"Then cry," Fiyero whispered. "No one will judge you here."
--
Chapter Thirty-Six: The Loss of Love Unattained
"Elphaba," Fiyero whispered as he held the green girl tightly against his chest. "There's something I have to say."
"Don't talk." Elphaba closed her eyes, burying herself even further underneath Fiyero's bedding to try and warm herself.
"I have to–"
"Just for a minute," Elphaba whispered. "Please."
Fiyero nodded and then fell silent. There were no words spoken. Just closeness, warmth, trust, and a deep understanding. Which is why Elphaba wanted to take in the moment hungrily, trying to keep every detail fresh in her mind. She knew that as soon as Fiyero opened his mouth to speak again the moment would be lost to them.
Lost forever.
"You can talk now," Elphaba muttered. She knew what Fiyero wanted to say and she knew that his words would crush this closeness they had shared for the last day or so.
"I need you to know," Fiyero said. "I… I need you to understand that this relationship… this friendship… is just that. A friendship. I love you… but just not in that sense. I want to protect you. I want to help you. I want to see you heal. I love you like… like you were my sister."
"I know."
"But you don't feel that way about me, do you?"
Elphaba shook her head slightly. "I love you Fiyero. In that sense."
"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to lead you on like this."
"You're not."
"We're lying, together, in my bed. If that isn't leading someone on then I don't know what is."
Elphaba shuddered, a shiver crawling up her spine. "I know your intentions Fiyero. I know you love Galinda. I take all your actions as nothing more than that of a friend. I pretend sometimes… pretend you love me back. But that is nothing more than a lie and I know that."
"You shouldn't delude yourself like that." Fiyero pulled the blanket tighter around Elphaba as he noticed her shivering was getting worse.
"I've spent my whole life deluding myself in to thinking I was someone else… in some other place. Why should I change that now?"
"Because this is love we're playing with. And… and I don't want to accidentally break your heart."
"Don't worry… you already have."
--
Author's Note: This is the end of the three-chapters-that-probably-should-have-just-been-one-chapter thingy that I probably just confused you all with. Now on to the next chapters where I vaguely hint at a proper timeline because I really don't have any clue what the timeline truly is in this story since I suck at timing and/or pacing my writing properly. Go me?