The Initiation Chapter 37, a divergent trilogy fanfic

Thank you so much to Bamberlee for editing what is the longest chapter so far!💕

Thank you so much to everyone who read + reviewed the last chapter. And thanks for all your patience for this one! Cali was a blast but I am so happy to be home.

-Just a quick note: This chapter is super long. It does match back up with Everly's version, but it covers far more than her's did. So maybe get some snacks ready or something lol.

Have a lovely week everyone!

"Are you going?"

Rylan asks loudly, sliding me a muffin across the conference room table. I look over at him in confusion, not quite sure what he's inviting me to, but fully prepared to decline.

The past week had been long.

Very long.

Between making sure Everly was alright under the not so watchful care of Four, trying to find Evelyn, trying to figure out just why the fuck Jeremy was missing in action, monitoring every single faction, fixing Erudite's lack of leadership, fending off Peter, reading some print out Harrison kept shoving in my face, and attempting to listen to Everly talk about her day, I was close to either snapping at the next person who spoke to me, or having the second mental breakdown of my life. I could only drink so much coffee before my internal organs shut down, and I could only sign so many papers without looking before I approved something catastrophic.

"Am I going to what?" I ask him again, finally taking the muffin and staring at it.

"It's vegan." Rylan points out, sounding like he believes he's being helpful. "Just in case you were wondering."

"I wasn't." I answer. I set it back down, and he smiles.

A little too cheerfully for nine in the morning.

"I was asking if you were going to the Leadership Dinner. Will you and your wife be gracing us with your presence? There's a huge debate over if you two will really be there or not."

"Why do you care? You didn't even attend the last one." I point out, and he smiles again.

"Someone had to stay here." He rolls his eyes. "But I'm attending this one. And I want to make sure you and Everly are going."

"Yeah, sure. We'll be there." I shrug, and I decide to shove the muffin back at him. "Is Jason going?"

"Yes, yes he is." Rylan answers slowly, and he looks oddly enthused for such a mundane event. The last one might have tied with having dinner with Daniel and Blythe for worst event I'd ever been forced to attend. I might have had Everly in a pretty dress along for the evening, but I also had Ashley, doing her best to sabotage Everly in the bathroom, and Jeanine staring Everly down like she'd like to drag her away. "We'd like to sit by you."

"Why?" I stare at him, wondering just when the fuck he started caring about where he sat. "You'll know everyone there. But I'm sure Max can make that happen. Are you talking about you and Christina?"

"No, Four and I." Rylan looks insulted. "Yes, I mean Christina. Who else would I bring?"

"Beats me," I snap, and I shake my head. "And where is everyone? I thought this started at nine."

"It was supposed to." Rylan shifts his feet off the table, and glances around. "Aw shit, they moved rooms. They're meeting next door."

"Wonderful." I retort, grabbing the papers in front of me. "Who even scheduled this meeting? I thought we were done with this bullshit."

"We were," Rylan answers cheerfully. "Until Jeremy was reported officially missing." The two of us stand up, and Rylan grabs his vegan muffin to take along with him. "We'd also like to all color coordinate with whatever you're wearing. I was thinking we'd all wear black."

I throw him one very dark, murderous look. "Fine, I'm sure Four will wear whatever you ask him to."

He snorts in response, and I ignore him.

This day was already off to a stupid start, and I predicted it wouldn't get any better.

I'm right.

Our meeting we weren't even supposed to be having is long, my lunch is short, and it becomes all the worse when I catch a glimpse of Everly walking along with Four while I wait for the next meeting to start.

She looks happy, all smiles and a far more fitted training outfit than she normally wore, and she waves at someone in the distance. Four follows after her, his expression grim and grimmer, until he accidentally crashes into her because he clearly can't see her stopping right in front of him to greet someone.

I narrow my eyes at the screen.

He finally smiles, tightly, and they are suddenly surrounded by their class. I lose her in the crowd, but I know she's there, because they're all looking at her. They all seem happy she's back, but they also crowd around her, desperate to be close to her, desperate to absorb some of her good luck.

I keep watching, until my email dings. I open it up, a familiar name popping up on the screen, only to find out it's from Ashley. She's sent it from the email of the floor receptionist, and it's a thinly veiled attempt to figure out what's going on with their lack of leadership. Her email is friendly, despite having been slammed into the wall the last time I saw her, and she hints that she's forgiven me.

Her benevolence is pathetic.

I keep reading, until she asks that I please call her, because she has something to tell me.

But I'm not the only one reading it.

Jason is basically leaning across me to see what I'm doing, and his eyes widen when he reads that she'd be happy to find me a place to stay in case I wind up there overnight. Which she also implies will happen.

"Not a chance." He hisses, elbowing me to reply on Everly's behalf. I'm thrilled at his desire to dissuade me from going there, but I have never had less of a desire to see Ashley than now. I shake my head no, when he elbows me again, this time painfully hard.

"Will you stop that?" I snap at him, growing visibly irritated.

"Not on my watch!" He retorts, and in that moment, he manages to triumphantly grab my phone from me.

I react immediately; I do my best to smack it away from him, and he does his best to keep it away from me, out of fear that I might respond. Why he'd think that is beyond me. But he frantically pushes a few buttons, managing to delete the email and I lunge for him. He looks horrified when I finally knock the phone free, and it hits the edge of the table, shattering the screen.

The entire room falls silent, and he gingerly picks it up.

"Well…then…I'll uh, I'll just get that fixed for you," Jason announces slowly, and I realize everyone in the room is looking in my direction.

Their gazes are horrified, and they should be.

I can only nod at Jason wordlessly, pressing my lips together to refrain from yelling something.

"Go." I hiss.

He's gone before anyone can say a single thing, and Max awkwardly restarts our meeting, very delicately informing us that Jeremy is gone, and so are all his belongings.

The bloodied hand fills the screen, slashing wildly at nothing, as the camera pans away to reveal a wide open space. The TV is silent, until the thing lurches back into the bright sunlight, it's skin peeling away to reveal it's jaw bone.

I read Four's email out of the corner of my eye, only half watching.

"What is that?" Next to me, Everly sits up, tilting her head to get a better look at the TV screen. We'd been in here for a good hour so far. She'd watched something about people who hunted ghosts, lead by a douchebag with spiky hair, then skipped to this.

She wasn't far into it, but she clearly wasn't enjoying it. She hadn't really enjoyed the ghost show, either.

I read the last paragraph of Four's email, including the sentence about how Andrew Prior was willing to help, but wasn't quite sure how to proceed, and when I look at her, she's patiently waiting for my answer.

"It's a zombie." I eye her quickly, then I skip to the next email. I'd brought my tablet in here to get some work done, having put off half of it to prepare for the meeting with the Erudite candidates. I'd been busy, busy beyond busy, and it wasn't particularly pleasing to bring my work home.

But I told myself it was fine. Everly seemed to catch on to my unhappy mood through dinner; the minute we were done, she asked if I wanted to watch something, and I'd gratefully sunk onto the bed beside her. I let her pick out whatever she wanted, thinking it was better if her attention wasn't on me,

I should have known she'd have a million questions. I recline back further, my right arm draped behind her, and I unconsciously reach for the ends of her hair. She's staring intently, obviously having never seen such a creature. "It was a show about people who try to survive in a world overrun by them."

"I see." She squints at the TV, watching the leader appear from the shadows to ensure his group made it out safely.

I pull on the ends of her hair, still damp from her shower. "He's the leader. He woke up to discover everyone he knew was infected."

I gesture to the screen, to the dark haired man currently aiming his gun at the zombie. Everly isn't paying too much attention to it. She's busy trying to look at what I'm reading, and I close out of it completely. The email, while too lengthy for her to read in seconds, details our travel arrangements for Erudite. Information she doesn't need to see. I don't need her deciding she wants a repeat of my last mission, even though it's unlikely she'd convince anyone to take her anywhere.

But her interest is sweet, if not expected. She's been patient lately, having dealt with me being distracted by this, along with the hunt for Evelyn, and I felt shitty that the person I wanted to spend the most time with, was the person I was seeing the least.

"Do they all live?" She asks, scooting closer to me. Her t-shirt is oversized and hardly warm, and her pajama shorts are too short for anything really. She watches the man lead his team through the crowd, some slowing down, some attempting to get too close to the zombies, and every other sentence is him screaming for them to hurry up.

I strongly identify with him.

"I haven't watched them all," I mumble. I hadn't, mostly because I didn't have time. Jason had found this show, an entire series really, and had watched it over a week. Neither Rylan nor I saw him, until he emerged, pale and paranoid that we could have such an outbreak here. I vaguely remember him holing up in his office, refusing to do anything but research survival techniques. "There's a ton of episodes."

My fingers move on their own, finding Everly to be a pleasant distraction from my work. From the zombies. From Dauntless. From the thought of Dauntless, filled with zombies. I lazily work my way up and down her spine, until I reach her neck. She shivers, and I slide my fingers right into her hair.

The strands are dark against my fingers, and I tangle them there. She leans her head back, exposing the side of her neck to me, completely unaware of what she's doing.

"Do you know what next Saturday is?"

"My day off?" She answers, now distracted herself. On the screen, the leader pierces the zombie's skull with a knife, pushing hard to make sure it's dead. Everly's eyes widen when he jerks the knife out of the head, and moves onto the next one.

"It's the Annual Leadership Dinner."

She glances at me out of the corner of her eye, trying her best to pretend she's watching the TV. But her cheeks burn red, probably with the memory of our last leadership dinner together. It happened right after we slept together for the first time, and mere hours after I'd married her. I smile smugly, thinking how she'd signed the paperwork in a frantic hurry, thinking all she was doing was signing off on her training scores.

There was also the little matter of how I'd asked her to attend with me.

Which right now, doesn't seem like a bad idea.

"Should I ask you the same way I asked you last year?" I ask, enjoying when she giggles.

She leans in closer, always, until she's touching my arm but not looking at me.

"I can only hope you will."

Her answer is sweet and teasing, and she stares at the zombies with an intense focus. I toss my tablet to the nightstand, somewhat relieved when it doesn't break upon impact. I pretend to consider her answer, bending my head down and brushing her hair out of the way.

"Maybe tomorrow. I'll give you time to clear your calendar."

She shivers when my nose touches her skin, and I stay there longer than necessary. Eventually, she forgets about the zombies and the dinner, and she presses herself back against me. She's silent as my hands snake around her waist, pulling her closer, until she's in my lap.

Her show ends on a high note.

The leader successfully leads his team past the mass of zombies, and they celebrate their momentary win as the screen darkens.

On Monday, the final selections for Erudite are made.

The nominees are given mere days to put together a presentation for their interviews, and they're told to be ready. They'll present them at an unspecified time, in front of a panel who will be ready with questions.

Including me.

But it's not just us coming. It wouldn't be fair for Dauntless to have the sole deciding vote on this matter. So along with myself and Max, Jack and Johanna will be there.

So will Andrew Prior.

There's an interested, buzzy feeling that goes along with this trip because if we choose incorrectly, we could be looking at the second, or really- third coming of Jeanine. Selecting the wrong leader means a repeat of our current struggle, or even worse, someone who understood what Evelyn wanted. Someone who felt the same way, or maybe would be willing to listen to her.

This pressure to find the perfect leader is immense. The Erudite faction needs someone smart and well spoken, but also human. Jeanine was smart, but cold and calculating. Indifferent to what happened in her faction, unless it affected her directly. After taking a step back from her reign, I was able to see that while she had been able to have others forced respect, it was ultimately her undoing.

