Chapter 33 – A dream within a dream

''O God! Can I not grasp them with a tighter clasp? O God! Can I not save one from the pitiless wave? Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream?'' ~ Edgar Allan Poe

The first thing I noticed was the silence and from it, was a soft continuous clicking. I felt a cold zing inside my head, waking me up from the numbed slumber I was in. But then, I cannot move. I can't move. I can't move. The ticking inside my head grew louder. My hand twitched. Ice raked down from my head down to my spine, spreading to the peripheral nerves of my body.

''Oh, there it is!'' I heard someone say.

Help. Help me! Help! I shouted in my mind, hopelessly hoping they can hear me.

''New memories are stored in the hippocampus while old memories are kept in the cerebral cortex.''

This is when I realise what was happening.It's this again. No…No…This is just a dream. Just a dream. A nightmare. Why? Why…

''Hatsu is a technique for manipulating aura at will…'' I found myself saying. No! No! No! Wake up! Wake up! I groaned louder, struggling to free myself. But something heavy was on top of me.

'' To summarise the categories of Nen users…'' My breath hitched and I tilted my head back to get more air.

''There are…enhancers, transmuters…'' Stop. Wake up. Don't say it. It's just a dream. Nonononono… ''Manipulators, specialists, conjurers and emitters…''

''Nya. I see. I see. Tell me more, dear.'' The chimera burrowed those cold antennae deeper into my brain. I shifted to get away but invisible hands gripped me to stay in my place.

Then, I saw myself on a tub made of cold earth, naked and my eyes wide open in frozen horror. I felt the needles delve in further for information, nudging the supple brain and creating disgusting wet noises as the ant moved.

I took another deep breath although it didn't do anything to ease my racing heartbeat. Warm tears fell from my unblinking eyes. I felt it down my ears. It was uncomfortable. But I can't move. I can't move. Wake up!

''…Nya. Got everything I need, nya.'' I gasped again when I felt the ant pick up a piece from my brain with his fingers. ''Nya. The brain really is the tastiest part.'' The ant stabbed my brain using the antennae then brought it up to its mouth. I jerked in response. I saw it glisten, wet under the red light. ''Nya. Delicious!''

''Neferpitou-sama…Can we have the rest?'' Someone else said. I saw a silhouette of a large chicken and various insects, standing on their hind legs.

They teared off my limbs and enthusiastically bit off the red meat, moaning and groaning at the chance to satisfy their hunger. They told me I tasted good. Better than the rest. Then, they sliced my stomach open and said that the liver and the intestines were also as good as the brain. They asked me where my brother was. Because he should even be tastier. Someone with potential like that was bound to. They grabbed my mouth open and asked again. When I didn't answer, they snapped it open and feasted on my face.

But I can't move. I can't move. I can't move.

I woke up with a gasp so deep that it hurt my lungs. I coughed, my shoulders heaving as I tried to control my breathing. I scrambled to sit up and leaned my back against the head board. Only to go still when it brought back the memory of the nightmare to the fore-front of my mind, I clumsily crawled out of bed and sat on the cold floor.

Something tugged from my hands. My breath hitched as my eyes finally registered a dextrose inserted inside my skin, plastered heavily for support. I tried to control my breathing to no avail. My whole body was tensed and my arms and hands trembled. I wanted to pull away but… but the needles were stuck inside my hand.

Needles…Shocks…Pain…Illumi…Torture…

''No…No…No…Gon…Oh Gon…'' I cried out and tightened my lips to stop myself.

Calm down. They're just needles! Just needles… No need to be scared…'' I mumbled to myself and with a soft cry, I weakly climbed back on the bed, holding my heavy head and trying to forget the flashes memories and nightmares away.

I brought my knees closer to my chest and rested my head in them. My hands fluttered and tapped at my limbs. My legs are here and my arms are here…Then, they fell on my stomach, a ghost line burned on my skin and phantom hands pushed it and my ribs outwards to seize at the innards. I could almost hear them buzzing and cackling. They skittered around me, pushing for their turn like hungry children rummaging the garbage bins for some food.

I felt bile rising up my throat and I let myself fall back on the bed to prevent myself from throwing up. I pushed the duvet off my face to let myself breathe in some cool air. Just a nightmare. A nightmare.

Nightmares… How stupid, I thought. My Hatsu can create nightmares out of shadows. I'm supposed to rule with the night but why does the night still give me nightmares? Why?!

