I'm just going to apologize now. And remind you that I love happy endings. So just trust me on this.
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or the characters, they belong to Eiichiro Oda.
In The End
Kid wasn't the type of man to ever find himself lost. But after the blow up with Nami, he had never felt more lost in his life, and he had no idea how to find his way out.
The fight wasn't just a setback in his relationship with her. It wasn't like the chaos surrounding how they finally got together. It wasn't like the first real fight they had. He had broken a promise, shattered it entirely. A promise he made to himself at the same time he made it to her.
He hurt her, scared her. He let his anger get the best of him and dictate how he treated the woman he swore he loved. If she hadn't started whimpering, hadn't told him that she was in pain, he might not have stopped himself, and what that anger could have led him to do truly terrified him. He couldn't take back what happened, he couldn't find any excuse to make it better. He had to fix the mess he had made of his life, but he had no idea where to start.
He feared there was no way to fix what he had just broken. And worse yet, he was beginning to think he didn't deserve a chance to find out if he could.
He had gone straight home after Nami kicked him out. He didn't pay his friends any mind as he stormed in, his temper too on edge to risk talking to them. He was angry at himself, not them, but he just saw how easily he could turn that rage onto the people he cared about. If he could hurt Nami in his mood, there was no telling what he might do to his best friends. He locked himself in the basement without a word and turned his stereo up until he was sure the whole house shook. He needed to filter out everything outside of himself and drown out the ensuing maelstrom of emotion he unleashed when he couldn't hold it in any longer.
His friends wisely avoided him until the next day when Killer let himself in and picked his way through the remains of the basement and bedroom. Kid was in bed by then, but far from sleeping as he wracked his brain for some way to make it right with Nami, while still thinking he didn't deserve to. His stereo and bed were all that remained intact down there, only because one gave him somewhere to lay once he wore himself out destroying everything else, and the other soothed his tattered emotions and gave him some sense of focus.
Killer brought breakfast with him, but Kid didn't want to touch it and buried himself under his sheets with a growl, telling his best friend to leave him alone. Of course Killer didn't listen, but that was why he was his best friend. The blond set the plate on the first clean surface he could find, shut off the stereo, and took a seat on the bed beside him. He said nothing. Didn't push for him to explain what happened, merely sat and waited for Kid to gather himself together.
His anger turned into a pain that bound his chest like a steel clamp, squeezing and squeezing until he couldn't breathe. He didn't want to lose Nami, but he knew he would. He knew he had to.
"I got fired," he said flatly after fifteen minutes of patient silence. Killer hummed, giving away no judgement or reprimand in the sound. "I went to Nami's after," he went on, gripping tight to the pillow he had been curled around for the last three hours after his rampage left him exhausted. It was Nami's pillow. "She's going to break up with me."
"Because you got fired?" Killer asked, shifting on the bed. Kid didn't have to look to know his friend had a brow raised, confused and in disbelief.
"Because I hurt her," Kid admitted quietly. "I got angry. She wasn't there. Again. My temper was thin from the casino, and I just lost it with her once she got home."
"What did you do to her exactly?" Killer asked, his voice dark with an unspoken threat. That was good. Kid didn't want his friend to side with him on this. He deserved whatever beating he got for it.
"I just wanted to hold her, get in bed, and forget the damn night. But I was angry and she was… I don't know… I guess she was worried about what happened…" He sighed and pushed off the sheet as he rolled to his back. He speared his fingers through his hair and shut his eyes as he remembered the fear in her expression when he finally let go. "I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to be with her. We argued. I grabbed her. Harder than I thought. She got scared. I held tighter. Her wrists are probably bruised. I stopped when I realized what I was doing. But… If she hadn't said anything, or if I hadn't listened…." He groaned. "I don't know what would have happened. I didn't want to hurt her. I just wanted to be with her, and I didn't give a shit what she wanted."
