Disclaimer: -sigh- MUST we go through this again? LOL

Chapter Thirty-Five

Where am I? Christine groggily opened her eyes and looked around. Her head was still spinning and her eyes refused to focus. She turned slightly, realizing that she was lying down, looking at a very low ceiling. Am I moving? She at last determined that she was in a cab and panic nearly seized her--until she felt the weight of someone coming to rest beside her on the seat. "Er-Erik?" she sputtered hoarsely. The person leaned in over her and came into focus. "No, Lotte, it's me."

"Raoul? What…what am I doing here? Where are we going?"

"You don't remember, do you?" He looked at her, pursing his lips in concern.

"I—I don't know how I got here, if that's what you're asking." Her mind was a tangled mess of thoughts, and she did not know which were real and which she had dreamed.

"You fainted…in the café," Raoul explained.

Christine stared blankly at him.

"Darling, you were at the café with Madame Giry and Meg…I happened to come in, and we spoke about…about Erik. Do you remember now?" He smiled faintly at her and brushed a curl from her face.

She raised a hand to her head and closed her eyes. "Oh, God," she groaned. "Erik…he…he did all of those things."

"Yes, darling. It's coming back to you, then." He raised her to sit upright and held her close to his chest, cradling her head. "Now, just take it easy…you were unconscious for more than ten minutes."

"Where is Madame Giry? And Meg? And why am I in a carriage with you? Are you taking me back to the shop?"

"No…I--" Raoul paused, thinking. "I told Madame Giry that it would be best if you came to the estate where you would be taken care of, in case you were ill. I will have my personal physician examine you."

"I'm fine, Raoul, I just must have fainted from the…from the shock, that's all. I am not ill." She shuddered, recalling the words that she had read on the paper he had given her at the café. No, please, God. Please don't let those awful things be true! I have to see him…I have to know! "I…I can't go to the estate with you. Please take me back to the shop immediately!"

"No!" Raoul suddenly realized that he had responded a bit too forcefully, and he softened. "Christine," he said, kissing her forehead lovingly, "there is no one to take care of you there, my darling…Helene has missed you terribly, and I know that she would love to see you again. Please, at least allow me to provide you with a warm bath and a hot meal. Really, it's the least that I can do."

Christine nearly jumped at the prospect of a warm bath, yet she was wary of Raoul's intentions. "But…but Madame Dubois will be wondering what has happened to me, and I--"

"Shhh, Lotte. It's all been taken care of. Madame Giry was on her way back to the shop to explain everything to Madame Dubois. Don't worry about it." He smiled at her, as lovingly as he always had, and Christine felt sorry for him.

"Alright, Raoul. I suppose that you've left me with no other option, have you?" She frowned, and he looked as though she had wounded him.

"All I want to do is love you, Christine. Please, just let me love you," he pleaded with her, tears in his eyes. "I'm so desperately in love with you. You are all that I want in this world. Please, my darling," he choked, grasping her hand tightly, "please give me another chance." His lower lip trembled as he released a ragged sigh.

Christine hated to see Raoul so emotional. She suddenly felt horribly guilty. It's as though I've ripped his heart from his chest and handed it to him! "Oh, Raoul, please," she begged him tearfully, "don't ask me to do this. I…I can't bear the fact that I'm hurting you!" She sobbed, covering her face with her hands. She felt his arms come around her shoulders, and she stiffened.

"Perhaps I pushed you toward marriage too soon, my darling. I am so sorry if I did. I should have known that you weren't ready. If you will stay with me, I promise that I will not pressure you in any way. I will wait for you, as long as it takes." He lifted her chin upward with his finger. "Let's start over, Christine. We can go away together…to wherever you want to go. You might even like a visit to Sweden, yes?" He smiled hopefully, praying that she would recall the happier times of their childhood and the innocent love that had blossomed between them. But when he saw her tears and the pain contorting her face, he realized at last that his "Little Lotte" was truly gone. In her place was a grown woman…a woman with whom he would give anything to share his home, his life, and his bed. "I need you," he whispered against her skin, and suddenly, his passion for her erupted within him. He placed a furious, desperate kiss to her lips, and she stiffened in shock. She tried to pull away from him, but he gripped her shoulders tightly, until she forcefully pushed an open palm into his chest. He drew back, gasping for breath, and the look of shock and dismay on her face nearly made him lose his sanity.

