[Prompt – Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. – Friedrich Nietzsche]

Chapter 36

"Oh, Jason, I was hoping to see you soon," Lila said, looking up from her wheelchair as she sat in the living room of the Quartermaine mansion.

Her grandson smiled as he eased the door to the terrace closed. "I should have come sooner. I'm sorry."

"No need for apologies," she replied, closing the book she was reading and motioning for him to come over. "May I ask what had you so held up?"

Despite her family's attempt to keep her from knowing that Elizabeth was in the hospital, she had found out, mostly from Reginald after overhearing Edward and AJ arguing in the study a couple nights ago. Unfortunately her family didn't realize that while Lila was old, not only was her hearing impeccable, but the staff liked her more than anyone else.

Jason's jaw tightened as he kneeled down in front her. His eyes were tired and shadowed by faint circles, leaving her to wonder when the last time was that he actually slept. "I was…with Elizabeth."

Lila couldn't hide the smile that formed on her lips. "How is she?" she asked, taking a deep breath and preparing herself for bad news.

Yes, Reginald had told her that Elizabeth had been admitted to General Hospital after having contractions and that she was fine, but she knew he wasn't going to give her any heartbreaking news.

"She's been in the hospital," he said slowly, watching her carefully for the slightest hint of distress.

"I heard," she admitted, knowing Jason wouldn't mind that she'd eavesdropped on her husband's conversation. "I assume she's alright or else I hope I would have been told otherwise."

"She's had a hard time lately," he replied, his voice heavy with guilt. "Working too much, high blood pressure…" She sensed his hesitation as he trailed off, but knew better than to press him for information. The good thing about Jason was that he would tell her what he wanted her to know, what she needed to know, even if he was protecting her for something. "I didn't help matters either."

"How did you find out?" she asked, her heart warming at the thought of Jason learning about his ex-wife and rushing to her side. He frowned, his eyes darkening, and she held out her hand, for his, surprised to find at how cold his skin was next to hers. "Whatever happened is not your fault."

He nodded, swallowing hard. "I was…with her. We were fighting and she – she just collapsed. It was the baby – contractions from stress and…"

"Are they okay?" she asked again, desperately wanting a straight answer from someone.

He nodded again, relief washing over his face. "She's going home today – right now, actually. Brenda is taking her. The doctor wants her to take a couple weeks off of work and only go back for a couple hours a day. She's worrying still, about bills and money and having everything ready, but I told her she didn't have to worry anymore."

"And why doesn't she have to worry?" Lila asked, her face breaking into a full out grin because she already knew the answer.

"I'm going to help her. I don't know how exactly or what I can do, but that baby - it's complicated." He shrugged, rolling his eyes when she lifted a hand to his cheek. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Sounds to me like you're finally accepting the first person who ever accepted you," Lila murmured, her eyes glistening with tears. "It's the one thing I've wanted for you these past few months."

"I thought about what you said – about who she was to me after the accident, not before. And she and I talked and…We're something. And the baby…"

"Is something too," she filled in, gently pinching his cheek and dropping her hand back to her lap.

She was going to tell him how going to tell him how proud she was of his choices lately and point out just how much he'd grown, but didn't want to get over sentimental. Besides, what was there for her to say? This was what she wanted to happen, what she knew would happen if they could just let go of everything else, and now it had.

"You need to take care of yourself if you're going to take care of her," Lila reminded him, wagging a finger at him. "She's more than halfway through her pregnancy and she's going to need you. She's always needed you."

His eyes fell to the ground as he sucked in a shaky breath. "I don't want to mess up anymore."

Chuckling, she leaned forward and patted him on the cheek, ducking her head so that she could meet his eye. "Then don't," she said simply, laughing again when the corners of his mouth curved upward. A hint of a smile was such a rarity from her grandson.

She supposed underneath the anger, he had felt this way all along; , that he had always been this comfortable when it came to Elizabeth, but didn't know what to do with any of it. Seeing this side of him reminded her why she'd had hope for him and Elizabeth all along. "You may not remember who you were, but you know who you are now, and like any other person you're not only capable of love and understanding, but you deserve to have it."

Nodding, he pushed himself up from the floor, bending over to kiss her tenderly on the cheek. "Thank you for…everything."

She waved him away with her hand. "You just make sure you bring Elizabeth to see me, the baby too."

"Grandmother, are you talking – what the hell are you doing here?" AJ glared at his younger brother as he walked towards them, glancing briefly at Lila as if checking for injury. "You're not supposed to be here."