Killer sighed. Silence overtook the room again, tense and foreboding. His friend was thinking, and Kid hoped he had some sort of sage advice to give him before he beat the shit out of his worthless ass.
"Fuck, I told her she had to pick between me and her friends, and that it had better be me," Kid said as he felt his anger boiling beneath the surface again. "The fucking people she owes her whole life to. I told her that I had to come before them."
"You're in too deep," Killer said, a defeated sigh lacing his voice this time. "You're feeling too much. And you don't trust her."
"Of course I trust her," Kid shouted, glaring at his friend.
"If you trusted her, you wouldn't be feeling this level of rage in your jealousy and possessiveness. You'd be able to let her go when she needs it, give her the freedom she deserves. You're still insecure in her feelings for you." Killer's words came out hard, straight to the point, like a swift punch to his gut that took the wind from his lungs. "You went into this relationship by forcing your way, without regard for how Nami really felt, and you knew it. You chose her. She didn't choose you, at least not on her own terms. You've been afraid that eventually she'll see her mistake and find someone else who doesn't push at her walls and emotions the way you did."
Kid released a shuddering breath.
"I can't fix this," he said quietly. He felt his world crumbling around him with that single statement.
Killer sighed again. "Not easily, or quickly."
"Not at all," Kid bit out. "Don't try to give me false hope. I know what I did. I know how I screwed up. She's going to leave me, for good, and I have no right to force her back to me. I broke my promise and hurt her. She deserves better."
"She deserves a choice," Killer said.
Kid stared at his friend with the sharp response. A choice? What choice? There was no choice, only to leave him. He had already tried to make her choose between people she shouldn't have to choose between. Just demanding that of her meant he didn't deserve to be the one she chose. Not now. Not ever.
"You love her, yes?" Killer asked, prompting Kid to think hard about where he was going.
"Yes."
"You'd do anything to have her as yours? Forever?"
"Of course, but there isn't-"
"Let her go," Killer interrupted.
Kid's eyes widened. Those words were another sharp punch to his chest, taking the breath from him as he began to realize what Killer was saying.
"It might not work, and as far as I'm concerned, it shouldn't, not after the hell you've put her through. But if you truly love her, then you have to let her go. And if she loves you, without question, without hesitation, and is free to choose for herself…" Killer trailed off to shrug. "If she comes back to you of her own free will, she'll be yours forever. If she doesn't, then there was no hope from the start, but at least you gave her a chance to find happiness elsewhere. And I know you only want her to be happy."
Another ragged breath escaped his lungs, and Kid rolled to his side to wrap around her pillow. He buried his nose in the material and inhaled what was left of her scent.
"Leave me alone," he muttered.
Killer stood from the bed without argument, only sparing him a consoling pat on his shoulder. A minute later the stereo was back on, drowning out the soft click of the basement door.
Kid wasn't lost anymore. He had a clear path ahead of him.
But he was terrified of taking that first step.
She could feel the tension in her house, growing with each passing day. Her friends refused to leave her alone, some came and went, others camped out in the living room, all of them walked on egg shells.
Robin came over sometime after Kid had left. Nami was still in shock over what had happened. She had no idea what to think, her mind had shut down as she stared at her wrists and watched the red marks fade into faint yellow bruises. She was still sitting on the floor when Robin knocked on the backdoor and let herself in. Apparently she was worried. She had heard parts of the earlier phone call, knew Kid was in a bad mood and Nami was going home to appease him. But when she drove by and didn't see any sign of his bike, she decided to check.
Nami was relieved when Robin showed up, though she didn't show it immediately. Robin barely said more than her name, surprised to find her on the floor with dried tears staining her face. Nami didn't notice her until her arms encircled her and held her tight. She began to sob again with her friend's comfort.
If Robin was angry at Kid for leaving Nami the way he did, she didn't show it. She was cool, calm, perfectly collected. Exactly what Nami needed as her emotions overcame her again. They sat on the floor until Nami's tears dried once more, while Robin ran a soothing hand through her hair and over her back, humming quietly to comfort her.
