CHAPTER 36: The Mask We Adorn
A/N: This chapter contains abuse, sexual abuse, and alcoholism. You have been warned.
Sooooo... Raven Branwen... a very dear, dear friend of mine. Hell, I'd say mother. See here's the thing, she's one tough cookie. That woman has one tough exterior, everything about her is extreme.
That woman has been through some—pardon my language—shit that we could barely even understand. What she grew up in, she needed to be extreme, she needed to develop her resilient scales, her mask. She had to hide her pain, misery and make the best out of what she could, for the sake of her twin.
Yet even then, there are always chinks in the armor.
The four enjoyed their embrace, as they realized that one of their own was deeply wounded.
"Raven," Qrow nodded down the hallway, "I think it's your time."
The glanced down the hallway before shifting her gaze back to her brother, "God, you make it sound like he's the Grim Reaper," she joked.
Raven turned to the others, "You guys ready?"
The other two nodded, "Right," Raven muttered under her breath as she walked down the hallway, flanked by her brother.
"Just be honest," he advised, "don't hold anything back and everything will be fine."
"I hope you know we're going to have a very long talk after all of this is done."
It was no easy tasking trying to relieve one's memory. More so, memories that should have been forgotten. The walk down the hallway felt like an eternity as Raven ran the story through her mind; she focused on what events she might be asked.
"You got this." Summer urged her.
"Nothing to worry about," her husband reassured her.
Upon reaching the office, Ironwood gestured for them to retake their seats. As they sat down, Ironwood pulled out another file and placed it in front of him. With a click, he was ready to start. "You ready?" He asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Raven sighed.
*CLICK*
"Dr. Ironwood interviewing Raven Branwen. So, is it true you're the sister of Qrow Branwen?" He asked even though he already knew the answer.
"I am."
"So can you describe, in your own words, what life was like when you were growing up?"
"You mean, 'how shitty was home?'" Her voice was filled with bitterness.
"Yes, I suppose." Ironwood pushed.
She 'hmphed' in response, "Yeah. it wasn't easy having to raise Qrow while growing up, but I managed to the best of my abilities."
Qrow and Raven 8 years old
Ramen… again… Raven lamented as she watched the water boil with Qrow sat on a bar stool. "Sorry, Qrow. Look's like we're having Ramen again." She said dejectedly as she stirred the large pot full of ramen, the boiling water simmered as she stirred the noodles. Unappetizing plastic noodles, it made her want to gag.
The boy simply shrugged from his stool, "I don't mind." He tried to remain cheerful for the both of them.
She let out a short chortle, "Come on… I know that's a lie." She shot him a knowing smirk.
With a slightly embarrassed look on his face, he sank into his arm and rested his chin on his arms. "Yeah. I don't like plastic."
She snapped her fingers, "Well, why don't we make them less garbagey." She turned the stove off.
"What are you goin' to do?" He popped his head up with raised eyebrows.
"Nothing," she said as she stooped down as she pulled a hair clip from her ponytail which caused her hair to cascade down her back. With her tongue stuck out, she inserted the bobby pin into the lock as she pressed her ear up against the door.
"You aren't supposed to be in there, Rae!" Qrow protested, "Dad isn't going to be happy!"
"Shhh Qrow."
She fiddled it around until she heard a click. A smile grew on her face as she opened up the door and rummaged through the pantry. "That'll do," She muttered, her eyes transfixed on the jar of pasta sauce. With jar in hand, she closed the door and walked over to the counter placing the jar in front of Qrow.
"You can't! He'll find out!" he protested.
She rolled her eyes as she walked over to the pot and drained the water from the noodles. "And, I'll deal with it." She countered, "It's only one jar. He's got like four in there; he isn't going to miss one."
She grabbed two plates and dished out the noodles, making sure that Qrow got an extra serving. With the jar opened, she poured the sauce on, adding some salt and pepper. "Here you, go." She handed him the plate and sat beside him. "The best, if I dare say so."
He took a bite, "Definitely better than plastic."
She smirked as she tried to hide her resentment. The fact that they had to live under such crappy conditions made her angry. Very angry. Yet she didn't want it to show for Qrow's sake. No… the only thing that made living in this hell remotely worth it was indeed her brother.
"Well of course it is." She gave him a knuckle rub, "I made it."
After the two had dinner, Qrow moved to the living room while Raven washed the dishes.
*SLAM*
A car door was slammed shut.
"Here it goes…" She muttered to herself as she put the plate and sponge down. She craned her neck out to see Qrow looking back at her.
"Go upstairs. I got it." He wanted to protest; she saw it in his eyes, "Qrow. Go." There was no room for negotiation in her voice. Once she heard his footsteps upstairs, she exhaled, preparing for a rather typical conversation with her father. With a sense of dread, she watched as the door opened.
As usual, her father stalked in with a look of irritability. The tall, slender man's red, lifeless eyes met with Raven's more vibrant, youthful eyes. "What are you doing?" He asked in a spite-filled tone.
"Just had dinner." She answered neutrally as she stood her ground.
The man stalked into the kitchen; his eyes transfixed on the sink and plates. He violently jerked around to glare down at his daughter, "Where's my plate?" His voice dropped lower, darker. She didn't answer. What was she going to say? Go fuck yourself? How she would love to say if she wouldn't be beaten for such "lack of respect."
"So… let me get this straight…." He said as he walked over to the sink and took one of the plates into his hands. "You eat my food," he turned to his eight-year-old daughter, "in my kitchen. Without my permission, and you don't even bother to make me anything? Then you leave a mess in my kitchen and don't even bother to clean it up?"
"I was in the middle-"
*SMACK*
She blinked away the tear caused by the sudden blow. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of crying. "You don't get to back talk me."
Oh yeah? She stared up at him with a defiant glare, "I was in the middle of cleaning up before you showed up."
*SMACK*
"Show me some damn respect!" He yelled as she bowed her head in submission.
