Just a warning, there's violence with sexual implications in this chapter.

When Honey leapt off the train onto the rooftop entrance of Dauntless, she wasn't surprised to find Eric waiting for her. She didn't fight him when he grabbed her and shoved her against the door to the stairs, either.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" he bellowed, two inches from her face. "No, you weren't thinking! I told you to stay away from Erudite! I told you not to get Jeanine interested in you! I gave you an order! Why didn't you listen to me?!"

"Did you really think I would?" Honey asked, softly, sadly. Her eyes welled with tears as she looked at the man she loved. The murderer she loved.

"Yes! I thought you trusted me! I thought you were smart enough to understand how dangerous she is!" Eric shouted, his voice taking on an edge of desperation.

"You didn't want to be the one to tell me that you kill people for her," the girl accused in that same small, sad voice. The man let her go like her skin scalded, spinning away to scrub his hands against his scalp, mussing his hair in the process and ruining all that tight order he imposed every morning. "You could have told me why she wanted me, but you didn't because you were afraid."

"You don't understand," Eric declared, shaking his head, not turning around. "This isn't about me. I'm trying to protect you."

"You're trying to protect yourself," Honey said, her sadness giving way little by little to anger. "You wanted to keep me in the dark where you could control me."

The young leader whirled on her, advancing menacingly. "Sometimes you need to be controlled! You never stop to think of the danger! You're going to get yourself killed or worse!"

"You don't get to decide how I live my life!" Now she was shouting, too. And the tears were falling and she hated every one of them.

"I'm trying to make sure you keep your life!"

"You're trying to make sure you keep my life!" the girl indicted him, furious and betrayed. "You said so yourself, you'll do anything to keep me right by your side. Lying to me, keeping secrets. Because what you want is what's most important!"

"I'd be doing the exact same thing even if you never loved me!" Eric roared, shoving her against the door again. "You think I'm manipulating you because I need you to be mine; I'm putting myself on the fucking line because I need you to be you! Because Jeanine will take everything that is good and Dauntless about you and twist it and use you up until it's all gone! And I can't let that happen and not just because I love you, because Dauntless needs you. Even if you never look at me again, I'll still be right behind you, making sure you're safe, because you're the future of this fucking faction!"

Honey stared at him, completely at a loss. She'd been dead sure that Eric had been keeping the entire Divergent matter from her because he was afraid she wouldn't love him since he was a killer. She wasn't sure he was wrong about that fear, but she was sure he was wrong to manipulate her just to get what he wanted. And now, this? The future of the faction? He believed it. One look at his face and anyone could see Eric believed it. Honey did not. She wanted to make Dauntless better, make it whole, but she wasn't a messiah. She was just a person with good intentions who wanted the best for her faction and for the city.

"If I thought for a second telling you the truth would do any good, I'd have told you the second we got out of the car after that fucking lunch with your family. But I knew it wouldn't. You care about everyone!" The man spat out the words like they were an insult. "Look at you. You're already trying to figure out how to stop me; how to change my mind so I'll stop hunting Divergents. You want to save the whole fucking world."

Honey couldn't deny it. She did want to stop him. She wanted to make him see how wrong what he and Jeanine were doing was. She wanted to save him, too.

"I'm not going to stop. Do you understand?" Eric shook the girl hard. "And you're not going to interfere. You're going to do your fucking job and keep your goddamn head down until this all blows over. And then you're going to be the strong fucking Dauntless woman I know you are and fix everything you think is broken here. Until then, you're going to keep your mouth shut and you're going to stay the fuck away from Jeanine Matthews! Do you understand?"

"Let me go!" Honey couldn't take it anymore. She had to get away from him and everything he was saying, everything she had learned today. It was too much. He was so very wrong about her in every way he could possibly be.

He just shook her again. "Do you understand?! I swear to God, Honey, if you don't answer me, I'll lock you in a goddamn cell!"

"I fucking understand, now let me go!" She shrieked, pushing hard at his chest. He did, but only one arm. Eric pulled her from the door and opened it, clearly intending to drag her down the stairs and to who knows where else. Honey couldn't stand to be near him for a second more, his touch made her skin burn and crawl. Using the skills he'd given her, she twisted out of his hold and kicked his feet out from under him, sending the surprised, furious man crashing to the gravel.

