Ventus checked the time again: 8:15 AM. He had been waiting at the bus stop since 8 o'clock and Vanitas should've arrived by now but there was no sign of him. Ventus called him for the fifth time and for the fifth time he heard his phone ring unceasingly without being answered.
It was alright to be late, it was alright to even give up classes that day, but if that was the case Vanitas would warn him about it. What was really concerning was the voice he heard on the other side of the line.
That harsh voice could only belong to Xehanort. And Vanitas hung up so quickly when the adult spoke to him… Even the way he said goodbye was as if he was… Afraid?
Ventus took a deep breath, his uneasiness growing. Why didn't he answer the goddamn phone? What if something had happened? It was Vanitas who he was talking about and Vanitas hid things from him, things who seemed to be directly connected to his father. The blond hadn't told anyone about his suspicions because they were unfounded but he couldn't stop worrying about them now.
The boy sighed when he saw the bus arriving with Vanitas nowhere to be seen. He waited for the door to open and went up the stairs but stopped on the last step.
"I'm sorry, sir, wrong bus!" He said to the driver and got off, making his way back home. It would be useless to go like that, he wouldn't be able to focus on the class, and right now he really needed to know where Vanitas was and if he was okay.
As he entered his home he saw Roxas at the kitchen, looking like he had just woken up. Their mother was right after him, sleepy and still wearing her pajamas.
"Ven? Weren't you going to the Music School?" Roxas asked.
"Vanitas wasn't there! And he won't reply to my messages neither answer my calls!"
"That's strange… Didn't you talk to him during breakfast?" It was his mother.
"I… I did but then he hung up, like, really fast. I thought he was going to be there so I could ask what happened, but he wasn't!"
"What do you mean by hung up really fast?"
His father entered the kitchen, having listened to their worried tones and stood beside them.
"We were just chatting and then I heard… Someone enter his house and speak, he sounded angry. Then Vani said goodbye and hasn't talked to me since then" Ventus checked his device just in case Vanitas had called him now but he hadn't.
"Why didn't you tell us before, son?" The boy's mother asked, drying her hands.
"I thought… I thought that was just his father, I don't know, but now I'm worried mom!" Ventus put his backpack on the floor "Can't we go to his house, see if he's alright?"
"We don't know where he lives though..." Roxas said, not trying to put him down but it was the truth and Ven knew that. The youngest blond crossed his arms.
"Yeah, but we do know his street. I can ask someone about him, I don't care. I'm just… I've got a really bad feeling!"
"When was the last time you spoke?" His father asked.
"Around an hour ago"
"Are you sure he wasn't busy back then?"
"No, he told me he was making coffee and ready to meet me at the bus stop!"
"Alright. I'll take you there then, let's go" The man said promptly and Roxas followed, as worried as they were "We'll be right back"
"Maybe I should go with you?" The woman asked.
"It's alright. We'll be back soon"
As soon as their father started the car Roxas looked to his brother and although he didn't know about his thoughts on Vanitas' dad he could tell his worry couldn't be for nothing. Ventus held his cellphone close all the time in case Vanitas called him. Deep inside however he felt that wasn't going to happen.
His father turned the street corner and slowed down as they arrived at the neighborhood he lived in. The street was really quiet, save for some people sitting on the sidewalk who stared at them while speaking. Roxas gulped.
"We shouldn't stick around for too long. See how they stare at us?"
HIs father narrowed his eyes, searching for someone on the street who was alone. He saw a teenager smoking a few meters ahead and slowed even more.
"Dad-" Roxas called but Ventus was looking to her as well, anxious.
"Excuse me" Their father called "I'm sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to ask: Do you know someone around here called Vanitas?"
The girl raised a brow and smiled "Are you a friend of his?"
"I am" Ventus spoke and the girl looked to him "But I don't know where he lives. Could you tell me?"
"Ah, that's an easy one. You see that blue house over there? Number 13. I only know one Vanitas around and he definitely lives there. Although I don't think he's home at the moment"
Ventus widened his eyes "Do you know where he might be?"
"Not really. I saw him in the car with his father but I have no idea where they went"
The adult smiled with relief but Ventus shivered. It was his father who screamed at him back then and then they left without Vanitas even telling him to where? His stomach churned.
"Oh, if he's with his dad then he must be alright, son" The adult said but lost his smile when he saw how worried Ventus was.
