After the first day in the hospital it became painfully obvious that I wouldn't be able to push my chair or transfer in and out of it either. It was frustrating to be stuck once again relying on others, but it all took a back seat to having her with me again. It took me a few tries to convince her that it was best to stay one more night, and in the end she gave up trying to talk me out of it. An agent was coming the second morning of our stay to get her statement in writing, even after she'd gone over it all with Cullen over the phone. She'd talked to everyone after we'd slept some more, her eyes filling with tears at the sound of their voices, her hand still entwined in mine, still lying in bed with me.
"Tempe, how are... oh... I didn't know that..." Max said, shock all over his face at seeing her in bed with me.
"Dad... We, uh, well yeah." She stammered.
"It's about time if you ask me honey." He said, smiling at us.
"How you doing Max?" I asked, as he took the chair next to the bed.
"I've been worse. How's my kid doing Booth?" He asked, watching her get uncomfortable.
"I'm right here, why don't you just ask me yourself?" She asked angrily.
"Easy Bones. He didn't mean it like that." I said softly to her.
"I'm okay. Tired, I guess. I just want to go home, but Booth insists that we stay one more night." She said looking at me with a anxious glare.
"Honey, he's right. Besides he needs to be here another day, doc told me so. We don't want to leave him here do we." Max let slip.
"What? Why? Booth what aren't you telling me?" She said grilling me.
"Just for observation Bones. Thanks Max." I said shooting him an angry look.
"I'm heading to the hotel with Cole, we can be here in fifteen minutes if you need us okay. We'll be here in the morning to pick you up." Max said, reaching out for her hand.
"How did you get released so quickly?" I asked, wondering if he was just leaving against medical orders.
"Nothing broken Booth, mild concussion. Mainly bumps and bruises, it looks worse than it is." He said stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.
"I'll see you in the morning dad." She said softly, leaning to hug him. "Thank you for not giving up on me."
"You can thank your Booth for that kiddo. His famous gut, and the soon to be famous gut of that son of his kept me looking." Max said, winking his good eye at me.
He hugged her tighter and then he was gone, headed off to sleep I assumed. She had finished all three bags of fluids and two of my puddings before the nurse came in to unhook the IV from her arm. I lie there watching her interact with the nurse, un-important banter between them until she left and Bones climbed back in with me.
"Booth, is this okay with you?" She asked,
"What?" I asked her.
"That we are crossing the line..." She said quietly.
"Bones, we crossed that line before I'd ever said anything about it. I've wanted this for a long time, longer than you, I know that." I told her honestly.
"I don't think it was about me not wanting it Booth, I just didn't know how to have this with you." She whispered.
"I think I loved you before I even knew it Bones. Something just felt so right about being around you." I said, loving the feel of her next to me.
She stayed quiet after that for a good while, her head on my right arm, her right hand in my left. I could have stayed like that forever, and I wondered if her sense of rationalization would kick into effect to change things as I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb.
"Booth?" She asked softly.
"Yeah Bones?" I said.
"It was hard. All that time... without you." She stammered.
"I know all about that Bones. It was hard for me too. Not the same, but hard. I watched everyone around me falling apart while I felt like I was dying inside, and there was nothing I could do to fix it. Nothing. I would think about the day I got hurt, how if I'd just turned a second sooner, you'd have been with me, not tangled in this mess. I couldn't stop obsessing over it, that one second that changed everything, that took you from me, that left me broken and helpless." I said my jaw tight.
"Booth, every second leads to a series of events that make up the cause and effect. It wasn't your fault, I wish you could see that. Did you ever think that if you didn't go down, maybe I would have?" She said shifting to look up at me.
"Bones, I've thought about every different scenario, every thing that could have happened. It doesn't make it any less painful though." I said honestly.
"You always do this Booth. You always shoulder all the guilt, even when nothing you could have done differently would have changed the outcome." she said
I didn't argue with her, I knew she was right. I just stared at her beautiful face wondering how I got so lucky to have her in my life. All I wanted was to kiss her, but the pain in my body wouldn't allow it, frustration was setting in at knowing that for the next week or so there would be a lot that I couldn't do. She must have seen the tension on my face because she looked at me quizzically, her icy blue eyes bearing down on me.
"It's only for a little while." She said, breaking her gaze from me and nestling back into my body.
"How did you know what I was thinking about?" I asked.
"It's the same look I saw on your face for months, I'm more perceptive than you give me credit for Booth." She answered.
Nurses had been in and out of our room all day, checking this or that and at around seven a male nurse arrived.
"Temperance, can I have a few minutes with agent Booth." He said, implying that she leave the room.
"You can do what you need to in front of her. It's fine." I said, seeing the panic in her eyes.