I had used my recurring nightmares to build off that technique. Since I can merge in with the night and manipulate its shadows… why not create nightmares out of them too? And so I did. It wasn't hard to do since I've seen many gory images before (from novels and medical books) and have read many horror stories. It also helped that I have an overactive imagination.

It felt almost too easy. It felt unreal that I was able to create my Hatsu so readily like that. It didn't feel real even though I can clearly remember my last spar with the Chairman. Maybe because I didn't know I can make something and be something else other than myself. I've never been strong. I have never been strong enough before. It feels good to finally have an edge. Even though it's only at night.

What if you get captured in the day?

Simple is the answer, of course. Either I die or I don't get captured in the day. My Hatsu was strong because of the conditions I made. Heck, I even got Netero use his Hatsu. And he used not only one technique but more! If that didn't kick ass, I don't know what would. So, even though it may look like a weakness rather than strength, I am happy with it. I just need to wait and defeat all of them at night… Beside, evil people usually go out at night.

Adds into the suspense.

I let myself smile when I noticed that I was calmer than before. My small smile fell however, when I found myself in a familiar room.

A high-ceilinged room with its walls designed with rose vines, naked cherubs, and lovesick couples appeared before me. There was a set of double doors on the far right of the room whilst a window was on the far left, covered with crimson drapes. I sat back up again, holding on to my plastered wrists while my hands itched to remove the IV needles. Across the queen-sized bed I was in with its red and gold coloured duvets and sheets, was a group of black couches and a low glass table, standing in front of the hearth.

I was in my room back in the Hunters Association.

But it took us about 3 days to travel to and fro. Did I sleep that long? If yes, then that explains the IV drips…

I let out a pained moan when my stomach seethed as if it was attempting to digest itself. Looking to my right, my eyes caught a teapot with a note plastered on it saying 'Drink me'. I narrowed my eyes and blinked repeatedly while peering at it. In the end, I realised it was Bean's hand-writing.

My whole body felt weak. I had no strength in them. If I had really slept straight in three days… then my body had completely shut down for three days with no food and no water - only these artificial sustenance. I reached out, crawling closer to the bedside table and carefully hefted the pitcher. My grip shook and some of the brown liquid spilled around the cup. A whiff a jasmine wafted to my nose. This was Bean's brew.

I brought the cup up to my lips with two unstable hands. I made certain that I was holding onto it properly so it wouldn't fall to my lap and make more mess.

After drinking the unknown tisane, I placed the cup back to its place and laid back down in bed, sighing as I felt my stomach slowly settle. My heart beat started to slow. I focused on breathing and listened to its slowing rhythm. Next thing I know, I was back asleep.

This time, there was nothing there to haunt me.

When I woke up again, there was a warm comforting hand on my forehead. I opened my crusted eyes. The hand moved and I lifted my own to rub the crust away so I can properly see.

''Feel better?'' I knew it was him. I let my head flop to one side, facing his direction. From my foggy eyes, I could make out his form. He was now wearing his usual pristine white and blue kimono and he was sitting on a mahogany armchair beside my bed. From my peripheral, I saw that the little tea pot of tisane was gone. My stomach grumbled.

I felt his hand on my head again, brushing up my forehead. My dazed eyes focused once again and met his solemn grey ones. For once, there was no spark of mischief in his eyes. ''You pushed yourself too far, dear.'' He said. I blinked, too weak to do anything else. ''…You had us all worried.''

I closed my eyes once again. His thumb that was massaging my forehead made me feel even sleepier. ''You need to stay awake now, dear. To eat something even just a little.'' He pulled away and I opened my bleary eyes, whining softly in complaint.

'' …Don't stop… Please?''

I sighed in content when he actually acknowledged my plea. His thumb moved from my forehead to my temple, gentle and warm. I felt myself falling deeper into the beckoning darkness of slumber.

''…Gin, dear. Stay awake for a moment, I just called Bean. He's coming to bring you something to drink.'' I felt him pinching my cheek to the point that it was almost painful.

I groaned, glowering with my eyes closed and turned my face away. He pinched my other cheek instead. ''Shishou.''' I growled and turned my back on him completely, slowly drowsing deeper to sleep.

''Stay awake for the tea, dear.'' I could hear the smile in his voice. I felt his shadow over me and swatted the incoming hand just on time before it hurt my cheek again. I let out a growl (though it sounded a little like a cat's meow. But this could only be because of my half-asleep state).

