" So, have you decided what you want to do with Amanda?" Sean asked not wanting an uncomfortable silence to form.
" I guess that I will listen to what Amanda has to say in a few hours." Alex replied and smiled to him.
Several hours later at Division...
Alex walked down the halls towards Amanda's office. She stopped to talk with some recruits and some guards and she found herself standing before Amanda's door ready to make the decision of her life. She was really confused, she knew that she needed to be extremely careful with Amanda. She needed to make clear herself without provoking Amanda or making her suspicious. It was a chess game that as a price had her own life. Alex braised herself and knocked the door.
" Come in." Amanda's voice was heard.
Alex slowly opened the door and took a step inside.
" Is it a bad time? I can come back later if you have work to do." Alex said politely when she saw Amanda doing paper work.
Amanda looked up at Alex and smiled softly.
" No. It is a perfect time, I was just bored. Come in." Amanda replied glad that Alex wasn't defensive from the beginning of their conversation.
Alex nodded slightly and walked towards Amanda.
" Let's sit on the couch." Amanda suggested and stood up walking away from her office and towards Alex.
Alex didn't want to fight so she obeyed and she took a seat on the couch. Amanda sat down opposite to her not wanting to make Alex feel uncomfortable.
" Let me serve you a cup of tea." Amanda said trying to be friendly with Alex. She served two cups of tea and she handed one to Alex, who didn't make any movement to accept the offer. Amanda sighed a little amused, a little hurt and she placed the cup on the table before Alex.
" I swear it is not drugged." Amanda informed Alex calmly.
Alex smiled softly and looked at Amanda.
" I am not going to take my chances." Alex replied softly.
" If I taste my tea first and prove you my word, are you going to taste yours, too? It is a pity to deprive yourself from such a wonderful refreshment just because I created bad experiences." Amanda retorted seriously.
" I will consider it." Alex replied honestly.
Amanda nodded and tasted her tea. She locked her eyes with Alex's wanting to pass the message that she kept her promise and didn't drug her tea.
" I am still standing. I haven't collapsed yet. It is not drugged." Amanda commented.
" It isn't drugged with a sedative. I don't believe that the tea is completely clean but I will play along with you this time." Alex replied firmly. Alex slowly lifted the cup of tea to her mouth and tasted the tea. She placed the cup back down on the table praying not to have put herself in trouble and looked at Amanda.
" Happy now?" Alex requested a little harsh.
" It tastes good, doesn't it?" Amanda returned the question smiling.
" What am I doing here, Amanda? I can assume that I am not here to talk about your tea.." Alex replied starting to lose her patience. Amanda's soft side made Alex uncomfortable and she felt exposed and unprepared not knowing what to expect from this side of Amanda.
" No, you aren't here to talk about my tea but but we don't have a need to go directly down on business- if you can call it like that. We are human beings and we like the communication." Amanda replied calmly and her smile fainted.
" How are you after everything that happened with Katya and Nikita? Can I do anything to minimize your pain?" Amanda asked worried. She was really worried that everything that happened to Alex the last weeks would be too much for the young girl to handle.
" I would prefer it if we could chat with our intetions clear. And I am doing fine and I would love it if you respected my wish and not talk about this." Alex retorted trying not to lose her temper.
" As you wish. I can't and I don't want to continue working in a hostile envirnment. We have to learn how to cooperate, how to trust each other, how to communicate with each other. You are here because I think that it is time for both of us to leave the past behind and move foward" Amanda replied seriously.
" We don't work in a hostile environment. We work in an environment of truce and I am not sure that we can do something better than that." Alex commented calmly.
" We can, Alex. I am not talking about erasing the past because I know that we can't do that. But the past is the past and we shouldn't let it affect our future. Just let's make a new start." Amanda said devastated. For her own reasons she wanted badly to fix her relationship with Alex, but she couldn't tell her reasons now, she would give the wrong impression and she needed Alex by her side.
" And what next, Amanda? What about the next time that you will feel betrayed? What about the next time that we will argue? What then? Are you going to kill me with your bare hands or you will continue your old habit and torture the hell out of me?" Alex asked coldly pointing to Amanda that their relationship was really damaged.