Once she had calmed, Robin left her to find a box of tissues. She returned with a cold washcloth, along with the Kleenex. Nami blew her nose while her friend helped clean the salt staining her cheeks. The cloth was cool and refreshing, and Nami took it to press to her eyes, easing the ache and swelling from her tears. It took a few shaky breaths before she was able to explain what had happened, and once she did, she nearly began to cry again.
Robin still didn't voice any anger, didn't say any harsh judgments for Kid's behavior. Her friend merely helped her up and took her to bed. She disappeared for a while as Nami changed, the task taking more effort as her body felt heavy and numb, a mixture of her exhaustion and turmoil. Robin returned with a plate of sliced tangerines and a cup of chamomile tea, then slid into bed with Nami, promising to stay the night so she wouldn't be alone.
That had been nice. Nami didn't want to be alone. If she was alone for too long, then she would start thinking about what had happened, and that only made her want to cry all over again. She knew she was going to have to make some decisions. Kid had lost his temper with her, hurt and scared her, and she couldn't let him get away with that kind of behavior. But she didn't know what to do.
Or maybe she was too scared to do what needed to be done.
The next morning, Nami woke to an empty bed and the smell of breakfast wafting up from her kitchen. Robin sat at the dining room table, sipping a cup of coffee. Sanji was at the stove with a terse frown until he saw her walk in. He tried to smile for her, but she could see the strain. Robin had told him, and he was obviously angry, but he would see to her before dealing with Kid.
A few minutes later, the door burst open with a happy shout to announce Luffy and the others. She managed a quiet laugh when they carted in bags of movies and games and liquor. Luffy didn't seem particularly angry, he was too determined to cheer her up. Zoro was as stoic as ever, but she knew he was worried when he gave her a gentle pat on the head as he headed into the kitchen to unload the bag with her wine. Usopp looked solemn, but like Sanji, he tried to smile for her and proclaimed that they would have her laughing by the end of the night. Franky didn't hide his disappointment in the whole ordeal. Nami didn't need the large man wrapping her up in a hug and bursting into angry tears, but she let him have his outburst.
At first she thought it was a great idea to spend the day with her friends. Part of her wanted to be left in solitude, but a bigger part of her wanted to pretend everything was fine. With her friends there, doing everything in their power to make her happy, she thought she might get beyond the worst of her emotions, and then she could look at the situation with a clear, rational mind.
She thought it might work as she enjoyed Sanji's delicious breakfast with her friends. She laughed as Luffy stole off everyone's plate, smacked him upside the head when he tried to take her last tangerine slice, broke up an argument between Zoro and Sanji, and chatted with Robin about a research assignment. It was all so perfectly normal, just the way she wanted things. Then they moved to the living room to spend the afternoon watching movies. Comedy and action were the two main genres they focused on. Nami refused to watch a horror movie, even if Robin said it was a good one. And she didn't think anything romantic would help get her mind off Kid. At first the movies were enough, but eventually Nami found her mind drifting to the night before. It didn't help that one of the movies Franky picked was one she and Kid actually liked watching together. A half an hour into that one, she excused herself, went upstairs, and didn't come down again for the rest of the night.
She curled up in her bed with the angry red dog Kid had won for her and cried by herself until Robin came upstairs. The guys were playing a game downstairs. She could tell they were trying to be quiet as she listened to them shush each other every time one of them grew too loud. Robin asked if she wanted to join, and when she refused, the older woman grabbed a book and slipped into bed with her. She fell asleep on Robin's lap while her friend played with her hair.
