A/N: You guys amaze me! All the love the last chapter recieved.. it was astonishing! THANK YOU! However.. I have to give huge props to the 2 to 3 readers who asked about the second V-Day gift that Edward gave Bella.. it was never talked about in the last chapter.. hehe... you'll find out soon enough!

To KimboACP who asked who won the bet with Rose, Em and Edward.. that may come as an outtake..or it may weave its self into the story.. hehe

Much love goes to CullensTwiMistress...you keep me on track girl...fluv you hard!

I don't own anything Twilight related.. but in about 38 hours.. I'll sitting in a dark theater watching BD.. will you? This will be a more somber chapter.. but like CTM stated.. it had to be done.. ENJOY!

Chapter 35

BPOV

Looking out the tiny window I sat next to, I wondered, for the millionth time, if I was doing the right thing. What started out as a simple trip to spend time with my mom, snowballed into something larger, bigger. Adding to everything was the tension and rollercoaster of emotions I felt from Edward, and I was drained.

Shortly after my announcement to go to Jacksonville, life was a flurry of chaotic activity. Alice was having visions left and right. The strangest part of it was Alice telling me that going to see my mom would help in the long run. I wasn't exactly sure how, but she muttered things about her being more open and able to calm Charlie down. Now that surprised me.

The days leading up to my departure for sunny Florida were filled with more planning and strategy meetings than I care to admit. But I understood the need for such meticulous planning. All of our bases and lose ends needed to be tied up. Plus, there were certain things I wanted to happen as well. I was lucky that the Cullen's were being so gracious about my requests. I was well and truly blessed.

There were just two things that worried me about my trip to Jacksonville. The first one was the role that I had to play and the groundwork that needed to happen. If I fucked something up, it would just create more work and chaos than we needed. But more than that, it was that I needed to make sure Renee was on board with certain things. Luckily for me, there were relatively few lies I had to give. Instead I would be telling half truths and stretching the laws of believability.

The second thing was Edward. The week leading up to my leaving was very hard on him. I knew he tried to hide how he was feeling, but since our bonding, it was almost impossible for that to happen. The anxiety and fear rolled off of him. I could feel it in his arms when he held me close and there was desperation in his kisses. I knew that neither of us would deal with this separation well, at all.

Even last night as we made love, I could feel his panic. I knew that part of it was that he worried over my safety. He was going to be thousands of miles away from me. If something were to happen, he fretted over the idea that he wouldn't be able to get to me in time. We consulted with Alice a few times to see if he could come with me, but her visions showed that one, it would sunny the entire time I was down there, and secondly, that his presence wouldn't help our cause much.

I hated knowing he was feeling so bad. I wanted him happy. So much so, that there were a few times when I almost said 'fuck it' and was going to ask to be changed immediately. But I knew that I needed to see this through. This was the compromise I made to myself when I chose Edward and immortality. I wanted to give my parents the best resolution I could. So I soldiered on the best that I could.

Renee was beyond ecstatic about my coming to Florida. I talked to her more the days leading up to Spring Break than I had since I came to Forks. She was also bummed that Edward could not join me. She was anxious to meet him. I did bring several pictures of us together for her to see him and for my peace of mind. A small part of me felt guilty that Renee would never really get to spend time with Edward. Except for a brief time at graduation, these pictures would be the closest she would get to him.

From the time Renee spotted me in the airport till we got home, she kept up a constant stream of chatter. She asked about Charlie, school, Edward, the Cullen's, and told me all about what she and Phil have been up to. I was lucky that she required very little participation from me, just a few well placed words or noises and Renee continued to talk.

It wasn't until we had pulled up in front of a small yellow rambler that the exhaustion I had been feeling finally consumed me. I dragged my ass out of the car, thankfully Phil grabbed my suitcase and shuffled behind Renee as she gave me a tour. Blessedly, the house wasn't huge and when she showed me to my room, I pleaded exhaustion.

"Mom, I'm really tired. Do you mind if I take a nap? We had to get up early to make it into Seattle on time."

I tried to talk Charlie into letting Edward take me, but he wasn't hearing any of that. I then tried to talk him into at least going to Seattle the day before so I didn't have to get up at the butt crack of dawn. Again, it was a no-go.