"Y… Yeah. I hope so"
Both him and Roxas frowned in dismay as Ventus bit his lips. He must've looked really concerned but he hoped they didn't ask any questions he couldn't answer. Not yet.
"Well… We'll be going then. Thank you for your help" The man said and the girl nodded, throwing her cigarette on the trash and watching as they left. Chris sighed and looked to Vanitas' house as well, still hoping that wasn't blood she saw on Vanitas' face through the car window.
Xehanort kept his arms crossed over his chest all the time, watching as the doctor addressed the boy's nasal injury as minor. Thankfully his nose hadn't been displaced and after long painful minutes of waiting and checking he only prescribed him pain medication and nasal decongestant, encouraging him to wrap ice on a cloth and place it over the nose to help reduce the pain.
"If it continues to bleed stop using the decongestant and come see me again as soon as possible. Do not forget to elevate your head when you sleep"
The man continued. He had a soft voice, a really caring one, and looked to Vanitas as a proud but worried father should, unlike the one who was standing a few steps away from him. When he stopped he put a hand on the teenager's shoulder, smiling to him.
"It's a good thing that it isn't crooked, my boy" He looked down to Vanitas' hand, seeing as he was still holding the cool compress on it "Remember everything I told you and you'll be alright in no time"
Vanitas nodded but even that small movement seemed to hurt immensely. He looked and felt miserable as if his spirit had been crushed, and to an extend it really had. He just couldn't stop thinking about Ventus and how worried or angry he must be right now.
Once they left Xehanort took the lead, walking fast and talking about how he had lost half of his day there and how he'd have to buy painkillers for the boy. Vanitas hadn't said a word since they left his home and he wouldn't say anything else for a while. He only listened, listened from the moment they left the hospital to the moment they finally got home.
"I hope you learned your lesson" Xehanort said once they were inside and Vanitas lowered his gaze to see his cellphone on the table "Maybe now you'll think twice before disobeying me"
Vanitas swallowed but he wasn't paying attention to him anymore. He was staring to his device, seeing the many times Ven had called him, and a deep sadness filled his heart. He hated to let him down, and it destroyed him to feel the deep concern there was in each of Ven's messages.
The boy stared to his hand. He'd have to buy an ointment later and also more painkillers. He had already cooled the burnt area at the hospital, now he just needed to be careful while it healed. Make sure he didn't hurt it more than it already was. Sighing he went to his bedroom with the device in hand.
A few minutes while staring to the ceiling and trying to make sense of the void inside his head his phone rang again. Damn it, he forgot to tell Ventus he was home…
"Vani? Vani, can you hear me?" Ventus asked desperate from the other side of the line.
"Hi, Ven. I'm sorry, I-" Vanitas took a deep breath.
"Are you alright? You disappeared and I didn't tell me where you were! We went to your house and there was no one there!"
Vanitas turned pale. To… His house? Had they found out exactly where he lived?
"I'm alright, yeah" He struggled to said, struggled to lie without letting his anger or his melancholy show "I'm sorry, Ven"
"What happened? I heard someone talking to you-"
"Oh yeah, that… That was my dad" Vanitas swallowed dry, closing his eyes "He… There were some guys bothering him and I was stupid enough to get into a fight with them"
"A fight?"
"They got me by surprise, broke my nose and I had to rush to the hospital. I forgot my phone here, that's why-"
"They broke your nose?" Ventus exclaimed, alarming his parents and brother who were close to him "And how are you right now?"
"Oh, it's been put back" Vanitas said with an unwilling laughter "There's no need to worry about it now, it's just swollen"
"Vani..." Ventus held his breath. How could he not worry? "I'll ask my dad to take me there so I can see you, okay? It won't be a problem! Right, dad?"
Vanitas heard the adult agree, saying they would go immediately to check on him. In other circumstances he would have smiled. Staring to his burnt hand, he teared up again.
"Ah…. Now might not be a good time, Ven"
The boy went silent, his smile dropping.
"Not today, at least. I… I'll take the day off to rest, to recover from the hit and sleep a little bit. Alright?" The raven continued, saddened. He really wanted to see Ventus now but he couldn't risk with his father home. Besides, he really didn't feel well. It was better to recover instead of crying in front of the blond.
