Arriving back on the Normandy, Shepard had Vega show Garrus and the Primarch to the War Room while she took care of the necessary responsibilities on the ship. Talking to Joker, she had him negotiate his way, cloaked, past the Reapers to the Mass Relay and start toward the Citadel.

"Twenty two hours to the Citadel, Commander…" for once, Joker was serious as he continued to battle with intermittent system issues. Then Shepard was then called to a quantum entanglement meeting with the Asari Representative from the Council. Upon informing them that she, upon the turian's request, would be seeking krogan input, the asari had some bad news for her. There was bad blood between the salarian and krogan people, and the salarians objected to having the krogan included in any summit. The asari had made the decision that the summit was not going to be successful and they refused to participate.

Immediately after that communication ended, Hackett was on the line, and Shepard told him she'd gotten the Primarch, but the asari refused to participate. Never one for hysterics, Hackett reaffirmed that unity was necessary at this point, and the asari would regret the decision.

Hackett told her a bit more about the attack on Earth, how the Reapers had slipped up on them. Then the discussion turned to the help that she'd managed to acquire, and Hackett ordered her to keep him posted, and then ended the communication.

Shepard turned and hurried into the War Room, thinking Garrus would be there, but to her surprise, the Primarch was all alone. She walked up to him and he thanked her for the use of her ship. They spoke for a few minutes on the situation and she let him know the Asaris' decision. He acknowledged that there might been too much bad blood between the krogan and the rest of the species but affirmed that their help was necessary. After a few minutes, Shepard cleared her throat and hesitantly, she asked, "Do you know where Garrus went?"

The Primarch observed her in silence for a few minutes, seeming to weigh something in his mind then said, "Garrus said something about needing to finish some calibrations…."

Shepard smiled; it was just so like Garrus, she could even hear him saying it in his flangy voice. She realized that she was sighing like a love sick cow and that the Primarch was watching her. Forcing her attention back to reality, she bid him goodbye and went to find her mate. She wasn't sure what the hell was going on, but she was sure going to find out. They'd come too far to let something stupid mess with them now. Thinking that Garrus had probably gone to their quarters, she hurried to the elevator and rode it to the loft.

She stopped just outside her door and tried to make herself presentable; straightening her tunic, patting her hair, then strode in the door to find… nothing. She looked around; expecting to at least see Garrus' bag, but the room was exactly as she'd left it that morning. She glanced in the bathroom; empty. She went to the nest, and glanced over the edge; empty. Then she went to the closet, thinking he might have hung his things up, but the only things of Garrus in the closet were the ship clothes he'd left there. Shepard tapped her finger on her tooth and sighed, turning, she asked, "Edi… where is Garrus?"

"Gen… Officer Vakarian is in the Main Battery, Commander"

Shepard noticed the hesitation, but figured it was something to do with the issues on board the ship. She shook her head and headed toward the elevator. She really should shower and get ready, but damn it, finding her mate was FAR more important.

CHAPTER BREAK

Arriving at the Normandy, it did not skip Garrus' attention that Shepard ordered the new kid, Vega, to show he and the Primarch the new war room, keeping the Drell with her. It was all he could do to not keen, but he forced himself to remain professional. He'd made his mind up… even if it killed him, and it might as bad as it hurt, he was going to be on Shepard's six, even if their relationship was over. He and the Primarch were engaged in a heated discussion when Shepard walked past them into the communication room, so he hadn't noticed her.

"I need to check out the weapon systems… they're most likely in need of some calibrations…" Garrus finally said, looking away.

The Primarch observed him, considering, then said, "Of course… I'll speak with you soon…."

Garrus wanted to badly to go find his mate… even it if meant hearing the "we can't see each other anymore" speech, but in the end, he was a coward. So he grabbed his bag and headed toward the one place he knew to be a safe haven; the main battery.

"General Vakarian…" Edi began, but Garrus spun around to speak to the hologram just inside the door to the Main Battery,

"Edi… do NOT use my rank… nor tell Shepard anything about it. If I want her to know, I'll tell her myself."