"Sure honey. I'll let you sleep for a few hours. Phil is going back to work and I have some school stuff to do. We will take you out to dinner tonight, how does that sound?"

Dinner, in a restaurant? That was my idea of heaven, because Renee can't cook and I had no inclination to cook at least tonight. I was sure I would be roped into cooking at least a few times while I was here. I was thankful that I was only going to be here for a few days.

"That sounds ok to me, Mom." She kissed my cheek softly and then walked out of the room, closing the door.

I plopped down on the bed in pure exhaustion. I rolled to the side of the bed and rummaged into my carry on bag looking for the one thing I was sure would help me sleep in peace. Of course it had to be at the bottom of my bag. But eventually I was able to pull out my portable CD player, headphones and the jewel case. I took the CD from the case and put into the player and started it up.

Almost immediately, the soothing and now familiar strains of the song Edward composed for me began to play. Also most as automatically, my body began to relax. Every night since Valentine's Day I have listened to this CD. It was the second gift that I didn't open until later on that night. It held his original song and then several other songs that Edward told me reminded him of us. Every song we danced to at Homecoming was on there with Edward playing the piano flawlessly. But even more than that, was his voice. He sang every song on there as well.

I finally fell asleep to Edward singing In Your Eyes.

Over the next two days, I did part of what I came to do, which was spend time with my mom, to fully immerse myself back into her. So whatever Renee wanted to do, we did it. We hung out at the beach, went to a beachfront art festival where she talked me into a henna tattoo. We baked cookies and went shopping; we even spent a few hours watching Phil play in a minor league scrimmage.

But even more than that, I just watched her, watched and memorized her. I tried to commit to memory, the exact shade of her hair, especially in the sun, the sound of her laugh, the twinkle in her eyes as she watched Phil as he played and the feel of her arms as she hugged me. I allowed myself to be more affectionate and clingy to her.

I even copied Edward's idea and at the end each day, I documented every little part of what we did. I tried to include the sights, sounds and feelings I had. Although I hated to be photographed, I took pictures of Renee that I could take with me into eternity. I took some of the both of us and made sure to make copies for Renee.

I wanted to imprint as much of this as I could onto my limited human brain in the hopes that once I was changed, that something would stick, that some memory of my mom would last. I knew from the Cullen's that it was hard to hang onto the memories, but I wanted to do all that I could to help me remember.

This was also why I knew Edward couldn't come with me. I needed to do this on my own. I needed to let the grief and the sadness come and feel it. I knew that once I was changed, I wouldn't be able to properly mourn the loss of my parents. I wouldn't be able to deal with my grief. So that was what I was doing now. I was saying goodbye. I was trying to give my mom some last few precious happy moments to remember me by as well.

I wanted her to see me, happy, whole and in love. I needed to leave her with the knowledge that I was loved, not only by her, but Edward and his family. So I talked about them, the things they did for me, things they did with me. I talked about some of the more colorful things Emmett has done and all about Alice and hanging out with her. I talked about Carlisle's never ending patience in dealing with my clumsiness and how Esme welcomed me into her family with open arms.

When we talked about Edward, I tried to paint a picture of his love. The lengths and the depths he would and had gone for me. I played her the CD so she could hear him sing to me. I couldn't help but tell her how cherished he made me feel. I watched as she absorbed every word I spoke about him.

"I can't wait to meet him, Bella." A small pang of guilt and pain rippled through me. I knew that the first time she met him would be the last.

"Yea. You'll meet him at graduation. He can't wait to meet you." This was the truth. Why he wanted to, I wasn't sure. Maybe because he wanted to find some way to reassure her that he loved me and would take care of me, I wasn't exactly sure. Either way, he would be able to charm her instantly and she would love him.

It wasn't until the afternoon of my third day and the day before I was to go back, that I finally got around to the other reason I was down here. I had been struggling with a way to bring the subject up, but luckily for me, Renee did it for me.

We were out back on the porch, sipping on some homemade lemonade and munching on some sandwiches, enjoying the breeze when she sprung her question on me.

"So, have you decided what you're going to after graduation? Have you picked a school?"

I took a deep breath, I had a role to play and things I needed to do. It was time that I followed through on my decision.

