Loghain watched in growing concern as Jayden drove himself to the point of exhaustion, training with Gawain and the other guards as often as they could give him time and practicing on his own the rest. He moved down to the training yard nodding to the guardsman. "Jayden."

Moving to his father Jayden rubbed his aching arm.

"Are you hurt?"

Jayden immediately snatched his hand from his arm. "No dad."

Loghain inwardly cringed, this was hardly the time for his stubbornness to shine through. "Jayden you are doing well, but perhaps you are pushing yourself a little too hard." He almost flinched at his sons scowl.

"Dad how else am I supposed to prove to Lyra and Zef's mom she doesn't have to be scared when they are with me? I have to show them I can protect myself and whoever is with me. Then maybe they can be my friends again."

Loghain felt his heart plummet and he hunkered down taking his son's hand. "Jayden …"

"I have to get back to training dad."

Loghain hesitated realising this was something Jayden believed he had to do. Nodding he released his hand. "Be careful." He watched his son for several minutes proud at his growing skill, but aching for the reason behind it.

xXx

Aelfraud smiled as Jayden snuggled next to him as they sat by the fire in his room. Most nights they spent together before Jayden went to bed, both seeking to ensure the other was well. Aelfraud wrapped an arm around his grandson. "I was watching you train this morning."

"I'm getting better grandpa, Gawain said so."

"I could see that; though pushing yourself a little hard I think."

"That's what dad says; but I'm not, honest grandpa."

"Life is about more than training to fight Jayden my boy."

"I know grandpa, but right now that's what is important. If I can fight and protect myself maybe I can see my friends again and if I can fight then mom can stop looking so worried all of the time and Anora wouldn't feel that she has to keep checking on me to make sure I'm still there. She thinks I haven't noticed, but she is not very quiet grandpa and I always see her shadow."

Aelfraud chuckled softly. "She does the same with me."

They sat silently for several moments before Jayden glanced up at his grandfather. "Grandpa can you speak Orlesian?"

"No my boy I'm afraid not, why?"

"I couldn't understand what they were saying on the ship. It was scary. Does anyone in Gwaren speak Orlesian?"

"Well Mother Sarah spent some time in Orlais in her role in the Chantry; I would imagine she may have at least some understanding of the language."

"Mother Sarah doesn't like me very much; I ask too many questions I think." He chewed his lip thoughtfully. "I wonder what her favourite flower is."

Aelfraud couldn't help but smile. "Into bribery now are we?"

Jayden gazed at him innocently. "A peace offering grandpa."

"Oh, is that what you are going to call it?"

"I thought you said all women like flowers, even the ones who pretend they don't." He gave a cheeky grin. "Especially the ones that say they don't."

"Maker you remember everything you are told don't you?"

"Yes."

"You might want to try the blue meadow flowers; I've seen her pick them a time or two."

Jayden grinned and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Thanks grandpa."

xXx

Rathnal glanced to Lyra and Zef, all three perched in a tree with a good view of the main entrance to the Alienage. "What if Jay never comes back?"

Zef sighed. "Your grandpa spoke to mom, but she won't change her mind. Even if he did we couldn't play with him."

Lyra scowled fiercely. "I hate her."

Rathnal chewed his lip. "Well maybe we don't meet him here then, maybe we meet at the cave."

"You heard Tolman." Lyra snapped. "Guards are with him all the time outside. Mom would find out and then she would stop us going out. We need to find another way."

"Like what?" Zef muttered.

Lyra glared at her hands. "I don't know; but we have to find a way."

xXx

Mother Sarah glanced up hearing the clank of armour startled to see Jayden approaching her, his two guards remaining at the doors. She remained kneeling by the statue watching his approach wondering what he had behind his back.

"Good morning Mother Sarah."

"Good morning Jayden, it is a pleasure to see you here."

"I wondered if I could just sit a while, it's quiet here."

"Of course. Would you like me to sit with you?"

Jayden nodded and settled on a bench. As Mother Sarah sat next to him, he handed her the bunch of freshly picked flowers.

Mother Sarah raised an eyebrow and inhaled their delicate scent. "They are very beautiful, thank you."

"I know as a Mother you aren't supposed to have … well things, but I didn't think the Maker or Andraste would mind you having some flowers. I'm sure Andraste liked getting flowers too." He fell silent forcing his legs to stop swinging.

