Chapter 37

Complications

"That's what I saw."

There was a brief moment of silence. Ron bowed his head, and the firelight cast a complete shadow over his face.

"That can't be," Hermione said suddenly.

Harry looked up at her, surprised at her comment. Ron also lifted his head. "I know what I saw," he said firmly.

"Malfoy would never do that."

"Have you forgotten what he was like at Hogwarts?"

"No, I haven't. I think you have. Ron, Malfoy was a bully, he picked on people, he never…"

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"No! I'm just saying that…" Hermione hesitated. "He's not evil."

"He could've become more evil," Harry said quietly. "He's a Death Eater now."

"But he's our age!"

"So?!" Ron said angrily.

"Ron's right," Harry said, before Hermione could protest. "After being around Voldemort so long, I'd be surprised if Malfoy hadn't completely lost it."

"So you're saying you want it to be true," Hermione said bitterly. "You're not willing to even consider that that ridiculous woman made the whole thing up just to make Ron angry?"

"Why would she do that?"

"I don't know. But she lied to me."

"What did she say to you?"

"She said I was a spoiled little child."

There was a pause. Harry was afraid Ron might make a mean comment, but he seemed to be paying little attention now, his thoughts still focused on Ginny.

"She said I had to kill Voldemort," Harry said slowly.

"See?" Hermione said. "Completely ridiculous. Dumbledore can kill Voldemort."

"But she…"

"She's serving entirely her own interests. She doesn't want to see the Ring fall into enemy hands, so she pulled us all aside and tried to galvanize us into putting just that much more effort into getting to Mordor as fast as possible and killing everyone we find. She thinks that if she can make us angry enough, we might do a better job."

"I…don't know if that's true," Harry said uncertainly.

"Ginny is fine," Hermione said, turning to Ron. "Voldemort has to keep her alive and well to ensure that we come after her. He probably doesn't let anyone, including Malfoy, get anywhere near her! Galadriel made the whole thing up so you would get angry and run off to Mordor to kill Malfoy."

"Then she's succeeded," Ron said darkly.

There was a pause.

"You…you're not thinking of going off on your own, are you?" Hermione asked, stunned.

"Not on my own. But we don't need to bring the whole Fellowship to Mordor. I think they're slowing us down."

"You want to break up the Fellowship?" Harry asked, frowning.

"Yeah!" Ron said, half angry, half excited. "We don't need Neville, or Merry, or Pippin, or Gimli, or Legolas, or…"

"Legolas has saved all our lives plenty of times!" Hermione protested. "Without him…"

"Fine, we can bring him along," Ron said unexpectedly; Harry was certain he would argue. "But those others…what good are they going to do, honestly?"

"They've done a lot of good so far," Harry said, with Hermione nodding her approval.

"When we're charging that Sauron guy's tower, and there's orcs everywhere and Voldemort and Malfoy and all that, do we really want to be worried about protecting Neville?" Ron said. "He'll slow us down! All the hobbits would! In fact, we don't even need Frodo! One of us could take the Ring!"

"Ron!" Hermione gasped.

"I'd take it!" Ron shouted, and Hermione glanced around nervously; the running water next to them would probably mask his voice, but there was a possibility someone might overhear.

"You can't do that," Harry said. "You're not thinking…"

"I am thinking! I'm thinking that these little 'second breakfast' breaks and always slowing down so the slow people like Neville can catch up, I'm thinking that's making things a whole lot worse! I'm thinking that if it took Voldemort a few days to get to Mordor, why the hell are we still here?!"

"Ron, please!" Hermione whispered.

"You don't understand," Ron said angrily. "I'm going to talk to Boromir. I bet he'd agree with me."

He turned and left.

"I feel like I don't even know him anymore," Hermione whispered.

"He's just…angry. And he should be. It's his sister…this quest means more to him than it does to any of us."

"But the things he said…taking the Ring, leaving Neville behind…how can he say that? Neville and the hobbits aren't slowing us down. I have just as much trouble keeping up with Aragorn as anyone."

"He's looking for someone to blame."

"I know, but he can't just keep going on like this…becoming angrier and angrier. With his negative attitude…" Hermione paused. "And I'm sure Boromir's not a good influence on him. He's been looking sour ever since he left Lothlórien."