"Oh… Oh, sure, it's okay" Ventus finally replied after what felt like an eternity. He should remember that Vanitas was hurt and really should rest. Still… "Let's keep talking then. When you wake up that is"
"Sure. I'll send you a message when I'm up" Vanitas smiled softly. He knew he couldn't hide forever but he could avoid talking about that at least for now.
"Right… Take care, okay?"
"Leave it to me"
Vanitas hung up and turned his phone off, shooting a quick glance to his plushie which now stood next to Ventus' Wayfinder. His inner child must be so ashamed of him, stuck in there after so much happened and after so long.
He turned on the bed, groaning. He would try to sleep even if a little, hoping the pain would subside until he woke. Bothered, Vanitas closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep until he finally did it.
At the twins' house, their parents looked at Ventus intrigued. The boy returned their look.
"He… He said he got into a fight and broke his nose"
"God… And how is he?"
"He said he's fine. But said it wasn't a good idea to see us today 'cause he's going to rest for now"
The four of them were quiet for a few seconds and Ventus rubbed his palms on his neck, distressed. Roxas lowered his gaze.
"He said he's fine but you don't think he is. Right, brother?"
The youngest agreed. Something about that wasn't right, he felt it. He needed to find out what it was. He needed to make Vanitas tell him, but how?
To make matters worse, on the following day Vanitas barely talked to him. He sent him a message saying he didn't feel well and nothing more. Ventus tried calling him during the afternoon, but his cell phone was turned off. There was relief in knowing he was at his home but there was also worry for the same reason.
Monday. Ventus still kept the routine he followed on weekends; that said, he woke up earlier than everyone in the house, went out to buy some bread and made the coffee, setting the table and waiting for his mother and brother to join him.
"So?" His mother asked after wishing them a good morning "How is he?"
"He said he's fine" Ventus replied, taking a sip from his cup of coffee with milk "But I still don't believe that. I… I just never thought he would avoid me like he's doing"
"Don't feel bad for that" Roxas said "I'm sure he really wants to see you, but he must be afraid of something… For whatever reason"
"Why don't you tell him to come here today?" His mother suggested with a smile "Tell him I was the one to invite him to spend the afternoon with us. I could bake a cake. What's his favourite flavour?"
"Hmm… I don't know. I never really asked"
"Oh but you should! He's more than your friend now, son. You need to know these things"
Ventus turned red and even Roxas blushed, lowering his head without taking his eyes off the bread he was eating. Their mother laughed at their reaction but it was a caring laughter.
"Come on, you two! You're no longer kids to hide those things from me. I can't say it isn't kind of obvious, but still!"
"Mom!" Ventus covered his face with both hands and she laughed even more. Roxas soon joined her and what could have been an uncomfortable subject turned into a gleeful talk over breakfast. Until they finished the twins were already chatting and casually talking about Vanitas and Axel.
"Alright then! I'll find out which one he likes better then I can help you with it, mom!" The younger boy said while he did the dishes and Roxas dried it.
"Very well. I'll be waiting. But you two better really help me, uh?"
"Two?" Roxas looked to his brother with a smug expression "I don't remember agreeing with this. He's your boyfriend, not mine!"
"We're not-"
Vanitas woke up at 6 o'clock on monday. He really didn't want to leave the bed and tried to fall back into sleep to no avail. His hand hurt and his nose was giving him a headache. The teen lay on his bed for as long as he could before standing up, slightly nauseous for taking a painkiller with an empty stomach, and stumbled towards the bathroom, leaning on the sink and throwing as much water as he could on his face.
He stared to his reflection on the mirror. His exhaustion was apparent but this time it wasn't just a physical one. He couldn't stop thinking for one second and even while sleeping he had messy and confusing dreams. Vanitas hated himself for still getting so worked up with what his father did to him, but he couldn't help it and all that was left was to accept that weakness of his. Minutes later he was at the kitchen, once more waiting for the water to boil for his coffee while his father was still sleeping. Better safe than sorry.
After drinking on the sidewalk and smoking four cigarettes he went inside again. Xehanort was in the living room by then but didn't even look to him. It was as if he wasn't there, as if he didn't even exist. And yet Vanitas knew Xehanort was watching his every single move.