"I'm sorry, father."
*CRASH*
He dropped the ceramic plate on the ground causing it to shatter. "Clean that up. Now." He brushed past her, "I expect dinner in an hour."
Her two angry crimson eyes flashed with fire as she watched her father turn to face her, "And if I catch the pantry open again, I'll break your wrists. You stole that food. My children will not be thieving degenerates."
As he left the kitchen; she let out a defeated sigh. At least he didn't use the belt, she thought to herself as she grabbed the dustpan and broom. Yet a bubble of resentment bubbled up in her mind.
You didn't earn that food? You earn things. If it came from her father, it was usually a beating and usually with the belt. Sometimes it got more violent, yet Raven took the brunt of it, thankfully. Yet how did Raven and Qrow earn any of this?
He was a cruel man, he didn't earn the right to be called 'Dad,' Hell, how the heck did he earn the right to become a father. He clearly didn't deserve it. Best keep that to yourself. She thought as swept the floor.
"What the hell did I say!" She looked up to see her father watching her with angry eyes, "I want dinner now."
"Sorry…" Raven feigned submission, "I was cleaning up my mess." Though in her heart, she kept track of reality. Not my mess. Not my mess. Not my mess.
Raven chuckled, "You if one thing could be said about our father, he would have been a good Nazi. The bastard didn't give us food, we had to work for it, and he kept tabs on it."
"Why would you compare your father to a Nazi?" Ironwood asked in a fascinated voice.
"Are you familiar with Dachau?" Raven asked as she crossed her arms.
Ironwood nodded, "I am, but for the record, could you please explain?"
"Dachau was one of the more notorious concentration camps in Nazi Germany. As a sick joke, they placed a slogan at the front of the camp saying 'Arbeit Macht Frei,' which translates to 'Work sets you free.' Pretty sick if you ask me, but it applied to the both us. If we made ourselves useful, we got fed and we weren't beaten as much. If he thought we were lazy or hell, if he were bored, he'd beat us just for the joy of it. Sounds pretty sadistic to me."
"So your father was abusive?" Ironwood asked.
"An understatement," she countered.
"And how did that affect you?"
Deep in thought, she tapped her chin in thought while leaning back in her chair. How wouldn't it? She thought to herself. The beatings, the shouting, the swearing, the neglect, the lack of human compassion, all of it was enough to break someone, anyone, especially kids.
"It makes you angry." She said in a hushed voice, "You start to think 'what did I do to deserve this?'" She turned to Qrow, "Now I wasn't angry at Qrow, far from it, he was my only connection to my humanity,"
She turned back to Ironwood, "Yet after years and years of being told that you're a bitch, You're a lazy sack of shit, and everything else under the sun, while being beat, that really messes with you." She shook her head in remembrance, "I hated my father, I hated myself for watching Qrow get hurt and feeling utterly powerless. I hated everyone who had normal, "peachy" lives. Why should I bother with them? My sole focus was on making sure Qrow and I got out of that house, the world be damned."
"Was foster care any better?"
Dead silence as the adults shifted uncomfortably. The only who didn't budge was Raven who sat there like a stone statue. There was a pause.
"No."
Three weeks at Uncle Crane's new home was unsettling, to say the least. The man looked like her father, yet was a bit shorter, sporting a goatee, and the trademark crimson eyes. She paced back and forth in the room she shared with Qrow. She refused the offer of her own room, which Qrow didn't protest. He was under her protection, not his.
"Rae, you can relax. He isn't anything like dad." Qrow sat up.
That may or may not be true, but she wouldn't let her guard down. "He's just waiting for us to crack." She muttered under her breath.
"Can you please just relax?" Qrow stood up, reached out with his hand, and took her by the wrist. "We're in a new town. New people, a new life."
Maybe he's right. She stopped, her gaze drifted upward. "New people?" She asked hesitantly.
"Yeah… that girl… uhhh… I think Summer was her name."
She 'hmphed' in response. "Yeah…. She tried to talk to me the past couple of days." She pulled away from her brother, "I don't like her."
"She's nice." Qrow defended her in a shy voice.
"She's a stranger."
"I saw you talking to that blonde boy." Qrow countered.
"I told him to screw off." She smirked. "Tai is just an idiot." Yet, her smirk fell off. "We don't need others, we just need each other."
*KNOCK KNOCK*
"May I come in?" The sweet, kind voice of Uncle Crane came in.
"Yeah." Raven crossed her arms as she moved to the front of Qrow to shield him if anything were to happen.
Crane walked in with a camera in hand. He smiled as he lifted up the camera.
*CLICK*
"What are you doing?" Raven growled.
The man shrugged with a warm, innocent smile, "Taking a picture."
"Why?" Raven demanded, her frown grew larger.
His smile only became more sincere. "Because I want us to remember our first movie night out as a family."
Movie what now?
"A movie night?" She asked hesitantly which seemed to amuse the man.
"You know, the movies, like the theatre. My treat."
She could feel Qrow's hand on her shoulder causing her relax her somewhat. "We'd love to go." He spoke for them.
"Qrow-" She warned her brother.
The man crouched down to be eye level with Raven who did not nor could not back down, "I get it." He said sincerely, "My brother wasn't the kindest father. Trust me, he wasn't the kindest brother to me. But you're here now, with family. I will show you the love that my brother should have gave you."
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, unwilling to believe him.
Qrow leaned in, "Please, Rae, just ease up."
She exhaled as she shook her head. "Fine." Maybe Qrow is right.
"Now, can I get a smile?" He smiled.
Her red eyes looked around the room, alas she couldn't stand the spotlight and relented. Her frown lightened up and turned up ever so slightly until she had a modest smile.
*SNAP*
"You look so beautiful when you smile."
*SNAP*
*Modern Day*
"This Uncle Crane, he doesn't seem to be a bad guy. He seemed to want you to be happy." Ironwood noted cautiously. Apparently, he wasn't cautious enough.
