The dreamy look on Sirius' face made me think he was about to spew out marriage proposals to all the girls hanging on him like flesh-eating slugs, and all the lunch I had managed to eat was threatening to make a reappearance. I pushed back from the table, mumbled some excuse about feeling ill to Lily, and left the Great Hall without uttering a single word to anybody else.

I was free for the rest of the day – thank Merlin for free periods – and planned on going back to the common room, perhaps getting some homework done so I would have time to make up for all the sleep I had missed. I traipsed through the corridors in a sort of daze, filling my mind with aimless nonsense to distract myself from the particularly violent thoughts I had towards Sirius and his doe-eyed admirers.

It was all too reminiscent; I'd thought I was getting closer to him, then he'd turned around and indulged himself in some other girl and I was left all alone to wallow in self-pity. It was deplorable and I was way past being tired of it; I was beginning to think if I could get my hands on a genie, I'd wish to be rid of my feelings for Sirius forever.

I'd just managed to plop down on the chair in front of the fire and close my eyes for a split second of relaxation when I heard the portrait door slide open and someone's footsteps drawing closer until they were right next to me.

"Go away," I muttered with my eyes still screwed shut.

"I'd really rather not," Remus said calmly, and I looked up in surprise to see him standing there with a sad smile on his face, "May I sit?" he asked kindly, and I nodded. He drew the nearest armchair closer and settled down into it with a sigh of relief.

"Tired?" I asked knowingly.

"Exhausted," he agreed, staring into the fire, "Dumbledore's given me permission to skip Ancient Runes,"

"Are you feeling any better about earlier?" I inquired hesitantly, remembering his previously pained expression, and he let out a curt and humorless laugh.

"It's hard to feel sorry for him when he's clearly enjoying all the new attention," he shook his head, though whether out of amusement or exasperation - or a mixture of both – I couldn't tell.

"Can't argue with that," I grumbled, and Remus shot me a sideways glance, looking apologetic, "Still reckon he likes me?" I asked bitterly, staring down at my shoes and kicking the hearth of the fireplace with more than a little resentment.

"I do actually," he replied softly, and I groaned, drawing my knees up to my chest and burying my face in my hands, "There has to be a reason the whole school thinks you're together, right?" he added quickly, wilting under the glare I was giving him from behind my fingers.

"The 'whole school' is a bunch of dimwitted baboons," I protested.

"Oh, please," he scoffed, "Sometimes you think he likes you, too,"

"Do not,"

"Do, too,"

"Do not,"

"Lily told me about that one time you were acting all loopy in the morning and confessed that you thought he had feelings for you,"

"She's a dead woman," I seethed, and Remus threw his hands up in aggravation, "I just don't understand how he could possibly like me. You saw what just happened in the Great Hall, didn't you?" I exclaimed, mimicking his gesture.

"You're telling me you wouldn't act the same way if a group of guys started throwing themselves at you?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

I paused.

"Ah," he nodded with a satisfied smile, "I thought so,"

I sniffed, unsure how exactly to argue.

"Listen," he sighed, "He's an idiot. I'm willing to bet every galleon I own that he fancies you, very much even, and he just doesn't know how to go about telling you.

"He doesn't even like girls. He thinks they're daft and annoying, which is why he backs out as soon as any of his relationships start to stray from being strictly physical. I can't think of any reason why he'd spend so much time with you," he paused out as I let out a choked cough, "And not try anything on you if he didn't feel something for you,"

"He spends time with me because I tutor him," I shook my head, my voice wavering slightly with my lie, "And maybe he just isn't attracted to me at all," I shrugged, and Remus rolled his eyes.

"You're definitely not unpleasant to look at, trust me," he half-smiled, and I blushed, flattered. I beamed at him, ignoring the sound of the portrait hole opening again until a voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"What's going on here?" Sirius asked accusatorily. I turned my head to see him awkwardly standing in the middle of the rug, looking between the two of us incredulously. Remus' face twisted uncomfortably and he jumped to his feet, pushing his chair back to its original position with a flick of his wand.

"Just having a chat," he said nonchalantly, walking backwards towards the stairs in what I assumed was supposed to be a casual manner but which actually looked so blatantly guilty I almost laughed out loud, "I'm off to bed now. Goodnight," he added, though it was barely one in the afternoon, turning on his heel and practically sprinting up to the boys' dormitory.

