me, keeping his steely glare firmly focussed on Edward. "What exactly are the living arrangements?"

"Dad!" I shouted. "I'm not a child, and if you want to discuss this then you have to listen to what I have to say as well. I'm not going to stand here and let you scold me like a child."

He blanched and when Edward put a restraining hand on my shoulder, Charlie zeroed in on it. "So you two are together?"

If I was child he thought I was I would've rolled my eyes at that comment. Instead, I sat down, pulling Edward down with me. "I love Edward," I said firmly, looking Charlie straight in the eye. "We've become very close and he did what he did at the wedding because he thought I'd been hurt."

Charlie looked confused and maybe even a little lost for words. "You better tell me what happened." He said, sitting down finally.

Keeping a firm hold of Edward's hand, I told Charlie the whole story of what Jasper did that day. My cheeks flamed when I admitted just how far Jasper had wanted to go. While I spoke Charlie's tan turned puce.

"I saw him this morning but I didn't talk to him," he said, rising. "I wondered why he was back here."

"Where are you going?" I asked in alarm when he stalked towards the door.

"You two wait here. I'm going to have words with that little fucker."

He was out of the house before I even had the chance to react. Bolting for the door I chased after him.

I almost fell down the porch steps in my haste to catch him, but it was futile. He was already pounding his fist on Jasper's door.

When Jasper opened it, Charlie grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him out.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Charlie roared. "Bella trusted you. I trusted you. You practically forced yourself on her." He was shaking him and Jasper was wearing an odd expression that looked to me almost like relief. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kick your ass into next week, Jasper!"

"I can't," Jasper said, in a voice that was eerily calm and resigned. "There is no reason."

Charlie still had his hands fisted in Jasper's shirt and I looked around hoping that Edward would help me restrain him. He was standing in the doorway with his fists clenched at his side, and I realised he was too busy restraining himself.

I turned my attention back to Charlie. "Dad!" I yelled, grabbing his arm. "Dad, don't! Please, please don't do something you'll regret. It's not worth it."

When Charlie released his grip, a look of intense regret passed over Jasper's features. He made no attempt to get away from Charlie, he just stood right in front of him meeting his glare head on.

"For what it's worth, Charlie," he said, quietly. "I'm sorry."

Charlie grabbed my arm and pulled me away. "Let's go." He stopped in the yard and turned back to Jasper. "Don't you come near her again!"

My heart skipped a beat when Jasper walked down the porch steps, but he turned and headed towards his back yard. Edward moved back into the house and Charlie started walking again. When I saw Jasper climbing into the treehouse, I pulled away from Charlie.

"What are you doing, Bella?"

"I need to say goodbye to him," I said looking up at Charlie. "I can't just... leave it like this."

"Bella," he groaned. "I don't want you being alone with him."

"Dad, you saw him, he's no threat to me." I touched his arm. "Please, I have to do this."

Charlie relented, and I waited until he was on the porch steps before I turned and made my way to the tree house.

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