Chapter 36

"To the third House child," Wilson held up his drink as he sat in the tavern with House on one side of him and Bill Cameron across the table from them.

It was clear that this wasn't the first drink for any of them as they had a half-empty bottle of scotch in front of them. James seemed to be on the verge of being a bit tipsy while Bill was beginning to feel a slight buzz and House remained unfazed by the three shots he had had.

"And for the man who produced the third Cameron-House grandchild," Bill chimed in as he tapped his glass with Wilson's. "without which my wife and I would have grown old without a grandchild to our name."

"Are you praising the children I'm impregnating your daughter with–or the fact that I can still actually do it?" House smirked as he allowed the two men to touch their glasses to his as he swirled his drink then brought it to his mouth and downed it.

Bill merely smiled into his own drink then gulped it down. "You seem to be able to make remarkable children, Greg. Of that, I'm thankful."

"Don't let Allison hear you say that. She had a huge part in this reproduction-thing too, you know," House said, still watching his glass as he refilled it.

"Did she get an appointment with the Ob/Gyn Department yet?" James asked as he, too, poured himself another drink.

"Not until the twelfth."

"Are you going with her?"

House shrugged his shoulders. "Let's see how busy we are in the department. As far as I know it's only a preliminary visit. Once they get into the ultrasounds and such–I'll make sure I'm there."

"They didn't even have all that stuff when Karen was pregnant with Allison. I didn't even get to go in for the birth. Most of the time you either sat in the waiting room, sat down at the local bar or went to work and didn't find out what it was until after you got home for the day."

"Still–it was a lot more information than I had–both times," House said solemnly.

"Well," Bill started slowly. "You said, yourself, that you weren't ready to know about Tony when he was born–and Dee–well. . ."

"Just don't go getting into a lip-lock with any crazy bitches when your wife is almost due," James told his friend as he poured another drink for Bill. "And you should be fine with this one."

"That's true," Bill said as he lifted his drink to his lips and looked at House. "I know–no crazy bitches within a hundred miles while your wife is pregnant–and you might survive."

This comment turned both House's and Wilson's interested gazes to him.

"What's this?" James chuckled as he poured another drink for Bill. "Life with Karen wasn't all a bed of roses while she was pregnant?"

"The hell with the bed of roses," House told him. "You were with another woman."

"No–I didn't say that." Bill smiled as he stared at his drink. "I said, stay away from them."

"You said–you knew," House said again. "What's the story, Bill? You're talking from your own experience–what juicy little skeleton is in your closet? Were you messing around on Karen while she was pregnant with Allison?"

"No," he said quickly as he looked at House. "Not intentionally, anyway. Hell, I was only a kid–only twenty-three years old! Anyway, Karen was very pregnant, and we had had an argument that day, so I went out for a few drinks, and when I came back I was feeling like a damn idiot. So, all I wanted to do was climb in bed with my beautiful wife, tell her I was sorry, tell her I loved her, and . . .well, we all know what I wanted to do. But when I climbed in bed, I wasn't aware that my wife had gone home to her mother, and her psycho little sister immediately came to our house and was in our bed waiting for me."

"Little sister?" James asked.

"Yeah. Karen was nineteen at the time and her sister was only seventeen. She was the youngest–I guess you would call her the pet. She damn near got anything she wanted."

"Including big sister's husband," House told him.

"Damn near," Bill snorted. "But Karen came home to make amends and when she turned on the bedroom light she found me in bed with her sister, trying to shove her off, but she clung like a damn spider monkey."

"Jesus! What happened?" James asked as he poured himself another drink, completely involved in Bill's story.

"Karen started throwing things at me. I about died right there–I didn't know what the hell to do–so I just stood there like an idiot. "

"And what did her sister do?"

"I don't remember. Kept saying something about how our destinies were intertwined and we were meant to be together."

"What did you do?"

"I told her she was a lunatic, that she needed to be put in an asylum somewhere. Finally Karen told me she needed to leave so she could think things over, so she and Janey left. That was about the worst night of my life–until later. And I'll never understand that part of it–but she came back around three o'clock and climbed in bed with me and about knocked my socks off."

"You have sex with your socks on?" James asked.

"You sure it was your wife that time?" House chuckled.

"Oh, yeah," Bill smiled. "There's no one like Karen."

"So what happened to good old Janey? Did her destiny intertwine with anyone else after that?"

"Actually, she went on to become a physician. She never married–said she wanted to find the right man when she was well settled in her practice–but the year Tony was born, Janey got into a traffic accident and was killed. It was a tremendous loss to our community. She was an amazing doctor."

"Did you maintain a relationship with her?" Asked James.

"From afar," Bill chuckled. "It took several years before I wouldn't automatically hide behind Karen every time Janey came within a hundred yards of me. But every so often when I least expected it, I'd look up and she'd wink at me."

"Allison, do you want the iced tea brought in the room with us?" Lisa asked as she stood at the refrigerator.

"Yes. I'll grab some glasses." Allison followed Lisa and her mother into the living room where Jessica and Dee were sitting in their little chairs, watching a DVD of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

"Good Lord," Karen said as she sat in the rocking chair and looked at the little girls. "They still are mesmerized by that man. I remember how you used to watch him when you were little."