"Oh, AJ," Lila sighed, looking apologetically at Jason, and noticing how the kindness in his eyes had already disappeared and was being replaced by anger. The kind that consumed him and made him do and say things he always regretted. "Jason can stop by to visit me whenever he wants."

"Is that so?" he asked, stepping towards his brother. "Any particular reason for this visit, little brother?"

"I wanted to tell Lila that Elizabeth was okay," Jason replied slowly, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Right," AJ said sarcastically, turning back to Lila. "I guess he couldn't wait to tell you about what really happened at the hospital between him and Grandfather." Lila's eyes instantly flashed to Jason's, which she immediately regretted because he looked so guilty and upset. "How he threatened Grandfather's life if he so much as went near Elizabeth and how he-"

"You want to tell her what happened, that's fine," Jason interrupted, grabbing AJ by the arm and jerking him towards him so hard that he stumbled and almost fell against him. He held AJ close, narrowing his eyes as he spoke, and Lila watched completely stunned, though she knew she shouldn't be surprised. Hatred like this was bound to fester when brothers were pitted against one another.

. "YBut you just tell her the truth. You tell her what Edward did to Elizabeth, how you and him and everyone else in this family except her help put Elizabeth in the hospital. At least let her know why I threatened him."

Jason shoved him away, rubbing his clenched fists together as he looked over at Lila. "I'm sorry."

"Wait," she called after him, but it was too late, he was already out the terrace door.

"You can't listen to a thing he says, Grandmother. I know that you pity him-"

"Pity?" she interrupted, gripping the arms of her wheelchair, one hand fumbling for the controls. She pulled herself back, too upset to even look at him. "Jason's my grandson and if I pity anyone, it's you."

**********

Elizabeth paced back and forth in her living room, trying to decide what she was going to do with herself for the next two weeks while she had to take it easy- Dr. Lee's choice words. She had wanted to point out that nothing in her life was easy, but she knew better than to push a doctor. The last thing she needed was to be told she wasn't allowed to work for the rest of her pregnancy, and then she would have really lost her mindit.

It wasn't that she would mind the time off. She could use the extra sleep and less swollen feet and lack of crabby customers, but she would miss the money, and the company. "Looks like it's just me and you," she sighed, smoothing her hand over her belly as she looked around her apartment.

Brenda had done an incredible job with helping her decorate. Between the fresh coat of paint on the walls, the new furniture, and various knickknacks, it actually felt like a home. There was still a little bit of unpacking to be done, not to mention tons of things that she needed to buy for the baby, so maybe this break was a good thing.

"Yeah," she muttered aloud, padding across the wooden floors in bare feet to peek into the room that would eventually look like a nursery. Except for the cradle and a few shopping bags of little things she'd managed to pick up, it was mostly bare. "We can go shopping…on a budget. Eat lots of ice cream. And just maybe you'll let me sleep at night."

Sighing, she pushed herself away from the doorway and turned back to the living room, deciding debating on whether to nap on her foldout bed, which Brenda had been kind enough to pull out for her before leaving. Or she could flip through the hundreds of channels Max and Milo had insisted she order with her cable package. Something told her Johnny had told them to do that.

Instead, she found herself digging through the bag she'd brought home from the hospital, and grinning at the sketchbooks Jason had given her. To him, it was something that someone told him to do, but to her it had been really touching that he'd gone out of his way for her.

"I have a feeling," she murmured, patting her stomach with one of the pads of paper, "that things just might be okay…for all of us, especially you."

She sat the sketchbooks down on the coffee table and continued to empty the bag, shaking her head at a soft, yellow baby blanket she'd been unable to resist in the gift shop. Buying things made the baby realer, which made things a little scarier, but when she thought about holding her baby in her arms, she had a feeling that everything would make sense.

"I can't wait to see you," she said quietly, smiling when she felt a hard kick from inside her. "You'll definitely hurt a lot less and-" She stopped, her head snapping towards the door when someone knocked loudly, almost angrily. "One second!"

Quickly, she tossed everything back into the bag, which defeated the purpose of unpacking it, but there was something private about what was being kept inside it. "I'm coming," she hissed under her breath, the pounding continuing as she undid the deadbolt and two locks (also courtesy of Max and Milo). "AJ…it's good to see you."

There had been a lot of stress from his family, but that didn't change how she felt about him. He was stubborn and selfish, mostly a jerk, but she still cared about him. "Come in," she said, stepping aside, but he shook his head.