"Then Ron needs a better influence."

There was a pause. Harry looked expectantly at Hermione.

"I can't," she said quietly.

"You said you…you know…loved him."

"I'm Ron's friend already, if he doesn't listen to me now…"

"If you told him everything would change."

"Why?"

"It might give him a little hope…something to be happy about for once."

Hermione's eyes filled with tears. "I'm not in love with him."

"It's Legolas, isn't it? You said you were just playing around to annoy Ron. You were lying."

"I wasn't lying! It was true when I said it, but…that was a long time ago."

"I'm going to bed," Harry said, standing up.

"Harry, please don't be mad at me!"

"Good night."

Harry walked off. Hermione stared into the fire, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wasn't certain how long she was sitting there before someone sat down beside her.

"Are you all right?" Legolas asked concernedly.

Hermione cleared her throat and wiped the tears from her face. "Yes, I…was just thinking about Ron."

"Ron? Is he troubled by something?"

"Galadriel showed him a vision of his sister."

Legolas' eyes widened. "She is still alive?"

"Yes, but…she's…not well."

"This Fellowship is strong…mightier, perhaps, than even your Lord Voldemort. His sister could not hope for anyone better to carry out her rescue."

Hermione smiled weakly. "I guess so…I just wish Ron were as optimistic. He seems to think we'll fail if we go on as we are."

"Worry and doubt cannot aid this quest, only harm it. We must keep our eyes forward, and strive only to do what we know we can, not what we wish we could."

Hermione nodded. "You're right…you're so right."

Legolas smiled and touched her face. "Do not lose hope, Hermione," he said in Sindarin.

"I won't," Hermione said, struggling but unable to think of the Elvish words to express her thoughts. "I won't ever…not as long as you're here. I feel like…like you're the only one who makes sense in this crazy place."

"At times I feel the very same about you."

There was a pause. "I love you," Hermione said suddenly.

"Hermione…"

"How do you say it? In Elvish, how do you say it?"

Legolas blinked. "I…I…"

"Tell me."

"Amin mela lle."

"Amin mela lle," Hermione repeated, and then she kissed him.

Éowyn dismounted and began unloading her supplies when two servants hurriedly rushed forward and insisted that they do it instead. Éowyn did not complain; she was weary from the long ride, and eager to return to the palace and sleep again upon a soft bed. But first, she would visit Théodred, and then talk to Sirius.

As she walked up the steps to the palace, Éowyn was greeted less cheerfully than she had expected by the palace guards. At the doors a particular friend, Háma, was pacing anxiously.

"Greetings, my Lady," he said distractedly.

"What troubles you?"

"Oh…oh, 'tis nothing, Lady."

"Nothing?"

Háma hesitated. "Your brother, Lady…he has been…causing some trouble."

"Éomer? Causing trouble? What are you talking about?"

"Ever since Prince Théodred left…"

"Théodred left?! What are you talking about?"

"The prince left at dawn this very day, Lady, with a host of men, bound for Isengard."

"You mean…you do not mean to go to war?"

"Gríma called it a peace delegation, but if that be so 'twere the most armed peace delegation I ever saw. Éomer wished for the prince to go in such a way, so that he could be prepared, but then the very hour after Prince Théodred departed a scout from the north reported that a horde of orcs was gathering near the River Isen, where the prince was bid to go."

"Then why did Éomer not go after him?!"

"Éomer would have, Lady, believe me, were it not for the king."

"The king? The king is ill."

"Aye, that is so, but just after the prince left King Théodred sat again upon his throne, as he had not done for many weeks, and ordered that Éomer allow Théodred to go to Isengard without hindrance."

"But…but he would never put his son in that sort of…"

Háma leaned closer to Éowyn and whispered, "That rotten Wormtongue sat beside his throne and whispered to him things no one but he could hear. And the king looks very ill, as though he has aged a hundred years. I believe the king has lost his senses, and Gríma means to put thoughts into his mind."

"Where is Éomer?"

"Gone, my Lady. He rode out this afternoon in a fury. But Gamling says he will return before nightfall; he dares not betray the orders of the king."

"I must see the king."

"I hope things are not so foul as I have told them."