"I need to change your catheter Seeley. You have a mild kidney infection, the doctor feels that your immune system is low due to the stress of the last few days and he wants to take the necessary precautions." He stated matter of fact.
"Booth I can step out if you would like me to." She said, knowing that this was a touchy subject in the past.
"No. If we are going to do this, you should stay." I said looking into her eyes, my face emotionless.
"Are you sure?" She questioned.
I nodded, knowing that for a while things were going to be like this, maybe even forever, and if she wanted to be with me, I had to let her in somehow. She moved carefully from the bed, I immediately felt the warmth leaving my side as she moved to stand behind the nurse. He gave me a look that said I tried, but I knew that this was part of who I was now, and I couldn't keep hiding it from her. He moved the sheet away and readied the small table with all the necessary evils to get the job done and then he carefully pulled down my track pants, pulling my catheter thru the other end so he could disconnect it and replace it. No matter how little I feel in that area, I still cringe at the sight, anyone would. I wanted to watch her face, but something inside me wouldn't let me, I just watched him as he quickly changed out the tube. She stayed incredibly quiet during it, and when he was finished and I finally was able to look at her she didn't look disgusted, or upset at all.
"I also have some antibiotics that you need to take Seeley." The nurse said placing the pills onto the night table next to the glass of water.
I reached out pain taking hold of my body as I raised the bed some until I couldn't take it any more. I downed the pills quickly, knowing that lying still was the only way to extinguish the pain.
"I'll be back later to check on you. Ms. Brennan do you need anything?" He asked her.
"I'm fine. Could we up the pain medicine some? He seems to be in a lot of pain." She asked, moving closer to me.
"I'm sorry he requested that he be on a low dosage. Seeley would you like me to speak with the doctor?" He asked me.
"No. Bones I don't want to be all drugged up. I'm fine." I said, gritting my teeth as I lowered the bed back down.
She was watching me, her eyes skeptical at my choice to deal with the pain. "Booth I don't think a little pain medicine is unreasonable at this level of pain." She tried.
"Bones, I spent months not able to feel anything, and now a little pain, it's nothing compared to that. Come back over here." I said, patting the bed softly.
She slowly climbed back in with me, trying so hard not to move the bed or me while she slid beneath the covers, her head again resting on my right arm. I closed my eyes when her hand touched the sensitive area around my ribs, trying not to scream out. I don't remember falling asleep after that, but I must have because I woke up, the bed shaking some, and she was gone. The slight movement causing every bruise on my body to throb, I reached down to my legs, and sure enough there was a spasm, my left leg was bouncing around. I propped myself up through the pain, wondering where she was as I slowly moved my hand down my leg, trying to stop the spasm. Pushing down on my knee, I stopped suddenly seeing her coming out of the bathroom, terror in her eyes.
"Bones. You okay?" I asked quietly, in more of a hiss from the pain.
"Your leg is moving..." She said, shocked.
"It's a spasm Bones. It happens sometimes, could you help me out?" I asked.
"What do I do?" She asked moving closer.
"Push my leg up towards my chest bending my knee, I just can't do it Bones, it hurts to much. Then pull it back out, you have to stretch the muscle." I said, waiting for the pain to increase.
Leaning back on both hands, I waited for the pain to stop, for the spasm to subside as I watched her moving my leg back and forth until finally I felt the shaking stop. "Thanks Bones." I said nearly out of breath.
"That's new to me." She said with a small smile as she helped me lower myself back down.
"You should have seen me the first time it happened. Scared the crap out of me Bones. I didn't know what was going on." I said as she moved in beside me, leaning in to kiss me before she nestled into my side.
"It would have been amusing to see your face as it happened. I can only imagine. What was it like when it started to come back Booth?" She asked, trying to take my mind off the pain.
"I could feel things, I could move my arms, my left hand, yet, there was no control, I had to relearn things. It was hard Bones. I knew that I could do it before, and then no matter how much you try to concentrate, sometimes your body cooperates, and others it doesn't." I explained.
"Where did it stop?" She asked looking up into my eyes.
"About here..." I said pointing to a spot an inch or so above my belly button.
"What about your right hand? Can you still feel your legs some?" She asked, when I realized that we hadn't talked about this yet.
"I feel pressure, some hot and cold in my legs, mostly the left. My right hand, I can pick things up, use it to push my chair, I can hold things in it, I have some grip, but the sensation goes in and out. Anne said it will come back, but I'm starting to think it might not. The sensations that I was getting before you left, in my legs, it's been fading for a while now..." I said defeatedly.
"Why? Did they do tests?" She asked excitedly.
