.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Huge hugs to Snarkymuch and Gredelina1 for sharing their awesome beta skills and to Arrr, Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen and Augustmoon99 for pre-reading.

This chapter is dedicated to NoOneWillSurrenderTonight, Pandora's Hand, WhitlocksHevyn and Rachaelc1994.

The song for the last chapter was Sleep by Texas.

Chapter Thirty Six - You Know What to Do

Edward POV

My heart lifted as the plane descended into SeaTac airport. I was almost there.

It had been all I could do to appear calm and collected during the flight, I desperately wanted to pace the aisles, shouting to all that I was going back to my love. Instead, I sat staring out of the window thinking of all the things I wanted to say to her, the apologies and explanations that I could not form for Esme flew through my mind with ease.

I knew she would be shocked to see me, she may have created a new life for herself in the almost twelve months I had been away, she might have a new love. That thought burned me, but it was what I had wanted after all, for her to have a human life. If she sent me away I would not go, I would remain in the shadows, protecting her from afar.

I worried that she may not be there, it was time for her to start college, she was a good student and I imagined she'd had plenty of choices. I pictured her excited face as she visited campuses and decided on a major. I had missed so much, but I would make it up to her, if she took me back we could go to college together. The rich wonderful life ahead of her made me equal parts envious and excited; she could do anything, be anything, there was nothing holding her back.

The plane landed and I waited impatiently for the seatbelt light to switch off, as soon as it did I jumped to my feet, pulling my rucksack from the overhead locker and made my way to the door. I cleared customs with ease, and as I approached the arrivals area I noticed three familiar scents. Alice, Emmett and Rosalie.

A smile tugged at my lips, Alice must have seen my decision after all and would have been too excited to wait for me to call from Forks.

Edward, we're over here, Alice called mentally.

She was standing by the rain spattered window, flanked by Rosalie and Emmett, they didn't seemed very happy to see me, in fact that looked extremely stressed. Maybe it was going to take more than an apology to make this up to them after all.

Rosalie looked especially annoyed and I wondered why she had come to meet me if my return was so unwanted, she could have saved her remonstrances about my selfish behavior for when I got home.

I made my way over to them and tried to look repentant, it was not easy, I was so excited at the thought of seeing Bella again it was difficult to keep the broad grin from my face.

"I guess you had a vision after all," I said greeting Alice. "I was trying to surprise you."

"You did," she said, and there was something off in her expression, it was sympathetic but also… angry?

Rosalie's phone buzzed and she flicked it open, and read the incoming message. Emmett and Alice looking to her anxiously.

"Resting," she said slipping it back in her pocket. Emmett and Alice sighed with relief.

"What's going on? Who is resting?" I asked. "Why are you here? Why are you blocking your thoughts?"

"We are here to take you back to Forks, we are blocking our thoughts because you don't need to know what we are thinking, and you will know what's happening soon enough," Emmett said coldly. "Come on."

He strode away, Rosalie and Alice following. I considered leaving them to their secrets and renting a car instead, but that seemed petty. They had a right to their annoyance, I had deserted them all for nearly a year and had ignored their calls. I'd be angry if it were me so I followed obediently to the car park and to the large SUV Emmett was standing by.

Alice was in the driver's seat and Rosalie in the back, I slid in beside her then was shoved roughly along the seat as Emmett climbed in beside me.

"What are you doing?" I asked bewildered. I felt a little like a convict being escorted by prison guards with them braced on either side of me.

Nobody answered and they were still guarding their thoughts so closely I was unable to glean more from them. I focused on Emmett, he was usually so open with his thoughts he had little practice blocking me and I suspected he would be the easiest to break.

"Don't do it, Edward," he said catching my intent gaze. "You'll know soon enough. Here will do."

He directed his words at Alice and she pulled into a side road and came to a halt at the edge of the park. They climbed out and stood waiting impatiently for me.

"I'm okay, I hunted before my flight," I explained.

"Hunt again," Alice said firmly then seeing my expression she added. "Trust me, Edward."

She said it so earnestly that I nodded and ran into the trees searching for an appetizing scent. I was not remotely thirsty, but it wouldn't hurt to drink more, I caught the scent of a deer and chased it down, snapping its neck and feeding without enjoyment.

"More," Emmett called from behind me.

I drained another three deer and refused Emmett's instruction of 'more' as I was now so uncomfortably full I feared I may burst.

"I'm fine," I said joining them back at the car. "My thirst is controlled, will you please tell me what's going on."