Sirius stared after him with his mouth half-opened and his eyebrows furrowed, before glancing back at me. I blinked at him several times, waiting for him to speak, but the dumb expression on his face and his obvious struggle to come up with words were beginning to annoy me. I turned back towards the fire, grabbing the poker someone had managed to conjure up after I'd Vanished it and flipping the logs over, frustrated.

I didn't even look up when the armchair appeared back at my side and Sirius dropped himself into it, or when I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my face. It wasn't until he cleared his throat for the third time that I finally turned to glance at him.

"Yes?" I asked, more coolly than I intended.

"A chat about what?" he asked, searching my face.

"Sorry?"

"What were you and Moony talking about?" he tried again, and I narrowed my eyes.

It was extremely frustrating that he could go running off with some floozy whenever he wanted, but I couldn't even exchange a single word with Remus without being interrogated. I couldn't even wrap my mind around why Sirius was so keen on insisting there was something going on between his friend and me; the whole jealousy theory seemed a bit too farfetched.

Despite Remus' assertions, I still was having trouble believing that Sirius truly cared for me as anything other than a "partner in crime" – I was almost positive once the prank was over, we'd go back to the way we'd always been before. I'd tell everyone we'd finish our tutoring sessions, and I'd return to my prior position of the girl that simply sat and watched as he snogged half the population of the school.

"I don't believe that's any of your business," I replied dully, and made to turn back to my angry log-jabbing when Sirius grabbed my arm, holding me in place. I raised my eyebrows and glanced down at his fingers before looking back up at him, "I'd appreciate it if you'd let go of me," I said, and he immediately dropped his hand.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say there was a slightly redder tint than usual in his cheeks, but Sirius Black was not one to blush.

"It's just," he started, clearly uncomfortable, "You were looking at each other like…like…"

"Like what?" I practically snapped.

"Like the way people who are more than just friends look at each other," he muttered, and I resisted the urge to groan, not even bothering to respond.

We sat in tense silence before Sirius spoke again.

"Are you?"

"Are we what?" I asked, feigning innocence.

"Charlotte," he whined, and I let out an exasperated sigh.

"I've told you a thousand times," I placed a hand on my forehead and closed my eyes, "No,"

"But-"

"No buts. There is not – and never will be – anything between us," I exclaimed, uncertain if I was still only talking about Remus.

"Oh," he said stupidly.

"Besides, he likes someone else," I shook my head indignantly.

"I know," he nodded, and I was momentarily surprised. He and Remus may have been best mates, but I'd just always assumed I was the only one I'd been the only one who knew the secret about Scarlett, "I just thought maybe he'd lied-"

"Why would he do that?"

"I…" he faltered, "I don't know,"

"I rest my case," I huffed, flopping back in my chair.

"Charlotte," Sirius said softly, and, despite my intentions, my gaze was drawn back to him. He looked concerned; his eyes were downturned – the purple one looking even more pitiful – and his pout was due to more than just the slight inflammation of his lips, "Are you angry with me?" he asked even more quietly, and my heart – though I'd tried so hard to toughen it – constricted with guilt.

"No," I lied.

But I was.

I was angry because he kept doing all these things – brushing his fingers against my back when he leaned against the couch behind me, holding my hand when we were sneaking through the corridors, flagrantly staring at me during class, saying things to me that were overly flirtatious even by his standards – but always took a step backwards whenever our relationship was close enough that I actually thought something might happen.

I was angry – though it was admittedly hypocritical of me – because if, by some odd twist of fate, he actually did like me, he refused to grow a pair and actually do something about it.

I was angry because I couldn't understand him.

"Is this like that one detention last time I thought you were mad at me?" he asked, and I frowned, confused.

"What?"

"You know…" he pressed, his expression more pained than ever, "Your, erm, women's troubles?" I stared for a few moments, until I remembered the notes we'd passed and my ingenious excuse.