Returning to his bedroom, the teenager considered going outside to distribute his resumés again but the mere thought stressed him out. He grumbled irritated while going through the folder where he kept them but stopped when his cell phone vibrated. He picked it up, guilt splattered all over his face.
Ventus
"Hi Vani :3 My mom is gonna bake a cake for today's afternoon and told me to ask you what's your favourite flavour. We're waiting for you here today! You better don't disappoint her, uh? :P" - 7:03 AM
Vanitas inhaled deeply. He wouldn't be able to escape him forever. Of course Ventus was going to ask what happened, of course he would want details and, for the first time in his life, Vanitas feared not being able to lie. He wished he could talk about that, to tell everything to the boy but at the same time he knew it was better to keep his mouth shut. Don't say a word about it because he didn't know how that would affect their relationship or even what Ventus would think of him. The boy was way too good, it wasn't fair to put him in such a chaotic life like his own.
Vanitas
Your mother's food is always amazing, Ven. I'll accept the cake but you can choose the flavor - 7:10 AM
Ventus
Teheee, she'll be happy to hear that :D - 7:10 AM
We'll be waiting for you then! - 7:11 AM
Vanitas
Okay. I'll be there! - 7:15 AM
Ventus
Yay :3 - 7:15 AM
3 - 7:15 AM
Ventus… Why was it so hard to lie to him? Why did it hurt to hide things from the boy even if he had hid them from everyone his entire life?
Vanitas
3 - 7:27 AM
It was around 1 PM when Vanitas went to the twins' house. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, waiting with his hand behind his waist. He could at least say hi without making a fuss…
"Vanitas! Come in, sweetheart" The boy's mother invited him as she opened the door. Since she made no comments about his swollen nose he imagined Ventus had already told everyone about that and he didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing "Ventus will be coming soon and Roxas is in the living room"
"Excuse me" He greeted her and she, as she always did, brought him closer in an embrace. Vanitas returned it, noticing how much he was craving for one, and went to talk to Roxas.
"Hey!" Roxas waved to him and then looked to his right hand "Ouch, what happened?"
"Hot water" The raven said as if it was nothing. Seconds later he heard a well know voice behind him and Ventus' hurried steps as he came down the stairs.
"Vani!" The blond jumped on him, hugging him tight enough to leave him out of breath.
"Agh, Ven-!"
"Sorry" Ventus smiled with glee but then his eyes too widened as they fell over Vanitas' hand "Vani, oh my God, what happened?!"
"Relax, blondie!" Vanitas ruffled his hair with his other hand "It's just a burn"
"But it looks bad!"
"I've never seen a good looking burn, that's for sure" He shrugged and Ventus rolled his eyes, making him laugh "I was making coffee and got distracted. Nothing special"
"When did that happen?" Ventus questioned, thinking about saturday.
"Yesterday morning"
"And why didn't you tell me anything?!"
Roxas chuckled and stood up, walking into the kitchen to get himself some water. His mother followed.
"Boys, boys, you can fight later. Come here, Vanitas, we just finished the cake!"
Vanitas poked Ventus' nose "Relax. It's just a common burn. Really"
The boy crossed his arms and frowned, but decided to let that go - For now - and smiled "Right, right… Let's eat now and then you can give me a better excuse"
"Better excuse!" Vanitas repeated, walking with the boy into the kitchen and sitting by the table, amazed by the smell of the apple cake. Ventus had asked his family not to say anything regarding Vanitas' absence or about what had happened to him. They didn't; instead they decided to discuss their plans for vacation.
"There's a waterfall on the road to Traverse Town which is awesome! We always go there for camping, at least once in the year" Roxas told him while drinking his juice.
"Traverse Town?" Vanitas felt a sting of nostalgia hit him again "I was born there. It was where I spent most of my childhood"
"Really? And you've never heard of the waterfall?"
"Can't say I have, no"
"There are always people there, we usually go with a couple of friends. We considered going this month since you're all free from school" Their mother said, smiling.
"That sounds good"
"We still don't know if we're gonna make it this month though… But whenever we do, we hope you can come with us!" Ventus said. Vanitas looked to him and then to the woman.
"That's right. We want everyone to go, it'll be fun! A family trip!"
Vanitas widened his eyes, speechless. Family trip? Did they really consider him part of their family? But it had been only a few months since...
