Jak finally gets some rest.

Chapter 35: Not the Same Man

Jak awoke to an aching in his entire body, pain in his arms and chest and neck. And red. Was he finally dead? Was this all there was? He heard people talking, quiet, but he couldn't make out the words. He opened one eye, wincing at the bright sunlight streaming through the window over his bed, then the other. He tried to sit up, but fell back down. Maybe he would just rest a little longer. It was warm in here. Maybe a little too warm.

Jak let out a yell when something landed on his stomach. He lifted his head to see a familiar orange face grinning at him.

"Feelin' better, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Real Angry?" Daxter said.

Jak dropped his head back on the pillow. "I'm fine." He was never fine lately. But, that was nothing new. It certainly wasn't anything worth mentioning.

"Good. Well, we're in Spargus now. You can probably already tell, 'cause it's too bright and warm, and if you listen carefully, you can hear stuff meltin'."

He sighed. So they had to leave Haven City behind, after all. He knew they had to, but being here made it official. "Whose place is this anyway?"

"The Wastelanders are lettin' the people from Haven City share their homes and stuff while they're off fightin'. And Sig's made the palace the new HQ. Hey, do you remember what happened back there?"

Oh, yes, that. What had he done? He didn't hurt Daxter, at least. But, had he hurt anyone else? Oh, the Precursors, he hoped not. Again, he tried to sit up, with more success. The ottsel didn't appear overly concerned. Perhaps he hadn't done anything too grave, after all. "What did I do, Dax?"

Daxter jumped to the side to stand on the bed. "You started to act real strange, well, you were actin' strange before that, too. But, then you fell to the ground and really started spazzin' out!" The ottsel attempted to mimic an upright version of this. Jak highly doubted his own actions had looked so ridiculous. "And then you turned into Dark Jak, and you looked ready to attack us. So I," an orange hand went to his furry chest, "did the only thing I could to save all our buddies from your weird, random fury."

Jak shook his head. Oh, no, not another one of these stories.

"I let Sig take you on. I mean, I coulda stopped you just fine, but I can't go lettin' a big guy like that look silly in front of everyone, now could I?"

"How thoughtful of you."

"I know. So anyway, Sig charged at you, and you went at him, and then he whacked you with his Peace Maker. It was amazing, actually. Almost as good as what I was planning. And then he almost had you knocked out, and somehow he got you in a stranglehold," he wrapped his fingers around his own throat, tongue out in feigned asphyxiation, "and before ya knew it, you were out like a light and turnin' back into your old self."

No wonder he was even more sore than usual. "And I didn't hurt anyone?"

"Nah. Maybe you scratched Sig up a little bit, but that's all." Despite this grim story, the ottsel continued to smile at his friend. How could he be okay with this? That his best friend was a monster. Of course, Daxter had known about this fact for some time, but Jak was worse now. He could very well lose control to the point that he might actually kill his own friends without being aware he was even doing so. Not until it was too late. Things hadn't turned out as terribly as they could have this time, but who knows what might happen next time? He didn't want to think there would be a next time, but who was he kidding? He was just lucky Sig was there. Torn or Ashelin may have had to shoot him, and he wouldn't have blamed them. What if he really couldn't stop himself, and it was just Daxter…or Keira…

"I'm just…glad everyone's okay." But, he wasn't okay. And as long as he wasn't, they weren't safe. Not just from Gol and Maia and those monsters, but from him, as well. They may be in danger from him most of all. His eyes returned to Daxter after their wandering about the plain, somewhat dusty, room, and the ottsel's expression finally was changed.

"That Dark Eco really messed you up, huh?" His voice was actually soft for once.

Jak forced a grin and a laugh he attempted to make sound not so hollow. "Maybe. But, we've been through worse, right?"

The ottsel's broad smile returned, and he gave a big nod. "We sure have. We can handle this just like those two goons. We'll show 'em what happens when you mess with us, crazy dark side or not. Right?"

"Right." Someone would have to. But, if he was capable of saving the world again, he didn't know. Not with an aching, broken body, a clouded mind, and an unpredictable disposition. If only he could find some Light Eco. That was his only hope right now.

"Jak." A soft sound from his right, and he turned his head to see Keira, one hand on the doorframe, eyes wide with concern. She did not bear Daxter's cheer.

"Keira, are you all right?"

Her hand slid down the wall until it was at her side, and she came forward, her eyes no longer looking at him. "Daxter, can I talk to Jak alone?"

