Chapter – thirty – four
I lied to Charlie that Jasper was a drug addict, who attacked me when he was intoxicated and how he flew into a fit of rage. But I told Jake the truth about my break up with Edward. My boyfriend was livid. "So that's what happened. Well, I was fighting with the wrong guy all along. But Bella, I'd probably do the same to protect you," he confessed, lying in bed next to me.
"Initially, I would. But I've you too much to let you go. I'd eventually come back to you. Our relationship is worth fighting for," he mentioned. "So if Sam or Jared had attacked me, you'd abandon me?" I asked. "No. I'd love mad at Sam, but I'd be concerned for you. I would never let anyone harm you again. Including myself. I'd keep the boys and myself away until I controlled myself," he replied.
"But I see where Eddie boy is coming from. He likes you enough to protect you from himself. I probably would hate myself, and agonize over it forever. But if our roles were reversed, I'd be outraged if you were with vampires. I'd probably drag you away, tell Charlie what they are and keep you safe. I'm glad that's not the case,"
"We're you ever worried that you'd hurt me?" I enquired. He snorted. "No. Unlike the others, morphing is easy, I can control my body. Sam changed by accident once. The boys helped me, but I'm a natural. Apparently, my ancestor was an alpha who was also able to morph quickly. So I really didn't worry. But there was no reason for concern, as all we did was talk and hang out,"
I sighed. "Now that Rachel is here, let's hang out in your house." he digressed. ",Besides, I'm still recovering. I need some love," he suggested. I chuckled and cuddled up to the man. Both of us did not want to discuss the what could have been.
Jake began to brood after that. He really was mulling over the whole situation. "If you hadn't come to see me fix those bikes, and we would never speak to each other, would you have gone back to him?" he asked. "Maybe." I answered. "Actually Edward was wrong about a lot of stuff. He thinks the imprint has forced us together. It brought us together. I'd been an anxious woman if you hadn't. I don't want to end up like Leah. I ended with a broken heart once. I want you to be mine forever," I stated. "So do I," he mentioned, kissing my cheek. "Let's stay together forever,"
I would like that too…
"I don't like this at all." grumbled Jake. "It's a wedding photo shoot, why are you complaining?" I chided. The local photographer wanted more customers, so he wanted Jake to do a photo shoot with him.
Jake was the groom, whilst a model was the bride. Jake was making a quick buck and I was going to help him. The pictures looked great, as the girl held his arm and they hugged. Instead of jealousy, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I was never really going to walk down the aisle with him. We had given up consummating, and all forms of physical contact.
It was necessary. "Now, can you two kiss?" asked the photographer. "No!" I blurted out and Jake smiled. "That's my girl," he informed. "Listen kid, you want your payment or not?"the photographer demanded. I sulked as they kissed. I do not like this one bit. Much to my horror, Jake looked like he was enjoying it.
He cupped the girl's cheek, and slowly pressed his lips to hers. Once the photographer was done, and he asked them to stay closer, I realised something. I was losing out on everything. My love, my friendship, with Jacob.
The ride home was silent. "Don't be upset," Jake comforted, as he drove. "I swear, I was thinking you when I kissed her. I just wanted you to be jealous," I nodded. "When was the last time we kissed? I don't remember. When was the last time we sat together without keeping a safe distance? He ruined it for us Jake." I voiced.
"Look, I know that you don't want a baby. We held out for so long. Besides, I don't want you to think I'm a sex maniac," he stated. "Let's just live a life without sex. All married couples do that after a while," I smiled at him. "For the sake of it, tell me whether you wanted a kid or not," I urged.
"I want two kids. A boy and a girl. What about you?"
"One girl, but two is okay. Where did you want to move?"
"The suburbs, with a lot of greenery. With a two storey bungalow and a kennel for our two dogs,"
"How could we own a bungalow? We need a university degree. What would you have studied anyway?"
"Engineering,"
"Where?"
"California,"
"Have you heard from Quil yet?" I asked. "No. The family is taking it badly. His imprint is a fucking baby. How else are they going to react?" he replied. "The baby's parents live far sway, so they are equally puzzled about how this will work,"
And I thought we had issues. Everyone was appalled. "Colin and Brady were excited to meet their soul mate. Now they just want this to end," he continued. "What if Leah imprints on a preschooler? Or worse, someone who lives in Arizona and does not know what imprinting is? How will she survive?"
Jacob was showing absolute restraint. He did not want a baby anymore than I did.
I recalled what Leah said about not playing with Emily's baby.
"If I play with him, I'll want him for myself," she confided in me. "That baby will remind me that I will never be a mother. Besides, Sam may not like it."
Sam and Leah barely communicated, despite my several attempts. In addition, Emily and Sam still had a tumultuous relationship.
I did not want anything of that sort to happen to us.