"I can't stay," he replied, his face tense and eyes hard as he smoothed his tie. "Look, I know that you were really stressed out – that Grandfather didn't help, but you should have come to me. You didn't have to do this to yourself."

"I tried," she shrugged, knowing she didn't have to remind him of the number of calls messages she'd left with his secretary and on his cell phone.

"Did you have to go to Jason?" he asked angrily, shaking his head in disgust, and she was reminded of the jealousy he used to have over his brother.

"I didn't go to Jason," she defended, her hand tightening around the doorknob as she stepped into the doorway, blocking his the entrance. She wanted the option of slamming his door in the face when we he went too far and AJ always went too far. "He was with me on the docks. He found me. He called 9-1-"

"You told him that Grandfather was giving you a hard time," he interrupted, narrowing his eyes at her. "I was trying to help you. I was trying to get him to back off, but when he gave me this job, he thought that I would help smooth things over."

"No, he thought you were going to help him take this child, or worse, that you were going to act as its father, giving the Quartermaine's some kind of say," she fired back, unable to believe that AJ was pinning all of this on her. "You're the one who took the job at ELQ after you promised me you were going to help. And then you said it wouldn't come in between us-"

"This company is important to me," he cut in hastily, "and you know that. You know this is what I've always wanted."

"No," she corrected, shaking her head at him, no longer caring about hurting his feelings. Maybe it was the result of everything that had happened, but she suddenly had no desire to put up with anyone's shit. "You wanted what Jason had. You always have. And you realized you could only get-"

"Go to hell, Elizabeth," he interrupted, starting towards her. "I guess it's easy to play the high and mighty game now that you've got what you want – your're poor, pitiful little prince back on his throne. I guess it's a good thing that someone wants-" Suddenly, he was jerked back on his feet, his words dying as he slammed into the wall across the hallway and lost his breath.

Jason stepped between them, keeping his back to Elizabeth as he shoved AJ against the wall again, his fingers curled into the collar of his shirt to hold him in place. "I warned Edward, AJ. I guess it's your turn now."

**********

Every time Jason heard a Quartermaine speak to Elizabeth, it got under his skin, making him think about how they had treated her after his accident. The horrible things they said to her about her relationship, her background, and her overall attitude towards them had always stuck with him. He knew it was hypocritical to hold what they said against them when he'd been equally as mean to her, but there was something different about them.

Sure, the delivery of their cruel words might match one another – Jason probably gave them a run for their money when it came down to it – b. ut tThere was just something about the way they spoke to her. It wasn't as if they were trying to push her buttons or hurt her feelings or make her disappear.

No, they meant thebelieved the awful things they said to her. They believedE every word they spewed about her not being good enough to be Quartermaine, about her not loving Jason enough,enough and it disgusted him. He didn't care if it made him a hypocrite, if he was just as awful as those people – at least he was trying to correct it.

"Jason," Elizabeth said softly, stepping up beside him, her fingers wrapping around his wrists. "Let him go."

Instead, he tightened his hold on AJ, fighting the urge to take him outside her building and beat the living hell out of him. He wasn't the sole cause of what had happened, but he had supported Edward.

He was just so tired of everyone hurting her.

"Please," she begged, sinking her teeth into her lower lip as she stepped closer, the curve of her belly pressing against his side. "Just let him go."

Hesitating, he shoved AJ against the wall again, knocking the wind out of him, and Elizabeth let out a loud gasp, her nails digging into his wrists. "Stop!" she cried, her eyes filling with tears. "Don't do this."

And then he felt it – a tiny bump against his side as her body pressed into him, and suddenly he let AJ go and stepped back, holding his hands in the air.

"I could be a real prick and press charges," AJ spat, straightening his tie as he caught his breath. "But you've put Elizabeth through enough as it is."

"Jason," she murmured, tightening her hold on his hands when he started after him again. She slipped in front of him, looking up at him with desperate blue eyes, her hands still holding on. "Just let it go. AJ – he's…nothing."

He swallowed hard, glaring past her as AJ disappeared down the stairs at the end of hall, fighting the anger that had built inside him. It was the promise he made to Elizabeth – the private declaration that he didn't want to be angry anymore – that was keeping him from going after AJ Quartermaine.

Lesser men had died for crossing his path since working for Sonny, and getting rid of someone like AJ would have been easy, except it would have hurt Elizabeth.

