Clara

The Wives of the Doctors

"What is it?" asked Ten, looking up from the console which he was examining.

"We were caught by those guards," said Amy, "And we brought them back here to get the poker chips they wanted."

"Ah. We don't know where the chips are," said Ten. Thankfully, it seemed the TARDIS was in quite a good mood, and the bag of poker chips appeared on the chair nearby, along with Rose's black wig which she'd discarded in the corridors two days ago. Rose quickly put it on so as not to alert suspicion and grabbed the bag.

"Just a sec!" she called to the men outside, "Here you go, all $200 million of it."

The group went to change into clean clothes (Clara and the Maitlands remaining in the console room, where it was safe - and because they already had clean clothes) before Nine, Ten, Rose, Jack, Christina, Mickey and Martha all left for Vegas, Martha still looking like a slice of cheese and Ten still looking over his shoulder, as if his back was bare and people could see his horrendous tattoo.

"Breakfast then!" said Eleven, "Actually, it's more like lunch now. Or brunch, how about brunch? I've never had brunch before. What do you eat at brunch?" he was rambling to Clara. They were both in the kitchen, the others in the console room, after Clara had volunteered to make tea for everyone again and, as always, Eleven had followed her like a lost puppy. But he was cooking her some food, so she didn't mind particularly.

"Ow!" she said suddenly, accidentally knocking the boiling hot metal kettle and burning herself.

"What is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Clara, are..." said Eleven, then he glimpsed the minuscule red patch of skin on Clara's thumb and gasped.

"It's just a burn," she said as he tried to grab her hand and pull it up to his eyes. "Really, Doctor, it's nothing. It just needs cold water."

"No! What if it got infected? Nope, we're going to the TARDIS medical bay. She can fix it for you," he said, trying to leave the kitchen and pulling Clara with him.

"Doctor, I'm fine! I've burnt myself before!" she argued, resisting him trying to pull her along with him. However, this news made him gasp again and she rolled her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me? Burns are very dangerous! You might die!"

"I'm not going to die though!" she exclaimed as she was finally pulled free from her grip on the table and he started taking her in the direction of the medical bay.

"But you might! I've seen you die too many times!" he was trying to be sincere but her annoyance got the better of her when she answered.

"And how many of those times did I die from a tiny little burn on my thumb?"

"Doesn't matter, come on," he said, not even listening properly.

"River! Little help here!" Clara shouted into the console room as she was pulled past like a toddler on reigns. River being a hologram, who was also on very good terms with the TARDIS, allowed her to flit through the corridors, and a moment later she was stood in front of Eleven with her arms crossed.

"I'm busy right now trying to save Clara's life," he said, trying to get round her but she wouldn't let him.

"No, you're busy dragging me through corridors when I'm fine," Clara argued.

"Sweetie, you can't die from a tiny burn. Did you rinse it?" River asked Clara, after directing her first sentence to the Doctor.

"No, somebody wouldn't let me," said Clara. He looked at the floor, embarrassed.

"Well?"

"I just want her to be safe!" he said it in a whiny voice, though Clara had to stop herself breaking into a huge smile and hugging him for being sweet - which was very difficult. Almost impossible, but she somehow managed it.

"I know you do, Sweetie," said River, "but we can look after ourselves. You don't have to protect everyone." He didn't know what to say so he just stood and huffed about for a minute.

"Alright..." he muttered eventually.

"Now go make the tea," River told him. He made some movements to protest but sighed eventually and left without another work. When he was gone his two wives burst out laughing.

"He's like a child, he only wants to help," said River.

"How do you train him?" Clara asked curiously. River laughed.

"It takes a lifetime."

"I've had a thousand," answered Clara.

"The trick is be as harsh as possible, and then make it up to him later. Or just treat him like a baby. Or a dog."

"About this wedding..." said Clara offhandedly. "With me and... what was his name again..?" she asked.

"I was lying, I do that a lot," said River.

"So... No big wedding..?" asked Clara. River shook her head. "Oh well. Better go help him... I don't trust him in a kitchen. With appliances."

"Me neither," agreed River.

"What? Oh, so you're..?"

"Coming? Yes, why? Is that a problem?" River teased, trying to look oblivious.

"No, it's fine. Why wouldn't it be?" asked Clara awkwardly.

"Ex-wife and new wife?"

"We're just married. It's not like that means anything," she said. Then she realised her sentence hadn't made any sense. "You know what I mean."

"I know you're lying," said River pleasantly. Why does she always have to sound so pleasant?, thought Clara.

