I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you – Avril Lavigne
Eric POV
I am not usually someone who wishes, who lives in 'what ifs,' imagining a life where things are better. I learned living this way is not helpful in my early vampire years. You need to focus on what is going on now, on the direction in which your life is currently moving. I have never had any reason to think otherwise until a certain little blond came into my bar one night. Since then, I have been thinking about a different way of life, a better way of life. And I find myself thinking that I just may be able to get it, to be able to give it to her.
And now I am staring at her hand that contains flecks of her blood that she just coughed up. I am looking to Pam lying motionless on the bed. I am looking at Andre who is fighting against the silver as the scent of Sookie's blood is affecting the weakened vampire. I am listening to Threadgill trying to come down the hallway, no doubt trying to use the situation to his advantage. As I am taking everything in, I find myself wishing in, 'if only,' situations.
If only Sophie-Anne did not look like she was close to a bomb going off. Then she could be the one to go and deal with Threadgill allowing me to stay here with Pam and Sookie to ensure their safety. Threadgill cannot perceive that Sophie-Anne is any weaker than he already probably does. He cannot see her as disheveled as she currently is.
If only, Threadgill was not currently a threat. Then it would not matter if he came into the room at all. Then I would not be pushed into a decision that will have me leaving Pam and Sookie when they need me the most.
If only Pam was not unconscious, then I could leave Sookie's care to her for a minute while I handled Threadgill while Sophie-Anne makes herself presentable to where she can come and deal with her soon to be husband. I still would not like leaving either one of them, but Pam can handle herself and she is one of the few that I trust Sookie's protection to.
If only Sookie was not currently coughing up more blood into her hand while mine is rubbing her back ineffectually. There is so much that could be helped with this wish. I am reminded of this as I again hear the clank of chains as Andre continues to thrash against them.
If only I had been able to protect them a bit more, because that is what it all comes down to.
I am finding that thinking in 'if onlys' is just as comforting in 'what ifs.' Neither offers much comfort and support. I need to take actions so they do not remain simply thoughts and wishes but instead become true. My first course of action is to summon Ludwig, who to my surprise quickly comes over.
"Her blood is in the air. This is not a good thing," the small doctor says, stating the obvious. I bite my tongue to keep back my retort. "About how long was she exposed to the smoke in the hallway?"
"Only a few minutes," I tell the doctor. I hear her mutter a few things to herself as she examines Sookie. Sookie's breathing seems to be normal even with the coughing up blood. Her heart rate is strong, which is something that I could have told the doctor.
I wrap my arms around Sookie as Ludwig checks her out and though I am happy that her coughing has stopped, I still am not happy about the blood. Andre is still thrashing against his chains trying to get up and I am just grateful that that Wybert is still unconscious. I do not want to even think about how the severely injured vampire would react to the scent of her blood in the air.
When Alcide comes back into the room, I can tell by the look on his face, I have delayed as long as I can. Rasul will not be able to hold Threadgill back for much longer. I look to Sophie-Anne who is continuing to hold Wybert's arm to his body in hopes to save him the pain of regeneration. She looks not only like she was near an explosion, but that she has been through a war. We need to save that for tomorrow night.
Though I am not happy about it, I am the only other in the room that Threadgill will accept speaking to. I can tell that Sookie has come to the same realization. She looks to me and makes a motion towards the door with her head, causing Ludwig to make a disapproving noise and hold her head straight. "Go, Eric," she tells me softly, managing not to cough. That is not so reassuring to me however, and I will not be happy until the doctor clears her.
"I do not want to leave you," I tell her. "I do not want to leave either of you," I say looking over at Pam. The bond I have with her is the same; it is still weak and muddled even as it appears to be steady. But that is not something I really trust at the moment. Sookie seemed fine as well at first.
"Eric, you need to go," she tells me as Ludwig starts looking into her eyes. "At least until Sophie-Anne does not look like she was right by a bomb that went off."
"Not until I know you two are all right," I tell her.