"Are you okay?" she asked, relaxing her hands as he lowered his arms to his sides. He nodded, gritting his teeth as he continued to look past her as if AJ was going to come back for another round. She squeezed his wrists before letting go. "Good, then come inside."

She turned around and started into her apartment, not looking over her shoulder or waiting expectantly on him to follow. He didn't know how long he stood in the hallway trying to regain his composure before finally going inside.

Elizabeth looked over from the one of the windows when he closed the door behind him. "Did you go to see Lila?" she asked curiously, her tone less accusatory than he expected. "It's been so long since I've seen her. I hope she wasn't worried."

"That's why I went there," he replied, his eyes roaming around her apartment. It was nicer than everyone seemed to think, homely even, just like his penthouse was the first time he'd gone inside. "I wanted to tell her you were okay, but I didn't go there to-"

"I know you didn't," she said, leaning her head against the window frame. "You don't want to involve Lila anymore than I do. You know how much this would hurt her if she found out."

Shrugging, he walked over to her, relieved to see that she didn't appear too upset about what had happened. The doctor had ordered less stress and she'd been home less than two hours and already had a confrontation. "She may find out anyway," Jason muttered, shaking his head in disgust at how AJ had interrupted their visit, making it about him, which seemed to be what he always did. "AJ was angry that I was there. He thought I was telling Lila what had happened…"

"Oh," she sighed, her shoulders sagging as she looked out the window. She looked exhausted, more so than she had in the last couple of days, and he wanted to comfort her, but didn't know how. "I thought I could count on AJ, but he only wants one thing out of life – to be better than his brother. I shouldn't be surprised by how he's acting. He was always jealous of Jason's position at ELQ, his relationship with me. Sometimes I think the accident was a relief for him too because it gave him a chance."

She pushed herself away from the window and shuffled across the floor, no destination in mind, just felt the need to move about, like it would distance her from the truth. "Brenda used to tease me about AJ being in love with me. I don't think I realized it until after the accident – when he really wanted to be a part of this baby's life. Like he was getting something that Jason wanted but couldn't have. And when he realized that it wasn't going to be what he wanted it to be, Edward gave him ELQ, so he chose that because he knew he cwouldn't have me." She tucked her hair behind her ear and rocked back on her feet. "And the sad part is that I still worry about him. I know that coming here was to try and cover his own ass – to protect himself, and I just want to help him, but I can't. Crazy, huh?"

"Not really," he replied, starting to relax from everything that had happenedstill trying to relax from everything. "Sounds like AJ's the one with the real problem, not you."

"I guess so," she muttered, folding her arms over her chest. "He and Jason were always pitted against one another. I have an older sister, so I know what that's like, only I avoid her like the plague, which is easy because she doesn't live here." Shaking her head, she looked at him, her cheeks flushing. "Sorry, I'm rambling about stuff that doesn't really matter."

"I don't mind," he said seriously, something about the sound of her voice making him feel less tense. He needed to calm down after his visit with Lila and instead of going to Jake's, he found himself outside Elizabeth's building.

"Good," she said, grinning as she walked and said down on the edge of the fold. "I'm glad you stopped by. It was a nice surprise."

"Just wanted to make sure you didn't need anything," he shrugged, again noticing how tired she looked, and hoping that AJ had gotten to her enough that he'd keep her up at night worrying. "Do you?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head as she scooted back on the bed so that she was resting against the pillows. "Johnny picked up some food – stuff I actually know how to cook. And Brenda handled everything else."

"Okay," he nodded, rubbing his hand over the back of her his neck.

The living room was basically her bedroom and it felt like such a strange place to be in that moment. He'd spent the last two nights in her hospital room, mostly watching her sleep, which seemed fine because she was away from home and out of her comfort zone. This was her home, her bedroom, and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be here or not.

"You should rest," he said, standing awkwardly at the foot of her bed. "If you need anything-"

"Call," she cut in softly, as she shook a ratty, old comforter out over her body.

She watched him closely as he walked over to the door, calling out his name as he started to open it. He froze, wondering if she was going to ask him to stay, and he almost didn't want to turn around. It was an odd place to be – not knowing what was right or wrong, but knowing what he did want.

Instead, she smiled timidly, looking small and frail beneath the comforter. "You can come here anytime. Day or night. No matter what."

Nodding, he opened the door and slipped into the hallway, letting out a shaky breath when he realized he was disappointed that she didn't hadn't asked him to stay.