"If it helps, you're doing slightly better than Thor."

Loki growled, pushing another button, growling again when nothing happened. "Believe it or not," he began, eyes sliding toward Darcy as he tried to calm himself down enough to remember what he was supposed to do, "that doesn't help at all."

"Well then, I think I know what might help," she replied, before slapping his hand away from the button he had been forcefully holding down. "That's the radio. And in order to listen to the radio, you have to turn on the car."

"I did!" Loki snapped, frustrated with how difficult learning to drive was turning out to be.

"No, you put the key in the ignition, but you didn't turn it. Seriously, with how advanced you keep telling me Asgard is, you'd think this would be a piece of cake."

"Maybe that's the problem," Loki mused, turning the key until he heard the engine start. "This vehicle is just too primitive for my highly evolved mind."

"Yes, I'm sure that's it. Okay, now check the mirrors like I taught you."

"Why? There's no one here."

"Just do it. Besides, you need to get into the habit of doing that for when you actually start driving on your own."

"Fine. Now what?"

"Press on the gas lightly. Not that lightly. We're not even moving."

"Yes we are."

"Barely. Look, that snail down there just passed us. Oh, there it goes again. I swear I just heard it go, "On your left.""

"That's ridiculous. Snails are not capable of speech on this planet."

"That's not the point-wait did you just say on this planet? Actually, no, I don't care right now. Can you try to go a little faster, please. You're driving like a grandma. Well, not my grandma, of course. Grandma Lewis drives like a cross between a nascar racer and a getaway driver from an action movie."

"Thank you for that little tidbit of useless information."

"Yeah, I thought you might like it. And-oh! That's better. Just keep to this speed so-and grandma speed again. Great."

"I'm not driving like a grandma."

"You're right, you're going even slower. Activate Grandma Driving Powers!"

"Be quiet, I'm trying to focus."

"Twice the grandma, half the speed," Darcy announced, snickering when he scowled at her, only to shriek when he suddenly sped the car up. Smirking at her look of surprise as he proceeded to drive the car with the expertise of someone who had been doing it for years, Loki was once again thankful he was such a fast learner.

Ha, he showed her. Loki of Asgard was no grandma.

AN: November 16, 2014. That was the last time I updated this story. Seriously. I am soooo sorry. No real excuse other than lack of motivation. Again, I'm sorry. Also, a few chapters back-aka, a few years back-I promised that I would eventually have some actual plot in this story. I take it back. The outline I had is gone (probably lost it when I moved) as well as the few chapters I wrote for it. So, I've decided to just write chapters like this until I run out of ideas. I apologize to anyone who was looking forward to my mysterious plot-that-just-wasn't-to-be.

And, yes, Sam totally told Darcy about Steve's "On your left." Sam and Darcy are also best friends. I hope to have a chapter with him soon. Er... Soon-ish?