"And what good will that do us if we find ourselves trapped in Threadgill's little world," she tells me. I say nothing at her words, not having much of an answer for her. "We aren't going to be all right until this threat that is looming over our heads is over."
She is right, of course. It will not matter if she stops coughing up blood or if Pam wakes up in the next second if by this time tomorrow night Arkansas has won. The only way to make sure they will indeed be all right, that we will indeed be all right, is to keep Threadgill from finding out the repercussions of the bomb. If he does not know what they are, he cannot plan to use them against us. Unfortunately, this means that I have to go out and deal with him until Sophie-Anne can.
Once it seems like the doctor is finally giving Sookie a thorough examination, I softly call out to Thalia knowing the vampire would hear me. I tell her to quickly switch her clothes with the Queen and get her cleaned up so hopefully Threadgill will not know how close she was to the actual blast. For all we know, he could be behind the bomb and if he is, I do not want him to know how close he came to actually succeeding in reaching his goal.
It is still difficult for me to leave the room, but Sookie's words repeating in my head are what allow me to continue to walk forward. I have to think long term here. I have got to make sure that Sookie and Pam have somewhere safe to go when they are recovered, because they will be recovering from this. I will make sure of it, as I will be ensuring that when this is all over, we are all going back to Louisiana and not Arkansas. Casting one more look at my girls, who are in the capable yet frightening hands of Dr. Ludwig, I leave the room promising myself no matter what I will be back to them as soon as possible. Threadgill is not going to keep me from them for long.
I make my way through the hallway and relieve Rasul who has been the one preventing Threadgill from coming down the hallway. He makes his way into the convention room with my presence now here. I cannot say that I like another vampire in that room when I am not, but Rasul is one I trust to keep himself, and the others in the room, under control.
The vampire currently in front of me, I do not trust him enough to handle a pet rock at the moment. "Care to explain to me why I am being denied access to my wife," he says snarling at me. He is obviously upset though I doubt it is because he is going to be playing the role of the dutiful husband to be.
"It could very well be that you do not currently have a wife," I tell him, making sure to keep my voice calm.
He scoffs at my words and says, "I am marrying Sophie-Anne tomorrow. I should know what happened and be appraised of the situation." His arrogance is something that I am familiar with and I have seen in the past just what it can cost vampires. Pride is something vampires should have. Confidence is something a vampire should exude. Arrogance is something that can get even the strongest killed or tortured.
"Only if it still affects the state after tomorrow night, should it be brought to your attention. What is handled and dealt with before the contract is signed is not of your concern."
"And if that contract can't be signed by both parties tomorrow night," he asks with a bit of a telling smile on his face. So he does think that Sophie-Anne perished in the bomb, or is at least gravely injured. And the thought seems to make him happy, which makes me start to think about just how important she is to whatever plan he has. Whatever he wants, it looks like if Sophie-Anne was out of the picture he is convinced that it would be easier for him to get.
I need to make sure that he does not get what he wants no matter of who else is in the equation.
I hear the telltale steps walking down the hallway and cannot help the smile that appears on my face as I see the smile fall off his as he takes in who has finally decided to join us. Having her dress in Thalia's clothes makes everything better. As the Queen's preferences are duly noted, having another female vampire's scent on her would not cause questions. It would however suggest that Sophie-Anne is little concerned about the bomb that went right outside her room if her preoccupation has been elsewhere. "I can guarantee that I will be able to do more than simply sign a wedding contract tomorrow evening, Peter."
The look on his face does not give away whether or not he was behind the bomb. It definitely suggests that he is not happy that Sophie-Anne is walking around seemingly uninjured though, leading me to believe that she is at least a part of the obstacle that is between him and whatever he wants from Louisiana.
Though if he wants what I think he does judging by the shootings that he is more than likely behind, she is not the obstacle that he has to concern himself with.
"I'm glad to see you are alright," Threadgill says to Sophie-Anne, his voice sounding like the opposite is true.