" I don't want to do this anymore, Alex, not to you. I am sorry for what I did in the past but I don't want to continue like this." Amanda replied defeated.
" This isn't an answer to my question, Amanda. What if you feel betrayed again?" Alex insisted to her question.
" Are you planning to back-stab me anytime soon?" Amanda returned the question threateningly.
" I don't know. What I know, is that I am not and I will never be loyal to Division. I am not willing to die protecting this facility." Alex retorted calmly.
" If you betray Division, I am not going to take any actions against you." Amanda said firmly after thinking a while. Her relationship with Alex was more important than Division. She knew that now.
" You are Division, Amanda. Your whole life you are caring only about this place. Betraying Division is the same as betraying you and this is a risk that I am not willing to take. I don't know what the future is going to bring with it but I know that people don't change just like that." Alex replied seriously trying to find the hidden truth behind Amanda's words.
" Alex, why do you always have to make our relationship so complicated?" Amanda asked quietly.
" Because it is complicated." Alex replied softly. She was trying with her everything to keep her emotions on the lease and the conversation in low tones.
" Forget about Division, oversight, everything. This is about us." Amanda retorted.
" I can't forget about everything, Amanda. Because this is who we are. We aren't just two ordinary women who had a fight in some cafeteria. We handle guns, we run black ops, we kill people, we torture enemies and friends, we destroy lifes. I can't forget about Division because Division is part of ourselves in one way or another. And I can't forget what you caused to those who decided to defy you and escape your claws." Alex replied seriously.
" Are we talking about Nikita? I didn't go after Nikita because she defied me. " Amanda said calmly and braised herself to reveal the truth.
" So why are you so obsessed with her?" Alex asked confused. Those years working with Nikita and Amanda, she had ended up to the conclusion that Amanda was obsessed with Nikita because she betrayed her and worked against her.
" For the same reason that I am obsessed with you. You have noticed that after you told me who you really are, I torture you but not kill you. I am not doing so because I am a heartless monster who likes to see you suffer. I am doing so because no matter what I can't bring myself to kill you. I care about you, Alex. I really do." Amanda mentioned.
" And I.. I love you" Amanda added whispering.
Alex stood in complete shock not knowing how to react to Amanda's confession of love. She was in absolute shock.
" You don't cause pain to those that you love. You don't try to destroy them. Your love or whatever you think that you feel it is not something that I can say that I am lucky to receive.. I am sorry, Amanda, but I don't want to hurt you, but torturing isn't love." Alex managed to say.
" And what is love, Alex? What Katya or what Nikita show to you is love?" Amanda asked harsh and she immediately regretted it.
" I am sorry, Alex. I am really sorry. I didn't want to tell that. I am sorry." Amanda aplogized immediately when tears covered Alex's eyes.
Alex closed her eyes in order to control her tears.
" Can we finish here please?" Alex requested trying to keep her voice stable.
" You have every right to be mad at me, to despise me and hate me. I am just asking you to let me give you the truth and then it is your choise. Please. Just give me one more minute." Amanda pleaded. She had messed the things up one more time. Now she had to tell Alex the truth.
Alex nodded defeated. Amanda stood up and walked back to her desk, she took a file in her hands and handed it to Alex. Alex glared at it curiously.
" The truth. This is why I am so obsessed with you and Nikita." Amanda said.
Alex opened the file. It was a medical file. She read it again and again and again unable to get in what she was reading. That wasn't possible. This isn't true. This is one of Amanda's mind games. It can't be true, can it? Alex was pale terrified of what she was reading, inside her she could feel that it was true, it wasn't one of Amanda's games but it was difficult to process the information. After 10 times that she read the file, she looked up at Amanda.
" It isn't another game. It is true." Amanda replied to Alex's gaze.
" No." Alex said in denial and threw the file in the table.
" Alex.." Amanda tried to calm her down.
" Alex, relax." Amanda added and took a step back afraid of Alex's outbrust.
" Don't tell me to relax. Explain me this DNA test with names, Amanda. I might have misunderstood something. Who is sample A, B and C?" Alex shouted ready to explode. What she had just read was just impossible.
" Nikita is your sister Alex and you are both my daughters, this is why I am obsessed with you." Amanda said defeated but firmly.
" I am your birth mother, Alex." Amanda repeated.