They exchanged a hesitant look and after a moment Alice nodded. Emmett and Rosalie came to stand beside me and once again I was reminded of prison guards.

"What the hell is going on!" I demanded, reaching my limit with the secret squirrel act. "I understand you are angry at me, but I want to get to Bella."

"We are taking you to Bella," Alice said softly. "She is staying with us."

"What? Why? You promised–"

My words were cut off as Emmett swung his fist back and punched me on the jaw with such force I was knocked to the ground.

I looked up at him confused and feeling a little betrayed as he crouched down, his furious black eyes boring into mine.

"We promised," he snarled, "because we believed you when you said it was for the best. We left her and everything that has happened since is your fault."

"I don't understand, what has happened?" I asked, my words muffled by the hand still gripping my jaw. He had hit me with his full strength and I feared if I let go it may just fall off.

Alice crouched beside me, her expression sympathetic now. "Bella has been hurt."

I tried to jump to my feet, but Emmett held me down, his massive hands gripping my shoulders. I struggled against him, but Rosalie helped and before I could move more than a few feet he pinned me to the floor. He straddled my back, one hand on my chin and the other pulling my head back at an unnatural angle. With one twist of his hands he could remove my head. I froze, my survival instincts coming to the fore.

"Don't push me, Edward," he snarled in my ear. I couldn't imagine what could have happened to change my gentle, happy brother into this fierce vampire.

"Please… what… happened," I asked, it was hard to force the words out between my mingled terror about Bella and the unnatural position my head was in.

Alice knelt beside me, placing her hands on my cheeks, she opened her mind to me at last.

It was an overload of information, the pictures becoming a blur as she struggled to show me it all. Bella in a hospital bed, meeting with the wolves, surgery, suicide, tests, brain dead…

I pulled from her thoughts then, the pain too much to bear. My Bella gone, a living shell.

I could hear a strange keening noise, it sounded like an animal in its death throes. It wasn't until I heard Alice's crooning in my ear that I realized the sound was coming from me.

"Shhh, she's okay, keep looking," she soothed, stroking my cheek. Once again she opened her mind and I watched through her eyes as Jasper told them he could feel Bella, Renee's death, Bella's reaction. I felt her disbelief, and then the mingled guilt and elation as they all discovered the truth. I saw the battle with the newborns and the horrific aftermath.

Her thoughts stopped and I felt Emmett release me, but I stayed on my knees, my breath coming in pants.

"Is she okay?" I asked, my voice tremulous.

"Yes and no," Alice said softly. "She's alive and on the ECMO, but we made a promise and she is calling time."

"Calling time! On what? What did you promise her?" I growled.

"We wanted to change Bella," Rosalie said, I was shocked that it came from her, she had been so opposed to Bella before. Alice had shown me the changed relationship in her memories and apparently it was genuine. "She refused, but wanted more time, she agreed to the ECMO treatment on the proviso that we let her go when she says it's time. This afternoon she said she was ready to go."

"Go? You mean you agreed to kill her?" I asked disgust coloring my tone.

I felt a blow to the back of my head and I was sent sprawling to the ground.

"We didn't want to agree you bastard, we had no other choice. You did such a good job with your break-up speech that she believes you don't want her anymore. Do you have any idea what she has been through? What we have been through? Watching her suffer through this, fighting to protect her, all because you were too much of a pussy to stay and take care of her!" Emmett was beyond furious and I regretted my words at once.

"I'm sorry, Em. I didn't think. I'm just so…"

"Scared?" Alice suggested. "Sad, angry, desperate? We all are, we have been for months, but we haven't had the luxury of solitude that you have. We were here dealing with it all, seeing her suffering and that is why we promised."

"I'm sorry," I apologized again. "So what happens now?"

"That's where we are hoping you can help," Rosalie said. "The main issue Bella has with the change is being alone forever, she truly believes you don't want her so if you can convince her of the truth maybe she will agree to the change."

Fear flooded me, my words had been so cruel that day. They needed to be to convince her to let me go. How was I going to persuade her that it was a lie?

"You will find a way," Alice said, reading my expression. Her eyes became vacant for a moment and I followed the vision with her as she searched. Jasper and Carlisle were standing on the porch of the Forks house talking quietly.

"She must still be resting," she told the others. "Carlisle and Jasper are waiting for us."

We climbed into the SUV, Emmett gave me an assessing look before deciding to play it safe and wedging me between himself and Rosalie.

"The scent of blood is very strong from the ECMO," Alice warned. "You will have to be very careful, Carlisle is meeting us at the drive, if he doesn't think you can control your thirst you aren't getting anywhere near her."