"Raoul, don't! I have to go—you have to take me back now!" she pleaded with him.

He was humiliated and dejected, but jealousy flared within him. "No, Christine. As I said, you will have your bath and meal at the estate. And then I will take you back to the shop." He gazed at her sullenly. "I apologize for my…inappropriate behavior. I assure you, it will not happen again. You have made your feelings clear." He straightened his waistcoat and tensed his jaw, turning his gaze toward the carriage window. "I never did anything but love you, you know. That's all I ever wanted to do. I feel utterly lost without you." He hung his head, feeling completely powerless to reach her.

"Raoul," she replied softly, laying a hand on his shoulder, "I know that you love me…and I am regretful that things have become so complicated. I never meant to hurt you. You are dear to me, and I have loved you since I was a child. We will always have our memories…" she trailed off, unsure of what else she could say to try and comfort him.

"I don't want the memories alone, Christine," he replied, turning slightly to cast her a longing glance. "I want a future with you."

Christine could not hold back her tears, and she cried as quietly as she could, looking out her carriage window. Why this torture, Lord? Why couldn't I have been stronger? Why couldn't I have chosen Erik to begin with? It would have made things so much simpler. The carriage pulled up to the vast de Chagny mansion and halted. Without a word, Raoul opened the door and extended a hand to Christine. She mumbled a "thank you" and stepped from the carriage, as Raoul led her to the front door.

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Christine jerked awake in a tub full of lukewarm water. She had dreamed of Erik, and the it had terrified her. She couldn't recall what had happened in the dream, but it left her with a great sense of uneasiness and foreboding. She washed her hair and rinsed it, standing up to dry off with the fluffy, monogrammed bath towel that Helene had given her. She was about to dress in the same clothes she had worn that day, when Helene knocked at the lavatory door. "Yes, Helene?"

"Mademoiselle Christine, I have some clean clothes for you…would you like me to lay them on the bed?"

"Clean clothes? But I--"

"Yes, the Viscomte had a lovely frock made for you. I'll leave you to finish up. Send for me when you require my assistance, please."

"Thank you, Helene," Christine called back to the maid, "I will be out to dress in a few moments." So, did he have this dress made while we were still engaged…or when he plotted to try and win my heart again? She wanted to believe that her instincts were incorrect, but she couldn't deny the fact that Raoul had very cleverly orchestrated the entire scenario. Why? Why did he search for such awful information about Erik? And why did he seek me out and insist on bringing me back here? She was angry and hurt, and it only increased her resolve to leave as soon as possible. Yet somewhere, in the back of her mind, she wondered if Raoul would even allow her to leave again.

She patted the dampness from her curls with the towel and then wrapped it around her body, stepping out into her old bedroom. She sighed, glancing at the gorgeous frock on the bed, made of yellow satin and taffeta, with tiny yellow roses lining the bodice. She thought that it was far too formal for her to be wearing to return to the seamstress shop. It was the frock of a future Viscomtess…not one of a former chorus girl turned diva turned lowly seamstress' apprentice. She thought it strange how the dress no longer suited her…just a week before, she wouldn't have thought twice about wearing such a decorated gown. But her life had changed since then…she had changed since then, she realized with a mixture of surprise and pride. She felt as though she could finally breathe and be who she really was, without fear of acting in a way unbecoming a future de Chagny.

She called for Helene, who was surprised to find Christine still wrapped in her towel. "Mademoiselle, is there something wrong?"

"Yes, in fact, there is. I do not wish to wear this frock. Is there something a bit less—formal—that I could wear?"