"Yeah Bones, they poked and prodded me like they did at first, this time though I could feel some of it, and there is no explanation. Everything looks normal, good even. It's up to my nerves to decide when they want to work I guess and maybe they weren't ready yet." I said, thinking about crawling a few days back, and how Anne had said it would lead to walking. That would be a surprise to her, something I could save for her to share with me.
"Can we go home tomorrow Booth?" She asked softly.
"If we can get a flight out, sure. If not we'll go the next day. I'm sure everyone is dying to see you." I said, my eyes barely open.
When I woke the next day I tried to sit up, forgetting for a split second about the pain that would imminently attack me at the effort. I sucked in a sharp breath, clenched my jaw and sat up anyways, when I saw she was sitting at the window staring out. "Morning Bones."
"Booth, you shouldn't be doing that on your own, it will never heal." She said rushing over to help me, as I for some reason I don't know push her hand away.
"I'm fine Bones. Really. Could you get me a shirt from my bag?" I ask, regret filling my mind at refusing to let her help.
"Sure. Which one, short or long sleeved?" She asks holding them up.
"The long sleeve one." I say, noticing she's out of my clothes, and in her own, but the tags are still around her neck.
"It's warm out Booth are you sure you won't get to warm?" She asks, bringing the shirt to me.
"I really don't wear t-shirts unless I'm at the gym with Anne, or sleeping." I said knowing that I was unhappy with the way my arms looked now.
"Oh. The doctor was in before you woke up, said he's releasing you today." She said, watching me struggle with raising my arms to put the shirt on.
"Maybe he shouldn't." She added quietly.
"Bones. Please. I see you were released already, I'm not staying here alone." I said, trying to act tough, but really I just didn't want to let her out of my sight.
"Agent Cole is outside waiting on us, Max is in the car." She said, something different in her voice.
"C'm here Bones." I said giving her one of my best puppy dog faces.
I watched her walk to me, her long legs striding towards me, her face full of terror.
"What's the matter Bones? What happened between last night and this morning that changed this?" I asked honestly, wrapping my arm around her.
"I'm just afraid this is all a dream, that I'll step off the plane and be in that tunnel... that you won't be here." She said, getting upset.
"Bones, it isn't a dream if it hurts this much I promise you." I said laughing trying to cheer her up.
"How can you be so sure Booth. I had dreams that you were right there with me, that I could touch you, and it seemed real. What's to say this isn't one of those..." She said standing up to face me.
"I know this isn't a dream Bones, because in my dreams we are happy, I'm walking down a path with you and Parker, both of you hand in hand with me. I'm not like this in my dreams, was I in yours?" I asked, honestly wanting to know.
"No." She answered, thinking about the signifigence of her answer.
"I promise you, I won't let anything else happen to you, not now, not ever. I love you too much." I tried, lifting my right leg over the side of the bed and watching it dangle there for a moment before I brought the left to join it.
"Agent Booth, how are you this morning." The doctor asked, entering the room.
"Eh, little sore." I said as he approached me.
"Either you are a great liar or you have an incredibly high tolerance for pain." He said, reaching to poke my side.
"Good liar Doc. I can go though right. I want to get her home." I said honestly.
"I'll clear you to go today, but I've already called your physician in DC, and explained the situation to him, as well as your physical therapist. I've also sent your partner to fill the antibiotic prescription and the pain pills for you. Just sign here." He said handing me the clipboard, watching as I signed with my left hand.
"Not always a lefty were you?" He asked.
"No. Not until my accident." I said, looking to Bones.
"Let's hit the road Bones." I said to her.
"I can't lift you down to your chair Booth. We should wait for Cole." She said, moving to stand in front of me again, her eyes sad.
"Hey, its okay. It's only for a little while, like you said remember?" I asked, reaching out and turning her face back to mine with my thumb.
I was a little surprised at her reaction, she threw her arms around my neck, and just stood there, her face pressed cheek to cheek with mine as I brought my arms slowly around her. "Easy Bones." I reminded her.
I told myself to remember to have a conversation with Cullen when we got back to give the kid a raise, he'd done so much more than just the normal, he was constantly lifting me, helping me, doing things for me and I think he deserved more for that. He was going to make a great agent, he just needed some more experience. As I waited to get back into my chair as the flight attendant pushed me through the gate I couldn't wait for this to all be over. We were finally back in DC, both of us, together I thought as I transferred with Cole's help. "Thanks Kid." I said, adjusting myself and doing the strap as Bones stood beside me, her hand resting again on my shoulder. I hadn't been this independent around her for so long, and now it was strange to be beside her on wheels. It felt like our dynamic was off somehow as I wheeled as far as I could myself before she took over. When we got back through security and headed for the exit I saw them. Ange, Hodgins and Parker who was now running towards us at full speed, not caring who he almost tackled in the race to get to us.