I scoffed, like they were going to be able to stop me getting to my Bella. It was only the knowledge that this was the fastest way home that kept me from running home now.

"Jasper is prepared to incapacitate you if he has to," Alice warned.

Emmett chuckled darkly. "Don't think he won't do it. Jasper and Bella have grown very close lately, and if he thought you were going to hurt her he would rip off your head and make it into a planter before you got within ten feet of her."

"How is Jasper managing the temptation?" I asked, concern coloring my tone. "The bloodlust must be making him crazy."

"On the contrary," Alice said proudly. "He probably has the best control around Bella now, second to Carlisle anyway. Things have changed Edward, you were gone a year and you missed a lot."

I considered her words as we sped along the streets, each mile bringing me a little closer to my Bella. I was relieved Jasper had gained control of his bloodlust, he had struggled for so long, but this new 'relationship' he had formed with Bella made me unreasonably jealous. She relied on him to communicate with them all, even me.

We were soon driving through the familiar streets of Forks and as we pulled into the drive I saw Carlisle and Jasper waiting for us. Alice pulled the car to a halt and Emmett jumped out.

"She awake?" he asked anxiously.

Jasper focused his gift for a moment then shook his head. "Still resting, Esme is sitting with her." I was surprised at the range he could feel her, his gift had never been that powerful before.

"Edward." He nodded a greeting as I climbed out of the car.

I nodded back and turned to Carlisle, his face was wary and stressed. The expression looked odd on his youthful features, and it emphasized the seriousness of the situation.

'Hello son,' he greeted me in his thoughts as was our custom. 'I am happy to see you home.'

"Me too, I am sorry I was gone so long," I answered. The formality of our meeting seemed wrong, I was used to being at ease with Carlisle. I wondered how badly my absence and accompanying events had damaged our relationship. As if he had read my thoughts he stepped forward and embraced me.

'Save her, and all will be well,' he thought to me.

Though he didn't say it, and I knew him far too well to believe that is what he meant, it felt as if that was the price of my return. 'Save her or don't bother staying.'

"Can I see her now?" I asked.

Carlisle looked deep into my eyes, checking the color.

"He hunted," Alice assured him.

"Okay, slowly, you will need to get used to the scent," he warned. "If there is the slightest chance you can't control yourself–"

"I will rip your legs off and send them to Tanya for safekeeping," Jasper said without humor.

I nodded seriously and we made our way along the drive. I drew in deep breaths as we walked, searching the air for her scent. It hit me when we reached the end of the drive, the familiar heady scent of freesia caught in the air and set my throat on fire.

I stopped walking, but continued to draw in the deep breaths of the scent. Emmett and Jasper gripped my shoulders, preparing to restrain me if needed.

"Edward?" Carlisle said.

"I'm fine," I said honestly. "It burns, but I am not thirsty, I can control myself." He nodded and we began walking again.

Rosalie ran into the house and a moment later I heard hushed voices, then Esme appeared on the balcony to the library.

She smiled ecstatically at me and with one smooth leap she jumped to the garden and threw her arms around my neck.

"I missed you so much, you will never leave me again," she ordered, taking my face into her hands.

I smiled in spite of myself, even through all the fear and pain it was good to see her again. This was the greeting I had hoped for when I set out from Rio, before I learned of the drama that had unfolded in my absence.

"I'm sorry, mom," I said sincerely.

"I will talk to you later, you go to your Bella," she said. As if her words were the permission I was waiting for I hurried my pace up the steps and into the house. Jasper ran up the stairs ahead of me, his thoughts focused on protecting Bella. I walked slowly up the stairs and stopped outside the library door. Closing my eyes, I leaned my head against the wall. Afraid to enter.

A small hand tugged my arm and I looked to see Alice smiling encouragingly. "It's a lot to handle at first, but it's still her." Drawing strength from her words I steeled myself and entered the room.

It was worse than I imagined.

"Oh Bella," I sobbed, crossing the room and dropping to my knees beside her bed.

She looked so small on the bed, the machinery surrounding and attached to her dwarfing her thin frame. Far too thin, she had always been slender, but now she looked emaciated. Her once ivory skin was ashen and fragile looking, the faint blue veins prominent. Her chest rose and fell with each mechanical breath forced into her lungs by the ventilator. The ECMO machine hummed as it pumped the blood into her tired body.

Jasper shifted uncomfortably as I took her small hand into my own, pressing a kiss to her palm. From his thoughts I realized he did not see Bella as I did, the machinery and tubes were invisible to him, in his mind she merely looked like she was asleep.