Éowyn entered the palace and stared down the long hall at the throne upon which was now seated her uncle. As she walked toward him, Éowyn could see what Háma had described; Théoden looked very old, almost lifeless. Wormtongue sat beside him.

"My Lord," she said, kneeling before the throne and trying to maintain her calm at seeing him in such a state, "I am pleased to hear that you are well again."

Théoden whispered something in a slow, wheezing voice; Éowyn, kneeling right before him, couldn't understand it, but Wormtongue spoke. "The king is glad to see you have returned to the palace again."

Éowyn was certain Théoden hadn't said that, but she couldn't argue. "I…heard that Théodred has left for Isengard," she commented as casually as possible.

Again, Théoden whispered something, and again Wormtongue translated. "He has gone to Isengard to seek counsel from Saruman."

"Seek counsel?" Éowyn repeated.

"Rohan requires aid against the orc attacks," Wormtongue said, not even waiting for Théoden to answer.

"I…see," Éowyn said quietly. "I…I wish you well, Lord." She bowed her head to Théoden, then stood and walked to her bedroom, slowly at first, then more quickly once she thought Wormtongue could no longer see her.

When she opened the door she was greeted by a delighted yelp from Sirius, and seeing him looking so clearly overjoyed, even as a dog, almost made Éowyn forget her distress at the current situation. When Sirius transformed and stood beaming at her, however, he could see the distracted look in her eyes.

"You're back," he said, looking concerned.

"Yes, I…" Éowyn paused. "I found out about Théodred, and…and the king."

"Oh," Sirius said quietly.

There was a pause.

"Well," Sirius said slowly, "if Théodred does return, and…and he's made peace…then that would be a good thing, right?"

"There is no 'peace' with an army of orcs," Éowyn said bitterly. "What do you think they do when they are not fighting? They are always fighting, always preparing for battle. If Saruman is a fool enough to attempt peace at this point, then his orc army will betray him and attack Rohan under its own leadership."

Sirius swallowed, trying not to look guilty. He had hoped Éowyn would be so happy to be back. Winning her over would be more difficult than he thought.

But he had to do it. Théodred was gone. Sirius didn't know for how much longer. This was his big chance.

"I, um…" Sirius paused. "I missed you."

Éowyn's distracted look of concern became a smile. "I am sure you did…you must have been quite lonely while I was gone, especially since Théodred has left the palace. You have no one else to talk to."

"Yeah, but…even if he had been here…I mean…no one can quite…make me happy, the way you do."

"What a lovely thing to say," Éowyn said, beaming. "And the reverse is true as well…no one can make me happy like you, and Théodred."

Sirius might have given up his very soul cut the "and Théodred" off the end of that sentence. His jealousy for the handsome young prince began to stir up again, and he tried to hide his anger by saying something else nice, when Éowyn yawned.

"I am quite tired," Éowyn said. "Such a long ride…I am afraid we will have to speak again tomorrow morning."

"All right, that's…that's perfectly understandable, I mean…you need your rest…"

Éowyn smiled again, then Sirius turned back into a dog and curled up, closing his eyes while Éowyn undressed and got into bed.

After a few minutes, when Sirius was sure she must be asleep, he turned back into a human and curled his fist. He didn't know how he would ever get Éowyn to stop liking Théodred. And even if he could…

Sirius had always been so likable. He had rarely been in a position where revealing his feelings for a woman might get him completely rejected, and never in one where he might lose a valuable friendship because of it.

Sirius considered all of the terrible things that might happen if he told her how he felt and she didn't respond favorably.

It could be awkward…she might stop talking to me…she might casually tell me she wants me to sleep in someone else's room…or she might demand it. She might disown me completely…she might run me out of the palace…or she might just tell me I'm all better, and I don't need her, and give me some food and a horse and wish me good luck…

Or she might completely flip, and tell Théodred, and he'd have me run out…or she might tell Éomer, and he'd have me killed…

Sirius sat up and looked at Éowyn, who was lying on her bed with her back facing him.

"I love you," he said quietly.

Feeling a little bit better about himself, but still not ready to tell her when she was awake, Sirius turned back into a dog and closed his eyes.

Éowyn's eyes were open.

She wasn't asleep, and she had heard what he had said.

Suddenly things had become a lot more complicated.