"I'm sure you are," Sophie-Anne responds sounding cynical instead of simply going with what the Kings says. That is a tone of voice I have not heard her use with Threadgill since the beginning of this whole marriage fiasco. I have to say it is quite refreshing to hear after having her appear to be very nonchalant with everything. It allows me to believe that Sophie-Anne may just have a bit of a plan yet.
Of course, it would be nice to know what it is that she has planned.
Not getting anywhere with Sophie-Anne, Threadgill turns towards me and the glint he has in his eyes is definitely not one I appreciate. "I was sorry to learn that Ms. Stackhouse was up there when the bomb went off." I want to tear his head off and cauterize the wound with silver when I see the huge smile that appears on his face with his words. "I sure hope she was not hurt. Humans are so weak, aren't they?"
That is something that I have been worrying about myself lately with Sookie, her human body's fragility. I would be lying if I said that it did not worry me. With his words, more thoughts come pouring into my mind, though I doubt they are what Threadgill was aiming for. Weak is not ever something that I thought of Sookie, even if her body is more susceptible to injury. Sookie has been through so much in her life, especially recently. Facing your demons is hard enough. I should know because I have spent centuries avoiding mine. But Sookie made the brave decision to face hers and she has come out stronger for it.
The way that I treated her when I was worried that I had hurt her proves that. It would have been easy for her to crawl back into that space in her head she disappeared into as a child with everything that had happened to her, as I was yet just another person who has failed her. But she not only did not, she was strong enough to see past her own pain to my own. She has been strong enough to get me to question things that I was certain of for centuries. She has not only been strong enough to heal herself but she has also been strong enough to want to heal me, to help to heal me, to start to heal me.
Though I may not like how seemingly fragile Sookie is, she is anything but weak. She is one of the strongest creatures I know.
"Not the ones I know," I tell Threadgill, loving it when I see the smile fall from his face before I turn away. I walk back into the room to check on my strong human and child, leaving Sophie-Anne to deal with Threadgill. And for the first time in a long time, I think the Queen just might be able to handle it.
Sookie POV
Coughing up blood, definitely not something that I recommend. Coughing up part-fairy blood in a room full of injured vampires, yeah that should be a definite no-no.
I flinch again as I hear Andre struggle with the chains that are wrapped around his body. I am very thankful for them at the moment.
Ludwig is currently listening to my lungs. I must admit that my first thought when she told me she would have to was, 'Well, duh.' I never went to medical school before but it does seem quite obvious that if a patient is coughing up blood, a little listen to the lungs would be the first step. I did expect her to use a stethoscope to do the listening though. I was quite surprised when she grabbed me and pulled me closer to her, burying her head in my chest ear first.
So that is my current position – I am sitting on the bed that Pam is lying on clutching her hand while the tiny little doctor is clutching me, her ear pressed against my skin. Hers eyes are closed and when I started to ask a questions she put a finger over my lips. She also gave me a sharp look that made me thankful that she was the doctor and not the enemy. So I have stayed quiet, rubbing my thumb over Pam's hand, hoping my friend will wake up soon. I would even take her teasing at this point, if that meant she was okay.
I cough again, which makes Ludwig make a humming noise as she is still listening to my chest. There is still a little bit of blood but nothing like when it first started. It's still enough unfortunately, to still get Andre all riled up. I flinch again, which Ludwig must not like as she holds me in place tighter. She does look over at the thrashing vampire however, but is back to me when she seems certain his chains will hold.
I'm glad one of us seems confident at that.
I am happy when I see Sophie-Anne finally put together enough to leave the room. She exits quickly and I am certainly hoping that her presence with Threadgill will allow Eric to come back in. But it is not Eric that comes through the door when it opens but Rasul. He pauses for a second in front of the bed where Pam and I are before heading over to Andre and Wybert, which allows Thalia to make her way over to Pam and I.
