Indelible

A/N: Time for some clarification on that unexpected declaration from Edward.

Chapter 37: In Pursuit of More

My heart stutters, the air leaves my lungs, and there's a whooshing sound in my ears. "Y-you…w-what?" I stammer, staring at Edward in shock, my heart thumping and thudding in my chest because he's thinking about moving to Washington?!

His eyes search mine and his mouth twitches, as if he'd like to smile but isn't sure my reaction has given him cause.

"Bella, I love you," he says with conviction, drawing me closer in his arms as we stand along the shore. "I really want more with you than too-short visits, looming departure dates, and weeks or months apart. So, I'm thinking about moving…to Forks…but I need to know how you feel."

Oh my god and holy crap! Not just Washington, but Forks?! That's crazy! Or he is. He's willing to just give up everything he has in Chicago and move to Forks?! For me?!

I'm suddenly acutely aware that we're both holding our breath. He's uncertain and waiting, wanting to know how I feel. But I'm feeling lightheaded and dizzy and I'm suffering from thought soup.

"I feel…like my knees are about to give out," I confess, and in the moonlight I can see a definite smile tugging at his lips.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't want you collapsing and washing out to sea now," he says with a little smirk. "Come, let's find a dry spot where we can sit and talk."

My thoughts are a jumble of questions and concerns as he guides me away from the shoreline, his arm wrapped securely around me. We move up the beach, where the sand is cool but dry. Dropping down to sit cross-legged in the silvery sand, he smiles as he reaches up, pulling me down to sit across his lap. I wrap an arm around his shoulders, hanging onto him for stability—both literally and figuratively.

"Better?" he asks, looping an arm around my hips, his other hand carefully tucking my wind-blown hair back behind my ear.

"Much. Thank you."

He tilts his head then, his expression so completely earnest as he gazes into my eyes. "Tell me what you're thinking, Bella."

"Edward… I… Wow…" I stop. And then I start again. "You're serious? About moving? To Forks? Just like that?" I can't even speak in fully formed sentences. All I can do to spout rapid-fire half-questions.

"I am," he affirms in a calm voice, his warm eyes intensely focused on mine. "Exactly like that."

"But… This is so fast! How can you just suddenly…move? You can't do that… Can you?" His lips curve into a smile, hearing that hopeful tone in my voice, even though I'm trying really hard to be pragmatic about this. Someone needs to be the voice of reason. Right?

Reaching up, he smooths the pad of his thumb above the bridge of my nose, responding to a frown of concern I don't even realize I'm wearing. As his gaze drops back to mine, I see a flicker of amusement in his eyes and the tiny lift at the corner of his mouth as his hand reaches for mine, lacing our fingers together.

"Of course I can move, Bella. People move and start over all the time. You just put out the fire, pull up the stakes, fold up the tent and…go."

I can't believe he's making light of this huge decision! He has a great job in Chicago with a possible upcoming promotion. And he has family there. And friends. How can leave it all just like that? Has he really thought this through?

I can't help but worry. Once upon a time he made another impulsive decision that he came to regret—one that we both regretted. What if he comes to regret this one? As much as I want what he's contemplating, I don't want him to make a mistake. Nor do I want to be the reason for one.

"Edward, I would love nothing more than to have you closer, but what about your job? And that promotion you were talking about yesterday at lunch? You're okay with just passing that up?"

"I am," he says with a nod. "It's not a sure thing anyway—it could still go to my friend Pete and probably will if I move. But I could always look into the Victim and Witness Assistance Program in Clallam County, once I pass the Bar Exam in Washington. Or go back to being a prosecutor. With my background and experience, I'm not worried about finding work. There's a lot I could do." He smiles reassuringly. And then his smile becomes more of a smirk. "If worse comes to worst, I can always crank out coffees at the Cup and Saucer or be a stock boy at Newton's."

His unexpected comment strikes me funny and I'm unable to suppress my giggle. He chuckles right along with me, even though I don't share where my thoughts have gone. I can just imagine Jessica neglecting her own work so she can chat up Edward for fresh gossip and stare at his ass all day while he stocks shelves.

"But seriously…" Edward continues after the moment of levity has passed. "For as rewarding as my professional life has been, it's just not going to be enough anymore. My own personal life hasn't been a priority in a very long time, but now I have reason to make it one—I have you, and you're a priority to me now, too. I want a personal life filled with you."

"Oh, Edward…" The sincerity in his voice and longing in his eyes make my heart melt. If this were a Victorian novel, I'd probably be swooning right now. Instead I wrap my arms more tightly around his neck, hugging him, unable to resist kissing him and his sweet mouth.