It could have been mine.

I neatly line up the pages of the candidate's bios, staple them together, and the thought of just how different my life could have been slams right into my head, hard enough that I wince. Had I continued working for her, my life would be entirely different. Had I never thought twice about what I was working on or opened my eyes to her ever changing and never concrete demands, I might not be sitting here.

Had I declined training Everly, I wouldn't have known her.

I would know of her, and I'd certainly know her name when it presented and highlighted as the next test subject.

I would have been dragging her right into Jeanine's office, her dark hair everywhere and my grip tight on her arm. I would have pushed her forward, right into the room where the testing would have commenced. Watch her fight for her life until it drained from her eyes, never having known her as more than a soldier with a secret to hide.

Maybe I'd have stayed to watch.

Maybe I'd have locked stares with her, her skin pale and sweaty, her green eyes pleading for me to stop Jeanine, knowing full well I didn't care at all what happened to her.

I think of her now, how I'd left her half asleep this morning, sleepily mumbling my name, and I realize I've been holding my breath for some time now.

On Tuesday, Four shows up in my office.

It's early. I'd left Everly in bed, still sound asleep, unaware that I'd spent half the night awake, agonizing over what I could have done to her. I suppose the ramifications of what I'd been doing never really hit me. I couldn't deny that I knew I was bringing people to meet their death. But ultimately, I had told myself it was my job. My responsibility. I was keeping the factions safe, ridding them of those who didn't belong, and who couldn't exist without ruining what we'd worked for.

Until Everly.

Until I realized that divergence, no matter the percentage, didn't define the person. At three percent, she was hardly out to dismantle the system or wreak havoc upon those around her. All Everly wanted out of life was someone to appreciate that she existed. For someone to look for her in the darkness, as well as the light. To mean something, ultimately – to someone.

And she did.

In a soul crushing, heavy way.

There was no way she'd know, or no way I'd ever come close to explaining what I felt for her. That my then seemingly juvenile feelings toward her, dismissed as a pathetic crush, had always been far more than that. That what I felt for her reached places in the very basis of each cell in my body, that I was often surprised at my own actions.

Including right now.

Four sits across from me, looking pale and somewhat sickly, and he slides a paper at me. He nods his head when I take it from him, and he is silent while I read it.

His mother's handwriting is familiar, neat and well written, but it takes me a long time to decipher what she's trying to say. It's dated some time ago, maybe before we went to take her down, maybe after. But that's not what's important.

It's what she's after.

I set the letter down on my desk, and I sit back in my chair. I look at Four, still silent and still waiting for me to say something, and I know this took everything in him to come here to bring this to me.

"Are you back with her?"

His head tilts at my words, and I realize I should clarify. He knows I'm still suspicious of him, and perhaps always will be.

"Tris," I announce her name slowly, louder than planned. "Are you back together with her? Is that why Evelyn's newest threat is toward our least valuable member?"

While his look of disdain is instant, it takes him a long time to nod. His relationship with Tris is no more my business than anyone's. I'm the last person he'd ever bring this up to, the last person he'd ever think of daring to bring this message to. But I know why he's here.

Because he knows. He knows this is bigger than what he can take on by himself. I know he's chosen to be selfless all over again, to put aside our rift, even at the chance I might lash out at him all over again, all to protect her.

The same way I'd do anything to protect Everly.

Of course, the similarities of our predicament don't sway me over to the dark side.

I still don't like him. Even now, I find him shifty and awkward, looking at me like he'd like to get up and walk out, but knowing better. I know he still doesn't believe Everly is safe with me, and every day I find myself in an unconscious battle to prove that she is. Sometimes to him. Sometimes to myself.

It's never ending, and never will be.

But I can appreciate him coming in here, because this note proves to me what I was thinking. That Evelyn is out there, and she isn't sitting pretty. She's simply biding her time, watching and learning, and now, she's carefully selected another target from Dauntless. Another person she'll use to cause harm and disruption, to drive her point in, just a little bit deeper. She might not have been successful with Everly, but this note goes to show she's learned. She's a little more careful. A little more clever.

A little more bold in her demands for our compliance.

"Do you think she'll come after her? Is there anyone in your class that you're thinking is involved or-" I start to ask Four, thinking out of anyone in the faction, he'll have this answer.

But he cuts me off, shaking his head furiously.

"No." He leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. "There's no one in the class who would be a threat. They're all here because they want to be. None of them work for Evelyn or are about to try anything. If they were, they'd have defected when they thought Everly was dead. But this, this is real. This is Evelyn, playing some game. Reminding me she's not happy and she's not going to stop until I'm not happy. So, how do I stop her? How do I tell Tris to watch her back, that I can't promise she won't wind up…in the same situation Everly was in?"

The room is silent, except for the groan of my office chair. I lean back, eyeing him carefully. I should get some satisfaction out of this, watching Four slowly descend into the very hell I'd crawled out of, but oddly enough, I don't.

"You don't tell her."

"What?" Four snaps his gaze at mine and shakes his head. "That's not right. She should know…she should…be aware something could happen."

"Could, but won't. Not after what happened with Everly. You have a higher risk of Jeremy returning and proposing to Tris than your mother showing up. She won't make it past the gates this time."

Four's face darkens, and I shake my head.

"I can't do anything more than I already am. You think we're sitting here, waiting for someone to show up and cause trouble? We aren't. Everyone in this faction, with the exception of a very select few," I pause, and he nods. "Are working to find Evelyn. Now, to make you look less depressed, I'll increase security around here. I'll…" I pause, and I roll my eyes. "I'll have Rylan keep an eye out for her. She and Everly both have orders to stay inside Dauntless until further notice. Fortunately for you, Tris's job keeps her here. I'll have him make sure neither of them leave. Beyond that, there's not much more I can do. Your best bet is to ignore your mother and her demands, and know that when she returns, I'll be waiting for her."

He nods.

Four still looks bothered, but I'm being honest with him. There isn't much else I can do to protect Tris, any more than I am. I couldn't assign both of them to sit in a room and stare at each other all day long. Everly had reminded me that living in fear was no way to live, and I refused to have either of them spend their days terrified of what could happen.

Ironically, this threat toward his second chance at what's probably the only happiness in his life, is nearly identical to mine.

"Thanks." He offers up, sounding very neutral. I suppose coming to me was like selling your soul to the devil. He was lucky, though. If he stayed out of my way long enough, I'd only remember this until the day he died. "I'll uh, I'll come back if anything else comes my way."

"You do that. Don't waste too much time thinking about Evelyn."

I answer him easily, watching as he rises, looking marginally less stressed than before. He shoves his hands in his pockets and takes off, leaving the note from his mother with me. I wait until my office door shuts before I open one of the drawers, fully prepared to shove this letter in there. There's a file, a neatly organized one, where the letter demanding my loyalty to Evelyn in exchange for Everly lies, and this one will join it.

I reach for the folder, grasping the flimsy manila in my hands, when it sticks. I realized it's jammed, having been shoved in there months ago when I could barely see straight. All it takes is one forceful pull from me, and it flies upward.

Beneath it, stacked in perfectly organized folders, is my entire life's work.

On Wednesday, I dress quickly.

Everly is around, eating her breakfast at the table and watching me march back and forth. There's an impatience to myself that I don't like; I'm not in any real hurry to get to Erudite, but this is one more day I'll be away from Everly. One more day when she'll stay here, with Four, and I won't be in the same faction.

Four's concerns stick in my mind, valid and pressing. What happened with Everly was calculated. Planned far in advance. Someone had watched her. Followed her. Knew when she was alone, when I wasn't there, or anywhere close to her. Knew who was manning the gates outside and knew when to take the opportunity presented to them.

It was unlikely it would happen again.

A war, sure.

A fight to the death, soldiers and factionless against one another, each determined to be the winner. Possibly.

But someone coming back in here, after Everly or Tris, that wouldn't happen.

Evelyn couldn't be that stupid.

Or could she?

This is what I think of as I turn to say goodbye to Everly. I bend down to kiss her goodbye, my lips touching hers briefly, too briefly, when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I have a feeling it's Max, ready to leave, or someone from the security team escorting us. My thoughts are forced away from her, right back to my work, and I break away from her quickly. I head toward my office rather pissed off, and when I get there, the sight of Rylan wearing an overly formal dinner jacket makes me stop in my tracks.

I realize it's my jacket, the one I'd worn to the first Leadership Dinner I brought Everly to, and before I can dare wonder how he has it or why he's got it on, I realize that in a few days, it'll be one year ago that I married Everly without telling her.

Erudite is not where I want to be today.

Normally, I'd welcome the break from Dauntless. I might even bring it upon myself to wander by Daniel's office, just to purposely not say hello. I would have sauntered by under the false pretense of being there to see someone else, just to irritate him, then returned once I'd had my fill of the hospital.

Today, I'm stuck in a meeting, listening to people argue over what qualities they want to see in their next leader. They are well aware they are the candidates, but each one seems to have something about them, some skill, some level of education, some plan, that makes them more qualified than the next.

The most prepared is Cara.

Because of me.

I sit there listening, but not really. I wonder what Everly is doing, and out of sheer boredom, I pay attention when Cara answers Max's question. She's younger than Jeanine, but just as put together. She sits up straight in her seat, answers politely, and isn't at all swayed by the heated arguments between the others. I decide she's the best choice, though a large part of that is because she seemed eager to help.

I slump in my chair, looking at my phone to check my messages when I feel Andrew Prior shift in his seat next to me. He hadn't said a single word to me other than a quick hello, and I knew he was thinking he had a cover to keep. I wanted to inform him he wasn't auditioning to be our latest spy or action hero. I simply wanted him to tell me what the fuck Marcus was doing. I didn't need a blood pact or our own secret code.

Just the facts.

But he takes his job seriously. He listens to the candidates, smiles, and every so often, looks at me out of the corner of his eye.

I text Jason.

I ask him if there's any word from Jeremy, and his no is expected. He does tell me Peter has asked to have Karl return to his position, now short not just a man, but a supervisor. I smirk, knowing he probably doesn't like the work load, and I tell him no.

"I think it's time we take a break." Max announces, and the dull roar of just how anthropological one is, comes to a screeching halt. I can see the boredom on his face, mixed with the pain of sitting here, amongst the most brilliant of Erudite, listening to them speak for hours without coffee.

"I agree." I shove my chair back, and Andrew startles, having been lost in thought. "Let's take an hour. I need something to eat."

I'm immediately met with several suggestions of where to eat, and I decide I don't want to spend any more time with any of these people, not even Jack. I ignore Max suggesting we eat together with Andrew, and I head out on my own. I'm far ahead of everyone, and I take the stairs rather than waiting for the elevator. I reach their cafeteria first, and I pick the furthest booth out of the way.

For the first time all day, I enjoy the silence.

I sit back in the booth and I don't have to listen to anyone. I do use this time to check my phone again – still no Jeremy, still no reprieve for Karl, and I ask Jason what Four's doing. He doesn't answer immediately, so I click out of it, and I hover over Everly's name.

Before I can call her, hoping she'll have a break from training, Cara shows up.

I give her credit for pausing by my table, and more credit when she says she has a few questions for me. I nod, not because I want her company in any way, but because I want to make sure she's the right choice.

When her gaze falls to the wedding ring on my finger, my eyes narrow at her, and I find myself doubting my decision.

"How long have you been married? I'd heard you got married a while ago, but no one knew if it was true or not."

Turns out, even the most brilliant of Erudite weren't immune to the gossip of what went on in other factions. She waits for me to answer, rather expectantly, but before I can rip her throat out for asking me such a question, she shakes her head.