There was a long moment when Edi seemed almost frozen, then said "Very well, Officer Vakarian… I will not, however, lie to the Commander. IF she asks me, I will be forced to tell her…."

Garrus sighed, that was fair. And he imagined at some point his very curious and inquisitive mate would certainly ask. But, at least now, he had some time to figure everything out. He busied himself with the main guns, tossing his bag into the corner. He wasn't sure what his sleeping arrangements would be, and he thought longingly of his nest, but the image of his mate and the Drell in there made him physically ill. Growling, he threw himself into the calibrations, at least that hadn't changed.

CHAPTER BREAK

Shepard was heading for the Main Battery, when there was a power outage and everything just went off line. Before she could contact Joker, he contacted her; something was happening with Edi… she'd just gone offline and Shepard cursed as she changed her direction to go to the AI core. At the core, she found two crew members with fire extinguishers. Hearing a strange sound she asked,

"What's that noise, Joker?"

Joker replied, "Fire extinguishers, Commander… could be an electrical fire… or something."

The crewmen gave her the all clear, and she announced, "I'm going in…" the doors opened and one of the crewmen sprayed a coating of extinguisher, before she walked in calling, "Edi? Talk to me…" then nearly went into a crouch as the air scrubbers began to pull the smoke from the room. Up the middle of the room walked the synthetic body of Dr. Eva and Shepard went for the gun she wasn't carrying. But, the mech spoke in Edi's voice,

"Is there a particular topic you wish to discuss, Shepard?" one of the crewmen pulled a gun on her, but Shepard ordered him to back off and said incredulous,

"Edi? You're in doctor Eva's body…" mentally smacking herself; 'hello Commander Obvious', as Jack would say, but Edi answered the question calmly anyway,

"Not all of me… but I have control of it. It was not a… seamless transition…."

"You blacked out on us there, for a while…" Shepard winced, her voice sounded whiney, which she hated, but Edi explained that when she was mining the body for information, she'd triggered a trap and been forced to do battle to overcome it. Edi also suggested that the unit would allow her to be much more helpful on missions that were off the ship. That thought, for some reason, made Shepard nervous, but she just said, "First you run diagnostics… make sure there aren't any more surprises…." To her surprise, Edi did so… immediately. Feeling pressed for time, Shepard tried for non-committal about taking Edi's shiny new body off ship… and Edi agreed, saying that her first priority was repairing the systems damaged in the melee.

With a frown, Shepard told her, "Just don't be surprised if the crew is a little… weary of your new body. It was just shooting at them a while ago."

"An excellent point, I will take it to the bridge… Joker will want to see it."

Shepard smirked, looking at the sexy, curvaceous mech and said, as Edi walked out, "On that, we can agree."

Finally free to go after her own life, Shepard headed to the Main battery.

CHAPTER BREAK

When she walked in the Main battery, Garrus was, as usual, calibrating. But, he was also speaking to the Primarch. They spoke of casualty reports and Garrus told him he was getting the same ones. Then Garrus told Victus that Shepard was an old friend of Wrex and that if anyone could pull it off, it was her. As his conversation ended, Shepard felt self-conscious, so instead of throwing the turian to the ground and riding him into submission she said, quietly, trying to keep the pain from her voice,

"Garrus… didn't waste any time getting back to work, I see."

Garrus forced a light reply, "After what I've been through lately, calibrating a giant gun is a vacation. Gives me something to focus on."

Shepard tried for subtlety, "We're going to need you for more than your aim…."

Garrus hesitated he didn't want to read the situation wrong, or say the wrong thing, so he said, "Oh I'm ready for it… but I'm pretty sure we'll need giantt guns… and lots of them."

Shepard frowned, "I Can't argue with that. I… expected you to put your things in our cabin…."

Garrus fluttered his mandibles, and then held them tight. Perhaps she hadn't taken the Drell to their nest… but she HAD gone for him first that had to mean something, right? Carefully, trying not to jump to conclusions though his gizzard clenched with hopeful fear. Keep it light, he told himself firmly, and for Spirits sake don't mention the Drell…. "Yea So… is this the part where we… shake hands? I wasn't sure on the protocol reunions… I'd hoped… I mean…." Hopeful blue eyes watched Shepard and saw her relax just a bit. "The scars are… starting to fade. I remember how they drove you wild… but I can go out and get all new ones if you…."

