So I've decided. If there is a God, he likes to crap in my face. If we'd have a conversation before I was born it probably would have gone something like this:
"Gray, you're going to be born to two parents who love you and will give you a warm home. But then, I'm going to have a demon of Zeref kill them right in front of you, scarring you for life when you're just a kid. But I'm nice. You'll get to have Master Ur as your first master who will teach you Ice-Make magic, which will change your life forever, and in a good way. Oh, but wait, she'll die protecting you and that jerkface Lyon, but it will be all your fault, because it is all your fault, asshole. Then you'll join a guild, but you'll continually fight with that flame for brains Natsu Dragneel, who, like most of the people you know will drive you nuts. Then Lyon will hate you, and try to kill you, and if that wasn't bad enough, then guess what, you end up falling in love with him, because it's fun for me to freak you out like that. And then, after almost dying fighting Ultear, Hades and Acnologia, you'll come home only to find that everyone is seven years older, different and confusing, and then you'll witness Lyon flirting with Juvia right in front of you. Yes, you are my personal toilet bowl, Gray Fullbuster."
And that is what he would have said. Okay, so I don't think God needs toilets, but that's not the point here.
It's Lyon, who hasn't seen me in seven years, and, okay, it's been a few days for me, but I know it's been seven years for him, because Alexa has only been repeating this to me over and over since she got back from whatever concert she was just at. And speaking of Alexa, how is it fair that she's 20? She's not only older than me which is just wrong, but she's kind of gorgeous. Objectively speaking, of course. How can I be the honorary big brother when I'm the younger one now? And I don't really need a big sister. It was bad enough having a self-appointed
'big brother.'
Which brings me back to Lyon. He must have seen Alexa and I, but he just walks right past us, and flirts with Juvia, and I'm thinking, well good luck there, because you're sounding like a total creep, and she likes me. And for once, I'm feeling pretty good about that, because, take that, jerk. And I'm also thinking, hello, you can't even talk to me? I'm officially, okay, unofficially, your boyfriend, and aren't I worth anything to you at all?
And right when I was finally cool with the whole thing, because it was kind of freaky suddenly being attracted to a guy, let alone someone like Lyon, but I had this revelation right after we beat Hades, that if I can survive that, then dating a guy is nothing. And now it's literally nothing, because it's clear he's already broken up with me in his head.
I'll be only a matter of minutes before he remembers I exist, and how he needs to have that conversation with me. You know, 'it's not you, it's me,' or some other crap he'll come up with.
And here we are.
"Gray. We need to talk."
And we're talking. On the roof. Not sure why we're on the roof, but who cares. We're talking but not really talking about what really needs to be talked about. He's asking me about what happened and how happy he is I'm alive. Great, so if you're so happy I'm alive why were you flirting with somebody else? Okay. I get that it's been seven years for you but at least talk to me first.
After sitting for maybe half an hour, we've gone back to my apartment, presumably so he can tell me the serious crap, and I'm a tough guy. I don't cry, so why am I feeling like I'm going to? This isn't me. Well, dating Lyon wasn't me either, yet it felt so good. At least it did when random people weren't flirting with him, and he'd let them, even though I was right there watching. Okay, so a lot of the time I wanted to kill him, but I loved him. I still love him. I want him with me, being how we used to be only seven freaking days ago.
Instead, he's in full on patronizing mode, because he's now eight years older than me. Oh, lucky me. I get to bask in the radiance of his brilliance.
And finally, we're having the conversation, and I don't know why I'm even trying, but I'm arguing with him.
"I know it's going to be difficult for you, but I can't go back to how we used to be."
"But I don't understand. Why can't we be together? We were good together." I sound so idiotic and wretched, but I can't help myself.
"Gray. It's been seven years." I know. I've only been told this a hundred times now.
"I know that, but you're not seeing anyone are you?" Is that the problem? Wait, it can't be. Why would he have been flirting with Juvia?
"No. I'm not, but a lot of things have happened since we were together." Were together. I'm merely a part of his past.
