These twice weekly sessions with Doctor Jessica Hartman always begin with the redhead shuffling her vast amounts of paperwork around on her large, oak desk, pausing now and then to glance up at the Detective over the rim of a rather daring pair of green glasses which contrasted starkly with her hair and drew the onlooker's attention with ease. The noise of all those sheets of paper clamoring for her Doctor's unbridled attention always struck Jane as an invitation to battle. And what a war they had waged against one another these past few months.
Granted, Jane had been shocked and quite pleased to see that the previous departmental dusty old shrink had been replaced with this vibrant, younger woman who wouldn't look out of place strutting down a runway in Paris or Milan. However, it soon became clear that Doctor Hartman took everything about her job seriously and was dedicated to the rules and regulations with a diligence that rivaled even Doctor Maura Isles. Rizzoli didn't have anything in particular against these Doctors; they were just doing their jobs after all, but that didn't mean she had to like attending their evaluations.
In the past, these sessions meant sitting there feeling like a complete fool whilst Doctor Frederick took copious amounts of notes despite the fact she barely opened her mouth.
Hartman was having none of that. Communication, communication, communi-fucking-cation was the order of the day, all day, every day. Jane hated having to spell out exactly how she felt or write down her thoughts or explain just why she couldn't sleep at night due to the nightmares consistently reaching into her mind with clammy fingers and shaking her awake. Those were private things she didn't want to air in the office of a stranger. It was difficult enough opening up to Maura and her family, never mind this woman who sat there with a blank expression and scribbled notations in shorthand that Jane couldn't even sneak a glance at because her writing was so freaking tiny and then asked her incredibly irritating questions that she struggled to answer.
In the end, against her better judgment, she actually ended up sort of, kinda, maybe liking the Doctor, with all her eccentric brightly colored clothing and drastically clashing glasses and annoyingly accurate observations. Not that she would ever tell Hartman that, hell no, but still, she appreciated the techniques the woman suggested she employ to overcome the suffocating nightmares and push beyond the barrier she had placed up so strategically to hide her emotions and be able to talk to the people she loved most.
Despite the Doctor's obsession with communication and her tendency to push the Detective into opening up against her will, Jane found that there was at least some common ground between them. Surprisingly, they shared a similar sense of humor, and utilized the art of sarcasm to its fullest advantage. Hartman may not be able to directly voice her annoyance for fear of losing her polished professionalism, but Jane had grown to notice and predict the tiny fluttering in her expression that hinted at the irritation just below the surface. It had become a ritual for the two women to engage in a war of wills that extended far beyond Jane's trauma and into the realms of one-up-man-ship.
Detective Rizzoli reveled in generating a caustic remark from the almost unflappable Doctor. At first it had been her way of rebelling against the treatment prescribed 'in her best interests,' but now it was more of an affectionate game. Jane didn't quite feel the same need to keep the Doctor from prying into her thoughts and emotions as she had done originally, and had become adept at exposing enough of her thoughts to keep Hartman from losing what sliver of patience she retained for the stubborn Detective.
The younger woman raised her eyebrows as she read through the assignment she had given to Jane at the end of their last session. Rizzoli looked on with a narrowed gaze as the Doctor casually thumbed through the two sheets of loose paper that Jane hurriedly scribbled her notes upon the night before. Jane knew exactly what that expression meant and hid a satisfied smirk. The Doctor was pleased. And she had every right to be so. When these sessions first began the redhead had been suitably appalled at the lack of care Jane previously received after the traumatic and hectic events that had plagued both her personal life and career.
If she were to be entirely honest and upfront with herself, Jessica was surprised that the young Detective was as emotionally stable as she was, considering all that she had been through. Even the fact that she was still standing, still able to function with a semblance of her former self was testament to the inner strength that resided within her patient.
Jane Rizzoli was the type of woman who resented psychiatric treatment, who regarded the entire process as being a waste of her valuable time, and that even the simple act of attending these sessions was a confession of weakness. Spilling forth her problems into the waiting ears of a stranger was something that turned the Detective's stomach. After three sessions with the Jane, Hartman had been close to transferring the case to someone with more experience. She had only recently been appointed as the departmental psychiatrist and hadn't yet handled anyone who had suffered as much as Detective Rizzoli.
It was a matter of both women growing to understand that this journey could be the defining moment of their careers thus far. Doctor Hartman felt the burning need to heal, and so she decided to continue working with the traumatized Detective. And she was so incredibly thankful that she made that call. It was clear that Jane now trusted her, or at least trusted her enough to confide in her, and she never even considered that a possibility during the early stages.