And if I didn't know any better, I would say the usually stoic vampire looks upset as she glances back and forth between myself and Pam. "You will be all right," she says her voice steady as always but missing the strength that it usually holds. I nod not really knowing what to say. "You will be," she repeats getting some of her strength back. "I refuse to lose anyone else," she says her voice trailing off. My mind goes back to the comments she made on the plane about a vampire's ability to love and why she was sure it was possible. To feel pain and loss, you have to have the ability to feel like you belong to someone, to feel affection. Suddenly, the reason for Thalia's stoicism is much more clear to me.
"You won't be losing anyone else," I tell her. "Not if I have anything to say about it." Thalia nods in response, but I can see something relax in her face, definitely not a smile, but her face isn't as harsh as it usually is. As Thalia walks away when Rasul calls her over, I squeeze Pam's hand in mine as I hope that my words to Thalia will be true, for her sake, for my sake, for all of our sakes.
The door opens once again and thankfully it is Eric that walks through it this time. He immediately takes hold of my free hand before laying a gentle kiss to my temple. He is about to ask a question but I shake my head, knowing that Ludwig will not like the extra noise. Luckily, she lifts her head from my chest a few seconds later. Eric doesn't hesitate to ask what is wrong as soon as she does though.
"She breathed in a great deal of carbon dioxide," the doctor says. I feel Eric tense with her really non-answer beside me. I rub down his arm knowing we will get our answer of the doctor gets to keep her head. "She is lucky that is all that was in the air. There is no need for additives to bombs when your targets don't have the need to breathe."
"So why is she coughing up blood," Eric asks impatiently.
After giving Eric a glare, Ludwig goes on to explain that the carbon monoxide did some minor damage to my lungs. This caused me to cough, which further hurt my lungs and the rest of my respiratory tract, which started to bleed from all of the irritation, hence all the coughing up blood. "It's like a cycle," Dr. Ludwig explains. "The irritation will cause the coughing and the coughing will cause more irritation."
"How do we break the cycle then," I ask the doctor quickly because I doubt Eric would have worded it quite like that.
She looks at us like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "The irritation needs to be healed."
"Can my blood be used to do that safely," Eric asks.
Ludwig nods and says, "I imagine it already is. She has had your blood recently hasn't she?" We both nod. "That's why the irritation hasn't hurt the lungs any worse and why she is breathing fine without any supplementary oxygen. If you give her a little bit more, it'll be healed."
"Safely," Eric again asks. Ludwig simply nods. "And Pam," Eric asks.
Ludwig explains that Eric should wait until she's awake for her to have his blood. His blood would be sure to restore her then. Giving it to her too early could somehow cause her brain to heal faster than her body can handle. We could give her human blood to sustain her should she remain unconscious for days. Neither of us likes hearing that. Right now it is pretty much a waiting game. We have to see how long it takes her to heal. It's not something I like hearing and it's not something that Eric is used to.
"It's not uncommon with brain injuries, even for vampires. Your body regenerates itself quickly causing the evidence of the head injury to heal before the brain. The brain is complicated with all of the pathways and neurons. Your healing naturally slows to make sure it heals right with the brain. Call when she wakes up," she says before heading back over to Wybert. He hasn't woken up yet himself but has begun healing with all the blood. His chest though not yet closed completely, is definitely more chest shaped at this point.
I let out another cough, which has Eric quickly standing in front of me. He waits for me to stop and I am happy to say there is no blood with this bout of coughing. He gives me a pointed look after I stop coughing, but I know what he is asking. He still wants me to be able to make choices, not feel like I have no say and I love him all the more for it.
I nod and watch as he bites into his wrist and brings it toward my face. I don't hesitate and take several mouthfuls before pulling away. "More," Eric tells me but I shake my head.
"You can't be weak either," I tell him. "If I continue to cough, I'll take more. Pam will need your blood too when she wakes up and you'll need it for tomorrow night."
He doesn't look happy but nods before looking over to Pam. "If only it was that easy for her too," he says, despair clear in his voice. I take his arm in mine and tell him that it will be, as soon as she wakes up.