"But don't you love me?" I'm cringing, because this sounds pathetic even to me.
"I care for you very much. I hope we can stay friends. Part of me would love to start over again like nothing happened, but seven years happened, Gray. I can't just ignore it." He's looking at me with this concerned sad face, and I can't stand it.
"Okay, so go."
"I think we need to talk this out some more; find closure." Lyon needs a translator. He didn't used to say things like 'talk this out' or 'find closure.' Well, the door is right there. That's what I call closure.
"I don't want to talk to you, Lyon. Just go. Leave me alone."
"But-"
"JUST GO!" Why does it take me yelling for him to listen to me? He's a jerk. A complete jerk. He probably waited one week after we disappeared before he started looking for someone else to date. He never really wanted me. This whole relationship was a joke to him.
He's finally gone at least, but not until he gives me another sad look, which makes me want to throw something at him.
And then Alexa is here. Well, we share the apartment, so of course. That's another thing. How did she keep everything in my room the same for seven years? I think it was dustier when I was taking care of it. Did she clean? And why didn't she take my room? It's a lot bigger than hers. That's what I would have done. No. I would have packed my stuff in boxes and gotten a smaller apartment. It would have saved her a lot of money.
Although maybe money isn't such an issue for her. Before Alexa showed up and shocked the hell out of me Bisca told me that for most of this time she's been making a ton of money as a performer; she gives at least half of her earnings to the guild, and she's the main reason we even have a guild hall.
I don't recognize this Alexa. She's just… different. She seems nice and friendly, but hard edged somehow, and foreign. I half expect her to speak a different language when she opens her mouth. And it's also jarring. In my head she's still an innocent naïve kid who would like me not to swear so much or do the pda with Lyon. Well, she won't have to worry about that anymore at least.
She said she was so happy to see me, and cried about how she missed me, but then it's like she's annoyed at me also, and how many times is she going to remind me that it's been seven years? It's not like I'm reminding her it's been only days for us Tenrou people. I clearly remember saying goodbye to Alexa before I left Magnolia and that last night in Hargeon with Lyon, and it's not because I have a good memory. It's because it just happened.
I'm lying down in my room with the door closed and avoiding her. I have this desire to find a picture of Lyon and throw darts at it, but I can't find the dartboard, and the only picture I have of him is one of us and I'm just looking at it thinking how I want him, and wanting not to want him anymore. I wish this had an off switch. It's all so ironic, not to mention humiliating, that I had to resort to begging him to stay with me.
It's ridiculous. Not even five days ago we were in Hargeon. I had bought a silver button-down shirt, which I had gotten just for him, because that's what you do when you're dating someone, even if it's an idiot like Lyon. We were watching the boats come in and out, and he was reciting his poetry to me. I guess that's one good thing about this. I no longer need to listen to his nauseating poetry and pretend to like it.
I was fine with it though, and this weird obsession he had with me wearing v-necks and partially opened button-down shirts. He went on and on about how it was sexier because you just see a bit of skin, so I bought that stupid shirt, even though it's not my usual style. I was fine with that, because when you date someone it's a package deal isn't it, and I wanted to do things for him. Like buying that cheese pastry he likes that they don't have in Margaret Town and bringing it with me to Hargeon or letting him decide where we'd go almost every time we met. He had this annoying need to control everything we did except of the bedroom where he wanted to call me Master Gray and get punished. But if I ever wanted to decide things any other time it was a very different story.
And today he was flirting with Juvia? Why am I missing this jerk again?
I need to find that dartboard.
No. What I need is to get Lyon out of my system for good.
I know. I'll treat Alexa to dinner and then we'll go to a club and I'll find a woman to spend the night with. Someone who looks and acts nothing like Lyon.
I've added in Gray as an alternating narrator. I hope I've managed to make it in character. At first, I thought I'd keep it just Alexa as the first two parts are very much really centered on her, but I had fun adding Gray in. It's probably bad to admit this, but I really enjoyed writing the beginning especially "You are my personal toilet bowl, Gray Fullbuster."