She didn't leave her room at all the day after that. Sanji brought her breakfast in bed, complete with a flower from Robin's garden and a flourishing promise to wait on her hand and foot for as long as she desired. Franky left to see to his work for a few hours. Robin brought over her laptop and a stack of papers that needed to be graded, and worked in Nami's office. Zoro came up while Nami was trying to read a book, silently sat down on the floor, and proceeded to take a nap next to her bed. Usopp and Luffy ran back to the other house to gather more supplies, and when they returned, Nami's bed was covered in books and art supplies, and they had the small television she had left behind when she moved out of the house. They perched it on her dresser and Luffy crawled into bed beside her as he flipped through the channels until he found some stupid show that made him laugh.
When she fell asleep that night, Robin was in bed with her, and all her friends had drifted back down to the living room to sleep where they could. Nami still didn't feel any better, but she was glad for the company.
Though she was starting to wonder when she would hear from Kid. With two whole days passed and not a word from him, she almost thought to worry. He was in bad shape when he left. Angry and irrational. That wasn't a good state to be in while riding a motorcycle. But Killer likely would have called if something happened to him, so Nami at least knew Kid was safe. When she realized that, she felt relief for a quick moment before it turned to worry of another kind.
If Kid was okay, why hadn't he called her?
Knowing him, she was certain that he would try to reach out as quickly as possible. She expected him to call with an apology, or show up at her door with demands for another chance before she could even think about ending things.
She wasn't sure if she wanted to break up with him. He had hurt her, but he wasn't in a normal state of mind. Something was wrong, something had been bothering him. She wanted to talk to him, to understand what had pushed him that far, but she was afraid to call him herself. She was confused on what to do. She didn't want to lose him. But she didn't want to see him, either, at least not yet.
She had thought that everything was fine between them. Sure, their lives were hectic and they hadn't had much chance to spend quality time together, but that was going to change with her birthday. Kid had something planned for them, and they would have a chance to be together without anyone else around. She had been looking forward to it, especially thinking about the last time they went away together. Now she had no idea if those plans would happen, she just knew that things were going to change between them after this fight.
For so long she had been thinking of an inevitable end to their relationship. She had never thought it would last. But now that she was on the brink of its possible collapse, she found herself too scared to think of what might come out on the other side. She didn't want to think of a life without Kid in it. He had ingrained himself too much in her world for her to let go. She didn't want to let go.
She didn't know what to do.
"Nami," Luffy said near the end of the third day, her best friend standing in the bedroom door with a somber frown and worry etched in his eyes.
She was still in bed, clinging tight to her stuffed dog. She wasn't crying anymore, just staring at a picture of her and Kid together that sat on her nightstand. She had more on her dresser, mixed with all the photos of her friends and family. There was another in her office, three more on the fridge. He was everywhere in her house. Even the pillow he typically used still smelled like him, not letting her escape him, even in her sleep.
"What is it, Luffy?" Nami asked, her voice hollow and distant.
He didn't answer immediately. His frown tightened a moment, and then he trudged into her room to climb into bed beside her. He sat down with his back to the headboard and crossed his arms over his chest, directing his frown at the wall straight ahead.
"You're still not happy," he finally said. "Am I going to have to beat up Kid to make you happy?"
Nami sighed. Leave it to Luffy to decide that was the only way to fix things for her. "No, that won't make me happy at all."
Luffy huffed. "That's what Usopp said, but nothing else is working."
"We just need some time and space," Nami said through the lump forming in her throat. "Then we can talk and figure out what to do."
"How much time?"
Nami sighed. "I don't know."
Luffy glowered at her, displeased with that answer. The annoyance passed quickly as he watched her bury her face in Boss; his frown turned thoughtful. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really."
"Do you know what you're going to do?"
"Not really."
Luffy grunted and then hummed in thought. "He hurt you."
"He did."
"Did he mean to?"
"No. He'd never hurt me intentionally."
Luffy hummed again. "Are you going to forgive him?"
Nami wasn't sure how to answer that. She wanted to, but she knew she shouldn't, at least not easily. She wanted to believe that he'd never do that again, but Kid was always unpredictable where his temper was concerned, she had worried about it from the start. There was a chance he would do it again if he ever let his anger and possessiveness get the best of him.