Helene stared at Christine. "You…you do not like the gown, Mademoiselle?"

"Oh, no. It's lovely. It's just that…I will be returning to the city shortly, and I wish to wear something more comfortable." She smiled at Helene, who seemed to understand at last.

"Perhaps I might have something of my own that you could wear. I…I know that I am just a maid, but if you would allow--"

"Just a maid?" Christine interjected. "Do you realize that you are speaking to a seamstress' apprentice?" She giggled and Helene couldn't help but smile.

"I'll be right back," Helene winked. Christine reached for the light and semi-sheer shift on the bed and pulled it over her head, dropping the towel to the floor. She stood looking at the yellow dress, tracing over the yellow embroidered roses with the pads of her fingers. She heard the door creak and laughed lightheartedly. "That certainly didn't take you long, Helene." Christine stopped short as she turned and found herself looking into Raoul's blue eyes--which were intently focused on the gentle curves of her body through the thin covering. "Raoul!" she shouted, moving quickly to snatch the towel from the floor. She tried to cover herself as he boldly stepped further into the room and closed the door behind him. Christine heard the sickening click of the lock and she stared at him, trembling with fear and anger.

Raoul raised a hand up to chest level, his palm facing her. "I'm only here because I want to speak with you, darling," he said, his voice clearly trembling with desire. "I—didn't expect to find you in this…position."

She glared at him and stepped backward. "If you were any kind of gentleman at all, you would leave at this moment!"

He could feel his cheeks becoming flushed as he watched her grow more agitated. Seeing her nearly naked and angry was making him feel as though he had little control of himself. He drew closer to her, and she stepped backward again, bumping into the large armoire behind her. "Christine," he breathed, reaching his hand up to caress her hair, "I remember when you did not shrink back at my touch, but welcomed it…and my desire for you has not changed, my love." He leaned in close to her and she turned her face from his, feeling his hot breath on her neck. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. "Please, Raoul…don't," she squeaked, her throat tightening around each word.

"You used to be tempted by my touch…you used to tell me that you loved me, Christine." He ran his index finger down the side of her neck and fingered the lace of her shift. "Can you honestly tell me that you are not tempted even now?" He lowered his mouth to her collarbone, and she let out a yelp, struggling to free herself from his grasp. She managed to wriggle out from between Raoul and the armoire, darting across the room to the large bay window. "Don't you take one more step, Raoul de Chagny!" she hissed at him, breathing rapidly. His eyes focused on her chest as she breathed in and out. "You are not the gentleman that I remember! You have changed within the span of mere days! You were supposed to be my friend, Raoul!" She began to sob, and he moved slowly toward her, his expression of lust turning to one of regret.

"Christine, please…"

"No! Don't, Raoul! Don't come near me!" She held out her arm before her, as if it would keep him away. "I refuse to stay here one more second! I am leaving! And if you try to keep me here, then you are more of a beast than you know!"

Raoul stopped suddenly, his proud stature fading into one of shame. "I—I'm so sorry. Forgive me." He looked into her eyes sadly, and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry." He turned toward the door, unlocking it, and stepped silently into the hall. Christine watched as he pulled the door closed behind him, but her feet refused to move from the spot where she had been standing. After several seconds, the door creaked open again, and Christine nearly shouted until she saw Helene's familiar face peering around the edge.

"Mademoiselle?" She smiled. Seeing Christine's terrified expression, she rushed to her side, concerned. "Mademoiselle Christine! What has happened? Are you alright?"

Christine could find no words. She embraced Helene tightly and sobbed into her shoulder for several moments before she was able to vocalize her thoughts. "I want to go home."

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A/N: Aw! And some of you were worried that Christine would give in to Raoul! Have you so little faith in her? LOL Thank you to those that reviewed. Any specifics on what you liked would be a good thing, if you have the time to write a few sentences. Thanks to everyone...even my lurkers! I hope you're enjoying it. -hugs-