"That man," Raven voice dropped down into something dark, "was a predator. A ruthless, God-forsaken predator."
"What do you mean?"
"He was an animal. A very smart animal. He waited and was patient just like a wolf. He wanted us… me… feel comfortable, to let our guard down. That's when he attacked."
"What do you mean?"
Qrow and Raven 12 Years Old
A good six months had passed with Raven feeling more relaxed, more at ease. Uncle Crane seemed to be a nice enough guy. He seemed to actually care about Qrow and her. He never yelled at them, never beat them, never did anything to upset them.
He was the complete opposite of their father. The only thing that was just unusual was that he enjoyed his photos and especially forbid them from going down the basement. For this kind of treatment, she easily agreed to the rule.
One night, they sat around the kitchen table eating their dinner. The room was comfortably silent as they dug into their dinners. Even (insert time frame), food was a delicacy. "Hey Qrow, you want to make some money?"
He instantly perked up, "Sure!"
"Mrs. O'Donald wanted to know if you could help her cut her grass? She said she'd pay twenty bucks."
That was a lot of money which kind of bummed her a bit. "Don't worry, sis." He said with a cheerful tone, "I'll share."
"No need." Crane wiped his mouth with a napkin, "Raven can help around the house, if she doesn't mind, of course. I'll pay."
Raven simply nodded, accepting the offer.
With that, they finished their meals. Qrow headed out the front door as she sat in the kitchen. She already started to miss Qrow. It was bad enough that the school broke the two up, but being separated from him scared her. "Relax, Raven." Crane went to the fridge pulling out a pitcher. "He'll be back."
She drummed her fingers in anticipation as she looked out the window. "Yeah…" She exhaled sadly.
"Here…" She turned to look at the glass in front of her. "This should make you happy."
It was a rather generous tall glass of grape juice. She picked it up, took a quick swig seeing that Crane did the same. It was really sweet. It was so sweet that she decided to down the entire cup.
Her uncle sat in front of her, hand on top of his other. "You know, you look just like your mother."
She blinked, she didn't know her mother. There were never pictures of her in the household. "I… I didn't know her."
"She was a stunning woman." Crane said with a fond memory. "Gorgeous beyond belief."
Something was off…. She felt dizzy, almost lightheaded. "I… erm… I… don't feel so good..."
"She shouldn't have been mine. You know that? I bet your father told you that." His voice became darker. "She was mine. That bastard stole her from me."
She felt sick, sick to her stomach. She stood up, clutching her stomach only to lose her footing causing her to collapse to the ground with painful *thud*
She could see her uncle with that camera. That camera pointed right down at her.
"You're so beautiful." He said sweetly. "You look just like her."
"GOD DAMN IT! SMILE!"
Someone was crying, and it made her sad, sad enough for her to start crying.
"GOD DAMN IT! STOP!"
A constant throb pulsed in her head causing two crimson eyes opened. The room was dark, really dark. Hearing shuffling behind her, she lifted herself up to reveal that she wasn't wearing her usual black sweater and jeans. Now she was wearing her undershirt and shorts which startled her. It made her sick to the stomach, sick to the bone.
"Raven…?" She turned her head to see Qrow by her bed. "A-a-are you alright?"
She looked herself over one more time before taking a look at her brother. That's when he saw the bruises around his eyes. "I shouldn't have left Raven, I shouldn't have…. I'm soo sorry."
It didn't make sense, none of this made sense. She cupped her hand around Qrow's cheek. "What happened?" She demanded to know, tossing aside her confusion.
Qrow's eyes brimmed with tears as he wrapped his arms around her. "I… I was sent back when it started to rain. When I came in….." He shook violently while tears cascaded down his cheeks, "H-h-h-e was on top of you," He stuttered, "taking pictures… You were…. Awake and I called out to you… but you didn't say anything. You just stared at the ceiling. You didn't say anything… you… I'm so sorry! You were crying! I just…."
Her muscles tensed up. She couldn't remember any of this which caused her to lose all track of reality. Her mind was just a black void, the last thing she really remembered was her uncle saying You look just like your mother.
She pushed Qrow away immediately as she threw up on the ground. She felt cold, absolutely frozen. Just devoid of any warmth at all.
You look just your mother. She threw up again.
And again.
Until there was nothing to come out as she rolled over to her side. "I'm sooooo sorry," She heard Qrow repeat every few seconds. "He started to hit you when you didn't look at him…." His voice trembled. "When I told him to stop… He hit me… said that if I told anyone, he'd kill you."
Anger.
Anger.
Sorrow.
Stupidity.
She grabbed the pillow on her bed, buried her face into her pillow as she let out a pained muffled shriek. She screamed and screamed unable to see her crying brother. In some sick way, she hoped that the pillow would be enough suffocate her.
*Modern Day*
She was exhausted, mentally and physically exhausted from remembering that. Remembering all of that. She still remembered the pictures. "We can stop, if you want." Ironwood offered.
Tai's jaw practically dropped to the ground, "Rae…. God… I didn't… God... I'm so sorry."
She offered a weak smile, "It's fine."
"It's not fine!" Her husband stood up only to be yanked back down by his wife. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"What was I going to say?" She grew angry, "Yeah, hi, my uncle liked to drug me and take photos of me because I look like a woman that I never met? That's a great first impression."
Tai's eyes just stared at his wife in complete and utter amazement. It took him a few moments to recover, "No, that isn't what I meant…"
"There are just somethings you can't talk about, Tai." Raven shut down the conversation. Her gaze returned by to Ironwood who lightly cleared his throat.
"So did you ever get out?"
"The Rose family." Raven answered looking over at her friend, "They got us out of it."
"Did you tell them?" Ironwood asked.