"You're welcome here anytime, Vanitas. You should really come with us" She said. Vanitas gaze went from one to the other, uncertain about what to say, about what to feel. He was quiet for a few seconds until he smiled and let out a shy chuckle.
"Sure! I'll help you with anything you need! You just need to ask me and I'll do it"
"You could keep an eye on Ven; he behaves like a kid when we're playing in the water" Roxas joked and Ventus glared at him with a laugh. Vanitas joined them, thinking. It was insane how well he felt whenever he was with them. It was almost absurd; did he even have the right to feel this way?
When they were done eating and cleaning the kitchen Roxas and his mother went to the living room. Vanitas didn't mean to stay there for too long that day but Ventus asked him and ran up the stairs, leaving him with no choice but to follow.
As soon they entered his bedroom Ventus closed the door, threw himself on the bed and hugged his Chirithy "Come here, stay with us for a bit"
Vanitas shook his head with a silly smile and walked to him, sitting by his side. The younger boy held his burnt hand with care, staring to it and caressing its palm in silence. None of them said anything for a while so Ventus looked to him.
"What happened? What did you get into a fight for?"
Vanitas huffed; that tone of deception in the blond's voice saddened him "They were bothering my dad. He came inside, asked me to do something about it"
"But why you and not him? I know you're strong but he's the adult!"
"He didn't ask me to fight. He just… Wanted me to talk, I guess. But you know me"
The blond turned his attention to his hand again, thoughtful. There was a tangible hesitation on Vanitas' voice.
"How were they bothering… Exactly?" The boy insisted, staring to Vanitas and this time not looking away "I mean, what were they doing that your father had to call you?"
Vanitas paused for a few seconds "They're like Max and his friends, I guess"
"But I thought they went to your father first?"
"Yeah, well, they always find a way to get to me. They've done the same with you once, you know that" Vanitas said while avoiding his gaze. He was feeling cornered and felt that was exactly what Ventus wanted, which made him feel really uncomfortable.
"But why? What did you do to them?"
"I don't know, I've done so many things in my life" The raven laughed but there was nothing funny in his words "Believe me, my neighborhood isn't a good place to live at, I've done a lot of bad stuff growing up. That's why I don't want you going there without warning me, it's dangerous"
"Don't change the subject" Ventus said and he didn't sound angry but concerned. He held Vanitas' other hand, tightening his grip around it "Vani… Look at me"
Vanitas frowned and did as he was asked, surprised by how intently the boy stared to him.
"Ventus, listen-"
"Please, don't lie to me"
"Lie? Lie about what?"
"You are… You are hiding something, aren't you? You've been hiding something from me for a long time"
"Why would I hide anything from you?" Vanitas now glared back at him. He was feeling threatened and he hated that sensation. He didn't want it to continue, it couldn't or else he might lose control again!
"Because… I don't why Vani, but please, tell me the truth. Who hurt you like this?"
"I already told you who it was, Ventus. It's not my fault if you don't believe me" The other replied harshly and stood up.
"What about your hand? You didn't burn it yesterday, did you? It happened on the same day you broke your nose, wasn't it?" Ventus continued exasperated, desperate.
"I don't know why you're doing this but I don't want to hear it anymore. I better go" Vanitas said and walked away, determined to leave. He didn't want to hear that, he wouldn't and he was about to open the door when Ventus spoke.
"It was Xehanort, wasn't it?!"
Vanitas stopped with his hand on the door handle, feeling the color from his face fade and his body freeze. In a slow motion he turned to Ventus without getting away from the door.
"Xe… No. No, of course not! What are you talking about, Ventus?!" He asked sounding extremely hurt. Of course he was lying, no matter how angry he sounded, and the younger boy noticed that.
"V-Vani..." He got up, his hands shaking and his heart racing, fear and sadness in Vanitas' eyes in a way he had never seen before "Vani, I just want to help you. Please, tell me the truth. Was your father the one who hurt you?"
"W… Why do you think that? It's not… It's not like you father does this to you for you to think such a thing! Who said this to you?"
"Was it him?" The boy insisted, trembling. Vanitas glared to him in silence, his stomach turning while he tried to associate what was happening. Ventus had figured it out or at least paid enough attention to see the signs. Ventus had known something was amiss since the beginning but Vanitas never expected him to find out about it like this. The raven swallowed dry and, after what felt like an eternity, pulled away from the handle and stared down to his own feet.
