"Ready?" Yohji rose from the couch and took Aya's coat "Let me help you" he maneuvered Aya's arms into the sleeves and fought with the zipper "I think I do it myself" Aya smirked and laid his hands on top of Yohji's.

"Yeah" he was proud how easily his lover managed to zip up his coat "You got used to it" he stated.

"I had a lot of time to get used to a lot of things" Aya turned up his collar "Let's go"

Yohji slipped into his coat and followed "I thought we can go to the little lake, it's almost dark and the moon shines brightly"

"Sounds nice" Aya took Yohji's hand "I can see the tiniest bit of my condensed breath when we pass a lamp" he beamed like a little kid in a candy shop "and soon … I'll see these incredible emerald eyes of yours"

"There are more beautiful things to see" Yohji squeezed his hand "Nope" Aya answered confident "I'll look into your eyes at first then I'll watch the moon, the flowers in the shop oh and not forgetting your murderous drop-dead smile"

"Murderous, uh-hu" the blond smirked and pulled his lover closer "I should be careful not to kill you off"

"Not your style" memories shot through his mind and he shook his head to clear his mind.

"Are you alright?" Yohji was concerned "Yeah" the blond didn't believe him, his smile was a fake and didn't reach his eyes and he had a hunted look in his eyes.

"Don't lie to me" Yohji pulled him closer, they walked close side by side "You are not alright"

Aya started to chuckle, after the first shock of the flood of emotions dies down he decided, it was funny, yet. The irony of life was always legendary; he always knew he chose a hot blooded lover and he knew it would be dangerous to engage himself in a relationship with him, not because his lover was the only dangerous one. He wasn't easy himself and their job was everything else than rosy, no he knew he got hit one day and he knew he would hit him in return but what he never included in his calculations was the possibility to die by his lovers hands. His life seeping through his lovers fingers, without a chance of mercy, till the point of no return.

"I never thought you'll be the one who takes my life"

Yohji understood but did not know what to say except for "That's not funny"

"I still think it's kind of funny" Aya smiled at him "I know I'm nerve-wrecking and I deserve a blow from time to time but I didn't thought I'll drive you so mad that you throw me out"

He wiggled his brows and Yohji started to laugh "It is kinda comical, when you ignore the fact that I almost killed you"

"I'm not dead and it wasn't really you so we can live without guilt" ~ you can live without guilt~

"I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life but the feeling will fade and I'm able to live with the blame" it wasn't easy to find convincing arguments, Aya sighed.

"You're so not cooperative. What do I have to do, to convince you?"

"You want me to feel nothing?" the blond frowned.

"I don't want you to eliminate your feelings but blaming yourself can't be healthy" Aya stated.

"I know that but I think it's bearable. I don't feel as bad as one or two months ago"

"I'm relieved" the redhead beamed "I was afraid I would break you one day"

"No" Yohji said in a singsong voice "You're the glue which keeps me in one piece"

"You're a dire as a poet" Aya laughed "That was bad"

"Hey, you're the genius" the blond stopped "Here we are"

"The moon looks beautiful but that's almost everything I'm able to see" Aya scratched his forehead "it's slightly frustrating"

"You'll see soon enough, let me pamper you a bit more" Yohji ruffled the red mop of hair.

"You'll stop pampering me" the redhead pouted "You're so mean"

Yohji's eyebrows rose and he started to chuckle "Ohh, little one "he pinched Aya's cheek "I'll care for you until we're old, weedy and grey" he cupped Aya's face "And after wings have grown to us" he kissed his lover lovingly.

"That wasn't bad at all" Aya beamed, his heart felt warm and fluttered, pleasantly.

"Undiscovered talents" the blond smiled fondly.

"Do you have more talents you hide from me?" Aya leaned in to the touch.

"Maybe" Aya heard the amusement in his voice and grinned "You're a dirty, dirty man Mr. Kudoh"

"What?" the blond asked as innocent as possible.

"Don't think I can't imagine the naughty look in your eyes, Mr. little innocent"

"You're so creepy" he hung his head "How do you do this foreseeing thing?"

Aya smirked "That's easy, you need time, the power of observation and a easily comprehensible lover"

"That's all?" Yohji didn't know he was so transparent, what else could he see?

"Yep" Aya took Yohji's hand; he noticed the change in his mood "Can we walk around the lake?"

Yohji was grateful for the change of topic "Yeah"

They walked for two hours before they decided to end their little date.

"How transparent am I?" he couldn't drop the matter, it was too important to ignore.

"Don't worry I can't read your mind or something" Aya couldn't understand why it was so important.

"I have thoughts about the job and us, and I'm afraid you can see some of them"

"What do you think about?" Aya pushed the matter, he was afraid Yohji could stop talking.

"Do I really want to do my job? Do you need me after your eyes healed? Do I want to fuss over you even though you're well? Things like that" honesty is the best policy.

"Am I a burden? Please, be honest" Aya was scared.

Yohji thought about it and took a deep breath "Sometimes… yes"

Aya's heart stopped, he had problems to breath. He needed a few deep breaths to stop himself from hyperventilating "I'll work on it" he answered.

"No" Yohji stopped and led him to a bench "I don't feel like this very often. It's only … sometimes I need time for me but I have the feeling I have no right to…"

"Did I give you a reason to neglect yourself? Do I occupy all your time?" he looked nervous.

"I work and I take care of you, that's all I do" he sighed and put an arm around his stiff lover and pulled him closer "I lost my balance. It is not your fault. I had the need to care for you because I caused your misery and I got used to it. After our lovely doc kidnapped you for a while, I had time for myself and I realized how much I missed it"

~ I knew it.

He got tired of me.

I have to be more independent. I thought I was independent enough but it looks like I made a mistake.

I should work in the flower shop, take a few solo missions if necessary and I let him go out.

I hope it will be enough… ~

"Aya? Are you here with me?" Yohji tightened his grip around his lover.

"What do we do?" Aya asked with watery eyes, he tried hard to keep his expression neutral.

"Nothing" Yohji replied, Aya looked curious "What do you mean?"

"I go out from time to time or read a book in the living room, that's enough, really" it was all he wanted, he didn't want to live separate lives or stay away from him for days. Everything he wanted was an hour or even an evening.

Aya leaned against Yohji shoulder and hid a sob. Yohji held Ayas head against his neck and rested his chin on top of the red mop of hair "Hush" he whispered sweet nothings "I love you and nothing will ever change the fact that you're my all and everything"

"Love you" Aya whispered and slung his arms around his lover "Don't leave me" he said barely audible.

"Never love, never" Yohji vowed serious and started to sing, too low for other people to hear. It was for Aya, only for him "… I swear. By the moon and stars in the sky. I'll be there… Like the shadow that's by your side. I'll be there. For better or worse till death do us part.

I'll love you with every beat of my heart. I swear……" ( Not mine, what surprise. John Michael Montgomery owns the version of the song)

He felt Aya relax while he rubbed his upper arm. Aya chuckled slightly as Yohji missed a tone but he had to admit his lover had a great voice.