"Lying about what? Being married? You have seen the rings, right?" she asked edgily.

"Lying about it meaning nothing," said River. Clara didn't say anything as they walked back into the kitchen to finish making brunch.

Rose

Christina, supervised by Nine, returned first to the TARDIS with a whole host of objects to fix and enhance the 200. Second back were Ten, Rose and Jack, Ten who had gone back for his already booked appointment, with a now blonde Rose, to finally get his tattoo removed. Thirdly and finally Martha and Mickey returned, Mickey quitting his job as a stripper and Martha somehow managing to get the holes in her head fixed up so she looked normal again. However, Rose had brought a little something back with her.

"It's a prototype of an inter-dimensional phone! The Doctor used his psychic paper and we got one!" said Rose excitedly, waving about a brick-like device that looked similar to the first mobiles.

"Go on then, call up my half-clone," said Donna, "we can have a family reunion!"

"How do you get through to the right dimension?" Rose asked Ten, looking at the vast range of buttons. He picked it up and threw his coat aside where it landed on a railing, taking the phone and running to the other side of the console. He pulled out his sonic and lifted the end up with his teeth.

"If I can just get the right frequency," he said to her, "Ha!" he said, getting the screwdriver higher than Rose knew was possible. "Here you go, perfect for calling home!" he grinned, sitting in the TARDIS's chair and putting his feet on the console.

"Really? This calls home?" she said.

"Yeah! You do know the number, right?" he asked.

"Course I do," she said, smiling at him. He grinned back as she dialed the number of her mother's mobile in the parallel world. "It's ringing," she mouthed happily, pointing at the phone.

"Hello?" answered her mother's voice.

"Mum?" said Rose.

"Oh, Rose!" Jackie said happily, overwhelmed with joy, "What happened?! We're on our way to Bad Wolf Bay again!"

"You don't have to go there, I'm safe. I'm... I'm on the TARDIS," said Rose, completely unable to contain her excitement.

"The TARDIS? How'd you get on the TARDIS? You're on the TARDIS and you haven't come home yet?" Jackie demanded.

"I haven't had time," answered Rose, rolling her eyes at Martha who nodded understandingly, "everything was mental, and then we had to go to Chicago in the 30s, and then Vegas in the 2100s. Then we had a run in with the Master, then we crash landed in London for three days and the TARDIS had to recharge. I just bought this phone that let's me call different dimensions."

"But you could've come back before!" protested Jackie.

"No, we haven't been able to find a rip in time big enough to get through. We can only call, I'm sorry," said Rose gently. "Where's the Doctor? Is he there? The metacrisis?"

"Yeah, I'll just put him on," said Jackie.

"Rose?" said a serious voice that was definitely Tentoo's.

"Are you alright? Have you been worried?" she asked.

"Worried? Of course I've been worried! Worried doesn't cover it! Be honest, is this the first time you could have contacted us? Five days later?"

"I think so," said Rose truthfully.

"Who're you with?" asked Tentoo, clearly picking up on the multiple conversations going on around Rose, most people not paying much attention to what she was doing.

"I'm with the Doctor. The Ninth Doctor... And the Tenth Doctor... And the Eleventh Doctor... And Mickey... And Jack... And Martha... And Donna, too... Then there's Amy and Rory Pond, River Song and-"

"Clara Oswin Oswald," said Eleven from the other side of the room.

"Yeah, what he said."

"Who's he again?" asked Tentoo.

"The Eleventh Doctor."

"So there's... twelve of you?" he said.

"Fifteen. Don't suppose you know a Lady Christina De Souza?" she interrogated him.

"Nope."

"Good. And then there's the kids Clara nannies-"

"But they're not my kids!" Eleven shouted, which caused a low-voiced argument between him and his wife.

"Who's arguing?" asked Tentoo.

"Eleventh Doctor and his new wife, Clara," said Rose. "They were drunk and we were in Vegas, don't ask."

"Drunk in Vegas? You too?"

"...Yep..." she said guiltily.

"And what did you do, Rose Tyler, drunk and in Las Vegas?"

"Nothing big. Just stole some money. About two-hundred... million... dollars... from a casino... Don't worry, we've given it all back now!"

"ALL of it?" he asked sternly.

"Yes, all of it!" she answered. "Suppose you'll want me to tell you everything?"

"Well, yeah. Everything would be nice," said Tentoo. Rose laughed, and began (with a little help from Donna) explaining what had happened for the past five days.