Chapter 36

I don't own anything

"There we go," I whispered to myself as I screwed in the last knob onto the cabinets. Stepping back, I smiled at our new kitchen. Paul and I spent our whole week off fixing up the house in hopes that we could move in the following weekend. He was finishing the painting in the nursery while I removed screwed in black knobs onto all of the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen.

The first few days, I continued to read to Paul while he painted the rooms in the house. By Wednesday, he was finally comfortable enough for me to go to another room to start fixing some of the broken items and moving our stuff into the new place.

"Hey, Paul," I called down the hallway. "What's next on the list?" I waited and frowned when I got no response.

Walking down the hall, I checked every room before stopping in the nursery. "Hey-" My words caught in my throat at I looked down at my sleeping fiancé. He was sprawled out next to the fully assembled crib fast asleep. I studied his face as he slept. His eyes were sunken in and his mouth had formed a pout from whatever he was dreaming about.

I sighed and shook my head. I knew he hadn't been sleeping well since the vampire incident and he must have been exhausted. Looking around the room, my frown turned. He did a great job with the paint. Grey and navy blue that Nikki picked out separated by a line of white. The crib, which was in a box this morning, was sitting upright and ready to be filled with a baby.

The floor creaked as I moved out of the room and Paul shot up.

I winced as his eyes wildly moved around the room, landing on me. "What happened? Are you okay?"

I chuckled and moved back towards him. "I'm fine, you fell asleep."

Paul grimaced. "I fell asleep? I need to stay up, I need to keep you-"

"If you say the word safe, I'm going to scream," I raised my eyebrow at him. "I am as safe as ever. I just wanted to know what my next job was."

His eyes scanned my body, double-checking that nothing had happened in the short time he was sleeping before he relaxed. "You can start moving the dishes into the kitchen. I will grab them from the truck."

Paul kept his eyes on my as he walked by. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into me, hugging him close.

"When was the last time you slept?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

He shrugged and smiled brightly down at me, his eyes trying to hide his exhaustion. "Don't worry about me, Rach. As long as you're okay, I'm great." He stepped away from me towards the door.

"Well, I am worried about you." I stretched up on my toes and looked him in the eye. "When?"

He scratched his head and looked up at the ceiling. "Saturday night."

"What?" I shouted, startling Paul. "Today is Wednesday! What have you been doing at night?"

He frowned again, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm sorry, Rach. I can't seem to let my guard down. Sunday was the worst day of my life. I thought I lost you forever. Every time I close my eyes, I see him staring down at you. It makes my blood boil. Watching you sleep makes it easier."

His hands started shaking as he explained everything to me and I grabbed them, pulling them to my face. "Look at me, I am fine. Better than fine. You need to sleep, Paul."

I pulled his hand towards the hall and down to his old room. On Monday, I sat in the room reading the newspaper as he fixed the bed and door.

"Lay down," I commanded, pointing to the bed.

Paul grinned. "Yes, ma'am," he cheeked.

I shook my head. "No way, we are taking a break. The baby is tired and so is his daddy," I laid down on my side, pointing to the space next to me.

"I'm fine, Rachel," he crossed his arms. "Let's finish off the kitchen, then we can go home and rest."

I huffed and sat up. "Fine, whatever," I pushed myself up, ignoring Paul's hands offering to help me.

I didn't even make it to the hallway before Paul jumped in front of me. "Wait, don't be mad, Rach. I hate when you're mad."

"Why is it that it's fine for you to stay up all night worrying about me but the second I worry about you, you brush it off like it's nothing. What if I hadn't slept in three days, Paul? What would you say to me?" I looked up at him expectantly.

"I, I don't know, Rach. It's different for me," he shrugged and my eyebrows shot up.

"Different for you? You know, I was just frustrated before. Now I'm mad," I moved around him. "I need some space," I interrupted as he tried to pull me back towards him.

I heard him fall back onto the bed as I walked down the hall and out the door. I plopped down on the wooden steps that we sanded down to remove the chipping paint the morning before and took a handful of deep breaths. I pulled my coat around my shoulders, the snow had let up and it was starting to get warmer outside.

Five minutes later, I heard the door open and felt Paul sit on the steps next to me.

"I'm sorry," he whimpered. "Please don't be mad at me."

I turned and leaned on the railing to look at him. "I'm still mad at you," I said, frowning. "How is it different for you to worry about me than it is for me to worry about you? Look in a mirror, Paul. You look terrible. Your eyes have dark circles under them, you're never smiling anymore. You're constantly on edge. I'm worried! And now you tell me you haven't slept in days! You worry about me when I forget to wear a long-sleeved shirt under my jacket, but I'm not supposed to worry about you when you're falling apart?"

He frowned and leaned against the railing opposite from me. "I don't know, Rachel. I'm sorry. I didn't know you would be as worried as you are about a couple of nights sleep."

"It's not just that, Paul. I can't go to the bathroom without you standing next to the door. You leave all the doors open in the house so that if I'm not in eyesight, you can creep on me with your hearing. We only have a couple more days off, Paul. Then we both have to go back to work. Are you ready for that?"

He quickly shook his head. "I'm getting bette-"

"No you're not." I sighed, shaking my head before looking back up at him.

"I think you should go get Nikki from school today by yourself and I will stay here to finish putting dishes away."

"No way."

"Yes. We need to start weaning off of each other. We need to start spending a bit of time apart so that you can adjust to being normal again."

"I can't," he whispered. "Please don't make me."

"You can. And you will. Nikki gets done with school in an hour. I'm fine with sitting here with you until then but then you have to go get her. By yourself," I scooted over and leaned against his arm. "I don't like it either, but we have to get past this."