He bellowed her name as she took off across the roof. Any other day and Eric would have caught her easily, but not today, not with his ribs. He would be slow getting up after that fall he wasn't expecting. That would give her just enough time. Honey hopped up onto the ledge and stepped off without even a heartbeat in between. She didn't even feel the fall; her adrenaline was already at its peak. The girl hit the net and bounced, immediately rolling to the edge and dropping to the ground. The instant her feet touched stone, she was running again, knowing he'd be right behind her.

"Honey!"

Eric's desperate roar echoed through the tunnels as if he were hot on her heels, but it was already fading. Unfortunately, the pain he'd sent echoing through her chest and the confusion ricocheting through her mind stayed right with her, step for step.

As vast as Dauntless was, it was still finite and Eric was a leader, so there was no place Honey could go that he could not follow. But he'd have to know where to look. She couldn't go to her friends, that would be the first, most obvious choice. Her office was out, clearly. In the end, Honey went to the only place she knew no one had any reason to go - the transfer barracks. It was empty now that the two halves of the class had merged and wouldn't be used again until the next Choosing Day.

She curled up on one of the abandoned cots and cried herself into exhaustion. It was too much. It hurt too much. The girl couldn't make sense of the jumbled mass in her mind. Divergents and serums and Jeanine and Eric. And Eric. And Eric.

Honey was torn down the center. He was a murderer. Not just a monster, not just capable of killing. She'd suspected he might have killed Kent, but had let it go because the part of her that was like Eric wanted the man dead. It was the same part that crowed with triumph when she saw Al's body. But her monster had killed people just for being different, because they scared Jeanine Matthews in her small, Erudite world where everything had a box and fit perfectly into that box and anything that didn't threatened everything.

And that was just one secret. She knew there was another, the serum and the computers. Who knew how many more? Eric was part of the cancer that was killing Dauntless. Not just Dauntless, the whole of the city.

He believed in her more than she could have possibly imagined. He thought she could fix their faction. He thought she was the future of Dauntless. He was a fool. Look at her, hiding like a coward. Eric had certainly chosen the wrong person to put his faith in. She was strong and she was brave and she was Dauntless, but Honey was not the future. Not by a long shot. Couldn't the man see how very unspecial she was? It wasn't rare in Dauntless for someone to be bold. There were those whose ambition was a hunger that could never be sated. There were far more intelligent people than Honey - he was one of them for God's sake. Stronger, too. She just wanted to keep people safe and whole, no more than that. He was mistaken.

She loved him; she loved him so much there was no end to it, no beginning, it just was. Even knowing what she knew now, Honey still loved him just the same. And she'd run from him when he told her what he truly felt. The monster opened his heart and she ran. Eric gave her everything and she ran from it. She didn't deserve him.

Honey had thought she'd cried herself dry, but she was wrong. These tears were hot and harsh and stung her cheeks and shook her body until there was nothing left to do but give up to oblivion.

Honey awoke hours later, cold and dehydrated and so very alone. She needed to get up; she needed to move. Her first thought was of Eric, but her being rejected it, the wound too fresh. The coward girl couldn't face him.

Four. The serum. She needed to find Four and tell him what she knew about the serum. Now that she had a purpose, Honey set to it, striding determinedly from the barracks and back into the tunnels. A quick look at her watch told her it wasn't even dinner yet. That meant he would still be with the initiates. It was a normal training day and that meant the gym or the firing range or the indoor target area. With her tablet crushed, she couldn't check the schedule to know which it was, so she'd just have to try until she found him.

The indoor area was the closest but contained no joy. Empty. Honey moved on to the gym. Jackpot. She hurried over to the broody man, who was watching two of his initiates spar and offering corrections to their form. He saw her approaching and frowned deeply, more deeply than usual. She didn't realize how puffy and red her eyes still were, how the dried salt on her cheeks gave her away.

"What happened?" he demanded, not even stepping away from the mat. "Eric was in here twice looking for you. We're all supposed to report in if we see you."

Honey shook her head, waving the mention of the leader away. "Forget that. I need to talk to you."

"I'm kind of in the middle of something," Four told her as if she didn't have eyes of her own. "And not reporting you right now is a direct violation of a direct order."

"And I'm kind of not giving a direct shit," Honey replied shortly. He huffed and motioned for her to follow him. They ended up on the knife range that was abandoned at the moment. "I went to my brother at Erudite and had him look up the serum in their system."