"I apologize if that comes off as invasive. You had asked me about my life when we spoke a few days ago, and I was just curious if the rumors about you were true. I didn't mean to offend."

I stare at her. I had only asked a few basic questions about her life to ensure she'd be committed. An ideal candidate would put the faction first, and Cara's profile had come up with very little information on her private life. I suppose the question about my own personal life is fair, but that doesn't mean I'm going to answer it.

"Does it matter?" I ask, and my gaze is sharp on her. "Are you going to tell me something different if I'm not?"

"No." Cara shakes her head, and she smiles. "But I haven't seen many from Dauntless wear a wedding band. I thought maybe you wanted people to know and that's why you wore it."

"I don't care who knows." I take a large bite of whatever I ordered, and I shake my head right back at her. "But you'll have to understand, people seem to have a very vested interest in my wife lately."

"I heard…what happened to her. She must be a very strong person to have survived that." Cara looks impressed. "I was hoping she'd be here today. I wanted to meet her."

"Well, she's not." I take another bite of my sandwich, and the food is much better here than in Dauntless. "She's working."

"I understand. Did you know that I know your father?" Cara offers up, and the sandwich sticks in my throat. "He's friends with my dad. My dad works a few floors below his. I've had dinner with him a few times. He showed us a picture of her. I thought she was very pretty."

"She is." I answer without thinking, my gaze now glued to her. "Who's your father?" I rack my brain, annoyed I didn't make this connection sooner. "Do I know him?"

"I don't know if you would." Cara shrugs. "I thought maybe that was why you emailed me. Maybe you were doing him a favor. I was suspicious that I was being used for something."

I stare at her.

She's not entirely wrong.

She's not entirely right either.

"You're not. I found your application to be the one best suited for the faction's needs. The others…we need someone who can look past the position. Past the power and authority that come with it. You seem level headed. Like you'd be easy to work with."

"I know you worked for Jeanine." Cara reaches for her drink, and her words are very clear. "I have no interest in the same…arrangement. But, if you wind up selecting me, I'd be more than happy to help you however I could. Your father spoke very highly of you." She pauses and finds my stare. "Both you and Everly."

"I see."

It's the first time she's said her name, and it hangs in the air between us. I finally see her, really see her, and realize this will be fine. She's young enough to be impressionable, yet ambitious enough that she'd be willing to take direction if it meant benefiting her faction.

"Will you bring her? Next time?"

She asks nosily, but also not nosily. Like she'd really like to get to know her, even though she has absolutely no reason to.

I wait before I nod, silently confirming there will be a next time.

Cara is smart, and I find myself applauding my own intelligence at how this is turning out.

Everly's text message arrives on our walk back from lunch.

I read it quickly, her panic loud and clear, and it's followed by Jason's. He includes several tiny skulls, an X, and a knife after he confirms Jeremy's status has been changed to missing in the census database. His message explains Everly's panic that Jeremy is lurking somewhere in the depths of Dauntless, so I tell her not to worry.

I also tell her not to leave or make dinner.

I reassure her I'll be home early, then I shove my phone in my pocket, and return to a cold, marbled conference room.

Upon my return, I find Ashley in the hallway.

Standing.

Waiting.

Watching.

She has no real reason to be here, yet here she is. While not unusual for her, today her gaze is sharp and cold. She crosses her arms over her chest, visibly annoyed at my presence. Were I anyone else, I'd find a speck of guilt for what had happened. For the fact that I'd violently shoved her into the wall, ready to kill her for what she'd said to me. For ignoring her email, a stupidly bold move on her part meant to try to lure me back to her, even if it was just to find out what would happen to Erudite. For not bothering to care at all about how she felt, because no matter how bitchy or conniving she was, I knew she wasn't happy.

But I am.

That's what leaves her reeling, still attempting to figure out what was different. Why she no longer could hold my attention the way she thought she once did. Why I wasn't so willing to let her have her way, accepting whatever menial attention I threw at her.

She knew Everly had everything she wanted, and it was real.

I feel it now, catching sight of Ashley's dark blue skirt, her too high heels, her unbuttoned blouse. The sharp jacket. The sharper nails.

None of that had ever made me happy, and it never would.

What I felt for Everly was something I'd never imagined possible, but there it was. Blinding and bright, the feeling that I was a part of something bigger than all this. More than my life of rules and order. More than the scowl that so frequently appeared on my face to express my constant state of exasperation. More than myself.

I had something no one else did, and I wasn't going to be swayed by someone who's own lust for power had rivaled my own.

I stalk past her without blinking, focused only on how to end this parade of intelligence so I can go home. To my wife, who would be warm and probably asleep, buried beneath my sheets. Waiting for me to return to her, more than happy to see me.

I ignore the hot, angry rush of frustration from Ashley. The spiteful sneer when I pause to open the door, her gaze burning my back. The desperate and silent plea for me to simply turn the fuck around and just look at her.

I ignore all of it.

I focus on a lone Andrew Prior, sitting there, patiently waiting for the meeting to resume. He smiles at me, hesitantly, but not entirely forced. I sink down into the chair beside him, and I smile back. Not entirely forced, but not entirely pleasant.

"We have a few things to discuss, don't we?"

He nods his head, and I spend the next few minutes listening to him speak, filling me in on exactly what I need to know.

We return to Dauntless long after the sun has gone down. Visiting Erudite had eaten up almost my entire day, stretching well into the night. I had texted Everly that I would be home late, and her response was understanding. To my dismay, it was announced we'd have dinner as a group, and I had no choice but to join. It wasn't entirely a waste of time. While eating, we discussed who each of us thought the ideal candidate was. I was thrown off by some of their answers, but relieved that I wasn't the only one who felt Cara should accept the title. There was a sense of accomplishment in this, especially when the decision was nearly unanimous.

We left in the same group.

I was annoyed at how late it was, but I couldn't change that now. The candidates filed out with us; Erudite was deserted, most having gone home for the evening, and the dark sky seemed darker than normal.

Cara had looked at me expectantly, perhaps thinking I'd nod in her direction to give her the job on the spot, but I didn't. Not yet. This discussion would continue in a day or so, but not now. I bid them all a short goodbye, heading toward the truck we'd taken here, and I don't look back. I wait while Max says goodbye to Jack, and seconds later, he joins me.

Our drive home was quiet.

For the first few minutes, I listened to him talk about his plans for the weekend. I tuned him out, only paying attention when he brought up the Leadership Dinner again. He was oddly excited for it, and I rolled my eyes at the thought of an evening stuck in a room filled with all the other Leaders. I spent the next half of the drive home replying to Rylan's text messages. Despite his lack of interest in who was awarded the position, he was awfully concerned about it.

Eventually, he asked me how Cara was, and I forgot to reply. I drive through the gates, catching a glimpse of Peter, looking extremely impatient and put out as he waves us through. I pay no attention to him. I drive around to park, and Max asks me one more fucking time if I'm sure Everly and I will be at the Leadership Dinner.

I eye him while I answer yes, and I silently swear that he better not seat me next to anyone I hate, or I will kill him.

My suspicions are correct.

I find Everly at home, fast asleep.

It would have been foolish of me to expect her to be awake. It was late; both cold and dark, and there was no way she'd manage to stay up. I walk into my bedroom to see her deep beneath the covers, and I decide after this long day, after being away from her for hours, and after Max asking me twice, this was the perfect time to invite Everly to the Leadership Dinner.

I don't hate the idea completely.

Sure, I thought the event was stupid. Leaders from each faction, crowded in a room, pretending they got along with one another. It was more of a chance to level the playing field. Everyone wanted to know what everyone else was doing. Even if they were pretending to selflessly exist, or they were day dreaming of dandelions, they were human. Which meant they were curious, and the best cure for that was casually observing your fellow leaders while eating a fancy meal.

It also meant that, for the second time, Everly would be there with me. She'd be there officially as my wife, but she was officially my wife the last time, too. She just didn't know it. Her name plate had read Everly Coulter, but she'd had no clue how accurate that was.

This time would be different.

She'd be coming along as a future leader, as well as Everly Coulter. There was an importance to her, one she had no clue even existed, but she would.

I'd make sure of it.

I think about this thought, liking the way it feels in my mind, as I climb onto my bed. I push the comforter off her, and I'm right. She's warm and half asleep, her eyes only opening when my fingers touch her hipbone. I slide them across the top of my own boxers she has on, then beneath the waistband of her underwear.

She blinks.

I hover over her, my knees placed on each side of her, and my fingers against her skin. Her eyes finally open wider, realizing what I'm doing. Everly pushes herself up halfway, when my fingers skim down lower before returning to her hip bone. When I meet her stare, she's looking up at me, and her eyes are dark.

"Hi, Everly."

"Eric!" She blurts out my name when I hit a particularly sensitive spot, squirming uselessly. "What are you doing? When did you get home?"

"A little bit ago. You looked a little lonely in here." My words are dragged out purposely. I curl my fingers around her skin, spurred on by the mere sight of her. "Did I wake you?"

I shift my weight forward until I'm covering her. I don't bother to wait for her reply. I drop my head down to her neck, and my mouth finds warm skin beneath her hair. I kiss her slowly, enjoying everything. The way she smells. The saltiness of her. The way she reacts.

Her response is immediate and always pleasing. She reaches up until her hand finds the back of my hair. She digs her fingers in, pressing me closer. Urging me on. Always wanting me as close as possible.

That thought alone is intoxicating.

"Everly." I say her name against her skin, my lips pressing the word right into her. "I need to ask you something."

"Yes?" She answers, clearly not all that interested. Her yes is followed by a giggle, as I kiss my way down her neck. I linger there, feeling her inhale sharply.

"Come to the Leadership Dinner with me. Next Saturday." I catch a mere flash of her green eyes before I kiss her. It's rougher than I planned and admitting to myself that I planned to kiss her is embarrassing. But I don't care. I press my lips firmly against hers, then I break away to look at her.

"Leadership Dinner?"

Her gaze is a million miles away. Combined with her flushed skin and her fingers pulling me back to her, I can tell it's the last thing she's thinking of.

I smirk at her thinking this was going somewhere else. " Yes. You can come as my date."

Her scowl at my teasing is immediate. It's cute; her expression darkens, and her lips turn downward as she pretends to be mad. "What would you do if I said no?"

Her threat is also cute. I let my head drop down, and my nose touches hers briefly. "I'd have to hope Four looks good in a dress."

"That's not funny," She tries to sound tough, but she's smiling. Doing her best not to laugh at that idea. She then tilts her head, pretending to think about my offer for a moment. After a dramatic pause, in which I decide if she really doesn't want to go, then neither will I, she nods her head. "Fine. I'll go with you."

"Good." My lips touch hers again, and they are softer than I remember. "I'll make dinner for you tomorrow." I promise, mumbling against her lips. I pull back when she struggles to sit up, and her gaze is directly on mine. "Sorry about tonight."

She smiles happily at me. My words are sincere, only for her, and she knows this.

"It's alright. Why were you gone all day?" Her fingers stay on my skin, urging me to sink back against her. I know she's doing her best to appear like she was fine with this, but I also know she missed me. I'm not blind. Her legs are currently wrapping themselves around mine, and her free hand slides up to touch my chest.

I shrug, wishing I had been doing something more exciting than being in Erudite. "I sat in on three of their meetings, and I listened to five people argue about which traits they deem necessary that their new leader possess. It was a long, aggravating day."