"Not exactly…"
Raven and Qrow- 8 months with Uncle Crane
It was during a snowstorm. The two trudged through the icy cold wind. She gripped Qrow's hand tightly, she didn't want to lose him in this god forsaken snow storm. After two miles of walking, they reached the Rose residence. On the front porch waited Raven and Qrow's new friend and confidant, Summer Rose wrapped tightly in her white cloak.
*THUD*
Once they reached the fence, Qrow collapsed to the ground in sheer exhaustion. Raven dropped down, "Qrow. Come on… A few more feet."
"I can't….." He croaked in better haggard breaths, "I…. can't…. I….. can't….. I… can't."
Thankfully, Summer ran out to the snow, "Help me lift him up." Raven said as pulled him up. Both girls took one arm and draped over their shoulders and helped him up to the porch.
"Hang in there, Qrow." Summer urged.
"Almost…." Raven panted as her legs became more and more exhausted and strained.
Upon reaching the porch, they put Qrow down. Once he was down, her legs gave out as she fell on the hardwood. Who knew something so hard felt so comfortable compared to trudging through the snow? "Now of all days?!" Summer protested as she plopped down beside Raven.
The black-haired girl propped herself up on her elbows. "It was bad. Real bad." She inhaled sharply as she lowered her hood, even with it up, her black hair managed to be covered in a few snowflakes.
"You could have died out of there!" Summer protested, she blinked as she stared at her nose. It looked as if it were broken, which was supported by all the dried up blood. "Is that a broken nose?!"
While Raven didn't care about her prospects, it was Qrow that she cared for. Summer was right… They could have died due to temperature or a car accident, even getting lost in near invisibility. "Yeah…" She admitted with an exhausted, haggard breath.
She immediately felt the arms of her friend wrap around her, "Well you're safe now!"
She was still very unaccustomed to hugs, especially from new people. It was made the worse with Uncle Crane. Yet Raven hesitantly returned it. "Summer," She hoisted herself up on wobbly legs, "Thank you."
Raven moved to Qrow, tapping his cheek. "Hey… time to get you warmed up."
"I can't." He murmured with closed eyes. And so with the help of Summer, the two girls managed to help him inside. However, even though they were safe from Crane as well as the weather, the Branwen were still on high alert. They couldn't let their circumstances slip.
"Parents?" Raven asked.
"Dad is in the garage, mom's in the kitchen." Summer grunted as she opened the door. "We have to be quiet." she whispered.
"About what?" The matriarch of the Rose family said, her arms crossed. Her own silver eyes looking at the girl with a warm smile. Raven felt her blood turn cold as her frown dissipated quickly.
"Qrow? Raven?" She stepped up looking at each of the Branwen twins. Now, Raven had nothing against Astrid Rose, but she was not comfortable with any adult getting close to them. "What happened? Why are you even here… in a blizzard?" She looked down each one.
"We were dropped off." Raven lied.
"By our parents." Qrow muttered, unable to lift his head up, at this point he was on his two feet, with the help of Summer.
"They walked here." Summer admitted.
Raven turned her head, hiding her black eye from the woman. "What happened to your nose?" She brushed her hand against Raven's cheek causing the girl to immediately to pull away. "Jesus, Raven... Qrow… what happened…" She muttered.
Please don't notice it. Please don't notice it. Please don't notice it. Raven's heart sank.
"You two go to the living room. Summer, make them hot chocolate. I'm getting your father." The woman stormed out.
The world slowly spiraled out of Raven's fingers tips. She should have known that she couldn't have kept it a secret. "No…. No… No….." Tears fell down her cheek.
Summer moved beside her desperately thinking of a way to console her friend. She couldn't wrap her mind around what might cause this for the usually stoic girl. "Raven… I'm so sorry. I didn't want to this to happen. I'm so sorry!"
"Shut up!" Two glaring red eyes locked on with sorrowful silver. "What did you tell them!?"
"Nothing!" Summer pleaded, "I told her nothing!"
"LIAR!" Raven shot back vehemently with a vicious look.
"Rae…" She fury faded away when her brother called out her name. She turned to face him, "You know Summer would never betray us." Qrow rationalized in an exhausted tone.
"But-"
"But what?" He stood up straighter without the assistance of Summer. "You knew just as much as I did that this wouldn't—couldn't last forever."
Deep down, she knew. She knew better than anyone. No matter the preparation, no matter the planning, no matter back up plans, when confronted with reality, plans often fell apart. Guilt crept into her heart as she turned away to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Raven, don't be." Summer placed a hand on her shoulder. "I just want to help." She took each Branwen's hand and led them to the living room. Once they sat down, Summer darted back into the kitchen yelling, "I'll make some hot chocolate!"
With that Astrid and Noah Rose came into the living room. "Jesus. What happened to the both of you?" Officer Noah Rose muttered as he dropped to eye level. "Who did this?" He cupped her chin lightly causing her to rip away.
He held his hands up, "Sorry. Sorry."
Qrow leaned in, "Now or never."
The two looked at each other as if they fighting a war just through their eyes. Raven would not back down, at this point, it was just about buying time for her to make up a believable excuse.
Noah cleared his throat, "I want to help. I really want to help out, but I can't do that if you don't talk to me. Was is it your mom? Your dad?" He asked.
"We don't have parents," Qrow admitted meekly which earned the scorn of his sister.
"Qrow…." She warned.
"Now, Raven, do you want to protect your brother? Or yourself?" Astrid Rose asked with a concerned voice.
She caught in a bine. A very difficult bine that either option was bad. A. She could lie, try to make up some clever story, or B. Confess. Option A: Meant they were still in a bad position. As long as Raven was compliant, Crane wasn't that bad… yet, and Qrow wasn't beaten as badly, only enough to ensure that he won't talk. Yet B… it offered her a way out, it would stop the pictures… and it would stop her from hurting, but the unknown. They already landed with their Uncle Crane, what if they got moved to someone far more worse. She already had first hand experience of humans at their worst, but from her experience, humans can much more cruel. Was she willing to subject her brother to that kind of punishment?