She knew he loved her, more than she ever imagined he could. That love might not be enough to come out of this whole… Or maybe it was that love that got them into this mess to begin with. With his jealousy, his love wasn't very healthy for either of them.
But she still wanted to believe the best in him. He had come such a long way over the last year, and so had she. They had come so far, grown so close. She wanted to give him another chance, but…
She curled around her dog with a quiet whimper when she only became more confused and uncertain.
"Nami…" Luffy said, sounding pained and sad, all for her. His hand fell atop her head and she whimpered again as he stroked his fingers through her hair. Before she knew it, his arm was around her shoulders and he had dragged her against his side to hug her. "It'll be okay, Nami."
She fought back her tears as best she could, but failed in the end and buried her face against Luffy's shoulder. He sighed and ran his hand through her hair, letting the room drift into silence only punctuated by her sobs. When she calmed down, he pressed his cheek to the top of her head and took a deep breath.
"Do you love him?" he asked quietly.
She nodded.
"And does he love you?"
She choked back another sob, and nodded.
"Then trust that everything will work out," he said. "It might hurt for a while, but we're all here for you to make it hurt less. And I think Kid's an okay guy. I know he'll do the right thing by you in the end. If he doesn't, then we'll beat him up."
Nami let herself laugh. A painful, empty sound.
She wanted to believe that Kid would make everything right, too. She just wished she knew how.
It took him a couple of days to get the balls to call her. His hand shook as he held his phone and stared at her number, his thumb hovering over the button to dial it. She hadn't tried to contact him and he didn't know what that might mean, but he wasn't going to call her until he was ready to face the inevitable.
Killer stood in the door to his room the whole time, silently watching him fight against the urge to run away from it all. He felt lightheaded and a strange mixture of cold and hot that left his face flushed even as his body shivered. Was this how Nami felt all the time? If it was, it was horrible.
When he finally found the courage to dial her number, he held his breath as he waited for her to answer. He wondered if she would. She had avoided his calls in the past when she was angry or upset or scared. It would hurt like hell if she did it to him again, but at the same time he would be relieved to put it off a little longer. He was afraid to face her. Especially after four days pent up in his room, not sleeping, not eating, just hiding out in his bed with music blasting and realizing there were way too many break up songs out there that made him feel like an angsty teenager every time they came on. His hair was a greasy mess, begging for a shower. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot. He wouldn't admit that he had cried after he realized what he had to do…
But he did. Like the pathetic, love-sick sap he was.
And he would have to face Nami like that, except for the hair. He would drag himself into the shower before he saw her, at the very least. It wouldn't do anything for the bags under his eyes, or the exhaustion sinking deep into his bones, but at least he wouldn't smell like stale sweat and liquor.
He was surprised when Nami picked up just before his call went to voicemail. Her voice was quiet, like a timid mouse shrinking away from danger. Hearing her like that only made him want to hang up and hide himself. Killer still needed to beat him up, too. Maybe he should finally get that out of the way.
He released a shuddering breath and struggled for words. It should be easy to talk to her, but this time it was the hardest thing in the world he would ever have to do.
"You free today?" he asked, just as quiet as her.
She hesitated, and then sighed. "I am."
"Meet me at the park in a half an hour," he said, fidgeting on his bed and digging his fingers into the sheets. "You should probably bring some of your friends. It won't take long."
Nami didn't say anything for a long moment, but then she let out a long breath as ragged and pained as his. She mumbled some agreement, her voice thick and he knew she was fighting back tears. They both knew what was coming.
"See ya soon," he grunted and hung up before he could change his mind, grovel and beg for forgiveness, swear that he would never hurt her again, promise to do anything if it would let him keep her. But he wouldn't do that. Couldn't do that. She deserved better.
"Can you drive?" he asked Killer. He probably shouldn't be behind the wheel of anything with his mental turmoil. He was liable to run himself off the road.
"Of course."
