A/N: Yes, James is being a jackass, to be blunt. But this is exactly what he did to Riley and Sirius and unfortunately, this time, it's targeted towards Lily because she just so happens to be the one he cares the most about. They're still on edge during this chapter, but things WILL get better between them! Just be patient! For those of you who want more Sirius/Riley action, it'll come back again! Just not necessarily anytime soon. They both need their time apart in order to realize they need each other. Patience is a virtue for a reason!
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling might be my hero but I am definitely no hero. Which obviously means I'm no J.K. Rowling.
Kisses on the Balcony
By ByeByeBirdie
Chapter 36: Of Mice, Punches, & Plans
"Oh, you're exaggerating!" Sirius' voice could have been heard down the hallway. "I was never all that bad. It was always James who didn't seem to know to warn us when he was going to be with a girl. At least I gave you a heads up when I was going to up here. How many times did we unfortunately walk in on him and Nikki Ventura?"
Remus made a face. "Oh yeah. I had blocked that out." He shuddered. "But thank you for reminding me."
Sirius grinned, stifling a yawn. It was late but they had somehow gotten into a discussion about their tactics with girls. Peter was the only one with his curtain closed, trying to actually fall asleep. "You're not so innocent yourself, Remus."
Remus glanced up from Peter's Astronomy essay which he was willingly editing and lifted an eyebrow. "What?"
"Just last week, I walked in on you and Jillian," Sirius pointed out.
Remus snorted. "We were lying in bed talking and both fully-clothed. In fact, I believe your exact words were 'god, you two must be the most boring couple ever.'"
Sirius chuckled. "Oh, right. That was funny."
"Jillian didn't seem to think so."
Peter's laugh was heard from his own bed and he threw back his curtain to grin at the both of them. "That was when she threw her shoe at him, wasn't it?"
Remus joined in with the laughter. "And hit him square in the chest."
There was a soft knock on the door.
"Come in!" Remus cried out at the same time that Sirius was scowling.
"I did not appreciate that. I still have a bruise!" Sirius whined, rubbing at his chest with a sad puppy-dog face.
James opened the door and entered the room.
"Eh, I enjoyed it," Remus laughed at Sirius.
"I didn't—whoa, what's wrong, James?" Sirius asked when he noticed the ashen look of horror on his best friend's face.
"Are you okay?" Peter asked cautiously.
James didn't respond. He continued to stand in the doorway motionless as he tried to wrap his head around the conversation he had just shared with Lily.
"James?" Remus asked. "What's going on?"
He slowly moved to his bed and dropped down on to it with a huge sigh. He turned his back to his friends and faced the stone wall, the urge to cry suddenly washing over him. "I'm staying here tonight."
"We see that," Sirius spoke dryly. "You want to tell us why?"
"No," James said curtly.
"Let me guess," Remus responded with a sigh. "Something to do with Lily?"
James didn't reply. That was a 'yes' in Remus' eyes.
"What did you do now?" Remus remarked irritably.
James whirled around and glared at his friend. "What makes you think I did something?"
Remus shared a hesitant glimpse with his other two friends, who were both looking rather concerned at James' state. Remus finally said, "Because you haven't exactly been the best boyfriend to her lately."
"And she hasn't exactly been the best girlfriend," James argued.
"Because you're not letting her be."
"Why the hell are you on her side?"
"I'm not," Remus said sincerely, narrowing his eyes. "Actually, I'm on your side."
He rolled his eyes. "Well you might want to pick a side soon because I have a feeling we'll be breaking up any day now."
"WHAT!?"
Remus', Sirius', and Peter's earth-shattering screams filled the room and caused James to cringe.
"Ow!" James complained, throwing his hands to his ears. "I would like to keep my eardrums, thank you very much!" He winced and rubbed his ears.
"Then warn us before you tell us something like that," Sirius snapped, his eyebrows knitting in shock.
There was a reverberating sound of footsteps coming from the staircase right outside their bedroom. Before they knew it, a bunch of the younger Gryffindor boys, clad in their pajamas, reached their landing and thrust open their door. The Marauders all turned to gaze at them irritably at the interruption. "What the hell?" Grant asked angrily. "Some of us are trying to sleep, y'know!"
James rolled his eyes. "Not my fault. I wasn't the one who screamed."
"Well, then who did?"
Remus whistled and looked off in a different direction, faking innocence, while Sirius slunk under his covers guiltily. Peter quickly threw the curtains around his bed.
"Smooth, guys. Very smooth," James murmured, rolling his eyes.
"I think the question we really want to ask is why did the three pretending to hide scream?" Drew asked curiously.
Panic seeped into James' expression. "Uh…a mouse."
All of the guys who were crowded on the landing, about seven of them, all burst out into laughter.
"Wait just a minute!" Sirius protested. "No Black is gonna be scared over a puny little mouse!"
"Sirius, there's a mouse on your bed," James said casually.
"EEK! WHERE!?" he shrieked, jumping out of his bed immediately.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah, clearly mice don't freak you out."
"Hey, you screamed about the…uh…" He glanced over at James and back to Remus, "the mouse, too."
Remus scrunched up his nose. "There was no mouse, you idiot!"
"Then what was the screaming all about?" Randy Cattano asked.
"Oh, my mistake. It was a rat," James covered up, giving Remus a warning look.
Remus whimpered. "I swear if this gets back to Jillian," he mumbled under his breath.
"You guys can go now," Sirius suggested. He quickly climbed out of bed and shooed them away quickly. "Have a nice night!" He slammed the door in their faces, ignoring their protests and questions, before turning back to James. "Can we get back to the real issue here?"
James looked down at the ground awkwardly.
"So, why did you say you will be breaking up?" Remus asked curiously. "As in not certain and in future tense?"
He let out a frustrated sigh. "It doesn't matter. I-I don't really want to talk about this," he admitted, swallowing hard. "I just came here to go to sleep."
"And to avoid Lily, no doubt," Sirius muttered, rolling his eyes.
"Good night, Sirius," James growled, quickly shutting the hangings to his bed and hoping his friends could take the hint.
They couldn't.
"James Potter, you are being such a selfish, stubborn prick, y'know that?" Remus snapped.
There was a long pause from James' bed before he opened the hangings and glared at his friend. "Excuse me?" he spoke coolly.
Remus sighed, hanging his head regretfully. "Do you think that perhaps this all may just be a way for you to continue avoiding the unfortunate circumstances in your life right now?"
James lifted his head from his hands and raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"
Remus rolled his eyes. "Making Lily feel bad by avoiding her and shutting her out is your way of avoiding your own feelings about your brother's death. And by breaking up, it would be another way for you to avoid your feelings over Brite's death because you'd have those unfortunate feelings to focus on instead. This is all just your way of trying to get out of feeling anything over what happened to your brother."
James cringed at the sound of Brite's name. "We haven't broken up," he said dryly.
"Yet," Peter muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes.
James glared at him. He hadn't planned on telling his friends about the situation between him and Lily and this was why. They didn't understand. They couldn't understand. Unless they were in his head and heart, they couldn't possibly comprehend the crippling pain taking over his entire body.
"But here's the thing, Prongs, and I know you already know this even if you don't want to admit it," Remus continued with a curt shrug, "No matter what else is going on in your life. No matter what else you are attempting to focus on. No matter what else you're feeling anxious or annoyed or upset about. None of that changes what happened to your brother and none of it changes how you feel about it. It's always going to be there until you actually deal with it."