Everly nods, right as my mouth finds hers again. I kiss her for a long time; my free hand finds her hair, tilting her head up toward me. She is warm and soft and all that is good in my life, and I decide I will remedy this stupid day with her. "God, I missed you."

I say the words against her lips and she pulls me closer.

Eventually, I kick the comforter back and away. The sheet follows. I pull the tank top off her. My t-shirt. Both pairs of my boxers.

Eventually, she's beneath me, one leg hitched back and held in place with my hand, the other tangled with my own. She says my name as a sigh, each time warmer and softer. My free hand moves to find hers, tangling our fingers together to hold onto her. I stare down at her, her eyes half way closed, lips parted, cheeks red and I realize one major difference I'd over looked. I'd missed it all those times before, but now, it's clear as day.

I was home.

This was what coming home felt like.

It's Everly, her small frame covered by mine, her feet pressing against my calves and her fingers digging into my hair. It's her, in my bed, where she'd been from the start.

It's her gasping my name as the world fades away, and myself following suit right along with her.

The Leadership Dinner might be more annoying than trying to find Evelyn.

It comes at a time when some might find it necessary. What our factions needed. The atmosphere through each faction had been dark and tense. First, a kidnapping of not just a member of Dauntless, but my wife. Then, a high security alert to look for Everly, flashed up until her death was announced. Then, another high security alert, announcing Evelyn was a wanted criminal. To make sure everyone was careful and smart, aware of their surroundings at all times. It left the factions on edge, but for good reason. We all had a threat hanging over our heads, and this dinner could be the break we all needed.

Not me.

I didn't need it.

I'd prefer to find Evelyn and murder her in front of Four, just to really drive my point home.

But instead I found myself getting measured, once again, by Christian. While Rylan watched, mouthing words I couldn't make out and lounging precariously on the oversized dressing room bench.

"Are you almost done?" I bark when Christian measures the length of my pants again, and Rylan snickers. He raises his eyebrows at me, and this time, he half whispers, half mimes what appears to be an explosion. Or some kind of nocturnal creature. I can't tell.

"Eric, have you been working out more than usual? You seem…bigger than the last time I saw you." Christian's voice is cheerful, and I glare down at him while he fumbles with the tape measure. "For real. We may need to adjust your uniforms, too."

"Bigger. Yeah, Eric is much bigger lately." Rylan calls out, and his voice cracks as he tries his hardest not to laugh. "He's been hitting the gym with his buddy Four. I think they're doing this program designed to get beach body ready."

"Beach body? You don't say. Do we even have a beach?" Christian answers, not really listening. I glare at Rylan over Christian's head, something dark and murderous. "Well, it's been working, whatever it is."

"I haven't been doing anything."

My answer is flat, because not only does Rylan look like he's about to explode, but because I hadn't been doing much of anything. I'd spent a lot of time in bed with Everly, and a lot of time looking at Four's sad little expressions when he stared at Harrison's maps.

This was my life now.

I was still as fit as ever but heading down to the gym had become my last priority.

"It must be all those vegan muffins you had. Your body is now an optimal, fuel burning machine." Rylan gasps, and his face is bright red. "I told you the benefits were endless."

He wheezes the last part, so amused he can hardly contain himself.

"You're vegan?" Christian asks. "Wow. Who would have thought?"

"Yeah," I answer through gritted teeth. "Who would have thought."

"Okay, I can have this ready by the end of today. Now," Christian pauses to rise, shoving his oversized glasses up his face. "When is Everly coming by? Her dress might take me longer. I'll need new measurements for her, too."

"She's not." I answer, reaching for my jacket I'd taken off. Rylan looks at me in horror, as though he too had assumed she'd be heading down here.

"Why on Earth is she not? Doesn't she need a dress? What could she possibly be wearing?" Christian questions me rapid fire, blinking furiously. "Are you serious right now? Eric, don't do this to me. What will the other factions think? Our reputation is on the line here."

"Our. Our reputation." Rylan mouths at me, and I decide I'm never speaking to him again.

"She doesn't have time." I declare, not knowing at all if that were true. "I'm sure she'll go to the shops with her friends. The smarter of the two likes shopping, so she'll probably take her."

"You mean Christina," Rylan winks at me. "I got you. She'll take her. There's nothing she likes more than playing human Barbie doll."

"The shops?" Christian stares at me like I've suggested Everly show up in her training uniform. "You're…you're just sending her to pick out something… off the rack?!"

"Don't you design all the clothes here?" I squint at the tiny man in front of me, forcing myself to not drop kick him across the room. "I'm sure she can find something to wear in the mass amounts of clothing you produce."

"Ugh." Christian sort of hisses at me, retreating back a step and clutching a tablet to his chest.

"I mean, yes, I did design those dresses. But not for her. Not knowing she'd be going to this ball…"

"It's a dinner." I remind him. "She went to dinner in Erudite and guess what? She wore a dress and a sweater. It was great."

"It was not great." Rylan disagrees from across the room, and I hate him all over again. "Everyone hated her."

"Eric." Christian flounders, looking at me more disappointed than anyone in my entire life ever has. "She wore what? A sweater? We finally get someone in here who doesn't dress like a futuristic preteen emo child bride, and you had her wear a sweater."

"It didn't even fit her." I smirk. "It fell off her shoulders every time she took a step. And I'm pretty sure she bought the dress when she first got here, so that didn't fit her, either."

"Are you trying to hurt me? Did I do something to you to deserve this? Did I make your pants too short?" Christian asks, and Rylan bounces over to us.

"If it makes you feel better, the dinner probably sucked because of Everly's offensive outfit." He cheerfully interjects. "Maybe you should have Christian make her something. Just think about it."

I decide he's about to be joining Karl.

"No."

I step down off the platform, fully done with this. I take off, and I make it to the front of the store before I realize I've forgotten my phone. I sigh in exasperation, stalking back through the store to find Christian and Rylan standing there, patiently waiting for me.

"I knew you'd change your mind," Christian grins.

I grab my phone off the bench, and I storm away without answering him.

It wasn't that I didn't want him making something for Everly. Or that I wanted her showing up in something hideous and ill fitting. Or that she didn't deserve to have him whip up the dress of her dreams.

It was once she realized Christian would make her whatever her heart desired –an endless supply of sundresses that didn't stay on, or toddler sized nightgowns that I'd be stuck watching her flit around my apartment in, I'd be fucked. I'd spend my days unable to do anything but stare at her shoulders, or her bare legs, and I'd be one hundred percent screwed. She'd forget about the uniforms I should be encouraging her to wear, in favor of the softest skirts and slipperiest shirts, and I'd have everyone looking at her.

I decide I'll give her my card, and I'll cross my fingers she'll never meet Christian.

A day later, I do exactly that.

I give her my card.

She's quite the sight considering she just woke up, but I want her to take it before I head into work. Since she'd agreed to come along as my date to this dinner, she'd need to wear something other than a sundress. Other than what she wore last year, and something that announced who she was.

Since I'd rather sacrifice myself to Arlene than partake in finding such a dress, I'd told Rylan to tell Christina she would go with her. He told me she responded immediately, in all caps, which was expected.

"Don't I have a card?" Everly takes the card from me slowly, a confused look spreading across her face. "I got one but…"

She pauses, and I know full well she doesn't know where it is. Or the last time she'd used it.

"It was cancelled a while back with your other cards. Back when you were…" I stop, hating to announce that while I thought she was dead, someone in accounting decided it would be a great time to remind me that per protocol, all deceased member's accounts were made inactive. "Just…take mine. Buy whatever you want. Christina said she'll go with you."

"Okay." She answers, and the look on her face tells me she knows what I was avoiding saying.

I'm right.

"You can say it, you know." She informs me, stepping closer. Her feet are bare, and my shirt that she's wearing hangs off her shoulder. The neckline on this one was stretched out. Jason had grabbed the collar in a fit of anger while we had gotten in an argument years ago, but I'd held onto it for some reason. Never in a million years did I think it would be so Everly could sleep in it.

"Say what?" I answer crankily, refusing to remember a time when she was presumed to be dead. "You were gone. They turned all the cards off."

"Eric, I'm very much alive." Everly reminds me, and her smile is just as sweet as her words. "You don't have to pretend it didn't happen. Being taken by Evelyn."

I stare at her, and she rises up on her toes.

"Everly…"

"Thank you for your card. I'm sure Christina will find something that's perfect for the dinner."

"God, maybe I should go with you." I groan, suddenly afraid of what she was going to buy. Her clothes were by no means awful, but she couldn't seem to figure out what season it was, or that they made clothes in a size that fit her. "Your dress last year was fine. Just…something nice. It's a formal dinner. Probably more formal than last years."

"I'm on it. One slightly more formal dress that Christina won't like." Everly grins, and she kisses me quickly. I immediately grasp a handful of her hair, and I want to hold onto her for longer. "I'll see you tonight."

"Tonight." I repeat, kissing her one more time. I eventually let go of her, and she lets go of me with one final look. "I'll see you then."

I leave her in my kitchen, clutching both my card and a coffee mug. I look back at her to make sure she's really there, and she is. It seems like forever ago that I would leave without a second thought, never so much as entertaining the idea that Everly would still be here.

But she is.

Watching me leave with her smile bright as ever.

"How's the shopping expedition?" Rylan asks, propping his feet up on the chair next to him.

We'd been sitting in the conference room for a good half hour now. Quinten had brought up a catered breakfast, something he never did, which left me suspicious to eat it. But I was hungry, and I'd watched Jason down two pancakes without dying, so I decided to join in.

"Beats me. I just told her to buy whatever she wanted." I take a bite of the eggs in front of me, pleasantly surprised. "Why did Quinten bring this up here? Why is it so much fancier than what he normally makes? Last week, he served spaghettios for three days straight."

"He said he's practicing." Jason answers, then immediately clamps his mouth shut. He looks at Rylan, then at me. "For…getting better. Because he's awful…at cooking. I should know. I spent a week with him."

"Yeah he is," I agree without a second thought. I take another bite, and swallow down what might be the best thing he's ever made. "What is he practicing for?"

"Beats me." Rylan answers, smiling at his phone. He looks disgustingly happy, and Jason and I both silently watch him as he types for a very long time. He looks up and raises an eyebrow at us. "What? What are you two staring at?"

"You." Jason answers mockingly. "Is that…your girlfriend that you're messaging so frantically?"

"Do we really need titles around here?" Rylan types back quickly, his fingers tapping at the screen. He sets it down to reveal a block of black hearts beneath a picture of him and Christina. "Other than Eric. He likes titles. And the archaic institution of marriage."

I glare at him out of the corner of my eye. "She won't give in, will she?"

"Nope." Rylan answers back, still as cheerful as ever. "She doesn't like the idea of being tied down. But that's okay. Eventually, she'll change her mind. And I'll be here waiting. Or not."

Jason meets my stare, shrugging. I'd had dinner with Rylan the night before. I'd listened to him talk about Christina very sneakily. He mentioned her here and there, bringing her up in between other topics. If you listened hard enough, it was easy to see they were happy together. And apart. They both liked their freedom and neither was willing to give that up so easily.

"Great." Jason answers, and his attention is elsewhere. "Anyone hear anything new about Jeremy? I overheard someone saying they thought they saw him near Candor, but no one could confirm that rumor."

"Nah," I take a long drink of my coffee. "Nothing. We've run all the security tapes a few times now. Peter would be the first one to run in with that information and they haven't seen shit."

"I have to go." Rylan stands up, shoving his mostly full plate away. "I'm meeting Christina for lunch."

"It's nine in the morning." I point out, but he's undeterred.