''Come on!'' he sang.

''I will. Stop… I will… I'm awake…''

I heard him sigh before the shadow disappeared. I forcibly opened my heavy eyes when there were three knocks that sounded. ''Come in, Bean!'' Netero bellowed merrily. I moaned in annoyance and frustration. His booming voice rang inside the room and he did that on purpose.

A single mahogany door clacked opened. ''Is Miss Gin finally awake, Chairman!?'' His excited tone made me smile despite my exhaustion.

I hummed in reply when I found that I also don't have the energy to say anything. I pushed myself to lie on my back. ''She is. But still very weak.'' Answered Netero.

''Ah…'' was the despondent reply. I opened my eyes once again when I heard the clanking of kitchen wares, followed by a soft clink of teacup meeting the teapot's spout and the sound of the tea being poured.

I groaned in protest when I felt myself being pulled up to sit down. Netero smelled of old smoke and green tea. ''Just one drink before you can sleep again, dear. You need it. To keep up your strength and the depression at bay.'' He murmured the last part but since he was very close, I heard it anyway. A warm ceramic cup touched my lips.

I hesitantly drank the tea, half scared that it might burn my lips. But I found it warm and soothingly fragrant. When the liquid entered my mouth, I realised how dry and how thirsty I really was. ''Slowly.'' I heard Netero say. He tilted the cup slightly down to reduce the flow. My hands reached up to clasp his hand that held the cup. ''Slowly, dear. You have more.'' My hands fell because even keeping them upright felt tiring.

''…What's wrong with me?'' I whispered as I rested my back against the pillows.

Netero brought the cup to Bean while the latter poured more brown liquid into it. I sighed and blankly stared at the intricate gold and crimson embroidery on my duvet sheet. A hand tilted my chin up to drink. ''I didn't think it would affect you like this, dear. I never thought you'd actually push yourself that far.''

I remembered my last spar against him – the children of night emerging out from the shadows, my body enveloped by my defensive shroud, a forest drained out of their life energy and me telling him of the other condition I had made. Maybe I shouldn't have told him that.

''…You told me to not hesitate and try to kill you.'' I said, voice stronger after the thirst I didn't know I have, has been quenched.

He scoffed then laughed softly. ''So I did, didn't I?'' Netero sat back on his chair whilst Bean stared at me. I smiled at his worried expression. His eyes have always been very kind. He reminded me a little of a loyal dog, always eager to please and follow his master's orders.

''I'm fine now, Bean. Thank you.'' He bowed and he seemed to misunderstand my thanks as dismissal because he started to tidy up. I opened my mouth to tell him he can stay if he wants to when Netero cut in.

''You've been asleep for four days. In fact, you may even say it five days now since it's currently night-time.'' My eyes met his serious ones. ''I didn't know if you'll wake up or not. The doctor said that you were in a state of coma. Not even Nen can wake you. You woke up this morning, didn't you? You should've called me. Or Bean.'' His white and long eyebrows knitted and he looked down on me with disapprovingly. Then, he sighed. Bean left the room quietly.

''However, it is good that this happened.'' He propped his elbows on the arm-rests then crossed his fingers together without taking off his eyes on me. ''Now you know you're limits. You need more training. You can't just say 'I don't want to fight anymore' in the middle of a battle and expect your opponent to end the fight, carry you on his back and then have you nursed back to health. ''

''Is that what you did?'' I can't help but smile. I laughed softly when his face carefully flattened, devoid of any expression. I watched as the sharp glint in his eyes re-appeared in another blink of an eye and how his lips curled up. Now he's back…

'' Of course, dear. I wouldn't just leave my little apprentice in the middle of the woods.''

Now it was my turn to scoff at his overly saccharine tone. ''…Five days, huh.'' My eyes roamed at my surroundings. The chandelier on the ceiling was turned on at low, illuminating the room with a warm yellow glow. The ventilation whirred softly and the sound of traffic revved faintly from outside.

I shifted and stretched, feeling and hearing various pops from my joints. Despite the fact that my weights were all gone, I still felt unbearably heavy. Fisting my weakened hands, the IV needles caught my attention once again. ''Can I have them removed?''