"Well Jane," Doctor Hartman said slowly, dragging the tip of a pencil under one particular line that had reached out and captured her attention before glancing up at her patient, "I have to say, I'm impressed." She quirked her head to one side with a slight smirk, "Who knew you had such a way with words?"
Jane chuckled lightly, raising a scarred hand to her mouth and rubbing along the side of her jaw. She had previously admitted that even merely lifting the corners of her lips into a smile for too long started a twinge of pain in there somewhere that transformed into an ache soon after. "Well," the Detective said, "You inspired me." The mocking nature of her drawl might have offended the Doctor in any other instance, but she had grown used to the prickly Detective, and only responded with a roll of her eyes.
"Good, I'm so glad we're finally reaching an understanding Detective, it's only taken… What?"
Jane growled, "Two months, six days and…" The brunette paused for a second, mentally calculating the final piece of the puzzle before triumphantly adding, "Twenty one hours since we first began."
"Not that you've been keeping track or anything…" Hartman smirked.
Jane shrugged, "Not at all," she quipped back.
"I'm pleased with your progress Jane, you've done everything I've asked of you and more. You should be proud of what you've managed to achieve in this short period of time. It's an ongoing process, we know that…" At the first sign of the blush creeping up Jane's cheeks the Doctor changed tactic, "But now that you've opened up to your family again, you're more invested in these sessions with me… And I'm assured that your physiotherapy's been going extremely well…"
Rizzoli shifted in her chair, slightly uncomfortable with the praise, "Yeah, apparently my shoulder's almost as good as new. Everything else has pretty much healed up; it twinges now and then but aside from that…" She shrugged, "I'm relieved to be able to take care of myself again."
Jessica nodded thoughtfully, removing her glasses and giving them a thorough polish, allowing Jane a moment with her own mind, "I think we can agree that your independence is of utmost importance to you, I'm glad you feel like you've captured that again," After another brief few seconds of silence, she added, "And how is your relationship with Doctor Isles? From reading your assignment it seems like it's going rather well…" Hartman couldn't resist lifting the tone of her voice at the end of that sentence suggestively. After wrestling with the Detective's residual concerns about her sexuality and indeed helping her understand that this was a positive change in her life, she did feel invested in their relationship somewhat. Despite the fact some of her colleagues may regard that as being unprofessional, Jessica would be the first to admit that her methodology had never been what was universally known as 'orthodox.'
The blush that had been threatening to light up the Detective's face now came to fruition. She cleared her throat loudly before jerking her head in the affirmative, "Yeah… Uh, it's going good. I wrote it down for you…"
Hartman smiled, "Yes, but I would like to hear it directly from you Detective," she replied sweetly, much to Jane's chagrin.
"After that discussion we had a few back, the one I told you about," Jessica nodded and Rizzoli pressed on, "We've been talking more, making sure that if something is bothering us we tell the other about it. I remind myself every day that I wasn't the only one affected by this… That Maura and my family suffered too. It's been hard, I'm not gonna deny that… But it's also been worth it. I can look forward to things now. A couple of months ago I couldn't see myself ever being able to say that, but I can. I can say that I'm looking forward to experiencing and doing things with Maura, things that…" Jane paused, feeling herself start to choke up, "That I might never have gotten the courage to ask her to do. I'm looking forward to celebrating TJ's birthday, I'm looking forward to going back to work, I'm looking forward to…"
Detective Jane Rizzoli pushed back her unruly hair and really looked at the woman who helped her through so much. She met her eyes and stared, unblinking, willing her to see the emotion held within, "I'm looking forward to living. And I have to thank you for pushing me in the right direction with that."
Although touched, Doctor Hartman shrugged off the gratitude with a gentle smile and said, "I'm just doing my job Detective. One last thing before time's up…" She glanced down at the sheet of paper she previously marked with her pencil and sought out the highlighted line, "This… Part of your assignment, this bit…" She tapped one finger against the paper and shook her head.
Jessica quoted, "'After going through something like that, it's okay to be lost for a little while, Doctor Hartman, Maura, my family, they all taught me that being lost is okay. The most important thing is to find your way back, and I think I've finally done that.'"
After falling silent, the Doctor drew something towards her and lifted a pen, holding it in the air for a moment before signing her name with a flourish. She held it out to the Detective, who took it from her with a confused look.
"That line has convinced me to sign this form," Hartman said, "You'll still attend these sessions with me, but you'll also begin the process of re-introduction to active duty as soon as you've been cleared physically," The grin that broke out on Jane's face was wide enough to make the Doctor laugh out loud, "As I said, this is an ongoing process, but you're ready for the next stage. Congratulations Detective, get outta here and celebrate."
A/N: So sorry for the delay. We've got about two or three chapters to go, and then that's that! Hope you enjoyed.