"I am so bloody tired of everyone telling me to just deal with it," James growled through gritted teeth. "You don't know what I'm dealing with or how I'm dealing with it so just back off."
"Maybe I don't but Lily does," Remus pointed out almost immediately, sitting upright on his bed. "Because she's been there. And that's exactly why you've been avoiding her. Because if anyone could understand what you're feeling, it's her. Only you don't want anyone to understand because the moment you deal with it, it becomes real."
James tensed up. "It already is real," he drawled, the words lifeless on his tongue. "He's gone. I've accepted it. And I've moved on."
"Do you really think that just telling yourself you've accepted it is actually accepting it?" Sirius finally chimed in, shaking his head. He knew all about pretending to accept the truth when in reality, one's heart was still holding out hope. "Because it's not. It's actually called denying it."
"Real insightful, Padfoot," James spoke dryly, rolling his eyes. "But let me ask you this: if your brother died today, would you be whining about your feelings?"
The room grew grave at the accusatory implication in James' tone. "Are you seriously trying to compare your family to mine, Potter?" Sirius replied coolly.
"I'm seriously trying to get you guys to shut up about Brite."
"Gee, if that's what you said to Lily-bean, it's no wonder she might break up with you."
James scowled. "This isn't all my fault, y'know! We just can't manage to meet each other halfway. She has her beliefs and I have mine and…for the past couple of days, we haven't said one civil word to each other. Every time we've been in each others' company, we would argue. And we couldn't come up with a solution. Until now. This could be our solution."
"Your solution is to possibly break up with the girl who you've fancied since day one here at Hogwarts?" Sirius snorted, shaking his head. "I'm thinking your solution sucks."
"Thanks man," James said dryly, glaring at him.
Sirius shrugged impassively.
"I'm done talking about this," James muttered, shaking his head. "You guys don't understand. You weren't there. You're not Lily and me. This is…is probably for the best. So just…stop asking questions and commenting on my choices because I don't want to discuss it any longer!"
"Oh, that's a surprise," Remus retorted, rolling his eyes.
James' glare intensified. "Why don't you stop being so passive and sarcastic and just tell me whatever it is you want to say to me."
He glanced curiously at Sirius and Peter who simply shrugged. Remus frowned, turning back to face his angry friend. "James, you don't need to be this strong, resilient guy all the time," he sighed. "Your brother died. You can be vulnerable and you can be sad. No one would ever hold that against you."
"Bloody hell, I'm fine," James said through gritted teeth.
"YOU'RE NOT FINE! Stop holding everything in!"
"You're beginning to sound like Lily."
"Good!" Remus barked. "Because she seems to be the only one willing to stand up to you right now!"
"Remus," Sirius interrupted softly.
Remus shook his head. "No," he snapped, glaring at Sirius. "I think that James deserves to know what a self-righteous prat he's been. If you two break up, James, you have to know that you would be at fault there. You'd have no one to blame but yourself."
James placed his head in his hands, groaning inwardly. "Now I know that I really didn't come here to get insulted by my friends."
"STOP BEING SO PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE!" Remus shouted.
"Why the hell are you yelling at me!?" James barked.
"Because talking to you in a calm, civilized voice hasn't seemed to work thus far!" Remus growled, crossing his arms bitterly. "You are avoiding Lily and shutting her out. You are acting like she doesn't matter. You are showing her in every way possible that you don't want her or need her! But truth is, you know that you need her right now. But you don't want to have to need her because you don't want to have to care."
"I'm always going to need her, Moony," he muttered. "But that doesn't mean I want her looking over my shoulder every five seconds!"
"Gee, what a terrible girlfriend you got that caring for your well-being."
"Merlin, and you're calling me passive-aggressive?" James muttered irritably. "You don't know what you're babbling about, Remus. You don't know what's going through my mind so don't pretend like you do."
"Okay, guys, why don't you calm-" Sirius said anxiously.
"I'm not trying to pretend like I know what's going through your mind. I don't know what's going through your mind because you refuse to tell anyone what's going through your mind!" Remus continued, his anger getting the better of him as he watched his friend nearly self-destruct. "I'm just telling you that all Lily can be accused of here is caring for you!"
James jumped off his bed and headed towards the door. "I take it back. I'm not staying here tonight," he growled.
Remus was a step ahead of him. He jumped in front of the door, blocking James in. "Stop avoiding everything."
"Get out of my way, Lupin," James barked, his eyes blazing with rage.
"Not until you admit that you're upset and angry and confused about your brother's death. Not until you admit that you've been pushing Lily away as a way of making yourself feel better. Now until you admit that-"
"I'm not going to admit anything!"
"Well, then I guess you are sleeping here tonight," Remus smirked.
"Move, Remus," James growled.
"No."
"Uh, Remus?" Sirius spoke up. "Maybe you should mo-"
"NO!" Remus said. "James is being a complete idiot. You're not willing to open up to Lily. You're not willing to open up to Dezzy. So until you start opening up and talking about something, you're stuck here!" Remus snapped. "Your brother is dead, James. Why are you so determined to deny-"
James slammed his fist into Remus' face before he could finish his sentence. Remus stumbled backwards with a gasp as Sirius and Peter jumped up in horror. "James!" Sirius gasped, horrified. "What the hell!?"
James stood there, horrified, before slowly shaking his head in disbelief. "I-I don't know why I did that."
Remus held his throbbing left cheek as he stared up at James in awe. He put down his hand and James winced. A bruise was already forming. "Good job," Remus said, a smile on his face, confusing them all. "Hit me again if you need to."
"Huh?"
"It got you to relieve some of those built-up emotions, didn't it?"
James didn't respond.
"You're frustrated and upset and angry and confused and hurt about losing your brother," Remus said calmly. "You don't want to talk about it? Fine. But maybe hitting something actually helps."
James, again, remained silent.
"Okay, this is painful, so if you don't plan on hitting me again, I'm going to go run cold water over my cheek." Remus smiled warily at his friend before retreating to the bathroom.
"Um, if you do plan on hitting something again, can you warn me so I can be far away from you?" Peter snickered. "I must not be as good a friend as Remus is."
James couldn't help but crack a smile. "I'm not going to hit anyone." He slowly walked over to the bathroom and perched in the doorway, watching as Remus ran a towel under the sink. "I'm really sorry, Moony."
"Don't be," he said, shrugging. "Sometimes if words aren't going to do the trick, punching something might."
James smiled lopsidedly. "It kinda did."
Remus glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, sensing a slight weight being lifted off his friend's shoulders. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."
"I probably deserved it," James said with a shrug.
"So, we're good?"
"We always were, Moony."
Eventually, all four of them fell into their beds, laughing and reenacting the punch James threw at Remus earlier that night. James said his good nights to his friends before rolling over and staring at the wall. He didn't want to talk about Brite anymore. He didn't want to talk about Lily anymore. He didn't want to talk about his frustrations. He didn't want to talk at all.
A couple more minutes passed before Sirius' voice bellowed through the silence once again. "You know what might help to vent some frustration besides punching your friends?"
James peeked his head over his shoulder. "What?"
"Two words: strip club."
Lily slid into the empty seat beside her two friends, only minutes after scanning the Great Hall to make sure James wasn't around. She was going to avoid him as best as she could after the conversation they shared. A conversation that had ended with no resolution. A conversation that had Lily wondering if James was even her boyfriend anymore.
"Hey," she murmured, pouring herself a tall glass of milk.