His hands looked huge compared to mine. His fingers were long, wrinkled but strong. I forced myself to watch as his adept hands unrolled the plaster from my skin and then carefully pulled out the needle out of a vein. ''Other hand.'' I obeyed and watched as he did the same with it. The needle glistened under the yellow light. For a moment, I saw blood and some brain matter surrounding it. When I blinked again, it was gone.

''…What's wrong, dear?''

I took a deep breath and just found out that I was breathing heavily again. ''I need…I need to go home.'' I found myself saying.

''Why?''

I closed my eyes and saw Mito's sad smile and Grandmother Abe's accepting one. ''Mito and Granny are waiting…''

''I would have thought you'd want to see your brother first.'' He commented lightly.

''…Him too.''

He hummed in reply and there was a pause where we were both silent, lost in our own thoughts. Him, thinking while I, wondering of what he could be thinking about, along with the macabre thoughts that fleetingly appear and disappear in my mind.

''I don't know if you know but since you are one then you should.'' He started and I waited patiently. ''All hunters must hunt something.'' He announced. I looked away from his intense gaze and stared blankly into space. I knew what he was asking already and I rummaged my own befuddled head for what I could possibly want to hunt for.

''…What is it that you want to hunt, dear?'' When I didn't answer, he continued. ''Your brother wants to find your father.'' My hand twitched on its own. For some reason, I could never forget his face even though I really want to. I dread the day when I find myself face to face with him. The day when Gon finds him. I wish that it would never happen. But it needs to happen. Or else Gon would never stop and I would never find peace.

''What is it that you want to hunt for, my dear?''

''What do you hunt for, Shishou?''

I smiled when he chuckled. ''You can't answer questions with another, dear. That's not fair.''

''…Nothing is ever fair.''

''And you're forever good at words, aren't you?''

''Maybe I should write a book.''

''Maybe you should. What is going to be about?''

I hummed in thought. ''…A girl reborn in another world, perhaps.''

'' Oh?...Interesting! What world would it be?''

''Hm…Somewhere nice maybe, where all her problems revolved on her insecurities as a girl, a certain hot but extremely annoying guy, the other girls who want the guy for themselves, and her future career in life... Or maybe in a world of magic, where she finds herself in love and loved by a handsome wizard with a moving castle… Or maybe…maybe where the girl finds herself stuck in another world, unable to move back or forwards, confused of what she should and shouldn't do, what she needs to do, or what and who she is…Something like that…''

''Again, I wonder what's going on in that little head of yours.''

I chuckled mirthlessly. ''Oh…Nothing good, Shishou. I pity the woman who'd dare seek my thoughts.''

''…Woman?''

''Most women love to snoop around and know other people's secrets. I wouldn't be surprise if you find a woman with the ability to hear people's thoughts or something similar to that ability.'' I droned out.

I saw him smiling from the corner of my eyes. ''Has anyone told you, dear Gin, that you are very, very, interesting?''

''None really. Just the usual cute, pretty, beautiful, charming…. I'll add interesting to my collection.''

He tilted his head back in laughter. Reclining on his chair, he watched me. ''Well, you are.'' Then, he scooted his chair closer and then propped his elbows on the bed, leaning closer. I refused to meet his eyes in fear of getting caught in them. ''Gin, my dear.'' He called. I merely blinked and waited, watching the shadows on the walls. ''What is it that you want in this life, dear?''

I closed my tired eyes as I saw Pokkle's face flash in my head, Ponzu's blood and bits of her clothes smeared on the floor, Togari's face when I killed him – eyes wide open and mouth parted in a silenced scream, Bodoro's dead body, the smile on my friends' face when they passed, Leorio holding on to his chest where his card was safely tucked, emotionless eyes, scarlet eyes, severed heads, man-eating chimeras, scared children hugging each other, Kaito's death, Gon's dulled eyes, Killua's tears…

''…'' A warm hand rested on my head and fell on one side of my face. He turned my head and forced me to meet his eyes. He caressed my warm cheek with his thumb before he patted it twice quite heavily as if wanting to wake me up.

''Find one thing that you want in this life and find it. Don't look anywhere else. That's how you can survive this world, dear child.''

A kiss fell on my forehead. Then he stood up, preparing to leave.

