The Idiot's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy
Chapter 32 – Part 32
Disclaimer: Yep. I do not own anything you recognize. Imagine what would happen if I did?
Sorry for how short this chapter is, but I hope it was worth the wait!
I would like to thank Sciencefictionsquirrel. Although I am not using any of your rules in this chapter, I would like to say how much I appreciate the rules you have submitted thus far and will continue to submit in the future. We are on similar wave-lengths and you make it so much easier for me, as a writer. Your rules really do inspire me. I don't know if I give you enough credit. If I had any Jell-O, I would give it to you . . . and then let Clifford steal said Jell-O, because he likes the stuff.
Acknowledgements: Birdie: for Rules 751 and 752
ChaosBabe: for Rule 753
Gemini1985: for Rule 757
As usual for the Expedition, it didn't take very long before another rule got posted, this time caused the Smart Camp in their infinite time and energy, caused by a passing comment made, none other than, John Sheppard.
746. No holographic Tetris!
A. Remember the Pac-Man incident.
Rodney had gotten really bored one day. He started playing Tetris on his laptop and was struck by what he called a "brilliant idea." Half of the Smart Camp agreed with him. No one else did. George had tried to control the situation but Elizabeth found out.
747. The Menagerie may not be used for Easter egg hunts.
A. They don't like it.
B. You will be held responsible for all injuries incurred.
A-11 had tried. They failed. Jen and Carson were not happy whatsoever.
Ten members of the Marine Brigade and seven members of the Smart Camp had new reason to fear the Menagerie now.
748. You may not be a Starship Ranger!
The Expedition had just seen Team StarKid's recent viral musical "Starship." It had not ended well, especially when A-1 had decided to perform "Kick It Up A Notch" off-world. Jen had been very displeased and Elizabeth found that she couldn't yell at A-1 after seeing what the good doctor had done to the team.
749. The Uber-Wraith are not bugs!
A. You may not treat them as such.
Yep, the Expedition was certifiably insane. She was sure of it. Then again, after Rodney had changed the alert system to "Did you get my text?" she was pretty sure that was obvious.
750. The Menagerie is not to be used as back up off-world.
A. We don't need to be the basis of a religion.
B. That way leads to the Goa'uld side!
That should have been obvious to everyone, but, then again, this was the Marine Brigade. Elizabeth knew how moronic they could be at times, especially when everything else seems to pale in comparison.
But the Menagerie had already caused at least four religions due to the Expedition talking about them while no missions. She didn't any more to pop up. Teams seemed to do that on their own with very little help as it were already.
751. Stop terrorizing the natives with stories of the Goa'uld as the false gods!
A. We don't want to start the Pegasus version of a witch hunt!
A-2 and A-5 had gotten slightly bored when they had gone off-world on a joint mission. So, to alleviate said boredom, they began an in-depth comparison of the Wraith and the Goa'uld. Natives had overheard them and, fearing an invasion of the Goa'uld, had chased both teams back to Atlantis.
752. The Smart Camp are not the cloners from Star Wars, and we DO NOT want an army of clones.
A. One set of all of us is enough.
B. Talk to Carson if you want to clone Sheppard's Ancient Gene.
C. That might actually be helpful.
Elizabeth could just imagine what could very well happen if there was an army of Expedition clones wondering around. The Pegasus Galaxy certainly wasn't big enough and there was no way the Milky Way Galaxy could handle a large amount of their weirdness. The SG-C already cringed whenever the Expedition got bored and decided to pull pranks on Earth.
To their credit, though, they were getting better at pranking. And they had managed to reverse-engineer some technologies from the Pegasus Galaxy for sale on Earth, not to mention some patented Atlantis ideas. After all, they needed to have some exports to support their insanity and their mischief.
753. Do not build a fountain in the middle of the 'Gate Room.
A. It's just too inconvenient.
B. Out on one of the Piers is acceptable.
A-10 had decided that they wanted to redecorate the 'Gate Room in preparation for Jen ad Ronon's wedding, so they managed to put a fountain in the middle of the room. The next day, the Genii attacked. The fountain got partially destroyed. Jen glared at A-10, Ronon played with his gun, and Melissa promised that they would move it out to one of the Piers.
Jen and Ronon were thoroughly displeased and stressed out enough as is. Elizabeth was sympathetic. It was bad enough planning one wedding, but two was crazy. Yet, they wanted two because both loved the Pegasus Galaxy and their family there, but Jen didn't have the heart to deny her family back home the chance to see her wedding and Ronon couldn't deny her that opportunity.
754. Decorative ribbon should not be used as a weapon.
Ronon had apparently thought so.
Jen had been working on the party favors for the Atlantis wedding. A-13 had stolen some of the candy after they had returned from 449. Ronon had been displeased since, as he claimed, he was the only allowed to steal the candy. It hadn't ended pretty.
755. Ice-sculpting. No.
A. Just no.
Most of A-1, A-6, A-10, and A-13, on 449. 'Nuff said.
756. Paint Charlotte's hallway at your own risk.
A. And may the gods have mercy on your soul.
She didn't know whose brilliant idea that had been but no one was coming forward to say anything.
757. A-1 is not allowed to send Ronon to the planet with the dinosaurs alone as a prank.
A. That's a bad idea with the way he is.
John and Rodney had thought that it would be a good idea to do that as a bachelor party prank. Teyla went along with it because she thought that Ronon would like it. He came back two hours later, bloody, bruised, and messy, carrying three eggs. Now, John, Rodney, and Teyla were the proud parents of three baby pterodactyls. Albus' young now had new playmates.
758. When playing the game of Assassin, you are not allowed to take it off-world.
A. Off-world, you are safe.
B. And may not be assassinated.
A-3 had organized a large-scale game of Assassin. It was actually humorous to see everyone paranoid and walking around with waterguns. But that led to:
759. Do not take your waterguns off-world.
A. The natives won't know what to make of them.
B. Or they might be afraid of them.
C. Or you might lose them.
She just wanted to make sure that everyone knew that. Now, as a result, there were large racks by the 'Gate for people to leave their waterguns when they were off-world and where they pick them up as soon as they were back on Atlantis.
760. No messing with people's waterguns while you are off-world.
A. That will get you assassinated!
A few newcomers had tried. They failed miserably.
761. Do not play Assassins around the Infirmary or Dr. Keller's quarters.
A. She has her wedding dress.
B. If you damage the wedding dress, you will suffer the consequences.
Jen was stressed out and she wanted the whole Expedition to know that she wasn't going take any chances with her dress. Ronon was backing her, even though he was very upset about her enacting the Earth tradition that he was not allowed to see the dress before the wedding. The entire medical staff was supporting Jen in her decision and going out of their way to keep him from even glimpsing the dress.
Elizabeth smiled. With Jen and Ronon's wedding(s) fast approaching, they were both stressed and excited. They were having their Atlantis wedding first, with Elizabeth overseeing it, before going back to Earth to have the wedding with Jen's family and friends. They had decided to honeymoon on Earth, since Ronon had had very little chance to spend time explore the planet and Jen was more than happy to show him around.
Well, that's this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it! You know what to do! Let me know what you think.