"So, what else are you worrying about…on my behalf?" he asks, once I've let him go. He gives me that crooked little half-smile—it's a smug little thing and I can't help but laugh at him and his twinkly eyes and smirky-smiley mouth. He knows me so well and I think he knows he's halfway there, convincing me he's more certain than certifiable in regards to relocating. But if our roles were reversed, he'd be doing the same—worrying about my worries for me and with me. And so I bring up another concern.

"You're fine with leaving your family behind?" I ask, knowing he's always been close to his parents—they helped him raise his son, after all.

He nods again. "I can always fly back to visit my folks, or they can fly out, but the most important part of my family is already in Seattle, and will be for the foreseeable future. And if I live closer to Mase that will undoubtedly alleviate a lot of stress for me and probably stave off a few gray hairs." I smile, certain he's right—heck, there's a good chance he'd pull much of that lovely hair out, worrying from afar.

"It would be nice for you to be able to see Masen more often than holidays and summers. I'm sure it would be good for both of you—and for your glorious coif, of course." He chuckles and nods, sliding his arms up around me, inside my cardigan. Fleetingly I wonder if he's getting cold out here without a jacket, but before I can ask, his expression grows more serious once again as he continues speaking.

"The thing is…when I think about returning to Chicago now, it's just so depressing. The two people I love most will be in Washington. So, I know this seems quick, but believe me, I have thought this through. I'm very sure about this…" His arms tighten around me, pulling me closer, and intuitively I know he means us and what has reignited between us. "I want to pursue this…I want to pursue you…but not from halfway across the country or when time permits."

My heart does a cartwheel at his fervent declaration and the promising and smoldering look in his eyes. But he's not alone in his thoughts and desires. I want to pursue this as much as he does. He only wants to move things forward and the only way to do that, clearly, is for one of us to move. Reaching up, I caress his lovely, handsome face.

"Honestly, I've been thinking about the same thing, Edward. I want more with you on a more regular basis, too. I just didn't figure we'd be addressing the logistics of that so quickly." He smiles, clearly happy to hear that I want what he does.

"Well, what can I say?" he asks with a grin. "Delayed gratification is overrated. I don't want to wait for some imaginary cautionary waiting period to pass. I'm impatient and eager and I'm literally ready to move on." I smile at him. At least he's honest and it does appear our feelings for each other have already withstood the test of time.

"You don't want me to consider moving to Chicago?" I ask, because I feel like I should put it out there.

He blinks, and frowns. "Why? Do you…want to move to Chicago?"

Crap. Now that he's asking, I don't know what answer to give him. I wasn't exactly expecting this topic of conversation. And I'm not exactly anxious to live in a major city. Been there, done that with Mom a few times.

"Well…I mean…I don't know," I tell him. "I haven't really…thought about it. I've never been there…so of course I don't know what Chicago is like." He grins at my rambling half-assed answer, but it's all I've got. He snorts a laugh, shaking his head, and I know he saw right through my half-assed, rambled bullshit.

"Well, just so you know, Bella… Chicago is the third largest city in the U.S. It's like Seattle on steroids. It's Seattle…times four. The summers are hotter and more humid, and the winters are colder and longer. And it is the Windy City, so it's windy as well, obviously. But I don't want you thinking you have to move there to accommodate me.

"You just got your own life settled in Forks, and I don't want to uproot you if you're happy there. I still have some friends there and I have good memories of the years I lived there. The slower pace, the small town feel, and the tight-knit community are appealing. You don't get all that living in a city, and I kind of miss those things now that I've experienced them again. Forks just feels kind of…homey, you know?"

"It does have a definite appeal," I agree. "And I am happy in Forks. Even with Dad gone, I still feel connected to him there, and my friends really have become like family to me." Edward nods, his eyes soft and understanding.

"I know. And I don't want you to give that up. So, I'd really like to come back."

Putting it like that, I wonder if a part of him, in his own Edward way, is trying to make amends for the heart-breaking decision he made years ago. But even if that is partly the case, I'm not going to try to talk him out of it. Maybe he needs that, even if I don't. And down the road, if staying in Forks isn't the right decision for him, he can always…like he said… 'put out the fire, pull up the stakes, fold up the tent and go.' And I can go with him. Because I would. For him I would.

"When did you decide all this?" I ask, suddenly curious, knowing it can't possibly have been long in the works. He smiles sheepishly, telling me I'm right before he even explains.

"It's been on my mind as we've grown closer, but I guess I really thought it all through primarily…last night…or maybe it was early this morning…I don't know which. But I really feel like it's the right thing to do and it's what I want to do."

I nod, smiling at him. My poor, sweet man can't have slept very much last night…or this morning.

"So…?" he asks anxiously, skimming a hand through his hair. "What do you think?"

I smile at him and his telltale nervous tic. But considering what he's suggesting… We've been in each other's thoughts and hearts for so long, maybe it's time for our adventure together to begin.