"You okay, Lily?" Kay asked curiously. "You look like hell."
"Oh gee, just what a person wants to hear first thing in the morning," Lily replied sarcastically.
"Sorry, but you just don't look so good."
She shrugged. "I couldn't sleep last night."
"Ahh, the fight with James still on your mind?" Riley asked, reaching for the last cinnamon scone.
Lily sighed. "More than you know," she murmured. She glanced up and her heart sped up rapidly as the four Marauders entered into the Great Hall, all of them laughing about one thing or another. She gasped when she saw Remus' black eye.
"What the hell happened to you?" Riley asked first as Remus walked past.
Remus grinned. "Doesn't it make me look dangerous?"
"It makes you look like a fool," Kay clarified. "What happened?"
"I walked into a door," Remus said.
Lily ignored his sarcasm. "No seriously."
"What do you think happened?" he snorted. "I got punched."
"By who?" Riley asked, shaking her head in disbelief. "You're like the most passive person I know. Who had the guts to clock you?"
"James," Sirius interjected with a chuckle.
"What?" the three girls cried out in shock. Lily finally gazed up at James, a grim smile on her face. "Why did you do that?" she asked softly.
James met Lily's gaze, a pang of guilt filling his heart. "It's a long story," he muttered, turning away from Lily's piercing stare. Without another word, he wandered down to the other end of the Gryffindor table.
The three girls turned to the remaining three Marauders for answers. "Well? What the hell did you do to make James punch you?" Riley questioned.
Remus exchanged a hesitant look with Peter and Sirius. "Like he said," he murmured. "It's a long story." Offering them a sheepish smile, the three of them retreated down the table to meet back up with James.
"What the hell was that all about?" Riley pondered curiously.
"Probably has something to do with the fact that James and I are on the outs," Lily muttered. She had no doubt in her mind that Remus stood up to James after he told her about their conversation.
Kay and Riley exchanged a surprised glance. "Uh, come again?"
"Nothing," Lily sighed.
"You broke up?" Kay said in a hushed tone.
"No," Lily argued. "Well, not yet anyway. I'm sure it's just a matter of time before James realizes that I'm completely worthless to him."
"Don't be self-deprecating, Lily," Riley argued, shaking her head. "It's very unbecoming."
Lily shrugged. "You're right," she said, plastering a smile on her face. "There's no point in feeling sorry for myself."
"Exactly. You just have-"
"I'll wait until he actually breaks up with me to feel sorry for myself."
Riley gave her a look. "Not exactly what I meant," she sighed. "But here's a thought: if you think he's going to break up with you, why don't you do something about it?"
"I've tried!" Lily cried out, frustrated. "He's just not interested in anything I have to do or say. A girl can only try so hard before she looks desperate."
"So you're just going to give up on him?" Riley asked, shocked.
Lily gazed down towards James, who was laughing with his friends. "No," she said curtly. "I don't have to give up on him, because it's clear he gave up first."
Riley opened her mouth to argue, but Lily interrupted quickly, finishing off her milk. "C'mon, we should head to class."
"We still have fifteen minutes," Kay pointed out.
"I like being early," Lily murmured.
Kay and Riley chose not to argue and followed her out.
James watched Lily stride out of the Great Hall with her two friends and sighed. "I am being an idiot to her, aren't I?" he murmured aloud.
Remus quirked a confused eyebrow. "Heh?"
James gazed over at Remus and the black eye that he was sporting. "You were right last night," James murmured.
"About?"
James smacked his head against the table. "It makes me feel better to avoid Lily and push her away because maybe if she's hurting then I don't have to."
"Do you realize how bogus that sounds?" Sirius snorted. "It's not like one person and one person only in the world suffers at one time."
"I know," James admitted.
"Well, then do something about it," Remus said matter-of-factly.
James frowned. "I-I want to want to fix it," he said softly.
It was the first bit of vulnerability any of them had seen since Brite's death. Sirius gazed over at him hesitantly. "You just don't know how?" he suggested.
James blinked, finding a sudden interest in his empty plate. "I don't know what I want." His voice was hoarse, full of desperation. And he meant it. One minute, he wanted to scoop Lily up in his arms, embrace her tightly and never let her go. The next minute, he wanted to avoid her as much as possible in fear of breaking down in front of her. His mind was conflicted with confusion and it was all terribly overwhelming. The only thing he knew was that he was being an idiot. He just wasn't so sure he knew how to stop being one.
"James?"
James' body stiffened and he slowly turned around to meet his sister's gaze. She was holding a letter in her hand. He sighed. "Not now, Dezzy."
"James, please just-"
"Please nothing. I'm not in the mood to talk."
"I'm not trying to talk to you, I'm simply telling-"
"Telling is a form of talking," James muttered. "Please just me alone while I deal with my latest problem."
Dezzy glared at her brother fiercely. "I just came over here because-"
"You want me to talk to you about Brite," James interrupted, rolling his eyes. "Story of my life apparently. But here's my story: I really don't want to discuss it. I figured out last night I'd rather punch my best friend than discuss it. Go find JT because I won't be that guy! Hell, even Grant will be better company than me."
"I didn't come over here to do any of that, you prat of a brother!" Dezzy snapped, throwing the letter down on the table in front of him. "I came over here because Mom keeps asking me why you've gone AWOL! She hasn't heard from you ever since we found out and she would like to know that you're coming to the damn funeral!"
James didn't even cower at his sister's angry cries. "Considering I have bloody responsibilities, yeah, I guess I kinda have to be there."
"Well, word around the school is you weren't planning on going so I figured I'd get a straight answer from the man himself before disappointing Mom," Dezzy replied sardonically, eyeing James in contempt.
"What the hell? 'Word around the school?'" James growled. "How the-" he stopped short and scowled. "You've been talking to Riley."
"Well, yeah. It's not as if you're willing to talk."
"Stay away from my friends, Dez," James grunted, glaring at her. "They don't know anything."
"Uh, hello? Sitting right here," Sirius pointed out with a smirk.
Both Potters ignored his words. "So are you coming to the damn funeral or not James?" Dezzy asked.
James scoffed. "Wouldn't want to disappoint Mother."
"Whoop-de-do. You can tell Mom yourself. I'm tired of doing your dirty work. It's been a pleasure talking to you as always," Dezzy sneered dryly, glaring at James heatedly before whirling around and storming out of the Great Hall.
James didn't even care that the whole school was staring at him. It couldn't be worse than everything he was going through. He quickly stood up from his seat. "I'm outta here."
Remus sighed. "Big surprise there."
Rushing out of the Great Hall, James ran into someone ran right into someone and stumbled backwards. "Ow!"
"Ooh, sorry James," Fabian winced, rubbing his head.
James froze. "Fabian," he simply said.
"Hey," he murmured.
They both stood there in an awkward silence before James sighed and spoke up. "I'd say I'm sorry to hear about your brother, but I bet you've heard that about a hundred times already and every person who said it to you wanted to hex them into an oblivion."
Fabian smirked. "Tell me about it."
James sympathetically smiled. "I-I am sorry though."
"You're also the one person who actually sounds sincere."
"I never thought that could be a good thing," James sighed.
Fabian laughed. "Hey, you want to blow off class?"
James shrugged. "And do what?"
"Who cares? The professors feel sorry for us and this is actually a time where we can ditch class and not get detention," Fabian pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "I say we take advantage of that."
"You're on."