No.
"It was our uncle, Crane." Qrow confessed.
She blinked as she turned her head. He spoke for them. He admitted the truth. He told the police. How could he? How could he betray her trust like that? They made a pact, just the two of them and no one else. She could handle Crane. Yet this? She was screwed now.
She brought her knees up to her head, balling herself up. "Raven? Astrid asked.
"Look for the basement," Raven muttered from her knees. "You'll find the pictures."
With that, Summer finally arrived with the hot chocolate to see her parents completely in shock, Raven crying with Qrow hugging her.
Modern Day
"So what happened?" Ironwood asked.
"Officer Noah Rose. He allowed us to stay with them. He obtained a search warrant, and that's when he found the basement."
"And what was in the basement."
"That pervert's paradise. That's where he kept all of his photos of me." Raven murmured.
Ironwood cleared his throat, "Were you ever…? Did he do anything beyond taking pictures?"
Raven shook her head, "Besides the beatings and drugging? No." She stated flatly.
"Are you sure?"
Raven nodded resolutely, "When the Rose family took me in, they took me to a doctor for a checkup, it's in the medical file. I was never—" Ironwood raised his hand to interrupt her.
"Thank you. I'm sorry for bringing that up."
Raven shrugged, "All a part of the job." Deep down she wanted to throw up. She wanted to leave. She wanted to runaway from all of this. How could she though? Those memories needed to die. Those memories constantly ate at her, controlled her, influenced her. Those memories shaped who she was. Despite all of the walls she put, all of the concrete she poured to block out the memories, her memories slowly eroded those. All it needed was something to knock the wall downs from the other side, the good side.
From the corner of her eye, she could see that Summer was dumbfounded. Completely lost for words as she zoned out into space, most likely trying to process everything.
"So what happened to you and Qrow?" Ironwood asked.
"We were taken in. Officially adopted by the Rose family." Raven smiled towards her friend. "It was the best thing that could have ever happened."
She could see Tai though, he looked as if he were about to go ballistic. How could he be left out of the loop? Weren't they married? Weren't they supposed to know each other fully and completely? All the times he'd been over to Summer, Raven and Qrow were also with her… they dooped him for years...
"You felt comfortable?" Ironwood pushed.
"As comfortable as I could ever get given what we've been through."
"You kept your last name, Branwen, why?"
Taiyang and Summer looked at both the twins as if they pondered this question many times before. Raven never answered and brushed off the question, assuring her husband it wasn't because of infidelity.
Welp time to answer that question now. "When we spent the night there, Qrow and I made a promise. We didn't want the Branwen name to carry on after us. It brought us too much pain and misery. We might be able to restore the name, but we won't curse our children with it."
"But it would have worked with Mr. Xiao-Long… You'd be Mrs. Xiao-Long," Ironwood observed.
Raven nodded as did her best to ignore the stares, "True, but I needed a reminder of where I came from. I needed to make sure I knew where I came from. It was the one thing I didn't want my husband to share in. Hell, I made sure I didn't even name my kid. I wanted Tai to name our girl, me naming my kid might have cursed this entire family." She felt the touch of her husband as he entwined his fingers with hers. Hopefully, he understood all of the secrecy.
Hopefully.
Her crimson eyes followed the man's hand as he pulled out a folder. "Let's switch gears, if you don't mind."
"Sure."
"The four of you lived together after high school."
"We did. Tai was going to medical school. Summer was going to a police academy. Qrow and I were going into teaching careers."
"How'd it go?" Ironwood asked.
"Not too bad. Felt natural living together, like a family. Tai and me, Qrow and Summ, we were all happy… well as happy as I could be at the time. That was until Qrow decided to drop school and enlist... That was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, considering all of the shit we've been through."
Raven and Qrow 21 Senior Year of College, Last Semester.
Two armed filled with groceries, a lot of groceries, too many, some might say. Definitely too many if she couldn't get the door, so she did what seemed to be the most brilliant thing ever. She kicked the door several times.
"Coming Coming! Hold your horses!" She heard a distinctly muffled voice. Once the front door opened, one of the bags was ripped out of her hands by her long-term boyfriend, Taiyang. "Hey honey!" He pecked her on the cheek.
"Hey, yourself." She walked in while Tai held the door open. As usual, the living room was a scattered mess with everyone owning their own little mess of a paradise. Textbooks, packets, forms, worksheets, and all other school crap littered the room.
"Where's Qrow and Summ?" Raven asked as she placed the groceries on the counter.
"On a date," Tai said as he dug through one of the bags, "Oh you're the best!" He pulled out a bottle of cherry Pepsi. "Seriously, I have the best girlfriend ever."
She rolled her eyes when she moved back into the living room. She found her nook, with four textbooks and three massively oversized binders. "Flattery will get you nowhere."
"Fudge biscuits." Tai jumped over the couch, landing with a plop.
"That's really gross, if you think about it…" Raven looked up from her binder with a contemplative look. "A fudge biscuit… just eww…"
"Sounds delicious," Tai corrected, "So what's on your agenda?"
Raven blinked at the man as if she heard the dumbest question ever, "what isn't? My PDE midterm evaluation is coming up in two weeks. I'm behind on lesson plans. I still need to do my self-diagnostic assessment. That's not even mentioning the fact that I'm behind a week's worth of reading! Oh and that band competition in Maryland. We've got practice, and I'm expected to lead the percussion, no pressure-"
"Oh yeah!" Tai face-palmed. "I get free tickets, right?"
Her mouth quirked upward, "God you really are cheap…. Yeah, you do. Qrow gets them too."
*SLAM!*
The two immediately turned towards the front door.
"YOU ARE SO UNBELIEVABLE!" An enraged Summer stormed into the house, ignoring her two friends in the living room.
Qrow chased after her as he pleaded, "Summer… hold on… just hear me out!"
*SLAM*
Apparently Summer didn't want to hear.