Subtlety was lost on her mate, she knew that. So she just stepped forward in his arms FINALLY! and kissed him, raising her hands around his cowl, she clung to him, letting the tears fall, and pushing her body as tightly to him as she could. She tried to pour every second of their time apart, ever tear, every terror and separation pain into that kiss. And she drew from him every one of his pain filled minutes apart from her, every keen, and every thought of her apart from him. She pressed herself against him and felt her Stone, in the inner pocket vibrate and move toward him. Garrus felt his stone doing the same and reached into his armor to remove it. Shepard did the same and the two stones gave a "clank" as they attached themselves as Shepard continued to press her body against Garrus.

Breaking the kiss, Shepard looked at their Stones, vivid, cobalt blue then at Garrus and said,
"Whatever it is that happened, whatever you're feeling above this… you're my mate and I'll move heaven, Earth and everything in between to get back to your side. I love you Garrus… I get that you might have changed your mind…."

"WHAT!" Garrus sounded so shocked, so… irritated at that comment that she stopped, frowning. Garrus glared at her, his mandibles alternating between flicking and flattening then said, "Shepard… Lia… turians can't change their minds about being bondmated… I figured out it doesn't work the same way for humans… that while you love me, you don't have the connection with me I do with you… I know you love me, PLEASE give me another chance… I… I won't be selfish, I swear. I just need to have you with me… once in a while…."

Now it was Shepard's time to glare "Garrus, you're not making sense…. Ok, that's it. This stops. I will NOT let this inter-species THING kill what we have. I can't promise we'll have the forever I want with you… but we're not going to let some bullshit come between us…. Let's go up to our quarters and talk this out…."

Garrus frowned, he didn't want to scent her with another male, but he couldn't argue with her. Mandibles tight to his face, he nodded, "Let's go…." As they made their way out of the battery, Shepard pointed to his bag and said, "Grab that…."

He hesitated, he didn't want the crew to see him carrying it to her quarters and back down again. IN the end, she wouldn't take no for answer and with a muttered oath, he grabbed his bag and followed her to the elevator.

CHAPTER BREAK

The door opened into the quarters they'd shared and Garrus took an experimental sniff but sensed no other male. Heaving a sigh of relief, he acknowledged he might have read the signs wrong, so he dropped his bag off near the closet and turned to her, surprised she was already beginning to un-do the seals on his hard suit. He sighed and helped her until he was down to his under suit. She then went to work on that with a single minded objective that would have made him smile if this wasn't life or death. Carefully he wrapped his taloned hands around her wrists and stilled her actions, looking down at her, he saw the flash of pain, hurt and despair as she asked,
"You don't want me to touch you?"

He looked at her in shock, then said, "Spirits yes, I want you to touch me…" she looked pointedly at his hands holding her wrists, and he continued, "But we need to talk first."

He saw the tears then, and was totally confused, and when she spoke, he was shocked into silence, "I get it, Garrus… you had to blow off steam. It…" she sighed "I… I won't say it doesn't matter, because it does… it fucking kills me. But I get it. I knew it was going to be an issue, and if you're not too attached to her, if you're ok with just me, I can… let it go…."

"WHAT THE HELL, SHEPARD! I told you that wasn't going to happen. For Spirits sake… where did that come from?"

Shepard shrugged, she'd stripped her pride from herself, and she had none left now. She'd weighed her love for her mate against her pride and found that keeping her mate, even if she had to share him, was more important to her than pride… than knowing she was enough for him. She'd always thought she wouldn't be… that eventually he'd need a turian female. But the way he was acting was confusing the fuck out of her.