Evidently the answer to ditching class was to drink firewhisky out by the lake. Even at nine o'clock in the morning.
Neither spoke as they passed the half-empty bottle between the two of them. James craved the burning liquid as it slid down his throat, focusing on the drink in his hand so as not to think about anything else. He wondered if drinking his sorrows away was a possibility.
"I never thought I'd be the oldest brother," James found himself blurting out at one point.
Fabian glanced over at him, the remorse evident in his eyes. "At least you learned from the best."
James couldn't argue that as he handed the bottle back over to Fabian, who took a rather long swig.
"You know what really sucks about all this?" Fabian murmured, lowering the bottle from his lips.
"You mean besides the fact that our brothers are dead," James drawled, ignoring the pain in his heart.
Fabian winced. "Yes, besides that," he sighed.
"Then what?"
"That a completely innocent family had to die at the expense of our brothers' training mission," he whispered, his eyes clouding over with shame.
James' heart constricted at the very thought. He hadn't spent much time thinking about the Moreau family considering his own personal tragedy, but Fabian was right. "The Moreaus died so that our brothers could," he murmured.
Fabian met James' gaze, but said nothing. He just handed James the bottle.
"These missions are supposed to help shape young Auror recruits into being strong, confident, combative Aurors," Fabian muttered. "I guess this year they all got a lot more than they bargained for."
James couldn't think about it anymore, so he once again went back to focusing on the lukewarm liquid pouring down his throat. He didn't want to think about how off-guard they all must have felt. How they were outnumbered. How they had little chance of coming out of that battle alive. Tears clung to his eyes but he quickly blinked them away.
"I've never wanted to be an Auror more than I do right now," Fabian spoke again.
James froze, turning to face his Ravenclaw friend. "You want to be an Auror?"
Fabian nodded.
"Even after what happened to your brother?"
Fabian glanced at James hesitantly. "It just gives me more reason to want to fight in this war."
James hadn't thought much about it since Brite had died, but Fabian was right. What should have given him a reason to hesitate over becoming an Auror actually gave him more of a push to aim for that goal. Good people were dying everyday and that wasn't going to stop until Voldemort was stopped. James was determined to be a part of that.
James glanced down at the bottle in his hand and frowned. "We're out of firewhisky."
Fabian sighed. "Well, fuck."
"Y'know, I think I can get pretty good at avoiding him," Lily said with Riley by her side as they headed to Advanced Transfiguration.
"That's because he's avoiding you," Riley snickered. "I don't think that really counts."
"Well, whether it counts or not, I'm pretty grateful for it. I-I don't know what to expect between us after last night. Maybe James will skip all of his afternoon classes as well," Lily mentioned with a hopeful tone. He had disappeared all morning and Lily wasn't too upset about that.
"You can't avoid him forever, Lily."
"I don't plan to. I just have to avoid him until he gets back from his brother's funeral. That's only a few days. That's totally doable!"
"I think the word you're looking for is cowardly," Riley snickered. "And why do you only have to wait until then?"
"Because our problem right now is Brite. Once James goes to the funeral, maybe we'll be able to move on and find a way to live with each other without needing to fight," Lily explained.
"You really think it's going to be that easy?"
Lily shrugged. "A girl can hope, can't she?"
"You live in a totally messed up world hon," Riley replied, stopping at the top of the stairway. "God I hate those stairs. I think the Muggles totally knew what they were talking about when the invented the elevator."
Lily laughed. "Out of shape, hm?" Lily teased.
Riley made a face. "At least I'm not cowardly."
"I'm not being a coward, I'm being realistic. All I have to do is go four days without talking to him or even making eye contact with him to avoid potentially awkward situations," Lily sighed. "I'm being mature about the whole thing."
Riley coughed, which sounded an awful lot like 'Coward.'
Lily made a face. "Shut up."
James had wanted to avoid classes all day, but Fabian pointed out that McGonagall would have their heads had they skipped out on Transfiguration that afternoon.
The two of them arrived at class far earlier than they ever had before, both skipping out on lunch altogether. It had become slightly unbearable being in the Great Hall where the watchful eyes of pity and sympathy followed them everywhere they went. He slumped into his usual chair and threw his bag on to the table chaotically, Fabian doing the same at the table behind him.
"Really wish we still had some firewhisky," Fabian murmured as he rummaged through his bag for his textbook.
"I've never gone to class drunk, but today would have been a good reason to do so," James agreed.
They said nothing more as they sat in silence, aching for the days before the heartbreak settled in.
James never felt more alone that in that moment even with Fabian sitting behind him. But he really had no one to blame but himself. He pushed everyone away because he thought that if he had no one in his life, it would be easier for him to feel sorry for himself. Except now that he had pushed everyone away and he was feeling sorry for himself, he just wanted everything back to the way it used to be.
He wished Brite was there because he would have known what to do. And that caused James to sigh, realizing that if Brite were still around he wouldn't be in the situation he was in. He jumped at the sounds of footsteps. He froze when Riley and Lily walked into the room.
Riley leaned in to her best friend. "So, you know the whole avoiding James plan you had? Um…what's Plan B?"
Lily elbowed Riley in the side. "Shut up," she hissed. She quickly walked past James without so much as a glance his way.
Riley sauntered over to James and sat down in the empty chair beside him. "So, how was your night last night?"
James glared at her.
"Right, stupid question," she murmured.
"What do you want, Riley?" James muttered, slumping down in his chair.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I figured since I'm one of the few people in this school you're actually still talking to, you'd enjoy my company," Riley said sardonically.
"Except we shouldn't be talking considering you haven't actually forgiven me yet."
"I told you I had."
"Yeah, you told me. Doesn't make it true."
She frowned, leaning back on her hind chair legs as she considered his words. "I have forgiven you, James," she said softly, turning to gaze at him. "And yeah, maybe it's partly due to timing. I can't deny that fact. But honestly, James, it's because we've been through a lot together in the eighteen years we've known each other. And our friendship has sustained through it all no matter the hardship. This time shouldn't be any different."
"Which time? My blurt-out or my brother's death?"
"Both."
He slowly turned to look at her which inevitably was a mistake. She looked so desperate and grief-stricken that he couldn't imagine letting her into his life again. Only problem was he wasn't exactly welcoming to those in his life anymore. "Fine," he muttered.
Riley looked surprised. "Fine?"
He shrugged. "We can be friends again."
"Gee, don't sound so excited about it."
He felt his heart flutter at the prospect of their friendship being reunited. "I am," he said softly. "You're my best friend, Riley. That never changed just because I stopped being yours."
"You'll always be my best friend, Potter," Riley responded immediately, setting her chair back firmly against the ground to give him a look. "And in the spirit of making up, you want to tell me why you won't do the same with Lily?"
He scowled. "I take it back. We can't be friends anymore."
"Too late."
"James."
"Riley."
Riley crossed her arms bitterly and glared at her best friend. "You know, James, you can continue this sarcastic, self-pity act, but no matter what you say to me, I won't walk away. I won't leave you to yourself like you expect me to or hope I will. I won't try to avoid you like everyone else. I know you too well, James. I know it's all just an act and you're actually feeling more hurt than you ever have before. But you don't want to admit that to anyone, least of all yourself."
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't play dumb with me," Riley responded with a glare. "You know perfectly well that the way you've been acting and treating everyone you truly care about is your way of trying to get everyone-"
"Off my back?"