What the hell did you do? Raven lamented as she watched her brother deflate, his down and shoulders sagged. "Buddy, what did you do?"
"I... " he shuffled in, "might have made her angry."
Raven closed her binder and dropped it on the table. She crossed her arms as she raised an expectant eyebrow. "Qrow, what did you do?"
"I might have… told her things…" He sighed as he dropped into a chair. He couldn't keep eye contact as he ran through his hand through his hair.
"Qrow…" Raven leaned in, "what did you say? Please tell me you didn't break up with her."
"I might as well have." He shook his head as he stared at the floor.
"Oh Jesus, Qrow." Raven sighed. "What did you do?"
"I… … … … …" He mumbled under his breath.
"Buddy, you were mumbling." Tai cupped his ear.
"I'm joining the military." Qrow barely spoke up.
That couldn't be right. No. That just couldn't be right. She must have misheard that. "Heh…" Tai chuckled awkwardly, "That's a good joke buddy. Pretty good joke, right Rae?"
Raven could feel her throat clench up, her hands clammy. "Tai, I'm not joking. I enlisted." He narrowed his eyebrows.
Just like that, she lost it. "Qrow, what the literal fuck!?" She stood up nearly knocking over the table. "Where the fuck did this fucking come from? What about your fucking career?" She hissed looming over him as they locked eyes. One pair of extremely livid, fiery eyes beaming down unyielding and determined crimson eyes. "What about fucking family?"
He didn't yield as he looked up to his sister. "I already filled out the paper for a leave of absence."
That only made her angrier. He'd been planning this. This wasn't a sudden decision and he didn't tell her. It even made her angrier when he ignored the whole aspect of family. "You can't just up and walk away."
"I talked to my co-op teacher. I got a Withdrawal for the course," He explained.
"You son of a bitch." Raven snarled.
"Rae, hold up."
She whipped her head towards Tai, "Stay the fuck out of this Tai. This is family."
"Rae…" She could see the shock in his eyes.
"Get out." Raven demanded, "This is between me and him."
"Raven…" His voice sounded unsure, almost timid.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE GOD DAMN ROOM, TAI!" She roared as her blood demanded action. She watched as the man got up slowly and backed out of the room with his hands raised, her fury blinded her to the look of pure betrayal. Yet her fury consumed all thought. Now her fury, her pain, her betrayal from the years of anguish as a child all came out at the one person who did not deserve. She whirled around at her target.
"What gives you the right?"
Qrow stood up, standing up to his sister. "What gave me the right?" he asked incredulously, "It's my fucking life. What I do with my life is my own business. You don't control me!"
Without any hesitation, her hand grabbed him by the collar pulling his face in. "You son of a bitch! What about Summer? Did you think about her?" She snarled.
No answer.
"Or Tai?"
No answer.
"Did you ever think about me? How I might feel?"
No answer. Just the same passive, neutral, nearly lifeless stare.
"ANSWER ME!" She roared at the top of her lungs as her hate, anger, and pain poured out.
Still no answer as her grip on his collar only tightened. It only hurt more seeing the cold, passive stare. It made her blood erupt. She raised a fist as her body and mind screamed to strike. "ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!"
"You want to hit me?" He finally spoke, looking her in the eye. "Fine. Hit me. I deserve it."
She wanted to. She desperately wanted to.
Then the memories came back with vengeance, with bloody fury. A large lump formed in her throat. Her grip slackened as she pulled away. She turned her back, unable to face him, "If you want to betray the only family that has ever loved you, fine. You want to fucking runaway? Fine. Go. It's clear I never mattered…"
"Rae… you know that I love-" She felt a hand on her shoulder.
She pulled away, "Just go." She said in a defeated voice, "Clearly family never meant a damn to you."
"Rae-"
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" She boomed as tears streamed down her cheeks.
There was some shuffling behind her.
A few moments later, the door clicked shut. Energy sapped from her as she collapsed to the ground, her strength sucked out of her.
Her anchor, the one thing that kept her going, that gave her hope, was now gone. Her heart filled with a certain guilt that words could never express, a guilt that was a bottomless void.
"Rae?" Taiyang called, peeping his from the kitchen.
"Are you alright?" Summer asked as came down the stairs.
Her luscious black mane obscured the look of utter pain and horror. "Noooo…" she sobbed as she held herself. "No…" She whimpered into the ground. "He turned his back on us…" She pressed her down to the ground. "On me…"
She slammed her fist into the ground, "I've done everything for him. EVERYTHING."
Footsteps made it closer. She felt a hand gently lift her up, "It's going to be alright." Tai reassured her.
At this point, instinct was on cruise control as she pulled away. "Just leave me alone." She hoisted herself away. "I just want to be alone."
Two weeks had gone by, and Raven was not doing so hot. She spent the last two weeks in two of places, in her room or the bathroom, both completely slammed for most of the day. Work from marching band, college, and student teaching started to pile on and on and on. She didn't give a living fuck, she just wanted to lie in bed and forget what happened.
She wanted to forget everything. Hell, she even kicked Tai out of the room. She just did not want to deal with anyone.
She pulled the blanket down, looking at the alarm clock 6:30 AM. Well no student teaching today. She picked up the phone and dialed the school district's phone.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Mr. Standford, This is Raven."
"Ahh, Miss Branwen, what can I do for ya?"
"Yeah… I'm sorry to inform you, but I won't be able to come in." She muttered weakly.
There was a moment of silence.
"Miss Branwen, are you alright? Are you feeling alright?"
She cleared her throat, "Yeah… just under the weather."
"Alright… but please, do get some rest. Your evaluation is next week."
"I'll try, thank you, sir."
Mhmm, take care."
With that Raven hanged up and pulled the blanket over her head with one thought in her mind: If you want to betray the only family that has ever loved you, fine. You want to fucking runaway. Fine. Go. It's clear I never mattered…
Was he the real traitor? Or was it her?