"Huh? Sure." Turning back to his friend, the ottsel added, "See ya later, Jak." He jumped off the bed and left.

Keira's eyes looked tired, but not a physical kind of weariness, and these eyes continued to avoid Jak's own gaze. Was last night the first time she had ever seen his dark side? He really couldn't remember.

"Keira…"

"How…how are you feeling?" She finally looked at him, but her eyes flicked to the side once her gaze met his.

"Sore, but…Keira, I'm sorry."

"Why should you be sorry?"

"I…don't know. I never wanted you to see me like that."

She eased herself down to sit on the bed and brushed a few strands of her verdant green hair out of her face. It wasn't the same green as his hair. It was of a shade much more beautiful, a color like the Forbidden Forest outside of Sandover. He put up a hand to brush away a few strands she had missed, and she looked over, her eyes finally settling on his without retreating.

"Even after what you saw, I'm still the same Jak on the inside. I promise, I'll…I'll never hurt you." How could he promise that? He had no choice in the matter. If it did ever happen. Why wouldn't it someday? Someday.

"I know." There was no reassurance in her words, though. It came too easily. More a reflex than anything else. And there she was, gazing off again, staring out the window over his bed. He was half temped to look and see what she saw out there, but he didn't think he'd find the same view. What she saw was from another time. At least, that's what he felt.

"I have changed, though, haven't I? I guess I'm not really the same Jak I always was. I'm not the same one from Sandover."

"I know." Her lips formed a smile that didn't reach her eyes, and she looked back at him. "And it's not your fault." Her smile disappeared. "Maybe I'm not the same person, either."

Yes, she was. She was always the same Keira. And always would be. The strong, but kind Keira he had met long ago in those peaceful times. The intelligent girl that had built an A-GraV Zoomer from scratch and later went on to build the Rift Rider. He had changed. Daxter wasn't even the same species anymore. But Keira. Good, reliable Keira. She deserved better. Better than a man that ran off to go on adventures without her and had a monster living inside him. He couldn't go back to his old self, though. He never could.

"My father can heal you when he gets to Spargus," she said. "My powers aren't quite enough yet."

"They will be. You'll be a Sage soon. And a great one."

She laughed. "I don't know about that. I'm just focusing on becoming any kind of Sage. Then, we'll see about how good I get." That was the face he remembered. The joy back in her green eyes, eyes that looked upon him like he was the carefree mute boy again from long ago. The boy it seemed he never was, so foreign it felt now that it was like it had happened in some distant past to someone else. It was like he had lived the childhood of some other man. Another man that grew up as he did, but went on to live a different life. A man that settled down and got married and lived a peaceful life without any wars or Metal Heads or Dark Eco. He could be that man again, perhaps, if he tried hard enough.

What was he saying? Now he wasn't making any sense. And as he watched her smiling face, he could almost hear the waves lapping on Sentinel Beach and the seagulls crying out as they flew amongst the mysterious structures along the shore that this particular section of the coast was known for. No, he would never be that innocent boy again, but he could fix things now, couldn't he?

He sat up and put his hands on either side of her face, pulling it to his, and pressed his lips to hers. I'm sorry I can't be the man you loved. I'm sorry…for everything.

They moved away, and he looked into those eyes. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. He couldn't hurt her. He couldn't ever let Dark Jak hurt her. But, how could he stop it? How could he ever stop himself from destroying all he loved? It would all be taken from him. If he let Dark Jak continue its hold on him. Why did everything have to go this way?

She gave him another kiss on the mouth. "We'll find a way to help you. Don't worry."

He hoped so. Oh, he had wished for few things more in his life. You knew you had fallen pretty far if you had to wish you wouldn't kill your own friends. No matter what, he would make sure that didn't have to happen.

Keira stood. "Get some rest."

"Keira…"

"Shh." She smiled. "You're still weak. Get some rest, and I'll see you later."

He watched her leave, she looking back only once more before closing the door with the softest click. Yes, Keira did deserve better. And that was why he couldn't stay. Not once his strength was back. If he loved her, he had no other choice.

