Er, this one might be M material, I'm not sure. I tried to be circumspect.

I'm probably going to write a continuation to this at some point (although it won't be what you expect).

34. Secrets

Edward Elric had a secret.

His brother didn't know it (though he might have suspected). His mechanic didn't know it. His superior officer, arrogant and omniscient as he was, didn't know it.

Nobody but him.

It would be the end of him if it got out, depending on who was the first to hear – at best discrimination, hatred and harassment; at worst, time in jail or execution.

This secret – the one he guarded more jealously (and more successfully) than his human transmutation and his empty brother – was simple enough, staggeringly so.

Edward liked men.

Secretly he was glad for the constant teasing from everybody and their dog about him and Winry. It was embarrassing, but a good cover for the fact that when he gave into those stupid adolescent urges of his, he didn't think of her.

It was sometime after his first encounter with the strange creatures from Lab 5, however, that a new development made his secret even harder to hide – his fantasies gained a face. He'd never found the bastard Colonel attractive – sure, he was pretty enough to look at, but his personality ruined dark-eyed, dark-haired men for Ed forever. Havoc had been closer to the mark until an innocent comment from Al had brought attention to the fact that Jean looked far too much like Al to be quite comfortable.

But there was just something about the green-haired enemy who'd leant so close to his face. The unknown, nameless – for how could 'Envy' be anything other than an alias? – and agonizingly, tantalizing, deceptively slim stranger with the lackadaisical twang in his voice and the long, long hair that had brushed so softly against Ed's cheek when he'd brought their faces together –

Ed sped up, lips tightly sealed so that Al wouldn't hear. Al thought he was asleep, and he really should be, but his fantasies wouldn't leave him alone. He'd thought for a moment he'd seen Envy outside the hospital window when he'd been there, but it had turned out to be nothing but the branches casting shadows. People on the street would briefly have his smirking face, but a second glance would prove him wrong.

"Oh god," he murmured, and then froze, stopping himself with difficulty. With something mumbled in an embarrassed voice, Al slunk into the other room, as much as an eight-foot-tall suit of armour can slink.

Shit.

Ed's eyes flickered past the window – what was that? No, nothing. For a moment he'd thought he'd seen a flash of pale skin and dark hair, but it was nothing but shadows.

"Envy," he whispered, voice hoarse in the silence, breaths coming harder – and releasing.

"Huh. So that's what ya think of me," said a sardonic voice in the darkness, matter-of-fact and dry.

Ed span around in the bed, pulling up the covers even higher. Envy cocked his head, perching on the balls of his feet on the windowsill, with his knees apart (thank god he was wearing shorts or Ed wouldn't have been able to restrain himself) and fist underneath his chin.

"Well, well," he chuckled. "So li'l Edo has a secret."

"D-don't call me little!"

Envy jumped into the room, closing the window quietly behind him. "So what am I going to do with you, then?"

His eyes glittered, and he lifted his lip, one tooth shimmering in the moonlight.

Ed gulped. Some fantasies should never be played out.