"Thanks," he sighed, and dragged himself out of bed with a groan. "I'm going to take a quick shower. If I'm not out in ten, come get me."
"Understood."
As he expected he would, he lost track of time while standing beneath the hot fall of water. Well, he didn't lose track of time, he just didn't want to leave. Killer was there after ten minutes, on the dot, and ushered him out to get dressed. He would have taken his sweet time with that, too, if it wasn't for his friend handing him clothes that he mindlessly pulled on. He had ceased thinking at that point. It was for the best. If he kept thinking, he would end up changing his mind. So, he let Killer shove him around his bedroom and bathroom and up to the garage. Before he knew it, they were pulling up to the park with only a few minutes to spare.
"You can do this," Killer said as they spotted Nami. She stood on one of the more secluded sidewalks, tucked beneath a tree with Luffy at her side. He could see her fidgeting, wringing her hands, obviously nervous. Her friend wore a reassuring grin when he wasn't making stupid faces in an attempt to cheer her up.
He was glad she brought Straw Hat, even if the idiot ended up punching him for this.
"Nami," he called out as he trudged along the path. He walked slowly with his hands shoved in his pockets, one clutching to a slender box. He didn't want to rush this, even though he knew he had to get it over with. When she turned to face him, he etched every feature of her into his memory and wished her eyes didn't look so vacant. He wanted to remember them shining with happiness in case he never got to see her again.
If not for that, she looked as beautiful as ever. Her long orange hair fluttering in the summer breeze, her cheeks pink with a flush. She wore a cute yellow dress that hugged her curves, and he hated that he would never be able to hold her in his arms again.
"Hey," she said, trying to sound light-hearted. Her smile fell short with the trepidation in her eyes.
He came to a stop a few feet from her. He didn't want to get too close. He might try to touch her, and he had no right to touch her anymore.
They stood in tense silence for agonizingly long minutes. Killer stood back a few feet, and Kid could feel the weight of his friend's gaze urging him on. But he struggled to speak the words, felt them grow thick in his throat until they strangled him. He cleared his throat and shot a look at Luffy who had taken up a defensive position beside her. With the look, though, he pursed his frown and gave him a nod before taking a few steps back, giving them some sense of privacy.
"Can I see your wrists?" he asked, eyeing her hands as she continued to wring them together. She nodded and slowly lifted her hands in front of her. He didn't take them, still afraid to touch her, and eyed the pale skin of her arms. The bruising had faded, but he could still see a few spots where his fingers dug in. The yellow blemishes strengthened his resolve. "I'm sorry."
Nami's breath hitched, and she nodded as she hung her head. She cleared her throat and let out a shaky breath.
"What happened?" she asked at a hush. "Why were you so angry?"
He let his head fall back with a sigh. He didn't want to make excuses, the reasons for his anger didn't matter.
"That fight I got in at work… It was with one of Big Mom's brats. Prick made a big deal about it, got me fired. I was pissed about that. Thought seeing you would make it better, but…" He shrugged. His anger shouldn't be her problem. He shouldn't blame it on her. It was his issue to deal with now, not hers. "Doesn't make any difference. I shouldn't have done that."
She let out another shaky sigh and nodded in agreement. They fell into an awkward silence again.
It was now or never.
"I think…" He paused to take a deep breath, fighting against his need to hold onto her. "I think we should break up."
Nami's head shot up, eyes wide in surprise. He thought she knew why they were meeting, but that look told him she hadn't expected that. For a split second he cursed his decision. If she hadn't expected this, then that meant she was expecting an apology and a chance to forgive him, a chance to set things right. He could keep her.
But then he saw the tears making her eyes glisten and he shuttered away those unreasonable hopes. Even if she thought to forgive him, he didn't deserve it. Not this time. Not yet.
"I thought…" she began, pausing as her voice cracked. He clenched his hands in his pockets and fought the urge to wrap his arms around her. "I thought you said you'd never give me up?"
