So Janie's disappeared again... I do so like shoving that poor girl aside. A few more quietish chapters after the drama of the last few now. I'm into writing chapter 48 now so I'm quite happy. Coursework will not defeat this story, I refuse to let it.

Erm, anyone any clues on the story I described at the beginning of the last chapter? I'm guessing not but just a quick check.

Sitting in the Tylers' living room at five in the morning reminded Gwen of when her granddad had died. She'd only been sixteen and she remembered sitting up all night. Rooms felt strange at this hour of the morning, unfamiliar and unsettling. The house was lively but almost silent. She knew everyone else was still awake, gone to their various places to hide and come to terms with what had happened. She felt a sudden yearning for Rhys; she'd never wanted a hug or kiss more than right now. She looked around at her companions. Tosh was curled up in an armchair, picking her fingernails, whilst Jack was doing what he did best, brooding and staring out the window across the dawn-light lawn. The living room door opened.

Owen came in, his right shoulder strapped up and a look of intense exhaustion and agony on his face. He sat down heavily in a chair.

"She's asleep," he said of Rose, in his usual blunt manner. "I gave her something to help her sleep."

"Is that a good idea?" Tosh asked.

"At least if she's asleep she isn't thinking about it," Owen pointed out. He winced as he moved his arm slightly.

"You should go to the hospital, Owen," Gwen remarked.

"I'm a doctor, I can self-diagnose. It's self-prescribing they frown upon."

"Doesn't usually stop you though, does it?" Gwen replied.

Owen managed a weary smile. "No, not exactly. I'm making a bit of habit of this though, aren't I?" When no one answered his joke he sighed. "I might try and catch some sleep if that's alright?" He raised his eyebrows in Jack's direction. When their leader didn't reply, he prompted him. "Jack?"

"What?" Jack glanced round, his voice distant. "Oh, yeah, sure. Take as long as you want."

Owen nodded. "Thank you would be nice," he muttered, but didn't wait for Jack's response, before nodding goodnight to the two women and leaving the room.

Tosh shifted uneasily. "I'm going to go to bed too, I think." She nodded nervously. "Yeah. I'll see you… well, in the morning." She laughed gingerly before leaving the room.

Gwen glanced over at Jack as the door shut softly behind their colleague. Since they'd left the park, he'd barely said a word. Not that it had exactly been a journey full of laughter and jokes, but he'd not even given any orders or anything. He'd half-carried Rose upstairs and then left her to Owen's capable hands, after she'd stopped convulsing with silent sobs. Jon had walked like a sleep-walker up to his room and closed the door firmly behind him, leaving no one in any doubt as to his feelings on visitors at the moment. The Doctor had refused to even come in the house, preferring instead to wander off, hands in his overcoat pockets, a haunted expression on his face. He needed time, Gwen knew that, but she did feel he could have stayed with Rose a bit longer. It had been left to Gwen to explain the situation to Pete and Jackie, as Owen busied himself with cleaning his own wound and trying to calm Rose down. Part of Gwen felt angry at them all that she'd been left in that position, and yet she knew there was no other option. Rose couldn't form a coherent syllable let alone a sentence.

Leaving her seat now, she moved to stand next to Jack at the window, looking out. It was going to be a beautiful day again, sunny and bright. Not that it made much difference to the mood of the house. Again, Gwen felt the pull of home. She wished she could tell Rhys half of what had happened, but he'd never understand, and she couldn't expect him to.

"It's going to be a nice day."

Jack didn't reply, and she didn't blame him. But she didn't know what else to say. She had no idea what was going on in his head, he never shared much with her. If she could just tap into his brain, work out what he was thinking, what he was feeling… life would be so much easier. But then she supposed that was the same for most people.

As she studied his face, she was struck again by just how handsome he was, with his chiseled jawline and those back-shiveringly blue eyes. And she also noted how much pain was etched into his face, more so than ever before. It was like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"It wasn't your fault."

He started when she spoke again, and looked. He didn't say anything, but at least she'd gained a response of some kind.

"Tonight. What happened. It wasn't your fault."

Jack let out a long breath. "I should have done something more. I should have-"

"Jack, you did everything you could. No one could have asked for more.

"But maybe if I'd-"

"Jack!" Gwen surprised herself with the sharpness of her voice. "Jack," she continued much more softly and coaxingly. "Sweetheart, this wasn't your fault."

He looked down at her again and she saw those blue eyes fill with tears. He looked at her like her nephew did, when he was scared and frightened and lonely over something. Looking for reassurance and kind words and, most of all, a hug.

"Oh Jack!" Gwen pulled him towards her, forgetting who he was. Captain Jack Harkness, her boss, the one they all looked up to, and she was hugging him like he was her sister's little boy. He didn't seem to be complaining though, as his body almost collapsed into hers, that great strength he always had disappearing as he buried his head in her shoulder. Gwen stroked his hair gently, making soothing noises into his ear. For a few moments they stood like that, before Jack lifted his head. She met his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes that had struck her the second she'd laid her own dark brown ones on him. Gently, he leaned down without saying a word and kissed her lightly on the lips. Gwen gave into it for a split second before pulling away.

"Jack…" she said, her voice no louder than a whisper, as she tried to remember exactly why this couldn't happen. She looked into his eyes again, and all thoughts like that were completely erased. She could see in his face the same pain and confusion that had been coursing through her veins since the day she'd first heard the word 'Torchwood'. Only times a million. Jack had no one, no one to talk to, no one to share any of who he was or what he did with. No one to give him a hug when he felt down, no one just to reach out and squeeze his hand. Why couldn't this happen? Gwen gave up fighting.