"Me and Aunt Janey," Allison chuckled as she sat on the sofa next to Lisa.

"Oh?" Lisa asked. "Were you both about the same age?"

"No," Allison laughed.

"My sister Janey was only two years younger than me. But she used to sit with Allison and watch all the PBS shows from that time. I think she actually started watching Nova with Allison when Allison was only a toddler. Janey was the first to go to college in our family–and she was the first doctor. Probably where Allison got the notion from."

"Gram, rock me?" Dee walked up to her grandmother with her sippy cup in hand and waited to be lifted onto her lap where she nestled against her, ready to go to sleep.

"You were close to your aunt?" Asked Lisa.

"Oh, I thought the world of her. She was amazing. She was beautiful and funny. But for some reason, Dad didn't seem too fond of her."

At this, Karen chuckled as she rocked her granddaughter to sleep.

"No, I don't suppose he was. But that was my fault."

"Why?" Allison asked suspiciously. "What did you do?"

"Well, I was nine months pregnant with you, feeling like I was ready to burst, and feeling very, very unattractive, and when your dad came home from work one day, I started picking and we ended up having a terrible argument. He got mad and left. I found out later he went to the bar and had a few drinks. And, I–well, I went home to my parents' house. I was all upset and Janey, being Janey, demanded to know what happened. We had a long heartfelt talk about how unattractive I felt and the fact that I felt your father, if given the opportunity, would leave me for a younger, leaner version of myself in an instant. So–Janey said–let's find out."

"How?"

"We went back to my house and waited until we heard your father drive in the driveway, then Janey went back to our bedroom and got into bed. I stayed in the kitchen until I knew your dad had plenty of time to go in with her. When I walked in and turned on the light, Janey had your dad pinned down on the bed like a professional wrestler. The poor man was wiping his mouth and trying to shove her away, but she kept saying something like–they were star-crossed lovers and they were meant to be together. It took everything in me to keep from laughing at her and especially at the expression of pure horror on your father's face. But I kept it together long enough to leave with Janey and tell him I needed time to decide what I was going to do. As I drove Janey home, she told me everything he was saying to her before I came into the bedroom. Things like how much he loved me, and he was sorry, and then he started talking about things that she said scorched her ears. That was when she didn't want to hear anymore and she more or less jumped on him and started kissing him."

"When did he realize who it was?" Allison asked with wide eyes.

"She said as soon as her lips met his, he yanked away. He knew immediately and wanted no part of it. But she kept it up until I got there."

"She didn't really have a crush on him, did she?"

"No," Karen laughed. "She just wanted to prove to me that I had nothing to worry about. That your father loved me and would never look at another woman."

"What did Dad do when he found out what you did?"

"He never found out. It was our little secret."

"Do they get along well now?" Lisa asked.

"No–no, Janey isn't with us anymore," Karen said with a sadness in her eyes. "She eventually went to medical school and sat up practice at home, but within a year or two, she died in a traffic accident. The sad part was that she told me she finally met her "Prince Bill" as she called him. The man she felt loved her as much as Bill loved me. They were going to get married the following summer."

"So, that's why Dad always seemed so nervous when she would be around," Allison said to her mother.

"I think he was afraid she was going to attack him at any moment. I was tempted to fill him in on what we did to him, but Janey always said she preferred teasing him like she did. All she would have to do is wait for him to enter the house and she'd wink at him, and he'd turn around and walk back out again. She certainly was a character."

"I used to sing "Kiss an Angel Good Morning" to her," Bill Cameron said with a bit of a slur as he sat in the front seat of House's car. "She said I was an awful singer–but I won her heart."

"Allison says it was my rendition of "Pour Some Sugar on Me," that first attracted her to me," House chuckled.

"Yeah–that ought to have been a real turn on," Wilson laughed at the thought of his friend singing the song.

"Hey! I have you know it worked! She was thoroughly captivated. I ended up making a son that night. So, it must have worked."

"Wait until I let Tony know he was made while you were singing Def Leppard," Wilson said from the back seat as House approached a green traffic light, but sight of the oncoming car on the left side made the hair stand erect on the back of his head. "House! Watch it!"

House slammed on the breaks as he saw the other vehicle, but still it made contact with the front corner of his car and swung it around, the speed of the other car nearly knocking it over before it bounced back onto all fours. The three men sat completely still as they stared out the windshield.

"Where in the hell did that come from?" House asked.

"I don't know. Thank God I glanced over in that direction. I couldn't even swear they had their lights on." Wilson told him.

"Whoever it was, they must have been drunker than we are," Bill said.

"I don't know about you guys, but that sobered me up pretty quickly. I "did" have a green light–didn't I?"

"Yeah–it was green," Bill agreed. "Good thing its so late and there wasn't anyone else on the road. It could have been a catastrophe."

"It's going to be a catastrophe anyway, once Allison sees the front end of the car."

"Don't worry," Bill told his son-in-law. "It's not as bad as it could've been. And Wilson and I will both testify that it wasn't your fault."

"Let's go home," Wilson said, feeling the need to get home to his wife and daughter.