She didn't want to think.
Thinking hurt… a lot.
Thinking was bad, she just wanted it to stop.
"Honey, smile for me. My precious little bird needs to be happy!" A sinister voice called out to her in the darkness.
A brilliant white flash erupted that overloaded all of her senses.
"I SAID BE HAPPY!"
She could feel the anger, the spite, surrounding her as another flash erupted causing her to collapse to the ground.
"You want your brother to live, don't you?" The voice whispered.
"More than anything…" A hushed little voice said
"Then. smile." The voice commanded.
The little girl smiled as she buried all of her anger and tears.
"That's it."
FLASH
With great force, the blankets were ripped off of her as Raven shot up, sweat covering her face. Two red, bloodshot eyes scanned the room for those damn flashes. For that sick demented fuck that she promised to gut.
Realizing it was just a dream, she draped her legs over the bed. "Qrow….." She whimpered to herself as she hanged her low. "Qroooooow." She whimpered, closing her eyes to prevent the water in her eyes from splashing onto the floor.
God damn it. God fucking damn it. Why? WHY?
Why did he need to run away?
Why did he need leave her?
Why did she push him away?
Why was she a shitty sister?
With a heavy heart, she dragged herself out of bed and into the kitchen. The motions that she was going through were without any real human thought as she grabbed a bowl, some cereal, and milk and placed them on the counter.
"Taking off again?" Summer peaked in.
She didn't respond. She lost any real motivation to speak.
"Me, too. You don't need to say anything. I know the feeling." She said as she sat at the kitchen table.
Raven's crimson eye twitched as she looked out the window, "Doubtful," she muttered. The first word she had said to her best friends in about two weeks.
"Why's that?" Summer glared at Raven. "I love him just as much as you."
Without even knowing it, her cereal bowl ended up on the ground in a dozen of pieces. "You're an outsider, how could you?" Raven snarled at Summer with eyes of a hungry wolf. "You didn't go through what we went through. So no, you don't know how it fucking feels. You could barely even comprehend what it feels like and I pray to God you never do." She leaned on the table. "But never. NEVER. Say that again."
The young woman silver eyes broke eye contact. One singular tear drop splashed onto the table.
Immediately the inferno died down. "Summ…" She croaked out realizing the horrible mistake. Yet it was too late.
"Save it." The smaller woman stood up and brushed past Raven.
Silence. It was the sound she had ever experienced. In a span of a week, she managed to isolate herself from the three people that were the most important foundation to her life.
"I can't… I can't…" she muttered to herself as she made for the nightstand in the hallway. She grabbed her keys out of the bowl, slamming the door behind her.
You know the saying… it's 5 PM somewhere? For Raven, it started around 9:00 AM. She wasted…. In fact about $300 dollars down the drain wasted.
"Anutter." She ordered.
"Raven, I think you've had enough." The bartender shook his head as wiped down the counter.
"I'll tell ya… when you had enough!" She slurred her words angrily.
"What's wrong, you're never got this wasted before."
She grunted as shoved her hand into her pocket pulling out another fifty and slapped it down. "Take my mooney an give me somethin' do drink!"
"I think you really had enough."
Nope. She wasn't going to take that as she nearly fell out of her stool trying to reach over the counter to grab a bottle. Immediately, the bartender tried to push her back.. "I don't wanna throw you out unless… I have too…" He grunted causing Raven to reach more.
"Just gibme somedin to drunk." She insisted with half glazed over eyes.
"Hey Fred, I was just wondering if you've…" a familiar voice called out, "RAVEN!"
A rather extremely angry blonde man glared at her followed by a short woman in a white cloak. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Taiyang stormed over followed by his companion.
"Piss off." Raven muttered as she continued to reach over the counter.
Summer immediately clamped down on the taller woman's shoulder pulling her back into her seat. "What the hell has gotten into you?"
She only squirmed under grip causing her yelp in pain when Summer tightened her grip. "I… just wan a drinkkkk…"
Tai looked down at his girlfriend with a disapproving look, "I think you've had enough."
"You aren't my parent." She hissed vehemently with a feral glare, "I can 'andle myself."
"Clearly." Summer scoffed.
She shot a look at Summer, "Fuck you."
"Hey Fred, could we get a moment please?"
The bartender nodded pulling out three glasses filling them water, "On the house. If someone comes in, yell for me."
"Can do." Summer sat on the other side of Raven, "Thanks Fred."
When the kitchen door flapped closed, Tai sat beside his girlfriend. "Rae… talk to me."
"I don't wanna." She mumbled as she buried her head into her arms.
"Then…" Tai stern attitude instantly let up, "We'll just sit here with you."
Why? Why did they have to be good people? Why did they have to love her? She was a complete asshole to them. She only deserved their hate and scorn. "You have better thins to do." She murmured into her arms.
Tai looked up to the ceiling as he tapped his chin in a contemplative pose. He asked Summer, "Do we have anything planned?"
"Nope!" She said cheerfully.
Even in her drunken state, she remembered everything. It wasn't very true that people drink to forget. People drink to numb themselves… yet right now, it made it so much worse. It was an ever spiraling out of control cycle. "You guys should hate me… despise me. I an asshole to all ya."
She felt a hand rub her back. "Yeah… well you're going through something that we can't understand. I mean hell, your partner in crime did something pretty extreme. We all were hurt when he didn't tell us what he was planning. You most of all…"
She continued to listen.
"Rae, I've always loved Qrow, you know that. I know I can never be apart of what you two are, I accept that. I'm not going to force myself in if you don't want me in" Summer reassured her in a soft voice as rested her arms on the counter, her chin on her arms. "But I want you to know that you're family. We're all family. We stick together, no matter what."
"But I… I… yelled at you..." She sobbed into her arms, "I… told you guys I didn't want you around… that we weren't family."