"I thought you were being careful," Four said, accusingly.

"Please, he thinks we found a cache of stolen shit in the Factionless sector and promised to keep it a secret so I won't lose my job," the girl scoffed. Her bad mood and inner turmoil were making her snappish and irritable. "It's a long range simulation transmitter. Dauntless had Erudite working on an armed combat sim to help with field training, but it wasn't working, because of how the memories don't stick. The stuff we've got here is a variation of that. They added range and took away the paralytic, I guess so the subject can move around while they're under and gain muscle memory from the experience."

Four ran a hand through his hair and gripped the back of his neck firmly. "So, basically, they put you under and you move around like you're in the simulation?"

"Yeah. And I thought we were wrong and it's all just some new training thing, but it can't just be that, because why all the secrecy? It doesn't make sense."

The man looked at her, so grim she might have thought someone just died. "Think about it, Honey. If you put a person in a sim, but they're moving around in the real world, you could make them see whatever you wanted; make them do whatever you wanted."

"What, like mind control?" He nodded. Her stomach dropped away. "Four, there's cases of that stuff in there."

"I know. Enough to create an army," the man said.

"We already have an army. What the hell are they planning that they can't just order people to do?" Four didn't have an answer for that. Honey didn't want to find out what it was.

Honey left Four and headed straight for the Pit. She would have to talk to Eric sooner or later, probably sooner since he was looking all over the faction for her, telling people to report any sighting. The girl knew that alcohol was a depressant, that it dulled thoughts, and she certainly needed some dulling. It wouldn't take much, she was the definition of a lightweight, which is why she didn't normally drink. Today was not a normal day.

Honey ducked into the first bar she found, a cozy little place with pool tables in the back called The Corner Pocket. When the barman said they didn't serve dependents, the little Dauntless rolled her eyes and pulled off her beanie to reveal the trademark white curls.

"They just call me kid," she told him flatly. "That doesn't mean I am one."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes right back. "Maybe you should wear a name tag. What can I get you?"

"I have no idea. Something I won't taste, but I'll sure as hell feel." Even Honey had to admit that was a pretty damn Dauntless way to order. The bartender laughed and nodded, then mixed her up something pink and fizzy.

"It's called a Wet Dream," he informed the girl with a smirk. "Tastes like cotton candy and lemon."

Honey accepted the drink and shook her head. "Do all cocktails have sexual names?" She took a sip through the little twisty straw he'd put into the glass and smacked her lips. Oh, that's tasty.

"Well, they are called cock-tails." The girl snorted at the pun and pulled out the straw, tipping the drink back. "Shit, kid, you ain't supposed to shotgun the thing."

"I'm kind of impatient," she told him, setting the glass down. "Can I get some soda water? That shit's too sweet."

Before he'd even filled the glass, Honey's skin felt flush and her fingers, toes, and ears started to tingle. Ten minutes later, she was pretty well buzzed. Perfect. She thanked the barman, who's name she'd asked, but couldn't remember, and headed out into the Pit. Now, she could go find Eric and tell him she was sorry for being a shithead.

"Honey?" Someone called her name as she made her way somewhat unsteadily across the Pit, which was starting to get packed. "Hey, Honey, where the hell have you been? Eric's looking everywhere for you."

It turned out the someone was Ryland. Good. Ryland would know where Eric was. That was his job. "Yeah, well, he didn't find me. So, I'm winning. Where is he now?"

The man, who was almost as tall and dark as Four, but not as good-looking, eyed her for a moment before answering. "Here, come on. He said to bring you to him if I found you."

"Well, let's go then. Cause you found me," the girl nodded swaying slightly as she motioned for him to lead on. Then went along as he headed out of the Pit and into the tunnels.

"Where were you, anyway? Eric's been going nuts," Ryland said, looking down at her. "He thought you might have left the compound, but the tracker on your tab wasn't responding, which meant you had to be in the tunnels somewhere that blocks the signal."

Honey shrugged and brushed a curl out of her eyes. "Wouldn't have worked anyway. I sat on it and broke it earlier today."

"So he couldn't track you anyway? Good thing you didn't actually leave, then, I guess." She stumbled over a crack in the tunnel floor, but he caught her and steadied her as they continued on. "Didn't catch you on the cameras either. No one has any clue where you are."

"Well, you do," she pointed out.