"Well, Edward, what I think is…I should still come to Chicago…and I can help you pack."

His lips part in surprise and then curl up into a face-splitting grin. "Seriously?!" he laugh-gasps.

"Yes. Seriously." I nod, smiling my own face-splitting grin.

"Yes! Whoo-hoo! Yes!" His exuberant shouts and the pure, unadulterated joy on his face are infectious. I'm laughing at him and with him, clutching him as he clutches me hard to his chest.

"She said yes!" he yells over my shoulder. Turning my head, I see a couple walking down along the shore, staring at us in all our commotion.

"Edward!" I smack him on the chest even as we hear a "Congratulations!" called back in response. My face heats instantly. They must surely assume I've just accepted a marriage proposal, and the last thing I need is for Edward to get any other wild ideas tonight.

But Edward just laughs, looking back at me in his arms. "What?!"

"You're just…crazy," I tell him, deflecting.

"Crazy for you, Bella Swan… Always crazy for you," he says happily, snuggling me close.

"And I'm hopelessly crazy for you, Edward Cullen," I reply with a content sigh of my own.

He smiles exultantly and kisses the tip of my nose. Suddenly we're tipping over. I shriek before I realize he's merely pulling me down with him as he lies back, stretched out and towel-free on the sand. But my position is awkward. I'm afraid I'll injure a crucial body part of his—which would put a real damper on our now-even-more-romantic impromptu tryst vacation—so I try to carefully move off of him. But he's not having it. He just growls and pulls me back, adjusting me more comfortably…and safely…over him and his crucial body part.

His arms wrap around me as I lie atop him and we begin kissing. In the sand. In the dark. By the sea. We can't stop smiling at each other between kisses, like a couple of goofy teenagers with no place to take our horny selves but a deserted beach. Of course this beach isn't deserted, and we're definitely not teens, but with Edward's hands already moving down to my backside, horny is clearly within our grasp.

"You'll really come help me pack?" he asks, straddling the line between happy and horny as he presses me down over his already hard, crucial body part.

"Of course, I will," I assure him, planting a smiling kiss on his smiling lips.

"And will you help me look for a place to live?" he asks, multi-tasking as he moves me slightly over him.

"I'll do whatever you need." I kiss the soft underside of his jaw. "I just hope you won't regret doing this." He stops the push and pull, his hands moving up to frame my face, as he tips his head up, looking at me intently.

"I could never regret this, Bella. My only regret will ever be that this didn't happen years ago. But we'll just have to make up for lost time, okay?"

I nod. "We definitely will, Edward." And with that he wraps his hand around the back of my neck, pulling my mouth to his, and he kisses me. Really kisses me. It's slow and deep and it feels like a pact and a promise, filled with hope for the future.

When we come up for air, I push myself up to straddle him. We're both breathless, chests rising and falling, mouths worked over but anxious for more. And damn, if horny doesn't look good on Edward. It's almost hard to look at him—his masculine beauty, combined with that dark, love-lust heat in his eyes. There's just no disguising it. He takes my breath away and I already have so little to spare.

"We should probably think about taking this inside," I suggest, trying to keep a level head even as his hands slip beneath the rucked-up fabric of my skirt and his deft fingers begin ghosting up along the bare skin of my thighs.

He blinks, like he's been carried away on the wings of desire, completely forgetting where we are. Squeezing my legs gently in a brief, wistful goodbye, he withdraws his hands and sits up.

"You're right. This really isn't the proper place to celebrate," he murmurs, leaning into me and trailing kisses along my neck as I wrap my arms around him.

And feel sand all over the back of his shirt.

And in his hair.

"Oh, God… Edward, you have sand everywhere!" I giggle, running my fingers through his hair while plucking at the back of his shirt to rid both of the sand. At least it's dry and falls away easily.

"Clearly, you had me distracted and I wasn't thinking…clearly," he says, tipping his head back, ruffling and raking his own fingers through his hair more vigorously.

After he helps me up from his lap, I take his outstretched hands and pull him to his feet. Before swatting the sand off the back and sides of his jeans, he makes an adjustment in the front of them. And I just can't resist commenting.

"You've just got all kinds of issues, don't you?" I ask, stifling my giggle but unable to stifle my blush.

"My issues are all your fault," he says, unembarrassed and shooting me a sexy grin.

"My fault?!" I laugh. "I didn't ask you to be my human beach towel!"

He chuckles as he peels off his shirt, leaving him half-naked, barefoot, and beautiful in the moonlight. As if I didn't already have enough issues of my own... We really need to get back to the hotel so we can work on our issues together and do better than a half-naked Edward.

"Here, use this to brush off my back. I got sand down my shirt." He hands me his shirt and turns around, and I do as he asked.