Mother Sarah watched him and allowed a slight smile. "I think she would like these flowers very much. Shall we put them next to her statue and then they can be for us both?" She was startled to feel her heart lighten at the beaming smile he gave her. They arranged the flowers beside one of the smaller statues near a window where daylight would reach the petals. "Now child, tell me why you are really here."

Jayden sighed. "I know I ask lots of questions and it makes you cross, but if I promise not to ask any more questions would you teach me Orlesian?"

"Do I seem cross?"

"Just with me."

Mother Sarah felt as though she wanted the earth to swallow her up. Maker forgive me. "We are all the Makers children, so I would imagine He made you curious for good reason." She allowed a slight smile. "I would be happy to teach you what I know of the Orlesian language, but it is basic."

"Thank you."

Smiling Mother Sarah nodded. "Very well; shall I come to the estate, or would you like to come here?"

"Here please."

"I shall speak with your mother and we shall make arrangements." Mother Sarah flushed as he kissed her cheek.

xXx

Loghain smiled warmly as Jayden joined him in the garden, he would discover later that Gawain had suspended training for a few days to enable Jayden to rest, despite the boys numerous protests. Jayden curled up at his feet reading the book Tyris had given him; it rarely left his hands when he wasn't training. "Jayden come here a moment."

Jayden glanced up and put down his book snuggling on to his father's knee.

"I need to go back to Denerim in a few weeks; would you like to come with me?"

"Do you have to go?"

Loghain tried not to wince at his son's obvious alarm. "I have important business with King Maric, making sure we are all safe."

Jayden worried at his lip. "Maybe he could come here."

Loghain gently pressed a kiss to the top of his sons head. "Come with me. The Couslands will be there and I'm sure Ellowyn wants to see you." He was startled by the painful sigh that left his son's lips.

"Will Ell be allowed to see me dad?"

Loghain hugged him a little tighter. "Yes Jayden; Ellowyn will be allowed to see you."

"Are you sure; because Teyrn Cousland was there and he saw?"

"He saw how brave you were and he is as proud of you as we are."

"It would be nice to see her." He stated softly; focusing his gaze on his father's pendant. "Are you sure dad because if you're not sure I'd rather stay here?"

"I'm sure."

"Can I think about it?"

"If you need to."

Jayden nodded. "I just … it was awful going to the Alienage and not ..." He trailed off miserably.

"I know; though you could see Rathnal if you wished, he is eager to see you."

Jayden sighed miserably. "I miss him; but the others in the Alienage ... they looked at me funny dad, like they were nervous about me being there. I don't want to make them nervous." He gave a weak smile as his father hugged him a little tighter.

"Well have a think about Denerim and let me know."

xXx

Jayden was up early the following morning; when he was concentrating on fighting techniques he wasn't disturbed by memories of what had happened. An hour into practicing he noticed Simon crossing the training yard towards him.

"Hi."

Jayden put his practice sword on the rack. "Hi."

Worrying at his lip Simon shoved his hands in his pockets. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good."

"I would have come to see you sooner, but mom said you would need a little time. I just wondered if you wanted to do something. We could … um … spar unless you're bored."

"Sure." Jayden retrieved the sword from the rack. "Pick one you're comfortable with."

Simon tested the swords; selecting one that wasn't too heavy, giving a few practice swipes before facing Jayden.

"Isn't your mom worried about you being with me?"

Simon shook his head grinning slightly. "Jay you are probably the safest person to be with right now. No-one is going to let anything happen to you."

A soft sigh left Jayden's lips. "I wish Lyra and Zef's mom thought that."

"Problems?"

Jayden parried Simon's lunge and stepped backwards to avoid the second. "Yes."

Simon didn't push, the two countering each other's moves in silence. He noticed Jayden wince as he jarred his arm, pretending not to notice. "You're really good."

"You too."

"With two older brothers I need to be." Simon grinned. "I'm thirsty; do you think we could get something to drink?"

"Yes of course."

Sara glanced up as the two boys entered the kitchen smiling broadly. "Young Master Jayden and young Master Simon what are you in the mood for?"

"Just something to drink thank you Sara." Jayden stated.

Simon grinned at the huge plate of cookies she handed to them.

"Just in case you get hungry."

"Thank you." The boys chorused.

"Mind and you eat some of those Master Jayden, made them fresh this morning myself."