"Oh. Right, yeah," I lied again, then emitted a short laugh – a little too amused with the ridiculousness of the situation - earning myself an incredulous look. Sirius' obvious lack of understanding only made me laugh harder, and I was soon sprawled out on the armchair, hiccupping through tears of laughter for the second time in less than a day.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked, placing his hand on my arm again, though this time hesitantly. He patted me a couple times to comfort me, albeit extremely awkwardly, and I attempted to indiscreetly shrug away; as if what I really needed at that moment was for him to touch me.

"Mm, yes," I wiped the tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand, "Hormones," I giggled.

"Of course," Sirius nodded, trying to look as if he had any idea what was going on, though extreme bewilderment was highly evident in his eyes.

It seemed as if I'd finally hit rock bottom; all my worries that I'd eventually go mad had finally come true.

"I'm going to have a nap," I announced, leaping up from my chair and heading towards the dormitories.

Remembering something right as I reached the foot of the stairs, I turned back around. Sirius was staring after me with the still dumbfounded expression he'd watched Remus with.

I just then realized how strange it was. He'd never admit to caring too much about anything; he was that man from the movies that always showed up in a room by leaning lazily against the doorframe with a smirk on his face. I'd never once seen him look as befuddled as he did now, as completely awestruck by a situation – he was clearly not used to being so unsure of what to think or do.

"What were you going to say to me this morning?" I asked suddenly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"In the hospital wing?" I clarified, "You grabbed my hand and said my name, but Madam Pomfrey interrupted us,"

"I…I don't remember," he stammered.

"Don't bullshit me," I sighed, and his eyes widened momentarily.

"You'll be angry again,"

"Try me,"

"I was going to ask about you and Remus," he said slowly, and the tiny amount of hope I hadn't even noticed I had shriveled up again and hid back in the tiny crevice of my body it always seemed to end back up in. Sirius must have noticed the mutinous expression on my face, because he quickly held up his palms in defense and expanded on his confession, "You'd thought it was him that was hurt and you came rushing down there in your…your nightgown. What was I supposed to think?"

"That I'm a good friend?" I said quietly, but waved my hand before he had a chance to respond, "In case I don't see you again until tomorrow, what time are we meeting?"

"Meeting?" he repeated.

"For the prank," I clarified, "Don't tell me you already forgot,"

"No, no," he shook his head rapidly, "Meet me here at, uh, seven thirty?"

I nodded, scrutinizing him. He was seated in the same exact position I'd left him in, not having shifted a centimeter since I'd gotten up. The longer I stared, the more impatience replaced my anger until every murderous feeling I had had dissolved completely and all I was left feeling was unbearable restlessness.

I ignored my foot, which suddenly couldn't seem to stop bouncing, and tried to push the fact that my heart seemed to be pounding in my throat and slowly constricting my windpipe out of my mind. I had bigger problems; if everything I wanted to say didn't come tumbling out of my mouth right at that second, I felt as if I might actually explode.

"Do you have feelings for me, Sirius?" I blurted out, and instantly felt the weight of the world I'd been carrying around on my shoulders for years lift up off of my shoulders.

I was both shocked and impressed with myself; I'd finally voiced my on again, off again suspicions to their creator, and the world didn't end. I didn't even pass out or anything – I just said it, and I was standing there with nothing to betray my terror other than my shaking palms.

The same couldn't be said about Sirius. His eyes practically bugged out of his head and he was opening and closing his mouth like a fish. If the situation wasn't so dire, I would've been laughing again.

"Wha-" he sputtered, "I don't…I never…"

That was all I needed to hear.

"Forgive me," I said, then turned and walked calmly up the stairs. I paused after I opened the door to my dormitory, letting my hope peek its head out just once more.

When Sirius didn't call out after me, I stepped through the threshold and closed the door – on him and on the hope.

I expected it to be more cataclysmic.

I thought that I'd be found unconscious in my bed with a rose in one hand and a broken heart, or, at the very least, that I'd sit up all night staring out the window, longing for what could never be.

Instead, I did homework. Not one anguished tear, and I was proud to say that I only punched my pillow once.

I reckoned it was because the majority of me had always expected it. The logical part of me knew that every time he treated me with any sort of tenderness, in any way that made me think he might see me as anything other than a friend – or maybe not even that, if Remus was right when he said that Sirius was a misogynist – it was just because it was in his nature.