"At least you seem willing to help me out with my issues," he observes after a moment, looking over his shoulder with another smirky grin. Sexy smart-ass.

"Well, this is the only issue I'm helping you with out here." I shake out his shirt before returning it to him. "Your other issue will have to wait until we get to the room," I tease, proud of my own sexy smart-ass self as he blinks eyes that grow more heated than smirky.

Yanking on his shirt he reaches for my hand. "Well, let's get going, then. I'll race you back to the room."

I laugh as we start heading back across the sand, walking with far more purpose than our earlier casual stroll out here.

"This won't be a very competitive race if you hold my hand the whole way," I point out.

"I don't want you falling behind. I'd hate to get there first and have to start without you." His mouth curves into a grin as he side-eyes me. Yeah, that's a definite visual to make a girl blush. And he knows it. And I snort a little laugh because I can see he's proud of himself.

Slipping my hand from his, I break into a jog. "See you when you get there!" I call over my shoulder. I hear his bark of surprised laughter and then I hear him running behind me, keeping up easily.

We're so caught up in our rush to return to the hotel, that we bypass our sandals and shoes, piled somewhere in the sand. "Keep going," Edward says when we remember them. "I'll find them and catch up."

"Hurry! Don't make me start without you!" I call after him as he turns back toward the beach. His response is something between a groan and a laugh and I'm giggling and mentally patting myself on the back.

Once he catches up, we decide to duck into the Sunset Bar's restrooms to use the facilities and clean the remaining sand off our hands and feet. When I step back outside, he's already waiting for me, sport shoes on his feet, the tops of his white socks dangling from the back pocket of his jeans. Taking each other's hands once again, we hurry along the walkway back to the hotel.

*I*

We're nearly to the elevator when Edward stops abruptly, exhaling a low oath and rolling his eyes.

"What?" I ask.

"I left my bag with the bellman! I was too anxious to get to you when I arrived. See how distracting you are?!" I laugh, already tugging us in the direction of the front desk.

After retrieving his bag, we hurry back to the old historic elevator with its brass filigree grate. Inside is an actual elevator operator—an older man who introduces himself as Afton—which means there will be no torrid make-out session until Edward and I get to our room. Afton makes friendly conversation with us as we endure the slow ride to our floor. Of course Edward and I are polite, but I wonder if the poor man feels the lust vibrating off of us like a force field.

Arriving on our floor, we exchange goodnights with Afton, and as the elevator begins its descent Edward and I are already striding quickly down the hallway to our room. Jittery with anticipation, I get the giggles, and Edward starts chuckling too. Our intent is so obvious we might as well be sprinting and ripping off out clothes as we go. I start pulling off my cardigan and his room key is out and at the ready, before we've even reached our door.

Unlocking it quickly when we get there, we burst into the room, laughing at ourselves as I fling my sweater onto a chair and Edward unceremoniously drops his bag to the floor. He shoves the door closed behind us, simultaneously bolting it, and I'd pull him to me but he's already on me, pressing me up against the door. With one hand on my jaw and the other curled around the back of my neck, he crushes his mouth to mine. Reaching up over his shoulders, I twine my fingers into his hair, holding him close, and swallowing his low growl as he grinds his hips into mine.

When I feel him toeing off his shoes, I follow suit, kicking my sandals to the side. We move toward the bed in fits and starts and a trail of clothing follows us. I yank off my top as he loses his shirt, then his mouth returns to mine while his fingers work the hooks of my bra. Sliding my hands down his bare chest and stomach, I reach between us, unbuttoning his jeans. He slips off my bra and I shove his pants and boxers down off his hips. Distracted by so much skin, we take a moment, touching and teasing, stroking and gasping. I'm practically writhing by the time we part, and pushing my skirt down, I let it float to a puddle at my feet. Shoving his jeans and boxers off, Edward kicks them aside. Finally, his hands skim down my legs, ridding me of my panties as we arrive at our final destination of the evening.

Edward yanks back the covers and follows me down onto the bed. I pull him on top of me, wanting to feel the full weight of him, pinning me in place. I hold him there as he kisses me hard on the mouth, and I open to him, inviting him in, needing and wanting nothing more than this closest of connections with this man. His beautiful hungry eyes remain locked on mine as he lifts his weight to his forearms and presses forward with a long, hard stroke. We quickly find our rhythm among deep thrusts and rolling hips, fierce kisses and lust-laden breaths. With whispered words of love and desire, we push each other onward and upward.

This feels so urgent, the passion more incredibly intense than either last night or this morning. But we're no longer rekindling a long lost past. We're forging a new future.

A/N: Well, he included her in his rash decision-making process this time around. ;) I hope you'll share your thoughts.