"In the literal sense, yes," Riley argued. "You feel suffocated and you think that the easiest way of dealing with those around you is making them mad. Because if you're alone, it makes feeling sorry for yourself a hell of a lot easier."
He frowned broodingly. "Except there's one little flaw in your little theory."
"And what's that?"
"No matter if I'm alone or if I'm surrounded by people, I still feel sorry for myself," James said firmly, staring Riley directly in her eyes.
"And whose fault is that?"
"Voldemort's!"
Riley cringed, glancing downward. "Again, this sarcastic, self-pity act isn't helping anyone," she snorted. "You know that part of the reason you're feeling sorry for yourself is your own fault."
James laughed derisively. "Yeah, you're right. This is my fault. I decided it would be a lot of fun to kill my own brother."
Riley scoffed. "Oh, don't give me that. You've been pushing away your family and your girlfriend so you can instead focus more on that pain then the pain of losing a brother!"
"Do you mind not psychoanalyzing me? I think Lily and the guys have done enough of that this week."
Riley clenched her teeth and sat forward in her chair, placing her crossed arms on the desk and glaring at him. "Like I said, say what you want. Because I plan on sticking around no matter what."
James shrugged and picked up his textbook, placing in his lap as he started flipping through it for something to do. "Fine with me. But do you mind doing it without talking?"
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she sighed, as she walked back to where Lily was sitting and saving her a seat, noticing that the classroom was now filling up with more students.
"So, what did he say?" Lily asked nervously.
Riley shrugged. "Not much. He's still feeling sorry for himself. What else is new?"
Lily bit down on her lip and started to write his name out with her finger on the table tautly. "Did he say anything about me?" She averted eye contact with her best friend.
"Unless you can count him muttering under his breath about how you, like me and everyone else, psychoanalyze him, no. Not really."
Lily glanced up in James' direction, where Sirius was now joining him. "He said I've psychoanalyzed him?"
"Well, can you blame him? You sorta have," Riley pointed out.
Lily leaned back in her chair with a loud sigh. "Yeah, I know," she muttered. "This…this all really sucks."
"If it helps, he's not exactly fun to be around at the moment. He's acting very cynical and way too glum for my taste. Maybe you were on to something with your whole avoiding him idea. I should try it."
Lily had no response so she was thankful that McGonagall chose that moment to walk into the room and start class.
"As long as we don't work in our partnerships today, I should be fine," Lily murmured, slumping further down into her seat.
"Since we just had an exam and we finished up the previous lesson, I figured I'd give you this day to work in your partnerships to further discuss your projects," McGonagall continued.
Lily groaned. "Can nothing go my way?"
"So what's Plan C?" Riley whispered.
"What are my chances I can fake sick?" Lily murmured.
"Not good. McGonagall can usually see right through that," Riley pointed out, grabbing her books off the table. "Good luck."
"Maybe if I don't talk to him, he won't talk to me," Lily suggested with a hopeful tone.
James walked cautiously over to the now empty seat besides Lily. "Hey, Lily," he muttered less than enthusiastically.
Riley smiled sheepishly at Lily and leaned in to whisper, "I think you're on Plan Z by this point…"
Lily just groaned inwardly and slumped down even further in her seat with a whimper.
That night, Lily whisked herself away to the library with Riley to get her mind off of James. She had hoped that during the day, James would have come to his senses and realized what a jerk he was being to her. Instead, he blew off his morning classes, doodled during Advanced Transfiguration instead of helping Lily with their project, and joked around during dinner with his friends. It seemed to Lily that she was the only one hurting.
She knew that he was just afraid of his emotions and didn't want to show any weakness in front of her. She knew there wasn't anything she particularly did to earn his silent treatment. She knew that when he was ready to admit defeat, he would come find her.
Except there was one problem. She didn't really know any of that. It was all just hopeful thinking. And how much longer could she really go along with it?
Soon after Lily and Riley were settled in at the library, the four Marauders sauntered in.
Riley glanced over at Lily, who quickly tensed up. "Do you want to leave?" Riley asked cautiously.
Lily shook her head. "No. I have too much work to do. I…I can't let him drive me out of the library. This place is my safe haven!"
Riley forced out a smile. "That's the spirit!"
Lily nodded and returned to writing her Potions essay.
"Okay, fine. Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Wynona," Remus said with a wicked grin.
Sirius blanched. "Have you forgotten that two of those people are my cousins?"
Remus winced. "Oh, right." He turned to James. "Okay, so you answer the question."
"That's not how the game works! It's Sirius' turn."
Sirius shrugged. "You might as well answer because I'm totally going to give you those three names next."
James grumbled, searching for an empty table. "Well, I'm definitely chucking Bellatrix. Any girl who can stand to snog Lestrange is not in her right mind."
"So what about the other two?" Sirius asked with a humored grin.
James rolled his eyes. "I'm beginning to think I hate this game."
"Answer the question!" Peter said with a smirk.
"Okay, fine. Who has a knut on them?"
"You're going to flip a knut?" Remus snorted. "How pathetic."
"Do you have a better solution?" James snickered.
Remus shrugged and whipped out a knut from his pocket, handing it to James. "No, not at all. I'm just saying it's pathetic."
Riley whirled around in her chair. "Do you guys mind?" she snapped, glaring at the four of them. "Your feeble chitchat is getting a little boisterous."
"This coming from the girl who thinks screaming can be considered an indoor voice," James shot back with a chuckle. He sat awkwardly, fixating on Riley and trying hard not to even glance in the slightest toward Lily, who was immersing herself in her textbook herself to avoid James at all cost.
"Do you see me screaming?" Riley barked.
"Sorry, we'll be quieter," Sirius promised, flashing her a quick, apologetic smile before scurrying over to an empty table only a few feet away from where Lily and Riley were working.
Before she could retort, someone's hand brushed up against the back of her neck, and she jumped. "Oh!"
Rhett winced. "Ooh, sorry," he whispered, kissing her cheek. "Starting without me, hm?" He winked at her and took the empty seat beside her.
"Not really," she said, plastering a smile on her face. "Working on Potions homework, that's all."
"Ah, okay." He dug into his bag for his textbook and parchment, and Riley took that time to sneak another glance in Sirius' direction. She hadn't given much thought to him recently, her thoughts spending far more time on James. But sitting just a few feet away from him made her realize how awkward things were between them now that he and Rachael had broken up. When they were both in relationships, it was easy being friends. Now she was afraid of being alone with him.
At the Marauders' table, Peter, Remus, and Sirius reluctantly started to pull out their books. James, instead, pulled out a paper bag that clearly held some sort of bottle.
Remus frowned. "What are you doing, Prongs?"
He hesitated. "Would you believe me if I said this was water?"
"You're going to get yourself expelled."
James merely shrugged, taking a swig from the bottle and ignoring Remus completely. "So, Padfoot, how's the post-break-up life coming?"
Sirius hesitated. "Which break-up?"
James snorted, taking another sip of alcohol. "Rachael's. How's Nikki?"
Sirius shrugged curtly, eyeing the paper bag rather cautiously. "I don't want to talk about my personal life anymore. I've been doing too much of that over the past month."
"Would you rather do work?" Remus chuckled.
"Nikki is good," he responded almost immediately, causing a rift of laughter among them. "I'm good. We're both good."
"Are you both good together?" he asked.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're not planning on dating her, are you?"
Sirius burst into laughter. "In the name of Merlin's left buttock, hell no. What makes you say that?"
"Well, you've been in relationship mode lately," James explained.