Even still, I'd expected to be a lot more devastated than I was. I felt more numb than sad; I briefly imagined I'd left every part of myself except my actual physical body on the floor in the common room.

The only thought that was repeatedly running through my head was that the whole school really was a bunch of dimwitted baboons.

Lily found me lying on the floor at dinner time with my feet propped up against the wall, completely immersed in my Transfiguration textbook.

"Lily!" I happily exclaimed when she kneeled down next to me, "Good news. I think I finally made a breakthrough in Transfiguration,"

"Are you alright?" she asked, completely ignoring the fact that I suddenly understood my worst subject.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I smiled.

Lily stared, then felt my forehead with the back of her hand.

"You do feel a little warm," she murmured, "Should I take you down to the hospital wing?"

"No, that's quite alright," I giggled, "I'm fine here,"

"Have you spoken to Sirius lately?" she inquired, looking at me as if I were crazy – not that I didn't agree with her, "He's been walking around looking as if he's seen a ghoul,"

"Right," I nodded, somehow not at all surprised by the information. He had to be very shaken up after actually being accused of feeling anything but physical attraction for a girl, "Yes. I did talk to him,"

"What did you say?" she asked incredulously.

"I asked him if he liked me," I shrugged, picking up my book again, then cried out in protest when Lily plucked it out of my hands.

"You did what?" she shrieked, grabbing me by the shoulders and sitting me up. She was staring into my face as if trying to figure out if I was an intruder that had taken over her best friend's body.

"Don't worry," I shook my head, "He said no,"

"Oh," she breathed, "Oh, Charlotte. I'm so sorry," she whispered, her green eyes wide and threatening to spill tears any second. She truly was a gift; the girl who I'd rarely seen cry was driven to such extents because of me. I enveloped her in a hug, patting her hair until she pulled away from me and again stared at me like I was loony, "Why are you comforting me?"

"You seem more upset than I do," I told her as if it was obvious.

"I don't understand," she frowned, "I thought you loved him,"

"I do," I agreed matter-of-factly, and she paused.

"I'm really starting to think I should take you to Madam Pomfrey," she stood up, taking me by the hand, but I slipped my fingers out of hers and shook my head.

"I'd rather just stay here-"

"I'll stay with you. We'll have a girl's night," she interjected quickly.

"Go to dinner, Lily," I pressed, "I'll be fine by myself,"

It took several minutes of coaxing to get her to leave, but finally I managed to push her out the door with the promise that I'd let her paint my nails the second she returned. I leaned against the wall once she was gone and let out a sigh, kicking the textbook I'd already lost interest in against the floor and surveying the room for something else to distract myself with.

I flipped through Isabelle's new Witch Weekly, but found that all the engagement notices and cheating scandals squeezed my heart in a way I didn't particularly enjoy. I laid on Mary's bed, bouncing a rubber ball against the ceiling until it ended up slipping through my hand and administering a painful blow to my skull. I even cleaned the trunk at the end of my bed, something I hadn't done since the end of fifth year and which, more than anything, truly revealed the desperation of the situation.

I only made it through forty minutes of distractions before hunger started calling out from my stomach. I ignored it for all of ten minutes, but soon the grumblings were started to drive me madder than I already was and I left the room in resignation.

Instead of heading into the Great Hall to join my friends – who were probably finishing up anyway – I made a different turn and headed down the stairs to the basement, where I stopped at the giant painting of fruit on the wall. I'd only been there a handful of times before, but I didn't even hesitate to reach out my hand and tickle the green pear wedged between the two bunches of grapes.

It wiggled under my fingers, laughing loudly, then morphed into a doorknob that turned easily in my hand. I pushed the newly formed door open and stepped through into the large, bustling room.

There were house elves everywhere, running around the five tables stretched out across the floor amidst teetering piles of pots and pans. The second I stepped through however, a large number abandoned whatever they had been working on, ran up to me, and bowed.

"Is the Miss hungry?" the one with crooked ears and a bulbous nose asked.

"What would the Miss like?" another, a female with a pointed nose and a squeakier voice, added.

"Could I have some onion soup, please?" I asked, and half of the elves immediately scattered in several directions. The others grabbed me by the ends of my robe and led me to the right, bringing me straight to a table with another inhabitant, slouched over a plate.