''…You're going to die.'' I whispered before I can think against it. ''Chimera ants will evolve. Eating humans. Their King will be born - a boy with a green helmet…

''When you see people die before they do, see them suffer before they do…Can I still look somewhere else, Shishou?'' I weakly clutched at my bed-sheets and buried myself deeper into the covers. A few seconds of silence has passed but still he didn't say anything. But I can still sense his presence in the room and his shadow over myself. I reached out blindly and instantly felt the soft fabric of his kimono. My uneven breathing was loud inside the quiet room and the warm tears creeped in uncomfortably in my ears.

'' Shishou, what should I do in this life? Why am I here? Are you going to kill me? Am I going to die soon? Am I going crazy, Shishou?'' I tried shaking him when he didn't answer. I wiped the snot off my nose with my other hand and took a deep breath. I opened my eyes and stared at the dark canopy, my tears blurring my eyes.

''Maybe none of these is real. Maybe it's all a dream and one day, I'll wake up. I'll wake up and laugh at it. So maybe it's okay. It's okay if I just stay and let everything happen. But why…why I am here? Why can't I just let it go? Why does it hurt? Why am I who I am? Why am I scared? Why am I here? I want to go home…I want to go home…Help me go home…''

I felt his hand cover mine and he pushed it down gently to the bed. I sighed shakily and held my other hand in an attempt to comfort myself. I'm okay. I'm okay…Not real… Not real…

I gasped, however, when the bed beside me shifted down. ''Yosh.'' I heard him say cheerfully. I opened my blurry eyes and caught a sight of the blue collar of his kimono. I felt him pull me closer to his chest, his heartbeat against my ear. He put a hand upon my hair and brushed it with his fingers, reminding me instantly of Gon.

''Sleep now, dear.'' I can't help the cry that burst out of my mouth even though I tried. I shamelessly wiped my wet face on his shirt. ''Sleep. You'll be better in the morning.'' I pulled him closer in my small hands as I followed the rhythm of his breathing.

''The Chimeras…''

''—Are not here. Sleep. Shishou will take care of it.''

In the end, my chest felt lighter than ever before as if relieved to share the burden with someone else. Netero was a good person to share my secret with. He was old, yes, but he was good as far as being good can be. I let out a long sigh of relief and let myself fall asleep once again. It has been so long since I fell asleep with someone protecting me, I thought with a smile. Soon. Soon, I'll be with Gon soon.

The next morning, the weakness in my limbs were gone though I still felt a little heavy. Other than this, I was very eager to get out of bed. I still need to write back to my brother and ask Bean for the hundreds of letters he undoubtedly sent.

I found myself alone in my room with the curtains pulled back, letting in the early rays of sunlight. When I sat up in bed, I started and scrambled backwards upon seeing a headless woman standing motionless by my bed. ''SHIT!'' I cursed and I admit that it felt good to swear after such a long time (five days ago, apparently).

I let out a loud sigh and relaxed against the headboard when I realised that it was only a statue. I scoffed, shaking my head while massaging my forehead. ''Bet this was Netero's idea…that cruel old man.'' I muttered to myself, glowering so early in the morning.

But then, my scowl fell as soon as my eyes realised what they were seeing. The figurine was wearing a hanfu dress – a type of traditional Chinese clothing. It consisted of a black star-lit broad-sleeved inner garment and a tucked in deep red chest-high ruqun. A golden sash secured the two garments tight together and four slivers of the thin golden silk fell against the crimson skirt. One on the front, one behind and two on each of my sides.

I closed my parted mouth and swallowed. ''Woah…'' I exclaimed softly. The whole ensemble screamed sophistication and wealth. It has been a very, very, long time since I wore something cool. With this outfit, I could totally pass being an empress or a high-born lady, or a princess…Oh yeah…

I haven't really thought of what I was going to wear for the ball but I reckoned it should be something practical. If I was supposed to wear a dress, I thought that maybe it should be short to allow easily access from my knives and easy movement when running. But this hanfu fell down to my feet. I would need to grasp my skirts up to run or else I might accidentally trip.

Not like I could run far enough if they were adamant on chasing after me…

My eyes shifted down at the wooden sandals beside the dress. It was similar to Netero's except for the additional tooth. That was considerate of him…I thought and with an excited smile, I slipped the shoes on and pranced around with them, laughing joyfully by myself. Looking at the hanfu dress once again, I kicked the shoes off and ran to the bathroom for a quick shower.

First, I brushed my teeth because my bad breath was more than awful. I rushed it quite a bit because I suddenly felt the need to wee. I was okay until I felt something trickle down my thighs. My reflection frowned back at me, bemused before they widened in horror.