"I'm not happy that you're making me do this," he clasped his shaking hands together, for once leaning away from me. My heart ached as he sat up. "I just need more time. I still feel like it's different for me, Rach. You're everything. And even being apart for fifteen minutes is going to be painful after what happened on Sunday. When I imprinted on you, my whole life focus changed. I let a vampire too close to you and now I have to live with that."

I shook my head, my heart falling. "How many times have I told you that imprinting works both ways. I'm not just your soul mate, Paul. You're mine too. When you hurt, I hurt. And my heart is aching right now. I'm watching the man I love waste away. You've been a robot all week! When are you going to understand that I love you just as much as you love me?" I stood up and backed into the house. "Go get, Nikki. I'm done fighting with you about this."

I dropped the keys in his hand. He opened his mouth to talk but I shook my head. "You're so worried about keeping me safe, Paul. But right now, I don't need a security guard. I need my fiancé. I need goofy, fun and happy. I feel like there has been a grey cloud over us all week. Even sex has been sad! I'm done hiding in this house. I want to be happy again, Paul."

"You're not happy?" Paul gawked at me, standing in the doorway.

I frowned. "Watching you walk around like a zombie? No, that doesn't make me happy." I felt my heart breaking as he stared at me, wide eyed. "For me to be happy, you need to be happy too. And you're too busy being protective to even think about joking around with me or playing with your sister. We miss you. Three days is too long to be without our Paul."

"I- I didn't realize," his voice faded off and he pulled his hands up to pull on his hair. "I'm sorry, Rachel."

"I'm sorry too. Go get your sister. She's misses you too," I turned away from him. "I love you, Paul, so much."

Paul leaned in and kissed my cheek. "I love you too, Rach," he whispered before shutting the door behind him.

I looked through the window to watch the truck leave before shaking my head. My whole body ached with the weight of the conversation, but he needed to know how I felt. I missed how our family was. This week had been meant for us to get back to normal, but it felt like it pulled us down.

I stood up and walked down the hall, peering into each room. They were all painted and ready for us to move in. Paul did a great job fixing everything up. The house truly looked like a different place, but I frowned thinking about how it got here. We were supposed to have fun with this, but instead we made gloomy memories.

Stopping in the nursery, I ran my hands over my stomach. "Your Daddy loves us, kiddo. We'll get through this, I know it."

Almost an hour later, I heard the truck door slam and Nikki burst into the house, dropping three bags of popped popcorn on the counter.

"Rachel, we have a surprise for you!" she jumped with excitement, stopping to kiss my stomach.

Paul walked in a few seconds later, his hands full of blankets and pillows.

"What's going on?" I asked, looking up at him as he dropped the armload onto the floor of the living room.

He kissed my softly on the lips before grinning at me. "We stopped at the apartment for some supplies." He kissed me again before heading back outside to the truck.

Nikki bounced down the hallway, popping into every room on the way to the nursery. "Oh, Paulie, I love his room! When can we move everything else in?"

Paul walked back in from outside holding the television and a bag of DVDs. "We thought we could camp out here tonight. Nikki thought it might be, uh, fun." He explained, his cheeks turning red.

I smiled, my white teeth flashing up at him, and wrapped my arms around him. "I think that sounds great, Paul."

His breath caught and he frowned slightly. "That's the first time you've really smiled all week. Man, I'm an idiot," he scolded himself, pulling me into his chest. "I'm sorry, Rach."

"It seems like you're coming around," I poked his side, causing him to chuckle.

"Paulie, you need to get the couch before it rains," Nikki looked out the window, pointing at the clouds.

My jaw dropped. "You brought our couch?"

"Did you think I would let my seven months pregnant fiancée sleep on the floor?" Paul scoffed jokingly. "Of course, I brought the couch." He ruffled Nikki's hair before running back outside to retrieve the large piece of furniture.

"I brought some games too! Uno and Yahtzee! This is going to be so much fun!" Nikki continued to hop around the room. "I love all the new walls, Rachel! It looks so nice in here!"

Paul brought the couch in and easily placed it in the middle of the room. "We can move it to the right spot when we get everything else in." He looked over at me and gave me a small smile. "What do ya think, Rach?"

"I think that this all makes me very happy," I looked up to see him sag in relief.

Paul sat on the floor, leaning against the couch, and pulled my back into his chest. I sat comfortably between his legs as Nikki dealt the card for Uno. We played games and watched movies until Nikki passed out at 11, quite a bit late for a school night but I let it slide. We needed to have this night together.

"Thank you, Paul," I whispered, leaning back into him. "This was really fun."

"When you said that you weren't happy, my heart stopped," Paul ran his hands over my stomach. "I was so concerned with your physical well-being that I didn't think about anything else. I'm so sorry, Rachel. But seeing you tonight, smiling and laughing-" he trailed off. "That's what I needed. I think that I wasn't able to come to my senses until you were both safe and happy."

"And you've come to your senses now?" I asked, looking up at him.

"I think I'm getting there," he sighed, happily, before letting out a long yawn. "Good night, Rachel. I love you."

I closed my eyes and leaned back, feeling more comfortable than I had in days. "Love you too, Paul."

Maybe one more chapter left! Or two.. one and an epilogue? We'll see! I'm this took a week to get out! When I work late, I can't write Next week I'm early again so hopefully, I can finish this up! There may be a few side story one-shot deals, but we will see. Leave a review if you like what you're seeing. Not just for my story, for everyone! It makes a writers day when they get that email saying someone left a review