"Disgraceful, isn't it?"
Ventus's heart missed a beat and he held his hands together, eyes wide in shock. Vanitas stopped denying it, he was confirming it! But Ventus never wanted that to be true, never…
"An almost adult like me, a damn 17 year old..." Vanitas clenched his teeth, nails digging against his palm "An almost adult who's afraid of going back home. Who's… Who's afraid of sleeping in his own bedroom. An idiot!"
Ventus didn't know how to react. He just stood there, his heart pounding on his chest, listening but wishing he wasn't. The older boy continued, feeling his throat go dry. Stop talking, he told himself. Stop talking. Don't say a word about it!
"No wonder I can't do anything I want! No wonder I'm a no one! All those years and I can't even bring myself to do something! All this time and I still can't react when he does whatever he wants with me!"
"V..."
"I should already be used to this but no. I always let myself be shaken by every little stupid thing! I look like a five year old, haven't changed a bit in my entire life!"
"Vani, calm d-"
"I told you once that it wouldn't be alright, nothing would ever be alright! Because no matter how much I hide, no matter how many times I lie to myself, I know I am weak because of this! I know that no matter what I do nothing will change because it never did! No matter what I do for him, no matter how much I try to please him, I never meant shit to him and I never will! And… And it's useless to try and 'comfort' me because when I get home it will mean nothing either!"
He glared to Ventus breathing deep and uncontrollably. And Ventus didn't take his eyes off him as the same scene from months ago repeated itself before him but this time he knew the reason why. And this time, Vanitas managed to stop.
The raven turned around to face the door and ran his trembly hand through his dark strands "Look… L-Look at me. I'm doing it again. Why do I always take it out on who's most important to me? You do everything for me and what do I give you in return?"
"Vani..."
"I can't even control what I feel. Must be the reason why I always end up alone, he said it was gonna happen again as he was right! Nothing but… Nothing but a burden for everyone!" He lowered his tone of voice "What are you thinking right now? When you look a me, how strong is the shame that you feel? How… How repugnant do you think-"
Then he felt arms circling around him and said nothing more. Ventus hugged him tightly, lay his head on his back and closed his eyes.
"Stop! Stop putting yourself down like this! S-Stop… B-Blaming yourself…"
Vanitas didn't move, feeling Ventus' embrace tightening without returning it. He felt ashamed and scared. He wanted no one to know about this but it was too late now. The two kept their silence and Ventus, his eyes full of tears, spoke in a low tone.
"What… What happened and… And w-why?"
Vanitas hesitated to answer "... I argued with him. I was holding the kettle, he hit my shoulder and I couldn't pull my hand in time. I wanted to put it in the water but he stood before me and I shouted at him. It was when..."
A tear left Ventus' eye "S… S-Since when…?"
"... I don't know. My entire life?" He laughed unwillingly "I don't remember anymore"
"No... " Ventus let go of him "Vani, look at me, please"
The older boy turned to him it but couldn't look directly into his eyes. He wanted to disappear. He wanted…
"Why didn't you tell me before?" The boy asked, reaching for his burnt hand again and holding it with caution and care "W-Why?"
"Because I'm afraid"
"Afraid of what? Vani..."
"Afraid of being looked at differently. Afraid… Afraid of losing any importance I have"
"Who knows? Who knows about this?"
"Except me, my father, Max and his buddies? Only you now"
The blond lowered his gaze. How could Vanitas say that in such a cold way? How could he ignore that, how could he let that happen for so long?
"You need help! Vanitas, he hurt you, you need-"
"No, I don't. It won't be too long now, just a little bit when I'll come of age then I will finally be free to leave the house without problems!"
"Come of ag-"
"I've endured it until now, Ven. Only… Only a few more months and then I'll-"
"Endured it until now! This shouldn't even have happened!"
"But it did, didn't it? It happened and it's pointless to suffer for it anymore"
"But Vanitas-"
"Someone already tried to help me, okay? And… And it only made things worse. I don't need that to happen again"
What could he say? Throughout his childhood that was all he knew. It was completely normal for his father to be the only one who didn't ask about his day, who never went out with him, who didn't care. It was normal. It was expected! And when he understood exactly what was happening it was already too late and he no longer wanted to change that, he shouldn't. He should only be grateful for having a place to live in. He should be grateful for being alive!