"Look, Garrus… I get it. I was confused at first, the way you acted on the planet… and on the shuttle. But I get it now. You don't want your friends… your comrades to know about me. I get it… I'm human, and that must be embarrassing for you… and we were apart for a long time. At first when you acted like you did, I thought maybe you'd changed your mind. But in the Main Battery, you pretty much said you were still bonded to me, so whoever she was, she isn't your Bondmate, I am" no small amount of pride in those words, "So I figured it out… you had to blow off steam and now you're not sure how I'll react."

Garrus was staring at her in utter shock, his mouth moved periodically, but no sound came out. So she pushed on, like the bull in the china shop her mother always accused her of being. "So don't worry… I have no pride where you're concerned. I thought I did… sometimes I wish I did. Part of me wishes I could say, "fuck you", and just turn and walk away. But I'm bonded to you past all reason, all pride. I can't live without you… because there is no Shepard without Vakarian… and without you, the galaxy is empty. So if I have to occasionally… share you… then that's the price I have to pay to be with you, even once in a while."

Garrus shook his head, trying to make sense of the words from his mate's mouth, feeling like he was stuck in that book Shepard had told him about… Alice in Wonderland, where everything was wrong, but looked the same.

Shepard saw Garrus shake his head with the strangest look on his face and the soldier part of her, the one with some manner of pride, wanted her to tell him to get the hell out… to go back to his turian piece of ass and leave her the hell alone. Then she thought of the nights, the days of the rest of her life, long or short and thought of them without Garrus and that shut the soldier up. Tears in her eyes, she tried one final time; if he still turned her away, she'd go… she'd let him go. "Please… please Garrus… I'll… anything. A night, a day... I'll do…."

But Garrus shook his head again and Shepard slumped, he'd made up his mind then, and she wasn't it… bonding or not, and she had no doubt of their bond, he didn't want to deal with her baggage. Who could blame him, really; human, probably early death, no children…. She tried to get some control, tell him it was okay, but it wasn't. She tried to turn, to do… something. Raising a hand to swipe at the tears; the dust and dirt from Menae almost looked like clan markings on her. But Garrus grabbed her shoulders, kept her from turning, then his taloned hand reached down and took her chin, and she realized his hand was shaking.

"Lia… hush." This was it, he was going to send her away… tell her they were too different, that he'd found… something else. She cast her eyes away, unable to see pity in his eyes, unable to face him with no pride left in her. But he reached up both hands to cup her face and turn her face, forcing her to look at him. She felt her breath catch, swallowed hard, tried to be strong when her world, her life was circling the drain. Garrus stared hard into her eyes, as though he were reading her soul. IF she'd been listening, she'd have heard his sub-harmonics, but she was too caught in her own agony.

When Lia had first started talking, Garrus had thought she was getting ready to break it off with him… when she'd finished, he'd realized that human or not, she was just as bonded to him as he was to her. She was, outside these doors, the strongest woman he'd ever met; the solider who would die, had died, to save the galaxy. She was a hardened solider who killed when necessary, saved when possible and made people want to follow her even against impossible odds; then brought them through, victorious. But here, in this room, in his arms, she was Lia. A woman, a female with emotions who loved him more than her pride… more, perhaps, than her own life. She'd begged him to stay with her, the woman who never begged, never allowed anything to come between her and her principles. A woman, a soldier, who stood as a vanguard to every species of the galaxy, not because she wanted to, but because that's how life had worked out.

"You go with the hand you've got."

Her words on Menae came back to him and a story of another card game, far in earth's past when a man had been killed holding three aces and two eights; a dead man's hand. That was, outside this room, the hand she held. Winning, but maybe costing her everything. But here in their room, she had a winning hand, and he was just realizing that he did too. He lowered his head and ran his tongue over her lips, nuzzling her face. He felt, rather than heard her sigh, felt her arch, almost boneless into his body. Even now, she was willing to accept anything he gave her, no matter how big or small, just to have one more moment. She honestly thought he'd turn her away; that he could turn her away. She didn't know that her life was his. She'd said there was no Shepard without Vakarian, but there also no Vakarian without Shepard. They were a pair and despite the odds, they were going to bluff their way through everything to find what happiness they could.