"I gotta get ready. I'll see you later."

"Well that's strange." Jason watches him bounce out of the room, and he shakes his head at me. "Are you working the rest of the day?"

"No. Just a few more hours. I'm cleaning out some old files I found. I wanted to get rid of them before someone else finds them."

"Good plan." Jason nods, and the two of us resume eating.

It was a good plan.

The files in my desk were definite proof of my work. Proof of an Eric with a different agenda, one who could potentially still be charged if those files ever got out. I'd been smart while I worked on them; I chose to keep everything on paper, printing it out and deleting it from existence so it couldn't be found. But I didn't feel so smart now. My life's work was sitting there, ready to be plucked out of the drawer and opened up.

I had no choice but to get rid of them.

It feels sort of symbolic in a way, the thought of disposing of the papers just as I had disposed of the woman who'd encouraged them.

I don't give it much thought now. I finish my breakfast, wondering when on Earth Quinten had learned to cook.

I return home with the papers in hand.

I sink down onto my couch, my intent purely to flip through the pages and make sure I had everything that I wanted to destroy. I knew exactly what I was looking at, exactly what should be there, and I knew this shouldn't take me long.

Instead, I find myself reading them page by page.

They are aggressive, even by my standards, and my signature is on all of them. At the time, I approved of what Jeanine was doing. I liked the power and control behind them, the authority to drag someone in simply because their results weren't ideal or perfect, and the sheer high of knowing I was on top. I had everything I could dream of, cleanly spelled out in a contract between Jeanine and me.

Now, the black ink seems appropriately dark. It's printed on page after page of testing results, page after page of percentages and other red flags. Notes from Jeanine. Emails. Memos. A notice to pay attention to something she was looking for in Abnegation.

A page with Everly's name on it.

That one sits near the top of the pile.

Her name is on several reports; once as Everly Carlen, and a few times as Everly Coulter. The latter ones were attempts from Ashley to push Everly's name to the top, making her the next victim of Jeanine's work. Her hope hinged on Everly being called in, perhaps tested and eventually killed when she failed, all for a measly three percent.

I flip through these slowly.

Her name, again.

My name.

It's mixed in with other reports that now mean nothing. Uses for the serums. Other uses for the serums, some as side effects, some as a main factor. A plan of attack on the factions if they didn't cooperate at a certain point. A list of those who held important positions in each faction, broken down by those directly beneath them.

A waste of my life.

All those hours spent, days working my life away for someone else. Months, when I'd focused only on what Jeanine wanted, shorting myself on my own existence. Only now can I see this, but back then, it was just another day at work.

I'm lost in this mental torture when I realize she's home. Everly Coulter is standing right in front of me, with her gaze focused on the table. If she were to come closer, she'd get an eyeful of my life before her. It's dark and exposing, and not what I'd love for her to be staring at.

But she is.

Of course she is.

She walks closer, coming to an immediate stop when she reads the paper on top. A neat little game plan that involved total domination over all the factions. My active role in this plan. My agenda, to bring this plan into fruition.

She reaches down to flip the page over, her eyes skating over the plans.

I'd never acted on them.

I wondered if I would have, had things been different. Her fingers curl on the page as she raises it up, no doubt realizing who she's married.

"Everly." I say her name darkly, wishing I'd tossed them before she got back. She's got a funny look on her face but finding out that I could have been the one leading soldiers through each faction to destroy them is not what she was expecting to find. I reach up for her blindly, grasping her by her elbow. "Everly, they're not anything current. I found them in my office. I'd forgotten I left them in there."

I pause, and my stare finds the Erudite logo, stamped on the top. "They were Jeanine's. I never went through with them."

She nods. She stays frozen in place, still looking at them. If only she knew that at one point, I'd have appreciated such plans. Admired Jeanine's desire for control and order. Found myself soothed by the thought of a society where everything clicked perfectly, and everyone knew their place.

Things had changed when I met her. The rigid, totalitarian ideals no longer seemed appropriate. Losing Everly to a system I was single handedly enforcing wasn't something I could let happen. I'd let go just as quickly as I'd signed on, fully accepting the consequences of what could happen. It had turned out for the best, but it feels dirty now. A dark past, ripped back up and laid out in front of me, and now, her.

She looks at me and bites her lip. "I know."

Her apprehension is completely understandable. I knew better than anyone that Four's warning to her came with weight behind it, and this was why. It didn't matter how different things were now. It was still there, in black and white.

I let go of her arm, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees. She's staring at a page with a detailed attack on her former faction, and I sigh when she sets the paper down.

"Why do you have them?" She walks past me, then sinks onto the couch beside me. She curls her legs beneath her, and she's as close as ever. I'd half expected her to back away, perhaps finding Four to tell him he was right. If he wanted proof of what I was capable of, here it was.

"I was cleaning out my office. I found them shoved in one of the drawers. I didn't want to dispose of them there." I look right at her, and she looks right at me. In an odd moment, she nods her head, as though this was something completely normal.

"Do you want me to throw them away?" She asks, smiling at me.

I raise my eyebrow at her, slightly taken back.

I was expecting her to launch into a million questions. Was this why I'd married her without telling her? Was this the reason I'd spoken about, the unspoken horror I'd hinted at when I said I would protect her? Was this why it was imperative she stay with me, rather than wind up out in the faction on her own?

It was.

All of it.

"You can burn them." I announce. I lean back against the couch, putting my hands behind my head. She shifts slightly, her knees grazing my thigh. "I didn't mean for you to see them. I was reading them over and thinking what a waste of my time that all was."

She stares at me.

Her eyes are glued to me, green and bright, as she thinks about something. She's never once pressed for an explanation of the rumors I'm sure she's heard, and I'm grateful for that. Now more than ever.

When I look over at her, she's lost in thought, her stare a million miles away. She looks lovely in the warm lighting, and it wouldn't take much for me to reach over and yank her against me. I felt like in this swirl of chaos, both self-inflicted and not, I was often too distant. I had long lived in my head; it was familiar and easy to sit and internalize the things I dealt with. It would be unfair to dump them on Everly. She'd never asked to be involved in any of this, and I didn't want her to.

Which was why I'd barely seen her. Why her assignment had changed to working with Four. It kept her busy, I knew where she was, and she was out of this storm of Evelyn that ate up all my time. I'm sure she felt it, this shift of distraction. But she'd been quiet herself, busied by training the class, and slipping into bed with me the second I hinted I was tired.

"Did you find a dress?" I ask, changing the subject. The papers in front of me are still there, and they will be until I get rid of them.

Everly nods her head, and her eyes widen in delight. "Do you want to see it?"

I smirk in response. I hadn't seen her walk in with it, but maybe I'd missed it.

"You can surprise me. Is it pink?" I tease, trying to figure out what she'd picked. I'd seen the charge on my card, the alert popping up to ensure that I, Eric Coulter, was making such a purchase. But now, I was wondering what it looked like. I was envisioning the worst, something tight and sparkly and undeniably pink.

"I guess you'll find out." Everly teases right back, moving closer to me. A second later, she's on my lap, sitting down so her back is against my chest. I reach for her without thinking. I bring my legs up, adjusting her so she's closer, and I pull the ends of her hair, twirling them around my fingers. She leans back further, sighing happily once she's comfortable.

"Just as long as it looks better on you than Four…"

She laughs, and after the last hour, the sound is very pleasant.

"Why didn't Four want to be a leader again?" Everly asks, both curious and intrigued. I want to laugh at her question, for he'd been offered the job a few times, but he'd always refused with some elaborate reasoning. I'm sure he found it beneath him; our ideals too harsh for his fragile soul, and our guidelines nothing he wanted to enforce.

I refrain some saying this out loud, though. I had him to thank for Andrew talking with me, and I suppose that earned him a few points.

"He didn't appreciate some of the ideas that were being encouraged. We were integrating some things that he didn't believe in. So, he chose another position," I answer as indifferently as possible. Everly tilts her head to the side while she contemplates my answer, and her fingers find my free hand. She pulls it up, and I hold it in place while she examines my fingers one at a time. Her hand is much smaller than mine, but her skin is just as pale.

"It would have been very different if Four had been a leader. He might have been my trainer." She sounds like she's trying to be funny. I roll my eyes even though she can't see me, relieved that she's forgotten about the papers on the table, and even more relieved that this little scenario didn't happen. While I don't think she ever would have wound up as Mrs. Four, the idea of him trying to keep everyone away from her would have been comical.

Luckily for me, she'd been mine since the day she arrived here. She still was. She would be, forever. I bend my fingers in, covering hers until they can slide between hers.

"I can only imagine the excitement you two would have had." I dryly retort.

She snorts in response, and I tighten my grip on her hand. Sure, it could have happened.

A lot of things could have happened.

It appears that now, the best thing for all of us is to focus on the ones that did happen.

"He said he misses you. Especially working with you." Everly throws out, and I knock my knee into hers.

"Oh, did he?" I mutter. I pull her back against my chest, enjoying the weight of her against me. "He just can't get enough of our lunches together. I get it. It's probably the most enjoyable time he's had in a while."

She giggles this time, and I press my nose into her hair.

"When you see him next, you can tell him…" I pause, and Everly waits patiently.

"Tell him what?"

"Tell him I said, fuck off Four."

She laughs again, but little does she know, I'm completely serious.

Rylan's text comes just as I climb into bed.

I read it quickly, scowling when I read that the girl in the boutique gave Everly a hard time about whose card she used. Rylan goes on, stating that even Christina thought it was rude, and I simply tell him thanks.

I glance over at Everly, already in bed and half asleep, and I decide I'll deal with this myself.

A day later, I follow through with my idea to burn the pages.

She accompanies me up to the rooftop with the stack of white papers clutched tightly in her hands. She'd looked surprised when I asked if she wanted to come with me, and I had been dead serious when I told her to burn them. Throwing them away wasn't enough, and neither was dumping them in the river. Shredding them. Giving them to Jason for his recycling program.

This was the only permanent option.

Sometime after the sun had set and the sky was clear, she and I had taken the stairs, ascending quickly, until the darkness burst into view. To my relief, the rooftop was empty and quiet, and this would give me the privacy I was hoping for. The last thing I wanted was someone wandering over, trying to catch a glimpse at what I was doing.

Everly followed me over to the large, empty bin that had been used to light a fire during the New Year's Party. I pick the biggest one with the most tinder remaining in it, and I hold out my hands at Everly.

"Are you ready?"

She nods her head, standing close to me. She's quiet while she hands me the first two pages; one is a cover sheet with the Erudite logo on it and the next is a list of all those who scored less than ten percent divergence.

Her name is on that one.

I light that page on fire first, then drop it into the bin. The flames are an immediate burst, hot and bright as it greedily sucks up the paper into nothingness.

"Here." Everly hands me a few more, stepping closer to me.

She and I were both dressed casually. Her leggings and jacket probably weren't warm enough for the chilly night, but the fire gave off enough heat that she wouldn't freeze. She watches carefully as the pages burn, and I nudge her arm.

"Your turn."

She looks up at me, the pages in her hands containing the plans to attack Amity, and she nods. She carefully tosses them in, smiling when the fire catches on the corners. The paper curls in, and the ink bleeds together, useless plans becoming truly useless. I feel marginally better at the sight of my past disintegrating before me.

"Did you ever think you'd do it?" Everly asks.

"Do what? Follow through with any of this?" I look over at her, and her face is lit up by the firelight. I hold her stare, unable to look away. "Yes." I nod my head. "I would have done what she asked. What I was assigned to do. What I believed was right. I wouldn't have had an option, either. If her plans had reached that point, I would have been expected to complete them. If not me, it would have fallen to someone else. If she stayed alive, this would have been what happened."