"Nikki's nickname is Hickey Nikki, not Dateable Nikki."
"Probably because that doesn't rhyme," Remus said with a teasing smile.
"We might as well be dating with her inability to make a decision," Sirius growled. "That girl can't make a decision to save her life. Should we go out on the grounds? Astronomy Tower? Dungeons? You know what her response always is? I don't know. I don't care. It's frustrating! It's too much work to figure out what she wants! Girls needs to learn to make up their minds."
"What's this about us not being able to make up our minds?" a nearby voice drawled.
James flailed his arms as his chair tipped backward out of surprise to hear a response right behind him. "ARGH!" he cried, gripping the edge of the table immediately before he could crash to the ground.
"Smooth," Jillian said. She ran her fingers along the back of Remus' neck and grinned. "Hey boys. So, what's this about making decisions?"
"I'm just saying that girls are impassive and indecisive, that's all," Sirius clarified smugly.
"Oh yeah, and men excel in the department of making decisions," she replied sarcastically. She sat down lightly on Remus' lap, flashing a smile in his direction. "You guys can't even pick a restaurant without thinking it somehow is going to determine the rest of your lives."
"Well, it could! I brought a girl to an Indian restaurant once only to find out she was allergic to curry!" Sirius complained. "That was the end of that date. And who knows? Maybe she was the one."
"It's never 'the one' with you," Remus snickered, wrapping his arm around Jillian's waist.
"Wasn't that Evelyn who you brought to the Indian restaurant?" Jillian asked.
Sirius tensed. "Damn, I forgot you lived with her."
Jillian laughed. "It was the end of the date maybe, but if I recall correctly, you had sex with her in the women's bathroom."
The three guys burst into laughter.
Sirius turned red. "Okay, you officially can't hang out with us anymore."
"I beg to differ!" Remus argued.
"Aren't we supposed to be doing work?" Sirius accused, scrunching up his nose. "Girls are distracting!"
"Hell yeah, they are," Remus said with a furtive grin, kissing her softly on the mouth.
"I'm pretty sure snogging isn't a part of our project," Sirius pointed out. "Believe me, if it were, I would have gotten a head start a long time ago with all the girls in Hogwarts."
"Oh really, when? When you were in a secret relationship with my best friend," James interjected humorously, "Or when you were in a rebound relationship with Rachael?"
Sirius opened his mouth to retaliate, but closed it thereafter. "Touché."
The whole table erupted in laughter, including Sirius, who was surprised he could find a reason to laugh when Riley was involved.
Riley's hand lifted from the parchment, and at the sound of their joyous laughter her eyes gazed over at the Marauders, who had recently been joined by Jillian. She was curious what set off the laughter and had a sudden longing to be over there with him laughing instead of being at her table doing work with Rhett and Lily.
"Riley!"
She turned back to Rhett. "Hm?"
He sighed. "Do you have the charts we made last week?"
She nodded and dove into her bag, thankful for the distraction.
Rhett glanced over at the Marauders' table and quickly returned to his research. A few seconds later, Riley handed him the charts and they went back to working in silence.
"Something tells me that's not apple juice you're drinking," Jillian pointed out to James with a quirked eyebrow.
He grinned sheepishly. "If you don't tell anyone, I'll let you share."
She shot him a look. "I have about a thousand essays to write, a bunch of Potions to learn, and I'm behind in Charms. Somehow getting drunk tonight seems like a rather terrible idea," she pointed out. "Which is why I'm so in."
"Jillian!" Remus groaned. "Don't encourage him."
"Oh, no, encourage away," he teased, handing her the bottle.
Lily lifted her eyes from her own work for barely a second as she watched the two Gryffindors pass some type of alcoholic bottle back and forth between them. So now James was not only avoiding her but he was going down a dangerous path of drinking his feelings away. Her heart ached for him, but her head kept her rooted at her own table where she continued to do work as an attempt to avoid thinking about him.
"So, how about you put off work for the night," Jillian whispered in Remus' ear.
"I second that!" Sirius practically screamed, earning a table of Slytherins to growl at him.
"Sirius, we did absolutely nothing today in class because you insisted on flirting with Nikki the entire time. That is why we are in the library on a Friday night," Remus explained, fixating a stern glare on Sirius.
"You make it sound like it's all my fault," Sirius murmured, slumping down into his chair.
"That's because it is," Remus retaliated.
Sirius scowled. "I want a new project partner."
"It's March. It's a little late for that," Peter argued.
Sirius whirled around to face James. "James, you can switch with me," he pleaded, lurching forward anxiously. He had a goofy grin on his face that told the rest of them a foolish plan was in motion. "I'm sure you don't want to spend all of your time with your soon to be ex-girlfriend."
"What?" Jillian screeched.
Sirius offered James a lopsided grin as a dismal sort of apology. "Oops." He slinked back into his chair.
James scowled and glared at Sirius. "Thanks for that."
"When did this happen?" Jillian prodded.
"It didn't happen. We're not exes. We're just…not exactly on speaking terms at the moment. That's all!" James murmured. "Sirius lies. All lies. He's a liar."
"Why am I friends with you again?" Sirius asked curiously.
"Because my parents took you in when you could no longer deal with living with your psychotic parents."
"Oh, right. I knew there was a reason."
Jillian just smiled, shaking her head in disbelief at the friends.
"Jillian," James interrupted her thoughts. "Can you please not spread it around that Lily and I are…er…on sabbatical? That's just what I need right now: people not only talking about Brite's death behind my back but also about how I can't keep a girlfriend for longer than a couple of months."
"No, of course. I won't say anything," Jillian promised. She glanced at Remus who nodded, a way of telling her that he'll divulge the whole story later in the privacy of his own room. "But Sirius does pose a logical question."
"Wait, logical? Me? Are you sure? Those two words don't often fall in the same sentence unless the word 'not' is in front of logical," Sirius said, crinkling his nose in skepticism.
Jillian laughed. "I'm just wondering how James plans on working with Lily not only on your project but also as Head Boy and Head Girl?"
James shrugged, trying really hard not to think about it. "We'll figure something out."
No one was as unconvinced as James was.
"Can I ask you something?" Jillian asked hesitantly.
James nodded.
"Haven't you been in love with that girl since the day you set eyes on her?"
James opened his mouth to protest but eventually shrugged. "Perhaps."
"Then why are you taking some time apart?" she questioned curiously, giving him a stern look. "Whatever you're going through has to be better with Lily than without, don't you think? Unless you plan on being miserable for the rest of your life."
"I wouldn't pine over the girl for the rest of my life," James said, rolling his eyes. "That's a little extreme."
"Well it did take you six years to bag the girl."
Sirius, Peter, and Remus snorted.
James scowled, but couldn't help but realize that Jillian had a point. It did take him six years to get together with Lily. Could he really just let that slip away because of a possibly bruised ego?
Instead of answering that question, he took another drink.
About an hour later, Lily started to pack up her things. "I've come to the conclusion that I detest Potions," she murmured.
"When have you ever detested a class?" Riley snorted, snapping her head away from, once again, the Marauders', who were all immersed in work surprisingly, although by the furtive peeks Jillian (who was now in a chair of her own) kept sending Remus, it was obvious she'd rather be alone with him somewhere that wasn't full of bookshelves and hard-working students.
"Since Slughorn has chosen to bog us down with work. Does he not realize that we have other classes?" Lily whined, placing her books and parchment back in her schoolbag. "I'm going to go find Kay."