Garrus knew something else, in that split second, no matter what it seemed like; she hadn't chosen the Drell… hadn't chosen THANE over him. However Thane had come back on the ship, it wasn't because she'd chosen to get him first… nor had Thane replaced him in any way, not on her six, not in her nest, not in her life or her heart. Garrus had been wrong. He had, once more, jumped to conclusions and in doing so had hurt his mate.

Garrus gazed down at her, eyes closed, standing on her toes to be closer to him, face pushed close to him. Begging for one more touch, one more taste… and he swore on his mother's spirit that she would never have to beg him again. Slowly he lowered his face to nuzzle her eyes, pressing his lip plates against them. His hands slid from her face to her hands and he brought them to his face and nuzzled them. He gazed into her eyes and saw agony, pain… hopelessness and he was determined to wipe it out of his mate's eyes. He drew her hands to the closure of his under-armor and she glanced at him quickly, questioning. He widened his mandibles in his turian grin and slid his hands down to his mate's waist, holding her close to him, letting her undo the skin tight body suit.

Shepard's hands shook as Garrus placed them on his under-armor. Hesitantly, in case she misunderstood, she glanced at him, and saw the love in his eyes shining down at her. Part of her soul surged with hope, but she viciously tamped it down, this may not be what he was intending… perhaps this was her final time with him, before he moved on. She didn't bother to wipe the tears that poured from her eyes; he did that for her… with his tongue. She undid the clasps, growing bolder as she went until, sliding it off his shoulders and over his arms. He shoved it off his arms, then over his legs, taking care not to damage his spurs.

Shepard gazed at him, her eyes caressing him almost carried weight, and when a new flood of tears came from her eyes, he lowered his head and lapped at them, taking them away and pressing his lip plates to her eyes. Her hands ghosted over him, his chest, arms, shoulders, head, fringe. He raised a hand to her, slowly pulling the heavy shirt with the hood over her head, then undoing her pants and sliding them off her body. She stood in her bra and underwear, shivering with her nipples drawn hard by the chill.

"Edi… turn the heat up in her by 5 degrees, please." She gave him a mute thank you, and he lowered his head, kissing her until she clung to him senseless. He ran a hand over her bra and thanked the spirits he'd gotten better at undoing them. He slid it off her body, exposing her breasts to him, and she drew her hands up to cover herself. Mandibles clanking, he took her wrists and drew her hands away, "Stop that… I love your breasts…." And suiting action to words, lower his head to lap and worship them Her head dropped back and only his arm locked behind her kept her from falling backwards. She ran her hands over his fringe, stroking him, her nails caressing the soft skin beneath. He purred; loving the feel of her hands on him and emboldened, her other hand began to stroke his plates, over his groin. He felt his plates shift, quicker than ever. His body had been denied so long, it was more than ready for his mate.

Garrus slid two talons into the sides of panties and slid them off her body. Pulling her close to him, he let his erection prove how much he wanted her and she arched toward him, mewing in need. Garrus slipped his arm under her knees, his other arm already behind her, and lifted her, nuzzling her, butting her forehead with his, nipping gently at her chin, her throat. She dropped her head back with a moan and he nuzzled and nipped her neck, loving the scar where he'd marked her.

He stepped carefully into their nest and lowered her to the bedding, kneeling over her, gazing at her for a long moment, mandibles wide. Then he lower himself to his belly, his hands sliding up her legs as she began to writhe already, and he hadn't even touched her yet. Gently, he separated the lips of her pussy, gazing at her with adoration plain on his face. Then he lowered his tongue to her, lapping at her nether lips, sliding his mouth down to slide his tongue inside her, her gasp and moan made his cock throb. He slid a talon into her, but she wasn't even close to wet enough.