"Honestly Mom, no. I have no clue what I want to do with my life." That wasn't a lie, I still had no clue what to do, but I knew who I wanted to spend it with.

"Haven't you been accepted anywhere?" I could hear the minor panic in her voice, I needed to squash that.

"Yea, a few; Seattle, Southern Cal, NYU. But," I let go the breath I had been holding, "I'm not sure I want to go to school, or at least a big college, right now." I couldn't help but close my eyes and wait for her reaction.

"Hmmm…" was all she said for a few small moments. "Well, then do you have any plans for after school?"

"Well, I was thinking of going to California and live with Alice." I took a deep breath and forged ahead before she could interrupt. "She is going to design school out there and we have talked about me moving in with her. I was thinking I could get a job and maybe go to community college, see if anything catches my interest."

I turned to look at her, to watch the emotions as they flitted across her face. I could tell she wasn't happy, and there was confusion there as well.

"What about Edward, where is going to school?"

"Umm, he was thinking of school in California as well. He's been accepted to Berkley, Stanford, UCLA, Southern Cal." I trailed of, not knowing what to say.

"Have you talked to your dad about this?" she finally asked.

I shook my head, "No, not really."

She then asked the one question I was sure she wasn't going to ask, even if Alice thought it was a strong possibility. I should learn to never bet against Alice, at least, regarding most things.

"Are you and Edward planning on getting married?"

I had to stop myself form fingering the necklace around my neck that held my engagement ring. "We've talked about it." That wasn't a lie either, right. I mean, it's not like she asked if we were already engaged. Plus, we have talked about us getting married. I mean it is part of the plan.

"Are you worried that I won't approve honey?" She looked at me with genuine concern on her face.

"Maybe, a little? Oh, I don't know. I know Charlie won't understand, about any of it." I closed my eyes against the sudden tears that had sprung up. "I just don't want you guys to think I am a failure or I am making bad choices."

There, I finally got out what had been bugging me for a while. I feared that I would disappoint and hurt my parents. There was still that small part of me that felt I was being selfish for picking Edward over my family. But when it came right down to it, it was really the only choice I could make.

I knew that there was no way I could live without Edward. I knew this before we bonded, but now that we had, it was something I couldn't fathom. He was more than just my love, my mate; he was the very beat in my heart, my very soul. Living without him would be like living with half of my body missing.

"Bella," she paused, waiting for me to look at her, "you are your own person. You have your own life, your own choices and the only one who has to live with those choices is you. I'm not saying that your choices may not affect us and others in your life. But it's more like, if you make choices based on if others will approve, then it's not your life your living, but theirs."

She let that sink in for a while, a comfortable silence between us as we continued to slowly rock back and forth. Part of me understood what she was saying, the other part worried it was too good to be true.

"What if choices I make hurt others? Wouldn't that make that choice, wrong?"

I knew I shouldn't have asked, I was terrified of her answer, but there was a still little girl inside me that wanted approval from a parent. I needed someone to shoulder this burden even for just a short while.

She must have seen something on my face, some inner turmoil that was plain as day, for she threw her arms around me and held me tight. A few stray tears leaked out of my tightly closed eyes.

"Oh, baby. Sometimes the hardest choices we have to make are ones that hurt others. That doesn't make them wrong for us. Sometimes to find happiness, others will be hurt. But, hopefully, those that we hurt will understand and their pain will be momentary. In the grand scheme of things, you hope the happiness will greatly outweigh the pain."

With that said she got up and left me to think. I wasn't sure how long I had been out there after she left. Her words echoing and bouncing around in my head. What surprised me was that what she said was almost the exact same thing Carlisle had said to me when I spoke to him. It was those words that he spoke to me that helped me choose Edward.

But hearing my mom say them, they took on a new meaning. I knew part of what she was saying had to do with her and Charlie. She had to make a choice between her happiness and hurting Charlie. But in the end, she hoped that Charlie would come to understand her choice and that his pain would eventually dissipate. By making the choice, my mother was hoping that both people would eventually be happy, because staying would have made them both miserable in the end.

For the first time I had hope, hope that I was making the right choice and hope that there will come a time when my parents will remember me with love and happiness. It also made me realize that by asking Edward to fake his death as well, that maybe my parents will hope that I am spending eternity with the one I loved. It was all I could hope for and then some.