"Hey, look at me." Tai tapped her elbow. She peaked a tear-filled crimson eye up. "I love you. I know I don't say it enough when I should, but I absolutely love you. You are my world and nothing you can do will change that. You know why?
How? Why? How could they be like this? She shook her head.
His blue eyes were filled with a certain passion she fell in love with, that certain indomitable resilience, "Because Raven Branwen… I want to us to be a family." He said as he stood up from his stool pulling out a small little box as he dropped to one knee.
Her mind went blank.
This can't be happening. She lifted herself up as he opened the little box.
Inside was a small gold ring with a small little ruby on top. "Raven Branwen…. Will you marry me?"
*THUNK*
She fell unconscious, her head hitting the bar counter.
"Tai!" Summer exclaimed filled concerned and joy, "You didn't tell me?! We should get her home! OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE WEIRDEST PROPOSAL!"
*CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!*
Two bloodshot crimson eyes awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside. "Stupid birds…" She mumbled, not forgetting the irony of it.
A quick glance at the alarm clock said 9 AM. She clutched her head as she sat up. Wondering out of the bedroom, she saw Summer eating breakfast, and Tai still passed out on the couch. "Hey, Rae, how you feelin?"
"Like I got hit by a truck." She grumbled.
"Yeah… that was a nasty fall you had there." Summer as she took a bite out off her muffin.
"Fall…?" She asked hesitantly until it clicked…. Her eyes went wide in alarm.
Taiyang Xiao-Long proposed to me….. And I didn't say anything…. She mentally screamed. "Don't worry, he understands. He even admitted that it was a spur of the moment thing." Summer tried to reassure her.
"Summer… I'm really sorry about yesterday…." She said with some urgency, "We'll talk about it later. Alright?"
"Sure thing! And on don't worry about it. I get it!" She shooed her away "Now get… you need to talk to someone."
Raven nodded and bolted over to Taiyang. She got on her knees and shook him as two tired eyes popped open lazily. "Rae…?" He mumbled dreamily.
"Yes."
Still half asleep, he asked, "Whaaa?"
"Yes." She stated resolutely.
"Yes?" He asked again.
"Yes." She immediately hugged him.
"OH MY GOD YES!" Tai boomed with uncontrollable joy.
They embraced one another for a long time only to be interrupted by Summer squealing with joy. "You two are so cuuuuuuute!"
Raven broke away, slightly red in the cheeks. "One condition though,"
Tai raised an eyebrow, "Sure."
"I keep my last name."
He sat up almost confused, "I… um…"
"Qrow and me made a promise growing up that no matter what. Even if he's not here, I need to honor that request."
"Alright," Tai said resolutely. "Good enough for me." He embraced her.
*Modern Day*
"Yep… that's how I nearly failed out. I reacted badly to Qrow leaving." She placed a hand on top of his. "That year, after graduating, I married Tai, and that's how things got rolling."
"Do you support what he did and why he did it?" Ironwood asked.
She looked towards her brother. "I know I love my brother," she squeezed, "I wish I knew why… back then. I'm proud of why he served, but I wish he just opened up."
"Touching," Ironwood admired.
"So what did you get in student teaching?" Ironwood enquired.
"C."
"Yet you still got hired?" Ironwood raised an eyebrow, "Almost all school districts accept only the highest grades."
Raven nodded, "That is absolutely true. When we moved up here, I saw there was an opening and applied. He called me for an interview and asked the same exact question."
"And?"
"I told him the truth. I was going through a major bout of depression at the time which caused me to nearly fail out." Raven admitted, "He told me that everyone deserves a second chance. It isn't about having the best grade, it's about being able to preserve and pushing through the darkest moment in your life."
"I think we can all appreciate that." Ironwood agreed, "Any other thoughts?"
"That's it."
With that, Ironwood hit the pause button.
It felt as if the weight of the world was lifted off of her shoulders. "Jesus Christ…" Raven let out as she leaned back, "That… that kinda sucked."
No one said anything, their silence was their agreement. "It's been a pleasure," Ironwood spoke up. "People like you are true inspirations to support."
The four of them stood up shaking the lawyer's hand. "It's a pleasure for you to represent us." Taiyang replied, "Thank you for your service."
They made their way out of the office. "We should talk about a few things…." Qrow spoke up.
"Mhmm." His sister responded.
"Oh yeah.." Taiyang agreed.
"Yep." Summer agreed. "Let's do it over…" She looked at her phone. "Dinner? I didn't think we were in there that long…"
The other three agreed readily. It had been a truly grueling day.
A/N
Hi my friends!
Another chapter on the definitely heavy side.
Big thanks to SecretlySilentEvil for edit.
Reeeeeeeviews!
Tronmaster5704: Hey mate! Well thanks! Hope you enjoyed the chapter
Mikainox: I love my history…. (yeah… I'm a nerd :) As for digging through primary sources, I graduated with B. so we never did that in any of my education classes, but grad school? Diving head first into it lol.
I'm a sucker for happy endings ;)
Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter!
MorgothII: Thank you! Always glad to hear from you :)
GrimmAbyss: Howdy my friend! I appreciate the review, hopefully you enjoyed the chapter.
Couldrenblock: Hey there bud! Power of friendship indeed lol (not to be cheesy or anything). Hopefully you were able to lift this one ;)
Killkill123100: Hiya! My writing? Nah, thank Secret for editing :D Hopefully you've enjoyed the chapter.
Slightly intense: That would be a plot twist lmao
Big Bad Beowolf: I am a bastard, aren't I? Lol. I won't lie, I enjoyed writing the backstory, I enjoy writing Team STRQ, and well... their experiences directly impact what's going to happen. But… It's time to get back Jaune and gang.
Secret, do you have any words? Beta reading and editing are two different beasts. ;)
Is that a compliment…. Or… I don't know….?
;)
Well… sure… I'll take it. Anywho, next time we go back to the old gang! Leave a fav, follow, or review!
Thanks for reading!