"Yeah. I do," Ryland agreed. "It'll take a while to find you."

"But you alread-" The man grabbed Honey by the back of her neck and slammed her into the wall face first. Her cheek rebounded off the stone hard, dazing her already cottony brain further.

"Fucking hurts, doesn't it?" he growled in that same hissing timbre he'd used the night before in Eric's apartment. Fuck, she should have known better than to go off with Ryland! What the fuck was she thinking? "You're gonna really be hurting before I'm done with you."

Honey immediately threw her head back, catching him off guard and slamming her skull into his mouth. Ryland barked in surprise and pain, flinging her to the floor. As she struggled to her feet, the girl heard him spit and grunt angrily.

"You little bitch," he crooned almost playfully. Sure enough, his first punch went straight to her stomach and she'd have collapsed to the floor if not for his hand in her hair. Ryland was bleeding from his mouth, his bottom lip split so badly she could see his teeth. "I know you like it rough. All Eric's little cunts do. So, you're gonna love me."

The bastard punched her again, but this time he let her drop to the ground. He put a boot to her hip and shoved her flat to the stone, then dropped down to straddle her legs. Honey tried to squirm away, but Ryland caught her hair again and pressed something cold and hard to her throat. She froze at the feel of the knife, then cried out when he dragged it across her neck. For a moment, the girl thought that was it, that he'd killed her, but he hadn't. He'd used just enough pressure to cut into her skin, but not so much that the blade went deep enough to do real harm. And he'd done it without hesitation - this wasn't the first time.

Ryland laughed at her, drinking in her fear the way Honey had downed the Wet Dream. "Just a little taste, Honey pie. I'm not nearly done playing with you, yet."

The knife sliced into the back of her pants, making them loose around her hips, and he yanked them down roughly. The hand that was still in Honey's hair wrenched her back hard, making her arch up painfully far. Ryland directed that chilling hiss into her ear.

"I'm gonna make you bleed from every hole," he promised. He slid the tip of the blade into the collar of her shirt and down, slicing the fabric like paper. When he reached the bottom and moved to tuck his weapon away in the little sheath at his waist, Honey grabbed his hand and pushed it down hard. Again, it was a move the man didn't expect, and the blade of his knife sank deep into his own thigh.

Ryland let out a wail of pain and shock, falling back off of her. Honey scrambled forward and turned, kicking the knife handle to drive it even deeper. The man screamed and tipped sideways into the wall, gripping the hilt, but unable to pull it free.

The girl got her feet under her and launched herself at the disgusting waste of flesh in her path, her small fists landing blow after blow. These were not blind punches of mindless rage, but precise strikes that had been drilled into her for weeks. Set one: orbital bone, nose, clavicle, sternum, jaw. Again. Ryland shoved her off, knocking Honey back into the wall. Her head hit the stone again, hard, and this time, she went down. The Chasm rushed in to fill the space between her ears and she was falling forever into black.

Honey came back to the world kicking and screaming, fighting with all she had. Fortunately, it wasn't much and she'd only managed to incapacitate one orderly and savagely bite another before the doctor got her sedated again. She awoke again five minutes later, in a much calmer, if confused state. Hotdog was there, sitting by her bed, eyeing her warily, ready to call the doc back in if she went off the rails again.

"Hey, sweets," her friend said hesitantly. "You feeling homicidal anymore?"

"I feel like shit," the exhausted, hurting girl said in a raspy voice. Her throat was dry as a desert and filled with broken glass.

"You look worse," the former-Candor told her apologetically, concern etched into every feature. He got up and poured her some water from the pitcher by the bed, then held the cup while she drank. "If it makes you feel better, that orderly you knocked out got to go home for the day."

"What happened, Hots?" Honey demanded, her voice thick and tight and not at all steady. The last thing she remembered was Ryland cutting into her clothes and throwing her into a wall and now she was in a hospital bed and God, please, no, no, no.

He took Honey's hand and brushed his other over her hair lightly, afraid she might shatter. "He didn't rape you." Saying the words was very hard on Hotdog, it was clear, but she was so grateful he hadn't tried to euphemize the situation. The girl squeezed his hand back and covered her face with her other so he wouldn't have to see her tears of relief. "I don't understand, Honey. It was Ryland. He knows you. You work together."

"Yeah, he knows me," she sniffed, wiping her eyes. "What happened?"