I finished the rest of my visit with a far less burdened mind, heart and conscious. I laughed and enjoyed just being with my mom. Later that night as she was helping me fold and pack up my clothes, she tried to assure me that everything would be alright.

"Bella, I'll talk to Charlie. But only after you have told him of your plans, all of them." She gave me a knowing look, one that told me she also meant Edward. I nodded because that was part of the plan as well.

"I will, Mom, I promise."

I fell asleep easier that night and it seemed appropriate when the last thing I remembered was Edward singing Amazed. I truly was amazed by all that he did, but more importantly, that he was mine.

The plane ride back to Washington was far less anxiety ridden than the ride to Florida. With each mile we flew, with each second that passed, I could feel the excitement begin to rise. Each minute brought me closer to Edward and the destiny that was waiting.

When the plane finally landed, I was bouncing in my seat, all I wanted was to get in Charlie's cruiser and see Edward. I was sure that Alice had already told him when I would be home and he wouldn't hesitate to be at my door minutes after I arrived.

In a rush I sprinted off the plane, thankful I managed to stay upright and dashed for baggage claim. The second I spotted my suitcase, I grabbed it and ran off to the doors where I know Charlie would be waiting.

I didn't start looking for Charlie until I was closer to the doors. My eyes scanned furiously for his mustache and police jacket he was sure to have on. So intent I was on trying to find Charlie that I never noticed that there was someone else waiting for me. When my brain finally caught up to my eyes, I dropped everything I held and simply stared.

EPOV

I won't lie and say that the last few days without Bella have been perfect, filled with sunshine and roses, because it wasn't. It was painful, it was anxiety ridden, it was lonely and it downright fucking sucked ass. I moped all over the place. I constantly harassed Alice asking about visions of Bella, wanting her to show me anything she could.

I was so bad that after while Jasper couldn't even be in the same place as me. So they kicked my ass out of the house and I went to the cottage. Of course it was no better there either. There I was surrounded by memories of Bella and me. I could still smell her everywhere, teasing and taunting me.

I had shit I needed to do while she was gone, but I didn't want to do anything but curl up and wait for her return. It took Esme coming down to the cottage to finally get my ass moving.

"You know Edward, you shame me," she told me as I sat staring off into space.

I hated knowing I disappointed her, but I couldn't find it in me to care outwardly.

"While you sit here, feeling sorry for yourself, missing her like nothing else, have you given no thought to what Bella is doing?"

I turned to look at her, appalled that she would think I wasn't thinking of Bella, she was in my every thought, my every action. "Of course I wonder what she is doing, if she is enjoying herself, spending time with Renee, being in the sun."

"No, Edward. She is there saying goodbye to her mother. She is there setting up an elaborate lie so that she can be with you! Plus, she has to do it while missing you. But she can't have the luxury of showing exactly how much she misses you."

I stared at Esme in astonishment, knowing that she was right.

"So while you sit here moping about how much you miss her, Bella is trying to tell her mother goodbye without ever having to say the words. Now, you tell me, who has it worst, you or her?"

With that she left the cottage and left me feeling selfish and utterly ashamed of myself. In a few short months I would have Bella all to myself. But until then, Bella has to leave behind everyone she ever cared about- for me. It was then that I realized the price Bella was paying for an eternity with me.

Shaking myself from my stupor, I set out to do the things that I needed to get done. The first was a call to my lawyer. I needed to shift around some money and make some other inquiries. I told Bella that I would take care of Charlie once we faked her death and this was the only way I knew how. Once I was told the papers would be sent to me for my signature, I set about my next task.

I spent the next few hours researching online the best place for us to go in Vegas for our wedding. I wanted something classy and elegant. After looking at several different hotels, I settled on the Mandarin Oriental. I lucked out that there famous Apex Suite was still available for the days we needed. I booked us for three days. I even asked them to make arrangements and reservations for us to get married. The concierge assured me that every last detail would be taken care of.

The last few details I needed to take care of were in regards to the day we will fake our deaths. I needed to get a replica of Bella's engagement ring. It took me a few calls, but I managed to find someone that was willing to get it done within the next few weeks.