Everly tosses the last page in, thinking about my words. "But you stopped her. You were the one to end it all."

"I was." I answer, watching the thick stack of papers vanish before me. "But depending on how you look at it, I'm just as guilty as she was."

"Not anymore." Everly shakes her head, and I feel a sudden hot rush of affection for her. "You aren't…you haven't been that Eric ever. Not even when I met you."

Her words are picked up by a slow, lazy gust of wind. It carries a few embers into the air, not far, but just enough that they spark then die as they drift to the floor. I try to think if I was, or if the sudden appearance of one, tiny little Amity was truly the cause of such an upheaval in my life.

"Things are certainly different now." I raise my eyebrow at her, and she smiles back in response.

Sometimes, I think she knew.

I think she knew all along how I felt about her. She might have second guessed a few things, maybe how invested I truly was, or maybe if I'd really keep her safe. But I get the impression that Everly had never wavered in her own feelings for me, and she knew she was the reason my entire life had shifted.

I wonder if she feels it, this power she has, swirling all around her.

"I'm glad. I'd have hated to have married someone who would have told me what they were doing." Her smile is easy as she reaches for my hand. Her fingers automatically slide between my own, never satisfied unless my palm was pressed against hers. "Or you know, someone who wouldn't look out for me."

I reach for her.

I turn to face her, my free hand finding her face, and her skin is golden. She doesn't break her stare, nor does she do anything but stand there. I let my thumb trace over her cheekbone, before my fingers dip into her hair.

"I can't imagine I'd have liked that, either."

My answer is honest and clear.

I bend my head down, kissing her lips firmly. Hers are full and soft, warmed from burning my past.

I kiss her until the fire dies down. Until the air around us is cold, and until the only thing left to do is take her home.

Rylan and I head to the market in the morning.

I only agreed to go with him because it beat sitting at my desk, listening to Harrison talk about a show about dragons. He'd shown up early, really early, and hadn't stopped talking since he got here. I couldn't quite place what he was talking about, but he became rather enthused the longer he spoke, and when he started speaking with an odd, strange accent, I nearly punched him. I told him I'd see him later, to keep an out for Everly, and he nodded solemnly.

"Will do, for there must always be a Coulter in Dauntless."

His response was grave, as though he were implying that if something were to happen, Everly would be who the faction turned to to save them. I stared at him, he stared back, and I left with both my eyebrows raised.

They're still raised now, as Rylan holds up a large oil painting, of what appears to be someone's cat on a chaise lounge. Wearing a tuxedo.

"No." I announce, shaking my head furiously. Not only was it ugly and no one even had a cat for a pet, but I wasn't about to help him lug it back to Dauntless.

"It's art, Eric." Rylan retorts, returning his stare to the painting. "You'd think you'd recognize it when you see it, you uncultured swine."

"Oh, I see something alright." I comment, avoiding the disdainful glare from the seller. I leave Rylan standing there, contemplating such a prize, and I wander down the rows. For once, there is nothing I need here. I have enough furniture, enough clothes and boots, enough DVDs to last Everly a lifetime. Shelves of books. A couch. Another couch.

I do stop by where Stephan is. He waves from his spot, deep in discussion with someone from Candor over the value of some wooden shelf. I don't pay attention to that. I'm more focused on the same section where I found the wedding rings. They're gone, but in their place is a rack of necklaces.

I squint at them.

They've only caught my eye because they are expensive looking. They shine in the sunlight, and one in particular twirls to face me. I realize it's the letter E, in cursive, and it's very delicate looking.

"Eric! Hey!"

Stephan appears by my side, having finished talking with his customers. He stands next to me, pointing at the necklaces with great enthusiasm.

"You have a wife, right? Is she in the market for something like that?"

I turn to look at him, still surprised that he never seemed afraid to try to sell me something. I liked the wedding rings I'd bought, but that didn't mean I was dying to make another purchase. I bite back the urge to tell him I'm just killing time, but I do like the one with an E on it. In fact, I decide it would look better if it had both an E and a C. I could see Everly wearing that, and maybe only that.

Her and my initials.

"Do you have any more? I would need one with two letters." I throw out, figuring I might as well ask. I have nothing better to do.

Unfortunately, Stephan shakes his head no.

"I don't. They're all single letters. But," he pauses, and his face lights up. "Give me an hour. I can make it for you."

"You made them?" I raise my eyebrow, not entirely surprised. "Alright, I'll wait. If you can make it."

"I can." He looks delighted now, and he looks at his watch. "You'll love it. Head back in an hour. What letters do you want on there?"

I find myself smirking, imagining what this will look like on Everly. On one hand, it'll be her own name, but on the other, it's mine.

There's no doubt people won't miss that.

"I need an E and a C." I answer and he nods.

"I got ya, man."

With that, he's off. He disappears back into his display, and I disappear back to find Rylan. He waves furiously from a section of large, ornate carpets, and I close my eyes thinking of him trying to shove one into the truck.

An hour later, I find Stephan. He proudly shows me his work, and I have to admit, it exceeds what I expected. Sure, it's simply our initials, neatly intertwined. But it's both tiny and bold, just enough to grab your attention. Just like Everly.

I pay Stephan whatever price he asks, not really caring how much it costs. I figure just like no one has ever given Everly a wedding ring, no one has ever given her a necklace either. I gratefully accept the fancy packaging, find Rylan, and we head out.

Me, with a neatly wrapped up gift for Everly for our anniversary.

And Rylan, with an oversized painting that hinted he'd be single forever.

A day later, Harrison comes up with the brilliant idea that we should have a monthly factional meeting. I'd stared at him while he spoke, not entirely hating the idea, but not loving it, either. The numbers for our faction were huge, and often, our members worked on rotating schedules. Getting everyone together wouldn't be easy, but it would be a quick way to get the information out. He quickly countered all arguments that we could broadcast it to the members unable to attend, and it should be led by Max and me.

I'd stared at him, shrugging.

I had no issues making any announcements, but I did take great offense at being asked to do it on a Saturday.

"Really? On my day off?"

I'd dryly responded to him, watching him shrug right back at me.

"Evil does not take a day off, Eric. Therefore, neither should you." His response was immediate, and because of that declaration, a day later, I found myself standing high above the faction, looking out over our members with an air of utter annoyance. Gathering them together had been easy enough. A mass announcement had gone to their phones, followed by being broadcast all Friday. Now, they were all impatiently waiting, and I shared their impatience. I'd had to get up far earlier than planned, left my wife in bed, and headed out here. Dressed in my uniform, not at all enthused to be spending my Saturday working.

We'd met before to discuss just what should be said. It was hinted we meet again after, starting over the entire process of hunting Evelyn from a fresh perspective, with the focus on what Evelyn had already done. We'd scrapped the idea of utilizing Four, considering she was targeting him now, and were going with a more military based strategy. Harrison still wanted to drive her out of wherever she was, and that meant being smarter than her. Taking a step back from what we'd been doing, trying to see a new angle.

Reminding them that she had struck here, right in their own faction, right underneath our noses.

As much as I dislike the idea of using Everly as that reminder, I understand the necessity of it.

"Are you ready?"

I look up to find Max next to me, a smile stretched across his face. Despite the gravity of this situation, this was what Dauntless was for. Our main purpose. Our job was to protect our city. The factions. Those residing in them. We'd already eliminated one major threat, and compared to Jeanine, this felt minor. Like Evelyn would fall into our hands sooner rather than later if we just stayed one step ahead.

"I am."

I clasp my hands behind my back, watching The Pit fill up until there's nearly no standing space. Below me is a sea of black, with bright eyes glancing upward. Our members fill every single inch they can, pushing each other forward just to gain some space to breathe. I squint down at them, unconsciously trying to find Everly. I knew she would be down there, waiting for the announcements. As reluctant as she was to climb out of bed, these words were important for her to hear as well.

I just couldn't predict how she'd react to being singled out.

"Let's get started then." He looks at me and I nod. He waits a beat, looking out at the crowd before he yells over the noise. "Alright, listen up. We've got a lot to cover and not a lot of time."

Everyone immediately falls quiet. None of them want to be here any longer than they have to, and they seem to understand that the faster they listen, the faster they'll be dismissed.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that Evelyn is still at large. I want you all on high alert. We need to start behaving as though she's already attacked us, because she has. Everly was the first near casualty of Evelyn's grab for power, and we will not have another."

Max speaks loudly, but clearly. I give him credit where credit is due; his voice echoes in the large space, but everyone hears him.

Including those around Everly.

I immediately know where she is, because quite a few heads turn in her direction. Her name is important for a few reasons. There's a lore about her simply existing in Dauntless; coming here, training with me, and being married to me. Then, the flip side of her story. The part where she'd been kidnapped, moments after walking out with her own class, and carried off the compound while our soldiers watched. She'd survived, rising from the dead to return to our faction, and to those who didn't quite know her, she'd never missed a beat.

Even now she doesn't.

Her eyes are on both Max and I, wide and curious, but she's listening. Her gaze is purposely glued to him, missing the looks thrown her way while Max reads off our new security measures. He goes over them quickly, reassuring the faction that these new patrols he's created will have the sole job of finding Evelyn. Nothing more. Nothing less. He goes on to give a brief description of Evelyn along with what her factionless army might look like.

He concludes by announcing there has been no recent sighting of her.

There is silence.

The words, coming from him, spoken high above our members, seem sharp. Heavy. They are meant to drive home the point that our focus has shifted entirely to Evelyn, and it now involves every single member of this faction. It is real and concrete, a face to a villain they've only heard of, with some very personal consequences. I see a few more heads turn toward Everly, eyeing her up and down with both suspicion and guilt. Some of them know her. Some of them would have been in her class, would have trained alongside her, would have celebrated the rankings with her.

Some helped look for her.

Some did not.

Including, her best friend, right next to her.

Four, glancing down at her every so often. His look is nothing rude, simply concern mixed with a heavy dose of guilt, but it's there. As is the look on the girl's face next to her, sort of frowning in Everly's direction as though this were all for her.

I shove past Max.

I stop at the railing, my gaze raking over the members beneath me. Faces I knew. Faces I had known. Faces who'd dared to wonder what I was doing with Everly, and if the rumors had really been true. Faces who'd questioned my marriage, questioned Everly, questioned everything.

Faces that were now turned up to look at me, waiting to hear what I had to say.

"There's one final announcement," I pause, making sure they're all listening. Max waits patiently, and he steps just a bit closer, his hands finding the railing. "Today marks the one year anniversary of my marriage to Everly. Not only is Everly my wife," I stop, making everyone wait. Their stares are right on me, and so is Everly's. I find her green eyes looking up, widening when I speak. "She's going to be one of the leaders of this faction. You're to treat her with the utmost respect."

The entire room is silent once again.

It takes a second to sink in. My announcement comes as an obvious surprise to many. Some gazes drop to the ground, but most turn to find her. She blinks up at me, and I'm pleased at the number around her who look proud, impressed with what she's accomplished.

And those who look downright miserable at my words.

"You're dismissed. You can all go back to your business." I end my announcement quickly, and Max shakes his head.

"Congratulations on your anniversary Eric."

When I look over at him, barely able to hear him over the roar of the pit, he's smiling. A shit eating grin that tells me he fancies himself the one who orchestrated this entire thing, and he's not going to let me forget it.

"I knew I was right having you train her."

"You're right, this was entirely because of you." I roll my eyes, listening to the shrieks below us. "Or should I be thanking Four, for not wanting to train her."