"I will." Jayden called back as he hurried Simon out of the kitchen before Sara gave them any more food. They climbed the outer wall and looked out towards the sea. Jayden pushed the plate towards Simon without taking one himself. "Do you ever think about what you will be doing when you're older?"

Simon took a bite of a cookie and shrugged. "I'm the youngest of three. I'll probably end up in the Chantry."

Jayden glanced over to him. "I can't see you as a brother somehow."

Simon chuckled. "Me either. My father will give me to the Templar Order I guess." He caught Jayden's slight look of alarm. "It won't be so bad. My uncle's a Templar; it's kind of a family tradition, any third sons go into the Order."

"Do you want to join the Templars?"

"It's a purpose." Simon shrugged. "It will be interesting I suppose." He grinned. "Being Teyrn will be interesting for sure."

Jayden shook his head slightly. "How am I supposed to live up to my dad? I couldn't even get away from …" He fell silent gazing at the horizon.

Biting his lip Simon nudged him. "Your dad wasn't a hero when he was a boy, that wasn't until much later."

"Doesn't matter." Jayden stated stubbornly. "I'll always be the boy they had to come rescue." He frowned at Simon's astonished expression. "What?"

"I've heard the soldiers talking. You actually managed to get off the ship and tried to swim to shore and you bloodied that Orlesian's nose after telling your dad not to drop his sword, even though there was a dagger to your throat! I'm not sure I would have been that brave."

"I wasn't being brave." Jayden protested.

"Really; because it sounds brave to me. Now eat one of these cookies because I am not eating them all myself."

Jayden hesitated before picking up a cookie and nibbling at it. "Does everyone know what happened?" He asked quietly.

"Not everyone, I was eavesdropping if I'm honest." Simon gave a cheeky smile. "I can't help myself I just like to know what's going on." He relaxed as Jayden smiled. They continued to talk until the bell rang signalling midday. "I guess I better get home for lunch." Simon stood and stretched. "I could come back tomorrow, if you wanted to do something."

Jayden smiled and nodded. "See you tomorrow."

xXx

Celia smiled as Jayden sat himself next to her; relieved that for once he hadn't spent the entire morning with a sword in his hand. "Have you had fun darling?"

"It was nice to see Simon."

"I'm pleased. Why don't you wash up, your father will be in soon and then we can have lunch."

Jayden winced. "Mom can I skip eating, I had cookies with Simon and I'm really full."

Celia raised an eyebrow, having seen Simon take a pocketful home with him. "One cookie is not a lot Jayden." She shook her head at his huffed breath. "Sweetheart if you are going to train as much as you do you need to eat. If you are not going to eat then you will reduce your training."

"But mom!"

"But mom nothing. It's your choice Jayden."

"Fine I'll go get washed up then."

"Good boy." Celia smiled to herself as he trudged to the door. "Have you decided if you are going to go to Denerim with your father?" She asked casually; holding her breath at the hesitation.

Jayden took a deep breath; he had to prove he was better to his mom, even if he didn't always feel it, she looked so sad when she was worried. "I guess I should go."

Celia smiled warmly. "You always have fun in Denerim."

Jayden forced a smile; what he really wanted to do was stay right where he was, but he knew he couldn't hide forever. He kissed her cheek and left the room to seek out his grandfather. He found him in the garden; eyes closed, face tilted up to the sun. Jayden quietly settled next to him.

Aelfraud opened one eye and glanced at his grandson. "Training finished for today?"

"Simon visited. It was nice to see him." Jayden let out a low sigh; his gaze fixed on his feet.

"I know that look."

Jayden glanced up smiling as his grandfather patted his hand.

"Tell me what is worrying you."

"Grandpa will you be alright if I go to Denerim with dad?"

Aelfraud smiled warmly. "Of course dear boy; I am much better now, no need to worry."

"But I do worry grandpa. What if you get really sick again?"

Aelfraud gently squeezed his hand. "I might very well get sick again, but that should not stop any of us getting on with our lives. I have lived a long life Jayden and should the Maker decide it is my time I believe I can go to his side being proud of the life I have lived. That said, I do not intend to go just yet." He smiled and hugged his grandson. "I'm too curious to see what you will get up to."

Jayden grinned. "Love you grandpa."