Bella and I had decided that once Charlie knows of our engagement, it would be the fake ring she wears. When I asked why, her reasoning was that the more Charlie saw it, the more he would be able to say it was mine. Plus, once she could wear the real ring, she never wanted to take it off. It seemed important to her, so I just agreed.

The night before Bella was to arrive back home, Esme received a call from Charlie asking if she would be able to pick Bella up. He had been called into to assist on a several car pileup a few hours away. Seemed there were multiple casualties and the small town was asking for all the help they could get. Charlie was worried he wouldn't be done by the time he needed to pick up Bella early tomorrow morning. Esme assured him that someone will pick up Bella and he didn't need to worry.

Esme made a show of telling Carlisle what was going on and they pretended to talk about Carlisle going out there to help. Esme told Charlie that Carlisle would like to go with him. Charlie accepted the help and a half an hour later and Carlisle left to follow Charlie out to the accident and I ended up pacing the house until it was time for me to leave and get Bella.

Two hours before her plane was due to land, I took off for Seattle under the cover of the early morning moon. My entire body got more excited the closer I got. I could feel the tension and worry roll off me as the miles passed under my tires. I couldn't wait to see Bella and I wasn't sure I could deal with another separation like that one.

I nervously paced the arrival area down by the baggage claim. I watched as the flight board kept track of her flight and when I saw arrived I nearly ran to meet her at the gate. Instead I kept to where I was and paced like a lion in a cage.

I smelled her before I spotted her, the wave of people carrying her scent towards me. When the crush of people parted, I watched as she scanned the crowd, I assumed looking for Charlie. I swear I saw her eyes scan right past me a few times and I was surprised she never stopped to look.

I was just about to call out to her when her eyes landed on me again, this time she stopped and looked at me. I could see the confusion in her eyes and watched as it gave way to shock and then surprise. She dropped everything she was holding onto and ran towards me. I held open my arms and she jumped into them, her legs wrapping around my waist.

I felt her body shake from crying and I felt her warm tears as they bathed my neck. In silence I simply held her, rocking us from side to side as she wept. I knew it was a mixture of happiness, relief and sadness. She had a trying few days and this was the first time she could let it out. It made me feel like more of an ass for moping the way that I did.

Not knowing what the right words were to say, I said the only thing I could. "I love you, Bella. Love you, so much baby."

After a few moments, Bella calmed down and I was able to set her back on her feet. In silence we made our way back to the bags she dropped and gathered them all up. I held her hand as we walked to my car. When I had everything stowed away, I gathered in my arms.

"Are you okay, love?" I stroked her hair and her back as she snuggled up close.

"I am now. I am sorry I lost it back there. It's just…everything had built up and I was so happy to see you…I…I couldn't keep it all in." I could feel the tiny tremors shake her body as she tried to keep herself from crying all over again.

"No need to apologize, love. It's all understandable, I am sure you have had an emotional few days. Did you have fun?" She pulled away to give me a beaming smile.

"Yea, I had fun. I missed you and I love you, too." She placed a small kiss on the underside of my jaw. "Let's go home."

I opened the car door and ushered her in and began the drive back home. I worried that it would be filled with tension and sadness, but once again Bella amazed me with her strength. She told me all about what they did and how it felt to see her Mom after so long apart. She talked about the talks they had and how her Mom ended up making her feel better about her choice.

It pleased me to hear that she still held firm to her choice; there was no hesitation or anxiety from her. In fact, she appeared to be more relaxed and calmer as if she had finally made peace with what was going to happen. It eased my mind immensely and found myself once again counting down the days until she was all mine.

I pulled up to our house and before I could even figure out why I was asking her, I blurted out, "Bella, will you go to prom with me?"

A/N: So now we see why she went to Jacksonville... She needed to do this on her own... Now.. PROM! That will be interesting!

A few pimping of things to do: Check out CullensTwiMistress drabble story: Bubble Gum and Spiderman.. trust me.. you will LOVE this Edward!

If you remember.. in the summer I enterd TFA's Summer Fantasy Contest and my O/S- He Shoots, She Scores won..well..part of winning was that I was the Author of the Month for November on their blog.. check out my interview at: tfadvocacy dot blogspot dot com there is also a link on my profile!

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