Four.

He had managed not to grimace at the announcement of my anniversary, though I'm sure he was dying on the inside. I had what he didn't; a wife to come home to, one who never seemed to tire of seeing me.

"Maybe you should." Max smirks, and he gestures for us to head downstairs. "You're going to have quite a few who won't be good with the news. You know that, don't you?"

"I do."

I answer him easily, fully prepared for the backlash that could possibly occur. If anyone was smart enough, they'd use my announcement and take the hint to lose interest in what Everly and I were doing. I'd confirmed the only rumor they really cared about: was I really married to Everly. Now that they had their answer, and a direct command to respect her as both my wife and a future leader, we should have no further issues. It also solidified her place here. It gave her clout for being in my program, as well as being my wife.

Max and I head down the hallway together, and he smiles every single time someone looks my way. A few offer up very nervous congratulations, and a few look a bit depressed. Maybe they'd thought they had a chance with her, or maybe they'd thought she'd eventually wise up and move out of my apartment.

The joke was on them. I never had any intention of sharing her with anyone, not since the first night she fell asleep against me. But their stares are there, heavy and telling as we stalk past them.

I smirk at the shocked look on the faces of Karl's friends. A brown-haired kid who looks stunned, a few who shrink away from me. I smile even wider when I see Everly standing with Four, far away from the still lingering crowd. She looks at me, her expression still surprised, but also relieved.

"Nice speech. Very informative." Four announces, and he sounds all too smug considering I could still blame him for everything wrong in this world. Next to him, Everly elbows him sharply, but he smiles for some odd reason. Clearly moved by my speech about my wife, and clearly having something to learn from my marriage. "Congratulations on your anniversary. I'll see you guys later."

"Thanks for walking me out of there," Everly far too graciously bids him farewell, and he waves us all off. He doesn't look back once, he simply disappears into the crowd, presumably off to find Tris and make sure she knew what to look out for. I close the distance between Everly and myself, and I reach for her hand. My fingers slide through hers, tightening immediately.

"Are you ready to go home?" I ask her, and her cheeks darken the slightest. All around us, everyone is staring. The verbal confirmation of who she is was huge, bigger than she could imagine. Everyone was looking at her hand in mine, their minds filled with all kinds of new questions.

Questions they'd never know the answers to.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Everly nods, and her grip tightens on mine.

Next to us, Max grins, stepping right beside me.

"I'll walk with you. We can figure out who's covering the second and third patrols." He cheerfully joins us, and he never stops talking the entire walk home.

He doesn't stop talking once we arrive at my apartment either.

I can see the frustration on Everly's face plain as day. Whatever she had planned wasn't happening, though if I had to guess, it would probably be a million questions. Maybe a million questions while she sat on my lap, her fingers tugging at my jacket as she did her best to get me to tell her why I'd made such an announcement. Maybe something else that involved taking off my jacket and then some.

But there's no chance for that.

Max chooses a dining table chair and sinks down without being asked. He begins searching for something on his tablet, until the screen is filled up by a large map. I know the area he's focused on, one that the newer routes will pick up, and it will make Peter lose his mind that he's not overseeing this.

Everly watches him with a funny look on her face, and I smile at her. She looks very put out, and not at all interested in planning these routes. She does her best to hide it, slinking off to the kitchen to stare at the cabinets.

"We'll need someone to oversee sections three and four, mostly during the second and third shifts. Effective immediately." Max points at the map, and I'm half paying attention. I'm watching Everly stand in the kitchen, looking lost. I would bet anything she's hoping he'll leave soon. Because if he doesn't, that means we're spending all day with him.

"What about…you know who? Are you done punishing him yet?"

At Max's words, I Iazily look over at him, and I see where he's pointing. To the denser of the areas, one that will require someone more agile than Harrison to get through it.

"Sure." I answer him, and I look back toward the kitchen. "Everly."

Her head jerks in my direction, still undecided of what she was doing. It looks like she was about to rearrange my cabinets out of sheer boredom.

"Come look at this," I call out, gesturing for her to join us.

"Alright." She heads our way, reluctantly looking at the tablet I'd taken from Max. I'd changed it to a view of the woods, one with absolutely no trail or pathway. "Think Karl's had enough of the daycare center yet?"

Her face brightens considerably. "I'm sure he'd be happy to help you. He didn't mean to…"

"To give in to your threats?" I smirk at her, and she shoots me a dirty look.

"When are you going to tell him?" She ignores me, and I smile widely at her optimism.

"If I decide he's done, soon."

I leave Everly rearranging my glasses.

I kiss her goodbye, catching her sulky expression when she realizes I'm heading out with Max and I throw it right back at her. She's moved all the cups to the bottom shelf, where she can reach them. The urge to move them back to their original place is strong, mostly because I like reaching over her to get them for her.

I refrain. Instead, I promise her I'll be right back, and I hope I'm right.

I have a million things to cram into the next few hours, and not a lot of time. Max had stayed through lunch. He'd stayed through coffee. He'd made the decision that Karl had been punished enough, and this would be a fantastic opportunity for him to redeem himself. He even hinted that perhaps I'd see something in Karl, and I idly wondered why he was pushing for this forgiveness from me. I felt Karl's punishment was appropriate; he'd broken protocol to take Everly and Tris out of Dauntless, and while he'd admitted it, he'd also looked annoyed.

I understood.

But rules were rules, and he'd been stupid to think he was above them, no matter how persuasive Everly was.

I did agree that Karl had been serving his time without too much complaint. I'd seen him looking worse for the wear several times now, and it brought me great satisfaction that he wasn't loving life so much. Until I wound up behind him and some girl who worked there, walking out together. I'd followed a good distance behind them, not going out of my way to spy on them, but simply taking the same path. Every so often, her hand bumped his. And every so often, his hand bumped hers.

I'd narrowed my eyes in complete disgust.

Eventually, he took hold of her hand, and I realized he was either dating or fucking the girl. My and Jason's immediate research for no reason other than it gave us something to do beyond our normal work, told us her name was Charlotte. She was a few years older than him, and she seemed to enjoy working with the toddlers. And Karl.

He definitely seemed to enjoy her.

Which was fine. He'd moved on from staring at Everly, and I saw no point in leaving him to work in the daycare center if he actually enjoyed going there.

I think of this, when I bump into him at Christian's.

He smiles, more out of politeness than anything, silent as he leaves. I eye him in confusion, wondering why on Earth he was down here, and I can only come up with the idea that the children had destroyed his uniforms.

But something bothers me about his presence, and I can't quite place my finger on it. I can't quite place my finger on why Christian hurries my appointment either. He practically shoves the suit at me, telling me he's never made a mistake and the measurements are complete perfection, then pushes me out the door. I stand there with an odd look on my face, and I turn in surprise when I hear him lock the door behind me.

I return to my office, my arms full of the suit he's made, groaning when I find Harrison sitting there.

I return home ready to murder someone.

Harrison had sat in my office, wearing a tuxedo, waiting to tell me that he thought he knew where Evelyn was. I'd sighed, heavily, and sunk down into my office chair with zero enthusiasm.

"You don't." I shook my head. "If you did, you'd be out there, not in here. Besides, you said that last time, and she wasn't there."

"She was there. We just missed her. Maybe because you're not very subtle." He argued, and it took me a good hour to listen to him. He showed me security footage of a woman who sort of looked like Evelyn, but I wasn't entirely convinced. At this point, going out there would be a risk. I could send him after her, hell –he could go on his own and I couldn't stop him, but the woman on this video might end up being someone else. With every faction already edgy and uneasy, hunting down a random citizen wouldn't end with us looking very good.

Despite my logic on the situation, Harrison refused. I'd left him in my office, still arguing, still putting a team together. I went home in a shitty mood. I'd gotten nothing done, and I'd meant to finish up enough that I wouldn't need to return tomorrow.

To my utter irritation, I open my apartment door to the sound of girls giggling. I'm already irritable that I don't have a ton of time to get ready thanks to Harrison's ranting, but something tells me Everly already is. I take a few steps into the apartment, and I'm nearly knocked over by Tris and Christina rushing past me. Neither say hello and neither make eye contact. They are a blur of nervous energy and I'm happy to see them go. I head through my bedroom and into the bathroom, where I find Everly standing, staring at herself in the mirror with a horrified look on her face. Her hair looks crazy; like it's been tortured by a pack of wild hyenas, and she immediately waves her hand at me.

"I know, I know," She announces, trying to smooth it back into place. Her fingers are frantic as she pulls at the strands, undoing the work of her friends. "Christina put it in this braid and I made her take it out."

I watch her shove the hair back over her shoulder while she talks. My eyes fall to her neck, pale and exposed and naked.

"It's very poufy." I announce, and she freezes in place. The look on her face tells me she's exasperated, and I smirk at her.

"I'm well aware of that."

I step closer, until I'm standing behind her, and the stress of this afternoon melts away. Everly looks pretty, despite the fact that her hair is everywhere, fluffy and tangled and definitely not dinner ready. I press my chest up against her back, and I place my hands on either side of the sink, bending down until my lips touch her ear. She looks frantic at the thought of undoing what her friends have done, but I think I know how to remedy the situation.

"I'll help you flatten it." I tell her, my voice low. I linger for a moment before kissing right below her ear, inhaling how good she smells. She tilts her head to the side, and I get a rush of satisfaction when she leans back against me. "Do you know how to fix your hair yourself?"

Everly nods. My arm moves across her waist, pulling her back toward me. She fits there perfectly, and I decide for once, it won't matter if we're late.

"Good."

I pick her up easily, and its seconds later before I toss her onto the bed. Her hair is long forgotten as I hover over her, my fingers quickly undoing the button-down shirt she has on, and I decide maybe this night won't be so bad after all.

She fixes her hair while I get dressed.

It might have just been the lingering high of listening to Everly gasp my name, but I suddenly feel far better about this dinner than I had earlier. I couldn't pin point the sudden shift in my mood. Maybe it was that I'd caught a glimpse of her dress. I stood there staring, blinking in awe of what she looked like. Despite not being handmade by Christian and his team of mice, the dress far exceeded my expectations. It wasn't frilly or girlish, and it certainly wasn't pink. It was dark and fitted, lower cut than anything she'd ever worn, and far more revealing than what she typically chose. She didn't look like some girl from the farm, nor my initiate, and it was almost more scandalous than seeing her undressed.

I had a suspicion others would share that same feeling.

This left me very pleased. There was no doubt she'd catch a few stares this time around. She had the first time as well, but this would be different. Last time had been because of who she wasn't, this time, would be because of who she was.

I walk into the bathroom tightening the black tie around my neck, and I find her finishing her hair. It looks much better than before, even after having my hands in it. I watch her curl a few pieces while she looks at me through the mirror, smiling when I smirk at her.

"Do you need me to sign anything before we go?"

She's teasing me, her tone downright flirty, knowing full well she'd signed our marriage certificate last time. I watch her curl another piece of hair as I fix my collar, and the fabric is stiff. For some reason unbeknownst to me, Christian had made the suit more formal than I'd like. It left me feeling like I was getting dressed to attend a wedding, or some overly formal affair.

"Actually, yes." I reach for the comb next to her. I fix my hair quickly, hating the way it fell in my eyes even though it had just been cut. Everly watches in the mirror, her lips turning up.

"What did you do this time? Secretly sign me up to be trained as your personal assistant?"

"No need," I tease her right back. "If Karl doesn't work out on his patrol he can be my assistant."