"BONES!! DR. BONES!!" he yelled getting closer, as she sped up the pace.
"Parky. ANGELA!!" she started out talking and went straight to yelling, kneeling down as Parker threw her arms around her.
I watched the tears flowing down her face, as she embraced my son, and it made me want to join in the tears. Angela stopped just short of them, and turned to me, hugging me gently before she moved to her best friend. Before long Max had his hand on my shoulder, as Cole watched from a little farther ahead with Hodgins.
"Bones, I knew you were okay. I knew even though Daddy couldn't help you, that you were smart enough to come home." Parker said the smile never leaving his face.
"I'll never not come home again Parky. Oh, I missed you." She said picking him up and spinning him around.
When she finally put him down his hand took hers with no intention of letting go even as she hugged Angela. He looked to me, his smile wide and then looked up at her, and decided that instead of leaving me sit there watching that he would drag Bones and Angela nearer to me. As he got close I held out my hand and said "Easy little man, go slow. I'm hurt, but I'll be okay."
"I know. Ange told me." He said his hand still holding hers as he climbed into my lap hugging me with his free arm.
"You staying with us tonight little man?" I asked him.
"I'm staying with Jack and Ange. Mom said you probably would make sure Bones apartment was safe and you wouldn't want to let her out of your sights." He said, making me laugh at Rebecca's explanation of what would be happening.
"Not let her out of my sight, Park, not sights." I corrected him with a chuckle as she turned to me.
"Booth did you know that they would be here?" She said, breaking her hug from Angela.
"No. I think someone else did though." I said looking up at Max.
"What I can't take care of my kid Booth, you aren't the only one who knows what she needs you know." He teased, tousling Parker's hair.
"I know what she needs too!" Parker chimed in.
"What little Booth." Max asked him.
"French fries at the diner... her own, and not mine and Daddy's." He joked.
"It's not as fun if they're mine Parker... I thought I explained that to you." She asked him, picking him up from my lap and landing him on her hip.
"Yeah I know, it's just that when you were gone Dad and I tried to think about that, to cheer us up..." He said grinning at her.
"Bones he's too heavy, don't throw your back out." I advised her, knowing that he was no thirty pounds anymore.
"I can manage Booth." She said to me as Max pushed me out towards the car.
I gave in and let Cole hoist me into the Jack's SUV as everyone piled in around me, and then he went to walk away.
"Hey where you goin kid?" I called out to him.
"This is your thing Booth... I'll get a cab." He said still walking away.
"Cole, C'mon, you've earned this." I yelled to him, as he stopped, trying to decide.
"For a little while then I'll get a cab back to my place." He said as I slid over to make room for him.
I wasn't surprised to find Cam at the diner waiting for us, a table big enough to hold us all filled with cups of coffee and glasses of soda.
"Dr. Brennan, it's good to have you back." She said leaning in to hug Bones, which surprised me some.
"Booth how are those ribs holding up?" Cam asked, touching my shoulder gently.
"I've had worse Camille." I said, not sure that I'd ever forget this night, having her back was more than I ever imagined it would be.
We all sat, my son and I taking up residence at her sides, Angela across from her and the others around us. I don't know what I expected, maybe that things would be different when we got back, that she would hide her feelings, but she didn't. Throughout the evening, even in front of Parker she let her emotions show, her hand finding mine at any chance she had, my arm making its way around her shoulders without protest, and finally a kiss as she excused herself to the restroom. I heard an aww from Angela across the table, mirrored by and eww from Parker.
"Hey Parker, one of these days I'll get to eww you too little man. You won't always hate girls." I said teasing him.
"Dad I don't hate all girls, I love Bones, and Angela, and Mom." He shot back at me.
"I know buddy. I know. But it's different when you get older, trust me." I smirked.
"You mean you can't love more than one girl?" He asked.
"Sometimes, but, there will always just be this one person who drives you mad little man, all you think about is her, all you dream about it her, the only person you could ever see yourself with is her..." I said, watching his face scrunch up with confusion.
"How bout some ice cream Parker?" Max said, and with that my son forgot all about what I'd just tried to explain.
"Did you mean that?" Bones said sliding into her seat beside me.
"What?" I asked, my cheeks reddening, knowing she heard me.
"That there will always be that one person?" She paraphrased.
"Yeah Bones, I guess I did." I said honestly.
"Even though you have loved before?" She quizzed me.
"It's never been the same. It could never be the same. I'll always know that I loved Rebecca, but it was never like this, never completely, never. It couldn't even compare Bones." I said, meaning every word.
"Sweetie..." I heard Angela say, not willing to take my eyes off of my Bones in that moment.