"Isn't she hanging out with Alice?" Riley asked.
"Later, I think," Lily offered. She shoved the last folder into her already bulky schoolbag. "But I think she can give me a few minutes of her times and help me waste my time. Wasting time sounds a lot more bearable right now than trying to figure out what a bezoar stone does."
"A bezoar stone can potentially save-" Rhett started.
"I don't care!" Lily cried, throwing her hands in the air. "I've moved on to wasting time!"
Both Rhett and Riley laughed, and said their goodbyes to Lily as she swiftly left the library. The truth was, it wasn't Potions she detested. It was sitting just a few feet away from her supposed boyfriend while it was clear he was having a good time and she wasn't. She missed him already and it hadn't even been 24 hours. It had been so easy being his girlfriend and she didn't even realize it until a wedge was driven between them. Any other day, she would have been at that table, laughing along with them to their juvenile yet humorous jokes. Now, she was the third wheel to Riley and Rhett. And it had happened overnight.
What else was going to change? Was everything going to go back to the earlier years, when it was only Lily, Riley, and Kay, and the Marauders were barely in the picture? She didn't want to lose her friendships with Sirius and Remus, and even Peter, over this break-up. She didn't know how much her life had changed over the years, but now as she wandered through the gloomy hallways that matched her mood, she came to the realization that she liked who she was now better than she ever liked herself before. James had made her into a better person, and she didn't want to be forced to revert back to her uptight, rule-following, prissy self that she was before January. She quickly wiped away a tear as she crawled through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room.
"Poor Lily," Riley sighed after Lily had been long gone.
"Hm?" Rhett took his head out of his notes.
"I just feel bad for Lily. It's obvious how much this situation with James is hurting her," Riley said, rubbing the back of her neck.
"She seemed fine to me," Rhett said.
"Yeah, Lily was always good at hiding her true feelings. But I know her and I know she's feeling really down about the whole thing. I mean, Lily has never once complained about Potions. It's her way of scurrying off so she doesn't have to deal with James anymore," Riley explained. "I just hope that they can figure everything out before we all get torn apart."
She used Lily as an excuse to once again steal a peek in the general direction of the Marauders. Both Sirius and Jillian had given up work and were now trying to see who could make the best paper airplane. The table of Slytherins who kept getting hit by the paper airplanes wasn't too pleased. Riley smirked.
"Yeah." That was all Rhett said. He had no reply, mostly because he knew it wasn't James that Riley was looking at.
"Oh, come on, you cheated!" Sirius pouted, after it was evident that Jillian's paper airplane went a few feet farther than Sirius' and James ruled that round in Jillian's favor.
Jillian rolled her eyes. "I did not."
"Remus helped you!"
"So what? He's my boyfriend. There's an unwritten rule that states he's allowed to help me make paper airplanes," Jillian retaliated, grinning impishly.
"And why exactly would that be an unwritten rule?" Sirius asked. "Are paper airplanes that crucial to relationships? Hm, perhaps I've figured out the grounds for not being able to keep a girl around."
"Yeah, that, or you have no common sense," James interjected, not bothering to glance up from his essay.
Sirius grinned garishly. "Yeah, okay, that might have something to do with it."
Remus sighed and put down his quill, clearly irritated that his work was being interrupted. "Besides, the only reason I helped her was because-"
"She'll make it up to you later by blowing you?" Sirius finished for him, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Jillian threw one of her earlier attempts at a paper airplane, now just a crumpled up ball, at Sirius, hitting him square on the nose.
"Hm, I was going to say because she kept pleading with me and it was the only way I could get back to work, but thanks for the graphic details," Remus replied, rolling his eyes in disbelief.
Sirius patted Remus on the shoulder condescendingly. "Oh, please, we all know it's true. I'm not stupid. I know what goes on behind closed doors."
"Okay, this conversation just took a very peculiar turn," Jillian murmured, slinking down in her chair.
"Get used to it, honey," Sirius said haughtily, winking at her. "Bragging about our sex lives is what men do."
"Funny, I can say the same thing about women," Jillian said with a shrug. "And living with Evelyn and Rachael, I've heard plenty about you, Mr. Black."
Sirius' eyes grew wide and he practically jumped up in his chair, fully alert. "Oooh, what did they say? Good things, I presume."
"I believe that is none of your business," Jillian said with a surreptitious lopsided grin. "What goes on behind our closed doors remains elusive."
Sirius' eyebrows perked up suggestively. "Are you insinuating that girl-on-girl action is-"
Jillian burst into laughter, drowning out Sirius' last few words. "You disgust me."
"Why, thank you!" He bounced perkily on his seat, earning an irritated glare from James which was noted but ignored.
Jillian couldn't help but gaze at Sirius with a warm smile on her face.
"What?" Sirius asked, taken aback by her slyness.
"It's just nice to see you this upbeat," she said with a casual shrug. "Since your break-up with Riley, you've been a bit glum if you ask me."
That immediately brought Remus and James out of their concentration on their textbooks and into the conversation that was occurring across their table, in awe that Jillian acknowledged it out loud.
Sirius' giddy smile quickly turned into a dazed lopsided frown. "Yeah, well," he sputtered out, "It…it was time to give it all up, I guess."
"I'm sorry that Rachael drove a wedge through the two of you."
Sirius blinked, alarmed by where this conversation had turned. "I think I missed the segue."
"No segue. Just me telling you my roommate is an idiot."
"Mm, that I can agree with," he muttered.
She smiled at him, recognizing that Sirius felt uncomfortable. "Hey, look. Rachael just walked in."
Sirius made a gagging noise. "So?"
She grinned suggestively. "I know who we can throw those paper airplanes at."
Sirius leaned back in his chair proudly. "I'm beginning to think that having you around all the time won't be so bad."
She smiled modestly. "Well, I'm honored."
Remus and James both groaned and returned to their essays, thankful for the bit of distraction away from writing.
Riley and Rhett abandoned their work quickly after Lily left, and digressed into their usual gossip about their schoolmates, after watching Trent Hemmingway and Rachael walk in together. "God, they'd be perfect for each other," Riley was saying. "Though, I don't know if their egos could handle the other."
"Yeah, and Trent is still convinced that Lily will come around and realize his relationship potential," Rhett divulged.
Riley rolled her eyes. "I assumed he gave up after Lily had kneed him in the balls last June."
"You'd think so, but that just made him want her more."
"Yeah, because she's the only girl that has ever rejected him," Riley pointed out. She quickly gathered all of her research articles together and threw them back into her folder.
"That was a blow to his ego if there ever was one," Rhett snorted. He handed her back the charts, and smiled, realizing how much he did enjoy his time with Riley.
"Why did he and Rachael come in—HEY!" she shouted, displeased by the paper airplane that had just soared into the side of her head, getting tangled up in her hair. She unraveled it from her hair, and crushed it into a crumpled ball.
"Sorry," Sirius said sheepishly, giving her an apologetic lopsided grin. "I was aiming for Rachael."
Riley glared at him. "You mean the girl who's sitting about five feet in the other direction?"
"I didn't say I had good aim," Sirius defended with a sheepish grin.
"I hadn't realized you couldn't read either, considering the plaque outside clearly reads 'Library,'" she snorted, staring him down. Why she was getting so angry was beyond her. "It's seven letters that in no way conveys the idea that this is the place that paper airplanes should be made! Go play in the Gryffindor common room if amusement is what you are seeking!"