"She is resting," he said, the choice of words reiterating his vision of her as sleeping. "She will probably wake soon though, it has been a while."

I hated how well he knew her, how he had this understanding of her life now that I was ignorant to. He snorted, feeling my emotions.

"It's your own damn fault," he said harshly.

"I know," I admitted. "It's just going to take some time to get used to it."

"You better hope we have time," he snarled. "I swear, Edward, you make this right or I will–"

He cut off, I thought it was for dramatic effect until I felt him projecting emotions in faltering bursts.

"What are you…" I began, then gasped as he spoke.

"I didn't do anything, darlin', he came on his own." There was pause and another round of emotions. "I swear, Bella, he was coming anyway."

He was talking to my Bella. Talking for my Bella. I cursed my ignorance of Morse code, why had I never studied it? I focused on his thoughts instead and listened as he translated her words.

'This is wrong, guilt, not fair, why?'

"I swear it's not guilt, Bella, he was coming anyway, let him talk."

He looked to me and nodded, encouraging me to speak, but I couldn't find words. I was rendered mute, all my easy explanations eclipsed in the anxiety of the moment.

"Talk to her," Jasper hissed angrily.

The others were waiting in the hall, each holding their breath as they waited for me to speak.

'Tired.'

"No Bella!" Jasper commanded. "Don't you dare–"

It was pointless, I felt his anger as she went into what his thoughts referred to as the 'void'.

"What the fuck was that!" he demanded. "You get the chance to talk to her and you're too fucking stupid to form words."

The others had joined us, and I heard the disappointment and anger of their thoughts.

"I'm sorry, it was just a shock," I explained. "I didn't know what to say, and then she was gone."

"You stupid fuck!" Emmett spat. "We spend all this time telling her you were lying to her and then she wakes up, and you don't say a word to her! What the hell is she going to think now?"

He was pacing in his anger, raking his hands through his hair.

"I didn't mean to–" My words were cut off as Emmett grabbed me by the throat and threw me out of the open door and over the balcony into the garden.

I heard Esme's surprised gasp and her calls to Emmett, but he wasn't listening. He leapt down beside me closely followed by Jasper.

"You will go back and you will talk!" Jasper commanded. "You will talk and tell her the truth, tell her you lied the day you left, tell her what you have been doing all this time, and beg her to accept the change. I don't care what you say, but you make her believe. The first thing she hears when she wakes up again is going to be your voice. Understand?"

He was feral in his rage, and I was not ashamed to admit it scared me. I nodded mutely.

"Not good enough!" he roared swinging back his fist and catching me against the jaw. I was so stunned I hadn't even heard the thoughts proceeding the decision, nor did I hear Emmett's as he added his own punch to the back of the head. If he had used anymore power he would have knocked my head off.

"I understand," I gasped through my pain.

"Good," he said with a menacing smile. He and Emmett stood, and gripping my shoulders they dragged me to my feet and carried me through the house and back to Bella's side.

"We are going to leave Edward and Bella alone now," he said. "Edward has a few things to say to her. We will be in the lounge if you need us. I will tell you when she wakes."

The others filed out of the room. Carlisle going last. 'Make it right, son,' he thought looking deep into my eyes.

I nodded, moving carefully around the machinery to sit beside Bella. Taking her hand in mine I began to speak. "I am so sorry love. I never wanted to leave you but I had to, you weren't safe…"

I told her everything, how I had wrestled with my decision, how it had felt to be away from her. I told her every detail of my life of the past year and when I finished I started all over again.

I sat for hours only occasionally interrupted when Carlisle or Rosalie would come to check on her monitors. I waited for the moment Jasper's thoughts told me she was awake again, but it didn't come. Instead I got a continuous loop of the conversation they had when she explained why she did not want to be changed. Jasper was mulling it over in his mind wondering if I was ever going to be able to convince her.

From what I saw it was the fear of an eternity alone that stopped her accepting the change, that was a moot point now, I was here and I would never leave her again.

I pressed my lips to her temple gently, not realizing I had made the decision until I heard Alice's horrified scream; "EDWARD, NO!"

I sank my teeth into the diaphanous skin of her neck.

Trust me, it will all work out. I promise.

Thank you to everyone that read the last chapter, especially those of you that reviewed, I appreciated every one. I have a new selection of lyrics for you to take a look at. Same rules apply; whoever guesses the song will get the next chapter dedicated to them. Good luck.

~ Devil and the deep blue sea behind me. Vanish in the air you'll never find me. I will turn your face to alabaster. ~