I expressed my gratitude to the house elves and they all bid me another bow before disappearing. A couple appeared in the next moment, one carrying a steaming bowl of soup and the other a spoon and a napkin, all of which they placed on the table and left before I had a chance to utter a word.

I was left alone with my food and my unwelcome companion. He'd clearly noticed me by now, as he'd seemingly forgotten about his turkey and was staring up at me with a mixture of surprise and exasperation.

"How many more times is this going to happen?" Snape asked dryly as I slurped up my food hungrily.

"I might ask you the same thing," I replied once I'd put down my spoon.

"What are you doing here?" he sighed.

"I wasn't in the mood to be with people," I shrugged, biting into the bread that had at some point appeared next to me, "You here because of Lily?" I asked through a mouthful of food, and his lip curled.

"Subtlety isn't your strong suit, is it?" he asked coolly, and I smiled sadly.

"I'm really sorry about that," I told him, "I really did try,"

"I know," he said quietly, looking away.

My pity for him was even worse now that I had more of an understanding how he felt. And he'd gone through this numerous times; each time Lily ignored one of his letters, it was like another rejection and another harsh blow to his heart.

No matter what the Marauders thought, he was still a person, one with emotions, and I only had a slight taste of his pain.

I cleared my throat, deciding to change the subject and save the poor boy the embarrassment and instead dig around in my Tough Charlotte persona – I realized I'd already embodied her earlier in the day – and make some progress on my Slytherin snooping. I stuck my tongue in my cheek and twirled my spoon between my fingers, casting furtive glances up at Snape, who was eyeing me strangely from behind his curtain of hair.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and, to my surprise, there was a bit of amusement in his voice. I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You were too quick to judge me," I whispered, "Last night,"

"Sorry?" his lip twitched.

"You said I had no interest in what you were doing," I leaned forward, tapping my spoon against my mouth, "But you were wrong,"

Every ounce of humor drained from his face, and it didn't take more than a split second to know I'd made a mistake.

"You're lying," he seethed.

"You don't anything about me," I shook my head, trying to save the situation, but he held up a single pale white finger.

"I know that you're lying. I know when anyone is lying," he leaned forward on his arms until his face was closer to mine than I was comfortable with, "Call it a talent," he hissed, and it wasn't until that exact moment that I started to see him as anything at all similar to the people he hung around with.

"You could be wrong. I could-"

"I'm not wrong," he shook his head quickly, "You don't even know what this is about,"

"I have an idea-"

"You're wrong," he sighed in resignation, leaning back enough that I could breathe normally again, "We're trying to figure out a way to make sure Slytherin wins the House Cup,"

"I beg your pardon?" I blinked.

"We want to make sure we win," he repeated through clenched teeth.

"You're trying to fix the competition?" I asked incredulously, and he nodded, "Why were you and your friends so scared of being caught by me, then?"

"We weren't scared," he protested, "My House, you know…we tend to be a bit dramatic," he rolled his eyes.

I scrutinized his face, not believing a single word he was telling me. He not so much as flinched under my gaze, however, staring back calmly. His eyes were blank and his jaw slack; nothing that betrayed any hint of dishonesty. The longer I looked at him, the more I was forced to trust him.

It wasn't exactly the type of activity the school promoted, but it did make sense. There was a high possibility these boys' parents were involved in recent newspaper headlines, and I wouldn't be surprised if the Slytherins wanted to wreak some kind of havoc – something past innocent jokes and pranks – to impress Mommy and Daddy and somehow prove their worth.

I didn't see how rigging the House Cup competition was even a possibility; even I'd be impressed if they managed to pull it off.

Whether or not it was because I truly believed he was telling the truth, or because I wanted to, I let the matter drop. Not that I really had a choice, because the second I made up my mind, Snape pushed his plate away and stood up.

"You can stop sticking your nose in things that aren't your business now," he drawled before turning to leave. He paused after a few steps, however, and looked over his shoulder at me, giving me a short and uncomfortable nod before quickly walking away and slipping through the door.

My appetite suddenly shot, I too abandoned my dinner and, thanking the house elves that rushed up to me the second I stood, left the kitchens, heading back towards the common room.

It was a nice feeling, having one less thing to worry about. That made a record of two for the day.