"The plaque also states 'Quiet please,' and in no way conveys the idea that you should be screaming," he snickered, flashing her an amused smile.
"I am not screaming."
"Tell that to the students glaring at you right now."
"They're glaring at you for being a paper-airplane-making prat."
"Nonsense. People don't glare at me. I'm too good-looking."
"How does your head fit through doors, Black?"
"The same way your arse does I bet."
"BLACK!"
"Aha, now you're screaming."
"And now I'm going to hex you!" she snapped through gritted teeth.
Sirius grinned at her clear frustration with him. It was sadly a turn-on. "Try me, Babes."
She froze at the reminder of the chauvinistic nickname he used to call her by. She was finding herself suddenly very overwhelmed with this conversation. "Just stop throwing bloody airplanes my way and I won't feel the need to enlarge your head to its actual size."
He shrugged. "Whatever you say," he said with his usual teasing, boyish grin.
"Good," was the only thing she could think of to say.
"He can be so frustrating, can't he," Riley murmured, staring down at the old mahogany table that had inscriptions from years past.
"I forget that sometimes he can be a jackass," Rhett complied.
"I didn't say jackass," she quickly defended. "Just annoying."
"I'm not saying he's a bad person," Rhett further explained, eyeing her curiously. "Truth be told, the fact that he can go from his usual charming, magnetic self where he flashes a smile to anyone and gets his way to his cruel, jackass side where he doesn't care who he's hurting without much deviation is quite impressive."
"He's not a jackass. He just likes to mess around. Pranks and jokes is what he specializes in," Riley pointed out. "If that was a class here, he'd be teaching it."
Rhett cocked his head to the side with a disappointed frown. "I can't believe you're defending him."
"I'm defending him by calling him annoying?" Riley snorted.
Rhett glanced down at the table, particularly where "RG+RD" was inscribed, something Riley had done earlier that week when she was bored with the usual research, and sighed. "Riley," he said in a soft voice, running his fingers over the inscription.
"What?" she asked with a tiny laugh, wondering why they were arguing over Sirius.
"This isn't working."
She smirked. "I know. We're both so stubborn that we should drop this argument and-"
"No. Not that." He lifted his eyes from the table and met her inquisitive ones. "I mean, us."
Riley's heart skipped a beat. "What are you saying?" she asked in a hushed tone.
He looked away long enough to gaze into the bright overhead light fearfully, before sighing and turning back to his impatient girlfriend. "I mean, I think it's time to face reality."
"The reality of what, Rhett?" Riley asked harshly, getting increasingly agitated.
He glanced over at Sirius, his gaze hardening as he tightened his lips.
Riley followed his eyes and groaned inwardly. "Are you talking about Sirius?"
Rhett didn't respond.
"Nothing's going on between us, Rhett," she insisted. "And nothing ever will again."
"I know that, but..." he trailed off, glancing down at the initials again.
She rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you're letting Sirius get between us again."
"You think I want to?" Rhett sighed.
"So, this is about him."
"Riley, I would like nothing more than to continue this relationship," Rhett explained, eyeing her apologetically as if this were his fault. "But I can't do that under these false pretenses."
"What false pretenses?" Riley asked, gripping her quill tightly as she pursed her lips. "Can you just spit it out?"
"You're not ready for another relationship so quickly after Sirius. You're not over him."
Riley's quill snapped in two, and a trickle of blood ran down her palm, going unnoticed to the both of them. "Please tell me that was a joke." She hurled her quill down on the table and it bounced off and tumbled to the ground where it remained.
"You know what's really disheartening? That everyone else can see how much you two still care for each other except for the two of you," Rhett claimed, shaking his head in disbelief. "You can deny it all you want, Riley, but I can't be with someone who is just using me to try to get over her ex-boyfriend. I can't just be your rebound, Riley, especially because I really like you."
"And I really like you," Riley retaliated. Tears were welling up in her eyes. It was clear that Rhett had already made up his mind.
"I'm not saying you don't," Rhett quickly defended. "I'm just saying that you need to take some time and be on your own right now. You're-"
"And what the hell is that going to do?" she grumbled, shaking her head in disbelief. "What the hell is time going to do? What is being by myself going to go?"
He shrugged. "Move on," he said simply. "Having a boyfriend is not helping you get over him. It's just something to distract you from the break-up."
"Don't do this," she whispered, reaching for his hand.
He didn't pull away like she expected. "I have to."
"Why?"
"Because you've been constantly looking over at him all night. And every time you do, I wonder if you will ever look at me the same way."
It was a typical, cliché explanation, but Riley had no response.
"Riley, I think deep down, you know I'm right. We both know I was just the rebound guy. You weren't even three days broken up when we got together. And although, I've accepted it up until now, I can't continue like this." Rhett slipped his hand out from underneath Riley's and fixated on the maple table, too vulnerable to look at the hurt on Riley's face anymore. "You need to get over Sirius and being with me is just making it that much harder."
"I wish everyone would stop telling me how I feel about Sirius," Riley murmured.
Rhett bit down on his bottom lip. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely.
"I know you are," she muttered. She really was falling for him and she hated that Sirius was messing it up without him even realizing it. She sighed. "I really do like you, Rhett, and I know you think this relationship can be strictly categorized as just a rebound, but I don't think of it as that. I really care about you and I just…I guess it was just bad timing for our relationship."
Rhett placed his hand back in Riley's. "So you're not mad at me?"
"I could never be mad at you."
"Hm, funny, but I distinctly remember you yelling at me the first time I broke up with you," Rhett teased, his eyes dancing gaily.
Riley laughed. "You know what the ironic part about all of this is?"
"What?"
"Sirius Black has gotten between our relationship twice now."
Rhett smiled. "I should really punch the guy."
"I wouldn't stop you if you chose to get up off that chair and clock him right in the face," Riley teased, winking playfully. "Maybe Nikki will be so disgusted by his black eye, she'll stop dating him."
"He's dating Hickey Nikki?" Rhett asked, surprised. "Wait, does that girl even date?"
Riley made a face. "I don't know what's going on between them. I just know that they went out a few nights ago. But hey, if he's able to move on then maybe there's hope for me after all."
Rhett nodded, agreeing. "I just think you need some time being single. And when you're ready for a relationship, look me up."
Riley snorted and looked at him skeptically. "You've broken up with me twice now. You really think I'm going to come back for more?"
Rhett pushed her lightly on the shoulder with a short laugh. "Well, aren't you just Miss Funny Girl tonight."
She flashed him a haughty grin. "I'm Miss Funny Girl every night."
He laughed and she joined them. When the laughter slowly died down, they both sat there awkwardly, glancing around the room while an immediate tension filled the air between them. Rhett quickly retracted his hand when he realized their hands were still embraced. "Uh…well…" Riley dithered. "This is normally the part where I would take off and say 'I'll see you around,' but seeing as we're in the middle of researching for our project, I'm at a standstill."
"Why don't we go our separate ways now and just vow to meet back here tomorrow afternoon. Say, 3?"
"Sounds like a plan." She kissed him lightly on the lips, a gentle goodbye, before throwing her schoolbag over her shoulder and heading out of the library, once again, alone.
A/N: Well, James and Lily haven't officially broken up. Both of them know they don't want that to happen but both of them are too stubborn to do anything about it. And I really liked Riley and Rhett together, but it's obvious that RIley needed to spend some time alone and single! So this just so happened to be the chapter that the two of them broke it off. Will they end up together? Will Sirius and Riley? Stay tuned!