She unwraps the last of her hair, rolling her eyes at my joke. "Funny." She sets the curling iron down, gives her hair a once over, then turns to me.

I find myself staring at her. Standing there, watching her, like I'd never seen her before. It's always unexpected, but when I look at her, there's a rush of everything that I couldn't figure out if I tried. I could try to pick apart the feelings, I suppose. A heavy dose of odd, never ending affection that never seemed to get vocalized as much as it should. Lust. Pride. A smugness that she was my wife and no one else's. A sense of hopeful optimism, not at all in my nature, but perhaps borrowed from her.

The pleasing realization that I'd been married to her for a year, and that in itself was an accomplishment.

Love.

But when I'm silent too long, she takes my stare as something else.

"What's wrong?" She looks up at me, noticing the change in my expression. I catch my own reflection, noticing I look thoughtful, but it's come across more serious than anything. I wait a beat, then decide I might as well help her finish getting ready.

"I got you something."

Her reaction is immediate. She grins and her face lights up in surprise.

I'd never wooed her by giving her obnoxious or lavish things. I could have. But that felt like cheating, buying her affection or showing her what my power here could do. Instead, our relationship had evolved in an entirely different way. I'd found what she liked or needed and feeling almost uneasy that I was giving her something she could possibly reject, that was what I gave her. It was completely out of my nature but each gift had felt right. Personal. Just between her and I.

Just like now.

I reach into my pocket, pulling out the black box that Stephan had put together, and I hand it to her.

"What is it?" She asks, reaching out slowly. She takes it from me, staring at the box before looking up at me.

I find myself rolling my eyes. She hasn't made a single move to see what's inside, and I'm not telling her.

"You could open it and find out."

She gives me a definite look in return, but she pries the lid off, then falls silent.

I watch her carefully, my insides dissolving because she'll either like it, or find it stupid that I gave it to her. Other than her wedding ring, I've never seen her wear any jewelry. I wonder if this was a mistake, maybe she'd find it rather presumptuous that I'd give her such a loud gift, or maybe she'd find it useless.

After what seems like ages, she picks it up gently, her fingers touching the letters. She eyes it for a long time, the heavy implication of both our initials intertwined together, meant for others to see, and I'm hit with the urge to leave. To bolt out of here, leaving her behind, and tell her I'll see her around. That this has been fun, but my one attempt to do something that one could maybe possibly sort of consider romantic had blown up in my face.

She finally looks up, and her smile is wide.

"I like it." Her expression is surprisingly sweet. "Where did you get it?" She pauses to take the necklace out of the box, then holds it out to me. "Will you help me put it on?"

I nod my head at her. She turns to face the mirror, and I move her hair off her neck before sliding the necklace on her. I have to admit it looks nice, and Stephan's work is definitely worth what I paid. It takes me a single second to clasp the necklace closed, and I let my fingers linger on her neck for a moment.

"I had it made." I announce, and my voice echoes in the bathroom. "It's fitting. It declares who you are, and that you are married to me."

I sound haughty with that last part, but it's unavoidable. She is married to me, and just like my announcement said, she should have the same respect. Maybe more. This necklace felt very appropriate given the timing, driving home the point one more time for those who didn't quite get it.

She examines the necklace in the mirror, bright against her skin, and she cocks her head at me. "Can I ask you something?"

I raise my eyebrow at her, wondering what on Earth she could possibly want to know. Everly's questions were never easy. They were always things like, did you sleep with her in your bed, or did you love her? What's your middle name? How do you like your eggs?

Shit I never wanted to answer, because it felt like admitting the worst parts of me. But my silence never had a great effect. It only spurred on her questions, making her wonder if I preferred her over anyone else.

I did.

I always had.

"I suppose." I respond, meaning to sound casual and unbothered.

She turns back around to look at me, and I step forward to close the distance. My hands move without thinking; I reach for her, pushing her until she's right up against me, and my other hand finds her hip. Everly tilts her head up to look at me, and she's as close as can possibly be.

"Why did you make that announcement today?"

Her question is not unexpected. Announcing to the faction that she was my wife was for her own benefit, but also purely selfish. It was a public claim that she loved me and only me, and for everyone else to fuck off if they thought they'd ever get close to her.

Admitting this out loud is a little more complicated. This wasn't something I was experienced in, especially when it came to what I felt for her.

But she deserves to know.

I look down at her, having been lost in the agony of what exactly I should say.

"Because. You deserve to be acknowledged and respected." My fingers tighten on her. I pull her impossibly closer, wanting her right against me. "Because I don't show you enough how much you mean to me."

Her reaction is telling; her eyes widen and her lips part open. It's obvious she's surprised, and I suddenly wonder if she was expecting something else. Maybe that I'd done it out of a security concern, or that this way, no one could ask her any more stupid questions about if she was really married to me.

"The other day you came after me and said it was because you wanted to save me. It was a stupid thing to do. But no one else has ever given a shit about whether I made it back to Dauntless or not. I made the choice to marry you and I don't regret it. I never asked what you thought about it, but I'm sure now that you have chosen me, too. I lost you once to Evelyn and then to the memory serum. I've gotten you back, and I don't ever want to lose you again." I touch her cheek, remembering the shittiest time of my life, and hoping she realizes I mean every word I'm saying. I've never admitted to anyone that I felt anything, let alone to this degree. Her eyes shut at my touch, and she leans forward. She opens them after a moment, her gaze as warm as ever.

She looks beautiful.

Absolutely no different than the first day I met her, but also entirely different.

"I've also heard that some of the people were giving you a hard time. So, I want those assholes and everyone else to know you are my wife. You deserve to be treated with appropriate respect. No one should ever question your status again, and if they do, they'll deal with me."

The look on Everly's face is one I haven't seen before. It's a mix of gratitude, of love and desperation and wild appreciation, of disbelief. I idly wonder if no one has ever stood up for her before. If in Amity, she was simply another member, easy to brush off, easy to forget about in the swarm of jewel tones. Easy for Landon to tell to be quiet, giving in to others just to keep the peace. But not here. She was more than just another soldier for our battles. More than just an initiate. More than just someone I came home to at night, using to pass my nights with.

She was my Everly, she always had been.

Only now, everyone knew.

"I love you."

She blurts the words out right before her lips crash against mine. This kiss is different. It's not simply her kissing me, trying to trick me into answering her questions or just because she missed me. It's one that tells me this was what she needed to hear, and it was long overdue.

It's one that hints she'd happily head back to my bed, but as appealing as that idea is, we don't have time right now.

I break away from her with great reluctance, and she lets out a small whine of protest. Her hands are on me, now clutching onto my shirt, hinting that she has other plans. But if we don't head out of here soon, our late arrival will be far more noticeable than we could get away with.

"Later," I promise, and her head drops forward. Not in defeat, but in protest of leaving here when the idea of staying in is much better. I reach one hand up to cup the back of her head, careful not to ruin her hard work fixing her hair.

"And don't forget to sign the papers on the counter. Don't ask any questions, either."

She snorts against my chest, amused that once again, she would be signing something she had no clue about.

"Fine," she agrees. "But you'll have to explain yourself later."

I find myself smiling at her, really smiling, until she lifts her head up and announces we should head out.

My phone rings a dozen times before we even leave the apartment.

The text messages roll in right along with the calls, all asking if I'm on my way. I'm immediately both irritated and suspicious. Irritated that Rylan and Jason felt the need to call so many times, and suspicious that this dinner was already off to a terrible start. I impatiently answer Rylan in all capital letters –writing WE'RE ON OUR FUCKING WAY and shove my phone in my pocket before he can respond.

It rings again.

I groan inwardly, wondering if I could call Max and change my RSVP to unable to attend. Right as I decide that might be the best decision, Everly appears, completely ready to go. Her shoes are just as fancy as her dress, and her hair is shiny and full. While I would have no issue with staying home, she looks excited, and I grudgingly head to the door.

We walk through Dauntless at a gratingly slow pace; her shoes far higher than what she normally wore, resulting in her walking far slower. She links her arm through mine, and together we head past the conference rooms, down the long hallway. She looks at me a few times, both confused about where we are going and slightly hesitant. She's never been this way, but we rarely ventured down here. Even now, the hallway is deserted, and were someone to wind up lost over here, they'd have no clue that not far from here, lie a ballroom.

"Almost there," I announce, sulking that this was my last chance to turn around. I'd already ruined her hair once and heading home and ruining it once more wasn't a bad plan. But before I can, we come to a stop in front of two oversized, heavy doors. They are made of a dark wood, tall and impressive, with ornate carvings etched into them.

"Where are we?" Everly asks, right as I reach for the handle. It's cold, and I pause to look at her.

"Every faction is expected to take a turn hosting the Annual Leadership Dinner. They all have a room set aside for the event." I raise my eyebrows at her, hoping she catches my dismissal at the idea that we'd have to put this event on. "On rare occasions, it's also used to host other types of dinners or meetings that are held privately, away from the rest of the faction."

"I've never seen one in Amity," She lingers next to me, staring at the door. The Dauntless logo is there, nearly as tall as she is, engraved deeply within the wood.

I shrug my shoulders, having never actually attended the dinner in Amity. I'd been invited, once. But I'd declined, claiming I had the flu. "You would have had no reason to attend." I push the heavy door open, deciding we might as well head in. "Now you do."

The door opens with some effort on my part. Everly throws me a bright smile, then reaches for my arm to drag me through. Of course, she'd be excited to attend such an event, especially being held here. I follow her in, and I nearly crash into her when she comes to an abrupt halt.

Our last Leadership Dinner had been held in Erudite, in a room meant for hosting gatherings. Our room in Dauntless wasn't anything like that. It was deep within the compound, but toward the upper levels. I'd been in here a few times, and it always looked the same. Dark décor, dark lighting, and a bored waitstaff plucked from the kitchens.

It looks the same today.

I supposed it might look appealing to Everly. Her eyes rake over the high ceiling, giving way to an open air section revealing the night sky. I supposed she'd like the warm lighting, the twinkling lights that look like someone finally wiped them down. The dark stone, giving it a very cave like feel, and the gathering of tables, with fancier linens than I was used to seeing.

Or she's frozen in place because in front of us, is everyone we know.

I find myself freezing beside her, eyes narrowing in pure and utter horror.

Everyone.

Waiting.

Looking right at us.

Max. Tori. Karl, standing next to Everly's friends from Amity who look positively love struck. Jason and Rylan, both dressed up except for their shoes. Harrison, wearing the tuxedo he'd had on all day. Everly's mother. Johanna. Andrew fucking Prior. Christina, looking like she could keel over with excitement. Cara, having been told only hours ago that she'd been awarded the position as Leader of Erudite. Arlene, grinning so widely that I know she had a hand in this. Jack Kang, surrounded by a dozen assistants, beaming at me as though this was his idea.

Daniel.

Blythe.

My gaze falls to them, the horror rising up in my throat as I realize there is no way out. Rylan catches my eye, waving from where he stands, and the room seems to close in on me.

"What the fuck!?" The words are out of my mouth immediately. They're snarled at no one, only Everly, since she's right next to me. My fingers dig into her side, and she looks up at me.

I shake my head to tell her that honestly, I had no clue what was going on. It was obvious this was for us, but I had fully been expecting to attend a dinner for the leader. Not whatever this was.

It's all the worse when I catch Daniel's stare. He's standing by Cara, but also a few others from Erudite. Next to him, Blythe looks oddly subdued.

But Daniel, he's another story.

He smiles at me, my hand digging into the side of Everly's fancy dress, and he looks absolutely and positively downright proud.