So I looked down to my pink pyjama pants. At first, I didn't notice it until…

''Oh my GODDDDD! NOOOOOOOO!''

The dining room was silent except for the soft clanks of plates and cutleries as three of us ate. I scooped another spoonful of my egg and corn soup. It was the first warm food I ate for five days and apparently the only one since I can't suddenly eat so much after such a long time of not eating anything solid.

After my mini-freak out, I calmed myself down and took a shower. No wonder I felt so heavy, particularly my lower abdomen.

''Now, my sweet…'' I froze midway my eating and shot him my most evil and coldest glare. Netero smiled merrily at me as he refilled his cup with more tea. ''My sweet, darling—''

''STOP IT! You're so creepy! Dear is enough!''

He took a sip from his cup. ''Now that you've fully matured—'' He dodged the flying cup right on time.

''I will clean that later, Bean.'' I growled.

''You must understand that—''

''STOP IT OLD MAN!''

He blinked as if confused. Then, he let his face soften as if in understanding. ''I know, my dear. It can be rather embarrassing but you see… this is completely natural!'' I ignored and resumed my eating. There was no way he'd stop. Unless I challenge him to battle right now and shut him up forever.

But I was in no mood to move at all. My…the area between my legs felt very sore. So I swallowed my wounded pride and let myself be taunted and teased again and again.

Netero placed another cup by my side just as I finished my soup and then casually filled it with tea. ''Now this, is chamomile tea, courtesy of Bean! Chamomile soothes the mind and the body, doesn't it, Bean?!'' The Bean man bowed his head as if both to agree and to yield. ''I read that it can help with Premenstrual syndromes aka PMS. That includes physical and emotional symptoms such as acne, bloating, tiredness, irritability, mood swings…'' the old man shook his head and sighed exaggeratedly. ''Now it all makes sense…''

You sadistic, cruel, asshat! Urgh! I can't believe I liked you for a moment! I yelled at him in my head as I continued shooting him with my death glare. But alas! He seems immune to them. He motioned at the cup with a conceited smile. I sneered at him before I took careful sips. It really was soothing though. If only he'd stop being an arsehole though.

''See! I told you!''

Why now!? Why didn't it happen when I'm with Gon!

''…Did you like your dress, dear? I chose it myself! Very pretty, right?''

I relaxed for abit when the subject changed. I let myself smile at him even though I was really annoyed. ''Yes, Shishou. Very pretty. Thank you.''

He nodded, smilingly. ''Well, of course! I need you to look good when you meet your…your future potential friends!''

''You mean my future potential killers…'' I drawled out, ignoring how Bean shook his head violently.

''Hohoho! That may happen.'' He said seriously. I turned to him. He smiled and poked my wrinkled forehead. I instantly fixed my face and stretched the spot. Dang it… ''It may happen if you don't play your cards, right.'' he added.

''How should I play it?'' I asked even though I know he'd offer no help.

He grinned evilly. He turned to Bean then back to me. ''Pariston undoubtedly knows you're here. In fact, he just came in to visit this morning!'' He leaned in closer. ''He says he can't wait to meet you!''

I grimaced and ignored how goose bumps raced across my skin. Maybe I should escape tonight. I could always bring the dress with me.

'' I'm looking forward for your end of the deal, dear.'' He suddenly said and I looked up, puzzled.

''What deal? I didn't sign anything!''

He merely smiled and with a deeper and threatening tone, ''I train you, you keep me entertain. Give me a good show tomorrow night, dear.''

I sighed and accepted the fate I chose for myself. ''Yes, Shishou.''

AN: Okay! Thanks for all the reviews last chapter! I enjoyed reading them! I forgot to add WavyWavy's very helpful idea of the Mongoose. Thanks so much, dear! I hope you like that chapter! Now this chapter is full of suspense, aye? We also see that Gin's depression and PTSD is still very much active. I'm so sorry for her. Depression, PTSD and recurring nightmares, they are all awful stuff. Sadly, not many people understand how bad these things can be.

I'm sorry for any mistakes! Regarding the quotes, I really try to suit them with the story. In fact, I personally search for the right quote because they help me when writing. At last! Gin has a chance to dress-up once again! Thank you so much for taking time and reviewing in this story. It keeps me going and it really excites me too! NEXT CHAPTER! OMYGOD! GIN HAS NO IDEA! Any thoughts?