Gol hovered over Haven City, watching as the last remnants of life made their escape from the nearly unrecognizable landscape far below, the breeze playing with his long hair and coat, as if inspecting the creature that was not normally found at such heights. To Spargus they would surely go, abandoning their home likes ants from an anthill flooded with water. So very much like animals, they were. Such miserable creatures, that would crouch down and run away like vermin, to flee from one doldrums of an existence to another. They had no purpose. They ran because of their primitive instinct for survival and nothing more. Animals. Based on how they treated their kind, they were lower than animals. He had done a service to the world by destroying this place. It was a shame so many had lived through the blast.

But now, at least, the city was a much more beautiful thing. Formerly a monstrous lump of concrete and steel, a hideous representation of how the human race invaded and destroyed any environment that they encountered. But, now it was truly a sight to behold. Dark Eco covered a good percentage of the place, a purple mist rising high into the air, surely visible for miles, a beacon to all that a new age had begun.

He sped downward and glided towards the section of the city that was formerly green, slowing his descent as he neared the ground. Already, new plants were growing here, purple and black, of elegant forms never seen before, as the Dark Eco did its work. He raised his left hand and sent sparks at a patch that remained untouched, and the blades of grass the sparks struck began to change and grow and twist about each other. Lovely. And even the air smelled sweet. He grinned. Once Maia was better, he would show it to her. Until then, perhaps the thought of such a place would speed her recovery.

The Sage chuckled a raspy laugh, the first joyous sound to be heard here since the incident, even if such a sound would bring a much different feeling deep in the hearts of any who might hear it, not that there was anyone else around to do so. And then he was enveloped in purple and was gone.

Gol appeared back in the citadel, as silent as the city had been, and headed for Maia's room. He peeked in through the door that had been left partly open to see that she was still asleep. She had suffered a significant amount of blood loss, but she would be fine once she had rested long enough, though her pride would surely be injured far longer.

He slipped through the opening, being careful not to open the door much further to avoid any creaking the old thing may cause, his footsteps barely audible as he moved across the room and stopped at her bedside, standing over her, the only light coming from the doorway, a stream of it lying across the lower half of her face. He laughed inwardly, for she rarely looked so peaceful when awake anymore. Once they had spent enough time around Dark Eco, a fire was eventually awoken within her that neither of them knew she had. What a truly formidable thing she had become.

He frowned. And yet, she had still been nearly killed by that boy. His dark side, she said it was. How was it he rejected Dark Eco, yet managed to wield such power? His dear sister was in no way weak, and yet that boy had injured her so severely. His eyes narrowed. The boy was the biggest problem of them all. The rat, as well, but the boy was even worse. He had to die. With their poor luck, surely he had survived the blast, if many of the other insignificant residents of that place had. Perhaps that would have to be a higher priority than the annihilation of Spargus, which would surely be their next task now that Haven had fallen.

He looked down at his dear sister again, his expression softening, but while he saw her sleeping before him, another face surfaced in his mind. He blinked. The owner of that face, that always grinning, bothersome face… Had she survived the blast? If she had gone to Haven City with the other fools from Spargus, had she? He shook his head. What did he care? Why did he care?

The Sage brushed a few strands of hair out of his sister's face and watched her longer. Dear sister, how you've changed. Calm you are right now, though, like the old Maia. The Maia that used to sing and leave flowers absolutely everywhere, despite how it made me sneeze and my eyes water.

I wonder how I have changed.

With a sigh he hadn't meant to breathe, he turned and strode from the room, closing the door until only a sliver of opening remained. He really should get to work repairing the factory. And finding a possible replacement for the robot. He really should, but he couldn't say he felt like it right now. There were too many things on his mind, even if attending to those matters could resolve some of the issues he was mulling over.

His feet took him to the library, but he didn't look for books on Dark Eco or other such things. He simply looked, for little reason else but to have something different to focus on. And a small part of him wondered if any books spoke of long ago, of the time he had originally been a part of, though it was unlikely he'd find much besides history. And even of that, there wouldn't be a great deal. Little happened back then. To be honest, the biggest thing that had happened during that time was their attempts to remake the world. He wouldn't be surprised, though, that since they had failed, that event likely hadn't even been recorded. According to Kassra, they were simply remembered as monsters that ate children or some other such nonsense. How could history get it so wrong?

He snorted. Of course! All the idiots they had known back then had made the same mistake, as well. Monsters. That's what they thought of his dear sister and him back then and that's what they still thought now. He could show them monsters. Once their savior was dead.

Keira hasn't ever seen Dark Jak in the games before, right? Right…? And I don't like writing kissing scenes. I dislike it even more than the fight scenes. Please review.