Ventus started to tremble and other tears fell down as he thought and remembered… Remembered the first day when he helped Vanitas with the glass on his shoulder. Remembered the countless scars, one worse than the other, that covered his back.
"V… V-Vani, your scars..."
"Please, don't make me talk about that. It's bad enough as it is"
"Don't… Don't tell me..."
"Yes, Ven, it was him!" Vanitas replied nervously, hating the situation he was in and hating himself "It was all him, some… Some of them I made myself, but the others were him. Because I wouldn't obey. Because I didn't do what he asked me to. Because I..."
Because I broke a plate. Because I didn't clean the house as good as he wanted me to. Because one day I didn't follow the rules and screamed in pain when he punched me to the floor and instead of stopping he continued and made me repeat them again and again and...
Ventus couldn't stop his tears. He didn't want to believe it but it had always been clear to him that Vanitas was in danger! And there was the confirmation and there was Vanitas talking about it was if it was no big deal. He had never looked so fragile before and it wasn't only because of the way he spoke but also because of the way he stared to Ventus. He looked to him as if apologizing.
He looked to him as if apologizing.
"Vani… I… I don't want you to suffer alone. I want to help you and I will if you let me but you have to trust me!"
"Ven, I trust you more than I trust anyone. You don't need to worry about this"
"But why? Did you really think… That I was going to judge you? O-Or that I'd look at you differently? It's not your fault!"
"How can you say that?" Vanitas asked, tearing up "How can you be so sure that it's not my fault? My mother wanted to get rid of me! She didn't give a damn but I was an idiot and asked her to come back home everyday! No one ever got close enough to me, not as I wanted them to, and I still don't understand why my father has put up with me for so long!"
"That's not true… You weren't an idiot for caring, Vanitas! Your mother didn't leave because of you, you're not guilty of anything!"
Vanitas pressed his lips together, running a hand on his face and looking away once again "How can I really believe that?"
"Stop holding it in. You don't have to be strong all the time, Vanitas"
He took a deep breath and looked to the boy "If I'm not, I won't be able to go back home, Ven"
The two looked to one another without sharing any words for a while. Ventus expected him to say something but, seeing as he wouldn't, approached and touched his face.
"I'm sorry" Vanitas apologized "I'm so sorry. I didn't want it to be like this. I didn't want this, you don't have to worry about it, you don't"
"I want to take care of you. Let me… Let me try, Vani!"
"I just… I just need to live by myself. It's about time, I need to find a job, rent a house where I can live once I'm out of my father's home!"
Ventus wanted to do something immediately. He wanted to ask more things and to know everything, but he didn't want to press Vanitas further than he already had. He wanted him to feel well. He wanted him to feel safe.
"You don't have to do all of this alone. There are people who want to help. I want to help!"
"Why bother? When the time comes it will come to end. There's… There's no need to get upset. In a way or another, it'll come to an end"
"Don't say it like that..." Ventus said with care, drying the silent tears that started to run down Vanitas' cheeks "I'll do anything I can, I just don't want you to s-suffer, Vanitas. You're important to me! You're important to all of us!"
Ventus hugged him again and this time Vanitas returned it. He rested his head on the boy's shoulder and closed his eyes, no longer able to hold his tears anymore. He knew had to leave but didn't want to. He wished he could stay there frozen to that moment because on that little moment, safe in Ventus' arms, his heart didn't hurt as much. On that little moment, their hearts beating as one, he felt he was worth something.
"It will be alright. I-I promise! We'll figure it out together, okay?"
On that little moment, he allowed himself to believe.
Author's Notes: Hello everyone! I hope you're enjoying the fic so far. Also, it's always a good idea to check the trigger warnings again!
I wanted to tell you that the next chapter might take 3 weeks to be posted. The reason why is that I'll be rewriting the first 9 chapters of Fledging Emotions in the next 2 weeks. I've noticed people have stopped reading it because of how bland the first chapter is which, of course, really saddens me but is still my fault anyway. There won't be new content, mind you; I'll just try to make the description of the scenes more complete and enjoyable. My writing has changed a lot since I first started it and while I don't really love it nowadays it is better than it was before. So once chapter 37 is posted, feel free to go to the first ones and check them if you'd like ^^ Thank you for reading!