(POSTED EARLIER) An Important Announcement:

First off: THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW.

Now that that has been stated, the really important announcement: As off next chappie, the chappters will be posted every FOUR days. The reason behind this is that I feel that lately, my writing quality has much declined. This is because when I plan the next chapter, I wonder how good I can make it in the time that I have. The last chapter: I feel it was definately not up to par. This really made me think about how well my writing has been lately. And I decided that I shouldn't be posting if it is not my best work. Additionally, every night I post I'm up till 12. for Specials: sometimes 4 am. This is not healthy. This descision was very hard to make, but I am certain it is the right one.

Pros: Word length will improve. Writing quality will improve much because I will have time to edit. Storylines will be more creative now that I will have time to prewrite. And I will be posting earlier.

If you have any questions or comments, please PM instead of leaving a review because the next chapter will be added to this document and will replace the current version. Unless you are anonymous, of course.

-CeleryRox (Cele)

A/N: Today, it is reverse A/N day. I was up last night when I wondered, why do I bold the A/Ns instead of my stories? MY STORIES ARE BEING ABUSED! So today, we honor the poor, misunderstood chappies. *sniff*. ANOTHER IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: This one is very unfortunate, but also probably necessary. There is absolutely no way I will be able to hang on for 64 more chappies of this carp. I'm very sorry, but… I don't have that long an attention span. Back to 50 chappies. SORRY ANON! Please forgive me.

Peeps, If you haven't read My Immortal, the exceedingly lulzy Harry Potter shitfic (I don't use that word lightly) Google it. It was removed from FanFicNet because… It sucked. So, it's not on here. BUT READ IT ANY WAY! Imma go read some more of it now.

Don't forget to celebrate reverse A/N day. Your cards are coming in the mail.

"THE WORLD WILL END IN EXACTLY ONE WEEK!"

Several people on the street paused in their tasks to openly stare at the strange girl on the street corner, shrieking. She called out the statement again, and continued to strut around like a constipated penguin in her mini skirt and psychotically high heeled boots. The pedestrians shrugged and kept walking. If the world didn't end in 2000 or 2010, it wouldn't end in a week just because some goffik street corner prophet said it would.

On that same street, Drusilla stepped out of PetsMart with a new goldfish in one hand, and a small suitcase in the other. She had went on a very short "vacation" for no apparent reason a couple days ago, but was back in time for the apocalypse. Spike would probably be unhappy, but Drusilla pretty much did what she pleased. A cry rose up from the street corner, and it was the spiky haired "prophet" again. Drusilla looked up with interest and walked across the street to say hi.

"SEVEN DAYS! SEEEEVVEEEN DAAAAAAAAYS!"

With her head cocked to the side, Drusilla regarded this strange person. Interesting. But it appeared that she was misinformed. "Three days, not seven," she said quietly. Alice spun around and saw her.

"No, it's seven, the voices told me," she snapped, and went back to telling the crowd about her perceived date of the apocalypse.

"Little girl, who are you?" Dru interrupted.

The "little girl" spun around to face her. "I am the great Alice, the Prophet!"

Recognition showed in Drusilla's eyes. "I've heard of you. They whisper of you. 'Treachery! Lies!' You've been a bad girl, using your gifts for your own happiness. Soon they will strip you of what little powers you have left."

The expression on Alice's face was unimpressed. "How will it matter where my powers go if the world will end in seven days?"

"Three," Drusilla pouted.

"I'll bet you one hundred bucks it's seven. BECAUSE I WILL DESTROY THE WORLD IN SEVEN DAYS!"

Drusilla stared at Alice. How had she not caught on yet? "Spike is destroying it in THREE."

A moment of confusion slipped through Alice's confident façade. But not for long. "Oh. BUT I WILL DESTROY IT FIRST!"

Drusilla smiled and reached into her suitcase. "No. I won't let you." She pulled out her travel size weedwhacker that she never left the house without.

VROOM, VROOM, VROOOOOM!

"WAAAAAAAAH!"

An epic chase followed.

Alice struggled to run in her ridiculous, medieval torture devices disguised as "cute" shoes and mini mini skirt as she fled from the terrors of spinning wire greased with plant guts. Lucky for her, but not for anybody else here, the Cullen mansion was only a couple houses away. Somehow, she was managing to fail at swinging her arms as she ran. As each fish-netted thigh came up, so did the same arm on the same side. ?

Tripping up the steps to the front porch, Alice fell on her stomach and inadvertently pushed the unlocked door open with her very goffik forehead. But how had Drusilla not yet caught up with her?

"LEMONADE? Twenty five cents!" cried a little five year old behind a lemonade stand. Drusilla shrugged and fished around in her suitcase for change.

Alice ran panting into her house. If only big, strong Edward was here, he would save her. NO! Bad thoughts, Alice. No incest. Clattering into the kitchen she saw that the macaroni and cheese she had stuck in the microwave fifteen minutes earlier was almost done. YAY! But what was that burning smell? Must be a gas leak. Then she heard Drusilla come into the house behind her. OH NOES! She ran upstairs to her (pink, yet very goffik) bedroom.

The first thing Dru noticed upon entering the kitchen was the burning microwave macaroni. That would work even better than the weedwacker! She threw the gardening tool on the ground and ran up the stairs with the cheesy tar-like substance.

The door to Alice's room was black. It had a skull and cross bones on it. Drusilla kicked it down, making sure to chip the paint job. Alice was looking at a magazine. A Playboy magazine. She got a face full of mac n cheese and somehow dove out the conveniently open window with a squeal. NO! SHE WAS GETTING AWAY! Drusilla ran back down to the kitchen.

THUD! There was a loud thud made by Alice accidentally rolling off the side of the roof.

In the kitchen, Drusilla looked around frantically. Then, she had an idea and opened the freezer. Aha! She found what she was looking for and ripped open the box.

In the act of rolling off the (perfectly flat) roof, Alice had inadvertently skewered herself on the goffik, wrought iron fence. How very sad. She struggled to remove herself from the fence post without lacerating any more major arteries.

Dru rushed out the front door with a frozen pizza in hand. Alice hadn't been able to remove herself form the fence post and was clumsily sprinting down the street with the pole sticking out her middle. OH NOES! She was escaping! In a desperate attempt to save the human race from insanity, Dru threw the pizza like a Frisbee. The pizza Frisbee flew and beheaded "pixie" with a SHNICK sound. Alice exploded into a goffik pile of emo sparkles. Except for her head, which was later found by a blind dude who mistook it for a soccer ball and kicked it down a manhole.

After that, Drusilla shrugged and left to get more lemonade.

A/N: MWAHAHAHAHA! Next installment on… *counts on fingers*Monday! No, no wait… *recounts* Tuesday! YAY ME I LEARNED TO COUNT!

Sorry for all the… changes and stuff.

Review, or I will become Goffik and slit my wrists.