"Eric came into security a about an hour after lunch and said you were missing. Your tablet tracker wasn't working and he needed to find you immediately for some sensitive issue." Her friend was frowning deeply in confusion and concern. "He was really pissed off. So, he told us to look for you on the monitors and report if we saw you. He came back a dozen times, but we had nothing. Where were you? Did you leave the compound?"

Honey shook her head, but for some reason was reluctant to give up her hiding place. "How did.. Who found me? Was it Eric?"

Hotdog shook his head. "No, we did. I saw you in the Pit coming out of that bar. Why were you in a bar? You don't even drink."

"I thought I might take it up. I was having a rough day." Her tone was angry and full of regret. Had Honey known how rough her day was about to get, she'd never have done it. So stupid. No one to blame but herself and her cowardice. "You and…?"

"I saw you and told Zeke. He sent a message to Eric that we'd found you and that you were with Ryland. We thought that was a good thing, like Eric had him looking for you, too. Then he ordered Zeke to go after you; that you weren't safe. So we all took off. Me, Zeke, Laika, all of us except Miren, who stayed to watch where you were going." His frown somehow deepened further, his eyes darkening with fear and anger and hate.

"Ryland really knew what he was doing. You guys just disappeared. We had to split up. Zeke found you and arrested him. Did you stab him in the leg?" She nodded. "Good. Too bad you didn't aim higher."

Honey managed a wan smile and squeezed his hand. "I did. You know I'm terrible with knives."

Hotdog didn't smile at all, but he did tighten his grip on her fingers. "Honey… Ryland, when Zeke got to you, he was c-" He broke off and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "He was cutting letters into your stomach."

Her eyes widened in horror and she immediately tried to pull back the sheets. Hotdog caught her hands and stopped her. "Don't! The doctor said not to let you take off your bandage. Honey, stop!"

She looked up at him, pleadingly. "What does it say? What did he carve into me?!" She started to hyperventilate. Hotdog pressed the call button and the doctor came in to up her sedative. Honey groaned in anguish, both mental and physical. "Tell me what it says!"

"He didn't finish. It just says 'Eric's C-u'."

The girl started to laugh, great, wrenching cackles that tore at her throat and wracked her aching body. It only took a minute for the laughter to die off as the medication kicked in, bringing her back down to some level of calm.

"He was gonna kill me, Hots, and wanted everyone to think it was Eric. He was writing 'Eric's Cunt'," Honey clarified for her friend, who looked so very stricken and it made her feel terrible. "That's what he called me. And it's funny, because that's what I am. Get it?"

She didn't sound like she thought it was funny. Hotdog just looked even more worried and upset.

"Honey…" For once the Candor was at a loss for words. He just reached out and stroked her hair with a shaky hand.

"You don't need to worry," the doctor spoke up, sounding reassuring in that way all medical personnel must be taught in school. "We performed a micro-graft using artificial skin, because the wounds were still fresh. There shouldn't be any evidence of the letters. It'll heal in a few days. The cut on your throat was very superficial, just the first few layers of epidermis, very little blood. You do have a mild concussion, so we're going to monitor your overnight, but you should be fine."

"Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna be fine, doc," Honey snapped, despite being so fucking grateful she couldn't express it. The man didn't seem insulted. They must trained them to be unflappable. Fucking noses. They were the cause of all her woes. The one in the mirror most of all.

"Yes, you are," Hotdog insisted, in a scolding tone. "That piece of shit isn't going to break you. He's nothing."

You are unbreakable.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Hots," the girl said, giving his hand a little reassuring jostle, forcing back the tears the memory of Eric's words was drawing up. "Does anyone else know?"

He shook his head. "I haven't left since we got here."

"Good. Don't tell them. I don't want-"

"I don't really care what you want, Honey," her friend declared firmly. "You're not going to try and shoulder this all on your own. I'm telling everyone and we're all coming back in here with cake and food and we're not leaving until you're released. We might just follow you around for the rest of your life, I dunno yet."

Honey couldn't stop the tears, then; big, warm ones that soaked her cheeks and made her breath hitch and hurt her heart, but only because it's a fragile organ and can only hold so much gratitude and love before it aches. She motioned the wonderful loudmouth down so she could hug him and Hotdog carefully rocked her side to side until the tears dried up again.

Poor Honey. Talk about a rough day.

What do you all think about Eric's little diatribe?