He chuckled a sad, tired laugh and looked straight down. "Never thought I'd hurt you. I swore I would never hurt you, but I broke that promise." He gestured toward her wrists, and then glanced over her shoulder at Luffy. "And I swore I wouldn't hurt your friends, but I tried to give you an ultimatum, make you choose between us… And if you hadn't come home when you did, with my temper like that… I can't say I wouldn't have hurt any of them when I came to get you."
Nami's head fell with another nod. She chewed on her lip and tried to hold in her emotions. He could read her like an open book, though, and felt her pain pull on his heart. He hated that this was only hurting her more.
He cleared his throat again. "I, uh, got you something… For your birthday…"
She looked up at him with a gasp. "Kid, you don't have to –"
"I told you I got you something, and obviously we can't celebrate your birthday like we planned now, but I can at least give you what I bought you," he huffed, pulling out the velvet box in his pocket. Her eyes widened and she lifted a hesitant hand toward it. "Just take it," he growled. He couldn't stay there any longer, not when all he wanted to do was take everything back and hold onto her forever.
Nami gently took the box from him, and opened it with shaking hands. She sucked in a sharp breath when she saw the gold bracelet complete with four charms – a little golden cat, a cluster of gold and silver coins, a tangerine, and a solid gold heart. Her lips quivered, wanting to smile but unable to as her tears broke free. Her sob was what made him move.
"It's beautiful," she said through a gasped breath, a hand going to clasp over her mouth and hold back another sob as he gave up the fight against touching her one last time. She didn't struggle as he wound his arms around her shoulders and drew her tight against his chest. She shuddered in his hold, another sob making her shake.
His eyes burned as he squeezed them shut and buried his face against her neck. He breathed in her scent until his eyes stung with the pain tearing through his chest.
"Don't cry," he whispered in her ear. She only sobbed harder. "Fuck, I hate this… I hate doing this to you, but I have to." He felt her hands dig into his shirt, holding tight, and he cursed himself again. She didn't want to let go, and neither did he. So he held her tighter. "This is the last thing I ever wanted to do, Nami."
"Then why are you?" she asked with a broken voice that he swore was sharp enough to make his heart shatter.
"You know why. I laid my hands on you. I don't deserve to even beg for your forgiveness, no matter how much I want to. I might be a low-life, piece of shit, but I swore I'd never be like the scum of this world that hurts the people they care most about. I was supposed to protect you, and I hurt you. You can do so much better than me. You can be happier without me trying to dominate your damn life."
"I was happy with you," she argued, yanking on his shirt in a moment of stubborn anger that mixed with her sadness.
"I know… Fuck… I know, and I wish we could have stayed that way, but I went and fucked it up." He squeezed his arms around her and let himself press a kiss to her jaw, sating a selfish need to taste her one last time. "I love you way too much to keep hurting you like this. I need to get my head straight, need to fix my own shit, and maybe then…." He kissed her again. "I don't know… I just know that this is the right thing, at least for you. I gotta let you go before I hurt you again."
Letting go of her was the hardest thing he ever had to do, but he fought his own instincts and slowly unwound his arms from her. She still gripped his shirt. He wanted to let her keep holding onto him, but he knew he had to pry her fingers off of him. As he loosened her hold, he leaned in to kiss her temple, and then her forehead, letting the last linger as he took in another deep breath until his vision blurred.
He sniffed back his tumultuous emotions and glanced at her friend. The silent warnings Luffy held in his gaze earlier were gone, replaced with a sullen frown as he stared at Nami's back. Kid didn't miss the way his fists clenched at his sides, prepared to strike. His concern for his friend outweighed his anger, though, and when he caught Kid's gaze, he nodded a silent understanding and stepped toward them.
Kid released Nami and shoved her at Luffy. He watched her friend grab her in a tight hug and press her face to his chest as she continued to cry. Even knowing that the reason he had to let her go was his overwhelming possessiveness, it didn't quell his irrational need to rip her out of her friend's arms. He hated seeing her in Luffy's arms, hated seeing someone else comfort her grief… Grief he caused her.