"I love you too my dear boy."

xXx

Leaving the guards at the doors of the Chantry Jayden made his way to the largest statue of Andraste and carefully lit a candle at the base using one of the many candles the Mothers lit each day. "Andraste I'm not really sure why people light candles, but I've seen my mom do it. I'm sure I heard someone say it is about honouring the way you died." He glanced up at the statues face. "But if I was burned I'm not sure I would want to be reminded about it. I heard someone else say it repre … sents the Makers light. I think I like that better. I just wondered if you would watch over grandpa and mom while we are in Denerim and could you please tell the Maker not to take grandpa for a very long time." He worried at his lip and then glanced up at the statue again. "My family keeps saying I'm brave; even Simon thinks I am, but I'm not, I'm scared all of the time. I don't know how to stop being scared." He rubbed his nose in agitation and let out a rush of breath. "Andraste I don't know what to do. Rath is probably really cross with me because I haven't visited him but I can't, not until I can be sure he will be safe with me around." He turned as the sound of movement and saw one of the Mothers move towards the back room with a quill and parchment in her hands. Jayden grinned and glanced up at the statue. "Why didn't I think of that? Thank you Andraste." He settled on the front bench gazing at the beautiful stained glass window depicting the Makers bride smiling as Mother Sarah settled next to him.

"Are you well child?"

"Yes Mother Sarah. I just wanted to ask Andraste a few things."

"Ah."

"Mother Sarah do you think Andraste was ever scared?"

"I am sure she was; but you know, sometimes the situations in which we are most scared, we prove ourselves to be the bravest."

"She must have been very brave."

Glancing at the boy Mother Sarah wished she could think of something else to say, but the silence extended between them and then Jayden was standing and saying goodbye. She watched him leave seeing behind the brave mask to the frightened child beneath, wondering why she had suddenly been so lost for words. She sighed and knelt before the statue of Andraste, perhaps he had received what he had needed.

xXx

Tolman settled next to the fire watching Rathnal clutch the letter he had brought from Jayden. He glanced to Alok, both hoping the boys would be reunited.

Rathnal rushed to his room and sat on the bed carefully opening the seal, licking his lips as he began to read.

Dear Rath,

I'm really sorry I haven't come back to visit. I just wanted things to be normal when I came back, but everything has changed. People look at me differently and I can't even imagine going to the docks by myself anymore. I miss coming to the Alienage. I miss our secret place and I hate feeling scared all of the time.

I'm learning to fight and training really hard so Lyra and Zef's mom won't need to be afraid if I am around. I promise I will come back when I can keep us all safe.

I'm going to Denerim with dad and Anora, they are having another Landsmeet because of what happened. I don't want to leave Gwaren and I don't want to go on a ship, but if I don't then I'm a coward and Wyvern's aren't cowards.

I miss you all.

Your friend always

Jayden

Rathnal sighed deeply and folded the parchment. "You're not a coward Jay."

xXx

Jayden stared at the ship, having to force himself not to move closer to his father. He gave a weak smile as Anora moved closer to him, knowing she sensed his discomfort.

Celia was remaining in Gwaren unwilling to leave her father so soon after his episode of illness; Loghain having repeatedly assured her Jayden would be safe. She gave her son a hug aching at his hesitation. "You have always loved the sea Jayden; as soon as you could talk you were telling us all of the places you would sail too. Do not let them take that from you."

Taking a deep breath Jayden turned to the ship. He knew every inch of the Golden Wyvern, loved the beauty of each curve, had stood at her bow as she forged her way through the water. He loved the mystery and beauty of the sea and he would not let one experience take that from him. I'm not a coward!

Aelfraud gently pulled his grandson into his embrace and pressed a kiss to his forehead before he gently pressed a pendant into his hand of a silver wolf on a black cord. "Ariyl. She will keep you safe."

Jayden gave a delighted gasp. "You remembered!"

Aelfraud grinned. "You are not the only one who remembers everything!"

"Thanks grandpa."

Aelfraud helped Jayden to fasten the pendant pleased he already looked more relaxed.

Jayden followed his father and sister on board after giving his mother; grandfather and Tolman a final hug, smiling as the Captain greeted them.

As they set sail Jayden gazed out across the waves ignoring the building anxiety. He glanced to his father who was standing by the Captain before looking back out at the vast expanse of water. He took a calming breath as his fingers traced over the pendant; determined that no matter what happened, he would be brave.

xXx

Author Note: Thank you to everyone reading, following and reviewing. I hope you enjoyed.

Airyl (Silver Wolf) is the name Jayden wants to give to his ship when he is older.