Smiling, he left the talon inside her and began a judicious application of his tongue on her clit. She gasped and arched, moaning his name and he widened his mandibles that sound was the most beloved sound he'd ever heard… next to her sigh of completion. He kept the pressure on her clit, licking, rubbing it with his nose and chin, his talon inside her, slowing moving in and out. It took very little time, before she was writhing in earnest, arching and tossing head. Only his heavier body, kept her beneath him. He felt the warm, wetness of her climax coat his finger and he drew his talon out, as she mewed in disappointment, then sucked all her fluids off his talon. He was more than ready for her, but he didn't want to hurry this; the first time back together in months wasn't a time for quick, hard, sex; though he loved that with her too. No this was a time for slow, steady making love. Showing her what his words obviously hadn't; that he loved her, that she was the only female he'd ever want.

Garrus rose above her, her half closed eyes gazing at him. He knew his voice made her hot, so he purposely lowered it to a purring growl, put his mouth close to her ear and asked, "How many times did you please yourself there on Earth? Stuck in that room? Away from our nest? How many times did you fingers slide over your belly to touch your clit, rubbing it until you came, calling my name?" He moaned at the shiver that went through her as his hands put his words to action, sliding over her belly to begin stroking her clit, rubbing it. She moaned, arching toward his hand, but his voice was back, "how many times, amica? How often did you do this to yourself?"

Suddenly she tenses and cried out, arching into his touch, cumming hard and fast. As she slid back down, panting, Garrus couldn't wait any longer. He wanted to make it last forever, draw it out, but when she reached out and gripped his cock, her hand sliding over him and he realized she was using her own fluids to lube him, he growled and moved closer between her legs. Putting just the head of his cock in her pussy, then making several shallow thrusts, before thrusting deep, burying him inside her to the hilt as she screamed his name, arching to meet him. He wanted to go slow, to draw it out… but it had been too long and there was too much emotion. He moved so that her legs were over his forearms, and the line of plate on his belly rubbed against her clit with each thrust, then let go, thrusting wildly inside her.

He grunted, growled and moaned, hearing her breath catch as he slid home once more inside her, grinding their pelvises together. It was too much for his mate, who came spectacularly, eyes wide and meeting his own. The spasms of her tunnel almost brought him then and there, but he managed to get enough control to bring her once more, her body arching, writing beneath him. Hands clutching, legs drawing, her entire body was used to draw him into her, to milk him of his seed. Gripping her close to him, he lowered his head to her ear and whispered, "I love you amica… there is NO ONE else for me but you… thisis all I need, all I want… all that sustains me. Ka'herta jafcleet laspah amica…."

Turning her head, her voice thick with emotion and hoarse from crying out her pleasure, she whispered, "ka'herta jafcleet laspah amica. I love you too, Garrus…."

He changed the angle of his thrusts, bring her yet again and as she went over the edge, pleasure tearing at her, her body coming apart at the seams, he thrust once more and nearly howled, shoot his release into her, his teeth closing around the scar on her shoulder, breaking the surface of the scar once again. Holding her place as he met his climax, bringing her yet again over the edge to join him.

Afterward they lay, entwined in their nest and Shepard idly rubbed her face against his chest. She moved slightly so she could look at him, and he cracked one eye open to meet hers. He knew what she was going to ask and he really didn't want to get into it. She said,

"Garrus… what happened?"

Shaking his head and closing the one eye he'd cracked, he said, "Frustration. Exhaustion. Stupidity. A lot of jumping to conclusions. Can we just leave it there, please Amica? I'm here… you're here… we're both in it for the duration… succeed or fail, live or die….We're in this together… but there was NEVER anyone else, amica….NEVER; can that be enough for now?"

Shepard watched him, then smiled, pressing into him, rubbing her cheek on him and snuggling close, "We're good?"

Not bothering to open his eyes, he was far too relaxed, he just said, "Yea, amica… we're good… we're together and Spirits be damned if we're EVER separated again…."

She snuggled closer to him, sighed and closed her eyes resting in his arms. Her arms rested against him, her head tucked up under his chin. Relaxed, completely satiated, secure, she began to drift off to sleep. For the first time in months, she thought it might be ok, that things might work out. She had her mate, she was in his arms, they had the ship… and between the two of them and all their make shift family members, the Reapers didn't stand a chance.

With that thought in mind, she drifted off to sleep, curled in the arms of her mate and was protected, so no dreams interfered.