Our attention is then brought back to the door as Sophie-Anne comes back into the room announcing, "Louisiana is no longer staying at this hotel. They have proven that they cannot guarantee our safety. Another hotel is being searched and checked and we will be moving there as soon as it is deemed safe enough."
I don't know if moving hotels is going to be a good thing or a bad thing, but I am not going to deny that being away from Arkansas is a good thing. "The clan leaders are allowing us to switch hotels," Eric asks.
Sophie-Anne nods before explaining that they are unwilling to allow anything else to happen to weaken any of the states in their clan. They do not want to leave the states open to a takeover from another state – outside of their own clan of course. "They were careful to specify that," she tells us.
"But they will allow turmoil in their own states that make the entire clan weak," Eric says.
"Apparently so," Sophie-Anne responds, before saying that everything will have to be reassessed at the next sundown to see what we have to work with tomorrow night. Pam is still a wildcard and Wybert will be too injured for anything. He hasn't woken up either and though his arm and leg has been reattached, we won't know if he has any use of them until he wakes up. This means the Queen will not be secure tomorrow night so things will have to be shuffled around.
About ten minutes later, we are told the new hotel is ready for us. Eric and I take Pam and Thalia with us in the car as we go to the new hotel. Supposedly, no one will know where we are and instead of being split we will all be together, which has its pros and cons. We are going along with the idea that no one, read Threadgill, will have the opportunity to organize anything in the little bit of time they'll have before we will be back for the ceremony anyway.
We get to the new hotel and go in through the employee entrance. I am happy to see Alcide as soon as we walk through the door. We have had to take some security with us for the day and I am glad that Alcide was able to be one of the Weres they sent over here. He hands two duffle bags to Eric. Felicia had been kind enough to pack a few things for us and should expect what we need for the ceremony to be brought over during the day.
We make our way to our new assigned rooms before separating. Eric, Pam, and myself will be in one room while Thalia was in the one next to us with Clancy and Felicia. We had rooms all through the hallway, the hotel having cleared the floor for us. I offer to let Thalia stay with us but she shakes her head, sadly looking at Pam. I don't think she likes that Pam is still unconscious.
I don't either. And I know that it's driving Eric crazy too.
Eric lays Pam on the bed and starts to get some pajamas out for her. I go into the bathroom and wet a washcloth to start cleaning some of the soot off of Pam. She may be unconscious but she will not be a happy camper if she wakes up dirty. As I start to clean up my friend Eric says, "Pam will be upset she was not awake during this sponge bath," trying to make a joke.
"She'll get her teasing in when she wakes up and finds out about it," I tell him. When I get her as clean as I can, Eric gets her dressed for bed as I go through my human needs. When I come out of the bathroom Eric is getting her comfortable in the bed, the only one in the room. "Slumber party," I say as I get into the other side. Eric levitates himself over Pam and gently lowers himself in between us.
"Yet another thing she will not be happy to find out she missed," he says sadly.
"We may just have to recreate it for her when she wakes up," I tell him. He lets out a little laugh before starting to play with my hair as I lay my head on his chest. "You don't have to do anything more before tomorrow?"
He shakes his head. "There is nothing else more important than what I am doing right now." I hope that is true because though I am beyond happy that he is here with me, with us now, I am hoping for a future of nights where we could be together. And to get that, we have to not only get through tomorrow night alive but we need to make sure we are the winners.
I press a kiss to Eric's chest as he continues to rub my hair. As he starts to hum, I start to pray. I pray that Pam wakes up. I pray that we make it through tomorrow night. I pray that the little family that we have created s has many more nights together.
I just hope that someone is listening.
Hello dear readers. I do hope that you have enjoyed this chapter. I have to thank you all for giving me an early birthday present in nominating the stories of this little trilogy for some awards. You've nominated the first part, Amnesia for the Tissue/Kleenex Award – Best Angst, Roller Coaster Award - Best Drama, and Edge of Your Seat Award - Best Cliffhanger. Then you nominated Love and Memories for Roller Coaster Award - Best Drama. I cannot thank you enough for giving these little tales a try. Thanks so much!