"Damn it," he shouted, digging his hands in his hair as he struggled with himself. This hurt way too much, and he hated himself for putting them both through this.
A solid hand clamped on his shoulder, restraining him before he took everything back and ruined Nami's life forever. He let Killer tug him back a step, and then another. With the third step, he jerked around with a growl, putting Nami behind him.
"Damn it," he choked out again.
"I got you, Kid," Killer said quietly as he tossed his arm around his shoulders and pulled him back toward his car. "You did the right thing."
He slumped against his friend, exhausted and numb, and grunted his agreement, as hollow as it was.
"You owe me a good beating when we get home for making her cry," he muttered at the car.
Killer patted him on the back. "I think you've beat yourself up enough... But sure."
He honestly felt so numb, he doubted anything else could hurt more.
Nami watched Kid walk away through a tendril of her hair, blinking away watery tears to see the anguish in the man's posture.
Kid just did the one thing she never thought he would. He let her go. Even though it was obvious he didn't want to, he still did, and she knew it had to have hurt him as much as, if not more than, it hurt her. He ripped out both of their hearts, and she wanted to be angry at him for it, but she knew there was no other choice for them.
They couldn't keep going as they were, not with Kid's temper on a razor's edge all because he couldn't stand to share her with her friends. Someone was going to get hurt again. For Kid to make that decision, though, to set aside his own selfish desires and let her go before it got any worse… If she ever doubted his love for her, she never would again.
And knowing that just made her want to run after him and demand he take her back.
She knew she couldn't. He said he needed to get himself together, to fix his life, and that would take time. Time she would have to give him.
Her view of Kid was cut off as Luffy's hand pressed hard to the back of her head, turning her away again. She clung to her best friend's red shirt and tried to restrain another sob. It escaped when she felt him rest his straw hat on her head. That was enough to make her break down completely.
"Shhhh, it's okay, Nami. Everything will be okay," he reassured, stroking her back.
"How is this okay?" she asked through a broken sob. "This isn't what I wanted. That idiot's always doing the last thing I want him to do."
"But this time he did what you both needed him to do," Luffy said, sounding far wiser than he normally did. She peeked up at him to see that he was staring off over her head, likely watching Kid's broken retreat from her. When he looked down at her, he grinned. "He just wants you happy, even if he has to make you sad first. I believe that he can make it all better again."
She hoped he was right, because right now everything hurt. Her heart felt like it had shriveled up in her chest, and she felt like she would be crying for years. She had been heartbroken in the past, but nothing like this.
"Now come on," Luffy said cheerfully as he released her. She stared in confusion as he turned his back to her and crouched down. He shot her another wide grin over his shoulder and gestured for her to climb on. She barely managed a smile before wrapping her arms around his neck and letting him pull her up onto his back. "I told everyone we're going to hang out at the house tonight. They're all waiting for us. You can stay the night there, but then Robin said you have to leave while we set up for your party."
"Thanks, Luffy," she sighed, nestling against his back. His optimism and cheerfulness was infectious. If he thought everything would turn out fine in the end, then she would do her best to believe in him.
And believe in Kid.
A/N: Seriously, just trust me, okay? I know this hurts, but it's actually majorly positive character development for both of them. Development they need before this turns toxic. Just trust me.
But yeah, this was probably the most painful thing I have ever written (next to the one LawNa thing I wrote where Law dies that's on my tumblr if you haven't read it, lol). I'm very eager to see everyone's reactions to this (even if it's screaming and cursing at me). I listened to 'In The End' on repeat for this chapter, thus why I titled it the way I did. Wrote the whole thing in one day because it just hurt so much I had to get it over with. We just gotta bear with the pain for a few more chapters.
And now I'm gonna cry and write something more lighthearted... like Viking drama, lol.