I hadn't thought about it that way before, but knowing Sirius didn't have feelings for me was one less thing to worry about it. It hadn't had the outcome I'd dreamt of, the romantic swept-up-in-his-arms ending I would have written about in my journal if I did that sort of thing, but it was an ending of some sort.

It was closure, an opportunity to move on, to maybe go with someone else without that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever Sirius was nearby.

I hadn't paid him much notice before, but Nicholas Perdue had been giving me the eyes in Herbology for quite some time now.

My friends were settled around the fire when I muttered the password to the Fat Lady and stepped into the common room, half doing homework and half laughing with each other. Sirius wasn't there, though I found I had no interest in his whereabouts.

"Charlotte!" Lily cried out, the first to notice me, "Where have you been?"

"Kitchens," I told her, settling into the empty spot on the couch between her and Scarlett, "Sorry about my nails,"

"Don't worry about it," she laughed, "How are you?" she then asked, her voice considerably more tender.

"I'm good," I said quietly, and her eyes skimmed my face. She smiled, squeezing my hand, and I smiled back.

"Evans," James called out, and she emitted a quiet sigh before turning her head to look at him, "Who'd win in a fight, Remus or me?"

"Hm," she placed a finger on her chin in thought, "I'd have to go with you," she smiled, and James' eyes lit up before he looked around at Remus, who was grinning and looking much more well rested, with a loud "HA". He blew a kiss at Lily, who shook her head in pretend annoyance, but I discerned the slight curve to her lips.

"I dunno, Lily," Scarlett spoke up, "I'd put my money on Remus,"

Remus glanced at her from his perch on the arm of Peter's chair with his mouth slightly open and his eyes even happier than James'. He made to punch James on the arm, but, in his dazed elation, lost his balance and practically fell off the chair, just barely managing to level himself and avoid complete humiliation. Everyone still laughed, however, and his face turned a deep shade of crimson.

"He's kind of awkward, yeah?" Scarlett whispered to me.

"Sometimes," I couldn't help but agree, and she giggled.

"Kind of cute, though," she said after a moment of hesitation, and I glanced at her with pleasant surprise.

"What's with the sudden change of heart?" I asked, and she blushed.

"I figured since Sirius is yours now," she started, and I felt a pang in my chest when I realized Lily hadn't told anyone, "I might as well start setting my sights on someone else. I reckon he likes me, actually," she admitted.

"Oh?" I smiled, "What makes you think that?"

"When we went to the bookstore in Hogsmeade, he was all flustered. I may not be the brightest one here, but I can tell when I make someone nervous," she bit her lip, "You think I should go for it?" she asked me, looking at Remus now.

He had settled himself on the floor by Peter's feet where there was no danger of tripping over his own two feet, pretending to be engaged in the newly started conversation about whether Peter was secretly a cold-blooded killer who could beat any one of us in a brawl, but he was glancing up at Scarlett every few seconds, smiling to himself. Clearly Scarlett taking her side had put him in a gleeful mood, and he had to keep looking at her to make sure it had really happened.

"Yeah, I think you should," I nodded, and Scarlett grinned. I beamed at Remus, who was now glancing between the two of us questioningly, then turned to Lily to share the news. She was preoccupied, however, laughing at something James was saying; he was flushed and kept looking at her like the sound of her laughter was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard.

Perhaps it was. Whatever it was that was beginning to bud between the two of them, and between Scarlett and Remus, was enough to cause a flutter in my chest.

Maybe I couldn't have a happy ending, but I hoped more than anything that they could.

A/N: Don't hate me for this chapter, even though I hate myself. Argh.

On the bright side, next chapter's finally the BIG PRANK. Practically the whole story has been working up to this point, so I'm kind of abnormally excited for it. Hopefully you guys feel the same! :)

Since last time I updated, I made a banner for this story with actors that best match how I picture Sirius and Charlotte in my mind. If anyone's interested, the link is in my bio!

Also, those of you that review every chapter: I love you guys so so so much and I'm truly grateful for you all. Those of you I don't, I really do love you as well. But 319 of you viewed the last chapter and only 15 reviewed, so I think some more of you should review this one. Just so I know you're alive and well. ;)

Thanks for everything!