Chapter Thirty-Four
Unintended
Bella's Point of View
"Bella?" I heard Edward call, and my eyelids opened. For a moment, I was blinded by the sun which was now high in the sky, partially hidden behind clouds. I blinked a few times trying to clear my eyes. There were still black dots covering my vision, but I looked towards my husband anyways.
Edward was standing at the edge of the meadow, looking much better than he had looked yesterday. The dark circles under his eyes seemed to have faded slightly and he didn't look quite as haggard. I smiled lightly at him and patted the patch of grass beside me, watching as Edward loped over to the spot and lay down beside me.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," I joked, smiling as I lightly kissed his lips. When I pulled away, I caught Edward smiling. I traced his lips gently with my fingers and said, "You look like you slept well last night."
"I did," Edward answered, the smile not leaving his lips. He pulled me closer to him and kissed my forehead lightly, leaving a warm patch on my skin which was cold from the rain. "It helped to have finally gotten a chance to talk, I think," he mused, absently staring up at the grey sky. "We haven't had much time for that lately, it seems."
"We've had the time," I countered, shaking my head softly. "We just haven't known what to say to each other. We haven't really known what to say to each other since we found out about the leukemia."
Edward was silent for a moment, but then he nodded in agreement with my words. "That's probably true," he murmured, turning so that his green eyes stared into mine. "Let's not do that anymore," he suggested. "No matter if we don't know what to say or how to say what we're thinking, we say it anyways. No more of those secrets, all right?"
I nodded and buried my face in Edward's chest. "All right." Edward laughed softly and wrapped his arms around my body. His face lowered down towards me and he kissed my bare scalp, his lips meeting the skin I had forgotten to cover up this morning.
"Would this be a good time to tell you that Alice called and told you to call her back, as soon as humanly possible?" Edward asked, mimicking his sister with a gentle laugh.
"Nope," I answered with a coy smile. "Not a good time. Let's say you conveniently forget that she called for a few hours. Then you can remind me and I will suffer through her disappointment in me. Sound like a plan to you?"
I was rewarded with Edward's soft chuckle. "Sounds like a plan," he agreed. He was silent for a moment, and I looked up to find him staring off at the meadow around us with a pensive look in his eyes. "It's been so long since we were out here," Edward said after a while, reminding me of the thought I had had this morning. "When was it, two summers ago?"
"I think so," I answered, trying to sort through the memories. "Yeah," I said firmly as a picture settled into my mind. Edward and me, dressed in the same outfits we had worn to Jessica and Mike's wedding. "Remember? You were wearing that ridiculous suit that all the groomsmen had to wear."
"As I recall it, I wasn't wearing that 'ridiculous suit' for long," Edward reminded me, and I blushed at the memory. Edward laughed and ran his long fingers over my cheeks, a friendly smile on his face. "Why are you blushing, love? We're married. It isn't a secret what goes on, Bells."
"I know," I mumbled, unable to explain the blush. Edward laughed lightly but dropped the subject, apparently picking up on my lack of words at the moment.
"You are so adorable when you blush," Edward murmured in my ear, his lips sending shivers down my spine. Edward laughed softly and wrapped his arms around my weak body, pulling me close to him and warming me up with the contact. Edward buried his face in my neck, where my hair normally would have fallen. But instead, there was nothing but skin. And it didn't seem to faze Edward at all.
"I love you," I breathed, feeling in awe of my husband.
"I know you do," Edward answered, and for a moment I felt like punching him. Way to be romantic. That was, until he began to speak again. "I know that you love me, Bella, and that's what keeps me going. When I found out you had cancer, I felt like part of me was dying inside along with you. But when I saw that hopelessness on your face, I knew that I had to be strong for you. I knew that you needed me, and that made me want to be the best I could be, just for you. Knowing that you love me, that you need me, is enough to keep me going when I feel like there is nothing left for us but daydreams. I love you Bella, more than I ever thought was possible."
"Now that's more like it," I smiled, curling up once more into my husband's chest.
-o-
"Bella Cullen, you have some explaining to do," Alice nearly shouted into the phone when Edward and I finally clambered inside, with faces, hands, and toes numb with the cold, and I had forced myself to call her. I took a deep breath and waited for another attack, but nothing came. Apparently Alice really did want an explanation.
"Edward and I were out in the meadow. He forgot to tell me you called," I said only somewhat honestly.
"Sure he did," Alice muttered. "You're just lucky I don't have time to interrogate either of you right now. I have more important things to deal with right now."
"And what would those things be?" I asked curiously.
"Angela's bachelorette party!" Alice cried as if it were painfully obvious. "I finally got it scheduled. It is on Tuesday, and then the wedding is set to be on the Thursday after. You had better tell me that you don't have plans, and if you do you need to cancel them."
"I-I'm open," I stammered. "Alice, do you realize that this is all barely a week away? What's with the sudden hurry to get this wedding over with?"
"Well, I wanted to have it sooner rather than later," Alice explained. "Just in case you…" She trailed off awkwardly and I could almost hear her unspoken words. Just in case I didn't get better. Just in case I didn't make it through this.
There was a stiff silence before Alice realized her mistake. "Oh my goodness, Bella. I didn't mean that. It came out wrong, okay? You are going to be fine."
"O-okay," I agreed with a shaky voice. I wiped a single tear off of my cheek and tried to shake off my emotions. "Yeah, yeah," I breathed, mostly to convince myself. "You're right."
"I'm really sorry, Bella," Alice said again, her voice painfully earnest.
"I know," I answered, closing my eyes and wishing she would just keep talking; praying that she would distract me from the growing discomfort in my stomach and the weakness in my bones. "Let's just forget it, okay? What else did you need to tell me?"
"Oh," Alice stumbled. "Um, the bachelorette party is going to be a masquerade ball type thing at my uncle's bar. So all of us need to dress up in a costume and get a mask too."
"A masquerade ball?" I repeated dubiously. "Isn't that a little too…I don't know, cheesy?"
"Of course not!" Alice protested. "It is going to be fun. So go to the mall today and get your costume. I need to approve it by Sunday."
"Okay, Alice," I sighed, shaking my head in slight amusement. "I will talk to you later then, I guess."
"Yep," Alice smiled. "And Bella, I really am sorry, okay? Smile and get yourself a cookie or something at the mall today. You are going to be fine. I promise."
-o-
"What did Alice want?" Edward asked when I returned to the living room a few minutes later, my arms crossed tightly across my stomach in the vain attempt to quiet the unsettled feeling that lingered there. Edward must have noticed, because he pulled me onto his lap and rubbed my back lightly in comfort.
"I guess I have to go shopping to get an outfit for the bachelorette party," I told him softly. I leaned my forehead against my husband's chest and took a deep breath, washing out my unease with his familiarity. Edward's gentle fingers ran over the silk scarf now wrapped tightly on my head, and he sighed. I knew that the scarf was a sad replacement for my hair, which he had loved so much.
"Can I come help?" Edward asked with a sly smile. My face darkened and he laughed. "I was kidding, Bells. But do you mind if I come with? I need to pick up a few things as well. We could be eco-friendly and carpool," he joked.
"Only on one condition," I told him, my expression serious. His eyebrows rose curiously and I continued. "You are not allowed to be anywhere near me in the mall. Alice has a strict no-spying policy."
Edward rolled his eyes, but nodded just the same. "I guess that is reasonable."
A/N: Wow! This is an update. It's been a while. And sorry that it is kind of short, the next chapter will definitely be longer. So if you would review, that would be awesome. Thanks! (Oh, and feel free to pester me if you want a chapter. I will try and write if I have time.)